June 2, 2025 • 22 mins
Understanding the Impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and Pathways to Healing
In this episode of PsyberSpace, host Leslie Poston digs into the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) test, a 10-question survey that uncovers the hidden impacts of childhood trauma on adult health and well-being. Leslie explains how high ACE scores correlate with numerous physical and mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, chronic illnesses, and reduced life expectancy. The episode explores the biological effects of trauma on the brain and body, how trauma manifests in the workplace, relationships, and parenting, and the importance of trauma-informed healthcare. Additionally, Leslie discusses various therapeutic approaches, including somatic therapy and EMDR, that assist in healing from trauma. The episode concludes with actionable advice for those with high ACE scores, emphasizing patience in the healing journey and the potential for post-traumatic growth.
00:00 Introduction to ACE Test
01:47 Origins and Impact of ACE
04:38 Trauma and the Brain
07:23 Trauma in Daily Life
12:18 Medical Implications of Trauma
15:50 Healing and Recovery
18:18 Practical Steps for Healing
21:29 Conclusion and Resources
References
Bethell, C. D., Jones, J., Gombojav, N., Linkenbach, J., & Sege, R. (2019). Positive childhood experiences and adult mental and relational health in a statewide sample: Associations across adverse childhood experiences levels. JAMA Pediatrics, 173(11), e193007.
Burke, S. A. (2024). Exploring the long-term impact of childhood trauma: Unseen consequences and paths to healing. International Journal of Psychiatry Research, 7(4).
Chen, M. A., LeRoy, A. S., Majd, M., Chen, J. Y., Brown, R. L., Christian, L. M., & Fagundes, C. P. (2021). Immune and epigenetic pathways linking childhood adversity and health across the lifespan. Frontiers in Psychology, 12, 788351.
Copeland, W. E., Shanahan, L., Hinesley, J., Chan, R. F., Aberg, K. A., Fairbank, J. A., van den Oord, E. J. C. G., & Costello, E. J. (2018). Association of childhood trauma exposure with adult psychiatric disorders and functional outcomes. JAMA Network Open, 1(7), e184493.
Dell, P. F., & O’Neil, J. A. (Eds.). (2009). Dissociation and the dissociative disorders: DSM-V and beyond. Routledge.
Felitti, V. J., Anda, R. F., Nordenberg, D., Williamson, D. F., Spitz, A. M., Edwards, V., Koss, M. P., & Marks, J. S. (1998). Relationship of childhood abuse and household dysfunction to many of the leading causes of death in adults: The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 14(4), 245–258.
Greenman, P. S., Renzi, A., Monaco, S., Luciani, F., & Di Trani, M. (2024). How does trauma make you sick? The role of attachment in explaining somatic symptoms of survivors of childhood trauma. Healthcare, 12(2), 203.
Grummitt, L. R., Kreski, N. T., Kim, S. G., Platt, J., Keyes, K. M., & McLaughlin, K. A. (2021). Association of childhood adversity with morbidity and mortality in US adults. JAMA Pediatrics, 175(12), 1269–1270.
Herzog, J. I., & Schmahl, C. (2018). Adverse childhood experiences and the consequences on neurobiological, psychosocial, and somatic conditions across the lifespan. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 9, 420.
Klinger-König, J., Erhardt, A., Streit, F., et al. (2024). Childhood trauma and somatic and mental illness in adulthood—Findings of the NAKO health study. Deutsches Ärzteblatt I
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Leslie Poston (00:11):
Welcome back to PsyberSpace. I'm your host,
Leslie Poston. Today, we'retalking about a test that's been
quietly shaping lives fordecades. It's not a test you
study for, and it's not one youtake in school, but its score
can influence your health, yourrelationships, your work life,
and even how long you live. I'mtalking about the ACE test.
(00:34):
ACE stands for adverse childhoodexperiences. It's a short
questionnaire, only 10questions. Each question asking
about a kind of hardship youmight have faced as a kid. That
could be abuse, neglect,addiction in the home, a parent
going to jail, that sort ofthing. The more yes answers you
check off, the higher yourscore.
(00:56):
The higher your score, the morelikely you are to struggle in
adulthood, not just emotionallyor mentally, but physically too.
This isn't just psychology, it'sbiology. And what's wild is that
this test has been around sincethe nineties, but many people
still haven't heard it. Or ifthey have, they don't realize
(01:17):
just how much it explains. So inthis episode, we're going to
talk about what the ACE scorereally is.
We'll look at how trauma rewiresthe brain and the body. We'll
talk about how it shows up inyour job, love life, and
friendships. We'll explore whytrauma doesn't just live in your
memories, but also in yourmuscles, breath, and gut. And
(01:38):
we'll end with somethingimportant, what healing looks
like, what you can do if thisepisode hits close to home.
Let's start at the beginning.
In the nineties, a researcher atKaiser Permanente noticed
something odd. Patients who werestruggling the most with things
like obesity, diabetes, heartdisease, or depression also
(02:02):
tended to have really difficultchildhoods. So he partnered with
the CDC. They surveyed over17,000 people, and they asked
about 10 categories of adversityin childhood. These categories
included physical, emotional,and sexual abuse emotional and
physical neglect, and five kindsof household dysfunction.
(02:25):
Those are things like having aparent who abused substances, a
parent who was incarcerated ordivorced, mental illness in the
home with any relative, orviolence between any adult in
the household. Each yes answerbecame one point, and they
called this your ACE score. Zeromeans you had little to no
(02:45):
exposure to these 10 things.Four or more are where the risks
begin to climb sharply. Peoplewith an ACE score of four or
more are significantly morelikely to experience anxiety,
depression, addiction,autoimmune disease, cancer, and
even early death.
People with a score of six orhigher, the research shows their
(03:08):
life expectancy drops by as muchas twenty years. But here's the
thing. Trauma isn't always aboutthe big obvious things.
Sometimes it's about what wasmissing. So a child who was
never hit, but was constantlyignored or a child who never saw
violence, but also never feltsafe.
(03:30):
Trauma can be loud, sure, but itcan also be quiet. What matters
is what it did to your nervoussystem. It's also important to
say trauma is not just personal.It's not always about what
happened inside your house. Itcould also be about the systems
around you.
If you grew up in a neighborhoodwhere violence was common or
(03:52):
where your school didn't feelsafe or where poverty meant
basic needs weren't met, thatshapes your development too. And
if you were part of amarginalized group, whether
race, gender, sexuality,disability, or immigration
status, you may have carriedstress that was chronic and
unavoidable. That kind ofstructural trauma doesn't show
(04:14):
up in the original 10 ACEquestions, but it should.
Researchers now call theseexpanded experiences community
level ACEs. They add layers ofrisk and complexity that are
often overlooked.
Healing from trauma meanshumming the individual, but also
challenging the systems thatproduce harm. The brain develops
(04:39):
rapidly in childhood. Thoseearly years are when we build
the wiring for safety,connection, and emotional
regulation. When a child growsup in a chaotic, threatening, or
neglectful environment, thatwiring gets altered. Sure, the
brain learns to survive but notto thrive.
(04:59):
It learns that the world isunpredictable and that people
aren't safe. Love might hurt orpeople in love might disappear.
The amygdala becomeshyperactive. That's the part of
the brain that detects danger.The hippocampus, which helps
with memory and learning, oftenshrinks.
The prefrontal cortex, the partresponsible for decision making
(05:21):
and impulse control, can beunderdeveloped. These changes
don't just fade with time. Theyshape how we respond to stress,
how we relate to others, and howwe see ourselves. There's also
something called the window oftolerance. It's the range where
your nervous system can handlestress without tipping into
(05:41):
panic or shutting down.
People with lower ACE scorestend to have a wider window of
tolerance. Stressful thingshappen and they can respond
without losing their sense ofsafety. But people with higher
ACE scores often have a verynarrow window of tolerance. A
small trigger can lead tohyperarousal, which is anxiety,
(06:01):
anger, and panic, or it cancause hypoarousal where you go
numb, freeze, or dissociate.It's not a personality flaw.
It's how your nervous system wastrained. The good news is that
window can expand. With support,with regulation practices, with
healing relationships, your bodycan learn that safety is
(06:23):
possible again. So let's talkmore about the body because
trauma doesn't just live in yourthoughts. It lives in your
tissues.
When your body spends years in ahigh alert state, flooded with
stress hormones like cortisol oradrenaline, it starts to wear
down. Inflammation increases,the immune system weakens, your
(06:44):
blood pressure rises, and yourgut becomes sensitive while your
muscles stay tight andrestricted. And that's why
people with higher ACE scoresare much more likely to develop
chronic illnesses, not becausethey're imagining things, but
because their systems have beenoverloaded from a young age.
Researchers have even foundchanges at the genetic level.
(07:06):
Childhood stress can affect howgenes related to inflammation
and immunity express themselves.
The field study in this iscalled epigenetics, and it's
still growing, but what it'salready showing is clear: trauma
changes your body. So what doesthis look like in everyday adult
life? Let's take work. For a lotof people with higher ACE
(07:30):
scores, work feels threatening,not because their job is bad,
but because the workplacemirrors the unpredictability
they experience growing up. Acritical manager can feel like
the parent who yelled.
A missed deadline can feel likea failure that might lead to a
punishment. Office politicsmight bring up memories of
(07:51):
walking on eggshells throughtheir home. These reactions
aren't just emotional. They'reso physical. The heart is
racing.
The muscles are tense. Yourbreathing becomes shallow, and
your focus at work becomesdifficult. Decision making can
feel paralyzing because thetraumatized brain is constantly
scanning for threats instead ofprocessing information. You
(08:14):
might find yourself overthinkingsimple choices or avoiding
decisions altogether. Somepeople describe feeling like
they're watching themselves workfrom outside their body, going
through the motions, but notfully present.
Some people cope by becominghyperproductive. They never
rest. They always try to provetheir worth. Others withdraw and
(08:37):
might miss deadlines, strugglewith teamwork, not because
they're lazy or unmotivated, butbecause their nervous system is
overwhelmed. Trauma often makespeople feel like they're either
too much or not enough, and workbecomes the arena where that
internal battle plays out.
There's also the pattern ofperfectionism paired with
(08:58):
impostor syndrome. People withhigh ACE scores often become
high achievers, but they can'tinternalize their success. Every
accomplishment just feels likeluck or fraud. They work twice
as hard to feel half as worthy.And when they do receive praise,
they might dismiss it or waitfor the other shoe to drop.
(09:19):
And then there's the socialdynamics at work. People with
trauma histories might struggleto read workplace cues
correctly. A neutral email feelshostile. A closed door meeting
triggers abandonment fears. Theymight overshare personal
information too quickly, tryingto build connection, or stay
completely isolated to avoidpotential rejection.
(09:40):
Networking events, teambuilding, and even casual
conversations by the coffeemachine can feel like navigating
a minefield. Career trajectoriesoften reflect this internal
struggle too. Some people becomeserial job hoppers, leaving
whenever things getuncomfortable or before they can
be rejected or before they canbe rejected. Others stay in
(10:03):
toxic environments far too longbecause chaos feels normal. Many
underachieve professionally, notbecause they lack talent, but
because success feels dangerousor undeserved.
Now think about relationships.People with high ACE scores
often struggle with attachmentor the way we form emotional
(10:25):
bonds. If caregivers wereunreliable, abusive, or
emotionally distant, their brainhas learned that love isn't
safe, and that people can't betrusted, and potentially that
it's better to protect yourselfthan to be vulnerable. So in
adulthood, their relationshipscan feel confusing. Someone gets
(10:45):
too close and panicked that'sit, or they fall into
relationships that are chaoticor controlling because that
feels familiar.
Maybe they cling too tightly orpush people away. Not because
they don't want a connection,but because connection feels
dangerous. Even friendships canbe hard. A friend who cancels
plans might trigger feelings ofabandonment, and a disagreement
(11:08):
might feel catastrophic. Peoplecould say you're overreacting,
but the body remembers, and it'sreacting as if the danger is
still present.
Then there's parenting. Peoplewith higher A scores often
struggle with parenting, notbecause they're bad parents, but
because they're trying to givewhat they never got. They may be
(11:29):
determined to break the cycle,but they find themselves
triggered by their child'semotions or falling into
patterns they swore they'davoid. This doesn't mean they're
failing. It means still healing.
And trauma doesn't just stopwith one generation. Studies
show that parents with higherACE scores are more likely to
raise children who alsoexperience adversity. And this
(11:50):
isn't about blame it's aboutbiology and behavior. A parent
struggling with emotionalregulation may unintentionally
pass on that same dysregulation,but the reverse is also true.
Healing your trauma caninterrupt the cycle.
It's called intergenerationalrepair. Even small changes like
learning to pause beforereacting can ripple forward into
(12:13):
the next generation, makingthings better. Let's look at the
medical side. Many people withtrauma histories go through
years of chronic illness withoutgetting any clear answers.
They're often told it's all intheir head or that their pain
doesn't match the lab, theirlabs are normal, that they're
too young to feel this bad, ormaybe they have, quote, anxiety.
(12:38):
But studies show a clear linkbetween early trauma and
conditions like fibromyalgia,irritable bowel syndrome,
chronic fatigue, migraines,autoimmune disease, and much
more. Trauma doesn't just causeemotional pain, it causes
physical suffering. People withhigher ACE scores often report
something else too, beingdismissed by doctors. They're
(13:00):
told their symptoms are juststress, that they're too young
to be sick. This is sometimescalled medical gaslighting, and
it's not always intentional, butit is always harmful.
Women, especially women ofcolor, are the most likely to be
dismissed this way, and so arepeople with chronic pain,
fatigue, and other hard toquantify conditions. What gets
(13:21):
missed is that these symptomsoften are stress related, but
not in the just relaxed sense.There are biological
consequences of years of trauma.So when medical professionals
aren't trauma informed, patientsfall through the cracks and get
labeled difficult. Thesepatients stop seeking care, and
their health worsens.
(13:42):
Trauma informed health caredoesn't mean blaming trauma for
everything. It means askingbetter questions. As in, not
what's wrong with you, but whathappened to you? One of the most
frustrating things about traumais that it often hides. People
don't always remember whathappened, especially if the
trauma occurred before theirbrain was mature enough to
(14:03):
process it.
But their body remembers. Itremembers in their tight
shoulders, their clenched jaw,in restless sleep or insomnia,
in stomach problems, in chronicasthma or difficulty breathing,
a chronic exhaustion no amountof rest seems to fix. Some
people also experiencedissociation. That's when you
(14:26):
feel disconnected from yourbody, your surroundings, or even
your own thoughts sometimes. Forsome, it can feel like zoning
out or losing time or watchingyour life like a movie.
Dissociation is the body's wayof protecting you when it thinks
something's too much for you tohandle. One reason ACE scores
are so predictive of laterhealth outcomes is their
(14:47):
connection to coping behaviors.People with higher ACE scores
are more likely to smoke,overeat, drink heavily, or
engage in risky sexual behavior.These aren't moral failings,
survival strategies. They'reways to numb pain, to regulate
emotion, or to find andexperience a feeling of fleeting
(15:08):
control.
The problem isn't the behavior,it's what the behavior is trying
to solve. Until that isaddressed, the coping may
continue even if it causes moreharm long term. One of the most
overlooked effects of childhoodtrauma is sleep disruption.
People with high ACE scores aremore likely to have insomnia.
(15:31):
Nightmares are a light, restlesssleep pattern.
Not because they're doingsomething wrong, but because
their nervous system never fullysettles at night. When the brain
has been trained to stay alertfor danger, it doesn't just shut
off because it's bedtime. Goodsleep hygiene helps, but trauma
work is often what makesdepressed possible again. That's
why some people find talktherapy helpful, but others feel
(15:54):
stuck. Because trauma isn't justabout your story, it's about
your body, your nervous system.
It's about those sensations thatnever got completed and emotions
that never got processed. That'swhere something like somatic
therapy comes in. Somatictherapies focus on what the body
is doing, not just what the mindis thinking. They help people
(16:14):
learn to notice theirsensations, to reconnect with
their bodies, and to completestress responses that got stuck.
Therapies like somaticexperiencing, sensorimotor
psychotherapy, and others workwith these systems directly.
And there's also EMDR, eyemovement desensitization and
reprocessing. It helps the brainreprocess traumatic memories so
(16:38):
they don't feel as intense. Itdoesn't erase the memory, but it
helps separate the past from thepresent. EMDR uses a rhythmic
movement like guided eye motionto help your brain make new
associations, kind of crossingthe streams inside the brain to
remap the memories and thefeelings associated with them.
(17:00):
Many people who felt struck foryears have found relief through
this method.
And then there's polyvagaltheory, which explains how your
vagus nerve helps regulate oursense of safety. And when we
feel safe, we can connect, thinkclearly, and rest. And when we
feel threatened, our body shutsdown or goes into overdrive. And
that's why things like breathwork, singing, humming, cold
(17:22):
water, or safe touch can allhelp. They all tell your body
you're safe now.
Your brain's ability to changeis called neuroplasticity, and
it doesn't just happen inchildhood. Even in adulthood,
your brain can grow newconnections. Isn't that cool?
The nervous system can learn newpatterns. What that means is
(17:44):
healing from trauma isabsolutely possible.
And there's another concept topost traumatic growth. Some
people, after going throughtherapy or doing body based
healing work, report becomingmore emotionally connected, more
compassionate, and moregrounded. Not because trauma is
a gift, if not, but because theyhad to rebuild from the inside
(18:06):
out, they got to decide whatkind of life they wanted on the
other side. Research shows thatwith the right support, people
can and do change and not justsurvive, but thrive. If anything
in this episode sounds and feelsfamiliar, there are a few things
you can do.
First, get curious about yourACE score. It's not a diagnosis.
(18:29):
It's not a label. It's justinformation. There are free ACE
quizzes online.
I'll put a couple links in theshow notes. They take about two
minutes, and they can help yousee patterns you might have
missed. Second, start noticinghow your body reacts to stress.
Not what you think, but what youfeel. Do your shoulders tighten?
Does your breath stop? Does yourjaw clench? That's your body
(18:51):
communicating with you, and it'sworth listening. Journaling
through this process can helpyou connect physical feeling to
emotional feeling as well. Andthird, experiment with grounding
techniques, things that bringyou back into the present.
That might be as simple asputting your feet flat on the
floor or taking a slow breath inthrough the nose and letting it
(19:13):
out through the mouth, doingtimed breathing like in for
four, hold for four, and let outfor seven count, or looking
around the room and naming fivethings you see. These things
sound simple, but for a nervoussystem that's stuck in survival
mode, they can be a quick,powerful way to reset. Fourth,
(19:33):
if you're ready, find a traumainformed therapist. Not all
therapy is created equal. Someapproaches focus only on
thoughts, but trauma is storeddeeper, so look for someone
trained in EMDR, somatic work,or trauma focused cognitive
behavioral therapy.
There are websites online thatcan help you find this, or if
(19:54):
you are lucky enough to haveinsurance, your insurance
company probably has a list oftherapists that list their
specialties. Be sure to calltheir office and find out more
information so you'recomfortable before you. There's
also some hopeful research onwhat are called positive
childhood experiences or PCEs.These include things like having
a trusted adult who believes inyou, feeling safe at school, or
(20:17):
having a sense of belonging inyour community. Studies show
that even when people had highACE scores, those that also had
high PCEs were more resilient,less likely to develop
depression or PTSD.
So if you're parenting now ormentoring someone younger, know
this (20:34):
your present, your consistency, and your belief in
someone might be the buffer thatchanges whatever they're
experiencing at home. Andlastly, be patient. Healing is
not linear. Some days will feellike progress, and others will
feel like relapse. That's notfailure.
Your body's just learning how tofeel safe again, and that takes
(20:55):
time. And if your a score ishigh, I want you to know
something. You're not broken.You are not weak or defective.
You adapted to overwhelmingcircumstances, and those
adaptations helped you survive.
They were smart, but now you getto decide if they're still
(21:16):
serving you. There's a quotethat I love that says, you are
not what happened to you. Youare what you choose to become.
And that doesn't mean ignoringthe past. It means understanding
it, working with it, andchoosing to move forward.
Thanks for listening to thisepisode of PsyberSpace. I'm your
host, Leslie Poston, signingoff. I'll include links to the
(21:37):
ACE quizzes to somaticresources, therapist
directories, and sub studies inthe show notes for anyone who
wants to dig deeper. And if thisepisode resonated or helped you
understand yourself or someoneyou care about, do share it. You
never know who might be walkingaround with a high ACE score
wondering why everything feelsso hard.
(21:58):
Don't forget to subscribe andget this in your inbox every
Monday. And as always, staycurious.
Welcome back to PsyberSpace. I'm your host,
Leslie Poston. Today, we'retalking about a test that's been
quietly shaping lives fordecades. It's not a test you
study for, and it's not one youtake in school, but its score
can influence your health, yourrelationships, your work life,
and even how long you live. I'mtalking about the ACE test.
(00:34):
ACE stands for adverse childhoodexperiences. It's a short
questionnaire, only 10questions. Each question asking
about a kind of hardship youmight have faced as a kid. That
could be abuse, neglect,addiction in the home, a parent
going to jail, that sort ofthing. The more yes answers you
check off, the higher yourscore.
(00:56):
The higher your score, the morelikely you are to struggle in
adulthood, not just emotionallyor mentally, but physically too.
This isn't just psychology, it'sbiology. And what's wild is that
this test has been around sincethe nineties, but many people
still haven't heard it. Or ifthey have, they don't realize
(01:17):
just how much it explains. So inthis episode, we're going to
talk about what the ACE scorereally is.
We'll look at how trauma rewiresthe brain and the body. We'll
talk about how it shows up inyour job, love life, and
friendships. We'll explore whytrauma doesn't just live in your
memories, but also in yourmuscles, breath, and gut. And
(01:38):
we'll end with somethingimportant, what healing looks
like, what you can do if thisepisode hits close to home.
Let's start at the beginning.
In the nineties, a researcher atKaiser Permanente noticed
something odd. Patients who werestruggling the most with things
like obesity, diabetes, heartdisease, or depression also
(02:02):
tended to have really difficultchildhoods. So he partnered with
the CDC. They surveyed over17,000 people, and they asked
about 10 categories of adversityin childhood. These categories
included physical, emotional,and sexual abuse emotional and
physical neglect, and five kindsof household dysfunction.
(02:25):
Those are things like having aparent who abused substances, a
parent who was incarcerated ordivorced, mental illness in the
home with any relative, orviolence between any adult in
the household. Each yes answerbecame one point, and they
called this your ACE score. Zeromeans you had little to no
(02:45):
exposure to these 10 things.Four or more are where the risks
begin to climb sharply. Peoplewith an ACE score of four or
more are significantly morelikely to experience anxiety,
depression, addiction,autoimmune disease, cancer, and
even early death.
People with a score of six orhigher, the research shows their
(03:08):
life expectancy drops by as muchas twenty years. But here's the
thing. Trauma isn't always aboutthe big obvious things.
Sometimes it's about what wasmissing. So a child who was
never hit, but was constantlyignored or a child who never saw
violence, but also never feltsafe.
(03:30):
Trauma can be loud, sure, but itcan also be quiet. What matters
is what it did to your nervoussystem. It's also important to
say trauma is not just personal.It's not always about what
happened inside your house. Itcould also be about the systems
around you.
If you grew up in a neighborhoodwhere violence was common or
(03:52):
where your school didn't feelsafe or where poverty meant
basic needs weren't met, thatshapes your development too. And
if you were part of amarginalized group, whether
race, gender, sexuality,disability, or immigration
status, you may have carriedstress that was chronic and
unavoidable. That kind ofstructural trauma doesn't show
(04:14):
up in the original 10 ACEquestions, but it should.
Researchers now call theseexpanded experiences community
level ACEs. They add layers ofrisk and complexity that are
often overlooked.
Healing from trauma meanshumming the individual, but also
challenging the systems thatproduce harm. The brain develops
(04:39):
rapidly in childhood. Thoseearly years are when we build
the wiring for safety,connection, and emotional
regulation. When a child growsup in a chaotic, threatening, or
neglectful environment, thatwiring gets altered. Sure, the
brain learns to survive but notto thrive.
(04:59):
It learns that the world isunpredictable and that people
aren't safe. Love might hurt orpeople in love might disappear.
The amygdala becomeshyperactive. That's the part of
the brain that detects danger.The hippocampus, which helps
with memory and learning, oftenshrinks.
The prefrontal cortex, the partresponsible for decision making
(05:21):
and impulse control, can beunderdeveloped. These changes
don't just fade with time. Theyshape how we respond to stress,
how we relate to others, and howwe see ourselves. There's also
something called the window oftolerance. It's the range where
your nervous system can handlestress without tipping into
(05:41):
panic or shutting down.
People with lower ACE scorestend to have a wider window of
tolerance. Stressful thingshappen and they can respond
without losing their sense ofsafety. But people with higher
ACE scores often have a verynarrow window of tolerance. A
small trigger can lead tohyperarousal, which is anxiety,
(06:01):
anger, and panic, or it cancause hypoarousal where you go
numb, freeze, or dissociate.It's not a personality flaw.
It's how your nervous system wastrained. The good news is that
window can expand. With support,with regulation practices, with
healing relationships, your bodycan learn that safety is
(06:23):
possible again. So let's talkmore about the body because
trauma doesn't just live in yourthoughts. It lives in your
tissues.
When your body spends years in ahigh alert state, flooded with
stress hormones like cortisol oradrenaline, it starts to wear
down. Inflammation increases,the immune system weakens, your
(06:44):
blood pressure rises, and yourgut becomes sensitive while your
muscles stay tight andrestricted. And that's why
people with higher ACE scoresare much more likely to develop
chronic illnesses, not becausethey're imagining things, but
because their systems have beenoverloaded from a young age.
Researchers have even foundchanges at the genetic level.
(07:06):
Childhood stress can affect howgenes related to inflammation
and immunity express themselves.
The field study in this iscalled epigenetics, and it's
still growing, but what it'salready showing is clear: trauma
changes your body. So what doesthis look like in everyday adult
life? Let's take work. For a lotof people with higher ACE
(07:30):
scores, work feels threatening,not because their job is bad,
but because the workplacemirrors the unpredictability
they experience growing up. Acritical manager can feel like
the parent who yelled.
A missed deadline can feel likea failure that might lead to a
punishment. Office politicsmight bring up memories of
(07:51):
walking on eggshells throughtheir home. These reactions
aren't just emotional. They'reso physical. The heart is
racing.
The muscles are tense. Yourbreathing becomes shallow, and
your focus at work becomesdifficult. Decision making can
feel paralyzing because thetraumatized brain is constantly
scanning for threats instead ofprocessing information. You
(08:14):
might find yourself overthinkingsimple choices or avoiding
decisions altogether. Somepeople describe feeling like
they're watching themselves workfrom outside their body, going
through the motions, but notfully present.
Some people cope by becominghyperproductive. They never
rest. They always try to provetheir worth. Others withdraw and
(08:37):
might miss deadlines, strugglewith teamwork, not because
they're lazy or unmotivated, butbecause their nervous system is
overwhelmed. Trauma often makespeople feel like they're either
too much or not enough, and workbecomes the arena where that
internal battle plays out.
There's also the pattern ofperfectionism paired with
(08:58):
impostor syndrome. People withhigh ACE scores often become
high achievers, but they can'tinternalize their success. Every
accomplishment just feels likeluck or fraud. They work twice
as hard to feel half as worthy.And when they do receive praise,
they might dismiss it or waitfor the other shoe to drop.
(09:19):
And then there's the socialdynamics at work. People with
trauma histories might struggleto read workplace cues
correctly. A neutral email feelshostile. A closed door meeting
triggers abandonment fears. Theymight overshare personal
information too quickly, tryingto build connection, or stay
completely isolated to avoidpotential rejection.
(09:40):
Networking events, teambuilding, and even casual
conversations by the coffeemachine can feel like navigating
a minefield. Career trajectoriesoften reflect this internal
struggle too. Some people becomeserial job hoppers, leaving
whenever things getuncomfortable or before they can
be rejected or before they canbe rejected. Others stay in
(10:03):
toxic environments far too longbecause chaos feels normal. Many
underachieve professionally, notbecause they lack talent, but
because success feels dangerousor undeserved.
Now think about relationships.People with high ACE scores
often struggle with attachmentor the way we form emotional
(10:25):
bonds. If caregivers wereunreliable, abusive, or
emotionally distant, their brainhas learned that love isn't
safe, and that people can't betrusted, and potentially that
it's better to protect yourselfthan to be vulnerable. So in
adulthood, their relationshipscan feel confusing. Someone gets
(10:45):
too close and panicked that'sit, or they fall into
relationships that are chaoticor controlling because that
feels familiar.
Maybe they cling too tightly orpush people away. Not because
they don't want a connection,but because connection feels
dangerous. Even friendships canbe hard. A friend who cancels
plans might trigger feelings ofabandonment, and a disagreement
(11:08):
might feel catastrophic. Peoplecould say you're overreacting,
but the body remembers, and it'sreacting as if the danger is
still present.
Then there's parenting. Peoplewith higher A scores often
struggle with parenting, notbecause they're bad parents, but
because they're trying to givewhat they never got. They may be
(11:29):
determined to break the cycle,but they find themselves
triggered by their child'semotions or falling into
patterns they swore they'davoid. This doesn't mean they're
failing. It means still healing.
And trauma doesn't just stopwith one generation. Studies
show that parents with higherACE scores are more likely to
raise children who alsoexperience adversity. And this
(11:50):
isn't about blame it's aboutbiology and behavior. A parent
struggling with emotionalregulation may unintentionally
pass on that same dysregulation,but the reverse is also true.
Healing your trauma caninterrupt the cycle.
It's called intergenerationalrepair. Even small changes like
learning to pause beforereacting can ripple forward into
(12:13):
the next generation, makingthings better. Let's look at the
medical side. Many people withtrauma histories go through
years of chronic illness withoutgetting any clear answers.
They're often told it's all intheir head or that their pain
doesn't match the lab, theirlabs are normal, that they're
too young to feel this bad, ormaybe they have, quote, anxiety.
(12:38):
But studies show a clear linkbetween early trauma and
conditions like fibromyalgia,irritable bowel syndrome,
chronic fatigue, migraines,autoimmune disease, and much
more. Trauma doesn't just causeemotional pain, it causes
physical suffering. People withhigher ACE scores often report
something else too, beingdismissed by doctors. They're
(13:00):
told their symptoms are juststress, that they're too young
to be sick. This is sometimescalled medical gaslighting, and
it's not always intentional, butit is always harmful.
Women, especially women ofcolor, are the most likely to be
dismissed this way, and so arepeople with chronic pain,
fatigue, and other hard toquantify conditions. What gets
(13:21):
missed is that these symptomsoften are stress related, but
not in the just relaxed sense.There are biological
consequences of years of trauma.So when medical professionals
aren't trauma informed, patientsfall through the cracks and get
labeled difficult. Thesepatients stop seeking care, and
their health worsens.
(13:42):
Trauma informed health caredoesn't mean blaming trauma for
everything. It means askingbetter questions. As in, not
what's wrong with you, but whathappened to you? One of the most
frustrating things about traumais that it often hides. People
don't always remember whathappened, especially if the
trauma occurred before theirbrain was mature enough to
(14:03):
process it.
But their body remembers. Itremembers in their tight
shoulders, their clenched jaw,in restless sleep or insomnia,
in stomach problems, in chronicasthma or difficulty breathing,
a chronic exhaustion no amountof rest seems to fix. Some
people also experiencedissociation. That's when you
(14:26):
feel disconnected from yourbody, your surroundings, or even
your own thoughts sometimes. Forsome, it can feel like zoning
out or losing time or watchingyour life like a movie.
Dissociation is the body's wayof protecting you when it thinks
something's too much for you tohandle. One reason ACE scores
are so predictive of laterhealth outcomes is their
(14:47):
connection to coping behaviors.People with higher ACE scores
are more likely to smoke,overeat, drink heavily, or
engage in risky sexual behavior.These aren't moral failings,
survival strategies. They'reways to numb pain, to regulate
emotion, or to find andexperience a feeling of fleeting
(15:08):
control.
The problem isn't the behavior,it's what the behavior is trying
to solve. Until that isaddressed, the coping may
continue even if it causes moreharm long term. One of the most
overlooked effects of childhoodtrauma is sleep disruption.
People with high ACE scores aremore likely to have insomnia.
(15:31):
Nightmares are a light, restlesssleep pattern.
Not because they're doingsomething wrong, but because
their nervous system never fullysettles at night. When the brain
has been trained to stay alertfor danger, it doesn't just shut
off because it's bedtime. Goodsleep hygiene helps, but trauma
work is often what makesdepressed possible again. That's
why some people find talktherapy helpful, but others feel
(15:54):
stuck. Because trauma isn't justabout your story, it's about
your body, your nervous system.
It's about those sensations thatnever got completed and emotions
that never got processed. That'swhere something like somatic
therapy comes in. Somatictherapies focus on what the body
is doing, not just what the mindis thinking. They help people
(16:14):
learn to notice theirsensations, to reconnect with
their bodies, and to completestress responses that got stuck.
Therapies like somaticexperiencing, sensorimotor
psychotherapy, and others workwith these systems directly.
And there's also EMDR, eyemovement desensitization and
reprocessing. It helps the brainreprocess traumatic memories so
(16:38):
they don't feel as intense. Itdoesn't erase the memory, but it
helps separate the past from thepresent. EMDR uses a rhythmic
movement like guided eye motionto help your brain make new
associations, kind of crossingthe streams inside the brain to
remap the memories and thefeelings associated with them.
(17:00):
Many people who felt struck foryears have found relief through
this method.
And then there's polyvagaltheory, which explains how your
vagus nerve helps regulate oursense of safety. And when we
feel safe, we can connect, thinkclearly, and rest. And when we
feel threatened, our body shutsdown or goes into overdrive. And
that's why things like breathwork, singing, humming, cold
(17:22):
water, or safe touch can allhelp. They all tell your body
you're safe now.
Your brain's ability to changeis called neuroplasticity, and
it doesn't just happen inchildhood. Even in adulthood,
your brain can grow newconnections. Isn't that cool?
The nervous system can learn newpatterns. What that means is
(17:44):
healing from trauma isabsolutely possible.
And there's another concept topost traumatic growth. Some
people, after going throughtherapy or doing body based
healing work, report becomingmore emotionally connected, more
compassionate, and moregrounded. Not because trauma is
a gift, if not, but because theyhad to rebuild from the inside
(18:06):
out, they got to decide whatkind of life they wanted on the
other side. Research shows thatwith the right support, people
can and do change and not justsurvive, but thrive. If anything
in this episode sounds and feelsfamiliar, there are a few things
you can do.
First, get curious about yourACE score. It's not a diagnosis.
(18:29):
It's not a label. It's justinformation. There are free ACE
quizzes online.
I'll put a couple links in theshow notes. They take about two
minutes, and they can help yousee patterns you might have
missed. Second, start noticinghow your body reacts to stress.
Not what you think, but what youfeel. Do your shoulders tighten?
Does your breath stop? Does yourjaw clench? That's your body
(18:51):
communicating with you, and it'sworth listening. Journaling
through this process can helpyou connect physical feeling to
emotional feeling as well. Andthird, experiment with grounding
techniques, things that bringyou back into the present.
That might be as simple asputting your feet flat on the
floor or taking a slow breath inthrough the nose and letting it
(19:13):
out through the mouth, doingtimed breathing like in for
four, hold for four, and let outfor seven count, or looking
around the room and naming fivethings you see. These things
sound simple, but for a nervoussystem that's stuck in survival
mode, they can be a quick,powerful way to reset. Fourth,
(19:33):
if you're ready, find a traumainformed therapist. Not all
therapy is created equal. Someapproaches focus only on
thoughts, but trauma is storeddeeper, so look for someone
trained in EMDR, somatic work,or trauma focused cognitive
behavioral therapy.
There are websites online thatcan help you find this, or if
(19:54):
you are lucky enough to haveinsurance, your insurance
company probably has a list oftherapists that list their
specialties. Be sure to calltheir office and find out more
information so you'recomfortable before you. There's
also some hopeful research onwhat are called positive
childhood experiences or PCEs.These include things like having
a trusted adult who believes inyou, feeling safe at school, or
(20:17):
having a sense of belonging inyour community. Studies show
that even when people had highACE scores, those that also had
high PCEs were more resilient,less likely to develop
depression or PTSD.
So if you're parenting now ormentoring someone younger, know
this (20:34):
your present, your consistency, and your belief in
someone might be the buffer thatchanges whatever they're
experiencing at home. Andlastly, be patient. Healing is
not linear. Some days will feellike progress, and others will
feel like relapse. That's notfailure.
Your body's just learning how tofeel safe again, and that takes
(20:55):
time. And if your a score ishigh, I want you to know
something. You're not broken.You are not weak or defective.
You adapted to overwhelmingcircumstances, and those
adaptations helped you survive.
They were smart, but now you getto decide if they're still
(21:16):
serving you. There's a quotethat I love that says, you are
not what happened to you. Youare what you choose to become.
And that doesn't mean ignoringthe past. It means understanding
it, working with it, andchoosing to move forward.
Thanks for listening to thisepisode of PsyberSpace. I'm your
host, Leslie Poston, signingoff. I'll include links to the
(21:37):
ACE quizzes to somaticresources, therapist
directories, and sub studies inthe show notes for anyone who
wants to dig deeper. And if thisepisode resonated or helped you
understand yourself or someoneyou care about, do share it. You
never know who might be walkingaround with a high ACE score
wondering why everything feelsso hard.
(21:58):
Don't forget to subscribe andget this in your inbox every
Monday. And as always, staycurious.
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