Episode 36: The Highlight Reel: When Comparison Helps You Shine (and When It Steals Your Joy)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I'm Christina and I'm T, andthis is the Pretty and Pink
Again podcast where motherhoodmeets rediscovery.
Hey.
Hi.
Sorry for my voice guys.

(00:22):
I'm apologizing in advancebecause I have a little bit of a
cold, I'm at the tail end of itand my voice, I just have like a
laryngitis.
You sound my normal voice.
You sound like my 12-year-oldson.
Puberty.
Sorry.
I think it sounds good.
Thanks.
I know you're like, it doesn'tsound that bad.
I'm like, it's so much effort totalk right now, but we'll get

(00:44):
through this podcast.
This is the best job to have.
I know.
When you're not feeling well, Iknow I should be sipping on some
like warm lemon water andinstead I'm downing my third
matcha of the day.
So me how thats going.
That looks so good.
And I love the glass containerstoo, like the whole vibe.
I know.
Vibe is like very, matcha is avibe like matcha has is my
personality now.
So, I don't know.

(01:05):
I'm not convinced.
I still picture you with a, uh,with an iced coffee.
No, I'm so much, I'm so muchcalmer now.
I'm in my matcha much more calmera.
'cause when I'm drinking coffee,I'm off the wall.
Like, as you know, I can't getit in my body fast enough.
The morning it's like curlyhaired Christina Yep.
Is coffee.
Yep.
And like straight hair chillvibes.

(01:26):
Yep.
Chill vibes.
Is matcha.
Is matcha.
And that's where I'm at rightnow.
We have multiple personas.
I do.
I do.
Yep.
Oh, I love it.
So what's going on?
Is everybody sick at home?
Yeah.
You know, everybody warned usabout Leo entering preschool and
they're like, get ready, getready.
She's the best one.
Buckle up.
Right?
And we're just, we're goingthrough it.

(01:46):
We're going through whateverybody told us we would,
where we're just, every weekthere's like a different illness
mm-hmm.
That comes across the house andit's.
Interesting.
'cause it's not hitting all ofus.
Mm-hmm.
It'll hit some of us.
Right, right.
And it's just enough to like,take the house down, so it'll be
like she only takes one, one.
Yeah.
It'll be like one week it's Leoand Raj.
The next week it's me and Layla,which is right now.

(02:09):
So that's what's happening.
But to be expected.
And I feel like we're justbuckling up for a crazy cold and
flu season.
So I'm, I'm a little scared,but, um, good times.
I only have one.
We'll get one today, justJoseph's home.
Oh, he has vertigo.
He's so congested.
Honestly, that makes a lot ofsense.

(02:29):
He gets so dizzy and I don'tknow what to give him because
everything is like connected.
When I feel like your head iscongested and then your ears are
like, everything just feelsweird.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
I totally get it.
So he's having a home day today'cause he's.
Toast and I just feel like, Idon't know, these kids are so
busy, like, and yeah, theirweekends are full with like
their own events, their ownsporting events, plus they have

(02:52):
to attend their siblings events.
Mm-hmm.
And then mm-hmm.
They're tired.
Yep.
And then they go to school andthen they have afterschool
activities, and then we havelike piano and tennis and hockey
and squash and this and that andblah, blah.
I'm like, just stay home today.
Do yourself a favor and stayhome.
I know.
Little mental health day.
Just chill.
So we all keep ourselves soslammed and so busy and it's
only a matter of time before youget run down well, I was

(03:13):
noticing that the kids, he andVincent in particular, their
colds were lingering so muchlonger than usual.
Like usually kids bounce back inlike a day or two.
Yeah.
And I've been noticing recentlythat they don't bounce right
back.
No.
They like linger like us, andI'm like, oh my God, you're.
Tired.
Yeah.
You're like, I, it's hard to getover it.
And that's to the club's, that'swhat's been happening where I'm
starting to be like, Layla'sbeen sick and she's obviously

(03:36):
getting the brunt of it becauseshe's the youngest and doesn't
have the best immunity.
And so Leo, I think couldsometimes fight off whatever
he's kind of getting and hebrings it home and she just gets
it.
So I keep saying, wait, is thisa lingering or are we onto
something new?
And who's to say?
Right.
It's a game at this point.
So it's like, what, what illnessare we battling this week?

(03:57):
Yeah.
And this week it's a chest cold,so I apologize for the voice.
I'll try to Good times.
I'll try to use my soft voice.
Oh my gosh.
Well, I guess in that vein todaywe're gonna be going over this
highlight reel.
Yes.
When comparison helps you shineand when it steals your joy.
Mm-hmm.

(04:18):
That's what we're calling thisepisode.
Yep.
And I think it's important forus to share.
Not everything is a high, weshare that for our jobs on
social media.
Mm-hmm.
Like some of it's funny, some ofit like is just more enjoyable
content, but it's not alwayswhat's happening.
Right.
And it sort of could be like alittle bit of a rabbit hole when

(04:39):
you're comparing yourself toeverybody else's highs.
And I think it's importantsometimes to just sort of take a
step back and remind yourself,it sometimes comparison can be
good.
It can help you propel you inthe right direction.
Mm-hmm.
And when does it not?
Right.
I think it can do both.
Sure.
And I don't think, like yousaid, all of it's bad, but I

(05:00):
wanted to kick this off becausewe both watched the Victoria
Beckham documentary.
Yes.
Yeah.
And honestly, that kind of tookme back and surprised me how
much I liked it and how much.
I related to her on some level,and I, let me start by saying,
I've always been a Spice Girlsfan.

(05:21):
Mm-hmm.
Like I'm sure we all have been.
And she was, posh was always mygirl.
Like I feel like you always kindof like gravitate towards one.
You a kid to one.
Well, when she was popular, thatwas in the mid, late nineties.
Yes.
And that was in your performingdays?
Yes.
And so I just always loved her.
I always kind of thought thatshe was kind of the quiet one,
you know?
And so I just always gravitatedmore towards her and her

(05:42):
personality and obviously herlove of fashion and, and dancing
and singing and all that.
So I related to her a lot onthat.
But she's a little bit more likereserved and so you don't really
like get into her like the innerworkings of her a lot and she
doesn't like let everybody in.
Mm-hmm.
And I thought that thisdocumentary did such a good job

(06:03):
of, obviously she produced it,but I feel like it just let us
in and really shed light on somany struggles that she was
going through mm-hmm.
During that entire time.
Right.
And so much of it went back tobecoming a mom.
Yeah.
And so I just was kind of likethat was started off mouth open,
like mic drop, Victoria Beckhamexperienced a lot of what we

(06:26):
talked about here, right?
Yeah.
She talked about how she gotpregnant, spice Girls ended,
they moved to Manchester.
She was all on her own.
She had nobody and she wentthrough this whole rediscovery
and then she moved to the UnitedStates.
She became a wag where likeeverybody on the highlight reel
saw her as this like.
Beautiful.
Like bombshell, like gorgeousliving it up, having the best

(06:48):
time.
Like so her highlight reellooked amazing, right?
And then she became this likevery prominent fashion designer
with a very successful brand.
But everything the documentaryshows, which is nothing that her
highlight reel shows, is likethe struggle of the business,
the struggle of her becoming amom.
And what I'm so much moreinterested is in, in is
everybody's documentary and noteverybody's personal highlight

(07:11):
reel.
Yes.
'cause I think the documentaryactually is so much more
interesting.
Yes.
Because there was so much moregoing on behind the scenes than
I think anybody reallyunderstood at the time.
Right.
There was issues going on withher own identity.
Who is she now?
She was more successful than himand left were they like one of
the biggest girl groups of alltime, if not the biggest girl

(07:33):
group of all time.
Leaves that behind, has starts afamily with him and then her
identity was kind of strippedaway when he started becoming
bigger than her.
Mm-hmm.
From the outside.
And she was just a wag.
And she used that term like Ibecame a wife or girlfriend
mm-hmm.
Of a professional athlete.
And felt like between that andher becoming a mom and the move

(07:57):
she felt that she didn't knowwho she was anymore.
Right.
So she had to go back to thedrawing board, what am I gonna
do now?
I don't wanna go on touranymore.
I don't think that thislifestyle works for me.
I wanna be in fashion.
Right.
I wanna start a line.
And how that wasn't just veryeasy for her to do.
So she took us through thestruggles of, even after she had

(08:20):
the line, there was stillissues.
It wasn't.
Making money.
Mm-hmm.
There was just so much going onbehind the scenes and I loved
that and I feel like that's agood intro to this episode,
right.
Because, well, we were both verydrawn to this documentary.
Mm-hmm.
Because I think that, I don'tknow if it's with age or with
time, you get so much moreinvested into like the behind

(08:41):
the scenes versus what's beingshown.
Yes.
It's like, no, I wanna seewhat's in the back.
Yes.
Like when you go into a Chanelstory, you're like, no, no, I
wanna see what's in the back.
Yes.
I wanna see what's out.
I wanna see what's in the back.
Yeah.
We like the inner workings now,and this documentary is like
what's going on.
Mm-hmm.
In the back.
Mm-hmm.
And it also, the documentaryalso kind of showed her like
side as a mom.
Yes.

(09:01):
She was like, oh, forget aboutparenting.
At this point in my life, it wasjust crowd control.
And I love that she said thatbecause she was a mom, had
little boys at the time.
I don't think she had herdaughter until after the Wags
was over, but.
I'm like, Victoria Beckham istalking about crowd control.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm not so terrible.
I know.
Yes.
It just was a lot more relatableand it wasn't as, I don't wanna

(09:24):
say that I thought it was gonnabe eye roll worthy, but
sometimes you're just like, whatwould these people be
complaining about?
You know what I mean?
Like, they have everything.
But really everyone is just ahuman being at the end of the
day.
And everybody has struggles andit, it doesn't matter what you
have access to.
Yeah.
It just goes to show you Yeah.
You can have access toeverything and not feel
accepted.
She didn't feel accepted intothe fashion world.

(09:44):
Right.
She didn't feel accepted intothe music world.
She said she had bad skin.
She struggled with her weight.
Like she has access toeverything and she has the same
struggles that we have struggleswith.
Yep.
And I, so I just, I loved that.
So if you haven't watched it, wegave you a lot of the juice of
it, but it's a real, it'sdefinitely worth it for I
thought it was great.
For sure.
I don't think you necessarilyneed to be like a 90 Spice Girl

(10:06):
fan to want to watch thisseason.
No, no.
Raja and I watched it and weboth thought it was great.
So definitely recommend that.
And then I ended up buying herjeans.
Did you the, what is it called?
The Alina Jeans.
She talks about them in thedocumentary that's like her
signature Jean.
They like are very elongating.
'cause she's short.
She's, I didn't realize that.
Yeah, she was short.
I always thought she was sotall.

(10:26):
But she said she wears theseAlina jeans and they give you an
illusion of heights.
She looked so good in thedocumentary.
I just like, loved everythingshe was wearing.
She just, I feel like she's justso classy and amazing, love her
so much.
I guess I'll kick it off with aquestion.
When did you last compareyourself to someone online?
Is that something that you dofrequently?
I don't think I just do itonline.

(10:47):
I think I do it in general.
In general.
Mm-hmm.
I think I do it all day long.
I think you have like thousandsof thoughts all day long.
Some you don't even realize thatyou're having.
Mm-hmm.
And I think I compare all day toeverything.
Mm-hmm.
But I can't remember the lasttime I got stuck in a thought.
I think there's a differencebetween comparing, getting stuck
in that comparison thought.

(11:08):
Mm-hmm.
Versus just comparing and thenletting it go.
You know?
So I listened to the audioversion of the Mel Robbins book,
the Let Them Book.
Mm-hmm Book.
And I know people have mixedfeelings of that book.
Mm-hmm.
But in that book, she makes areally good point that.
When you compare.
Mm-hmm.
You can there.
It's not all bad.

(11:29):
You can compare your kids toother kids, but like you can't
compare your kid to this athletethat's just like a natural
athlete that like picks up aball for the first time and is
like a natural athlete.
your kid can practice all daylong.
He's not gonna keep up.
You know, you can't compareyourself to another kid that has
a photographic memory.
Doesn't matter how long they'regonna study or whatever, but
there are things you can do tobetter yourself via comparison.

(11:53):
Right.
I think I'm trying to live inthat world.
Yes.
If there's certain things that Iwant to be better at.
Mm-hmm.
Or do better at or make moremoney or certain things like why
can't I do that?
Right.
So in that case it's likeinspiration, like you can use it
to aspire to.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So to answer your questionthough, I think I probably
compared myself to somebody anhour ago, right when I was on my

(12:15):
phone right before you got here.
I don't think I got stuck in it.
Yeah, they're like sneaky littlethoughts.
And I do think we talk aboutthis all the time too, but just
that we're consumed by contentall day long.
So you're not, it's not justabout who you see out and about
or other parents that you'rekind of comparing yourself to or
your kids to at school becauseyou're consumed in this world

(12:37):
where you can see anybodyanytime from any place in the
world.
And so I think it's easier toget caught up in the comparison,
but I think it's a healthiermindset, right, to do what
you're doing or to what you'retrying to do.
Right.
And keep it to be a good thingto compare, to be more.

(12:57):
Inspiring.
Right.
What about you?
Can you think of onespecifically?
I mean, I think I'm with you.
I would probably say the samething.
It's anytime I'm on my phone.
I'm gonna kind of piggyback juston what you said because that is
the frame of mind I try to bein, is to use it to be like,
well, if I want that, why can'tI have that?
You know, what could I do to getmyself to that level when you're

(13:21):
in a very bad place though, andI set that, that, that kind of
sneaks up on me sometimes.
It depends on what time of themonth it is, what yeah, how I'm
feeling.
But I feel like there are pointswhere if I'm feeling low.
I'll end up on my phone and it'slike a doom scroll where it's
just like everything bothers meand I'll start feeling bad about

(13:42):
myself.
So I really have to kind of keepa boundary with that and like
know when I'm in a healthymindset to kind of scroll and
compare and feel likeinspiration because it could get
dark very quickly for me,really.
So I have to keep that balancefor sure.
Yeah.
Is there one like trigger pointfor you that if you see
something, it can start you downin a dark direction?

(14:04):
Yeah, for obviously because I'ma content creator and
influencer, I think anythinglike quote unquote work related,
like I'll see.
I don't know.
It's a very broad topic.
Yeah.
If I knew I was up for acampaign, for example, if I knew
that I was pitched for somethingand then I see the campaign went
off and I'm not now included init, sometimes I'll be like, oh,

(14:25):
like why didn't I get that?
Why did they choose her?
You know?
I think that's natural.
That's almost like being passedover for a project for work or
something like that.
That's just me being a humanbeing.
But even so with the kids, I,we're not of like school age
where I'm constantly comparingthe kids, you know?
It's not like they're in like,an athletic world or in an

(14:48):
academic world yet where we canbe comparing things.
But what I will say that Icompare as far as like parenting
and being a mom is I will seepeople.
Online or just out and aboutlike with their kids.
And I'll be like, how are theydoing it right?
Like, how are they here withouta meltdown?
How are they traveling?

(15:10):
And if I tried to do that withmy kids, we would have two
simultaneous tantrums and Iwould be having a tantrum.
'cause they're having a tantrum.
And, but don't you, but could itbe though, that the same people
that are sharing that their kidsare also having that same
experience?
They probably are.
That's not shared.
But it's that they're not, notshowing it.
That takes a level of, that'sanother layer.

(15:31):
Awareness of awareness.
Right.
Like you have to be like, okay,they're not showing it, but I'm
sure they have it right.
You have to be in, again, youhave to be in a healthy place to
kind of realize that.
Right.
And like admit that to yourself.
But again, when you're comparingand when you're in that like
doom scrolling feeling Yeah.
It's easy for me to just lookand be like, well that looks

(15:53):
like that's so much easier thanhow I have it right now.
Right.
That's where my mind goes withstuff like that.
Yeah.
I think for me, my biggest, Iguess trigger point is when I
see other people's homes mm-hmm.
And they look tidy and welldecorated.
And that's a good one.
I feel that too.
And clean.
And even when I go to myfriend's houses, this is

(16:14):
probably less online, but evenmore like in real life when I go
to other people's homes thathave like beautiful window
treatments and they, they havelike nice baseboard molding
that's not, and everything'slike cohesive and Yeah.
And everything just looks.
Nice.
Yeah.
And neat.
I'm like, what the actual f myhouse looks like a bomb went off

(16:35):
in it.
And I get so comparison in that,in that sense.
I get very hard on myself when Isee everything, like look nice
and neat in other people'shomes.
Yeah.
When everything looks tooperfect, I just think my home
not even perfect, just likelooks nice.
Looks, yeah.
Like they don't have holes intheir walls like I do.
Or they don't have hockey puckmarks like right on their
baseboard molding.
Or like you open up a cabinetand you're not gonna get like

(16:57):
hit in the face with a glass.
Like at my house.
I feel like that's how we roll.
Yeah.
And I hate that that's how weroll, but I know I can't seem to
get ahead of that.
I think with me it's like thecontent is such a fine line
between, you have all of theselike organizational, reels where
it's like people open upunderneath a cabinet and

(17:18):
everything has a place andeverything is labeled and looks
so amazing and organized and Iaspire to be like that, but
because my house doesn't looklike that, then I immediately go
into kind of a, ugh.
Like it's frustrating to seesomething like that.
So it, it's, well I wanna knowsometimes like how do you get it
to stay like that?
I don't know.
What do you tell your kids?

(17:39):
How do you make your kids feel?
Like, are you, do you haveanxious kids?
Right.
'cause they think they have tobe perfect.
I know.
Am I taking this too far?
I don't know.
Or are you just very clean andtidy and organized?
Right.
Or do you have a full-timehelper?
Like what is the secret?
What's behind the scenes?
What I wanna know.
I know what's happening.
We want the documentary version.
Tell me.
Yep, for sure.

(17:59):
That I totally get it.
That sometimes can be to mydetriment.
Yeah.
Because then I start yelling atmy kids and my husband and I'm
like, you all suck.
Nobody helps me around thishouse.
You're all a bunch of slobs.
Me being the leader of thatpack.
What's a time more recently whenyour life looked more pulled
together than it actually was, Ithink all the time.

(18:21):
Um, which I think that I havejust gotten more comfortable
with showing and sharing.
Yeah.
It's so much more fun to watchtoo, by the way.
Yeah, I, I mean, I still don'teven do it because sometimes I
feel like it's just so chaoticthat I can't even pull out my
phone to capture what is goingon, but I think it's.
It's always been a little bit ofa mess, obviously, since having

(18:43):
kids.
And I just have gotten morecomfortable with sharing the non
perfection and I'm not waitingfor things to be perfect to
share mm-hmm.
Things now.
So it's just, it's there all thetime.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
What about you?
I don't know, because now you'rekind of sharing a lot more like,
yeah, I guess I am, and I don'treally know what I'm doing.

(19:04):
I just feel like that's just howI feel about myself in general
lately.
Like I don't think I have aplan.
Mm-hmm.
I don't think I have a strategy.
I don't think I have like a goalin mind.
I feel like every day is adisaster.
Every day I wake up.
I get the four kids off toschool.
It's like somebody's screamingabout.
Mm-hmm.
Something I like try to laughthrough it.

(19:27):
Some days I yell back at themlike every day is Is just
something, yeah.
Every day is something.
Every day is a fight.
Every day.
Like I'm getting a call from aschool about my kids' behavior,
or, oh, we forgot this, or, oh,you didn't do this.
Like every day I get like, Idon't know, shit on, yeah.
All day.

(19:47):
Yeah.
And then I share funny thingsthat are happening to us.
Right, right.
Because we say sometimes youhave to laugh through it because
otherwise you're gonna crythrough it.
Right.
Those are the options.
I do that.
I do that sometimes too, but Ijust feel like I'm living in
this like puzzled version ofmyself lately.
Like so can you tell me a momentthat maybe would look perfect

(20:09):
from the outside world, butmaybe wasn't?
Well, I think this recent tripthat I went on to Italy, I
shared all these like beautifulpictures of all these amazing
things that we were doing.
But my dog had just died.
I know a few days know before wewent and I was hysterical the
whole trip.
I know.
I was so sad.
I was so, so sad.
But I was like trying to be likepresent in the moment.
'cause I didn't want it to likego by without it looking right

(20:31):
and being good for me.
I know.
And my mom, I know.
And I feel like really behindthe scenes I was a mess.
Such a mess.
Mess.
And I was so sad the whole timewere there.
I know you're trying to put on abrave face and enjoy this trip
that you had plans.
Well, and I was also trying tolike share like the fun stuff
because it was a fun trip.
I didn't wanna share on there.
Like, oh, I'm so sad.

(20:52):
My D died two at the same time.
Two things could be going on atthe same time.
But you had so much pressure forthis trip because you had
planned it for so long.
Right?
There was an unfortunateaccident that had happened right
before your trip.
Right.
And this.
An unexpected passing and youhad to go on, you were gonna go

(21:12):
on this trip and you had to puton a brief feast, which is so
hard, so, right.
I just think like, I don't knowwhat, I like how you always
bring up about like two thingscan be true at the same time.
I feel like that was probablythe best thing you could have
gotten out of therapy for us.
Mm-hmm.
Because I love that mantra, butI don't use it in my digital

(21:34):
life.
Right.
Two things can be true at thesame time.
I still am living and showing bythe fun stuff, the good stuff.
The cute kids.
The silly kids.
I don't show.
Other side.
Right.
Because I think the other side,deep down, I'm like kind of
embarrassed by.
Yeah.
And that side, and it's not, andI don't know if embarrassed is
the right word.
It's the part that I'm juststill not sure about as a

(21:55):
person.
Like, I don't know about thispart of my life.
Like I don't know if this iswhat's supposed to be happening
every day.
I don't know how I feel aboutit.
I don't know if I like theversion of me that just remains
quiet.
I don't like the version of methat eels back.
Like I really don't know how Ifeel about it.
I know, I know.
It's because I think you'retrying to process, as a parent,

(22:15):
as a mom, there's just so muchto process all day.
So it's like you don't even knowhow you're feeling.
I don't know how I feel aboutit.
Yeah.
I, I, I agree with that.
Probably I don't feel greatabout it.
'cause I think if I did feelgreat about it, I would have no
problem.
Like.
Sharing.
Yeah.
When you're a little more securewith how you're feeling, then it
feels natural to share.

(22:36):
Yes.
And when you feel like you're inthe weeds with something you
don't wanna share.
Right.
I think that, that, that's how Iam too.
Yes.
Yeah.
I think that's probably the bestway I can describe it.
Do you feel like since nowyou're stepping into a content
creator type of role, right?
Whether it is, I mean, you'recreating content right now by
sitting in this chair, but evenon social media, do you feel

(22:57):
like any pressure to, to showthings now?
So it's funny, I.
When I think of like a contentcreator, I think of you,
somebody that is very good atsharing, like things she likes,
like you've always had a goodhandle on like fashion and
beauty and travel and likethings that I've always really

(23:19):
enjoyed consuming as a woman,but I enjoy now less of
consuming that type of stuff.
Right.
Right.
'cause I feel like I like to, Idon't know, I like have a good
handle on like what beauty stuffI like now For sure.
I have a good handle on whatkind of like fashion stuff I
like now.
Yeah.
I don't necessarily need to belike influenced in those areas,

(23:41):
but what I'm craving more of isreally more relatability.
Yep.
And so when I see somebodysharing stuff that's relatable,
I wanna consume it.
And I think this podcast was ourstarting point.
Yeah.
For relatability.
Yep.
So I don't, I'd never picturedmyself as somebody that was a
content creator.
And then when you just, onlythrough this podcast.

(24:04):
Mm-hmm.
And I think that Instagram hasbeen a natural extension of the
podcast.
'cause it's a great way forpeople to like, see our clips
Yep.
And connect with us.
Yep.
Behind the scenes and connect.
But I don't know where I fall inthe sharing of stuff yet.
And I also don't know where Ifall into the sharing of my life

(24:24):
yet.
Yeah.
It could get, it's a, first ofall, it's a slippery slope.
And I will say to that point, I,I've been a content creator for
15 years.
I don't have like a territorialissue around that phrase and
what that means.
I think that anybody can createcontent.
I think anybody can be a contentcreator and influencer, so
that's, I feel like that's kindof why I'm asking you because.

(24:46):
You weren't somebody that shareda ton right?
On your Instagram page, and nowsince you've opened up your life
and you started to share on thispodcast, and then Instagram
became an extension of that,people become naturally curious
to know a little bit more.
So you have started to sharejust because when it's like,
once you open up a door, likemore doors open up, right?

(25:09):
Mm-hmm.
You're like, oh, okay, so peoplewanna know about this, or
they'll ask you questions, andso then you feel like more
inclined to share and it justkind of snowballs.
Like as time is going on andyou've had a lot more people
start following you, you know,and we've had like viral videos
on this page where people arelike interested in what we're
talking about.
I, I think I'm just curious assomebody who has recently gotten

(25:31):
into this and not,'cause I thinkfrom my point of view, I've
grown into this for so long andI've seen everything shift, but
you're kind of starting out,like floodgates are open, right?
You're like, okay, like what amI gonna share?
You know?
Whereas I had time to like easeinto what, what I wanna share
and like what boundaries I havearound things because I've been

(25:53):
doing this for so long and I'msecure and kind of like what I
wanna share and what I don't.
Right?
But if you're thrust into thisfrom a viral video, or you're
creating content and startingnow, right?
Mm-hmm.
You're kind of like the world'syour oyster.
Like you're like, what am Igonna share?
Yeah, you're The answer is youdon't know.

(26:13):
The answer is, I don't reallyknow.
Yeah.
And it's not even that I don't.
Feel comfortable sharingsomething because I pretty much
feel comfortable have filterfree sharing everything.
I'm pretty filter free if Ishare everything on this
podcast.
But I guess when I put it onto avideo and I like have to
intentionally put somethingtogether that somebody's gonna
view, then it makes me thinklike, what's the message?

(26:35):
Is the message that you clickand you buy.
Because if the message is onlyclick here to buy, I don't like
that message is the click here.
Like, okay, this is hopeful andfunny and silly, or this is a
knockoff and I love a goodknockoff or a good look for
less.
Mm-hmm.
Like, I like those messages, youknow?
Like I don't really know what mymessage is.

(26:55):
Yeah.
My message is that I'm messy andyou know, my life is a little
messy now you're figuring it outtoo.
Yeah.
Saturday night Nick and I wentout on a date and it was like so
fun'cause he was away for theweek.
Mm-hmm.
I was away the week before.
Mm-hmm.
And we just went on like a dateand I was like, oh my God, this
would be so cute to post andthis and that.
But I like wanted to leave myphone at home.
Mm-hmm.
Because we're supposed to behaving like one-on-one time.

(27:16):
Yeah.
And everything was perfect.
We had like the best night ever.
Nothing was documented.
Right.
Sometimes when I'm documentingthings it's because I have my
phone out because everythinghappening around me is a fucking
shit show.
Right.
And the phone is the escape andI document like stupid shit.
Does that make sense?
It does.
I feel like the concept of likeliving versus documenting could

(27:40):
be its own podcast episode.
And I feel I'm always sointerested in how people do this
in a healthy way.
'cause I think that healthy wayyou can do it, obviously the
answer is you could do it in anunhealthy way.
You could just be documentingand out of them every moment and
picking up your phone and, andnot being present.
I struggle and have alwaysstruggled with documenting

(28:04):
versus living.
For me, it's even after all thistime, it has not come naturally.
So I feel like I quote unquotemiss a lot of like Instagram
worthy moments or content worthymoments because if I am present,

(28:24):
I don't have my phone with me.
Mm-hmm.
And if.
Yes, yes.
I agree.
I echo that and it's hard.
There's so many times I'm like,oh, that would've been such a
good opportunity.
This is a missed opportunity todocument things.
And especially now with thiskind of shift in who I am, I
feel like I'm kind of cominginto like a new version of

(28:46):
myself.
Mm-hmm.
And.
I think that that's beingreflected in some of my content.
Mm-hmm.
But it's also making it harderbecause there were points of my
job where the boundary was very,very clear.
Right.
It was like, I would go out,Marissa m and I talked about
this when she was on here, wherewe would go out and batch shoot

(29:07):
a bunch of content and outfitsand like, that was my content,
right?
I would have content for theweek.
But now that my content is kindof my life and I'm kind of going
more in the lifestyle, contentcreator direction, I feel like
the opportunities for creatingcontent are huge because it's
everything everywhere.

(29:28):
And sometimes you wanna bepresent and sometimes when you
change up the scenery, you'relike.
There's been so many times whereRaj and I have gone on a date
and same exact thing that you'rejust saying.
So I relate to that so much.
You're like, well, I have a cuteoutfit on and we're going to a
new place, and like, the placeis beautiful and so I should be
able to get a picture or like,we could do something funny here
and play off of this and like doa reel or do it.

(29:51):
Couples look together and we, Iwe just don't, and it's because
I don't want to, and I wanna bepresent and I wanna almost
preserve, well, you're choosingyour preserve it, but you're
choosing your actual life overyour shareable moments, right.
For other people to consume.
Right.
Which is the right choice.
But when it's a blurred linewith your job.
You know, I can see how you're,but because a lot of the times I

(30:16):
find inspiration when I'm out ofmy everyday life.
Right.
And that's usually when I'mlike, Ooh, we're somewhere new.
Or like, this is different.
And I feel creatively chargedand inspired.
But at the same time, when I'mgetting those moments now,
because they're so much moreinfrequent than they used to be,
I almost want to just go intothat moment without any

(30:38):
distractions and be present inthat moment.
And so it gets hard.
Right.
Right.
Those lines can get very, veryblurred.
Yeah.
I guess that's another reasonwhy I like doing this podcast,
because it's a creative outlet.
Mm-hmm.
And it's also very boundariedbecause we record once a week.
Right.
We prep for it ahead of time.
Yep.
We discuss and dissect thetopics, and then it gets spliced

(31:01):
up and shared over the course ofthe week, it's not consuming.
It's not all consuming.
Yes.
I can still share my life'causeI'm very comfortable sharing my
life.
It's that I don't feelcomfortable sharing my life
while I'm living it.
Yes.
I think that's sort of my issue.
Yes.
Is that it's not that I feeluncomfortable sharing the stupid
shit my kids are saying anddoing.
It's that I don't feelcomfortable sharing and doing in

(31:26):
real time.
In real time.
That's the pro that you saidthat.
So eloquently.
'cause that is exactly the issuethat I think I've always had
with this type of contentcreation.
Right.
And then to that point, Iunderstand why you don't see
that type of content online.
That is so relatable becauseit's hard to document, hard to

(31:47):
do it and share at the sametime.
It is.
It really is.
And sometimes things happen andyou luckily like catch them and
you can share them.
Right.
But, you know, sometimes like avideo is better than like
retelling a story.
Mm-hmm.
Which on here it's likestorytelling.
I don't really know what I'mdoing on Instagram and social

(32:07):
media.
I like share the things that Ilike.
I share the fines that I like.
I share like some of the stupidthings that happen or, you know,
like relatability things, butyou know, the kids stuff.
It's tricky'cause I have one kidthat's like, do not talk about
me.
And then the other one's like,my daughter's like, how many

(32:27):
views do we have?
Oh.
And she wants to come on thispodcast.
She wrote out questions for youto ask her when she comes on
here.
I love her.
One of the questions she wantsyou to ask her, lemme take a
wild guess who that is.
'cause she's already been in ourmost popular video of all time
that we'll never be able to top.
So hey meals.
She's like, I want Christina toask me.
I love it.
How did you learn how to swim?

(32:48):
How do you fall asleep at night?
And I forget one other, like onelike, what's your favorite food?
It's just personality.
Comfortable.
She just wants to come, comehere and be interviewed.
Comfortable.
Yeah.
She's comfortable.
And it's that that just goes toshow, it's like people are kind
of born with it or not born withit when you're just kind of
comfortable with Yeah.
Sharing.
Yeah.

(33:09):
So let's talk about thecomparison spiral.
Mm.
So when you're not in a goodplace, we're go, we're going
back to that.
This will happen very easily.
Yeah.
Right.
For sure.
Whether you want it to or not.
Yeah.
The sting, when somebody elsehits a milestone, do you feel
like that's happening right nowin our lives?

(33:30):
I, or do you think because ofwhere we are?
I think it's less of, there'sless and less.
I was gonna say, I think that, Idon't know if it's age or the
stage of life that I'm in rightnow, but that doesn't bother me
as much as it used to.
Mm-hmm.
I think that when we were all oflike getting engaged age like
that, that there was pointswhere things would sort of, you

(33:54):
know, feel a little bit morecomparison.
Yeah.
And when people started to havekids, you know, like that, that
was kind of a tricky point forme.
So I've definitely felt all ofthat for sure.
Now I don't feel it as muchbecause I'm also not doing it
with my kids because we're notso immersed in it quite yet, you

(34:16):
know?
Mm-hmm.
But I'm hoping that I won't belike that with my kids, although
I'm sure it's natural to havethat sneak in, you know?
Yeah.
The comparison, yes, itdefinitely is.
If you don't have a goodfoundation of what you expect in
your household.
Mm-hmm.
You know?
Mm-hmm.
Like, I think it's very easy tolive in a town and like, oh, my

(34:37):
kid has to plan the travelteams, but the best elite travel
teams.
'cause other kids do it.
Like, that's a stupid reason.
But do people do that?
Sure.
Of course.
Yeah.
Of course.
Course.
Or Oh no, my kid has to go tothis private school because
that's the next naturalprogression.
Mm-hmm.
Like, well, but why?
Mm-hmm.
You know?
And I think that that comparisontrap can be really easy.
Yep.
Or wait, that kid can go there.

(34:57):
How did they get in?
Mm-hmm.
You know, like that's a bad, Ithink a bad comparison trap.
Right.
And I think it's a bad thing foryour kids to hear you say.
I think we're entering in now.
Yeah.
As my kids get.
Older.
It's interesting how someproblems go from you and then it

(35:17):
kind of like bleeds into thekids, right?
It's, yeah, but it's alwaysrooted in the parents.
It always is.
It's very little about my ownkids.
And more about you.
The right, you right.
So Joseph, this last year, heplays travel hockey.
He didn't make the A team, hemade the B team.
And when he made the B team, I,at first I was like kind of fine
with it.
He was really upset about it.

(35:38):
I feel like it was like a goodthing to happen to him because
at this point in his life, hehad never really been like let
down and I think it was normalfor him to compare himself to
the other kids on the team.
April, may, June, July, go by,we start up again in August, we
all go to the first practice andwe see the kids on the A team.

(36:00):
Mm-hmm.
And.
I started to just get, I wasboiling for him because I was
like, this is so ridiculous.
I, and I can't even believe thatI went there.
Wow.
Because this isn't mypersonality.
Yeah, yeah.
But I went there hard.
I was like, he should be on thatteam.
This is bullshit.
He got cut.
He should have been with thesekids.
He just said, good, da da, dada.

(36:20):
Nick told me, he's like, youbetter get out of this rink.
Get outta here.
You're making this worse.
So I left.
I went home with the girls.
Joseph gets home.
I go, Hey, what's going on?
Tell me, how was it?
He was like, it was amazing.
I love my team.
I love my coach.
I'm so happy.
If I had led you had like, letthis is bs, I would've skewed

(36:42):
his opinion of this whole thing.
Right.
Oh, that's a really good point.
Very quickly.
Yep.
But I let him lead and now I'mlike, this is perfect.
This is the perfect team foryou.
Everything is great because Iled with him.
I think a lot of times as aparent you can like lead with
your own Yeah.
Your own emotions.
Your own emotions.
Yeah.
And then your kids pick up on itand they follow you.
Yep.
I could totally see that.

(37:03):
So I'm not proud of this momentthat I was comparing my kid to
these other kids, you know?
And said, and I can't evenbelieve I almost pulled one of
the, this isn't fair.
Yeah, yeah.
You cut my kid.
Like, I cannot believe that wasme.
Because I feel like I try myhardest to never be that parent.
But I was mm-hmm.
And I almost screwed up Josephfor it.

(37:25):
Do you feel like it's becausewere you taking it on?
Like, were you mad thinking likethat's how you would react if
you were him?
Yes.
Yeah, of course.
It like took me back to like,when I was in seventh grade and
I got cut from a soccer team.
Right.
It's hard not to project ontoyour kids.
Yeah.
It's projection.
That is exactly what it is.
So, but that for sure, so Iguess that for me is like a

(37:46):
trigger of comparison right now.
Mm-hmm.
Through the lens of my kids whenit's not even necessary.
Right.
They don't even have that samelens that I do.
Right.
But they will if I project itonto them.
That's very true..
I do compare myself to otherpeople's careers because I don't
think I have one.
You do.
But I don't think I have one.
I don't have a clear career, youknow?

(38:06):
Like, I think my, because again,that's like an insecurity of
mine.
I think that that's somethingthat can be very easily made
into a comparison.
Mm-hmm.
And I think that's a probably agood point, that when you feel
insecure about something, it'svery easy to compare yourself in
a negative way and not in a goodway.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
That, I think that was like avery very honest admission.

(38:28):
I don't even think I've everheard you say that before.
Yeah.
I mean, it, it's true.
Like, I think I'm very clear inmy roles in this house of being
like a mom of four kids.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
Mm-hmm.
But I don't have very clearroles about my career.
Right.
You know, like Right.
I don't really know if thereever, if I ever intended there
to be a career.
I think my career was in thehospital.

(38:50):
Mm-hmm.
And then I was mom.
Yeah.
And that was my role.
Mm-hmm.
And then I have other, like lotsof hobbies and passions, but I
don't necessarily know ifhobbies and passions equal
career.
Yeah.
Right.
But I think that it, I thinkthat what you said is very
common because we've had peoplesit on this podcast who have
admitted the same thing, whohave been in either that are

(39:12):
older or that are in an olderstage where their kids are
grown.
And I think that when you leaveyour career to become a stay at
home mom, that seems to be anextremely common.
Thing that ends up happening isthat as your kids grow and as
you get quote unquote more timeback, you're like, where does

(39:32):
that leave me?
What do I wanna do?
I still have all this life tolive.
I still have so many things thatI wanna do.
So many passions.
And it seems like that's when alot of people find this like
next chapter of their life,where they start a business,
they start something, right?
Because you're like, not doneyet.
You want a little bit more oflike a creative fuel or a

(39:54):
creative like fulfillment.
The topic at hand here iscomparison.
Mm-hmm.
And I guess I compare myself toother women now who have careers
and are mothering.
Mm-hmm.
At the same time.
Mm-hmm.
I'm, I feel like that's like abig one for me right now.
But I'm sure people might, I'msure people compare.

(40:14):
Themselves to you who you'refortunate enough to be able to
stay home with your kids.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm sure some people feellike they have to work.
Mm-hmm.
You know, and they're unable todo that.
Mm-hmm.
So I think comparison is justthe Feet Co.
Of Joy Co goes both ways.
Yep.
It goes both ways.
I always think that the grass isgreener.
Right.
I always think that it's, youkind of always not, not

(40:38):
necessarily want what you don'thave, but you're like intrigued
by what you don't have.
And the grass always seemsgreener.
You're like, well, what if Ikept my career and was a mom?
And some people might be like,what if I left my career and
stayed home with my kids?
I mean, that's such an honest, Ithink a lot of people have those

(40:59):
same thoughts.
Right.
I really do.
Yeah.
And I guess the answer is youwill never know.
Yep.
But if you're trying toincorporate some of that into
your life.
It might be because you'recomparing yourself to somebody
who has done it ahead of you.
Right.
And you wanna know, okay, wellhow did you do it?
How did you make it work?
Mm-hmm.
I think if you lead withcuriosity mm-hmm.

(41:20):
You know, sometimes that can bea useful tool.
Sometimes, I don't know if Ilead with curiosity or if I lead
with envy when I'm comparingthat's such myself to other
people.
When I think of like women thatare like able to work and able
to mother, I just, oh my God, Iso envy that.
I think that again, back to thisdocumentary piece.

(41:41):
Yeah.
There's so much behind thescenes, like, right.
Sure.
I think everybody has the samestruggles.
I really do.
Yeah.
And I will also say that I kindof dabbled in both Right.
Where I work for myself, so Iknow I'm not like the corporate
career woman who, has toggled,motherhood and a, CEO type of

(42:02):
role, but I work for myself andso those boundaries get slippery
sometimes.
And I will say that when I washome with both of my kids, it
was the hardest job I've everdone in my entire life.
And so I give anybody who ishome with their kids full time,
I commend you because whetherthat's intentional, it was a

(42:24):
intentional decision or whetherthat just is what makes sense
for your family, anunintentional decision.
It, it was the hardest thingthat I have ever done.
And so I just wanna put that outthere.
Yeah, because I, I think thatyou're looking at it as.
Like you're feeling less than,right?
Because you don't have anotherhigh power career alongside of

(42:48):
you.
But what you do day to day istake so much strength and
patience and management.
I was drowning in it.
And I've admitted that here.
And you told me that the wordwas drenched.
I was drenched in it.
I said, yes, that's a nice wayof putting it.
But I was literally drowning.
You were like, actually,Christina.
Yes.
I was drowning, actually.

(43:08):
I was drowning.
And I, I really do think it wasthe hardest thing that I ever
did.
And it wasn't what was best forme.
And that is why I spent the lastyear, like digging myself back
out and having to put so mucheffort to kind of revive my
career and my business.
Mm-hmm.
Because it just wasn't somethingthat I was able to do.

(43:31):
Right.
Full time.
Full time, full time.
It really was so hard.
Yeah.
I think that you don't knowuntil you're really in
something.
Right.
And so, to your point, I thinkthat every single part of
motherhood is hard.
And I think that whether you'rehome with your kids, whether
you're a career woman, togglingwork life balance with your

(43:53):
kids, I, I think all of it isjust hard.
Whether you're somewhere in themiddle, I feel like I'm kind of
somewhere in the middle.
I think it's all really hard tojuggle.
Right.
I don't know why I get so hungup on like rules and titles.
I think everybody does.
I think that that's very common.
You and I don't know why Icompare mm-hmm.
The rules and the titles, and Ialso don't know why it's not

(44:13):
good enough for me to just belike, I'm a mom and I'm home
with my four kids and I takecare of them.
Mm-hmm.
Like, I don't know why thatcan't just be enough for me to
say it.
Well, it should be because it'sso much work.
I le I've seen reels where it.
A mom holding her baby or likewith her kids and it's like you
feel like you've done nothing,but you've done everything

(44:36):
today.
And every time I see that,'causeI'll see it in different
variations and I always thinkit's so powerful because it's so
true.
It doesn't matter what your roleis, like your role of mom is so
much and it's so important.
And so you've done everythingjust by being a mom.
It is so much and it's soimportant.
And then that also leads me to,I am a good mom and I'm a

(45:00):
hands-on mom and I am confidentin that I, everything is for the
kids.
Mm-hmm.
And then I try to be a goodwife.
I try to be a good friend.
Like I feel like the farther yougo down the, the tiered system,
like I get less and less.
So I don't understand how tothen incorporate, like working

(45:20):
about my life in that.
Which is sort of what I'm tryingto do here.
And then continue to still belike a good present mom, which
is what's most important to me.
I get very confused about whatI'm consuming now because I got
a little taste of the other sideof like a little bit of
creation.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm like, when you're tryingto create, you take so much time

(45:41):
away from like the presence ofbeing mom, so I don't understand
how do you still be all in andgood and everything and then
document and share at the sametime?
I think that's why everyonefeels so pulled.
Yes.
And now feel, feel like, and soscattered.
Mm-hmm.
I have this like different lenswhen I watch.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
Yep.
It's almost like it took the joyout of it for me.

(46:03):
Yeah.
Because I got a little taste ofit all and I'm like, oh yeah,
man.
Wow.
I know.
That's really honest.
I don't know.
I, I think because I'm so in themiddle mm-hmm.
I compare myself to stay at homemoms.
Mm-hmm.
Because I am home with my kidsquite a bit.
And then I also compare myselfto.
People who have been in thisspace for as long as they have

(46:26):
been, who have taken like theirjob of content creation and gone
on to like, create hugebusinesses, right?
Empires and, yes, empires.
And I'm somewhat in the middleand I feel like I'm somewhat in
the middle with like, you know,I'm, I'm working for myself, I'm
home with my kids.
It's kind of like in the middle.
I could push myself and a branddeal.

(46:47):
But the further you closer youget to that.
Yep.
Further, the further I am getfrom my kids, from the other
thing, from the kids andeverything.
And then if you wanna pullyourself closer to them, then
you're away from the otherthing.
Yep.
That's how I, it's really hard.
So I'm just living in themiddle.
It's like the scale.
Yep.
It is.
So it's, that's, and that's howI have felt since entering
motherhood.
Yes.
And that's why I've struggled somuch.
Like, yes.
I don't mean struggled withmotherhood, I meant struggling.

(47:09):
I struggled with having both.
I struggled with doing both.
Right.
I have like this visual on myhead of like a, yes.
It's like one of those likedouble sided scales with like,
you know, you're trying tobalance it.
Yep, yep.
You really can't, it's reallyhard.
You have to take something offof one side and put it on the
other.
You can't be everything toeveryone all the time.
And so I think that that's justmotherhood in a nutshell.

(47:32):
It's hard to balance everythingand I think comparing yourself
makes it so much harder becauseyou're consumed by things that
you can compare yourself to, andI hope, I guess my hope is that
you use the comparison to likekind of propel yourself.
I agree.
When, when I think about it andI'm like, what's really more

(47:56):
important to you?
And for me what comes morenatural and what's more
important is honestly being homewith my kids.
Yeah.
I like, I didn't struggle asmuch with it, I think as you,
because I didn't have a careerthat I was being pulled away
from.
I feel like I have this careerthat I'm like, that's pulling at
me a little bit.
Pulling you in.
Right.
That I'm like interested andintrigued about that I wanna

(48:18):
pursue.
Mm-hmm.
But I still like being home.
Yep.
So I'm curious though, Pippa's,honestly we would love if you
guys could send us,'cause we'realways looking for like
different points of view.
'cause obviously t and I canonly share our points of view.
We can only share our point.
Yeah.
And so we're only coming at itfrom like what we know and what
we've experienced.

(48:39):
But if you guys have anybody, Iguess to that point of maybe
like a, like a real careerwoman, I'm calling it like
somebody that.
We could have on, and that wecould talk to about this,
because I think that that's justsomething that a lot of people
struggle with, right.
And I would love another pointof view of somebody who maybe

(49:00):
travels a ton for work and whotries to manage it all at home,
you know?
Right.
I think that that's just sointeresting.
And also how they compare theirself to other people.
Right.
Like I think that that's theinteresting part of piece of
this is like how the comparisonaffects you and what you get out
of it.
Right.
For sure.
We're gonna close out with ourpink spotlight, which is our

(49:22):
person place think, tip, mantra.
That is making life a little bitbetter this week.
T do you have something you canshare?
Okay, so I've listened to apodcast and it talked about
like.
Um, if you can do small things,you can do big things.
Mm.
And I've been like mirroringthis stuff for my kids.
Okay.
So a small thing is we all wakeup, we all make our bed every

(49:44):
morning.
Yeah.
That's like a small thing.
But if we do these small things,then we do big things.
So I'm like a big bed maker.
Mm-hmm.
I like to make my bed and mysheets are like sold and my
duvet cover so old.
So I jumped on the Bolen branchsheet.
Oh, love Bolen branch.
Do you have that?
Yes.
That's what we have on our bag.
Oh my gosh.
I'm obsessed and they are worththe hype.

(50:04):
And now I understand what it'sall about.
They are.
Mm-hmm.
So like a hundred percentcotton, they don't wrinkle.
And I bought pure white.
There's like a little bit oflike a, like a pewter piping.
Ooh.
And so they're like very fresh.
They're very clean.
Actually they're not on my bedright now'cause I just threw
them in the washing machine.
But you can like add bleach toit.
And they like, yeah.
They really bleach and theylike.
Clean up.
So nice.

(50:24):
And they look like so nice andfresh.
I love, so everything is white.
So the sheets are white, thepillowcases are white.
Yep.
The duvet, like everything isjust like white A and fresh
white.
And pretty clean.
And clean.
Yep.
And I love getting into my nicewhite clean bed.
I know we have the same, we havean all white bed and we've had
their stuff for a long time andhonestly they always say like, I

(50:46):
think their tagline is like, itgets softer with each wash.
It literally does like the, wellthis is my first wash.
Yeah.
So I'll, I'll get back to you onthat.
As time goes on, they somehowget softer they're so soft and
so amazing.
And what I also love about themis that they have, I don't know
if you notice this, but theyhave like the head and foot.
On like labeled so that youaren't like, which way do these

(51:07):
go?
Right?
I mean, how freaking simple isthat?
But like, thank you.
Well, also with the duvet cover,I never could figure out like,
is this lengthwise?
Is this horizontal?
Yes.
Like, did I do this right?
And they have the little ties inthe duvet.
So like the ties zipper, thezip.
Oh, it's really easy.
I like it a lot.
So I got the whole set.
It wasn't like cheap.
No, it's not.
It was a little bit of asplurge.
It's an, I wanna say it came tolike$800.

(51:28):
Yeah.
With like the, for the wholething.
Promo code.
But the, I got the whole, I gotthe whole thing.
I got the pillows, the, we got awhole new setup in there.
Yeah.
Bedding is expensive.
It's part of my like routine.
Like we all get up, we all makeour beds.
Yep.
I love it.
Even though my kids now sleep ontop of the sheets and on top of
their comforter so that theydon't have to make the bed so

(51:48):
they don't have to make the bed.
You know what, like leave it tothem.
Know what to be like Yama,whatever.
Made my bed.
Haven't slept in it in months.
Love it.
But anyways, I love my hack.
My pink, I love a hat.
That's my pink spotlight.
so I hope mine isn't toolengthy.
I was gonna do this at thebeginning of the episode, but I
wanted to save it for my pinkspotlight, Oh wait, is this the
health stuff?
Yeah.
Oh yes.
You might remember.

(52:08):
Perk your up ladies that perkyour ears up girl.
So I think it was early on wehad Dr.
Kate from Holistic Health Codeon, and she talked at length
about hormones.
We had a whole hormonediscussion.
It was like one of my favoriteconversations that we've had on
this podcast.
And I vowed to myself and to herI was like, I am gonna go in and

(52:28):
get my hormones checked and do akind of like full panel on
myself to get right.
'cause hers was linked to likeinfertility.
Yes.
And now if your levels aren't incheck your, you have nutrient
deficiencies.
Yes.
You won't be able to getpregnant.
Yep.
Yep.
Also after pregnancy.
Yep.
And we kind of like thatconversation.
This was off air with like, ifyou're not feeling better.

(52:50):
'cause I have been kind of likeraising my hand and being like,
I don't feel right.
And you guys probably know,you've heard me say to multiple
guests that we've had on like,when do you know if like
something still doesn't feelright?
And everyone keeps saying, youknow, like two years is kind of
like the magic numberpostpartum.
So your time is two almost.
She's almost two.
And you're there.
I have just been saying this.

(53:11):
And so I left that conversationwith Dr.
Kate of like, okay.
She's like, hit me up if youstill don't feel right.
And so I was like, you knowwhat, now is the time and.
So I went to Holistic HealthCode, did a full hormone panel.
So I did a urine test, a bloodtest, and I actually did a stool
test.
I did like the entire thing.

(53:31):
I did everything.
And the reason why I dideverything was because obviously
everything is connected, and soI got my results back and I have
never felt more validated in myentire life.
Mm-hmm.
Because what came back wasexactly how I have been feeling.
So I'm gonna kind of read thisbecause it's, it's a lot, and

(53:53):
I'm not gonna get into the nittygritty of it, but basically I
had two pregnancies really closetogether and.
That alone used up so manynutrients in my body.
And then you add in like therecovery, not sleeping, trying
to be present for two littleones.
Running a household, running abusiness.
My body was doing a lot for along time without getting a

(54:16):
chance to fully recover fromeither.
Over that time, all of thestress and the lack of sleep
started to affect my gut.
And my gut is what absorbsnutrients.
And now it's not doing that.
Even when I was eating well andtaking care of myself, my body
wasn't really using what I wasgiving it.

(54:36):
Right.
I kept trying to refuel, but thetank had a leak.
I'm like such a visual person.
Yes.
It's like if you're fueling thecar, but there's a leak.
So once your nutrient levelsdrop low enough, your hormones
start to drop, your energycrashes and you don't feel like
yourself.
Like, that is me.
Right?
Like, that's what I've beensaying.
So that's where I've ended up.

(54:57):
It's like, I'm anxious, I'mexhausted, I'm drained.
And I, I'm like, why the f am Inot feeling that?
So, so do you close the leak?
How do you plug the leak?
So I'm working with Dr.
Kate and I'm trying to rebuildthings in order so that
everything will turn back onagain.
The full testing revealed myhormones are very low.

(55:17):
My stress system is worn outfrom years of being in
overdrive.
My body isn't making enoughcortisol or DHEA, which helps
with energy and stress level.
So that's why you're so tired.
Mm-hmm.
I'm very low in importantvitamins and minerals.
My gut isn't'cause of the gut.
Yes.
My gut isn't absorbing nutrientsproperly.
And I have a bacteria called hpylori, which affects digestion

(55:40):
and iron levels.
So all of this is connected.
So what she's doing is she'sput, she put me on kind of like
an insane supplement protocol.
And it's so funny that I justgot on my Instagram and said,
I'm not really like a supplementgirl.
And literally as we speak,there's like a huge amount of
supplements being delivered tomy house.

(56:00):
And we're going to try toaddress the hormone first, the
hormone levels first, whichhormones are they do, you know?
So estrogen, progesterone andtestosterone are all low.
So all three are low.
All three are low.
So are you gonna go, are yougoing on estrogen, progesterone?
So we're not, what we're tryingto do is we're trying to get
every, like, we're trying to getmy adrenals back because

(56:24):
defeated they produce, and sothen they will.
So it's really kind of aholistic way.
So you're starting from thebottom?
We're starting from the bottom.
Oh.
Then we're gonna add in somelike gut support stuff.
So it's like gonna be verylayered and it's not gonna be a
overnight fix.
Like this is gonna take months.
They said up to a year of kindof just like adding things back
and like starting slow, doingsome retesting to see how

(56:47):
everything is and.
I'm also doing some like vitaminD shots and gonna probably
incorporate some infusions intothe mix, like just to kind of
get my body back.
But my point, and obviously thisis not like a one size fits all,
like what?
What came back on my test is notgonna come back on somebody
else's test.
But I think the moral of thestory is that I knew I did not

(57:09):
feel right.
I feel like, I don't wanna sayeveryone was brushing me off,
but I feel like.
Blanket statement of likepostpartum, it was anxious.
Yes, you're anxious and you knowwhat, you're still in that
postpartum period.
And I was just like, no.
I feel like everyone's notunderstanding.
Postpartum probably caused someof this.
Well, it did, and you can't justcontinue to blame it on the Yes.

(57:32):
It's like, how long can youcontinue to blame?
You have to.
Wow.
Yep.
So I felt very validated.
I think that.
Yes, you wanna give yourselftime, right?
Like you can only give yourselflike time to heal from things.
But I think that once you get toa point where you know
something's not right, you haveto raise your hand.
And if someone's not listeningto you, you have to go to

(57:53):
someone else and find someoneuntil someone does listen to
you.
And Dr.
Kate listened to me and we raneverything.
And she literally called me andwas like, you're not crazy.
So I'm gonna read the resultswith you.
You feel exactly as you should.
Did you do everything with herin person or did you do this
remote?
So because she sees patientsremotely, she does.
She sees patients remotely.
I went in because they're only atown away from us.

(58:15):
Okay.
So I went in the first time, Idid all my blood tests through
Quest.
Did you do it there?
Oh, you went to Quest?
Nope, I went, so she ordered it?
She submits it and orders thatto Quest.
I did my blood tests there.
Was it a lot of blood work?
It was okay, but, and then Idid, all of the other tests came
to my house.
So like, and then I mailed thosein and then she got the results
and went over it.
So this sample mm-hmm.
You do at Quest?
Yep.

(58:35):
Nope, we did that.
You mailed that in?
I mailed that in.
Oh, so I did that and the urinetest at home, mailed those back.
She got all the results.
We went over that on atelehealth call, how long did
all the results take to come in?
So the urine test had to be doneduring cycle day 18.
Okay.
So, because when I ordered it, Ithink I ended up having to wait
until like I had the test withme, but, but couldn't take it.

(58:56):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I would say all of it tookprobably like three-ish weeks.
Okay.
Which is not that bad becausethen we ended up up getting the
test back and so I would saywithin the month, now I'm
starting on a protocol, so ithasn't been like too long.
So how long will you do the,this first step of your regimen
For three months until you seeher for three months.
So you do this three months andthen you'll retest some stuff?

(59:17):
Yep.
We're gonna probably retest someof the, she was saying the sex
hormones, which are estrogen,progesterone, and are there any
like testosterone that she'stelling you to look for?
Or most of them are justsupplements, so there's nothing.
Means your body should benaturally making for you that
it's not.
Yep.
This is so interesting.
It's fascinating.
So I wanna move her back onagain.

(59:38):
I know.
I would love to have her backon.
It's, yep.
So I'm very, very grateful.
So thank you to obviously Dr.
Kate and Holistic Health Code.
This is not sponsored by anymeans.
No, but it is not.
Um, this was something I did allon my own and it was because I
really felt like I needed to,and I'm so glad I did because
everything that I was feelingis.

(01:00:00):
What my body is feeling forreal, right?
This is not mental.
This is literally how my body isfeeling.
So I'm so grateful to have beenable to do it.
Well, you know many people thatare sitting driving their car
right now listening to this arelike, oh shit.
Me too.
Yeah, me too.
Me too.
Me too.
Yeah.
I just want everyone, this is areminder again, I always say
you're the main character too.
Yeah.
If you don't feel right, go dosomething about it.

(01:00:23):
You have to advocate foryourself, like no one's gonna
step in and be like, yeah.
You know, and like overtake yourhealth.
Like you have to be in thedriver's seat to do it.
Well, this is another example ofhow you took matters into your
own hands.
You have to, because nobodyknows what's best than you.
Right.
Right.
Nobody else is gonna do this foryou.
Right, right.
Good job and kudos to you.
For our listeners, go back ifyou haven't, if you are like,

(01:00:43):
new to tuning in, go back andlisten to Dr.
Kate's podcast.
She's great.
She's like this infertilityspecialist.
Yep.
But really, like, we wereprepping her with questions, not
only about like infertility, butlike now.
Yep.
So it's just kind of funny thatyou are here in this spot.
Yes.
If you kind of knew when she washere that day.
Like, and that was a while ago.
I was like, I'm I'm gonna dothis.

(01:01:04):
Be in that chair.
Yeah.
But it just, it took me, Idragged my feet.
It took me a while.
Well, it's a time and moneyinvestment.
Yep.
You have to be in the rightspace to do that.
Yep.
You have to be ready toprioritize your health.
Yep.
You can't let those supplements,supplement supplements sit on
your counter.
You have to be ready to takethem.
Yep.
And you are.
So, I'm so excited to see what'snext for you.
I am, yeah.
So I'll, I'll make sure toupdate everybody if you're
interested in that type ofthing.

(01:01:25):
And then we will leave, Dr.
Kate's episode in our shownotes.
So if you haven't listened tothat, we'll link it so that you
can,'cause that was fascinating.
Fascinating.
So thank you guys for tuning in.
Yeah, we will.
See you guys next week.
See you next week.
Bye

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