April 6, 2026 • 20 mins
We're taking a couple of weeks off (yes, we're actual humans!), so we're reaching into the vault for this one - and it's a goodie worth revisiting.
Nat and Kristen unpack gravitas - the ancient Roman virtue that's been wildly misunderstood, especially for women. What it actually is, what it definitely isn't, and why authenticity in your voice and message matters more than projecting 'main character energy'. Plus some practical tips on making your voice heard in the rooms that matter. If you missed it first time round, now's your chance. Back in two weeks, Powrsuiters.
Loved it? Share it and leave us a 5-star review! Got a topic for us? Email hello@powrsuit.com. Follow Powrsuit on LinkedIn and Instagram, or join us at www.powrsuit.com for bite-sized professional development that actually fits into your week. 'Til next time, Powrsuiters!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:11):
Welcome to Power Up, the podcastthat uncovers the unique
challenges women leaders face today.
Join your hosts Nat and Kristen as we dive into the tough topics
and provide actionable insights you can apply right now.
Don't forget to hit subscribe soyou don't miss any episodes.
(00:31):
Nat and I have a talk coming up,Gravitas from Emperors to
everyone. And So what better opportunity
to dig into this concept of gravitas than with our pod
people? Get our gravitas on.
Well, this kind of came out withthe executive presence mini
(00:52):
master class we did as part of the power suit membership
network. And we just think there's so
much content in this executive presence.
And one of the, what is it key traits of executive presence is
gravitas. Yeah, I think, and it's funny.
Gravitas, like most things, is like yellow cars.
As soon as you start thinking about it, you notice everywhere.
I've been obsessed with The WestWing over the weekend, actually.
(01:15):
I've been trying to get my girlfriend to watch it for
months and at one point I did accuse her of being too dumb to
understand it when she didn't like the first episode.
However, we've moved on. We're now in the season 2.
Well she was like maybe I will be, maybe I'm not.
She doesn't care when I get aggressive about trying to force
her to watch my favorite show. But I analyse it for gravitas
(01:35):
the whole time because. And there are some really
interesting elements of it. Obviously President Butler is
like a great showcase of someonewith gravitas.
However, I do think sometimes itgoes borderline over to being
kind of not cool. Like, and I don't mean like cool
as in stylish or sophisticated. I mean cool as in he's kind of a
bit rude. And so I think there's with
(01:57):
everything, it's on a continuum and there is a sweet spot where
you are authentically showcasinggravitas without being.
Rude. Well, let's dig in to its
history first of all, which I think is pretty interesting.
And it goes back to Roman times.And the Romans had three virtues
and one of them was gravitas. So it's from that era, along
(02:19):
with dignity and respect. So these are three things that
were really important in that time.
So they saw gravitas in particular as a display of moral
strength and commitment when delivering a message.
And I think we can cut that up into two things.
One is this idea of commitment to a message, and the second is
(02:40):
moral strength and like who you are.
And I kind of view that. As a messages.
Yeah, and or personal brand, like who people perceive you as
as a leader. I like this idea of commitment
to a message because now if you think about when we're
delivering a message when we were leading big teams and, or
when we're up in front of a crowd or when we're sitting and
receiving a message or like you're watching West Wing.
(03:01):
It is so powerful when the person delivering the message is
really committed to it. Like they genuinely believe it,
they're passionate about it and they're sharing something that
is really important to them. Like that comes off right?
Yeah, Yeah. No, I, I completely agree.
I think, and that that totally makes sense, that in Roman
times, Greek times, Roman times,yeah.
(03:23):
That that that was where the word came from, that you see
these incredible people who really back what they're talking
about and are able to articulateit in a way that really inspires
people. I always think what happens,
what goes awry is you see that afew times, you place the label
on that because you go, these are the things.
And then we start looking for symptoms of it and go, oh, loud
voice, strong authority of how they say it, great gestures.
(03:46):
And we mistake those things for gravitas rather than its
underlying meaning. And so we get confused and then
we start to mistake people for having it just because they look
the part rather than genuinely being the part.
Yeah, and I suppose that's shaped by the context of the
time, isn't it? And back in Roman and Greek
(04:07):
times, these are orators that were standing up in public
spaces and they were often sharing a message.
And actually none of those messages, as we see gravitas
today, as serious and commandingand low voice.
That wasn't what it was like back then.
They had wit and humor and they're engaging an audience.
(04:28):
And that was gravitas of the time, I think.
That's still true today. That's what I've heard, is that
idea of it is being a serious character without taking
yourself too seriously. So there's that element of
lightness and ability to have a joke or have some wit while also
being really serious about what you stand for.
(04:48):
It's so funny because Sirius hassuch connotations of like, it's
a serious. I don't know, is it?
It's like a manner. We are serious.
Yeah, like. Serious Statesman.
As opposed to it could actually be passionate or like that word,
serious can I suppose be interpreted a few different
ways, right? Yeah, I like Sirius because I
(05:09):
think Sirius has that respect for risk, respect for the
consequences of the thing. I feel like that comes across
more than passionate, has almostfrivolous sometimes, like we're
seriousness. In between, I feel like we need.
Gravitas. It's gravitas, yeah.
It is gravitas, isn't it? That is, that is actually what
it is. And it's it's less delivering it
(05:31):
in a serious way, but it's delivering it by taking the
message seriously. Therefore they've prepped.
They know what they want to say.They know who they're talking to
and and they. Believe they're the person who
should say it or our person who should say it, which is I think
sometimes for women, especially when we don't have a huge number
of role models to look to for gravitas that we see on TV shows
(05:54):
or whatever. It's very easy to think, why am
I, you know, my mum says this all the time.
Why would anyone want to hear from me?
And it's like, why wouldn't they?
Like, I think that can sometimesbe the final switch for women to
be like, you deserve this. Like you are the voice that
should be saying this message. Because they probably have said
it to you privately or you've heard them say it.
So you're like, everyone needs to know.
(06:16):
Yeah. And I love that.
And then the other piece, I thought that personal brand
thing was quite interesting. So if you think of the orators
back in that time, they would have been philosophers or
scientists or they would have been researching really
interesting things, be at the skies or be at human nature and
then sharing that information and they would have been branded
as such authorities in that space.
(06:37):
And so I think that idea, we've dealt with this and in lots of
different mini master classes, but also podcasts.
What are others perceptions of your personal brand?
Because that is so important. If you respect the person
delivering the message, you're going to take their message more
seriously. Yes, and I think going back to
The West Wing, a great example from Season 2.
You really did binge this. Oh.
(06:58):
Yes, I did. As Thanksgiving and President
Bartlett was really uptight about the Turkey.
He wanted to learn how to cook the Turkey properly to the point
he rung the hotline to figure out the Turkey.
I think that's such a great example of gravitas because it
showcases his attention to detail and seriousness around
traditions and taking and and providing for people.
(07:20):
And all of these character traits that are important for
him to be a president is displayed in this kind of funny
way that he knows everyone's joking about it, but it's so
important to him. And I think those are, that is
from the personal brain perspective are really, in my
opinion, great example of how when you know who you are, your
values, your strengths, your superpowers, what you stand for,
(07:42):
that can come out in all sorts of different ways.
Yeah. And you, I see it all the time
on LinkedIn now, people who really have a strong
understanding of the message they want to get to the world.
They sometimes joke about it, they're sometimes doing quite a
serious essay on it. And that is gravitas to me.
Yeah. And then unfortunately in the
modern context, we've gone from the historical understanding of
(08:04):
what gravitas is, where it came from and what it meant.
And then it's been distorted in basically over the last 100
years in our modern context of the representation of the
leaders that we've had at the top have displayed certain
traits and we've effectively we adopted those as gravitas.
We've got these misconceptions about gravitas being equated to
pitch of voice, tone of voice, if it's high, if it's low, the
(08:28):
speed of voice. And as a result, we get all this
harmful advice about you need tohave gravitas.
It's like, well, hang on, are you telling me I have to lower
my voice? Do you think the Roman orators
were ever woman? Probably not.
The reason I ask is because thisis in my opinion, why it happens
is you have a bunch of incredible orators who present
(08:51):
gravitas. And that's what I mean about the
symptoms thing. Then people look at them and go,
what do they have in common? They all have deep voices.
They all do this. That's gravitas and it's no,
that's not. That's just what unified all
those different people who had it.
And so then we start to look forthose traits rather than the
underlying trait, which is wherewomen again go awry because no
one in Roman times and actually up until very recently in in
(09:14):
leadership positions were women.So we didn't look or act like
anyone who they were trying to model it off.
Yes, yes. If anything, that gives women a
huge opportunity to embrace gravitas and what it actually is
intended to mean, which is again, preparation of the
message, deeply caring about themessage.
And then I always like your wineand wine label analogy of really
(09:39):
understanding the audience you're delivering it to.
You know, don't change the wine,but the label might be slightly
different depending on who is the stakeholders and who is
receiving the message. Yeah, no, absolutely.
I think we're learning about that a fair amount with now
power suit going into Australia and the US and the different
ways you behave in different cultures and you know, even down
(09:59):
to how much you, Chad, small chip talk before you get into
business, just from country to country.
And it's the same with gravitas.It's the situation is culturally
different. And I don't mean necessarily
country culture. I mean the culture of a meeting
is different than a culture of afamily dinner.
So you do need to apply a slightchange to those things.
So should we move to some examples of how you might embody
(10:25):
gravitas? And by this, we don't mean those
symptoms. We don't mean lowering your
voice or looking the part. We mean genuinely, when you have
something to say to the world, saying it in a way that conveys
that you find it serious, but maybe not that you're boring.
Yeah. That you actually can take
yourself a bit lightly and and be open minded.
But you really do inspire people.
(10:46):
Yeah. Let's do.
It great you start with the first tip.
Yeah, I'd like to start with Jacinda as an example, Jacinda
Ardern, our ex Prime Minister. And I think this is a great
example of Gravitas in the earlydays of COVID, when a lot of
leaders internationally, nationally were showing the
seriousness of the situation by kind of telling their
populations off, telling them togo inside, telling them for
(11:08):
breaking the rules. And Jacinda showcased, showcased
a totally different way, which was standing up and conveying
that seriousness, but conveying it with kindness.
My message to you is we are in this together.
And I am here as your leader to bring you together and to convey
this information and to be really taking it extremely
seriously, but in a way that wasreally authentic to her.
(11:30):
And I know even today she's looked to as a global leader for
how she bucked the trend of whatGravitas was expecting to look
like in that situation and formed her own way of
delivering. That's gravitas, like being able
to deliver a message from your heart and be able to
authentically show up. And she cared for the people and
taking care of one another. So yeah, I love that.
(11:52):
Gravitas shown differently, I suppose.
Yeah, yeah. I am going to talk about
confidence equals caring. And when you care about a
message, you are able to communicate it in a way with
confidence, just automatically. That probably doesn't make
sense, does it? No, I know what you mean.
(12:12):
Is is leaning into caring to actually engage with how you
feel about something and be present when you're talking
about it or when the topic comesup because that then that
engagement in it. Yeah, I think it's, I think it's
this desire to add value, right?Like you are sharing something
in order to connect or in order to share knowledge or in order
(12:35):
to inspire or another to to humor people.
But you've got this intention toshare a message and therefore
you unknowingly have gravitas. And I suppose all I'm trying to
get people to recognize is go, Oh yeah, I do that naturally all
the time. So in a meeting context, if I
(12:55):
can translate the same caring tothe message that I'm sharing,
that ultimately is gravitas. Yeah, I like it and and like
confidence you're gravitas will be in different situations.
So like if you are someone who cares deeply about, I don't
know, the Kardashians and I knowthat's a dumb example, but I
think it's worth throwing in there.
(13:16):
You can speak with authority. I mean, I can on why I actually
think they're a cultural phenomenon and they deserve all
their money and how they did change the world and that.
Whereas if I'm talking about cooking, I have no gravitas.
Like I don't care. It's not it's not a thing that
I'm ever going to present. I'd like to go to a some
behavioural stuff because this is something that, again, it's a
(13:37):
symptom, but I think it comes from the sense of truly
believing you deserve to be in the room.
And the example, the literal example I have in my head as a
woman I met a while ago and I think I've talked about it
before, but there was a couple of characteristics that I really
felt embodied gravitas. Firstly was how she presented
herself. She had incredible dress sense,
but her own dress sense, it wasn't like corporate, it wasn't
(14:00):
like it was just how she dressedherself.
She also was in her office and she had her shoulders back and
was it's their presence again. She was a beer, she was looking
around, she was engaging with people.
She was making sure to stop and say hi along the way.
She walked with confidence. She wasn't sort of bowing out of
people's way and like a lot of sometimes do.
(14:23):
And finally, the thing that I really paid attention to with
her, I'm a I'm a shocker for analyzing people as I'm speaking
to them is she was quite comfortable pausing and
pondering before speaking. So she really was believing what
she was saying by the time she said it, without being frazzled.
She controlled her speed of delivery and she controlled the
(14:44):
tone of delivery. And there was something about
that level of self assuredness that just conveyed to me.
This lady is a serious lady, butshe's not.
She's not trying to bombard me with that.
She is just manoeuvring in a waythat conveys that, yeah.
I love that. That's so good.
OK, I've got one on tone of voice, and this is be true to
(15:07):
your natural tone. In my 20s, I did make an effort
to lower my tone of voice because I often was the only
woman in the room. And even 10 years later in my
30s, someone told me they were still doing it.
So I know that women. Do you do it now?
Do it now. Go give us an example.
I actually think my tone is quite low.
I have to edit this podcast and I'm like, wow, I've got a deep.
(15:27):
Voice you've been practicing foryour career.
I'm like my alter ego, but look older studies have actually
shown that people preferred leaders with lower pitched
voices. But guess who those studies are
done on? Men.
They're done on men. So in a more modern study, Midam
Kim from the University of Kansas School of Business, where
(15:49):
people had to choose between themost trustworthy sounding CEO
from a set of voices. Lower pitched voices were
generally perceived as more trustworthy.
But bear with me here. Bear with me here.
The effect was less pronounced for female leaders then for male
leaders. So while people might have
different ideas about what makesa female leader trustworthy
(16:11):
compared to men. So all to say, when a man had a
slightly lower voice, there was that bias that I trust a man
with a slightly lower voice thatdid not hold true when the
female leaders were talking and we were looking to other cues
about how trustworthy a female leader was had nothing to do
with pitch a voice and how you describe those behavioural
(16:33):
observations of people, that's probably more the cues we're
taking in with women in terms ofrelational open, you know, all
of some of those things. I like it.
I also think it's a great example of why gender equity
works for everyone because imagine being a man stuck in
that gender norm where you have to have a deep voice to be
trustworthy like. Break free or tall or tall break
(16:54):
free. Like I'm not, I'm not married to
a tall man and that always like I hate seeing those studies
about tall men. Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, I would like to do one. That might be #unpopular
opinion, but it's actually something that I think we all
need to work on, which is don't turn up light and frazzled.
I think it's such an easy trick for all of us.
(17:15):
If you have a calendar, you own that calendar.
No one else owns it. So turn up, choose when you're
going to turn up and turn up if you have to, 5 minutes early,
one minute early. Have a deep breath before you go
into a thing. Because the number of times, and
I do see it with women, they turn up frantic, they're rushed.
They're oh, I'm so sorry, I'm late and I do this sometimes
(17:37):
too. So no judgement.
That is the opposite of gravitas.
That is someone who looks out ofcontrol in their life and that I
look at and go, you seem overwhelmed right now, probably
am not going to offer you any more on your plate because
you've got too much and you probably don't.
It's just that we sort of fall into the habit sometimes of
rocking up like that. And so I think that's an easy
(18:00):
one, to really put ourselves in a position that we don't look
like everything else is controlling us.
We're actually in control of ourschedule and when we turn up and
you know. Yeah.
And I'll piggyback on that. It take 5 to 10 minutes to prep
your message for that meeting. And that could be if you have an
opportunity to talk in any meeting where you can share your
(18:20):
opinion or you can share findings or you can ask a
question, take the 5 or 10 minutes on route to that meeting
in between meetings if you can and prepare what it is that you
want to say because I think thatpreparation is gravitas because
then ultimately you care about what you are saying and you care
ultimately about the outcome of that meeting.
(18:42):
So that is a nice piggyback on your message of just genuinely,
let's try to, I don't know, manager calendar a little bit
better, respect the time of others in meetings and shop just
a little bit prepared. Shop prepared well and even if
you are late, it's OK to take a deep breath and say I really
apologise for being late. I'm a huge fan of apologising
for being late. I know there is some gravitas
(19:04):
fans who are like never apologise.
I, I think it's rude to turn up late as someone who does it.
So I think it's worth apologising.
But that's it. You can move on.
You don't have to sort of turn it into a song and dance about
it. I will end on the last one,
which is to call back to our podcast #24 which was
communicate with. Yeah, which is Communicate with
(19:25):
impact. And so check out podcast #24 and
that was all about understandingwho your stakeholders, who your
audience is, and what do they need to hear.
So it goes again with the prepping of the message and
genuinely caring about the message, but also is the
storytelling getting to the point for that audience?
What is the ask? What is your channel of
(19:47):
delivery? Is it via Zoom?
Is it via e-mail? Is it in person?
I feel. Like I've, I've spoken actually
it was probably part of a thing I've read recently around and
we've talked about this before. If you're working with people
alongside you on a project, for example, you might be right in
there and you're asking for collaboration and you're sharing
ideas if you're reporting on theoutcome of that to someone else.
(20:09):
Who's not involved? You want to take it right down
to a summary and know what they need to find out and just
deliver that so they can get on with their day.
And that's that kind of wine, wine label thing again, of just
knowing your audience and recognizing that not everyone
needs to know the same stuff. Figure out what they need to
know and give it to them. Want to hear my quote?
Wait, what's our music for this Kristen's quote corner.
(20:34):
My quote of the day is of the week.
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Fabulous Gravitas. Gravitas.
Hope you enjoyed that everyone. Check out powersuit.com and we
will catch you next time. Bye.
Welcome to Power Up, the podcastthat uncovers the unique
challenges women leaders face today.
Join your hosts Nat and Kristen as we dive into the tough topics
and provide actionable insights you can apply right now.
Don't forget to hit subscribe soyou don't miss any episodes.
(00:31):
Nat and I have a talk coming up,Gravitas from Emperors to
everyone. And So what better opportunity
to dig into this concept of gravitas than with our pod
people? Get our gravitas on.
Well, this kind of came out withthe executive presence mini
(00:52):
master class we did as part of the power suit membership
network. And we just think there's so
much content in this executive presence.
And one of the, what is it key traits of executive presence is
gravitas. Yeah, I think, and it's funny.
Gravitas, like most things, is like yellow cars.
As soon as you start thinking about it, you notice everywhere.
I've been obsessed with The WestWing over the weekend, actually.
(01:15):
I've been trying to get my girlfriend to watch it for
months and at one point I did accuse her of being too dumb to
understand it when she didn't like the first episode.
However, we've moved on. We're now in the season 2.
Well she was like maybe I will be, maybe I'm not.
She doesn't care when I get aggressive about trying to force
her to watch my favorite show. But I analyse it for gravitas
(01:35):
the whole time because. And there are some really
interesting elements of it. Obviously President Butler is
like a great showcase of someonewith gravitas.
However, I do think sometimes itgoes borderline over to being
kind of not cool. Like, and I don't mean like cool
as in stylish or sophisticated. I mean cool as in he's kind of a
bit rude. And so I think there's with
(01:57):
everything, it's on a continuum and there is a sweet spot where
you are authentically showcasinggravitas without being.
Rude. Well, let's dig in to its
history first of all, which I think is pretty interesting.
And it goes back to Roman times.And the Romans had three virtues
and one of them was gravitas. So it's from that era, along
(02:19):
with dignity and respect. So these are three things that
were really important in that time.
So they saw gravitas in particular as a display of moral
strength and commitment when delivering a message.
And I think we can cut that up into two things.
One is this idea of commitment to a message, and the second is
(02:40):
moral strength and like who you are.
And I kind of view that. As a messages.
Yeah, and or personal brand, like who people perceive you as
as a leader. I like this idea of commitment
to a message because now if you think about when we're
delivering a message when we were leading big teams and, or
when we're up in front of a crowd or when we're sitting and
receiving a message or like you're watching West Wing.
(03:01):
It is so powerful when the person delivering the message is
really committed to it. Like they genuinely believe it,
they're passionate about it and they're sharing something that
is really important to them. Like that comes off right?
Yeah, Yeah. No, I, I completely agree.
I think, and that that totally makes sense, that in Roman
times, Greek times, Roman times,yeah.
(03:23):
That that that was where the word came from, that you see
these incredible people who really back what they're talking
about and are able to articulateit in a way that really inspires
people. I always think what happens,
what goes awry is you see that afew times, you place the label
on that because you go, these are the things.
And then we start looking for symptoms of it and go, oh, loud
voice, strong authority of how they say it, great gestures.
(03:46):
And we mistake those things for gravitas rather than its
underlying meaning. And so we get confused and then
we start to mistake people for having it just because they look
the part rather than genuinely being the part.
Yeah, and I suppose that's shaped by the context of the
time, isn't it? And back in Roman and Greek
(04:07):
times, these are orators that were standing up in public
spaces and they were often sharing a message.
And actually none of those messages, as we see gravitas
today, as serious and commandingand low voice.
That wasn't what it was like back then.
They had wit and humor and they're engaging an audience.
(04:28):
And that was gravitas of the time, I think.
That's still true today. That's what I've heard, is that
idea of it is being a serious character without taking
yourself too seriously. So there's that element of
lightness and ability to have a joke or have some wit while also
being really serious about what you stand for.
(04:48):
It's so funny because Sirius hassuch connotations of like, it's
a serious. I don't know, is it?
It's like a manner. We are serious.
Yeah, like. Serious Statesman.
As opposed to it could actually be passionate or like that word,
serious can I suppose be interpreted a few different
ways, right? Yeah, I like Sirius because I
(05:09):
think Sirius has that respect for risk, respect for the
consequences of the thing. I feel like that comes across
more than passionate, has almostfrivolous sometimes, like we're
seriousness. In between, I feel like we need.
Gravitas. It's gravitas, yeah.
It is gravitas, isn't it? That is, that is actually what
it is. And it's it's less delivering it
(05:31):
in a serious way, but it's delivering it by taking the
message seriously. Therefore they've prepped.
They know what they want to say.They know who they're talking to
and and they. Believe they're the person who
should say it or our person who should say it, which is I think
sometimes for women, especially when we don't have a huge number
of role models to look to for gravitas that we see on TV shows
(05:54):
or whatever. It's very easy to think, why am
I, you know, my mum says this all the time.
Why would anyone want to hear from me?
And it's like, why wouldn't they?
Like, I think that can sometimesbe the final switch for women to
be like, you deserve this. Like you are the voice that
should be saying this message. Because they probably have said
it to you privately or you've heard them say it.
So you're like, everyone needs to know.
(06:16):
Yeah. And I love that.
And then the other piece, I thought that personal brand
thing was quite interesting. So if you think of the orators
back in that time, they would have been philosophers or
scientists or they would have been researching really
interesting things, be at the skies or be at human nature and
then sharing that information and they would have been branded
as such authorities in that space.
(06:37):
And so I think that idea, we've dealt with this and in lots of
different mini master classes, but also podcasts.
What are others perceptions of your personal brand?
Because that is so important. If you respect the person
delivering the message, you're going to take their message more
seriously. Yes, and I think going back to
The West Wing, a great example from Season 2.
You really did binge this. Oh.
(06:58):
Yes, I did. As Thanksgiving and President
Bartlett was really uptight about the Turkey.
He wanted to learn how to cook the Turkey properly to the point
he rung the hotline to figure out the Turkey.
I think that's such a great example of gravitas because it
showcases his attention to detail and seriousness around
traditions and taking and and providing for people.
(07:20):
And all of these character traits that are important for
him to be a president is displayed in this kind of funny
way that he knows everyone's joking about it, but it's so
important to him. And I think those are, that is
from the personal brain perspective are really, in my
opinion, great example of how when you know who you are, your
values, your strengths, your superpowers, what you stand for,
(07:42):
that can come out in all sorts of different ways.
Yeah. And you, I see it all the time
on LinkedIn now, people who really have a strong
understanding of the message they want to get to the world.
They sometimes joke about it, they're sometimes doing quite a
serious essay on it. And that is gravitas to me.
Yeah. And then unfortunately in the
modern context, we've gone from the historical understanding of
(08:04):
what gravitas is, where it came from and what it meant.
And then it's been distorted in basically over the last 100
years in our modern context of the representation of the
leaders that we've had at the top have displayed certain
traits and we've effectively we adopted those as gravitas.
We've got these misconceptions about gravitas being equated to
pitch of voice, tone of voice, if it's high, if it's low, the
(08:28):
speed of voice. And as a result, we get all this
harmful advice about you need tohave gravitas.
It's like, well, hang on, are you telling me I have to lower
my voice? Do you think the Roman orators
were ever woman? Probably not.
The reason I ask is because thisis in my opinion, why it happens
is you have a bunch of incredible orators who present
(08:51):
gravitas. And that's what I mean about the
symptoms thing. Then people look at them and go,
what do they have in common? They all have deep voices.
They all do this. That's gravitas and it's no,
that's not. That's just what unified all
those different people who had it.
And so then we start to look forthose traits rather than the
underlying trait, which is wherewomen again go awry because no
one in Roman times and actually up until very recently in in
(09:14):
leadership positions were women.So we didn't look or act like
anyone who they were trying to model it off.
Yes, yes. If anything, that gives women a
huge opportunity to embrace gravitas and what it actually is
intended to mean, which is again, preparation of the
message, deeply caring about themessage.
And then I always like your wineand wine label analogy of really
(09:39):
understanding the audience you're delivering it to.
You know, don't change the wine,but the label might be slightly
different depending on who is the stakeholders and who is
receiving the message. Yeah, no, absolutely.
I think we're learning about that a fair amount with now
power suit going into Australia and the US and the different
ways you behave in different cultures and you know, even down
(09:59):
to how much you, Chad, small chip talk before you get into
business, just from country to country.
And it's the same with gravitas.It's the situation is culturally
different. And I don't mean necessarily
country culture. I mean the culture of a meeting
is different than a culture of afamily dinner.
So you do need to apply a slightchange to those things.
So should we move to some examples of how you might embody
(10:25):
gravitas? And by this, we don't mean those
symptoms. We don't mean lowering your
voice or looking the part. We mean genuinely, when you have
something to say to the world, saying it in a way that conveys
that you find it serious, but maybe not that you're boring.
Yeah. That you actually can take
yourself a bit lightly and and be open minded.
But you really do inspire people.
(10:46):
Yeah. Let's do.
It great you start with the first tip.
Yeah, I'd like to start with Jacinda as an example, Jacinda
Ardern, our ex Prime Minister. And I think this is a great
example of Gravitas in the earlydays of COVID, when a lot of
leaders internationally, nationally were showing the
seriousness of the situation by kind of telling their
populations off, telling them togo inside, telling them for
(11:08):
breaking the rules. And Jacinda showcased, showcased
a totally different way, which was standing up and conveying
that seriousness, but conveying it with kindness.
My message to you is we are in this together.
And I am here as your leader to bring you together and to convey
this information and to be really taking it extremely
seriously, but in a way that wasreally authentic to her.
(11:30):
And I know even today she's looked to as a global leader for
how she bucked the trend of whatGravitas was expecting to look
like in that situation and formed her own way of
delivering. That's gravitas, like being able
to deliver a message from your heart and be able to
authentically show up. And she cared for the people and
taking care of one another. So yeah, I love that.
(11:52):
Gravitas shown differently, I suppose.
Yeah, yeah. I am going to talk about
confidence equals caring. And when you care about a
message, you are able to communicate it in a way with
confidence, just automatically. That probably doesn't make
sense, does it? No, I know what you mean.
(12:12):
Is is leaning into caring to actually engage with how you
feel about something and be present when you're talking
about it or when the topic comesup because that then that
engagement in it. Yeah, I think it's, I think it's
this desire to add value, right?Like you are sharing something
in order to connect or in order to share knowledge or in order
(12:35):
to inspire or another to to humor people.
But you've got this intention toshare a message and therefore
you unknowingly have gravitas. And I suppose all I'm trying to
get people to recognize is go, Oh yeah, I do that naturally all
the time. So in a meeting context, if I
(12:55):
can translate the same caring tothe message that I'm sharing,
that ultimately is gravitas. Yeah, I like it and and like
confidence you're gravitas will be in different situations.
So like if you are someone who cares deeply about, I don't
know, the Kardashians and I knowthat's a dumb example, but I
think it's worth throwing in there.
(13:16):
You can speak with authority. I mean, I can on why I actually
think they're a cultural phenomenon and they deserve all
their money and how they did change the world and that.
Whereas if I'm talking about cooking, I have no gravitas.
Like I don't care. It's not it's not a thing that
I'm ever going to present. I'd like to go to a some
behavioural stuff because this is something that, again, it's a
(13:37):
symptom, but I think it comes from the sense of truly
believing you deserve to be in the room.
And the example, the literal example I have in my head as a
woman I met a while ago and I think I've talked about it
before, but there was a couple of characteristics that I really
felt embodied gravitas. Firstly was how she presented
herself. She had incredible dress sense,
but her own dress sense, it wasn't like corporate, it wasn't
(14:00):
like it was just how she dressedherself.
She also was in her office and she had her shoulders back and
was it's their presence again. She was a beer, she was looking
around, she was engaging with people.
She was making sure to stop and say hi along the way.
She walked with confidence. She wasn't sort of bowing out of
people's way and like a lot of sometimes do.
(14:23):
And finally, the thing that I really paid attention to with
her, I'm a I'm a shocker for analyzing people as I'm speaking
to them is she was quite comfortable pausing and
pondering before speaking. So she really was believing what
she was saying by the time she said it, without being frazzled.
She controlled her speed of delivery and she controlled the
(14:44):
tone of delivery. And there was something about
that level of self assuredness that just conveyed to me.
This lady is a serious lady, butshe's not.
She's not trying to bombard me with that.
She is just manoeuvring in a waythat conveys that, yeah.
I love that. That's so good.
OK, I've got one on tone of voice, and this is be true to
(15:07):
your natural tone. In my 20s, I did make an effort
to lower my tone of voice because I often was the only
woman in the room. And even 10 years later in my
30s, someone told me they were still doing it.
So I know that women. Do you do it now?
Do it now. Go give us an example.
I actually think my tone is quite low.
I have to edit this podcast and I'm like, wow, I've got a deep.
(15:27):
Voice you've been practicing foryour career.
I'm like my alter ego, but look older studies have actually
shown that people preferred leaders with lower pitched
voices. But guess who those studies are
done on? Men.
They're done on men. So in a more modern study, Midam
Kim from the University of Kansas School of Business, where
(15:49):
people had to choose between themost trustworthy sounding CEO
from a set of voices. Lower pitched voices were
generally perceived as more trustworthy.
But bear with me here. Bear with me here.
The effect was less pronounced for female leaders then for male
leaders. So while people might have
different ideas about what makesa female leader trustworthy
(16:11):
compared to men. So all to say, when a man had a
slightly lower voice, there was that bias that I trust a man
with a slightly lower voice thatdid not hold true when the
female leaders were talking and we were looking to other cues
about how trustworthy a female leader was had nothing to do
with pitch a voice and how you describe those behavioural
(16:33):
observations of people, that's probably more the cues we're
taking in with women in terms ofrelational open, you know, all
of some of those things. I like it.
I also think it's a great example of why gender equity
works for everyone because imagine being a man stuck in
that gender norm where you have to have a deep voice to be
trustworthy like. Break free or tall or tall break
(16:54):
free. Like I'm not, I'm not married to
a tall man and that always like I hate seeing those studies
about tall men. Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, I would like to do one. That might be #unpopular
opinion, but it's actually something that I think we all
need to work on, which is don't turn up light and frazzled.
I think it's such an easy trick for all of us.
(17:15):
If you have a calendar, you own that calendar.
No one else owns it. So turn up, choose when you're
going to turn up and turn up if you have to, 5 minutes early,
one minute early. Have a deep breath before you go
into a thing. Because the number of times, and
I do see it with women, they turn up frantic, they're rushed.
They're oh, I'm so sorry, I'm late and I do this sometimes
(17:37):
too. So no judgement.
That is the opposite of gravitas.
That is someone who looks out ofcontrol in their life and that I
look at and go, you seem overwhelmed right now, probably
am not going to offer you any more on your plate because
you've got too much and you probably don't.
It's just that we sort of fall into the habit sometimes of
rocking up like that. And so I think that's an easy
(18:00):
one, to really put ourselves in a position that we don't look
like everything else is controlling us.
We're actually in control of ourschedule and when we turn up and
you know. Yeah.
And I'll piggyback on that. It take 5 to 10 minutes to prep
your message for that meeting. And that could be if you have an
opportunity to talk in any meeting where you can share your
(18:20):
opinion or you can share findings or you can ask a
question, take the 5 or 10 minutes on route to that meeting
in between meetings if you can and prepare what it is that you
want to say because I think thatpreparation is gravitas because
then ultimately you care about what you are saying and you care
ultimately about the outcome of that meeting.
(18:42):
So that is a nice piggyback on your message of just genuinely,
let's try to, I don't know, manager calendar a little bit
better, respect the time of others in meetings and shop just
a little bit prepared. Shop prepared well and even if
you are late, it's OK to take a deep breath and say I really
apologise for being late. I'm a huge fan of apologising
for being late. I know there is some gravitas
(19:04):
fans who are like never apologise.
I, I think it's rude to turn up late as someone who does it.
So I think it's worth apologising.
But that's it. You can move on.
You don't have to sort of turn it into a song and dance about
it. I will end on the last one,
which is to call back to our podcast #24 which was
communicate with. Yeah, which is Communicate with
(19:25):
impact. And so check out podcast #24 and
that was all about understandingwho your stakeholders, who your
audience is, and what do they need to hear.
So it goes again with the prepping of the message and
genuinely caring about the message, but also is the
storytelling getting to the point for that audience?
What is the ask? What is your channel of
(19:47):
delivery? Is it via Zoom?
Is it via e-mail? Is it in person?
I feel. Like I've, I've spoken actually
it was probably part of a thing I've read recently around and
we've talked about this before. If you're working with people
alongside you on a project, for example, you might be right in
there and you're asking for collaboration and you're sharing
ideas if you're reporting on theoutcome of that to someone else.
(20:09):
Who's not involved? You want to take it right down
to a summary and know what they need to find out and just
deliver that so they can get on with their day.
And that's that kind of wine, wine label thing again, of just
knowing your audience and recognizing that not everyone
needs to know the same stuff. Figure out what they need to
know and give it to them. Want to hear my quote?
Wait, what's our music for this Kristen's quote corner.
(20:34):
My quote of the day is of the week.
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Fabulous Gravitas. Gravitas.
Hope you enjoyed that everyone. Check out powersuit.com and we
will catch you next time. Bye.
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