All Episodes

July 6, 2026 58 mins

Beck and Dash discuss how World Cup banter on TikTok sparked the meme phrase “America’s favorite sport is competition,” leading into a broader conversation about memes, early internet culture (4chan, Rickrolling, Rotten.com, eBaum’s World), and how Web 2.0 interactivity evolved into today’s app-driven, algorithmic internet, with Web 3.0 framed as decentralization via blockchain. They highlight Facebook groups as local “public history” repositories (Portsmouth, Ohio) versus gossip hubs (Nosy Asses of Toledo), share favorite TikTok creators, run a comedic sponsor spot on cut-off jean shorts, feature an “Appalachian noun” on Heiner’s bread, and assign a community photo challenge: “dramatic bitches” in nature.

00:00 Podcast Welcome

00:19 Mailbox Chaos

01:58 Fourth of July Gripes

02:49 Pharmacy Closed Panic

04:41 Shortages and Desalination

06:03 World Cup TikTok Jokes

08:42 Taco Bell Hacks

10:06 Where Memes Come From

15:19 Early Internet Shock Sites

16:55 Amazon and Web Evolution

18:54 Web 2.0 vs Web 3.0

22:36 Portsmouth History Facebook

28:05 Nosy Asses of Toledo

30:38 TikTok ABBA Australians

32:32 Data Privacy and Marketplace

35:16 Sinister Pawn Lima Tour

36:40 Kewpie Burgers And Mansions

38:14 Prison Romance And Furbies

39:09 Pikeville Kentucky Detour

41:09 Captain Ds And Downtown Finds

41:53 Nail Salon Rant

43:20 Sponsor Cutoff Jean Shorts

45:18 Comfort Clothes Talk

46:34 Fourth Of July And Pets

48:07 Smoke Detectors And Cooking

49:25 Noun Heiners Bread

53:02 Cousins Jobs And Driving Tests

56:17 Photo Assignment Dramatic Bitches

58:28 Wrap Up And Goodbye

Send us mail at mailbag@queernecks.com

Follow us on Facebook or Instagram at @Queernecks

Subscribe to out newsletter for the Queernecks ramble expansion pack: https://substack.com/@queernecks

And join our discord by joining our Ko-Fi for $2 a month: https://ko-fi.com/queernecks

Listen
Watch
Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Beck (00:08):
Welcome to Queer Next, the podcast that puts the yehaw in y'all means all.
I'm your host, Beck,

Dash (00:14):
and I'm your host.
Dash.
Welcome to today's episode.
did you ever check your mail?

Beck (00:22):
I still have not checked my mail, no.
It has been so hot.
I'm so bad at it, I'm telling you.
Stuff sits there for like … Theyget so mad at us at the post office.
I've got two cases of Red Bull sittingat the post office waiting on me

Dash (00:34):
Oh my God.
Have you ever gotten like anote, a passive aggressive note?
Or

Beck (00:38):
Yes.

Dash (00:39):
aggressive aggressive.

Beck (00:41):
Yeah, 'cause we take up not only our mail, because our mailbox
is only like that big, right?
It's only like so tall becauseit's in a bay of, it's like a,
a, a, a mailbox farm, you know?
And so we always have a package inone of the package, uh, containers, so
we take it up forever, and I, I thinkthat's why they get mad at us, 'cause
there's only so many package containers.
So, oh well, I don't care

Dash (01:02):
Like leaving your, laundry in the dryer a whole weekend in the

Beck (01:08):
They should have made one closer.
They shouldn't have made just one bay.
They should have made two.
And the, the issue with my Red Bullis that I order them from Amazon
and I specifically do it next daydelivery on like a Tuesday so that
they won't send it the postal service.
But for whatever reason, the last twoshipments, they have decided to send it
postal service anyway, and because we'rein this big complex, the post office

(01:30):
won't deliver, deliver it to my door.
So they bring it to the complex and itgoes straight back to the post office and
it sits there till I go and pick it up,which is a pain because Shanna works all
day every day, and when am I supposed toget to the freaking post office, you know?
It's ridiculous.
That's my minor gripe for the day.
But if that's all that's wrongin my life, I'm, I'm here for it

Dash (01:49):
our post office here is open I think it's 8:00 to 1:00 PM

Beck (01:53):
Wow.
That's even worse thanthe Waterville post office

Dash (01:56):
This place, man.
I told you yesterday…
So okay, it's 4th of July.
Happy 4th of America Day,everybody, or whatever.

Beck (02:06):
Happy birthday, America

Dash (02:07):
happy 250th

Beck (02:09):
look a day over 219

Dash (02:13):
Doesn't look a day over 1950.
We wish we could be happierfor you, but we're just not.
We'll try again

Beck (02:20):
Yeah.

Dash (02:21):
America.

Beck (02:23):
I could enjoy the fireworks because I have a, an, anxious chihuahua,
so we can't even enjoy the fireworkswithout, you know, really medicating her.
So just, I just, last- theystarted with the fireworks last
night, and it was uncalled for.
So I, I just can't wait forthe fireworks to be done.
I used to love them, but with a noisychiro- chihuahua, it's just impossible

Dash (02:43):
Yeah.
they started here yesterday.
They're having their little street party.
Remember the one they had last

Beck (02:48):
Yehaw

Dash (02:49):
every year.
Which is why yesterday when I tried to goget my medicine, the pharmacy was closed.
And, they don't have weekend hours.
They don't have any…
Like, if you m- if you didn't getyour medication, you are fucked.
And it's a weekend, and I'm like,I don't, I don't even trust that
you're gonna be open on Monday

Beck (03:07):
Right?

Dash (03:07):
considering how
are And I was completelyout of my metformin.
So I was like, "This is gonnabe an uncomfortable weekend."

Beck (03:15):
Next time call me, I keep jugs of it

Dash (03:18):
Uh, I called my old pharmacy up in, in the next town over, and they were
like, "No, we've never filled that foryou, so we can't just hand you pills."
And I was like, "Yeah, that makes sense."
And they were like, "Canyou call your doctor?"
And I was like, "Well, theclinic's closed too, so if you
need to go to the doctor…"
I called the hospital.
The ER was open, and they werelike, "Who's your doctor?"

(03:42):
And I, I told her, and she goes, "Letme see if she'll pick up the phone."
So she called my poor doctor off ofthe clock and asked her to put in a
prescription for me at a differentpharmacy that was actually open.
so that took the whole…
That took the entire day yesterday to get

Beck (03:57):
Yehaw

Dash (03:57):
fucking medication so that I can
without feeling like garbage

Beck (04:03):
Yeah, and that's the least sexy medicine there is to even need something
like that, just freaking metformin.
I've got three, you know the gianttall, tall pill bottles that come
with like 180 in it or whatever?
I've got three of those ofmetformin in my medicine box.
So I just, they, I, theyjust keep refilling it and
that's how much extra I have.

Dash (04:22):
Wow

Beck (04:23):
I did get some Adderall this week though, so

Dash (04:26):
Ooh.

Beck (04:29):
it's the non-extended release one.
I did get it, so I haven't got theextended release yet though, so

Dash (04:36):
Yeah, I don't have mine either.
Ma- they said maybethey'll have it next week.

Beck (04:40):
Yeah

Dash (04:41):
you guys?
I mean, of all the shortages togo around out there right now, I
guess Adderall's not the worst.
They're fucking short on…
They've got rolling power outagesand stuff in northern Kentucky, and
water shortages from data centers.
Like, the world is ending, you guys

Beck (04:56):
I read an article yesterday that they have figured out how to
desalinate, uh, water, uh, cheaper thanit is to bottle it, the fresh water.
So there might be somechanges coming to that.
It, it m- the, the use of our watermight not be an issue for much longer.
We can hope

Dash (05:11):
Yeah.
I mean, we solved the, we'vesolved that issue several times
now and just never actually put itto use where it will help people.
The same thing with energy.

Beck (05:20):
always too expensive.

Dash (05:22):
Yeah, it was expensive.
What was the name of that power source?

Beck (05:26):
Rue's just watching you

Dash (05:27):
high ru- high yield beta fusion Allegedly they had created that and
everybody kept saying like, "Oh, it'sgonna change energy," or whatever, and
then like nothing happened for 10 years.
And I was like, "I don't even care if youmade it because I'm not in a position to
be excited for breakthroughs right now.
Like, I need you to make thingsbetter or shut up about it."

Beck (05:49):
Yehaw

Dash (05:50):
Like, you could go to
and I'd be like, "Great,bring back something useful.
Be excited later when

Beck (05:57):
Yeah.

Dash (05:58):
Hi, Ziggy

Beck (05:59):
Yeah
I feel that in my soul.
I am not really proud tobe an American these days

Dash (06:04):
It's tough Well, and this I guess segues us into, we landed on the
wheel of what have you on social media.
We don't, that's gonna meanwhatever we feel like it means.
We'll loosely talk about social media,the World Cup is I guess still happening.
I don't know.

Beck (06:23):
Yeah, it's like three weeks long or something

Dash (06:26):
Yeah.
A- a- and that's cool, and I s-there's all kinds of different
versions of it to engage with onlineon social media, like seeing, you
know, like we talked about Europeansexperiencing America for the first time
or, or South Americans experiencingNorth America for the first time.
Cool things like that.
But one thing that happened was a lot ofAmericans realized that we have a men's

(06:49):
soccer team ' and on TikTok especially,Europeans, Brits and Aussies, where
they were trying to shit talk, you know?
They were like, "Oh, America thinksthey're gonna win this just because
they have home field advantage."
And we were all like,"We're in the World Cup?"
Who was gonna tell us?

(07:09):
Like, what, who, what's our mascot?
Like, we the bits about, like, us noteven realizing we were playing in this.
Like, I saw people saying like, "Yeah, Ijust thought we were having company over."
Like d- what do, how, whatdo, how does scoring work?
Like um, and then the,US like beat a couple…
Like, they, they beat Australia.

(07:30):
Like, they, they, they won a coupleof key games in people's comments,
like of those, of like an Australian,there was one guy in particular
who was a shit-stirrer in this.
They were like, "Yeah, we got twokick downs on the, the home piece."
Really, I don't know.
He started it.
He was like, "America thinksthey're gonna win," or whatever,
and it's like we did win.
We just don't really…

(07:50):
We care less about that than youdo, but we're g- and so somebody
started talking about that.
They were like, "Amer- y'all didn'tcare about this like a week ago,
and now you're all in my mentionstalking about the World Cup."
And, and somebody said, and they putit in quotation marks, which I think
means that they're quoting somebodyelse, but they didn't attribute it.
I'll see if I can figure out who said it.

(08:11):
it said, "America's favoritesport is competition."

Beck (08:14):
a great one

Dash (08:15):
isn't it g- it's so true.
Like, we don't care what it is.
It can be as dumb as hell, but we're gonna

Beck (08:23):
I saw a meme once, about the pandemic that if we made it like state
versus state with a, with a reward likeeverybody gets free Taco Bell at the
end if you have the lowest transmissionrate or something, people would've been
shaming the non-mask wearers left andright if Taco Bell was on the line.

Dash (08:38):
right

Beck (08:38):
You know?
Like, that they should'vetaken up that model.
I know I would've shamedsomebody for a taco
Did you see that Taco Bell is bringingback the chili cheese burrito nationwide?

Dash (08:54):
Nope

Beck (08:55):
They are.
We- they've had them herein my area for a long time.
I got them until I was sick of them, andnow, but now, now they're on the app.
You can get them anywhere

Dash (09:03):
Ah.

Beck (09:03):
you ever had a chili cheese burrito from Taco Bell?

Dash (09:06):
I haven't.
There, there is a Taco Bell over w- inthe, the town I go to my boxing class in.
said it's called a chili cheese burrito?

Beck (09:15):
Yeah.
I get it with a side of sourcream and s- and some nachos

Dash (09:19):
I was about to say, like, it's gonna need to be cut with something.
I'm sure they

Beck (09:23):
Yeah, you can add rice, you can add, uh, tomatoes,
you can add whatever you want.
But I just eat it as…
I get a side of chips.
So at Taco Bell, here's a, a cheat inlife that, that you can attribute to me.
If you buy, uh, chips and cheeseat Taco Bell, it's like 2.99,
but if you buy just chips, no cheese,it's 75 cents And then you can get

(09:44):
a side of cheese for like 50 cents.
So you, if you get them both assides, you can get it a lot cheaper.
But I just, 'cause I don't like thecheese at, at Taco Bell, so I just get
the chips and eat it with sour cream.
Five stars

Dash (09:56):
I think there, there's all kinds of cases of that, like the combo
actually costs you more money instead of

Beck (10:01):
Yehaw.

Dash (10:02):
Ziggy, hush, honey.
You got enough airtime last week.
So I tried to look it up, and, uh,the, the quote, "America's favorite
sport is competition," a meme.
It's a social media…
It originated somewhere onTikTok likely, But nobody knew,
nobody knows who said it first.

(10:22):
that's one of the…
It's like that's one of the mostinteresting but also kind of horrifying
things about social media is ittransmits ideas, information, whatever,
so quickly that you, you don't, wedon't have time to trace its source.
has sped up the creation and disseminationof, of culture to a point that It's

(10:47):
not easy to k- to be aware of whatwe're s- talking about came from.

Beck (10:53):
Yeah, memes are their own language at this point.
Like, there's, there's so muchcontext that you have to have and,
you know, like, to understand.
Like, you would've had to havebeen on the internet for, like,
100 years at this point to reallyunderstand meme speak, in my opinion.
There's, there's a lot

Dash (11:08):
Especially like the image macros, like the, the version of meme that most
people are familiar with, just likethat image and some sort of text on it.

Beck (11:19):
Yehaw

Dash (11:19):
like with a lot of words that become part of culture's way of understanding
itself, meme existed before the internet.
Sort of like, you know, whenever wetake something and use it as a metaphor
like we did with patriarchy or rape orpower, its new metaphorical definition
becomes the real definition to us,and we kind of like do forget the old.

(11:43):
And, and that's not…
I'm not trying to be get off your lawnabout it, 'cause it really doesn't matter.
But meme is short for mimeme.
They've been around since…
Well, first of all, mimeme is justlike how information is transmitted.
I w- I bet Richard Dawkins is actuallyinsufferable about this right now because
he coined the term, the idea that there'sa cultural of a gene that transmits,

(12:06):
heritable knowledge in a cultural way.
The Selfish Gene, I think,is where he talks about it.
But even before the internet, peoplewere doing things like with graffiti.
Graffiti's a good example of places we'veseen, like memes outside of the internet.
Did you ever hear aboutthat one Kilroy Was Here?

Beck (12:26):
Yeah, from the US Army

Dash (12:28):
yeah, was one.
Frodo Lives is another one.
People would put that in the, the subway.

Beck (12:34):
when I worked at bingo, there was a couple of old men that would bring folded
up pieces of paper with memes printedon them, like jokes or whatever, and
they would physically hand them aroundand people would look at them and laugh.
Like, that was right beforethe internet became…
Yeah, I remember several of those.
They were usually dirty in nature

Dash (12:54):
wonder where they got them.
Where did you go for your memes?
I w- I was on Cheeseburger

Beck (12:59):
Oh Lord probably just Facebook.
I follow a lot of memedumping pages that offer…
Like, there's this one she offers 42memes every day and they're always
new and always, you know, yeah.
So that's, that's where I getmost of mimemes is through those,
those meme aggregation pages
I use Facebook a lot.
I'm old

Dash (13:18):
It's just so ingrained

Beck (13:21):
Yehaw

Dash (13:22):
the first internet meme, viral internet meme, 4chan invented
them in, in the West anyway.
Western internet memes,they, they came from 4chan.
A lot of things did actually.
People don't really know how much of ourculture actually just came from 4chan.
there's reasons for that too itwas a, it was a place where the

(13:42):
interactive web, like very s- it, itwas like at the beginning of Web 2.0,
and it was an image board, so peoplecould get on there and interact in
a way that they hadn't been able to.
It was sort of like rightbefore social media.
but the first viral internet meme to breakcontainment on 4chan was Rickrolling did
anybody ever get you with Rickrolling?

Beck (14:03):
No, but I have rickrolled a few times in my day.
Um, Like on, on Canvas, likein a class, like one semester I
posted, uh, final exam answers.
And it was just a link, and if you clickedit on it, it took you to a, a rickroll.
It took you to the, you know, the thing.
I- that was one of my favorite ones.
Somebody was like, "You got me."
And I was like, "Why wouldI post final answers?

(14:25):
Duh, like, use your brain, idiots."

Dash (14:28):
uh, it's worth checking.
You found him on Canvas before, so

Beck (14:34):
True that.
True that

Dash (14:36):
I out about it because somebody asked me, Vanessa
actually asked me, she texted me,"Have you heard of Rickrolling?"
And I was like, "No."
This was 2007, I think.
I th- maybe a lot of people heard about itbefore it happened to them, I don't know.
But there were all kinds of those, likethe first internet viral internet memes

(14:56):
were kind of, bait and clicks, you know?
Like [redacted]
Uh, yeah, Scares Goatse.
A lot of them are really

Beck (15:06):
Lord.

Dash (15:07):
[redacted] nobody Google that.
I'm gonna have to bleep thatout ' and, and much, much worse.
but that's kind of likethe internet would do that.
That's the natural of what the

Beck (15:19):
Do you remember
Do you remember rotten.com?

Dash (15:21):
Yeah.

Beck (15:22):
that was one of my first experiences online was watching
a snuff film on rotten.com.
'Cause they didn't try tohide that shit or anything.
You just clicked and there it was.
It was, I saw Tupac's autopsy pictures

Dash (15:35):
Yeah I'd forgotten about Rotten.

Beck (15:37):
and eBaum's World

Dash (15:39):
Yeah, Ebaum's World was, was good too.
Like, that had some funny stuff on it too.
I w- I w- like I said, Iwas on Cheeseburger a lot.
That is Where I saw the picture you took

Beck (15:49):
yeah?

Dash (15:50):
long

Beck (15:52):
That's so cool.

Dash (15:52):
um

Beck (15:53):
The Burger King,
try our new anus burger
I was just, uh, I was lucky thatI had my good camera with me
too, 'cause that was before cellphones could take good pictures.
And I just, I was on my way tosomewhere in Huntington, and
it was the one on the west end.
And I just pulled in their parking lotand snapped a picture and drove off.
It was funny I did callthem to tell them though.
I'm a spoilsport, I guess.

(16:14):
I d- you know what I mean?
'Cause I feel like if it was my BurgerKing, I would wanna know that was
out there and it was inappropriate.
Um, I don't know if theybelieved me or not, but

Dash (16:23):
of social media.
Like, people were commenting on it.
You weren't really making friends.
So the image boards, uh, theyweren't really designed to f-
to, to make relationships thatlasted beyond the interaction.
So that was definitely Web 2.0
because people were in, like,comment sections and stuff.
But, you know, 4chan's anonymous,and Cheeseburger, like, you had a

(16:47):
na- you could have a screen name,but nobody remembered anybody else

Beck (16:55):
You know one interesting thing I think for me anyway,
is that when the Web 2.0
was really becoming a, a thing, that'swhen I was working at Amazon.com
and I got to see Amazon really morph froma bookstore into what it has become today.
That was before th- theyhad Super Saver Shipping.
That was before they had Prime.

(17:17):
Like they got Prime inlike 2006, 2007 I think.
And I've had Prime since it started.
I've been a Amazon junkie for a longtime now because I saw how it worked and
they made their employees like owners.
They vested, they gave you vestedstock and things like that.
They made you feel like youwere part of the company.
But it was really interesting to see theinternet alive and well and how it was

(17:38):
being transformed and the way people wereusing it because I had free un- l- if you
weren't on a call or working on an email,you had unfettered access to the internet.
You could basically do whatever youwanted as long as the calls were
not in queue and that, and therewere no emails waiting in queue.
And I did not have high-speed internetat home, so it was, you know, I did a
lot of, of searching on Amazon's dime

(17:59):
Do you know Amazon has somethingcalled Gold Star customers?
Like, they pick particular customers andput a literal gold star on their account.
Like, a customer service puts in youremail address and your account pops up.
Right beside your name, there's a goldstar, and that means basically customer
service is supposed to treat you likeroyalty, give you whatever you want,
whatever you need fix the problemno matter how big it is, just make

(18:21):
sure they continue to be a customer.
And I think we have become a gold starcustomer because we've been shopping
under the same account for so long, and weuse Amazon like it's a pantry, you know?

Dash (18:31):
There's a reason it has taken hold the way it has.

Beck (18:35):
been in a literal store, like a Target or a Walmart or a Kroger.
I've been in Kroger once in thelast, like, five years, and that's
the only store I've been in.
I just don't go shopping anymore.
Amazon has it

Dash (18:47):
They don't have them here.
You know?
If it, if it wasn't for onlineshopping, I wouldn't, I literally
wouldn't get the things I needed

Beck (18:54):
Hi, Peta But yeah, what, what version of web point what, what
point O would you say we're at now?

Dash (19:00):
Well We're still in Web 2.0.
Like, the Internet's not progressing.
in fact, it's kind of we'reusing less and less of it.
We don't use the Internet anymore.
Most people use an applicationthat uses the Internet for them.
We've learned less about how coding works.

(19:20):
So w- we're s- we sort of, um passed onour opportunity to become part of it.
B- b- by we, I mean the average person.
And it, and it wasn't thatthe choice wasn't obvious.
W- we w- it wasn't being made clearto us that we were no to that.
It was companies wanted to,to own the access so that

(19:42):
they could charge us for it.
So, you know, think about how youinteract with the Internet the most
often for me it's probably through my TV
my phone and everything has an algorithm.
Of course, there always, alwaysalready were algorithms, What
even, what would be Web 3.0?

Beck (20:03):
Well, what makes Web 2.0
Web 2.0?

Dash (20:05):
Interactivity.
the static web is what itwas called in the old days.
W- so, like, the early days of theinternet were just websites, and
people could visit and read them.
And the, the capability for buildingin opportunities for people who
visited the website to engage with eachother just wasn't really there yet.

(20:27):
So Web 2.0
was the advent of something like ablog or a comment section or social
media, MySpace, The, like, increasedaccess to chat rooms, stuff like that.
Like, it, sort of like the editableweb, and we used that to interact more.

(20:48):
And also more people could make theirown websites, so something like…
Do you remember GeoCities?
Y- like, there were ways for people whoweren't formally trained in, computers
and whatnot, to still be a part of it.
also became a piece of the,the kind of proxy access.

(21:10):
were one step removed if youused something like GeoCities
to create your website

Beck (21:14):
Right

Dash (21:15):
Uh, so the, uh, Google says "A defining element of Web 3.0
would be decentralization, movingaway from reliance on massive tech
monopolies like Google, Amazon, andMeta toward decentralized applications
and peer-to-peer networks."
Yeah, using blockchain technology.

(21:36):
So basically it would require usto completely reverse course begin
to learn how shit works again.
I don't know how likely we are to do thatAnd I just bored myself talking about…
And, and I, it shouldn't be like that.
We should be, we should be excitedto, to have the opportunity to learn
stuff, but everything is so goddamnhard right now, I just don't want to

Beck (22:00):
Yehaw.

Dash (22:01):
Until we become a society that can feed and house everybody, I don't think…
I think we're gonna be in Web

Beck (22:07):
Oh, we could, but we just don't

Dash (22:09):
Right.
been the case since the '70s.
We've been

Beck (22:12):
Yehaw

Dash (22:12):
to feed twice the amount of people that live on planet Earth since
whenever it was Norman Borlaug, uh,diversified the wheat down in Mexico.
I'm not gonna Google that.
Nobody cares.
This is- I really need some ADHD medicine.

Beck (22:30):
Yeah, this is gonna be a fun podcast

Dash (22:33):
It's gonna be a nightmare to edit.
you sent me this page Facebook page,You Know You're From Portsmouth,

Beck (22:42):
Yes.

Dash (22:44):
And I've just been kinda scrolling through, and this, post made
me laugh because it just says, " Iwent from first through fifth grade
at Highland Elementary, 1940 to 1945."

Beck (22:59):
That was also the elementary school that I went to, believe it or not.

Dash (23:03):
Wow

Beck (23:03):
Yeah, it's, there were, there were five elementary schools in Portsmouth,
and that's just the one that I also wentto from kindergarten through fifth grade.
So the thing about the, the Portsmouth,Ohio, uh, the, the name of the site is
You Know You Are from Portsmouth, Ohio If.
And when this group was originallycreated, the, that kind of page,
that, that format was everywhere.

(23:25):
It was kind of based on the joke, youknow, you're from Ohio if and then
insert, you know, funny line or whatever.
But this t- page kind of evolvedand became, in a, in a county where
there is no historical society, thishas really become the public history
dispo for the Scioto County area.
Uh, you can find thousands of picturesof everything from old car shows to

(23:49):
old buildings to old families to oldfestivals to old businesses to, you
know, you name it and it's in there.
Uh, every once in a whilethey'll publish a Valley class
of 1982, the seniors, right?
And so you get to see all the seniorsfrom that class of 1982, and then
they'll do New Boston, uh, 1995, andthen they'll do West Portsmouth 1937.

(24:09):
You know, and they just pick randomyears, and you get to see the, the,
the yearbook pictures of all of those.
And it has 24,000 members whichisn't a whole lot when it comes to,
you know, big pages or whatever.
But I think that this page does a reallygood job of being a public history portal
for people that don't have any otherway to experience that kind of thing.

(24:31):
Portsmouth is really the kind of placewhere you grow up there and you leave
if you want any kind of opportunity.
So a lot of people feel nostalgicabout the area and, you know, it's from
their childhood, I think it's importantbecause it allows people to explore those
avenues and to make old friends again.
You know, there's all, all kinds of times.
The, like this, this lady that,that posted the one that you ta-
that you said she said, "I lived inPortsmouth on Park Avenue in the early

(24:55):
'40s, went to Highland Elementary."
And then there's a person in the in thecomments that said, it, put their address,
"Went to Highland School, had the samet- teachers you mentioned at Highland.
Graduated class of 1961."
And then the next one is, "Ialso went to Highland, and Ms.
Pray was my first grade teacher,and I remember blah, blah, blah.
I graduated in 1957."
So it, it really is just a goodplace for people to come back and

(25:18):
explore public history in a waythat I think is very 21st century.
You know?
There was never anything like this before.
When I was doing my research for mymaster's, uh, program I contacted
the library to find out what kind ofresources they had about Black history,
and they basically had a folder on ashelf, and that was pretty much it.
And since I've, since I found this page,some of the Black residents have shared

(25:41):
different things, and I have gotten moreBlack history from this page than I got
from the actual library doing research.
So, you know, there's a lot of good waysfor this to be used, and people just
kind of, you know, offhandedly thinkit's n- garbage or nonsense or whatever.
But it's a really important site of publichistory, and I'm glad that it, it exists

Dash (26:02):
I'm reading a post right now about the tunnels, there was a tunnel built to
help the post office move mail more easily

Beck (26:10):
Mmhmm

Dash (26:11):
But somebody who may be related to you

Beck (26:15):
It's possible

Dash (26:16):
said, "My dad, Reginald Jenkins, used to work at post office back
in the day, and he took me a walkthe tunnel when I was a teenager."

Beck (26:27):
If they're a Jenkins, a Montgomery, a Phipps, or a Crabtree in Scioto County,
I am absolutely the related to them,so I'm sure that is one of my cousins

Dash (26:37):
Just scrolling through and I see the pictures, like the historical pictures.
It was an, an oldGreyhound bus station there

Beck (26:45):
Yeah.
Yeah, it was really dilapidated bythe time I got to be allowed to drive
around town, but it looked really fancy.
And it's o- on the, on the murals,if you ever get a chance to go to
Portsmouth, Ohio, make sure youcheck out the flood wall murals.
They're the, the crown jewel in thePortsmouth public history scenario there.
It's basically 2,000 feet of muralspace, and it covers the history from

(27:07):
the Native Americans that s- weresettled there, and when the French came
in and settled the area, all the wayup to the new bridge they just built.
And it covers all kinds ofdifferent pieces of history and,
and the, the Greyhound station is,is one o- in one of the murals.
And it looks really neat.
They had, like, an art deco section.
There was a lot of art deco designin Portsmouth in the '40s and '50s

(27:28):
when it was really in its heyday

Dash (27:30):
Yeah, I could spend a lot of time scrolling through here

Beck (27:33):
One time somebody commented they worked at, at Kmart in the late '80s, and
I was like, "Oh, my aunt worked there."
And they were like, "Who was your aunt?"
I said her name, and theywere like, "I loved her."
And that was just amazing because, youknow, she's been dead for many years, and
it w- she was, like, one of my favoritepeople in the whole world, and it was
just good to find somebody that rememberedher for being awesome, you know?

Dash (27:52):
Yeah.
that's, I mean, at, atits heart, The thing that
should do, the thing that like w- if itdoes it well, then, then that's great.
It's like give us those connections

Beck (28:05):
Mm-hmm.
I sent you a second page which iscalled The Nosy Asses of Toledo, Ohio.
And so on the surface, this has kindof the same job that the Portsmouth
page has but it is much more ornery.
very, very, very differently.

(28:25):
It's also got a lot of currentevents things that are happening.
Like for example, one day there weretwo people arguing about something on
the page, and the next day came themugshots 'cause they took it offline.
That totally happenedon the Nosy Asses page.
There, you know the guy f- the drag,uh, the drag queen that was running
for Congress, uh, from around here?
He got into a fight with a girl at a BP.

(28:46):
He's, he apparently stole her spot,like, they're the, they were busy.

Dash (28:50):
yeah.
You told
know it was

Beck (28:55):
yeah, So he s- he stole her spot, and so long story
short, she ended up macing him,pepper spraying him in the eyes.
And they played the whole argument outon, on this Nosy Asses of Toledo page,
which is where I even, even heard ofthis guy for the first time, you know?
Because it was such a thing.
There will be posts like "If youwere the motherfucker driving the
red van on, on Secor Avenue at 3:45today, you better learn how to drive."

(29:20):
You know, stupid stuff like that, which Iagree, Toledo could learn to drive a lot.
There are some bad drivers in Toledo.
Like, I've seen people use theberm just to get around somebody.
it's wild the thingsI have seen in Toledo.
But I find it, I find it interestingbecause it's the, the same basic idea,

(29:40):
uh, uh, like a re- a repository of, humaninterests from a particular area, but it's
a very, like you said, a very differentinterpretation of how that data is used.
So the Portsmouth page I think is beingused for good, and I think the Nosy Asses
of Toledo page is being used for evil.
For hilarious evil sometimes,but definitely not being used

(30:00):
for the g- the betterment of man.
And it's got 70,000 members,

Dash (30:05):
Yeah.
Man, Facebook is, is wild.
Did you have MySpace first

Beck (30:10):
Yes, MySpace.
That was one of the thingsI did on the Amazon time.
It is and you can even still s- signinto your account, but everything is gone

Dash (30:20):
Space.com.
Oh my God, this still exists?

Beck (30:24):
Yep

Dash (30:25):
It looks sketchy as hell.

Beck (30:28):
Yehaw

Dash (30:30):
bit like Pinterest, for music and stuff.
Yeah, I'm, I'm not gonna look at that.
It makes me sad.
Well,
the social media I spendthe most time on is TikTok.
Which is interesting.
I, it, the, it's really got its claws inpretty much all of us There are times when

(30:52):
I'm like, "This is dreadful and I don'tknow why I'm doing this," and so I avoid
it because I don't want to take the timeto figure out how to control my algorithm.
So if it's not what I want to see,I just don't log on for a while.
But sometimes it has the mostbeautiful random shit, That I'm

(31:14):
like, "What, what gave you this idea?
Like, how did you even comeup with this brilliance?"
And so this, this littlething here is one of them.
Like, when I saw this, I waslike, " Uh, this is so goddamn funny.
I don't even know who to, to…
I need to tell somebody aboutthis You see the screen?

Beck (31:35):
Yes.

Dash (31:36):
This is If ABBA were sung by Australians

Speaker (31:42):
In the firelight, Fernando,
you are humming to yourself andsoftly strumming your guitar.
I could hear the distant drums and soundsand bugle claws were coming from a farm.
They were closer.
Now, Fernando.

(32:05):
Every hour, every minuteseem to last eternally

Dash (32:11):
eternally In the oil lamp Eternally
Australian people aren't real.
Nobody talks like that.

Beck (32:21):
I've wondered that myself.
Yeah, I've wondered that myself
That's hilarious.
It sounds
like,
Muriel's Wedding all over again

Dash (32:32):
Wenda

Beck (32:32):
Are you not worried that the Chinese government is, is learning
all of your algorithm stuff?

Dash (32:37):
Yeah.
I mean, every application onmy phone is mining my data.
I trust the Chinese with itmore than Mark Zuckerberg

Beck (32:47):
True that, homie

Dash (32:49):
you know,

Beck (32:51):
at
least the Chinese are human

Dash (32:52):
Well, and, and they can't…
What are they gonna do to me, right?
They're over there.
This dude is influencing our government,and, and maybe they are, too.
I don't know.
I don't know enough about it.
But, like, fucking these technobros, Bezos and, and Zuckerberg,
they're literally running ourcountry, and it's not going well.
Like, they're, they're killing people.

(33:14):
So And that's the reason why I'll belike, every so often I'll be like,
"Oh, I'm gonna get off of Facebook,"because I, I have this feeling of being
watched, and I don't like it But thenI move somewhere that's the middle of
nowhere where I have to buy shit off ofFacebook Marketplace because there's no,
like, you know, pawn stores or whatever

Beck (33:32):
Yeah.
I've gotten ripped off so many timeson Marketplace, it's ridiculous.
Like, one time we bought a Wii, and theygave us a bunch of games and everything,
but the Wii didn't work It was bullshit

Dash (33:42):
And it's not like you can, like, check it in the parking lot wherever you

Beck (33:46):
Yeah.
Exactly.

Dash (33:48):
Speaking of Facebook Marketplace, I found this video of this woman
talking about Facebook Marketplace.

(35:12):
Um

Beck (35:13):
Are there so many alternative pooping methods?

Dash (35:16):
Uh, there's another one here of, like, old Appalachia
baby names from the cemeteries.
We don't need to

Beck (35:22):
Ew

Dash (35:22):
one.
It, it's ki- I mean, we can watch it,but I might not put it in the episode,
but I will link it in the description.
Last thing I s- I saved a bunch ofthese because they all make me laugh so
much, is- Lima the Sinister Pawn babe.
she just does the Google Mapsreadings, but somebody…

(35:45):
she actually, I think she livesup there by you right now.
but people have been sendingher to parts of Appalachia.
But because we were talking aboutLima and the, what she says about
it, it just, this made me laugh

Beck (35:56):
Those Kewpie burgers have been everywhere

Speaker 2 (35:59):
Lima.
No, but nobody likes Lima.
She's out in the forsaken partof Ohio, the Western Park.
I've been all over this state,but I've never been over
there and nor do I want to.
It's a nice courthousethough a lot of towns have.
Nice, well, okay.
It's kind of nice too, you know.
Old darky teacher.
That's okay.

(36:19):
I, I'm saying I'm seeing a nice,so pu from the 18 hundreds that's.
You know, little whimsical to me.
Ooh.
But you know, it's touch and go.
'cause what, what's this so tall for?
What do y'all think?
You're a city or something?
Parking garage.
Hoe on the fuck's going to lime?
I, I don't know why y'allhave all these tall buildings.
I didn't think it was that.
What fucking skyscrapers.

(36:40):
What's is Coy Hamburgs?
Hold on.
What?
Wait a minute.
Like the little coy dolls,they, it's kind of quirky.
Kay Burgers frogs.
Ordinarily I wouldn't love thisThe,but it feels more authentic.
Look at these.
I kind of love these little naked dolls.
They're cute, whimsical.
Even the Mennonite bitches love it.
I bet they do have a good burger.

(37:00):
You know, art space of Lama bang.
Who the fuck y'all think y'all are?
Although, look, youknow, it is a reminder.
And all these small towns acrossAmerica, people are doing things.
People are making art now.
I feel bad.
Old City prom, 5,000 babe.
What's going on in Lymer?
Who even knew, look, andthis food looks good.

(37:23):
Who the fuck's taking me here?
I can't afford this McDowellhouse of Victorian mansion.
Wait now.
See how I'd sit in that winter andjust ponder, you know, that's what
they did back in the day, 18 hundreds.
There wasn't else shit to do.
You just sat around.
Look at that desk.
Hell gorgeous.
They don't make nothing like that no more.
You see?
You could put all your littlethings in the compartments, the bin.

(37:46):
This is my house.
This where I belong.
I, I just feel, you know, I'm inthe wrong time period and it's just,
oh look in a creepy basement too.
I love the, the ho on main.
Another 5,000.
Fuck no, we're not doing this again.
Y'all are getting cur munch box.
We are my lesbian.
Okay.
Come to the front.
'cause with Jim Munch this box, man.

(38:08):
I bet you would.
This looks good.
You know, it's very dairy heavy.
Ice creams and treats and things.
What's the uh, hold on.
'cause I smell something, butsomething sinister this way comes.
Oh, this my prison romance.
Look.
Look at the barbed wire bag look.
Allen Oakwood Correctional Facility.
I say our mains in nearby.

(38:28):
And what's the, uh, somekind of big abandoned port.
I wanna see this.
I know y'all are exposingmy man to asbestos and.
Lord knows what Hell moving.
What's Happy Day next to Burger King?
Let's, yes, another 50 Donner situation.
I'm like, what the Furby?
And y'all dressed them upto take them out to lunch.
This is so my vibe.

(38:49):
I wanna do this.
Damn.
Now I need to get a fucking Furby again.
And then look, y'all gotanother Cutey burger.
Y'all got two of these in the same town.
I kind of wanna go to Lima just 50 years.
Look at the ass, pretty and plump.
I love her.
This is speaking to me

Dash (39:04):
that's her whole channel, and I love it.
She just…

Beck (39:07):
That was hilarious.

Dash (39:08):
gone to…

Beck (39:09):
have Pikeville, Kentucky

Speaker 3 (39:14):
12 this whole.
Same SW Treble and CryingPain and the Lord's gonna
come and as heavenly airplane.

Speaker 4 (39:26):
I like to sing that on my front porch, uh, in the evening as
a reminder that the world is ending.
Now we've been sent to EasternKentucky, you know, heart of Appalachia.
I've never been to Pikeville, but I, youknow, I'm related to people from here.
Y'all know the Howard look now, I like to.
See that they're, uh,celebrating their downtown.

(39:47):
Y'all see how it's fixed up?
You know how they're caring for it.
This is kind of nice looking, ain't it?
You'd expect it to all be crumbling and,you know, meth addicts and crack heads.
But they're here.
You know, you lift up one of these cars,they're gonna scatter like roaches.
Enjoy downtown.
I'll save you.
See that looks like adrag queen, don't it?

(40:07):
Are we getting LGBT in the Appalachian?
This surprises me.
What's purses place?
Hey, I go like a panini.
I like a squished, uh, warm sandwich.
Like that.
Look at that pretzel.
This looks good.
What are then those deep fried,uh, scotch eggs or something?
I like to try those Big sandyheritage, who's big Sandy.
They didn't have to puther on blast like that.

(40:27):
The building looks nice.
Some kind of historic museum.
I mean, I'm not riveting.
It was, yes, they was getting kinkywith handcuffs or something back.
Yeah, that's a co.
You know, because that's all thisparty look, the coal miners prayer, I
mean, that's all the men have to do.
You know, they're down in theirminds and they still are to this day.
You might think it'sstill like 18 hundreds.

(40:48):
I mean, they're comingout all city and shit.
Okay.
Hatfield McCoy, don't get me scoring.
Y'all know what this was.
It was two white trashfamilies that kept fighting.
They want to talk about it for hundredsof years, and that's all it was.
You can drive anywhere downin them hollers right now.
And you see people screaming ateach other from their trailer parks.
That's the same thing.

(41:09):
Oh, captain D's, let's talkabout some real culture boy.
And it still looks the same, don't it.
Same killer scheme.
This where you know, me andmy family would go when it
was gonna be a fancy dinner.
In the nineties, you know?
Oh God, the hushpuppies, God.
These were simpler times.
You know, the biggest scandal wasthe president getting a blowjob, you
know, net was, yet he wasn't suckingthe whole country up like this one.

(41:31):
What's over here?
Pay ball.
These boutique little clothing store.
Oh fuck.
There's some Appalachian lingeriewith the, uh, trucks and the red lace.
Okay.
That gets the men's going.
I don't know the direction of thestore if it's like for adult babies.
Oh, it's lesbians, Dolly and Reba.
You know, I mean, the lesbiansgot their own rules, you know?
I don't know how they dress.

(41:51):
Moving on.
What?
El Oh, David Nail salon.
You know, I got something to say.
I'm up here in some forsaken part of Ohio.
You know, I had to.
Scour to find an Asian ownedand operated nail salon.
You know?
And you could always tell, 'causeit's either, it's just like beauty
nail or sexy nails, you know, orDiva Nail or just nails, you know,

(42:12):
they're real, you know, to the point.
Okay.
None of these, uh, pattiesartistic nail salon?
No.
'cause I know that's a Caucasian.
See, I grew up, you know, avery traditional way and, and
they were Asian nail salons andthat's what I'm comfortable with.
That's the only ones I trust.
They have perfected that craft.
I do not want to see it in front ofa white woman and make small talk.

(42:34):
I just don't any y'all go aroundand say, you know, they're talking
about you in their language.
You know, I don't give a fuck.
What's that?
My business, it's not.
Look, if they don't wanna call mea fat bitch in their own language
to each other, okay, I'll neverknow and I'm leaving with my nails.
Okay.
That don't matter to me.

Beck (42:51):
That's hilarious

Dash (42:52):
She's a treasure.
if you don't already, go followher, @sisterponbabe on TikTok.
I actually, just because of doing,looking up these videos, I found
out that she has a Facebook pagetoo, so I followed her on Facebook.
But that's one thing, like, I likeabout the way social media has gone
kind of more video and stuff is, like,getting to hear people talk, getting to

(43:14):
hear the way people talk about things.
Like That's come in reallyclutch lately well, I don't know.
We could, uh, clearly do thisforever But maybe we should
hear from this week's sponsor

Beck (43:24):
Sounds good

Dash (43:28):
So this episode of Queernecks is brought to you by cut-off jean
shorts Cutoff jean shorts are thehighest rank a pair of jeans can
achieve, earned through years ofdependable service and repeated washing.
There's a common misconceptionthat people decide how long
to make has never been true.
The denim decides.

(43:48):
Every pair contains a heretoforeunknown natural stopping point that
one day reveals itself as a hole.
The location of said hole decideswhat kind of garment you're
about to witness the birth of.
A hole at the knee produces arespectable church picnic-length short.
A hole above the knee suggestsa hotter summer than expected.
catastrophic tear near the pocket createsa garment intended for mowing, porch

(44:11):
sitting, and blessing the neighbors.
The edges remain unfinished becausenature rarely provides a clean line.
The loose threads improveairflow and remind everyone
that perfection is expensive.
And every stain becomespart of the design.
The paint, grease, berry juice,motor oil, and grass all age
denim with bespoke dignity.

(44:32):
It is everyday use couture.
And no two pairs are alike becauseno two lives wear exactly the same.
The late great J.R.
Keith called his rattiest pair whenpaired with some tennis shoes and
half-calf gym socks, no shirt, anda trucker hat, his Superman outfit.
With your attire in sport mode,you're capable of the impossible.

(44:54):
The humble denim pants, a staple ofrural working culture, enters its final
Pokémon form and becomes invincible.
if you've been faithful along theride, they'll take you with them.
Cutoff jean shorts carry the memory of thejeans that came before them and optimism
that gone is not always forgotten.
now back to Queernecks, where we too arefraying but covering the important bits.

(45:18):
I'm wearing my jean

Beck (45:20):
I don't even own a pair of jeans to have jean shorts, so couldn't
tell you the last time I owned jeans.
I've either got sweatpantsor teacher pants

Dash (45:28):
I wore jeans to work this, a, a whole past year.
There's no, like, at the university Iwas working at so everybody just wear…
Some people wear shorts.
so I'm like,

Beck (45:42):
There were some days I would wear my nice sweatpants under my sweaters
and nobody knew the difference.
So that's where I was last semester.
It was sweatpants to campus kind of days.

Dash (45:51):
Yehaw.

Beck (45:53):
I also did my entire undergraduate in, uh, in my pajamas, I'm one of
those people that wears their pajamasto Walmart, but I don't go to Walmart
I just like comfortable clothes
Jeans feel like a prison

Dash (46:04):
yeah I'm a big fan of ball shorts.

Beck (46:08):
That's what I'm wearing
right now is pair of ball shorts

Dash (46:11):
when I would get like, when I would be bloated or something
from like my period, could gain15, 20 pounds in a day from that.
And

Beck (46:20):
Yeah

Dash (46:20):
you start off the day and you're okay, and by the time you
get home you feel like a sausageroll And then add wearing binders
or something on top of it, dreadful.
Like, I just

Beck (46:33):
Yeah.

Dash (46:33):
by the

Beck (46:33):
Oh, I bet

Dash (46:34):
some, some days What are y'all gonna do for the Fourth?
You gonna do any, yougonna go see any fireworks?

Beck (46:40):
Probably not because of Pita.
She does not do well with noisysituations and, and random bangs.
We have…
The, the doctor gave us a combination.
It's a gabapentin and a trazodone thatwe give her, and we gave it to her the
other night, and we went to the drive-inmovie, and she was still barking.
So I don't know.
We'll see

Dash (47:00):
I saw on Facebook Andy Beshear Had his dog in it w- it was, uh,
Yeah, like noise-canceling earmuffsfor dogs, I guess Which I, I don't

Beck (47:17):
no

Dash (47:18):
I was, my thought was like, that can't be real.
If it's a real thing, I mean, that,that's cool and stuff, but I'm just
trying to imagine what PETA would do toyou if you tried to put ear muffs on her.

Beck (47:30):
I'd come back with some stubs instead of fingers.

Dash (47:32):
You only try

Beck (47:34):
'Cause she bites

Dash (47:35):
Yeah

Beck (47:35):
she doesn't wanna do something.
she's a biter.
She doesn't have a lot of teethleft, so it doesn't hurt a whole
lot, but she, she gets in there.

Dash (47:43):
If there was some, like, remote location you could go and park at
and still see them but, like, notbe close enough to freak her out

Beck (47:55):
That's a possibility, but, um,
it's also might rain tonight, so there'sa chance for thunderstorms this evening.
Didn't stop 'em last night, though.
were big,
like,

Dash (48:00):
night

Beck (48:01):
u- light up the room thunder booms.

Dash (48:03):
I don't, I mean, I don't know.
I, I sleep through stuff.
Between not being able to hear and myCPAP machine, if, if the house was on
fire, it w- if, the heat would wakeme up before anything else would.
Like, I would be like, "Ooh, it's sweaty.
Oh, God, the house is on fire.
We should get out."

Beck (48:21):
It'd be the sprinklers in my ap- apartment

Dash (48:24):
Oh, we don't have those.

Beck (48:25):
We have a sprinkler system.

Dash (48:27):
I don't even have smoke detectors actually

Beck (48:29):
Oh my God, you need to fix that, friend

Dash (48:33):
But…
So there might be somesomewhere, I don't know.
There's, there's one right here,and the battery was taken out
of it, and I didn't know why.
And so when I moved in, I put itback in there, and then the first
time I took a shower it went off.
And I was like, "That's whythe battery's taken out of it."
The steam from the shower sets it off.
So it's at a stupid spot.
So I did buy some that I can putplaces that don't get steamy, 'cause

(48:54):
there's one in the kitchen, but thekitchen doesn't have any ventilation.
The whole house doesn'thave any ventilation.
And so the slightestsmoke will set them off.
So I've gotta put them other places.
And I've just been lazy,

Beck (49:06):
Yeah, that's a problem in my apartment too.
Doesn't even have to besmoky, just has to be hot

Dash (49:11):
my mom used to say that my Aunt Jenny used the smoke detectors
as the, as like the cooking timer.
That's

Beck (49:19):
Yehaw

Dash (49:21):
But she also did

Beck (49:24):
Well, there's that

Dash (49:25):
Did you bring a noun of Appalachian interest?

Beck (49:27):
I did, a very regional one today.

Dash (49:30):
You

Beck (49:31):
Let me pull it up here
Something that I love very much.
All right, this week's noun ofAppalachian interest is Heiner's bread.
Now, we're not talking about the kind ofbread that comes in a paper sleeve and
acts like it spent a semester abroad.
We're talking about Heiner's,which comes in the classic red
bag and is soft as a cloud.
It's made for sandwiches,just like lunchboxes intended.

(49:53):
Heiner's comes from Huntington, WestVirginia, where Charles and Kate
Heiner started baking bread in 1905.
That means this bread has been feedingpeople for over a century, which is
a long time for anything to survive,especially something that usually ends
up with peanut butter stuck to it.
And that's part of whatmakes Heiner's special.
It's not a fancy bread.
it never needed to be.
Heiner's know what it came here to do,and it came here to hold fried bologna.

(50:15):
It came here to become grilled cheese.
It came here to wrap itself arounda juicy tomato slice in July
and risk it all, knowing thatbread will hold up to the meal.
There is something very Appalachianabout a thing that does its job
without asking for applause.
Heiner's just sits there in thebread aisle, soft and dependable,
waiting to go home with somebodywho already knows exactly what kind
of sandwich they are going to make.

(50:35):
Fun fact, I lived down the streetfrom Heiner's Bakery in the late '90s
and the early 2000s, and the smellwhen they were baking must be what
you smell when you get to heaven.
It was otherworldly.
For people in West Virginia, SouthernOhio, Eastern Kentucky, and all the
places close enough to feel connected,Heiner's is one of those grocery
store names that sneaks up on you.
You may not think about it much when yousee it every week, but let somebody move

(50:57):
away and come back home for a visit.
Suddenly, that bread baglooks like a childhood.
It looks like lunches packed beforeschool and somebody standing in
the kitchen making food for peoplewho needed to get out the door.
I know I've purchased endless bags of itat the Briar Patch on trips to see my mom.
Heiner's was family-owned for many yearsbefore it was sold in, in the 1990s.
After that, it passed through biggercompanies because that is what happens,

(51:19):
but folks still call it Heiner'sbecause that's what it is to them.
And you can change the businesspapers, but you cannot change
what something means in a kitchen.
Heiner's will always tastelike my mom's cooking.
So this week, we honor Heiner'sbread, the soft sandwich bread that
never needed to be anything else.
May your loaf be fresh, yoursandwich holds together, and your
tomato behaves itself for once.
And if you see Heiner's in thestore, go ahead and get yourself

(51:41):
a loaf or three, and then squeezethat little bag there a little.
You were going to anyway.
Someone send me some already.
I've become a northern heathenand eat wheat bread now.
Heiner's would be so disappointed

Dash (51:56):
Yeah, they don't…
Well, it's not that they don'thave this where, where I grew up,
but this wasn't really a thing.
it was probably there, butI don't remember, you know

Beck (52:06):
Yeah, the, the Heiner's Old Fashioned bread was, was like the staple.
And then in the '90s in the diet craze,they came out with Heiner's 35, which
was just very thinly sliced bread.
It was the exact same bread,just super thinly sliced.
They had a 35 calories for you.
Like, they had a whole littlejingle and everything that
still lives in my head rent-free

Dash (52:26):
Yeah, I see a picture of it here

Beck (52:27):
but like I said, I lived a few blocks down from it, and oh
my God, the smell was amazing.
Just industrial bread baking.
Oh, what I would have given for afresh hot loaf off the, off the line.
They used to give tours where theydid that at the end, and they stopped
doing them before I moved to WestVirginia, so I missed that entirely

Dash (52:48):
And Huntington, I mean, m- m- ha- makes quite a few food things.
West Virginia in general

Beck (52:56):
for sure Huntington is more in the game than people like
to give it a, uh, credit for.

Dash (53:01):
Mm-hmm.

Beck (53:02):
Most people have a cousin somewhere near Huntington too, I have learned

Dash (53:07):
It is the sixth degree

Beck (53:10):
My favorite is you're from West Virginia.
I have a cousin from Richmond

Dash (53:13):
Right.

Beck (53:15):
Richmond is in Virginia.

Dash (53:16):
Sinister
has a, video on, is it Huntington Beach,

Beck (53:23):
There's Virginia Beach

Dash (53:25):
Virgi- yeah, maybe it was Virginia Beach.
And she's like, "Why the fuck wouldanybody go to V- Virginia Beach?"

Beck (53:31):
My nephew lives there, which I still don't know why
He doesn't have any family down thereor anything, but he likes it, so

Dash (53:37):
Who knows why we where we do

Beck (53:39):
His only option otherwise is to move back to Portsmouth.
Well, nobody wants him to move backto Portsmouth 'cause there's just no
opport- Like, he can getdifferent jobs there.
He can work at FedEx, he can workat Kroger, he can work at Chipotle,
he can work at the gun range,he can work as a security guard.
There's all kinds of work for him there.
In Portsmouth, therewould be nothing for him.
Taco Bell and Domino's.
Taco Bell drive-throughs and, and pizzadelivery would really be about it.

(54:02):
And he shouldn't be driving.
God, I hope he doesn't hear that,but he should not be driving
Can't believe somebody gave hima license, to be honest with you

Dash (54:09):
As we've learned, they kind of give those away.
You know, it's, it's harderto do the fucking paperwork
than it is to pass the test

Beck (54:16):
Yehaw, for real

Dash (54:19):
When I was studying for the Minnesota one though, because I,
I thought they were gonna makeme retake the test when I moved
here, 'cause they said they did.
They said even if you have a license whenyou come here, you have to take the test
again, which I was like, "Damn, okay."
it turned out to not be true.
But I learned some interesting thingsfrom it because apparently now, you
know how the, it, the, it used tobe your hands go at 10:00 and 2:00?

(54:41):
Apparently that's not the case anymore.
It's 9:00 and 3:00 now

Beck (54:44):
Shanna let her license go expired, expired and didn't
realize it for, like, a year.
So when she went to get her licenserenewed, she had to take the whole
test, the driving test, the writtenpart, all of it all over again.
And we learned a lot about it then too.
Yeah, she had to learn tore- how to parallel park.
That was not fun.
But she made it.
Maneuver.
Maneuverability.
It's the parallel parking.
It's not.

(55:05):
Shanna's home.
She says hi

Dash (55:09):
I couldn't parallel park until all of a sudden one day I could.
It, it's we- it's like the, the

Beck (55:16):
Yeah, that's kinda how it works
I'm pretty good at it, knock on wood.
Now I won't be able to do it again forthe rest of my life by bragging on it.
But I did it yester- yesterday?
Was that when I got ahaircut was yesterday?
Thursday?
Thursday I got a haircut, and I had todo it downtown BG, and I did it first try

Dash (55:32):
Well, I guess let's go have the day.
Um

Beck (55:36):
Are you gonna go watch fireworks anywhere?

Dash (55:38):
know.
I was, I was looking into it.
They're, they, they're having their littlestreet party here, but it just doesn't
interest me, 'cause all they do is drink.
you know, I'm not really morallyopposed to it, but it's, that's not for
me, so I don't know what I would do.
It's not like there's other shit

Beck (55:54):
A

Dash (55:54):
That's what they're doing, is drinking.

Beck (55:57):
Yehaw

Dash (55:58):
somewhere around dusk hopefully a bad cover band will break out somewhere.
That will be interesting.

Beck (56:04):
Yehaw

Dash (56:04):
And then I hope that they blow
up.
But I'll, I'll see if Ican, can find something.
And if nothing else, I definitelyam gonna go for a bike ride, I think

Beck (56:15):
Yeah.
Good.
Good

Dash (56:17):
Oh, you remember you, you gave us…
We did a photo assignment oneweek but that was the week that we
lost half of the episode becauseof the internet connection.

Beck (56:25):
Mm-hmm.

Dash (56:26):
So it, was it dramatic bitches?

Beck (56:28):
Yes, that was the assignment

Dash (56:30):
All right.
You wanna tell the listenersabout the photo assignments again?

Beck (56:35):
So long story short, when my mom passed away the only way that I got myself
out of bed for a long time was to go tothis very special park near my house.
It's a flower garden, and I wastaking really fun pictures of
all kinds of different flowers.
And I would give myself these littlephoto assignments like do something
red today, do something yellowtoday, or do the rainbow this week.

(56:56):
Or the one that I'm going to assign forus this week is the dramatic bitches one.
Basically, if you look at nature, thereare all kinds of dramatic bitches out
there from different kinds of flowers.
Like, I remember…
I'll try to find the photo if I can,but it was basically a black plant with,
like, black lace and purple flowers.
It's the coolest thing Ihave, like, have ever seen.
And I got one of those at the park.

(57:18):
There's beautyberry.
There's all kinds of other, of reallycool things that you can do with that.
And it's a lot of fun.
It doesn't have to be of flowers.
If you wanna do this project, itdoesn't have to be of flowers.
Just anything, you know, in the world.
Uh, but that's where Istarted, was doing pictures.
That's not where I started.
That's where I, with this kind of thing.
I started a photographystudio a long time ago.
But I just used my cellphone.

(57:38):
I didn't even break out my good camera.
I got some really beautiful shots from it.
And, and it really makes you problemsolve and be a creative thinker.
So I highly recommend it

Dash (57:47):
I saw something on my last bike ride that seemed really dramatic to
me, so I'm gonna see if I can findit again and, and get a photo of it.
and if you wanna join us, uh,in our photo assignment for the
week, go outside, even if…
Or if you don't wanna go outside, ifyou see something out your window.
Let's, uh, just find somethingi- in the world that fits the

(58:09):
dramatic bitch's nature brief.
And I'll, I'll post mine on the Facebookand the Instagram, and you can comment
yours or post your own and tag us.
What's, what's the hashtag?
Tag Queernecks and then thehashtag is dramaticbitches

Beck (58:28):
Sounds good to me

Dash (58:29):
All right, well, you know, America hasn't earned a nice
birthday party, but we have.
So go have some fun.
Have some fun this week.
By the time this episode comesout, the Fourth will be over.
We hope you had some fun.
And, uh, we'll see you next time.
So say hi to your mom and them.

Beck (58:47):
Bye
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know
Dateline NBC

Dateline NBC

Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com

Betrayal Weekly

Betrayal Weekly

Betrayal Weekly is back for a new season. Every Thursday, Betrayal Weekly shares first-hand accounts of broken trust, shocking deceptions, and the trail of destruction they leave behind. Hosted by Andrea Gunning, this weekly ongoing series digs into real-life stories of betrayal and the aftermath. From stories of double lives to dark discoveries, these are cautionary tales and accounts of resilience against all odds. From the producers of the critically acclaimed Betrayal series, Betrayal Weekly drops new episodes every Thursday. If you would like to share your story, you can reach out to the Betrayal Team by emailing them at betrayalpod@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod and @glasspodcasts. Please join our Substack for additional exclusive content, curated book recommendations, and community discussions. Sign up FREE by clicking this link Beyond Betrayal Substack. Join our community dedicated to truth, resilience, and healing. Your voice matters! Be a part of our Betrayal journey on Substack.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2026 iHeartMedia, Inc.

  • Help
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • AdChoicesAd Choices