April 27, 2026 • 33 mins
Nat and Kristen tackle the lost art of starting a conversation - why we've all gotten terrible at it (thanks, Zoom), and how to stop defaulting to ‘what do you do?’ at every networking event. From the situational observation trick to the ‘gift opener’ technique, they share practical openers for networking events, random everyday bumps, and those awkward meeting icebreakers that nobody wants to call icebreakers. Plus: why ChatGPT's conversation starters are absolutely terrible and what vegetable you'd bring to a duel.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:07):
Welcome to Power Up, the podcastthat uncovers the unique
challenges women leaders face today.
Join your hosts Nat and Kristen as we dive into the tough topics
and provide actionable insights you can apply right now.
Don't forget to hit subscribe soyou don't miss any episodes.
(00:37):
It's said that people decide whether they like you within the
1st 7 seconds. So the first words you say help
lock that in. So today we're talking about the
art of the opener. And I've wondered recently as
I've been using is that our brains, are they that they are
on autopilot with the opener, are we lazy?
(01:01):
Or is it simply the absence of actually recognizing the
importance of this very important part of communicating?
I think we've probably just gotten out of the habit, haven't
we? And I think the Internet, social
media, Zoom calls, everything makes it a lot easier to avoid
situations where you have to start a conversation with
(01:24):
someone in a casual manner. And I don't think anyone's ever
intuitively found it super easy,but it is a practice, and the
more you practice it, the easierit becomes.
So I suspect we've all somewhat fallen out of the habit and the
world has made it easy for us too, because you can kind of
avoid it. Like, we don't have phone calls
(01:44):
anymore because we'd rather get a text, you know, all that sort
of stuff. Oh, there.
There's a whole industry of memes now of like the Zoom
openers where people are like just going to give everyone a
few more minutes to join. Like we're just, we're, we're
kind of just in these trophy statements now of like just,
we'll just give it a couple moreminutes, everyone.
(02:05):
So in the absence of that, we'vebeen a little bit more
deliberate. Not in the absence of that in
like the reality of our new reality of even Zoom awkwardness
of like how's the weather where you are?
We've been more deliberate aboutthe opener and we've done things
like included music because it'sso awkward when people are
joining and you know, any of ourmini master classes or sessions
(02:26):
and it's like that awkward, likehow you doing and ooh, come off
mute, don't come off mute, actually answer, don't answer.
You know, how can we be deliberate?
So we're experimenting with somestuff including openers, but
there's a few scenarios that we wanted to talk to today.
The first was the networking event.
So like let's talk about like some really easy openers that we
can have in our back pocket for those awkward networking events
(02:47):
or fun networking events. The everyday random bump.
So in the line in the elevator, pre zoom meetings.
So the everyday random bump and then the icebreaker.
So actually this one overlaps with the meeting as well.
But how can we actually set the tone for the vibe that we want
(03:07):
in a meeting? I like it.
This is one thing that it's probably culturally different in
different situations. You've mentioned before there's
certain parts of Europe. I'll let you explain which ones
that find this like death by 1000 cuts.
There are other countries like the US where people are pretty
good at it. Different brain wiring can make
it feel very odd to have. So there's a whole lot of
(03:29):
different things here. The other thing that I found
really interesting as I put in ChatGPT a while ago, being like,
what are some good starting lines?
Thinking, you know, the robots will help and the robots were
terrible because they jumped straight to really cheesy things
that I'm like, yes, I can see that being a part of a workshop
or maybe even a question you asked the third question in, but
(03:49):
I'm not going to go up to someone who I've never met
before and be like, tell me yourfavorite movie.
Like it's just not an opening line.
It's a It's a follow up question.
You know, I can't wait. I can't wait to do another whole
episode on chat bots because I've like obviously just planned
a trip and travelled with one for the last couple weeks, not
with my chat chat bot, but helping me navigate, you know, a
(04:13):
different country and I've got areal love hate relationship.
Like how helpful was that? But equally, how cheesy and
horrible are they? And I don't even understand how
people fall into relationships with them.
So that's like a whole other episode.
This. Is why we need David putting in
tech because that is created by a group for a group that really
likes that. And they probably totally missed
(04:34):
the 70 to 90% of other people who are like, what is this?
I know, but even even just the tone and mannerisms of what you
suggested, how cheesy the thing,it's like, of course, 'cause it
was, they were all designed in the US where they literally are.
People are like, what's keeping you busy or like, hey Chad.
So yeah, not working for me, butsome quick tips.
Some quick tips. Questions are great.
(04:55):
So you'll find that a lot of ouropeners are questions because
they will invite conversation 'cause it's not about yourself
and introducing yourself necessarily in the 1st opener,
but it is about inviting others in and finding out more about
them. Curiosity.
But I found also this effect called the pratfall effect.
And I think because we're chatting about this, there might
(05:15):
be some pressure that people feel as a result of getting the
perfect opener. And what we want to do just very
quickly here is let you off the hook.
The more vulnerable and human you are in an interaction with
an opener, even just expressing like you spilled coffee on your
pants and had to so you know, look at your outfit or like
whatever it is. Like just how you have had a day
(05:38):
and whatever vulnerabilities that you can express about
yourself makes you relatable andmakes you feel human and
immediately disarms the other person.
So this isn't about. Polish caveat to that, though,
don't fall back on the Oh my God, I've ran and lied.
I'm so busy. I'm so stressed like that.
Like there's a difference between vulnerable.
(06:00):
We talk about honesty versus transparency, a little touch of
vulnerable versus coming across like a chaotic means.
Hot mess, hot mess be like just it's OK to be a little bit
vulnerable, but if you're feeling nervous about being
there and you know that that that kind of thing.
So let's let's jump into our situations and starting with the
networking event and the dreadedopener, some of which are the
(06:24):
worst of like, what do you do? Bit lazy, bit transactional,
puts people on the spot because all of a sudden you're like in
pitch mode and you're like, oh, what does this person need to
hear? I don't even, you know, thoughts
on some good openers. Now what have you used?
Well, I'm a huge fan these days,I think because of the work we
do. And it's also a hack for people
who feel a bit nervous at networking events to find
(06:46):
someone else who's on their own.And I did this the other day.
I went to an event and there wasa woman there who was sitting
and looking at her phone or standing right to the side
looking at her phone. And all her body language
indicated she was really nervous.
She felt uncomfortable. And so I went over and said, oh,
did you turn up on your own likeme?
And she went and you just saw this look of relief on her face.
(07:07):
And I was like, come over and chat to some friends I've made.
And it was just a really easy way to welcome her in and make a
connection without, I don't know, saying what's your.
Favorite colour or whatever else?
Like how immediately you are like I know how you feel because
I've just been through that, youknow, half an hour ago I showed
(07:28):
up on myself. So the like me immediately
disarms and goes, I relate to exactly how you're feeling right
now. So come on, come on.
I like it. I like it.
You know, one of the ones that Ienjoy for the bustings when
people are in circles and you dorock up to an event is the may
I, may I join you is 1. And I use that very deliberately
(07:51):
in those words, you come up witha natural one that works for
you. But because people, someone came
and did that to me and it immediately opened up the circle
and included this person. It felt polite, but not awkward.
And it was like a genuine show of like, I'm interested in
joining in on the conversation and not lurking.
So that's a that's a favorite ofmine.
(08:13):
I also feel now I've come aroundto small talk and that it is
just bread crumbing towards something interesting.
I'm not super against like I don't love a trope, but I'm also
quite comfortable with somethingthat's not the most because I
think sometimes interesting questions can feel quite
contrived. So I I've called it situational
observation, but I rely on this one quite a lot where like the
(08:36):
same event I was at. It was in this beautiful hotel
and it was a really interesting room and just commenting on
something like, oh, have you been to any other events here?
I didn't realize they did this or whoa, look at the art around
here, wonder where they got it from or whatever it is just from
the room can feel like it's. Clearly.
You've just thought of it because you're in the room, but
in basically every single room or situation, there'll be some
(08:59):
context clue. That is a really easy thing to
raise. It could be the loudness of the
room. It could be the food that
they've offered. It could be, you know, what kind
of drink would you like? I'll go, let's go grab 1.
Whatever it is, it's a really nice fall back without feeling
contrived. But what you've done there is
you've almost invited storytelling that they can what
(09:22):
is it? Choose your own adventure
storytelling. Choose your is your own reply
because they can choose to comment on.
Oh yeah, we had an event last year and talk about the event
that they'd attended or I haven't been, but they can
effectively choose the next stage, which then you can kind
of deep dive in a few different areas.
So I love that you've invited that open-ended kind of
(09:44):
storytelling thing. I like 1.
I often use this with and try not to do it with like religion
or politics, but you know, I canget get into trouble with with
that A. Little bit but.
With kind of what's called a gift opener and it's leading
with a piece of advice or a tip or a topic that I've heard from
(10:05):
another kind of grouping or maybe while I was grabbing a
drink. And so, or it might even make it
up. Like for example, it might be a
local airline or a national airline is put on a sale.
So it might be like, oh, I've heard, I've just heard someone
mentioned that bloody blah is having a sale on flights, if
(10:26):
that's relevant to you, because that again, opens conversation
around that particular topic if they've traveled or where
they've been or want to go. But it could equally be
something about, you know, you're going to an event, a
comedy event this week. It could be about that I've just
heard someone so and so's comingto town or this thing is coming
(10:47):
up. If that's relevant to you,
you're leaving it a little bit open-ended to see where people
kind of pick up on that string. I love that because I think
that's another one where we often talk about, talk about
positive, interesting things. And often there is a
conversation you've just come out of that you're like, wow,
that person over there was so interesting.
They did X or we were talking about this and just a, it brings
(11:09):
people in. But also it's a really positive
contribution, which I think immediately when you talk about
how small amount of time we havefor people to choose whether
they like us, bringing that energy, I think is a really easy
way to position yourself as a open, engaged, curious person.
(11:29):
So this is kind of there's not so much prep involved, although
there are some standard, what isit formulas like in terms of
chatting about the event or conversations you've overheard
or relating to someone's, you know, situationally.
Like you said, you're observing something, some someone and
you're putting yourselves in their shoes as well or relating,
(11:52):
you know, becoming relatable andasking them about it.
So it's not actually about prepping, but it's about being
ready to ask a question. I think that's our invitation
when it comes to networking is just be ready to observe, to
pick up on cues and to just go for it and try a few different
things and ask some questions. I love that.
So I feel like if we were to summarize those sort of broad
approaches, it is a situational observation, like what's
(12:16):
happening in the room, what's what have you noticed?
Who have you spoken to somethingthat you've sort of experienced?
Second one would be more of a I'm going to ask about you.
So you know, why are you here? Did you turn up on your own?
What else are you up to? You know, something like that.
So it's sort of those two broad areas.
(12:38):
The final one, and I think this will take us over to the second
category of when we need to havethese intros of everyday random
bumps. I also like I've called it
current events because there's often something happening in the
world. So like I was thinking back over
the last couple of weeks, I'm often on Zoom calls to talking
to people for the very first time.
(12:58):
And I'm like, how does that? How did they often start?
And it's somewhat you and Zoom don't always have that
situational observation, but youare sometimes networking via
Zoom calls and you're connected one-on-one.
So I feel like there's two things that I do, 1 is current
events and the other one is sharing something which sort of
goes against the ask a question rule, but I feel like it works.
(13:18):
So I often find like we're just we're recording this on a
Monday. What did you get up into them in
the weekend? There's often like a whole bunch
of stuff in New Zealand, it's been school holidays.
So your kids heading back to school today, What were you
doing? The school holidays?
We are literally in the the whole city we live in is flooded
at the moment. So how's your house has been
(13:39):
impacted? Obviously there will be no
surprise to anyone that I got obsessed with the recent moon
trip. Oh my gosh.
Have you been watching that? So having that sort of current
events and it doesn't have to beweather related, although
sometimes these days weather events are so big, sometimes a
good reason. But yeah, some other sort of
random current events that are keeping you interested and it's
(14:02):
an easy thing to raise as and I normally do.
Yeah, I love, I love. What you did though, again with
the question, like with the moonthing, I've been watching it.
I think an such an easy extension of if you got the
opportunity, would you go because wouldn't that create an
interesting because some people wouldn't, some people wouldn't,
you know, it'd create some interesting, interesting combo
(14:23):
there. I love it and I'll.
Often start like, because I keepthinking about the first line
and I'll often start with something like, oh, you've
really interrupted me being obsessed about the moon to get
on, you know, like something that's just like a little bit of
a joke, but like a way of introducing a current event that
I'm obsessed with. Or Oh my gosh, I'm so stuck in
this Netflix series at the moment.
(14:43):
I had to tear myself away to come to this or whatever it is
that just sort of introduces it in a natural way that then opens
up that question, yes. Love it.
OK, so now we are moving into the everyday random bump and
here we are in the elevator soaking wet because, you know,
we are in Wellington and we're going.
How about that weather again? Let's talk about let's talk
(15:07):
about some alternatives with that random bump.
But some tips on this one is to just because we're staring down
at our phones or out the window or down at our hands, wherever
that might be, does not mean that the people do not want to
connect. Because actually research has
shown that people want to connect more than they let on.
(15:28):
So I think even a 62nd interaction in a queue and a
line, you know, at the school pickup or in an elevator or
whatever at the gym can really lift someone's mood and be super
meaningful. And for some, it can be the
first human connection they've had that day and or for some
(15:49):
time. So don't assume that people
don't want to connect. You can kind of feel that out
very quickly in that 60 seconds that you might have.
But let's talk about some some options here.
OK, I've got a couple. I was thinking we actually had
this wonderful woman over for dinner on Saturday night and we
actually met her camper vanning a couple of weeks ago up north.
(16:12):
And the way we met is we were all outside individually camping
and we happened to be in front of a beautiful view.
And so I can't remember who did it said something about like
gosh, worst place to be right now aren't there or something.
And then we got to chatting. We ended up chatting all night
and then next minute we're on a group chat.
And now every time someones in the area, apparently we hang
(16:33):
out. And I think again, it's just
that little nudge about and I always think keep it positive.
Something that's really like, and the other one I was thinking
about is I go to a local cafe quite a lot because I like to
remove decisions from my brain. And so I'm just like, these are
all my meetings here. But what I've also noticed the
benefit of this cafe is everyoneseems to go there.
(16:54):
So if I bump into someone, I'm like, I always come here because
I bump into people I know because there's always so many
people I know here. Is this your go to meeting place
too or something? That's just like a really easy
starting point. Yes, I am a fan of compliment
plus question and both of us have used this before and I
(17:14):
think that you can ultimately compliment.
Well, I know that you can compliment every single person
on something. It might be their handbag, it
might be their earrings, it might be their hair, it might be
their tie, it might be whatever their shoes and I think a
genuine compliment. And then a question, where did
you or where might I find that? Would love to, you know, tips on
(17:37):
that. That is the best kind of 62nd
interaction that can, you know, start something just a really
quick kind of rabbit hole and and then in and out and then
you're done. I agree.
I also think the joy of a randombump in is often you're going
somewhere. So I'll often say, where are you
(17:58):
off to or where are you coming from or what have you been up
to? Because you're sort of going or
coming from somewhere. And it often opens up a whole
bunch of conversations as well around, I don't know, I'm just
coming from this and I've been out shopping.
Oh, what were you looking for? The final one for me is again,
it's observations, but it's, well, actually that's true
observations where it's like if they're ordering a coffee,
(18:21):
what's their coffee order? What led them to that?
You know, like just really paying attention to the small
things people do and getting curious about how do they have a
like someone's the other day said, should we get a sneaky
muffin as well? And I was like, great, you know,
like just a little thing that's like a something to hook onto
that's situationally just there.It's not hard to see it if
(18:44):
you're paying attention. Yeah, some rules for this one,
keep it light. Like this isn't about going deep
and heavy. You might literally just have,
you know, between 30 and 90 seconds in passing and human
connection. So just keep it light and second
kind of like make it about them,which is why I usually focus on
something I might be able to compliment or or, you know,
(19:06):
query about, but somehow make itabout them as well.
Like if, if you've. Yeah.
How do you feel? Because this one sort of goes
against that rule, but it's a tactic that I use all the time.
So let's say even with the compliment is almost reversing
it and saying, do you like my bag?
I just got this. I just picked up this bag or I
said the other day I had a foster dog for one day and I was
(19:26):
like, oh, excuse me, if there's a dog I'm fostering and I've
just picked it up. So just offering a bit of
information about yourself that they can then ask a question
about sometimes as an easy way to start rather if you're stuck
for like, why are you ordering that coffee?
More like a I'm ordering this coffee because like, oh, this is
my go to on a sunny day. So I'm going to pick this up.
(19:48):
Just adding a little bit to something that you're doing
about you to give them somethingto hook into.
I think if you've had someone that is confident in
conversation, I think that's brilliant because they will then
pick up on that cue and ask morequestions.
And if you've got someone that doesn't know how to respond?
(20:09):
This is the weirdest example, but yesterday I was filling up
my water bottle at a airport water fountain and it was you
know how you can go to really nice water fountains and put
your bottle in and it comes the stream comes down from the top,
right? Like, yeah, great.
This one was like an old school like child's public elementary
school 1 where? Oh yeah, the tiny little
(20:31):
dribble. Comes down the dribble and
you've got the bottle and you'reawkward.
And it was interesting, the person that came up to me and
she made the statement about it and that she was frustrated
about it and thinking about it now, I was intrigued with who
she was. She had an accent.
I was curious about, you know, where she was traveling from and
what she's, you know, what's herstory.
(20:52):
But the, the that statement closed it down.
And I know it's weird, but it like the only thing I could be
is like, yeah, how frustrating. And then we just walked away and
never talked again and. I think, though, that's two
things. One is that she didn't say in an
open way. And secondly, she started
negatively. Whereas if she'd come and says,
(21:13):
Oh my God, I haven't seen one ofthese since I was at school.
I thought that updated them all by now.
You start to go, oh, yeah, we used to have these at school or
whatever it might be. Whereas having sort of a closed
statement that also skews negative, you do end up going,
huh. I also feel like you're probably
in a situation, you say that you've been traveling for a
while, so you were probably not thinking like, how do I answer
(21:35):
this? But I do, I would have, you're
right. And you know what, she probably
wasn't looking, you know, for a connection, but what she was
because she made a she actually made took the time.
I think what would have improvedit is a question that would have
improved it. It would have been a slightly
more open-ended and then and even.
Something as silly as how do youget your water into the bottle
from this thing and you know, like it's.
(21:56):
Just the angle, all about the angle, Yeah.
Anyway, OK, let's move on to theicebreaker.
That's been something that's a little bit top of mind, given
that we are hanging out with groups of people that either
know one another a little bit ordon't know one another at all.
So you want to create environments at the start of
meetings or sessions, events, whatever that might be, that
(22:18):
isn't competitive, that isn't overly personal, that doesn't
add a huge amount of pressure onpeople while you're going
around. And like, the person's heart's
beating and going, Oh my goodness, I need to, you know,
come up with the best answer. It's not meant to add stress,
but it's meant to sit. Is that the scene you know?
Friend here. You're like, how might I?
(22:39):
How might I taught that? But this is yeah.
So the things like, you know, it's tell a fun fact about
yourself that is such a competitive.
You've got to come up with something interesting.
You know, you've got to share something that might be like
personal and Oh my gosh, talk about being put on the spot with
like fun fact about yourself or animal.
(23:00):
I don't know, like, like, let's do away with that one.
If you're an animal, which one were you?
So let let's talk about what makes a good icebreaker, not
your thoughts on what makes a good icebreaker.
Obviously never call it an icebreaker.
As soon as you say icebreaker, people are going to go into
defensive mode, so just introduce the question without
labeling it as icebreaker. I also feel like the ingredients
(23:23):
of a good icebreaker as it should be something people
immediately know the answer to. I think like anything that
really makes you have to think makes the stakes higher and if
there's a right or wrong answer,obviously and things like that,
we're like that might trigger competitiveness in you for
others that might contribute trigger fear of failure that I
don't have anything interesting about me and now I'm spiraling
down and I'm doing, you know, whatever else.
(23:46):
Also, I think it has to be a moment to connect and kind of in
my opinion, humor is best like when it's a totally non like
it's a totally non big event, but it's something that people
might feel really strongly about.
I think you've got to know here about pineapple on pizza.
So that's a really great exampleof people have a very strong
(24:07):
opinion one way or the other, but it really doesn't matter.
So it's like, I know, yes, you know, I like that one.
That's the what's your take on? And then a totally irrelevant
topic. But think of something that can
be polarizing but is like silly polarizing, you know, like the
pineapple on pizza or like I, I don't know, try again, try and
keep it non play political, you know, that that kind of thing
(24:31):
that yeah, it is. True, And I suppose it depends
on the situation because one of my favorite all time ones,
there's a couple, but one was what is your, is it mediocre
superpower? And it was so funny.
I remember a woman who said I can stop my kids with just one
single glare. And there were other people who
had, I don't know, there's just so many funny things.
(24:53):
And I think adding the mediocre at the pot at the start stopped
it from feeling like it had to be really good.
Like the goal was to have it be really silly.
And yeah, so I sometimes find maybe if it's in a group where
you've picked that they're kind of quite comfortable
contributing. Yeah.
Like then I also think introverts could quite easily
say I can sit at home alone without having to talk to
(25:15):
someone for like, a week, and I'll be fine.
That's a superpower. So I do sometimes find those
ones quite good, even though they do put people on the spot a
little bit. There's not an immediate obvious
answer. You have to think a little bit,
but the payoff can be exceptional for those.
I think those are really revealing for people that that
you know something a little bit about like the things of like
(25:37):
mediocre superpower, what you ate for breakfast or you know,
'cause people just creates A laughter and or lightness and
conversation of people you somewhat already know.
One that we tried recently, which one actually we use
consistently is what did you want to be when you grow up?
We find that one really fun because the answers are amazing.
(25:58):
And a more recent one that we used, which is like hilarious,
is what vegetable would you bring to a duel?
Because that is like hilarious. Too often people bring their
like their nonas or their uncleslike parsnips into it and it's
just so good. You put that on LinkedIn.
So if you don't already follow us on LinkedIn, go have a cheek
because it was quite, quite a vigorous discussion and it was
some very funny. And you could see, and I think
(26:20):
that's the joy of an icebreaker is you see personalities shine
through like someone was like, well, you can use a carrot
because you can sharpen it and then someone else is like, but a
pumpkin. I could throw in a heavyweight
and and then. There was just like the.
Rationale behind them were like,yeah, like someone else.
I think it's, or maybe I see another one like rotting
(26:41):
tomatoes because no one's to be,like, covered in rotting
tomatoes. And it's disgusting.
So they'll leave and you just get a little taste of someone's
personality, which is as much asIce Breakers have been overused
and they feel cheesy. And this would be my
encouragement to anyone who feels uncomfortable about Ice
Breakers or thinks they're cheesy.
Recognize that it is a bid for connection and the whole purpose
(27:03):
of it is to make that connection.
And it means that when you go into your breakout rooms or when
you go out for morning tea, you will know something about this
person that makes your small talk even easier.
So don't resist them because they actually are an incredible
tool. But we just all have this, like
not all of us, but a lot of people have this like so cheesy
and it's like, but the joy of them is they will give you a
(27:24):
CHEAT SHEET to connect with someone and that is a dream.
That is a real gift. Or they even just set the tone
right, like there's a bit of lightness of people you're
coming in from different arenas and contacts and moods.
And yeah, I think it kind of resets A vibe really.
(27:46):
So feel free to try a few Outletus know what your favorite
icebreaker Thou shall not be named Icebreaker is because we
would love a few more. We'd love a few more ideas.
Yeah, I think, I think icebreakers are fun.
I actually, I think I've mentioned this.
I go to treading with a couple of friends who are kind of
friends and friends and loose friends.
(28:06):
And they have a card on the sideof the pool that they've created
that's laminated, that has some icebreaker questions.
And they're really cool because you go into the pool, everyone
sort of loosely knows each otherenough to say hi, which is
probably often the case when youare in a meeting or a workshop
or something, but we don't know each other super well.
So my favorite one in this is what has been something you've
(28:27):
been reading or listening to recently that you really liked?
And it could be anything. And gosh, that sparked so much
conversation. We went down perimenopause.
We went down, what is it not fantasy?
Fantasy romance is a genre that's coming out.
And then it was like people weredigging into why they feel
embarrassed about acknowledging that.
(28:48):
And then other people were like,I didn't read enough and and it
just sparked this whole conversation.
They ended up taking an hour just from asking that question.
And we learned so much about each other.
So I do think they can be amazing sometimes for just
having a great conversation withpeople, which is why I think
it's useful to have a couple in your pocket.
Or maybe not the first question you ask in a networking event
when you bump into someone, but maybe like 3 or 4 questions
(29:10):
down. Have a couple that are just like
really open. Like if someone says are you
reading anything interesting at the moment?
I'm looking for a new book recommendation or something
that's not weird to ask, but it really does spark something.
I agree. So as a recap, please this week,
take it upon yourself to connectwith another human.
It could be that you're the one that joins a zoom call early.
(29:31):
Just start asking a question, you know, what city were you
born in? Or it it could be just even be
in the chat and other people canjoin in as they join those
meetings and try some new thingsout.
Because it really is about connecting, finding, you know,
little brief conversations in a massively impersonal digital
(29:52):
world. And just give it a go.
Don't be too much pressure. Don't put too much pressure on
yourself. Just get a little bit curious
and remember that questions really do you know, forge the
way to really interesting new and stronger connection.
And I would suggest don't have agoal with this.
(30:13):
So don't think oh I need to do this to finish with like making
a LinkedIn connection or anything.
So just use that means as the end like it is just about
practicing small chat. And secondly, I would say
practice it in low stakes environment.
So I will always, not always, but most of the time I'll talk
to an Uber driver and, and practice there.
I will check to the person I'm ordering from at a cafe or a
(30:35):
restaurant, practice it there. And I think it is about actually
building up a practice of starting conversations with
people. And the more you do it, the
easier it gets and the less awkward it feels and the more
you've just got all these different options in your bank
and you go with it. So don't just assume it's only
for networking events and for work colleagues.
Practice everywhere and you'll find it becomes easier
(30:57):
everywhere. Let us know your favorite ones
as well, because we're always open to asking some new
questions. Check us out on powersuit.com.
Drop into any of our social accounts.
We'd love to say hello and we'llcatch you all next time.
Before we go though, I have a ice breaker question for you.
(31:18):
How was your trip, Kristen? Just come back from Japan.
How was your trip, Kristen? I'm going to, I'm going to
summarize it as fun and really interesting.
Obviously, I did loads of research while I was away.
I was in Japan, like the whole world is in Japan.
I know there's memes like no one's anywhere because
everyone's in Japan. But it was just lots of fun,
lots of laughs with the kids. I spent like more time with Kyle
(31:40):
than I have in many a year. Thank goodness we still like
each other. I was thinking about that too.
I was like, Oh my gosh, like, thank goodness for that.
Like I can't imagine not liking your partner once your kids are
raised and like it happens, you know, it's a thing.
I think divorce spikes around our life stage, but we did
really well, which is great. So no divorce here.
(32:03):
I. Have no I have no doubt in the
fishing. How's the fishing?
Fishing. All I saw is Kyle looking at
fish, talking about fish, talking to people about fish.
I'm sick of talking at fish. I'm sick of talking about the
fish every chance he could. You know, if he saw people
fishing, he'd be right in there having good conversations.
He'd be bringing up photos, you know, who's is bigger, that kind
(32:24):
of thing. So.
Great small chat from Kyle. I actually have done that
overseas as well, especially because you'll have noticed
different countries have different fish and so I'm often
getting out photos of New Zealand fish.
I mean like this is what we catch when we go out.
Exactly. My sway of like connecting.
I'm with Kyle. He was.
He had it out. He was like, oh, with the sushi
chefs, he was like, oh, this is the one, this is our white bait.
(32:46):
And and then we were just so, you know, the kids and I oh
gosh, here he goes again. But you're right, that was a
small, that was the connection thing on something that he was
interested with because it created learning as well.
But yeah, we had to go to the big tuna auction where they
auction like tuna for a million dollars.
And yeah, anyway, lots of talking about fish having a
little break over here. Kristen Japanese Bistro Amazing.
(33:10):
That's great, thanks for asking.Okay everyone, we'll catch you
all next time. Bye.
Welcome to Power Up, the podcastthat uncovers the unique
challenges women leaders face today.
Join your hosts Nat and Kristen as we dive into the tough topics
and provide actionable insights you can apply right now.
Don't forget to hit subscribe soyou don't miss any episodes.
(00:37):
It's said that people decide whether they like you within the
1st 7 seconds. So the first words you say help
lock that in. So today we're talking about the
art of the opener. And I've wondered recently as
I've been using is that our brains, are they that they are
on autopilot with the opener, are we lazy?
(01:01):
Or is it simply the absence of actually recognizing the
importance of this very important part of communicating?
I think we've probably just gotten out of the habit, haven't
we? And I think the Internet, social
media, Zoom calls, everything makes it a lot easier to avoid
situations where you have to start a conversation with
(01:24):
someone in a casual manner. And I don't think anyone's ever
intuitively found it super easy,but it is a practice, and the
more you practice it, the easierit becomes.
So I suspect we've all somewhat fallen out of the habit and the
world has made it easy for us too, because you can kind of
avoid it. Like, we don't have phone calls
(01:44):
anymore because we'd rather get a text, you know, all that sort
of stuff. Oh, there.
There's a whole industry of memes now of like the Zoom
openers where people are like just going to give everyone a
few more minutes to join. Like we're just, we're, we're
kind of just in these trophy statements now of like just,
we'll just give it a couple moreminutes, everyone.
(02:05):
So in the absence of that, we'vebeen a little bit more
deliberate. Not in the absence of that in
like the reality of our new reality of even Zoom awkwardness
of like how's the weather where you are?
We've been more deliberate aboutthe opener and we've done things
like included music because it'sso awkward when people are
joining and you know, any of ourmini master classes or sessions
(02:26):
and it's like that awkward, likehow you doing and ooh, come off
mute, don't come off mute, actually answer, don't answer.
You know, how can we be deliberate?
So we're experimenting with somestuff including openers, but
there's a few scenarios that we wanted to talk to today.
The first was the networking event.
So like let's talk about like some really easy openers that we
can have in our back pocket for those awkward networking events
(02:47):
or fun networking events. The everyday random bump.
So in the line in the elevator, pre zoom meetings.
So the everyday random bump and then the icebreaker.
So actually this one overlaps with the meeting as well.
But how can we actually set the tone for the vibe that we want
(03:07):
in a meeting? I like it.
This is one thing that it's probably culturally different in
different situations. You've mentioned before there's
certain parts of Europe. I'll let you explain which ones
that find this like death by 1000 cuts.
There are other countries like the US where people are pretty
good at it. Different brain wiring can make
it feel very odd to have. So there's a whole lot of
(03:29):
different things here. The other thing that I found
really interesting as I put in ChatGPT a while ago, being like,
what are some good starting lines?
Thinking, you know, the robots will help and the robots were
terrible because they jumped straight to really cheesy things
that I'm like, yes, I can see that being a part of a workshop
or maybe even a question you asked the third question in, but
(03:49):
I'm not going to go up to someone who I've never met
before and be like, tell me yourfavorite movie.
Like it's just not an opening line.
It's a It's a follow up question.
You know, I can't wait. I can't wait to do another whole
episode on chat bots because I've like obviously just planned
a trip and travelled with one for the last couple weeks, not
with my chat chat bot, but helping me navigate, you know, a
(04:13):
different country and I've got areal love hate relationship.
Like how helpful was that? But equally, how cheesy and
horrible are they? And I don't even understand how
people fall into relationships with them.
So that's like a whole other episode.
This. Is why we need David putting in
tech because that is created by a group for a group that really
likes that. And they probably totally missed
(04:34):
the 70 to 90% of other people who are like, what is this?
I know, but even even just the tone and mannerisms of what you
suggested, how cheesy the thing,it's like, of course, 'cause it
was, they were all designed in the US where they literally are.
People are like, what's keeping you busy or like, hey Chad.
So yeah, not working for me, butsome quick tips.
Some quick tips. Questions are great.
(04:55):
So you'll find that a lot of ouropeners are questions because
they will invite conversation 'cause it's not about yourself
and introducing yourself necessarily in the 1st opener,
but it is about inviting others in and finding out more about
them. Curiosity.
But I found also this effect called the pratfall effect.
And I think because we're chatting about this, there might
(05:15):
be some pressure that people feel as a result of getting the
perfect opener. And what we want to do just very
quickly here is let you off the hook.
The more vulnerable and human you are in an interaction with
an opener, even just expressing like you spilled coffee on your
pants and had to so you know, look at your outfit or like
whatever it is. Like just how you have had a day
(05:38):
and whatever vulnerabilities that you can express about
yourself makes you relatable andmakes you feel human and
immediately disarms the other person.
So this isn't about. Polish caveat to that, though,
don't fall back on the Oh my God, I've ran and lied.
I'm so busy. I'm so stressed like that.
Like there's a difference between vulnerable.
(06:00):
We talk about honesty versus transparency, a little touch of
vulnerable versus coming across like a chaotic means.
Hot mess, hot mess be like just it's OK to be a little bit
vulnerable, but if you're feeling nervous about being
there and you know that that that kind of thing.
So let's let's jump into our situations and starting with the
networking event and the dreadedopener, some of which are the
(06:24):
worst of like, what do you do? Bit lazy, bit transactional,
puts people on the spot because all of a sudden you're like in
pitch mode and you're like, oh, what does this person need to
hear? I don't even, you know, thoughts
on some good openers. Now what have you used?
Well, I'm a huge fan these days,I think because of the work we
do. And it's also a hack for people
who feel a bit nervous at networking events to find
(06:46):
someone else who's on their own.And I did this the other day.
I went to an event and there wasa woman there who was sitting
and looking at her phone or standing right to the side
looking at her phone. And all her body language
indicated she was really nervous.
She felt uncomfortable. And so I went over and said, oh,
did you turn up on your own likeme?
And she went and you just saw this look of relief on her face.
(07:07):
And I was like, come over and chat to some friends I've made.
And it was just a really easy way to welcome her in and make a
connection without, I don't know, saying what's your.
Favorite colour or whatever else?
Like how immediately you are like I know how you feel because
I've just been through that, youknow, half an hour ago I showed
(07:28):
up on myself. So the like me immediately
disarms and goes, I relate to exactly how you're feeling right
now. So come on, come on.
I like it. I like it.
You know, one of the ones that Ienjoy for the bustings when
people are in circles and you dorock up to an event is the may
I, may I join you is 1. And I use that very deliberately
(07:51):
in those words, you come up witha natural one that works for
you. But because people, someone came
and did that to me and it immediately opened up the circle
and included this person. It felt polite, but not awkward.
And it was like a genuine show of like, I'm interested in
joining in on the conversation and not lurking.
So that's a that's a favorite ofmine.
(08:13):
I also feel now I've come aroundto small talk and that it is
just bread crumbing towards something interesting.
I'm not super against like I don't love a trope, but I'm also
quite comfortable with somethingthat's not the most because I
think sometimes interesting questions can feel quite
contrived. So I I've called it situational
observation, but I rely on this one quite a lot where like the
(08:36):
same event I was at. It was in this beautiful hotel
and it was a really interesting room and just commenting on
something like, oh, have you been to any other events here?
I didn't realize they did this or whoa, look at the art around
here, wonder where they got it from or whatever it is just from
the room can feel like it's. Clearly.
You've just thought of it because you're in the room, but
in basically every single room or situation, there'll be some
(08:59):
context clue. That is a really easy thing to
raise. It could be the loudness of the
room. It could be the food that
they've offered. It could be, you know, what kind
of drink would you like? I'll go, let's go grab 1.
Whatever it is, it's a really nice fall back without feeling
contrived. But what you've done there is
you've almost invited storytelling that they can what
(09:22):
is it? Choose your own adventure
storytelling. Choose your is your own reply
because they can choose to comment on.
Oh yeah, we had an event last year and talk about the event
that they'd attended or I haven't been, but they can
effectively choose the next stage, which then you can kind
of deep dive in a few different areas.
So I love that you've invited that open-ended kind of
(09:44):
storytelling thing. I like 1.
I often use this with and try not to do it with like religion
or politics, but you know, I canget get into trouble with with
that A. Little bit but.
With kind of what's called a gift opener and it's leading
with a piece of advice or a tip or a topic that I've heard from
(10:05):
another kind of grouping or maybe while I was grabbing a
drink. And so, or it might even make it
up. Like for example, it might be a
local airline or a national airline is put on a sale.
So it might be like, oh, I've heard, I've just heard someone
mentioned that bloody blah is having a sale on flights, if
(10:26):
that's relevant to you, because that again, opens conversation
around that particular topic if they've traveled or where
they've been or want to go. But it could equally be
something about, you know, you're going to an event, a
comedy event this week. It could be about that I've just
heard someone so and so's comingto town or this thing is coming
(10:47):
up. If that's relevant to you,
you're leaving it a little bit open-ended to see where people
kind of pick up on that string. I love that because I think
that's another one where we often talk about, talk about
positive, interesting things. And often there is a
conversation you've just come out of that you're like, wow,
that person over there was so interesting.
They did X or we were talking about this and just a, it brings
(11:09):
people in. But also it's a really positive
contribution, which I think immediately when you talk about
how small amount of time we havefor people to choose whether
they like us, bringing that energy, I think is a really easy
way to position yourself as a open, engaged, curious person.
(11:29):
So this is kind of there's not so much prep involved, although
there are some standard, what isit formulas like in terms of
chatting about the event or conversations you've overheard
or relating to someone's, you know, situationally.
Like you said, you're observing something, some someone and
you're putting yourselves in their shoes as well or relating,
(11:52):
you know, becoming relatable andasking them about it.
So it's not actually about prepping, but it's about being
ready to ask a question. I think that's our invitation
when it comes to networking is just be ready to observe, to
pick up on cues and to just go for it and try a few different
things and ask some questions. I love that.
So I feel like if we were to summarize those sort of broad
approaches, it is a situational observation, like what's
(12:16):
happening in the room, what's what have you noticed?
Who have you spoken to somethingthat you've sort of experienced?
Second one would be more of a I'm going to ask about you.
So you know, why are you here? Did you turn up on your own?
What else are you up to? You know, something like that.
So it's sort of those two broad areas.
(12:38):
The final one, and I think this will take us over to the second
category of when we need to havethese intros of everyday random
bumps. I also like I've called it
current events because there's often something happening in the
world. So like I was thinking back over
the last couple of weeks, I'm often on Zoom calls to talking
to people for the very first time.
(12:58):
And I'm like, how does that? How did they often start?
And it's somewhat you and Zoom don't always have that
situational observation, but youare sometimes networking via
Zoom calls and you're connected one-on-one.
So I feel like there's two things that I do, 1 is current
events and the other one is sharing something which sort of
goes against the ask a question rule, but I feel like it works.
(13:18):
So I often find like we're just we're recording this on a
Monday. What did you get up into them in
the weekend? There's often like a whole bunch
of stuff in New Zealand, it's been school holidays.
So your kids heading back to school today, What were you
doing? The school holidays?
We are literally in the the whole city we live in is flooded
at the moment. So how's your house has been
(13:39):
impacted? Obviously there will be no
surprise to anyone that I got obsessed with the recent moon
trip. Oh my gosh.
Have you been watching that? So having that sort of current
events and it doesn't have to beweather related, although
sometimes these days weather events are so big, sometimes a
good reason. But yeah, some other sort of
random current events that are keeping you interested and it's
(14:02):
an easy thing to raise as and I normally do.
Yeah, I love, I love. What you did though, again with
the question, like with the moonthing, I've been watching it.
I think an such an easy extension of if you got the
opportunity, would you go because wouldn't that create an
interesting because some people wouldn't, some people wouldn't,
you know, it'd create some interesting, interesting combo
(14:23):
there. I love it and I'll.
Often start like, because I keepthinking about the first line
and I'll often start with something like, oh, you've
really interrupted me being obsessed about the moon to get
on, you know, like something that's just like a little bit of
a joke, but like a way of introducing a current event that
I'm obsessed with. Or Oh my gosh, I'm so stuck in
this Netflix series at the moment.
(14:43):
I had to tear myself away to come to this or whatever it is
that just sort of introduces it in a natural way that then opens
up that question, yes. Love it.
OK, so now we are moving into the everyday random bump and
here we are in the elevator soaking wet because, you know,
we are in Wellington and we're going.
How about that weather again? Let's talk about let's talk
(15:07):
about some alternatives with that random bump.
But some tips on this one is to just because we're staring down
at our phones or out the window or down at our hands, wherever
that might be, does not mean that the people do not want to
connect. Because actually research has
shown that people want to connect more than they let on.
(15:28):
So I think even a 62nd interaction in a queue and a
line, you know, at the school pickup or in an elevator or
whatever at the gym can really lift someone's mood and be super
meaningful. And for some, it can be the
first human connection they've had that day and or for some
(15:49):
time. So don't assume that people
don't want to connect. You can kind of feel that out
very quickly in that 60 seconds that you might have.
But let's talk about some some options here.
OK, I've got a couple. I was thinking we actually had
this wonderful woman over for dinner on Saturday night and we
actually met her camper vanning a couple of weeks ago up north.
(16:12):
And the way we met is we were all outside individually camping
and we happened to be in front of a beautiful view.
And so I can't remember who did it said something about like
gosh, worst place to be right now aren't there or something.
And then we got to chatting. We ended up chatting all night
and then next minute we're on a group chat.
And now every time someones in the area, apparently we hang
(16:33):
out. And I think again, it's just
that little nudge about and I always think keep it positive.
Something that's really like, and the other one I was thinking
about is I go to a local cafe quite a lot because I like to
remove decisions from my brain. And so I'm just like, these are
all my meetings here. But what I've also noticed the
benefit of this cafe is everyoneseems to go there.
(16:54):
So if I bump into someone, I'm like, I always come here because
I bump into people I know because there's always so many
people I know here. Is this your go to meeting place
too or something? That's just like a really easy
starting point. Yes, I am a fan of compliment
plus question and both of us have used this before and I
(17:14):
think that you can ultimately compliment.
Well, I know that you can compliment every single person
on something. It might be their handbag, it
might be their earrings, it might be their hair, it might be
their tie, it might be whatever their shoes and I think a
genuine compliment. And then a question, where did
you or where might I find that? Would love to, you know, tips on
(17:37):
that. That is the best kind of 62nd
interaction that can, you know, start something just a really
quick kind of rabbit hole and and then in and out and then
you're done. I agree.
I also think the joy of a randombump in is often you're going
somewhere. So I'll often say, where are you
(17:58):
off to or where are you coming from or what have you been up
to? Because you're sort of going or
coming from somewhere. And it often opens up a whole
bunch of conversations as well around, I don't know, I'm just
coming from this and I've been out shopping.
Oh, what were you looking for? The final one for me is again,
it's observations, but it's, well, actually that's true
observations where it's like if they're ordering a coffee,
(18:21):
what's their coffee order? What led them to that?
You know, like just really paying attention to the small
things people do and getting curious about how do they have a
like someone's the other day said, should we get a sneaky
muffin as well? And I was like, great, you know,
like just a little thing that's like a something to hook onto
that's situationally just there.It's not hard to see it if
(18:44):
you're paying attention. Yeah, some rules for this one,
keep it light. Like this isn't about going deep
and heavy. You might literally just have,
you know, between 30 and 90 seconds in passing and human
connection. So just keep it light and second
kind of like make it about them,which is why I usually focus on
something I might be able to compliment or or, you know,
(19:06):
query about, but somehow make itabout them as well.
Like if, if you've. Yeah.
How do you feel? Because this one sort of goes
against that rule, but it's a tactic that I use all the time.
So let's say even with the compliment is almost reversing
it and saying, do you like my bag?
I just got this. I just picked up this bag or I
said the other day I had a foster dog for one day and I was
(19:26):
like, oh, excuse me, if there's a dog I'm fostering and I've
just picked it up. So just offering a bit of
information about yourself that they can then ask a question
about sometimes as an easy way to start rather if you're stuck
for like, why are you ordering that coffee?
More like a I'm ordering this coffee because like, oh, this is
my go to on a sunny day. So I'm going to pick this up.
(19:48):
Just adding a little bit to something that you're doing
about you to give them somethingto hook into.
I think if you've had someone that is confident in
conversation, I think that's brilliant because they will then
pick up on that cue and ask morequestions.
And if you've got someone that doesn't know how to respond?
(20:09):
This is the weirdest example, but yesterday I was filling up
my water bottle at a airport water fountain and it was you
know how you can go to really nice water fountains and put
your bottle in and it comes the stream comes down from the top,
right? Like, yeah, great.
This one was like an old school like child's public elementary
school 1 where? Oh yeah, the tiny little
(20:31):
dribble. Comes down the dribble and
you've got the bottle and you'reawkward.
And it was interesting, the person that came up to me and
she made the statement about it and that she was frustrated
about it and thinking about it now, I was intrigued with who
she was. She had an accent.
I was curious about, you know, where she was traveling from and
what she's, you know, what's herstory.
(20:52):
But the, the that statement closed it down.
And I know it's weird, but it like the only thing I could be
is like, yeah, how frustrating. And then we just walked away and
never talked again and. I think, though, that's two
things. One is that she didn't say in an
open way. And secondly, she started
negatively. Whereas if she'd come and says,
(21:13):
Oh my God, I haven't seen one ofthese since I was at school.
I thought that updated them all by now.
You start to go, oh, yeah, we used to have these at school or
whatever it might be. Whereas having sort of a closed
statement that also skews negative, you do end up going,
huh. I also feel like you're probably
in a situation, you say that you've been traveling for a
while, so you were probably not thinking like, how do I answer
(21:35):
this? But I do, I would have, you're
right. And you know what, she probably
wasn't looking, you know, for a connection, but what she was
because she made a she actually made took the time.
I think what would have improvedit is a question that would have
improved it. It would have been a slightly
more open-ended and then and even.
Something as silly as how do youget your water into the bottle
from this thing and you know, like it's.
(21:56):
Just the angle, all about the angle, Yeah.
Anyway, OK, let's move on to theicebreaker.
That's been something that's a little bit top of mind, given
that we are hanging out with groups of people that either
know one another a little bit ordon't know one another at all.
So you want to create environments at the start of
meetings or sessions, events, whatever that might be, that
(22:18):
isn't competitive, that isn't overly personal, that doesn't
add a huge amount of pressure onpeople while you're going
around. And like, the person's heart's
beating and going, Oh my goodness, I need to, you know,
come up with the best answer. It's not meant to add stress,
but it's meant to sit. Is that the scene you know?
Friend here. You're like, how might I?
(22:39):
How might I taught that? But this is yeah.
So the things like, you know, it's tell a fun fact about
yourself that is such a competitive.
You've got to come up with something interesting.
You know, you've got to share something that might be like
personal and Oh my gosh, talk about being put on the spot with
like fun fact about yourself or animal.
(23:00):
I don't know, like, like, let's do away with that one.
If you're an animal, which one were you?
So let let's talk about what makes a good icebreaker, not
your thoughts on what makes a good icebreaker.
Obviously never call it an icebreaker.
As soon as you say icebreaker, people are going to go into
defensive mode, so just introduce the question without
labeling it as icebreaker. I also feel like the ingredients
(23:23):
of a good icebreaker as it should be something people
immediately know the answer to. I think like anything that
really makes you have to think makes the stakes higher and if
there's a right or wrong answer,obviously and things like that,
we're like that might trigger competitiveness in you for
others that might contribute trigger fear of failure that I
don't have anything interesting about me and now I'm spiraling
down and I'm doing, you know, whatever else.
(23:46):
Also, I think it has to be a moment to connect and kind of in
my opinion, humor is best like when it's a totally non like
it's a totally non big event, but it's something that people
might feel really strongly about.
I think you've got to know here about pineapple on pizza.
So that's a really great exampleof people have a very strong
(24:07):
opinion one way or the other, but it really doesn't matter.
So it's like, I know, yes, you know, I like that one.
That's the what's your take on? And then a totally irrelevant
topic. But think of something that can
be polarizing but is like silly polarizing, you know, like the
pineapple on pizza or like I, I don't know, try again, try and
keep it non play political, you know, that that kind of thing
(24:31):
that yeah, it is. True, And I suppose it depends
on the situation because one of my favorite all time ones,
there's a couple, but one was what is your, is it mediocre
superpower? And it was so funny.
I remember a woman who said I can stop my kids with just one
single glare. And there were other people who
had, I don't know, there's just so many funny things.
(24:53):
And I think adding the mediocre at the pot at the start stopped
it from feeling like it had to be really good.
Like the goal was to have it be really silly.
And yeah, so I sometimes find maybe if it's in a group where
you've picked that they're kind of quite comfortable
contributing. Yeah.
Like then I also think introverts could quite easily
say I can sit at home alone without having to talk to
(25:15):
someone for like, a week, and I'll be fine.
That's a superpower. So I do sometimes find those
ones quite good, even though they do put people on the spot a
little bit. There's not an immediate obvious
answer. You have to think a little bit,
but the payoff can be exceptional for those.
I think those are really revealing for people that that
you know something a little bit about like the things of like
(25:37):
mediocre superpower, what you ate for breakfast or you know,
'cause people just creates A laughter and or lightness and
conversation of people you somewhat already know.
One that we tried recently, which one actually we use
consistently is what did you want to be when you grow up?
We find that one really fun because the answers are amazing.
(25:58):
And a more recent one that we used, which is like hilarious,
is what vegetable would you bring to a duel?
Because that is like hilarious. Too often people bring their
like their nonas or their uncleslike parsnips into it and it's
just so good. You put that on LinkedIn.
So if you don't already follow us on LinkedIn, go have a cheek
because it was quite, quite a vigorous discussion and it was
some very funny. And you could see, and I think
(26:20):
that's the joy of an icebreaker is you see personalities shine
through like someone was like, well, you can use a carrot
because you can sharpen it and then someone else is like, but a
pumpkin. I could throw in a heavyweight
and and then. There was just like the.
Rationale behind them were like,yeah, like someone else.
I think it's, or maybe I see another one like rotting
(26:41):
tomatoes because no one's to be,like, covered in rotting
tomatoes. And it's disgusting.
So they'll leave and you just get a little taste of someone's
personality, which is as much asIce Breakers have been overused
and they feel cheesy. And this would be my
encouragement to anyone who feels uncomfortable about Ice
Breakers or thinks they're cheesy.
Recognize that it is a bid for connection and the whole purpose
(27:03):
of it is to make that connection.
And it means that when you go into your breakout rooms or when
you go out for morning tea, you will know something about this
person that makes your small talk even easier.
So don't resist them because they actually are an incredible
tool. But we just all have this, like
not all of us, but a lot of people have this like so cheesy
and it's like, but the joy of them is they will give you a
(27:24):
CHEAT SHEET to connect with someone and that is a dream.
That is a real gift. Or they even just set the tone
right, like there's a bit of lightness of people you're
coming in from different arenas and contacts and moods.
And yeah, I think it kind of resets A vibe really.
(27:46):
So feel free to try a few Outletus know what your favorite
icebreaker Thou shall not be named Icebreaker is because we
would love a few more. We'd love a few more ideas.
Yeah, I think, I think icebreakers are fun.
I actually, I think I've mentioned this.
I go to treading with a couple of friends who are kind of
friends and friends and loose friends.
(28:06):
And they have a card on the sideof the pool that they've created
that's laminated, that has some icebreaker questions.
And they're really cool because you go into the pool, everyone
sort of loosely knows each otherenough to say hi, which is
probably often the case when youare in a meeting or a workshop
or something, but we don't know each other super well.
So my favorite one in this is what has been something you've
(28:27):
been reading or listening to recently that you really liked?
And it could be anything. And gosh, that sparked so much
conversation. We went down perimenopause.
We went down, what is it not fantasy?
Fantasy romance is a genre that's coming out.
And then it was like people weredigging into why they feel
embarrassed about acknowledging that.
(28:48):
And then other people were like,I didn't read enough and and it
just sparked this whole conversation.
They ended up taking an hour just from asking that question.
And we learned so much about each other.
So I do think they can be amazing sometimes for just
having a great conversation withpeople, which is why I think
it's useful to have a couple in your pocket.
Or maybe not the first question you ask in a networking event
when you bump into someone, but maybe like 3 or 4 questions
(29:10):
down. Have a couple that are just like
really open. Like if someone says are you
reading anything interesting at the moment?
I'm looking for a new book recommendation or something
that's not weird to ask, but it really does spark something.
I agree. So as a recap, please this week,
take it upon yourself to connectwith another human.
It could be that you're the one that joins a zoom call early.
(29:31):
Just start asking a question, you know, what city were you
born in? Or it it could be just even be
in the chat and other people canjoin in as they join those
meetings and try some new thingsout.
Because it really is about connecting, finding, you know,
little brief conversations in a massively impersonal digital
(29:52):
world. And just give it a go.
Don't be too much pressure. Don't put too much pressure on
yourself. Just get a little bit curious
and remember that questions really do you know, forge the
way to really interesting new and stronger connection.
And I would suggest don't have agoal with this.
(30:13):
So don't think oh I need to do this to finish with like making
a LinkedIn connection or anything.
So just use that means as the end like it is just about
practicing small chat. And secondly, I would say
practice it in low stakes environment.
So I will always, not always, but most of the time I'll talk
to an Uber driver and, and practice there.
I will check to the person I'm ordering from at a cafe or a
(30:35):
restaurant, practice it there. And I think it is about actually
building up a practice of starting conversations with
people. And the more you do it, the
easier it gets and the less awkward it feels and the more
you've just got all these different options in your bank
and you go with it. So don't just assume it's only
for networking events and for work colleagues.
Practice everywhere and you'll find it becomes easier
(30:57):
everywhere. Let us know your favorite ones
as well, because we're always open to asking some new
questions. Check us out on powersuit.com.
Drop into any of our social accounts.
We'd love to say hello and we'llcatch you all next time.
Before we go though, I have a ice breaker question for you.
(31:18):
How was your trip, Kristen? Just come back from Japan.
How was your trip, Kristen? I'm going to, I'm going to
summarize it as fun and really interesting.
Obviously, I did loads of research while I was away.
I was in Japan, like the whole world is in Japan.
I know there's memes like no one's anywhere because
everyone's in Japan. But it was just lots of fun,
lots of laughs with the kids. I spent like more time with Kyle
(31:40):
than I have in many a year. Thank goodness we still like
each other. I was thinking about that too.
I was like, Oh my gosh, like, thank goodness for that.
Like I can't imagine not liking your partner once your kids are
raised and like it happens, you know, it's a thing.
I think divorce spikes around our life stage, but we did
really well, which is great. So no divorce here.
(32:03):
I. Have no I have no doubt in the
fishing. How's the fishing?
Fishing. All I saw is Kyle looking at
fish, talking about fish, talking to people about fish.
I'm sick of talking at fish. I'm sick of talking about the
fish every chance he could. You know, if he saw people
fishing, he'd be right in there having good conversations.
He'd be bringing up photos, you know, who's is bigger, that kind
(32:24):
of thing. So.
Great small chat from Kyle. I actually have done that
overseas as well, especially because you'll have noticed
different countries have different fish and so I'm often
getting out photos of New Zealand fish.
I mean like this is what we catch when we go out.
Exactly. My sway of like connecting.
I'm with Kyle. He was.
He had it out. He was like, oh, with the sushi
chefs, he was like, oh, this is the one, this is our white bait.
(32:46):
And and then we were just so, you know, the kids and I oh
gosh, here he goes again. But you're right, that was a
small, that was the connection thing on something that he was
interested with because it created learning as well.
But yeah, we had to go to the big tuna auction where they
auction like tuna for a million dollars.
And yeah, anyway, lots of talking about fish having a
little break over here. Kristen Japanese Bistro Amazing.
(33:10):
That's great, thanks for asking.Okay everyone, we'll catch you
all next time. Bye.
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