May 11, 2026 • 31 mins
Nat and Kristen dive into the professional version of the dating ick - that sudden, inexplicable cringe you get from colleagues and workplace behaviour. From performative cultural awareness and name-dropping to people who swan into meetings mid-phone-call just to look busy they share their personal lists of workplace annoyances (and admit some of them say more about themselves than anyone else). Weaponised busyness, auto-forwards with zero context - it's all on the table. Equal parts venting and an excercise in self-awareness, this ep will have you quietly adding to your own list.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:05):
Welcome to Power Up, the podcastthat uncovers the unique
challenges women leaders face today.
Join your hosts Nat and Kristen as we dive into the tough topics
and provide actionable insights you can apply right now.
Don't forget to hit subscribe soyou don't miss any episodes.
(00:38):
I went for a walk in the weekendand my friend was telling me
that she has crafted a list of all her annoyances and sent it
to a friend and he sent her his list back and I think they're
now like living lists. So I immediately stopped walking
and texted Kristen saying we should do a list of workplace X
and media annoyances because I always find them so funny to
(00:59):
hear what other people's are andI feel like over the years I
have compiled quite a list. Do you have a list?
No, I don't have a list number one, but like, so I have to
brainstorm on the fly here, but I trust I've got icks and I'm
pretty sure I've unservice them.But I would be really stressed
out. I'd be Oh yeah, this is this is
helpful. That's a good exercise.
(01:20):
I I'll tell you what would be really stressful for me, though,
hanging out with someone like that who all of a sudden is
writing in their notes. I'm like.
What did I do? What?
Did I do that? Would really stress me out, but
I did. When you said it, I was like,
well where the heck did the ick come from?
Turns out it's been around since1979.
It's it's a general term for repulsion, which is really hard.
(01:41):
But actually I'm like, you know,batteries that when you put the
front and back together and they, you know, repel from one
another. The magnets I don't.
Know we should be playing with batteries.
Doesn't a battery in a magnet? Yeah, No, no, no.
You know, the ones that you stick on your tongue?
The D batter. The D batteries.
This is not advised. Do not put battery.
Anyway, anyway, 'cause they're magnets are batteries have
(02:03):
magnet stuff in them, don't they?
Sorry, scientists. Anyway, look, it's repulsion is
what the ick is, but the modern version of it actually came from
Love Island U KS Olivia Atwood. She is credited for what it is
today and she said it in 2017. So like it's been around for
some time. And then of course, it got
picked up TikTok gold got a holdof it and in 2020 and locked
(02:28):
down. It kind of like absolutely took
off as many things random thingsdid.
There's such a thing as even called ick talk.
And it turns out actually most of these shorts, clips and reels
are women, which not surprised because we have quite often the
definition is that cringy, unsettling feeling when someone
(02:49):
you were previously into or likemaybe a friend or whatever an
acquaintance does something becomes suddenly, inexplicably,
inexplicably repulsive, triggered by something
completely trivial. So let's keep that in mind.
These are trivial things that wecan often be triggered by.
Yeah. I think they are trivial.
I actually think the gene did part of this is really
(03:09):
interesting as well. I have been growing a little bit
down the manosphere. Please excuse me.
I found it really interesting tojust sort of understand and
there was there was a really. What is that your algorithm now?
No, I just, I just started like actively digging into it because
I think it's always interesting to see what perceptions, you
know, you, we both like to get outside our bubble.
I really got really into it. I was like, it's hilarious.
(03:31):
All the maxing, everything's maxing.
And I know, I know. I know, but there was, I can't
remember the video I watched, but was someone really
articulating some of the challenges men face at the
moment? And I and, and like there's lots
of research around dating apps and how men have to swipe on
like 50 people to get one connection and then they get
(03:51):
ghosted. And, and I think the XI can see
how X has become a real divisivething as well.
Because if it is gendered and men are feeling like, because
there's that whole account on Instagram that just is that
scrolling list. Have you seen it?
If you in one of those like a video of a man like with his
legs kicking underwater and feellike add it to the list and
(04:14):
you're like, if you feel like anything that's like non manly
or that gives you the ick. And I'm like, Oh, it kind of
reinforces gender stereotypes ina way that I thought we were all
fighting against. But I do also, I have have
experienced that in a relationship where you're just
suddenly like, Oh no, gone, it'sgone.
Well, that it might be helpful now as I was kind of researching
(04:34):
why we get it. Sometimes there are a few
signals associated with getting to IC.
And then let's start to go through some of the lesson.
Maybe you can tell me someone, but sometimes it's a values
signal like you'd note it like it's clearly a signal that
someone's values don't align with yours.
And I think that will come up crop up as we share our ICS.
(04:55):
Others are sometimes related to our own stuff like it.
It's like a it's a something we might be self self-conscious
about or have low self esteem about and it appears in someone
else and a weird thing happens with our brains there.
So I think I think it's important to raise that, you
(05:15):
know, they can be, we can be triggered by things because of
ourselves and like we're not really trying to be mean.
This is like an interesting exploratory session of like,
aren't we complex or maybe really basic humans?
I I was just thinking when you were saying that I was like,
I've always had an ick about socks and sandals like, but then
(05:37):
Kyla, I think not passive pass ugly.
Just Aggie aggressively with hissocks and sandals.
Have you got over it then? It's never actually about her
but and, and I think it's because she wears them with
confidence, because she wears them as a as a as a protest.
Nah, I don't think she cares enough.
It's like my socks and Crocs which I.
(05:57):
Yeah, I mean, I've seen that, yeah, I've bullied you on social
media for that. But I do think that it's that
kind of showcases how unreasonable or irrational they
are that like, even between people, someone can give you the
ick and someone else doing the same thing cannot give you the
ick. So yeah, but I think it is also
interesting because I think sometimes you do just have that
like and and it's good to be able to just go.
(06:20):
It's just a thing. It's just a random thing that
gives me the cringy. Yucky yeah, it's social norms as
well. A little bit as well.
Like if we were if if there's something related to I don't
know, we'll get to it. We'll get to it.
We'll get to it. OK Actually, I've just thought a
new Ek. Well, I thought OK, OK, OK, go.
What are some of your ex? What are some?
(06:40):
Of your ex OK I'm just going to write my OK well I'm just going
to start with this the one that just came to mind performative
cultural awareness I feel like when we've been in the situation
a couple of times where someone will make a song and dance at
the start of a call or a meetingabout doing something very
culturally sensitive and I actually noticed this far more
(07:02):
in Australia with the what is itthe something to country what's
it called yeah yeah yeah yeah the.
Acknowledgement of. Acknowledgement to country and
99% of the time it's just like reading a sentence and it's not.
There's no meaning, there's no thinking or respect behind it.
It's just a tick off thing. I find it.
(07:23):
It gives me the ick. Yeah, especially when you see
like it's just so obvious in theperson that grabs a sheet of
paper and just flips it off and then gets back to business and
it's like a. Like showcasing their cultural
sensitivity, but in a very performative way.
So at the other end. And that's again, why it's
probably irrational because I, Ialso strongly believe that we
(07:44):
should all be trying and being far more aware of the indigenous
populations that we're around. It's just that sometimes it's
all, I don't know, Sometimes people push it in a way that I'm
like, OK, this doesn't feel likeyou were doing this other than
to showcase to everyone that you're really great or something
otherwise. Yeah, right.
OK. And you can clear.
(08:05):
It out again you can. You can think of a few examples
clearly. OK, no, that's great.
And along those same lines, I'm going to I'm going to say a
workplace and or networking ick.For me, professional ick is
overly in touch conversation starters like deep or personal,
(08:26):
like someone that clearly has istrying to be, I don't know,
personal and skip the small talk.
And so you might flip them, you might flip them off an e-mail
and they'll come back and be like key insights that you got,
you know, or something. And you're like, what?
(08:48):
Like we don't know each other that well and that's a bit
strange. Or the opener at a networking
thing where someone has tried really hard to go really deep,
really quick, and they often catch me in the wrong mood when
they do that to me. I don't know.
I don't know. How are you really in your life?
Yeah. Or like, oh God, I can just
think of an example. No, I can't think of an example,
(09:11):
but I remember the feeling of like, I don't even know how to
answer that because we haven't done the surface dance and it
doesn't feel genuine. It feels performative and it
feels like you're trying to really be in touch and it's like
I. Agree.
I think I know exactly what you're talking about.
And also I find it hilarious because these are all things
that we are like, give it a go at networking and be really
(09:34):
respectful and then we're like. No, I don't know.
I don't. Anyway, I think it's just when
you go too deep too hard and you're like trying to get to the
heart of matters or be the devil's.
I'm just being the devil's advocate here.
And you're like, just don't. You're like, don't.
OK, go. Go back home, deal.
OK, I'm going to jump tone completely auto forwards like
(09:56):
they're just automatic forwards when a e-mail just lands in my
inbox. By the way, you never do this.
So what? The heck is an auto forward?
Well, like when someone just gets an e-mail and then they
just forward it to you and they don't give you any context or
anything. I get icked about those people.
I'm like, oh, you can't. Like there's something about
that. It's actually.
Rude. I actually find it.
Rude. Just like a power play of like,
(10:16):
I'm just flicking this on and I don't like those.
We, I think both of us, have a aversion to people who abuse
power. This is the values when I told
told you about your triggered bya value signal that is like a
yeah, yeah, great. OK.
I want to then go name dropping.Name dropping is so gross
(10:40):
because it's so not Canadian andit's so not New Zealander Kiwi.
And then when I get in a space, it's often with someone that
isn't from here or they've livedoverseas and developed this
habit and they name drop. And I don't know, it must be the
tall poppy syndrome thing of like, gross.
I don't know. I don't know if it's still
(11:00):
Poppy. It's I have a distinct memory of
being on the side of a sports field in the last couple of
months. And I actually made a game of it
in my head of like, how many names can he drop?
Like I haven't actually even seen anything back yet.
And I'm just getting Bam name, Bam name, Bam name.
And it's always very like humblebragging when I was out with
such and such and then such and such said this and, and it's all
(11:21):
very like a really intrived way of introducing something so you
can name drop. And I by the end of it was like,
I was there with a couple of friends and I was like, guys, I
counted like 20 times and that like tirade at me that I didn't
even ask for or contribute to. Do you?
Think this person adopted that by living overseas?
Or is it like a status thing nowhere?
(11:41):
I think it's a perceived status thing.
I think they thought they were showcasing high status.
And I was just like giggling. It was like, oh gosh, that's
it's just, I find that embarrassing.
Like, OK, chill out. And especially because if you
are listening from somewhere else, New Zealand is a very
small place. So often people who name drop,
(12:02):
we know those people and they'llbe like, I know that person at
all. So it's like it's like you've
literally gone out of your way to say you have a relationship
with someone where you don't, which I just find like so
cringe. Yeah, don't like it.
Don't like it? OK, you you're go.
Oh, OK, I'm going to talk about a really specific example, but
(12:23):
we used to work with someone who'd walk in in the morning and
be on the phone and like, walk into a room and be talking and
be like, I'm just on the score. And I'm like, it's another thing
that you're like, OK, we'll finish your conversation
outside. Like, I'm really pleased you're
busy and important, but I didn'tneed to be subjected to this.
(12:43):
It was A and that is like a, a belief that they look important
and busy. If they come in and they look
like they're hustling and getting information and then
they're like, I'll be with you in just one minute.
Yeah. And you're like, yeah, I'm like
already in my thing. So that brought back a memory of
I, I was chatting with an organization.
(13:05):
I was invited to chat with an organization.
This is when I was between gigs years and years and years ago.
And I was invited to chat with an organization.
I wasn't quite sure about this person said, just go and meet my
HR person, it'll be great. They happen to be in town.
So I went to the Cafe and I walked in and I didn't really
know who I was waiting for. And the person was sitting down
at the table and I thought, oh, that must be it based on the
(13:26):
LinkedIn photo. I just.
Stalked. And this person was on a phone
on a phone call at the time and noted me and I said oh hello.
And I was I'm on time probably afew minutes early.
And they did that. Just wait, finger at me.
So here I am in this busy thing.I've been invited to come and
talk because this person wanted me to consider their
(13:47):
organization and then I'm meeting with their very
important. And this person was done to the
nines like fur coat and lots of makeup and lots of, you know,
whatever. Like it was a very done up
person and was just like, if youcan just wait for me, that'd be
great. So I stood in the doorway of
this cafe because there were no other seats and I'm like, I'm
not going to take a table when I'm supposed to be sitting with
(14:08):
you for 15 minutes, 15 minutes standing at the door.
It was so rude and it was I, I don't think I ever fed that
back, but that was such an ick for me.
That's a similar thing is these self important people that do
rather rude things to make you feel.
And remember how I said that's often like a, you get triggered
(14:28):
by something, I don't know whatever.
But that made me feel vulnerableand not important, which then
triggered me because I didn't feel seen.
And that's like a A thing for me.
And so that was yuck. I mean like, I'm not going to go
on to this, but I had an awful boyfriend once and he used to
leave me in the car being like, I'm just going to go do this
(14:49):
thing and I'd be there for like 2 hours and I'd have the keys
and I wouldn't know how to get out.
And so and now I look back and I'm like modded me would just
leave the keys in the car and walk away.
But like when you're in those situations you don't you like
and then it makes you feel so little.
I'm pulling on one little thing there, the LinkedIn photo.
(15:09):
I just realized another. When people have a LinkedIn
photo that is so wildly different to how they look, and,
you know, it was taken like 20 years ago, it's like a glamour
shoot. And I'm like, I think we're OK
to just be a little bit more real and just like, like, you
want a nice version. But sometimes I'm like, you
don't even look like the same person.
Yeah, I think we can like with we're doing with organizations
(15:33):
on transporting, transforming them from the inside out with
power suit. I feel like we can.
The more we did a thing on networking in LinkedIn last week
and the more we kind of say justbe yourself on LinkedIn, the
more we can transform LinkedIn to a place of just like normal,
ambitious, interesting people. And I think that can even start
with a signal of a photo that's just naturally you and I, I
(15:56):
think that's really. Nice like make it a glam
version, like do you make up have nice lighting?
But like, it should look like you now, Like, you know, not you
23. Years ago picking up.
We should probably do some photos again at some point.
Well have I got the deal for you?
I had a beautiful photographer to take family photos of my
sister. Please chase me being like she's
never gotten in touch and I've chased my sister like 4 times so
(16:18):
I might just transfer it to us and just feel like we'll do
another photo shoot. Yeah, we should, we should do 1.
So we should get because I'm like, oh, I did look a little
bit younger in my LinkedIn photo.
Anyway, OK, I am going to go with kind of along the same
veins of not being seen or heard.
Two things have happened to me in in my career and I think I've
(16:38):
dropped this one before actually.
Sorry. 1 is a specific example and 1 is like a general persona
or as I perceive to be a persona.
The first is that I was trying to build a personal brand, just
coming back into the workplace after having kids and I had a
bad egg as a boss. That was exactly how this person
(16:59):
was described after the unceremoniously let this person
go. And I remember being called,
texted to come into a meeting and this was with all senior
execs at this company. And I opened the door to the
meeting to see what this person wanted.
And this person said can you please go across the street and
get me a sandwich? Everyone was looking at me and
(17:23):
they knew it was inappropriate but I was mortified.
And I just thought this is the literally the worst.
See how it's burned in my memory, etched in my memory, and
this is probably 8 years ago. Oh yeah, no, no, no.
Those things do burn in your memory because it's so
dehumanizing. So that is bad egg story of like
(17:44):
that was a major ick for me. Like it made me feel yuck.
And along the same vein, I don'tknow if it's gosh, it's endless
now it's cold fish. I call them cold fish people
that are just cold and I can't. And I know like quite often it
is quite often it is. It could be related to
personality or it's just how they engage with the world.
(18:07):
But for me, I get like this immediate judgement over people
who I perceive as cold and I feel stupid and it's an on me
thing, but I get the IT from that 'cause I'm like, why aren't
you just like happy or chill or like smile or like, let's have a
conversation like you. Yeah, anyway.
That's actually really relevant to last week's podcast and
(18:28):
newsletter about reading the room.
And I've dug into a bit more forthe podcast, for the newsletter.
And it's so interesting how our perceptions play a real role.
Like, we all filter information through our own lenses.
And I think because you are a very warm person and you are
very not susceptible, very awareor attuned to those social cues,
(18:50):
it hits you really hard when people are like not behaving,
like not doing the really easy things they could do to make you
feel welcomed or, you know, like, yeah, perceived, perceived
easy things. OK, I'm going to on the subject
of cold. No, this is just another one
that I used to find. I used to have a design company
and I used to find it really irritating when people would
(19:13):
leave at 5:00 PM on the dot every day because I was like,
you've clearly just like literally been looking at the
clock for the exact time you canleave.
So I wanted to do that one with on the flip side, I've talked to
a bunch of power suitors who work different hours so that
like some of them have like international calls.
So they're working quite late atnight and they might start
slightly later in the morning morning.
And they say when they walk intothe office, they get like a oh,
(19:35):
look who's arrived now. And I just find that whole like
time keeping to the exact moment.
I find it really like like there's something about it that
feels very non generous or you're very much just like
doing. On both sides, the commentary
about time and then the believing.
Yeah, yeah, there's something about both of being really hyper
(19:58):
aware of time and like. Really.
Because my assumption is the same people who leave at 5:00 PM
on the dot are the same people who are like, we must work for
these hours. And if you don't fit my rules,
you're in trouble. And I find that like, chill out.
I wonder if the people that alsoequally might stay till 5:15
just to be seen at 5:15 that would fall into the same
category again that performed the last.
(20:20):
Person OK, well I want to finishone last one on that one.
I have two. I have two more.
But OK, I've got just on that same note as the people who
schedule emails to make it look like they're working when
they're not, like they're also like focused on how do I look
like I'm in the office at the right time and I'm like, just
send the e-mail when you've written the e-mail.
It's fine. I know that's not always the
case at different workplaces, but all that time stuff bothers
(20:41):
me. Yeah, OK.
Now you might want to cut this one from the podcast.
So like let me know because it'sa little bit it's it's possibly
over generalizing and it's not very fair, but it is a personal
ick of mine. And this is an extension of.
Is it related to me? No, this is, I feel terrible
saying this, but this is conversation where I just get a
(21:01):
sense of men just swanning around.
And what I mean by that is I'm in rooms.
We are in rooms now of influential people, right?
People have had interesting careers, done all sorts of
stuff. And what I'm noticing is when
men get to a certain generation and sit on boards and blah,
blah, blah, like they're just swanning around.
Like they're off to Japan cycling for three weeks, you
(21:22):
know, one month, and then they're off like hiking through
the Dolomites for the next week and then they might be on
another cycling. Many little examples because we
may need to cut them. Many real people.
No, no, no, I'm just generalizing like then they're
off like cycling in South of SA or like NSW.
Like I just feel like there's a lot of examples of and
(21:42):
conversations of men fishing, a lot of fishing, There's a lot of
climbing going on, There's a lotof cycling going on.
And I think what is not the ick is is not that because I'm like
dream life, like would love that.
So part jealousy, but it was those careers and success were
built off the back of their wives and partners not making
(22:04):
the money and the time and the connections to.
There's just something in it that I'm just like, like just
this. The trappings of success that
they've built were given to themeasier than what we need to do
today. And it sounds really ungenerous,
but I'm like, if I have another conversation about someone who's
(22:25):
off on an expedition that was built off the back of their
wives staying home with their kids, I'm like.
I think what it is, is we know how hard it is to get to those
rooms as women. And so when someone is
demonstrating how easy it was for them to the point that they
are kind of swatting around, youjust look at that and lose all
(22:46):
respect for them because you're like, oh, I see what's happened
here. You got an unearned spot.
And now we will have to deal with that while we're working
doubly as hard and your wife is picking up the slack.
Yeah, that's so it. And it's just the biggest.
That's like my biggest, like trauma trigger where I walk away
actually feeling like a loser because I'm not hopping on a
plane to France. But it is just because you're in
those rooms of these men that aren't more intelligent than
(23:08):
you. They're just simply like have
been able, you know, they haven't had to take time off to
have children and or plus plus plus, like it's, you know, they
were tapped on the shoulder for the opportunity, whereas many of
us weren't. So anyway, that is a nick, but
also like clearly a a personal thing.
My last one, unless you have onelast one.
I would just like to interject then and say Air New Zealand,
please get us on a plane to France or somewhere else.
(23:29):
We're a tiny bootstrap business growing internationally from New
Zealand. OK, my last Dick and this is a
personal and professional one with either friends and or
professional friends. So professional besties and
acquaintances and stuff where you've kind of dug below the
layer of like kitchen chat, right.
So my ick is people who act likethings are better than they are.
(23:53):
It is such an ick for me. Yeah, it's so fake.
It's so like you're, you feel like crap about yourself because
you get with a coffee and like children are great and blah,
blah, blah are great and work isgreat and Oh my gosh, like the
and like part of it. I'm like, I'm so happy for you
if that's real, but I just don'tthink it's real.
(24:14):
Like, you know, I feel like the tell there is often I think
about this with a particular person I used to nanny for, and
everything was always great. Like, her relationship was
great. Everything was great.
And then they divorced. And she's like, oh, yeah,
because I was unhappy for such along time.
And so now it's way better that we're separated.
And I was like, wait a second, You used to tell me that
everything was perfect when you were together, and now you're
separated. You're telling me it wasn't, but
now it is. And I'm like, it's that kind of
(24:35):
when you read between the lines and go, you're always reframing
the story or retelling the storyin a positive light that now
fits your current circumstances.And you read that.
And I read that as quite inauthentic and it makes it hard
to connect. That's it, because trust is
currency and that I'm like, why would I trust you with my
information of like things can be hard or I'm struggling with
(24:58):
this, like I don't trust you with that information because
clearly you don't trust me with your information and maybe I'm
not your person. Fine.
And maybe you're competing with me.
You're. Trying.
I don't want to catch up for a beer after work because it's
just going to be all like, everything's great.
I'm like, OK, I don't know where.
To go from here, Not much to diginto when you're like, although
to be fair, right now my life isgreat and I'm like, that sounds
(25:20):
boring. I went out with your daughter
for a drink last week and I was like, tell me all the
interesting things happening in your life because I swear by the
time you turn 42, they're all gone and you're just like
happily, contentedly watching movies and in a really great
relationship and sometimes have a puppy to cuddle.
And that's about the extent of the Goss she had.
Great. She's doing very well.
Your daughter's amazing. You should always tell your
(25:40):
friends how amazing your family is because they are.
Then I send your husband pictures of giant fish.
I don't know if he showed you there was a giant fish caught in
autocking and I was like Kyle breaking news.
I don't think he was as impressed it was giant.
Was that the snapper? How to snapper?
Yeah, it was a snapper off the. Beat I think he didn't say it
was from you though. Yeah.
Well, it's, it's the fishing Grapevine, the autocking fishing
(26:03):
Grapevine. I have a couple more and I think
some of these, OK, you don't like chewing.
So I feel like this one is, is very much aligned with you.
I think it's humming, pin clicking, tapping, like all of
that kind of just like random noises, which is funnily enough
why I always have the TV on during the day because like
sudden random noises that aren'tpattern based.
(26:23):
I just, they're annoying. I thought you would raise things
like bare feet at the office, but I'm like, it's New Zealand.
No bare feet gives me the ick, but I just feel like I haven't
experienced it that much in the office.
Yeah, OK, using me as Google. So someone the other day was
like, oh, what time was this? And I was like, well it's in
your calendar, but sure, you getme to do that work that for some
(26:46):
reason really axe me. And then I have a couple of to,
well, then I've just got a really basic one.
And this is like nobody's fault.And I get it, technology is
hard. But when you are speaking to
someone and they're looking always off in a different
direction because their camera is on a different screen than
the video. And so they're like, they look
like they're looking somewhere else completely.
(27:07):
And I'm like, OK, you can fix that.
You can fix. That and maybe they don't even
know that. That's wild.
Yeah, well, sometimes people arelike, oh, I'm looking in a
different direction because of this.
And I'm like, yeah, and you could just switch.
It's not a biggie. But I just feel like it's
something that we could fix. We don't have to deal with this
anymore. But cold air con used to drive
me bonkers. And offices where it was for
(27:30):
put, the thermostat was put at the temperature that worked for
men and suits. And we were all freezing all the
time. And I was like, we shouldn't
have to have little heaters under our desks and then two
behavioral ones. And these things that I've
experienced a bit. I like this because I, I used
tech GPT to figure out what I meant.
Weaponized busyness that kind oflike race to the bottom, I'm
(27:53):
more busy and like that kind of feeds into when we talk about
saying no and when people go, I'm too busy and it's like it
just comes across as weaponized like it's everyone's busy.
Like come up with a better excuse.
And then the second element of the behavioral 1 is the drama
person. I've worked with someone before
who was always the first to clock someone in the middle of a
drama and get themselves right in the middle of it and make it
(28:16):
worse. And I just found that behavior
pitiful because I'm like, we should all be trying to like
help each other work together, not.
That's. Bombs.
That's a that's such a that feels like such a toxic trait,
by the way. Yeah, it did feel like that at
the time, Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, and that trust, it's that trust currency as well.
It's like and and and they're they're, yeah, they're easy to
(28:38):
clock too. Great.
Good, good therapy slash ventingsession.
Hopefully some related to some of ours.
We like technically yours if you've got any Workplace X.
Can people write comments on thepodcast or send them through to
us? E-mail them through to us and
we'll read some out next week, if we get any.
Or I'll put, I'll put a post up on on social.
So yeah, feel free. Feel free to send some through
(28:58):
everyone. Yeah, take the chance.
And if you disagree your time, Xtoo, because I feel like X are
quite personal, like the Sox andsandals thing that some people
like Kyla, think that they're great.
Yeah. Oh yeah.
I love it. Aw, thanks everyone for tuning
in, sharing this episode, for reaching out, getting in touch,
and checking out the great work we're doing at powersuit.com.
(29:23):
We would love to connect with you personally.
So make sure you reach out in all of the various channels that
you can do that and we'll catch you.
Catch you next time. Thanks.
Everybody catch you next time. Bye.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Before we go.
What? I have a definition of a word.
The origin of a word. Oh, yeah.
Have I seen this one To you? No go.
(29:44):
Hangover. The origin of Hangover.
Oh, what is it? OK, I have to get it out.
I've prepared. This is the most I've ever
prepared for a podcast on my original word.
OK. The lowest form of accommodation
in Victorian England was access to bend over a rope for the
night at the price of a penny. Usually used by drunken sailors
who'd spent all their money drinking.
It was said to be the origin of the term hungover.
(30:07):
Oh, I like it. It's a good one.
OK, that I guess that's my turn for next week.
All right, retake on the goodbyechat to everyone next week.
Take care. I think if you get Juno to wipe
the sleeve out of her eyes before she appears on camera
next time, here we go. Oh no, she looks gorgeous.
She's like I'm a podcast. Anyway, thanks everyone, chat
soon bye.
Welcome to Power Up, the podcastthat uncovers the unique
challenges women leaders face today.
Join your hosts Nat and Kristen as we dive into the tough topics
and provide actionable insights you can apply right now.
Don't forget to hit subscribe soyou don't miss any episodes.
(00:38):
I went for a walk in the weekendand my friend was telling me
that she has crafted a list of all her annoyances and sent it
to a friend and he sent her his list back and I think they're
now like living lists. So I immediately stopped walking
and texted Kristen saying we should do a list of workplace X
and media annoyances because I always find them so funny to
(00:59):
hear what other people's are andI feel like over the years I
have compiled quite a list. Do you have a list?
No, I don't have a list number one, but like, so I have to
brainstorm on the fly here, but I trust I've got icks and I'm
pretty sure I've unservice them.But I would be really stressed
out. I'd be Oh yeah, this is this is
helpful. That's a good exercise.
(01:20):
I I'll tell you what would be really stressful for me, though,
hanging out with someone like that who all of a sudden is
writing in their notes. I'm like.
What did I do? What?
Did I do that? Would really stress me out, but
I did. When you said it, I was like,
well where the heck did the ick come from?
Turns out it's been around since1979.
It's it's a general term for repulsion, which is really hard.
(01:41):
But actually I'm like, you know,batteries that when you put the
front and back together and they, you know, repel from one
another. The magnets I don't.
Know we should be playing with batteries.
Doesn't a battery in a magnet? Yeah, No, no, no.
You know, the ones that you stick on your tongue?
The D batter. The D batteries.
This is not advised. Do not put battery.
Anyway, anyway, 'cause they're magnets are batteries have
(02:03):
magnet stuff in them, don't they?
Sorry, scientists. Anyway, look, it's repulsion is
what the ick is, but the modern version of it actually came from
Love Island U KS Olivia Atwood. She is credited for what it is
today and she said it in 2017. So like it's been around for
some time. And then of course, it got
picked up TikTok gold got a holdof it and in 2020 and locked
(02:28):
down. It kind of like absolutely took
off as many things random thingsdid.
There's such a thing as even called ick talk.
And it turns out actually most of these shorts, clips and reels
are women, which not surprised because we have quite often the
definition is that cringy, unsettling feeling when someone
(02:49):
you were previously into or likemaybe a friend or whatever an
acquaintance does something becomes suddenly, inexplicably,
inexplicably repulsive, triggered by something
completely trivial. So let's keep that in mind.
These are trivial things that wecan often be triggered by.
Yeah. I think they are trivial.
I actually think the gene did part of this is really
(03:09):
interesting as well. I have been growing a little bit
down the manosphere. Please excuse me.
I found it really interesting tojust sort of understand and
there was there was a really. What is that your algorithm now?
No, I just, I just started like actively digging into it because
I think it's always interesting to see what perceptions, you
know, you, we both like to get outside our bubble.
I really got really into it. I was like, it's hilarious.
(03:31):
All the maxing, everything's maxing.
And I know, I know. I know, but there was, I can't
remember the video I watched, but was someone really
articulating some of the challenges men face at the
moment? And I and, and like there's lots
of research around dating apps and how men have to swipe on
like 50 people to get one connection and then they get
(03:51):
ghosted. And, and I think the XI can see
how X has become a real divisivething as well.
Because if it is gendered and men are feeling like, because
there's that whole account on Instagram that just is that
scrolling list. Have you seen it?
If you in one of those like a video of a man like with his
legs kicking underwater and feellike add it to the list and
(04:14):
you're like, if you feel like anything that's like non manly
or that gives you the ick. And I'm like, Oh, it kind of
reinforces gender stereotypes ina way that I thought we were all
fighting against. But I do also, I have have
experienced that in a relationship where you're just
suddenly like, Oh no, gone, it'sgone.
Well, that it might be helpful now as I was kind of researching
(04:34):
why we get it. Sometimes there are a few
signals associated with getting to IC.
And then let's start to go through some of the lesson.
Maybe you can tell me someone, but sometimes it's a values
signal like you'd note it like it's clearly a signal that
someone's values don't align with yours.
And I think that will come up crop up as we share our ICS.
(04:55):
Others are sometimes related to our own stuff like it.
It's like a it's a something we might be self self-conscious
about or have low self esteem about and it appears in someone
else and a weird thing happens with our brains there.
So I think I think it's important to raise that, you
(05:15):
know, they can be, we can be triggered by things because of
ourselves and like we're not really trying to be mean.
This is like an interesting exploratory session of like,
aren't we complex or maybe really basic humans?
I I was just thinking when you were saying that I was like,
I've always had an ick about socks and sandals like, but then
(05:37):
Kyla, I think not passive pass ugly.
Just Aggie aggressively with hissocks and sandals.
Have you got over it then? It's never actually about her
but and, and I think it's because she wears them with
confidence, because she wears them as a as a as a protest.
Nah, I don't think she cares enough.
It's like my socks and Crocs which I.
(05:57):
Yeah, I mean, I've seen that, yeah, I've bullied you on social
media for that. But I do think that it's that
kind of showcases how unreasonable or irrational they
are that like, even between people, someone can give you the
ick and someone else doing the same thing cannot give you the
ick. So yeah, but I think it is also
interesting because I think sometimes you do just have that
like and and it's good to be able to just go.
(06:20):
It's just a thing. It's just a random thing that
gives me the cringy. Yucky yeah, it's social norms as
well. A little bit as well.
Like if we were if if there's something related to I don't
know, we'll get to it. We'll get to it.
We'll get to it. OK Actually, I've just thought a
new Ek. Well, I thought OK, OK, OK, go.
What are some of your ex? What are some?
(06:40):
Of your ex OK I'm just going to write my OK well I'm just going
to start with this the one that just came to mind performative
cultural awareness I feel like when we've been in the situation
a couple of times where someone will make a song and dance at
the start of a call or a meetingabout doing something very
culturally sensitive and I actually noticed this far more
(07:02):
in Australia with the what is itthe something to country what's
it called yeah yeah yeah yeah the.
Acknowledgement of. Acknowledgement to country and
99% of the time it's just like reading a sentence and it's not.
There's no meaning, there's no thinking or respect behind it.
It's just a tick off thing. I find it.
(07:23):
It gives me the ick. Yeah, especially when you see
like it's just so obvious in theperson that grabs a sheet of
paper and just flips it off and then gets back to business and
it's like a. Like showcasing their cultural
sensitivity, but in a very performative way.
So at the other end. And that's again, why it's
probably irrational because I, Ialso strongly believe that we
(07:44):
should all be trying and being far more aware of the indigenous
populations that we're around. It's just that sometimes it's
all, I don't know, Sometimes people push it in a way that I'm
like, OK, this doesn't feel likeyou were doing this other than
to showcase to everyone that you're really great or something
otherwise. Yeah, right.
OK. And you can clear.
(08:05):
It out again you can. You can think of a few examples
clearly. OK, no, that's great.
And along those same lines, I'm going to I'm going to say a
workplace and or networking ick.For me, professional ick is
overly in touch conversation starters like deep or personal,
(08:26):
like someone that clearly has istrying to be, I don't know,
personal and skip the small talk.
And so you might flip them, you might flip them off an e-mail
and they'll come back and be like key insights that you got,
you know, or something. And you're like, what?
(08:48):
Like we don't know each other that well and that's a bit
strange. Or the opener at a networking
thing where someone has tried really hard to go really deep,
really quick, and they often catch me in the wrong mood when
they do that to me. I don't know.
I don't know. How are you really in your life?
Yeah. Or like, oh God, I can just
think of an example. No, I can't think of an example,
(09:11):
but I remember the feeling of like, I don't even know how to
answer that because we haven't done the surface dance and it
doesn't feel genuine. It feels performative and it
feels like you're trying to really be in touch and it's like
I. Agree.
I think I know exactly what you're talking about.
And also I find it hilarious because these are all things
that we are like, give it a go at networking and be really
(09:34):
respectful and then we're like. No, I don't know.
I don't. Anyway, I think it's just when
you go too deep too hard and you're like trying to get to the
heart of matters or be the devil's.
I'm just being the devil's advocate here.
And you're like, just don't. You're like, don't.
OK, go. Go back home, deal.
OK, I'm going to jump tone completely auto forwards like
(09:56):
they're just automatic forwards when a e-mail just lands in my
inbox. By the way, you never do this.
So what? The heck is an auto forward?
Well, like when someone just gets an e-mail and then they
just forward it to you and they don't give you any context or
anything. I get icked about those people.
I'm like, oh, you can't. Like there's something about
that. It's actually.
Rude. I actually find it.
Rude. Just like a power play of like,
(10:16):
I'm just flicking this on and I don't like those.
We, I think both of us, have a aversion to people who abuse
power. This is the values when I told
told you about your triggered bya value signal that is like a
yeah, yeah, great. OK.
I want to then go name dropping.Name dropping is so gross
(10:40):
because it's so not Canadian andit's so not New Zealander Kiwi.
And then when I get in a space, it's often with someone that
isn't from here or they've livedoverseas and developed this
habit and they name drop. And I don't know, it must be the
tall poppy syndrome thing of like, gross.
I don't know. I don't know if it's still
(11:00):
Poppy. It's I have a distinct memory of
being on the side of a sports field in the last couple of
months. And I actually made a game of it
in my head of like, how many names can he drop?
Like I haven't actually even seen anything back yet.
And I'm just getting Bam name, Bam name, Bam name.
And it's always very like humblebragging when I was out with
such and such and then such and such said this and, and it's all
(11:21):
very like a really intrived way of introducing something so you
can name drop. And I by the end of it was like,
I was there with a couple of friends and I was like, guys, I
counted like 20 times and that like tirade at me that I didn't
even ask for or contribute to. Do you?
Think this person adopted that by living overseas?
Or is it like a status thing nowhere?
(11:41):
I think it's a perceived status thing.
I think they thought they were showcasing high status.
And I was just like giggling. It was like, oh gosh, that's
it's just, I find that embarrassing.
Like, OK, chill out. And especially because if you
are listening from somewhere else, New Zealand is a very
small place. So often people who name drop,
(12:02):
we know those people and they'llbe like, I know that person at
all. So it's like it's like you've
literally gone out of your way to say you have a relationship
with someone where you don't, which I just find like so
cringe. Yeah, don't like it.
Don't like it? OK, you you're go.
Oh, OK, I'm going to talk about a really specific example, but
(12:23):
we used to work with someone who'd walk in in the morning and
be on the phone and like, walk into a room and be talking and
be like, I'm just on the score. And I'm like, it's another thing
that you're like, OK, we'll finish your conversation
outside. Like, I'm really pleased you're
busy and important, but I didn'tneed to be subjected to this.
(12:43):
It was A and that is like a, a belief that they look important
and busy. If they come in and they look
like they're hustling and getting information and then
they're like, I'll be with you in just one minute.
Yeah. And you're like, yeah, I'm like
already in my thing. So that brought back a memory of
I, I was chatting with an organization.
(13:05):
I was invited to chat with an organization.
This is when I was between gigs years and years and years ago.
And I was invited to chat with an organization.
I wasn't quite sure about this person said, just go and meet my
HR person, it'll be great. They happen to be in town.
So I went to the Cafe and I walked in and I didn't really
know who I was waiting for. And the person was sitting down
at the table and I thought, oh, that must be it based on the
(13:26):
LinkedIn photo. I just.
Stalked. And this person was on a phone
on a phone call at the time and noted me and I said oh hello.
And I was I'm on time probably afew minutes early.
And they did that. Just wait, finger at me.
So here I am in this busy thing.I've been invited to come and
talk because this person wanted me to consider their
(13:47):
organization and then I'm meeting with their very
important. And this person was done to the
nines like fur coat and lots of makeup and lots of, you know,
whatever. Like it was a very done up
person and was just like, if youcan just wait for me, that'd be
great. So I stood in the doorway of
this cafe because there were no other seats and I'm like, I'm
not going to take a table when I'm supposed to be sitting with
(14:08):
you for 15 minutes, 15 minutes standing at the door.
It was so rude and it was I, I don't think I ever fed that
back, but that was such an ick for me.
That's a similar thing is these self important people that do
rather rude things to make you feel.
And remember how I said that's often like a, you get triggered
(14:28):
by something, I don't know whatever.
But that made me feel vulnerableand not important, which then
triggered me because I didn't feel seen.
And that's like a A thing for me.
And so that was yuck. I mean like, I'm not going to go
on to this, but I had an awful boyfriend once and he used to
leave me in the car being like, I'm just going to go do this
(14:49):
thing and I'd be there for like 2 hours and I'd have the keys
and I wouldn't know how to get out.
And so and now I look back and I'm like modded me would just
leave the keys in the car and walk away.
But like when you're in those situations you don't you like
and then it makes you feel so little.
I'm pulling on one little thing there, the LinkedIn photo.
(15:09):
I just realized another. When people have a LinkedIn
photo that is so wildly different to how they look, and,
you know, it was taken like 20 years ago, it's like a glamour
shoot. And I'm like, I think we're OK
to just be a little bit more real and just like, like, you
want a nice version. But sometimes I'm like, you
don't even look like the same person.
Yeah, I think we can like with we're doing with organizations
(15:33):
on transporting, transforming them from the inside out with
power suit. I feel like we can.
The more we did a thing on networking in LinkedIn last week
and the more we kind of say justbe yourself on LinkedIn, the
more we can transform LinkedIn to a place of just like normal,
ambitious, interesting people. And I think that can even start
with a signal of a photo that's just naturally you and I, I
(15:56):
think that's really. Nice like make it a glam
version, like do you make up have nice lighting?
But like, it should look like you now, Like, you know, not you
23. Years ago picking up.
We should probably do some photos again at some point.
Well have I got the deal for you?
I had a beautiful photographer to take family photos of my
sister. Please chase me being like she's
never gotten in touch and I've chased my sister like 4 times so
(16:18):
I might just transfer it to us and just feel like we'll do
another photo shoot. Yeah, we should, we should do 1.
So we should get because I'm like, oh, I did look a little
bit younger in my LinkedIn photo.
Anyway, OK, I am going to go with kind of along the same
veins of not being seen or heard.
Two things have happened to me in in my career and I think I've
(16:38):
dropped this one before actually.
Sorry. 1 is a specific example and 1 is like a general persona
or as I perceive to be a persona.
The first is that I was trying to build a personal brand, just
coming back into the workplace after having kids and I had a
bad egg as a boss. That was exactly how this person
(16:59):
was described after the unceremoniously let this person
go. And I remember being called,
texted to come into a meeting and this was with all senior
execs at this company. And I opened the door to the
meeting to see what this person wanted.
And this person said can you please go across the street and
get me a sandwich? Everyone was looking at me and
(17:23):
they knew it was inappropriate but I was mortified.
And I just thought this is the literally the worst.
See how it's burned in my memory, etched in my memory, and
this is probably 8 years ago. Oh yeah, no, no, no.
Those things do burn in your memory because it's so
dehumanizing. So that is bad egg story of like
(17:44):
that was a major ick for me. Like it made me feel yuck.
And along the same vein, I don'tknow if it's gosh, it's endless
now it's cold fish. I call them cold fish people
that are just cold and I can't. And I know like quite often it
is quite often it is. It could be related to
personality or it's just how they engage with the world.
(18:07):
But for me, I get like this immediate judgement over people
who I perceive as cold and I feel stupid and it's an on me
thing, but I get the IT from that 'cause I'm like, why aren't
you just like happy or chill or like smile or like, let's have a
conversation like you. Yeah, anyway.
That's actually really relevant to last week's podcast and
(18:28):
newsletter about reading the room.
And I've dug into a bit more forthe podcast, for the newsletter.
And it's so interesting how our perceptions play a real role.
Like, we all filter information through our own lenses.
And I think because you are a very warm person and you are
very not susceptible, very awareor attuned to those social cues,
(18:50):
it hits you really hard when people are like not behaving,
like not doing the really easy things they could do to make you
feel welcomed or, you know, like, yeah, perceived, perceived
easy things. OK, I'm going to on the subject
of cold. No, this is just another one
that I used to find. I used to have a design company
and I used to find it really irritating when people would
(19:13):
leave at 5:00 PM on the dot every day because I was like,
you've clearly just like literally been looking at the
clock for the exact time you canleave.
So I wanted to do that one with on the flip side, I've talked to
a bunch of power suitors who work different hours so that
like some of them have like international calls.
So they're working quite late atnight and they might start
slightly later in the morning morning.
And they say when they walk intothe office, they get like a oh,
(19:35):
look who's arrived now. And I just find that whole like
time keeping to the exact moment.
I find it really like like there's something about it that
feels very non generous or you're very much just like
doing. On both sides, the commentary
about time and then the believing.
Yeah, yeah, there's something about both of being really hyper
(19:58):
aware of time and like. Really.
Because my assumption is the same people who leave at 5:00 PM
on the dot are the same people who are like, we must work for
these hours. And if you don't fit my rules,
you're in trouble. And I find that like, chill out.
I wonder if the people that alsoequally might stay till 5:15
just to be seen at 5:15 that would fall into the same
category again that performed the last.
(20:20):
Person OK, well I want to finishone last one on that one.
I have two. I have two more.
But OK, I've got just on that same note as the people who
schedule emails to make it look like they're working when
they're not, like they're also like focused on how do I look
like I'm in the office at the right time and I'm like, just
send the e-mail when you've written the e-mail.
It's fine. I know that's not always the
case at different workplaces, but all that time stuff bothers
(20:41):
me. Yeah, OK.
Now you might want to cut this one from the podcast.
So like let me know because it'sa little bit it's it's possibly
over generalizing and it's not very fair, but it is a personal
ick of mine. And this is an extension of.
Is it related to me? No, this is, I feel terrible
saying this, but this is conversation where I just get a
(21:01):
sense of men just swanning around.
And what I mean by that is I'm in rooms.
We are in rooms now of influential people, right?
People have had interesting careers, done all sorts of
stuff. And what I'm noticing is when
men get to a certain generation and sit on boards and blah,
blah, blah, like they're just swanning around.
Like they're off to Japan cycling for three weeks, you
(21:22):
know, one month, and then they're off like hiking through
the Dolomites for the next week and then they might be on
another cycling. Many little examples because we
may need to cut them. Many real people.
No, no, no, I'm just generalizing like then they're
off like cycling in South of SA or like NSW.
Like I just feel like there's a lot of examples of and
(21:42):
conversations of men fishing, a lot of fishing, There's a lot of
climbing going on, There's a lotof cycling going on.
And I think what is not the ick is is not that because I'm like
dream life, like would love that.
So part jealousy, but it was those careers and success were
built off the back of their wives and partners not making
(22:04):
the money and the time and the connections to.
There's just something in it that I'm just like, like just
this. The trappings of success that
they've built were given to themeasier than what we need to do
today. And it sounds really ungenerous,
but I'm like, if I have another conversation about someone who's
(22:25):
off on an expedition that was built off the back of their
wives staying home with their kids, I'm like.
I think what it is, is we know how hard it is to get to those
rooms as women. And so when someone is
demonstrating how easy it was for them to the point that they
are kind of swatting around, youjust look at that and lose all
(22:46):
respect for them because you're like, oh, I see what's happened
here. You got an unearned spot.
And now we will have to deal with that while we're working
doubly as hard and your wife is picking up the slack.
Yeah, that's so it. And it's just the biggest.
That's like my biggest, like trauma trigger where I walk away
actually feeling like a loser because I'm not hopping on a
plane to France. But it is just because you're in
those rooms of these men that aren't more intelligent than
(23:08):
you. They're just simply like have
been able, you know, they haven't had to take time off to
have children and or plus plus plus, like it's, you know, they
were tapped on the shoulder for the opportunity, whereas many of
us weren't. So anyway, that is a nick, but
also like clearly a a personal thing.
My last one, unless you have onelast one.
I would just like to interject then and say Air New Zealand,
please get us on a plane to France or somewhere else.
(23:29):
We're a tiny bootstrap business growing internationally from New
Zealand. OK, my last Dick and this is a
personal and professional one with either friends and or
professional friends. So professional besties and
acquaintances and stuff where you've kind of dug below the
layer of like kitchen chat, right.
So my ick is people who act likethings are better than they are.
(23:53):
It is such an ick for me. Yeah, it's so fake.
It's so like you're, you feel like crap about yourself because
you get with a coffee and like children are great and blah,
blah, blah are great and work isgreat and Oh my gosh, like the
and like part of it. I'm like, I'm so happy for you
if that's real, but I just don'tthink it's real.
(24:14):
Like, you know, I feel like the tell there is often I think
about this with a particular person I used to nanny for, and
everything was always great. Like, her relationship was
great. Everything was great.
And then they divorced. And she's like, oh, yeah,
because I was unhappy for such along time.
And so now it's way better that we're separated.
And I was like, wait a second, You used to tell me that
everything was perfect when you were together, and now you're
separated. You're telling me it wasn't, but
now it is. And I'm like, it's that kind of
(24:35):
when you read between the lines and go, you're always reframing
the story or retelling the storyin a positive light that now
fits your current circumstances.And you read that.
And I read that as quite inauthentic and it makes it hard
to connect. That's it, because trust is
currency and that I'm like, why would I trust you with my
information of like things can be hard or I'm struggling with
(24:58):
this, like I don't trust you with that information because
clearly you don't trust me with your information and maybe I'm
not your person. Fine.
And maybe you're competing with me.
You're. Trying.
I don't want to catch up for a beer after work because it's
just going to be all like, everything's great.
I'm like, OK, I don't know where.
To go from here, Not much to diginto when you're like, although
to be fair, right now my life isgreat and I'm like, that sounds
(25:20):
boring. I went out with your daughter
for a drink last week and I was like, tell me all the
interesting things happening in your life because I swear by the
time you turn 42, they're all gone and you're just like
happily, contentedly watching movies and in a really great
relationship and sometimes have a puppy to cuddle.
And that's about the extent of the Goss she had.
Great. She's doing very well.
Your daughter's amazing. You should always tell your
(25:40):
friends how amazing your family is because they are.
Then I send your husband pictures of giant fish.
I don't know if he showed you there was a giant fish caught in
autocking and I was like Kyle breaking news.
I don't think he was as impressed it was giant.
Was that the snapper? How to snapper?
Yeah, it was a snapper off the. Beat I think he didn't say it
was from you though. Yeah.
Well, it's, it's the fishing Grapevine, the autocking fishing
(26:03):
Grapevine. I have a couple more and I think
some of these, OK, you don't like chewing.
So I feel like this one is, is very much aligned with you.
I think it's humming, pin clicking, tapping, like all of
that kind of just like random noises, which is funnily enough
why I always have the TV on during the day because like
sudden random noises that aren'tpattern based.
(26:23):
I just, they're annoying. I thought you would raise things
like bare feet at the office, but I'm like, it's New Zealand.
No bare feet gives me the ick, but I just feel like I haven't
experienced it that much in the office.
Yeah, OK, using me as Google. So someone the other day was
like, oh, what time was this? And I was like, well it's in
your calendar, but sure, you getme to do that work that for some
(26:46):
reason really axe me. And then I have a couple of to,
well, then I've just got a really basic one.
And this is like nobody's fault.And I get it, technology is
hard. But when you are speaking to
someone and they're looking always off in a different
direction because their camera is on a different screen than
the video. And so they're like, they look
like they're looking somewhere else completely.
(27:07):
And I'm like, OK, you can fix that.
You can fix. That and maybe they don't even
know that. That's wild.
Yeah, well, sometimes people arelike, oh, I'm looking in a
different direction because of this.
And I'm like, yeah, and you could just switch.
It's not a biggie. But I just feel like it's
something that we could fix. We don't have to deal with this
anymore. But cold air con used to drive
me bonkers. And offices where it was for
(27:30):
put, the thermostat was put at the temperature that worked for
men and suits. And we were all freezing all the
time. And I was like, we shouldn't
have to have little heaters under our desks and then two
behavioral ones. And these things that I've
experienced a bit. I like this because I, I used
tech GPT to figure out what I meant.
Weaponized busyness that kind oflike race to the bottom, I'm
(27:53):
more busy and like that kind of feeds into when we talk about
saying no and when people go, I'm too busy and it's like it
just comes across as weaponized like it's everyone's busy.
Like come up with a better excuse.
And then the second element of the behavioral 1 is the drama
person. I've worked with someone before
who was always the first to clock someone in the middle of a
drama and get themselves right in the middle of it and make it
(28:16):
worse. And I just found that behavior
pitiful because I'm like, we should all be trying to like
help each other work together, not.
That's. Bombs.
That's a that's such a that feels like such a toxic trait,
by the way. Yeah, it did feel like that at
the time, Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, and that trust, it's that trust currency as well.
It's like and and and they're they're, yeah, they're easy to
(28:38):
clock too. Great.
Good, good therapy slash ventingsession.
Hopefully some related to some of ours.
We like technically yours if you've got any Workplace X.
Can people write comments on thepodcast or send them through to
us? E-mail them through to us and
we'll read some out next week, if we get any.
Or I'll put, I'll put a post up on on social.
So yeah, feel free. Feel free to send some through
(28:58):
everyone. Yeah, take the chance.
And if you disagree your time, Xtoo, because I feel like X are
quite personal, like the Sox andsandals thing that some people
like Kyla, think that they're great.
Yeah. Oh yeah.
I love it. Aw, thanks everyone for tuning
in, sharing this episode, for reaching out, getting in touch,
and checking out the great work we're doing at powersuit.com.
(29:23):
We would love to connect with you personally.
So make sure you reach out in all of the various channels that
you can do that and we'll catch you.
Catch you next time. Thanks.
Everybody catch you next time. Bye.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Before we go.
What? I have a definition of a word.
The origin of a word. Oh, yeah.
Have I seen this one To you? No go.
(29:44):
Hangover. The origin of Hangover.
Oh, what is it? OK, I have to get it out.
I've prepared. This is the most I've ever
prepared for a podcast on my original word.
OK. The lowest form of accommodation
in Victorian England was access to bend over a rope for the
night at the price of a penny. Usually used by drunken sailors
who'd spent all their money drinking.
It was said to be the origin of the term hungover.
(30:07):
Oh, I like it. It's a good one.
OK, that I guess that's my turn for next week.
All right, retake on the goodbyechat to everyone next week.
Take care. I think if you get Juno to wipe
the sleeve out of her eyes before she appears on camera
next time, here we go. Oh no, she looks gorgeous.
She's like I'm a podcast. Anyway, thanks everyone, chat
soon bye.
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