Episode 194 - This one's for the olds

The olds take over talking stick shifts, cat skulls, Kevdogg cursing on air, pancake innies, Tommy Lee, decades of dogs, Meredith fan fiction, drowning the baby, and the Croc meets Ann B. Davis!

Episode Transcript

(00:02):
Oh man, the girls are fighting aren't they?
I didn't write that, but I was

(00:23):
sure by it school. Bing bong, Bing bong, Bing bong
Bing bong. It was meaty.

(00:46):
I apologize in advance for what you are about to hear.
Quitters never give up. Mr. Steve, a cigar slide on my
Journey account. Go ahead.
Repping for all of quitters. Never give up.
Check off Christopher, Check off.
Jen Pastorini, check off Lindsay.
Hello, Drew. The great Edwin, ladies and
gentlemen. I love him so much because I

(01:07):
said quitters never give up. And he said that's all they do.
Like listen to two cats in heat,catwomen in heat.
That's right of the moon. Get Moon go Moon post.
All of party people. It is quitters.
Oh, no, no, no, no more. No, no.
Murder. I thought it would be funny to

(01:28):
put in the Steven Seagal track because they mentioned him this
week on the Ralph Report and it's bad.
I had to listen to that for about 5 seconds.
OK, it is Quitters Never Give up.
Episode 194. We got all the quitters here.
Let's go ahead and say hello to the first one.
From Montebello. Edwin, hi there.

(01:50):
You ready for your your song? All right, sing us a song,
Edwin. I'm ready for my song.
Let me sing you some J Giles. My Angel was a centerfold.
My blood runs cold. Oh yeah, all.
Right, let's go ahead and say hello to the next quitter.
Inquiring minds want to know about Jennifer and her
collection. How you doing Jennifer?

(02:13):
Hey party people, I'm doing good.
Nice. No, no, Drew, let's go ahead and
say hello to Lindsay. So here's what you missed in the
Glee Project last week. It was all about believability.
Alex had a genuine breakdown in vocals, which inspired Lindsay
to turn on the Waterworks. I'm fine, you are.
Hello and thank you for playing the Glee Project clip I

(02:34):
submitted. You're welcome, Chris.
Congratulations you bastard. Oh, and that's me.
How you doing? OK, let's get things started and
let me start off with a quittersNever give up Teabagger outdoor
movie night announcement. All right, so on July 5th, it's
going to be the anniversary, the40th anniversary of back to the

(02:56):
future. So they've decided to play back
to the future. So we're going to go back in
time at 17 O 9. Watch them Back to the Future at
Mike's house. So that's going to be July 5th
and the same deal. I think $10.
And they're going to have food along with the theme.
I think they'll probably have Pepsi because Pepsi was the

(03:17):
drink back then. That's disappointing, but it'll
be true to the genre. Do we all have to wear jacket
vests? Yes, puffy vests, please.
So that we look like we just gotoff of a ship, Remember?
That was a joke. He went in the diner and they're
like what? You got to fall off a boat?

(03:37):
Life jacket? No, What?
What? Remember.
What diner? What at the beginning when he
went back in time the. First time 00.
OK, then he met the mayor, but the mayor was kind of like just
working in the diner and he saidyou can be mayor and gave him
the idea to be mayor and he asked for a tab, but they didn't
have a tab because it was the 50s.

(04:00):
And right. Then he asked for Pepsi free and
they said no, you have to pay for your Pepsi.
So he just took a regular Pepsi.Right, I remember it now.
Don't you remember? Said.
Marty, we gotta go back to the future.
I. Watched the third one.
So the third one was filmed up here in that western town.
I watched that one not too long ago.
So because Back to the Future went to the 50s and then the

(04:23):
second one went to the future, right?
And then the third one went backto the 1800s, right?
Yeah, the train. Yeah.
The the second one went back, went to the future, which is 10
years ago, which is one year less than we do the week that
was and. Stay on target, stay on target.

(04:44):
So it's making perfect sense. Keep going.
And then and then the third one,he gets what what happens the
the lightning bolt hits him and he winds up back in the back in
the western days. He does.
And then he figures out that he's going to kill, he's going
to get shot by Biff. And so he goes back in time.
And then they ride a train at the end, which was.
Very weird. Yeah.

(05:05):
And I watched A Million Ways to Die in the West the other day
because I'm I'm doing the same week you guys are doing this
week. And I just, I had to hear it.
And it happened to be on just whatever on Netflix, the new
one. And and when they have that one
quick scene where Seth Macfarlane's character, there's
a barn and all this lightning coming through it, he walks over

(05:27):
there and it's whatever doc and he's trying to hide.
Yeah, I try to have the nice reference years later, but it
was awesome. Nice.
All right, all right. Let's go with messages.
We got some messages. We got one from Steve.
But a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit, a bit.
Grab her around the campfire. Let me tell you a little story

(05:50):
about how I first learned to getmy car permit and drive OK
'cause there used to be a thing called a manual transmission.
And my stepmother had a car thatshe converted to that because
she liked driving that kind of car, even though it wasn't made

(06:11):
for that. This Buicks car dark and that's
what I had to take my test in. And that clutch, Oh, Boondoggie,
Let me tell you, that thing was the toughest clutch I ever used
to drive. When I got my car my dad bought
me, it was a manual transmission, had nice easy
clutch on that towed Corolla thing that had primer all over

(06:32):
the door. So kids, you just remember that
old man Stoneman here. Just yeah, Stoneman.
Nice snowman. He's referencing 2 episodes ago

(06:54):
when we were talking about learning how to drive.
Right. I learned how to drive stick
shift the same way I learned howto drive automatic, which is I
had to buy 1 and I had to teach myself driving home, right?
So yeah, but everybody but Lindsay knows how to drive a
stick shift, right? I.

(07:15):
Think so. OK.
Just saying, remember that there's a meme out there and I
think it's a picture of a stick shift and it's something like
Gen. Z or Gen.
Millennial, whatever theft preventer.
And not not a lot of kids today know how to do that, and there's
not a lot of need for it anymore.

(07:36):
Well, not. They don't make a lot of cars
with stick shifts in them anymore.
Nope. Nope.
Nope. Nope.
There might be a truck or two, but that might be it.
I don't even think there's trucks like that anymore.
All the new trucks I've seen have like like buttons and
stuff. Oh yeah.
So years ago when I worked at Automotive, one of our
dealerships was a McLaren dealership.

(07:58):
Oh damn. So I got to go to the Sonoma
race thing up there. It's called something else now
and it had these weird paddles that you had to shift on the
steering wheel. Yeah, on the paddle shifters.
Couldn't figure that out at all.Like just give me a stick shift.
All right, all right, all right.Let's get this boat back on
track. Let's start with the flashback.

(08:20):
Everybody Bing Bong 6:00 here onthe big wattage powerhouse will
be flashing back to the 1980s folks.
So just dig around. Hello and welcome to a very
special flashback, because I'm going to introduce you nad
flashbacks and now flashbacks. Let's have.

(08:41):
A look at this. Just play the intro.
This one's for the olds you. Know, I was thinking about as I
was reading the story about the New World's oldest man who
happens to be an American, we think back to, you know, World
War 2 as being ancient history. I mean, 1939 when that war
began. Look, I'm old and that was well
before my parents were born. This guy who's now the oldest

(09:04):
man in the world was already 36 years old.
What World War 2 began and he's still alive.
He's 111. Here's the news audio After
blowing out these candles at hisrecent birthday celebration,
Alex Image has earned himself title of oldest man in the
world, a distinction he honors with humor.

(09:24):
I don't know, simply didn't die earlier.
Alex was born in Poland in February 19 O3 just months after
the Wright brothers flew an airplane.
He recalls the first time he sawone land.
There was no place to land inside, so outside from the sea.

(09:49):
And while shrugging off his new title, he credits good genes,
athletics and a minimal diet to his longevity.
I could listen to her talk to him all day.
And this is his answer to that last question.
I was not drinking no alcohol, Right?
No alcohol. Is that what he's saying?
That is one of the things that he attributes his life to.
Yeah. Is that he never drank alcohol.

(10:10):
Well, good interview. Good interview.
First of all, I have to say for the day.
But die younger to be honest anddrink, right.
Well, let's not mock her. Try to talk to the new oldest
man in the world because we're about to try to do the same
thing on the phone. 111 years old from New York City.
Alexander Imec joins us on the Kevin Amico.
Hi, Mr. Imec. Hey.

(10:31):
Can we call you Alex, or is it Alexander?
What do you go by? Hello.
Yeah, I can call me. We can call you.
What? Yes.
Come on. We just.

(10:51):
We just started. What was that?
Are you OK? You didn't die, did you?
It'd be terrible if we killed the oldest man in the world.
It'd be awesome. You can we call?
What? Can we call?
What? Goodnight, everybody.

(11:23):
So, Al, I got nothing else. Turn the top as you call me, Al.
So you're really old. Yeah, you're old, he said.

(11:46):
Yeah, I'm old. You still getting your share of
the tail, though? Oh yeah, yeah, I like big butts.
And I can. What has been the most
surprising or remarkable thing you've seen living through all

(12:07):
of the 20th century? Should we just bail?
Alex, You OK A nurse with you? Is this too much for you?

(12:28):
OK, we're going to let you go tosleep, maybe for a long, long
time. The most amazing thing, The most
amazing thing I've seen, you've seen get up these boobies.
Yeah, well, nothing wrong with that.
I'm surprised they didn't give you a heart attack motorboat.

(12:53):
Right. I like big butts.
OK, oh, classic. So I'm finally catching up to
Eddie. So these came during the week
that we were off, so I thought that it was safe to bring them.
So just so you know. Yeah, OK.

(13:13):
Oh, man, it's it's weird that Eddie didn't bring that in,
considering they interviewed himon the phone, called him up.
Maybe you can call me Al Joke. Hilarious.
You don't want to say anything. All right, next clip.

(13:35):
It doesn't always have to be about me all.
Right, here we go. Thanks for that tweet, Dame.
How dare you, by the way. How dare you.
We've dragged this picture back on the radio before we get into
thanks for that tweet being, I would like just for Ralph's head
to explode. I would like for being to
explain to people what his avatar is on his Twitter

(13:57):
account. What are you talking about?
Why is that a tell? Why do you ask that?
Just tell Ralph. Tell.
What's your avatar? Just say what?
Just a picture. Just a picture of a thing I
like. You know, I changed my avatar.
Sometimes. I just put up a thing.
What's the thing you like? Picture of Meredith, right?
Meredith. Meredith Baxter.
Bernie. Taylor Swift's cat.

(14:19):
Holy crap. Yeah, he's the same old cat.
Come on, Dad. Taylor Swift's cat has a very
large online fan club bed and presents.
She's very popular. Hugh Taylor puts up a lot of
pictures of her chat. Her cat's a little bit of a
celebrity of her own. And I just, I think she's a four

(14:40):
tweet. So that's what it means, right?
Tweet. I want to sit on fire.
These are actual tweets being wedon't need further explanation.
We understand them all. We just but I think sometimes
you guys unfairly judge because you take them out of context.
Oh, because we read them becausewe read them the way someone on
Twitter might are you might whatstuff up Ralph, or are you?

(15:02):
No, these are all actually tweets that bean has written and
then proceeded to hit send and tweet it out to the world.
Well, let's hear a few. So I think the context actually
is is perfect. I think it's exactly what it is,
which is these are words that you tweeted.
All right, let's hear what you're While all you lemmings
were wishing Cat Corbett a happybirthday yesterday, I was

(15:25):
picking my spot today to be the only one still in the game.
Is that you bragging? Just wishing Kat a happy
birthday, that's all. That's all I was doing nothing
wrong with that. But a day late.
So you were saying. Oh, yeah, I did.
I did miss her. You were saying I win.
Yes, I win. Yeah.

(15:45):
And then that tweet Bane couldn't just.
How about happy belated birthday?
Could you have done that? That would have been another way
to go instead of instead of dressing.
You didn't ask Hillary. My pancake isn't any what the

(16:07):
what the hell is that even? What does that even mean with a
photo of my pancake? They had a little dip there
where the syrup collects right there in the middle.
Looked like an innie belly button.
I just was taken by that. Wow, how taken can you be by
that? Just unusual.
Is that something that's something you see normally
occurring in your pancakes? You know how much I love my

(16:30):
pancakes and it was just a surprise.
That's that tweet. Every time I remember that one
of the Fat Boys is dead. It's my personal 911.
How long that goes. That goes without say.
I think we all share that sentiment.
Well, it's a sadder place. How often do you have that

(16:50):
thought? Well, when it comes up, you
know, I'm just saying it makes you sad it come up.
I hear a lot of Fat Boys songs and rotation.
It just makes she sat all over again.
I listen to a lot of the, you know, like the classic hip hop
stations and things like that. Fat boys are going crazy extra
hard today, huh? How dare you.
Is that one? Is nothing serious the Fat Boy

(17:12):
channel? Do they have that?
That's backspad is what That's the channel tweet.
Now that Kevin Ryder got his photo with Alexandria Ambrosio,
I am more determined than ever to find Gordon Lightfoot.
You guys are with me on that. You support dreams, right?

(17:33):
Not yours. No thanks for that tweet.
It's dumb. Good to wake up to George
Michael's One More Try on the radio and get the weepiest part
of your day out of the way. First thing.
That's an F and sad song, man. You realize that when you hear
it again. How many of us that is wrong?
We've heard that song in years. And who's weeping to George

(17:57):
Michael songs? I'm just saying, when you hear
it, you realize how sad. Thanks for that tweet.
Whoa, I'm glad I got that out ofthe way.
Hey other cities baseball fans, what does it mean when you have
AW next to your team's name and the scores?
Mariners had lost a lot in a rowwith self deprecating human from

(18:20):
being started, starting to forget what it was like, but
they've rebounded. They're above 500 now, so it's
all that is good news for nobodylistening that tweet.
Big Mariners win a game or Mariners are losing a lot.
Why? Why is it?
Why is it a convoluted Riddle ofa Twitter?
You have to figure out of the diagram set to see what the hell

(18:41):
you're talking about. Hey, other cities baseball fans.
What does it mean when you have AW next to your team's name and
the scores cat people? Is that described as a pyramid
somewhere? All right, we're out of time,
guys. We, we got to go Penguin Cam,
stat. I'm going to the Penguin Cam, by

(19:06):
the way, sit in here and listen to being talk about the goddamn
Penguin Cam all week. It's absurd.
That's all it was. Even if someone wanted to see
the Penguin Cam, I wouldn't knowfrom that tweet where to go.
You can't include a link. I did.
There was a link. There was a link to the Penguin
Cam. It was on there.
But I'm just saying, look, that's a, that's a tweet bane.

(19:27):
That is a tweet bane. People followed me up with a
tweet bane. I want a heads up.
And lastly, I feel like the letter Q should come earlier in
the alphabet. That is the one they got
retweeted to Ralph and I the most.
Yeah. From people saying you have to

(19:48):
do things for that tweet, Bean, about this tweet.
Universal derision. They're turning you in, Bean.
What kind of nonsense is that? Who's got time in their day to
think about the order of the alphabet?
And how can one letter feel likeit should go anywhere else than
where it is? It's just sometimes you look at
it and just looks all hinky, just looks all out of balance or
something like that. I just feel like Q is down
there. It's too close to like the WS

(20:10):
and the X's and the Z. You're stupid if it.
Moved way to the left. I feel like it would be much
more balanced. You guys know what I'm talking
about. No, you're stupid and dumb and
absurd. I hope.
Thanks for that tweet, Ralph. What?
I hope you choke on an indie pancake.
It's a pancake. Was that the beginning of

(20:34):
stupid, dumb, absurd? I think he'd started saying it
before that, but I think Ralph starts picking it up around this
time for drunk Kevin. Super dumb.
Absurd. Yes, yes.
And I just checked Bean's Twitter account and now he's

(20:54):
only posting on blue Sky and on blue.
What's it called on blue Sky? When you do a post, is it called
it? Is it just a post like Facebook
or is it like a tweet or does itcalled anything?
It's called a bluey. For real, that's awesome.
I like that. So is anyone following him over
there? We should do our own.

(21:15):
We should. Yeah, left I I'm on there, but I
didn't Here's the hard thing with God damn social media is
it's like everybody started on Facebook, right?
And then Twitter came or Myspace, but whatever.
And then Twitter came along And so then it's like, OK, you
balance the two different people.
You follow whatever that Instagram came along and then I

(21:39):
don't even know. There's so many and Telegram and
blue sky and it's just kind of like, but Facebook was where it
originally started. So that's why that's where most
of my contacts are. So it's like, how do you go find
them on these other social mediaplatforms?
It's kind of like when we used to buy, well, when I bought
cassette tapes and then I had tobuy vinyl and then I had to buy

(22:01):
CDs and then I had. To you bought vinyl, then no
vinyl, then eight track, then cassette, then CDs.
Well, it's cuz it's cuz I was, Iwas a poor kid.
So all I could afford was the cassettes and like a cassette
player. And then I got some vinyl and
then I got CDs. And then you have to buy it all
over again in Apple Music and load it onto your iPod.

(22:26):
And then you get rid of your iPod.
It's, it's the same thing. Now you're on, Now people are on
Spotify. And Yeah, yeah.
So what's your Maybe I'll? Follow him on there.
What's your blue sky, Jen? It's probably Jen Sunshine like
it is on everything else. I haven't logged in in forever.

(22:46):
Blue Sky social app. Quitters Never Give Up is on
Blue Sky, which is what Christopher is subtly hinting
at. OK, good to know.
I started. Following give us a follow.
All right, all right, another clip.
Nope, that's it. Nope, that's it.
OK, let me take over. Jesus Christ, you.

(23:16):
Get it. And when you want her to pull
out your podcast, we got. It.
This has psychologists truly andgenuinely worried.

(23:37):
I would, Yeah. This is the beginning of
something awful. How you doing, guys?
Podcast Roundup. Let's start off with The Janky
Town. I think it's a new podcast.
I haven't heard them play anything in a while, so let's
see what they got. Now I don't know if this is real
or not, but whoa, what a story. Tommy Lee, the drummer, is
married to Brittany Ferlin. She's like an old viner now.

(24:00):
She's like kind of tries to do stand up or something like that,
but they're married and she cheated on Tommy Lee with Rodney
Radke from Escape the Fate or the band Falling in her verse
and she's been doing it on Snapchat.
OK. And once it was exposed, Tommy
Lee confronted Rodney Radke and was like, bro, why are you like
messaging my wife? Like what the F he was like bro,

(24:23):
that's not me. That's a a catfish Snapchat
account. And then Brittany Ferlin,
realizing that she's been cheating on Tommy Lee with a
catfish, is now doing everythingshe can to prove that it was
Rodney Radke. Rodney's lawyers had to
literally get involved and be like, Brittany, let us hold your

(24:43):
hand when we say this. You were cheating with a
catfish. That was not Rodney Radke.
You just dropped the bag with Tommy Lee.
You've been you've been messaging someone that's
probably like a 15 year old living in North Dakota in their
mom's basement. And and she was so upset to find
out that she wasn't cheating with Rodney Radke.

(25:06):
Like how embarrassing. OK, so I had to look it up.
And yes, this story is true. So they are now separated and
Brittany's living in a hotel. But does a plot twist.
She now has restraining orders against Rodney Radke.
I, I don't know who that is. I don't know, I know who she is.

(25:28):
I know who Tommy Lee is. But imagine getting catfished on
Snapchat. And it's crazy that Snapchat is
still around. I hear the kids use it for
buying drugs and sending nudies and stuff like that.
So I guess it's for cheating too.
So if your partner has Snapchat,you know, might want to might

(25:49):
want to see what's up. So this was a weird story.
I hadn't heard anything about it.
I didn't look it up because Jankytown verified it, so it's
got to be true 100%. But Tommy Lee, you know, from
the Pam Anderson, from the Married to Pam Anderson and
Mötley Crüe and all that stuff, is getting cheated on by his
current wife with some guy in a band that I don't know about.

(26:11):
I don't know, but let's ask Tommy Lee what he thinks.
When live throws you a curveballlemonade.
Good to see he's got a good perspective on everything.
He always puts it in perspective.
Exactly. All right, let's go over to 3/4
podcast. They had beer Mug on this week.
Let's hear from Beer mug dude. I mean, let's bring on beer mug

(26:34):
Shelley. Hey Corny, look who's here, beer
mug. Oh my God.
Bowie's happy about it. Bowie loves beer mug.
Hi dude. This is wild you guys.
Thanks for having me. It's the way this came about.
I mean, me being sort of involved with this podcast is
pretty wild. Yeah, tell us about it, because
Bean was very upset because the Kevin swooped in and stole.

(26:57):
You yeah, so Bean had hit me up after I was let go and he's
like, hey mugs I'm he told the story on on his podcast and I
said sure Bean let me just I don't have I had to give back
most of the equipment. I don't have a laptop.
Let me wait and, you know, figure it out.
He's and he's like, great. So I probably waited about two

(27:19):
weeks before I told him like, Yep, don't have a laptop yet.
And then I kind of just left it at that.
And then Kevin hit me up like a week later.
He's like, hey, man, you want tohelp me edit this podcast?
I was like, yeah, I just workingon getting it.
I told Kevin to say the same speech.
I'm working on getting a new computer.
Just give me a second. And I actually, for some reason,

(27:41):
I got the computer right after Kevin talked to me.
I, I, I, I think you know, it was so the last.
Person to ask you to dance is the one that actually goes on
the floor with. You it's not good enough when
only Bean contacts you. It has to be Bean and then Kevin
and then then you know, it's like, OK, you got to do
something now all. Right so that's how the story
went. Bean asked him he didn't have a
laptop and then Kevin asked him and he got a laptop and last

(28:04):
person to ask him gotten beer mug.
The other story he brought up was how he licked the bathroom
floor on On K Rock. Don't play it.
I yeah, OK, I'll skip that one, but I'll I'll play a bit of beer
Mug's tattoo. Did you hear Corny describe you
incorrectly on one of the episodes not too long ago?

(28:26):
Like how you got your name? Yeah, yeah, he was very
misinformed, but that happens intoday's.
Age. Can we see the actual tattoo
that led to your nickname? Yes.
I'm glad I'm wearing my sandals.And Kevin, always, always
wearing your sandals. That was what I was going to
say. You always loved when I walked
into the studio at K Rock and wearing.
I had a rule that he couldn't wear sandals because I sat on

(28:47):
the floor. So I'm basically at foot level.
Yeah. What?
The fuck were you doing on the floor?
Yeah, Kevin, what the fuck are you doing on the floor right
there by beer mug's feet? Wasn't that after his accident?
Kevin's. Because his back, his back, he
was always on the floor, on his back, yeah.

(29:08):
Yeah, well, I thought he had back issues for most of his
life. Maybe, but there was an accident
where he almost hit the car. Rolled over.
Did he swerving to hit the cow? What?
Was he swerving because he almost hit a cow or something
like that? He was coming home from Burning
Man and he had to swerve to avoid a cow.
Flipped his car. Yeah, I think that's when his

(29:28):
back issue started. Yeah, I don't know.
Somebody Google it, Google it just a little bit while I move
on to not Today. Here's Jen talking about
lighting and wearing a hat. My forehead does not support a
good ponytail. Look, you should know these
things about yourself. You.
Should Tracy Gray forehead She can rock a pony all day.

(29:51):
I can't do it. No.
And I I look like Mickey Mouse without the ears.
Do you know what I mean? Try to imagine that.
It's horrific nightmare fuel. Awful.
I woke up like this. So that's the.
Perks of being a man. You know, when I did my AMA on
Instagram, somebody did ask what's up with Eddie's hair

(30:13):
lately? What is what does that mean?
Is that is that good or bad? Is like, what's up?
Hey, it looks good, what's up? Or Oh my God, what's he doing?
I was like, I don't know what this means.
Now I want. Hat.
What does that mean? Look.
The main reason I wear the hat is because I'm under lights.
All the jobs that I've had have all been under really extreme

(30:36):
lights, you know? Yeah.
And I don't enjoy them, but I understand their purpose and
they make me look prettier. So it's a balance, you know, I
still. Want to know what's on what's
going on with my hair? I'm.
Sorry, I didn't mean to. You can't throw that fucking
self-conscious grenade at somebody and then just leave it
like. Steve Ashton, do you know what's

(30:57):
going on with Eddie's hair? He looks like he Combs his hair
with a fucking candy apple. Oh, I miss Steve Ashton.
All right, let's go back to a cup of tea.
In a chat, someone asked about Dotu Doto.
Let's play that clip. Now, I happen to love Doto.

(31:20):
I love his stories, I love his life, I love hearing from him.
So I texted Doe and I said, hey,some of our subscribers are just
curious how you doing, If you could give us a call this number
and give us an update on what your life is like.
So for Kevin Bean fans from backin the day, if you're a Doto
fan, here's what he's been up to.
OK, before I start this long clip now remember that he texted

(31:43):
Doe or do to call in and give anupdate.
Hey, babe, this is Mr. Doe too. I'm not sure if you still
Remember Me and I Hey, I got your message, man.
I just. I just drink a cup of coffee and
I'm OK. This is why I love Dodo.
Yeah, because I texted him and he picked up the phone and
called, yet started with. I'm not sure if you Remember Me.
Yeah, even though I'm the one who put the whole thing in

(32:04):
motion. I'm going to tell you I didn't
remember his name was Dodo. He pronounces it differently
every time we get him on the phone.
I don't even think he knows how his name is pronounced.
Pretty much awake. Sorry, man.
I was just. I was just sleeping like like a
dead man. So how's everything going?
So are you still in England? Because I like to come visit
with you sometime. So yeah, right now what's going

(32:25):
on in my life? I'm pretty busy.
I'm pretty much busy working at work for Ally Universal.
And it's just a lot of responsibility.
And I'm, and I'm and I also met,met, met a couple women online
on the Coffee Meets Bean. And I'm kind of busy with, and
I'm also busy with one or two ofthem.
So, yeah, so now Coffee Meets being, I had to look it up, is a
dating app, I guess. And because, you know, Doe, he

(32:46):
needs some babes, right? That's what I'm going to know
about DOTO. But he's very specific, right?
They have to be. What was it, 575-5758?
Yes, yes. OK.
And I thought there was something else he wanted them to
have. I don't remember what it was,
but yeah, DOTO maybe shouldn't be as picky as he is.
But he does have a particular list of things that he insists
on. So I'd definitely like to get in

(33:08):
to the entertainment also eventually have my own podcast.
I talk on a podcast. Everybody that I talk to Bean,
they all told me the same damn thing I do.
You need to have your own podcast, man.
You, you definitely need to get yourself out there.
And you keep talking about it, but you never do, man.
Yeah, now it's due. So it was Doe 2.
Now it's due. By the way, I am one of the
people who has been insisting for decades that he needs to do

(33:29):
a podcast. I would never not listen to a
Doe Toe podcast. The people told me that you do
have what it takes to make it and do well on podcast.
You do have a lot of stuff and you do have a lot of unique
personality. Hopefully, hopefully that that
will work me because I definitely like to to have them
all podcast and do very well because, because I because I do
have a passion to talk in and toto entertain people.

(33:49):
So hopefully somebody could leadme and guide me through the
right direction. Be so I hope so.
So I'm just, I'm just having a cup of coffee and just watching
the news and thanks, man. So I'll talk to you later, man.
So at least I made I made a call.
Tell them I need some babes. Thanks.
Bye. I don't know who we're supposed
to tell you need babes, but you did make the call and I
appreciate it though you. Could just leave it.

(34:10):
I was so ready to say that is sweet and I love him.
And then he's like. And I need babes.
He always needs babes. Anyway, for Dough fans, now you
know what the guy is up to. I miss Dough, you need to have
him on again. I was a little bit insulted
because we gave him advice. We said we'd have him put a

(34:30):
podcast on. And by we, I mean Jennifer and
Lindsay and Christopher and Drew, who do all the work.
No, if I remember right, remember he kept asking us, do
you think Kevin and Bean are madat me?
He was so hooked up on that and now he's calling me.
I guess he's over it like everyone loves you all.

(34:50):
Right. Bean and Ally brought up a
famous fight this week. I guess this is going to go down
in history. Speaking of Pride Month, yeah,
somebody has pointed out how sadit is to see Donald Trump and
Elon Musk breaking up during pipe.
We really wanted those kids to be happy together.
What's going on? Bean, did you wake up to all of
that this morning? I saw it last night before bed.

(35:12):
It was all starting to break because my time difference.
Yeah. Were you thrilled, though, that
people were logging back onto Twitter for the first time in
years? Were you like, finally sweet
redemption? We're.
Back I don't know how it's goingto play out.
This is again, unprecedented territory for the nation, and I
don't know whether it's going tobe a good thing or a bad thing,
but it's certainly entertaining,that's for sure.

(35:33):
It's awesome just them having a Twitterspat, the president with
Elon Musk, one of the richest guys in the world.
I'm just ready for the Mountain Dew to just come through our
pipes. I am ready for that.
I just come on time, you know, water the fields with Mountain
Dew. Let's just get it get it going.
I was thinking, Elon, he's like doing not even a 180, a 360,

(35:58):
because everyone loved him when he made electric cars.
They hated him when he ran for Trump, and now they're going to
love him that he now he hates Trump.
And then what if he turns aroundand like Trump, he's going to
break the Internet. Well, he does own the Internet,
and he's going to break it. When he was doing the electric
car thing, some people liked him.
I always kind of thought he was weird.
But oh, totally, it's it's just theater people as a conspiracy

(36:22):
theorist on this podcast, it's just theater.
Oh yeah, it is a look at this while I do all of this.
Exactly. And they have handlers or
handlers have handlers. I mean, this is not about
humanity and it's not about the well-being of the country.
It's just a shit show and everyone, a lot of people are
falling for it. Not everybody.

(36:42):
Well I do liked all the reports of him being of Elon Musk doing
a lot of ketamine while he was in while he was helping the
government. He calls out Trump and says he
was on Epstein island but then Elon got his brother hooked up
with Epstein. They're all fuck.
It's one big club and we ain't in it.
Exactly. It's.
The same. You know, if we just had $300

(37:03):
billion, we'd be in it too. All right.
Speaking of this, Kevin. Kevin.
In the afternoon, he spoke with the president.
And let's bring in #47 to the conversation.
Hello, Sir. Kevin, how are you?
I'm good. How are you?
I have to tell you, I'm very upset.

(37:24):
Well, it was a hell of a day yesterday.
There's this, this phrase I invented, OK, called broken
heart. Have you heard of this broken
heart? Yeah.
Everyone has said it forever. No, I invented it.
OK. I have a broken heart.
So many pieces. Billions and billions of heart
pieces. More heart pieces than anybody's
ever had. I really thought.
I really thought he was the one.I thought he was the one.

(37:44):
It seemed like you were BFFS fora long time.
What went wrong? I thought we were going to last
forever. I really did.
And I miss him. I miss him very much.
Do you? I can.
I can still smell his ketamine on his pillow.
He slept with you. I don't know what I'm going to
do. We broke it up.
It's it's an ugly breakup. I don't know who's going to get

(38:05):
the kids. He's going to get big balls and
the rest of the kids from Dodge.What about the range?
Some sort of visitation? What about that golden key that
you gave him that you said was so special?
Do you get that back key? Key to my heart.
The key to my heart. And now he's taking that key and
he's broken into the heart. He's stolen all the good things

(38:26):
from inside the heart, right? All the golden things, the
things that are made of gold, hestole those and now the heart is
empty. I do have a specific question.
He tweeted his bombshell that you were in the Epstein files.
We all knew that. Is there more information that
that that's in there that we don't know about?
How much more More information than anybody's ever seen.

(38:47):
That's not good on sexual predators, I have to say.
And nobody's surprised. Come on.
Let's face it. And me.
OK. But I can't believe he would.
He would betray me like that. It broke my heart.
He used to wear 2 hats with me. Remember how funny that was?
He had two hats on because he wore a lot of hats.
Yeah. It was hilarious.
What a guy. I miss him.

(39:07):
I love him so much. You're just still in love.
You very much, though. Yeah.
Eli, come back to me. Eli.
I miss you so much. How is it now?
I feel bad now because now I have to deport him.
Oh, you're going to deport him? You're going to shave his fake
hair, send him to El Salvador. That's where he's going.

(39:29):
And I feel bad about it. That's what you're going to do
moving forward. Well, that and make up with
that. Putin.
I feel bad. I broke Putin's heart up very
lot. You think that he's got back to
be black. He's pining over you.
Oh, Putin is so upset. I think he's getting.
I think he's happy about this, quite frankly.

(39:49):
I should have stayed with him, yeah.
Oh man, it's good to hear Ralph on the radio.
Love that. It is.
Hey, I got a question. What I haven't listened to.
I think the first week when Kevin got on the radio so early
April, yeah, 'cause there was a lot of OK here.
This is, well, it was K rock andthey play another song.
Is there an easy way to listen to it through that stuff or you

(40:13):
just go through it? Well, Stockdale.
Stockdale, he's been loading up clips, so he's still is putting
it in the archive. So you just got to go to the
archive and catch up and. So does he edit that stuff out
or is it? Oh yeah, it the his show, his
show is like like 30 minutes a day.

(40:34):
So it's easy to to go through, Yeah, because.
I've had I've put K Rock back onin my store and to listen to the
kids. Remember we were talking months
ago, but I was like, where can Ilisten to this music?
Fucking Kate Rock. So thank God Kevin's back so I
can listen to it. Yeah, Kevin and Kevin Weatherly,

(40:55):
because he's putting back all the music that we like.
It's no more of that. It's.
Lovely, it's lovely. All right, let's go over to the
Ralph Report. The show began really on a dark
note. Welcome to the Ralph Report with
Ralph Garmin. It's me.

(41:20):
What is that dance? The shoulder shimmy, drowning
the baby, drowning baby. You're doing this.
You're pushing down drowning thebaby using the the washboard or
that one of the two. God damn it.
Darkest beginning to a Ralph report ever.

(41:42):
Not quite sure how to carry on after that.
That was such a weird joke from any pets Still just made me
crack up. It's hilarious.
It reminded me of Let's get downon the phone cuz you know, how
do you go from a upbeat song to A to a dog dying?
Yeah. Exactly.
All right. This week it was the week of

(42:05):
Steve, the week of Steven Seagal.
Cigar. Stevie Aikido, That's what we
call him around the gym. Stevie Aikido.
Stevie Aikido is right to give Steven Seagal thanks and praise.
All your ridiculous, pitiful antics aren't going to change a
thing. You and I, we're puppets in the

(42:25):
same sick play under siege. He took himself so serious.
He still. Does.
He is the most pompous, serious,ridiculous, fat, painted on hair
Russian trader in the world and worst actor.

(42:45):
He's got all of those accolades.We'll be paying tribute in
quotes to him all week long because I like to make fun of
him. So yeah, so do we still say all?
Hail ironically, yes, yes, it's with a wink and a smile, right.
Our tongues are poor me and our cheeks.
It's going to be very hard to hear the podcast today.

(43:08):
Well, roof, roof part if you need closed caption, but
actually I'll pick my tongue outof my cheeks.
Please do. You're going.
To bite it off. Yeah, that's what she said.
So yeah, it was all Steven Seagal this week.
It's hilarious. They couldn't stop making fun of
Steven Seagal and all the clips they played were just
outrageous. So and and then they played his

(43:29):
song. Oh my God, the the that's right,
reggae song. Jeez, that I want punani song.
What the hell, I don't know. I'd listen to that and I was
doing the job at the time and I'm like, did I have a stroke?
Was that Steven Seagal playing reggae?
What the hell? I had to go.

(43:50):
I had to rewind it. OK, It was actually a song by
Steven Seagal. Yeah, it I think they discussed
it on the Kevin and Bean show when it came out.
But it is an awful, awful song. Let's go back over to the 3/4
human podcast. There's a correction on Thursday
show that I I must bring up. I need to clear up something.
We had a filthy lie on the last episode and and I feel terrible

(44:13):
about it. I I said on here that someone
had won the one second snippet last time, and it turned out
that someone had actually beat them to it and I had the wrong
person that I said had won. It was actually Stephen
Stoneman. Yeah, Nora actually, I think did
call in. That was well done.

(44:34):
But you have to actually go to chat BCC and she had come up
with You're No Good by Linda Ronstadt.
But I had said that it was Joel Nixon, who was actually two
hours after Stephen Stoneman, who had picked that.
Little tiny. So if we had to pick who the
liar was? Probably.
Probably Brad. I don't.
Know how he. Did it but he like pushed me to
say the wrong thing last weekend.

(44:54):
It was weird. Stone Man.
So congratulations, Steve. He got the one second snippet.
I all of my guesses for that have always been like turd
Ferguson, how great his male ass.

(45:15):
I I try and keep that going and that's no, no response.
Yeah. Marcy was stuck on that one.
It was Heat of the Moment by Asia and like, that's what I
heard and it was clearly wasn't,but it was just.
And then once you get that one in your head can't get it out.
Yeah, it's stuck there. It is just totally stuck there.
It's a fun game. Oh wait, before we go on, a

(45:37):
stone man's going to be on the Three Quarters .75 Humanoid
podcast. He's going to pay 1 American
dollar. Yeah, he, he told us that the
other day. Yeah, I still have just a little
bit more on 3/4 because they hadBrad Williams.
And of course, when you have Brad Williams on, you got to
bring up fetish talk. I'm, I don't, I'm not going to

(46:01):
dive too much into y'all's personal lives, but I'm very
thankful that I'm very vanilla with my needs, wants and desires
to where every time my wife and I are about to have sex, I don't
have to be like, all right, I'm going to go charge the car
battery. Then they brought up sex swings

(46:24):
and Marcy wants to try 1 and I volunteer for this tribute.
But they also brought up Kevin brought up a story about his own
experience with a sex swing. Can I tell you guys that I was
in Tommy Lee's house when he wasmarried to Pamela Anderson?
Share This. Story and I got in the sex swing

(46:45):
and swung in the bedroom just because it I was there what was
was any Well I mean OK did you sneak off and find the bedroom?
No, I didn't sneak off, but it was only me and our former
producer, Lightning and Tommy. Oh, but Tommy was there.

(47:06):
Yeah. So we were like, show us the
swing, dude. So when you got in the swing,
did he have a Pavlov dog reaction of like, well, every
time I get in this thing, I get laid?
So I do remember thinking, the swing is so high, I don't know
how this works. And then you saw how he could
drive a boat. You were like, oh, that's how it

(47:27):
works. It worked just that way.
Just because he's who he is. So he was on the sex wing.
He was on Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee's sex wing.
It blew. I don't remember that show.
Edwin, do you remember that show?
He said he was with Lightning and they were visiting Tommy
Lee. Yeah, I don't remember that
though. That's weird, I had it's
probably in the 90s. Yeah.

(47:48):
Yeah, Tommy Lee, what do you think about this podcast round?
It's like life is like a snare drum.
Whack it. Thank you, Tommy Lee.
Wait, you went that whole time and you didn't talk about Kev
Dog cursing on the air? I couldn't.
I couldn't get that clip. I couldn't even find that one.

(48:10):
I couldn't pull in. Did you go back and get the
father-in-law out of the trash? Yes.
I can't do shit. Shit.
I meant to take it out of automatic, but it started as
soon as it started. I was like, OK, there's no way
we're going to make it. If you heard someone talking
over the beginning of that song,it wasn't us, it was your radio.

(48:31):
So you need to get that checked out.
Yeah. Nice.
Awesome. All right, now reviewing what
happened 11 years ago this week,Edwin, with the week that was.
Press the button, my friend. Send me back into time.

(48:51):
Edwin, our listener, Edwin, he'sa funny man.
Edwin's funny pretty much every time.
Funny, funny man. It's a new Day, our feature
presentation 2014. I just wanted to pay a brief

(49:16):
mention and some respect to her after.
Bean is a Dick and plays his comedy sound effects.
How dare you? Welcome boys and girls, I'm
doing the week that was June 226-2014.
Let's see who Bean was a Dick about.
Classic character from golden age of TV.
And B Davis, best known for her role as Alice the Maid on The

(49:41):
Brady Bunch, passed away on Sunday.
The age of 88 years old. Touching sound effect tribute.
That's right, age of 88. She was in good health.
Sharp as a tack, walked downstairs to say goodnight to
her roommates at her house therein Texas, then fell in the
bathroom, hit her head, never gained consciousness and could

(50:02):
not survive the injuries. So it's just a sudden tragic end
for Ann B Davis. That great e-mail here from
listener Nathan. By the way, Speaking of tributes
to Ann B Davis, Hello, Ralph is an old sitcom fan.
I was sad to hear about the passing of Alice from the Brady
Bunch. I just wanted to pay a brief
mention and some respect to her after.
Bean is a Dick and plays his comedy sound effects.
How dare you to a great actress.I have not.

(50:26):
I have not been this sad due to a celebrity passing since the
late Steve Irwin died. Although all through all the
sadness I can't help but think of them perhaps meeting in
heaven. I could just wish I I just wish
I could witness the moment when the Croc meets Amby Davis, Amby
Davis, Amby Davis, Amby Davis, Amby Davis, Amby Davis, Amby

(50:47):
Davis, Amby Davis, Amby Davis. Oh, oh, oh, Andy Davis, who
ruined the crock. Me.
Andy Davis, that is. Touching.
That's a much better tribute. Thank you.
And Nathan Hanker, who wrote that in, I appreciate you
probably sound that funny. Sweet to be able to revisit that
Magic. Has been a while, has been a
while. I have to give credit to that

(51:08):
listener. He knew Bean would play the
Pac-Man sound effect and he was right.
He sent that before Ralph did the joke, so good job.
Nice. I was just curious, Lindsay, are
you out there? I'm here, did I miss something?
No, I was just curious, did you ever watch the Brady Bunch?
I'm sure you've heard of it, butdid you ever watch the old

(51:30):
episodes? No, yeah.
That's what I was figuring. It's funny.
It's really important to people my age and maybe even the
generation after me, but I thinkit's kind of forgotten today.
Yeah. They don't have reruns anymore.
I mean, my kids watch like I Love Lucy, but there is no

(51:50):
Gilligan's Island or, you know, Brady Bunch or MASH.
Well, exactly. And I think when we were kids,
you would, I remember waking up in the summer and it would be
Flipper would be on The Jeffersons.
You just have tons of shows in the morning to watch.
You only had 12 channels, too, and we'd watch those eat our

(52:13):
Captain Crunch and they'll swim in the pool all day.
But I went, and when lockdown happened, I went and bought the
entire series of MASH on a DVD, which is, I know we don't do
that anymore. We stream, but when the power's
out, Internet's out. Or the Internet's out, not
Power. I can put an old MASH and watch
it. Let's get back on the spoke,

(52:34):
people. So Amby Davis died, a lot of
emotions through the week. Alice, Alice.
Alice the housekeeper, maid, friend, confidant, faux aunt,
friend, lover. All right, take it easy to many
of the Bradys she was a lover tomany of the she she made all

(52:58):
those three boys and men. I'll tell you she she brought
him into manhood. I thought she was just hoarding
her out with the Sam the butcher.
I thought that was her that was her love life.
It was it was an open door policy down there and that had a
room off the kitchen She had just I wonder what's that show
more 24 hours a day. Just come on in.
Just cut yourself off a slice ofAlice little pork chops and

(53:20):
applesauce anytime you wanted it.
Bobby, Peter and Greg would go down there and just just
Schwarzenegger the hell out of that made.
I was thinking if they made the Brady Bunch today, like on The
CW, Sofia Vergara would be Aliceand it would be a dark, you
know, sex filled romp. I would kind of actually like to

(53:40):
see that. Remember when they did Archie,
they did a Riverdale, made it all a car goth.
I would love a goth Brady Bunch.So Ralph's version a little bit
different than what we actually saw, but now he gets a little
existential. It doesn't really pisses me off
about life and the and the randomness and fragility of it
all. 88 years old, worked her whole life, beloved by millions,

(54:04):
was in good health, sharp as a tack, still had her faculty's
wherewithal, was getting around fine, no health problems,
nothing. Boom, slips in the bathroom,
hits her head, it's all over. Hey, right.
She's dead. Sterling's walking around going
to church. Yeah, she slips and hits her
head and then lights out. Yeah, that's weird.

(54:27):
It's BS. This whole this whole life thing
is BS. Just doesn't work right.
That's right. That's for you.
God. I like that because those were
three of my clips that he playedright in the row.
She's dead, Jim Dead, Dead, dead.

(54:47):
And the Boo. So that's what.
I got a kick out. Sorry, Alice, but that's what I
was thinking. Let's go to some happier news.
Someone didn't die. He was just in a nursing home.
This was a the end of the Casey Kasem saga.
They finally found him. They sent, they had to send the
police to get him out of the nursing home.

(55:09):
So on Sunday and this ugly sceneunfolds at the home where the
the ambulance shows up and Carrie Kasem, Casey Kasem's
daughter, is there and she has acourt order to take possession
of her father to get him evaluated at a hospital.
The wife, Gene Kasem, won't let them in the house and won't let
them take Casey Kasem. So they have to call 911 and

(55:30):
another ambulance shows up and afire truck shows up, and finally
they get access into the home and the paramedics are able to
get Casey Kasem onto a stretcher.
And that's when Casey Gene Kasem, Casey's wife, loses her
mind, walks downstairs, chases after them and throws a pound of
raw hamburger meat at Kerry Kasem, his daughter.

(55:52):
Why? Good question, Why?
Gene Kasem said in a statement. In the name of King David, I
threw a piece of raw meat into the street in exchange for my
husband to the wild rabbit dogs.OK, what?
What? While you're strapping people
down to a stretcher and get intoa hospital for evaluation, why
don't you grab Gene? Throw a net over her too, by the

(56:13):
way. No.
What kind of? What kind of biblical nonsense
is that? I have no idea.
Is it like, I don't know anything about that, that part
of the Bible, but does it have somebody with a pound of flesh
or something like that? I don't know.
But I know if someone's throwingraw hamburger meat when you're
trying to save her husband's life and she's quoting King

(56:33):
David, then she needs to go bye bye.
Absolutely. Maybe this is the problem.
Maybe Jane Kasem's ought to offer nut and she's supposed to
be caretaking this 82 year old sick man.
Wow. Don't make me come down there
people, because I will straighten this situation out
and you will not like it. So get your ducks in a row or
sell your sausage somewhere elsebecause I will come down with

(56:58):
you on you like a monkey. Pick a monkey.
Was that my signal? What was that?
I'm supposed to play this? What's going on?
You're going to have some fun. What's going?

(57:26):
On close enough for niche podcasting.
Yeah, I was just thinking Ralph used all his catch rages there.
Sell your sausage somewhere elselike a monkey.
I thought if we put Holy Moly atthe end, we got them all.
OK, OK. When we edit this, it's going to
sound fantastic. Next up, we have a call in
topic. I forget how they got into this,

(57:46):
but they asked did you do something with your pet's
remains? And this was a spectacular
collar. Let's start with Don, who has
more than just ashes from a pet.Oh, not stuff, Don.
Yes, Don, What are you doing? What have you done?
What have you done? Nothing.

(58:07):
It's like a Native American thing.
What do you have? You have your cat's ashes and
what else? I have his his skull.
You you have your cat's skull Iswhat it sounded like you said on
the phone. What did you really say?
I said skull. OK.
I actually had his whole head inthe freezer for about 3 years.

(58:30):
Oh, my God. Thanks for bringing Lisa and
being to my side. Who knew one person could do
that? All right, hey, Jeffrey Donner,
what's going on? What is going on with you?
Wait, so your cat died? I should, I guess I should start
by asking, did your cat die of natural causes at least?
Yeah, I had pancreatic carcinoma.
All right, so you did not kill your cat because that sounds

(58:51):
like you're the kind of person. Okay.
And then what did you do? Chop off his head and put it in
the freezer. Well, they did.
They asked me what I wanted fromhim and I said what?
And they said, well, people get parts of their animals.
And they said, oh, get parts. I have his head.
That's not a thing. And you said, could I have his
head? That was how the thought process
went. Yes.

(59:12):
Well, they brink at me at first and I said, well, you know, how
do they give you his head? I mean, without getting too
graphic here, I mean, they chop his head off.
I mean, how does it not like leak and whatnot?
I don't know. They, they froze him and then
chopped off the head and then wrapped it up and kept it in ice
and, and all that. It's really neat.

(59:32):
You're awesome. You said this is a Native
American thing. Yes, they they used to actually
extract the. Bones and display them for
spiritual reasons. But are you Native American?
That was a little. Bit in me.
So now I watched the Redskins. So dawn.
So dawn, sweetheart. Charlotte, So your cat's head's

(59:54):
in the freezer. And then how did it end up
becoming a skull? Was there a power outage or
something? And one day, you just had no
choice. But you had to unfaw him.
No, I had to wait until I could emotionally handle actually
extracting the the skull from the You did that.
You did it yourself. I did.
Yeah, so you, in other words, you cut off the skin and

(01:00:16):
everything that was left of yourcat's head and just kept the
skull. No, there's a process that you
do. So it's really simple.
You know, you boil it. This is unbelievable.
Yeah, it's adorable. It does.
And I stop, but it sounds horrible.
But yeah, of course it sounds horrible.
You have your deer. I have your dead cat's skull in

(01:00:37):
your house. At some point, someone called
you on the phone. You said I can't talk now.
Boiling my cat's head on the stove.
Yeah. I had to wait for my daughter
and my husband to leave the house.
You had a husband? Had a daughter.
You're a mom. Mom.
I like other bones too, but this.
Yeah, this is that's my my prize.

(01:00:58):
Your husband is afraid to die now you know that.
He shouldn't. He's afraid to come home every
night, too. Oh, my God.
We have plans, but they're not legal, so I can't do anything
about it. OK.
And on that note, ladies and gentlemen, there's Kevin and me.
Lister Dawn. Adding so much to our day.
Oh, you're the only one. You're the only one.

(01:01:19):
A lot of other calls where they sprinkled their ashes.
They saved. Their ashes they haven't earned.
They put it up on the shelf, butno one keeps the skull.
Zero people. I'm sorry.
One. OK.
You're crazy, Don. We love you.
Thanks for calling. Don, we love you too.
Come on the show, give us a call.

(01:01:42):
The K Rock audience never disappoints.
Don sounds like my type actually.
My favorite thing is she tried to justify it by saying it's a
Native American thing. Are you Native American?
Nope. Yeah, a little.
Yeah, which tribe, you know, butit was funny because even Kevin
said because I had a dog and I guess whatever they said it to

(01:02:06):
be cremated and then he but theynever got the ashes.
And he's like, but I was ripped up by that dog, you know, I
heard him for a long time. So.
But I do believe it's very normal to have your dog's ashes.
My mom went and sprinkled a bunch of the dogs, I think over
the property or something like that.
And like, someday I'm going to get my shit together and drive

(01:02:29):
down to the lake and sprinkle them with the lake.
But I just haven't done it. And it's like decades of dogs,
but now you know, you're going to go to the the beach for the
day. I'm not going to say, Oh my, go
do all this shit. No, but now they used to when
they cremated the dogs, it was like way less.
Now they do it by weight and grant it's £110.

(01:02:52):
It's going to be way too much money.
So he's just going to get buriedon the property?
Right. Yeah, I have experienced burying
pets, yeah, but they kind of come back to life the next.
Day, dead or alive? Either way.
For real. At least Don waited until they
were dead. Yeah, I remember.
My cat. The cat story.
The cat. The zombie.
Cat. Cat came back the.

(01:03:14):
Very next day. Cat came back.
Christopher thought it was a goner, but the cat came back.
Edwin I I have a message from Don's cat.
I'm. Done.
Listen, Listen up. That was my skull.
I'm so wasted. That's been cool.

(01:03:38):
That's cat was a pothead too. That's amazing.
I just pictured Don's kids though.
You know, purple drink, Cat's skull, Sunny D pulling it out of
the fridge. Exactly, Mom, What's next to the
cat's head? Can I eat that?
OK, so if you thought Don was crazy, how about this guy?

(01:03:58):
He hides food from his wife. Said something last either
Thursday or Friday and it just sort of struck me as weird and
then I thought about it all weekend.
It just made me laugh a little bit more every time I thought
about it. And that and that is that he he
hides food being today, not whenhe was a kid today hide AIDS

(01:04:23):
food. Now, what does that even mean,
Kevin? And by the way, you say not as a
kid, as if all kids hide food. I don't remember hiding food
when I was a kid. I used to all the time.
From whom did you have vagabondsgoing through your home trying
to eat your food? I just didn't want my brother's
eating it, that's all. OK.
But being he lives with his wife, right?

(01:04:44):
And he's a grown ass man, no oneelse.
And he's hiding food. Pete, why don't you describe to
Ralph this isn't a big deal? I don't know why you're trying
to turn this into a thing. It's not a what?
Lisa, you're you think it's a big deal.
I think it's not a big deal, butit's a funny deal.
Look at that. Every once in a while there's a
food that you want to have available to you.

(01:05:05):
It may not be something you eat all the time, but when you have
a craving for it, you would liketo have it in your pantry.
So first of all, are you pregnant?
No, OK. I'm just saying like every once
in a while I have AII die for chocolate milk.
Every once in a while just hits you like, oh man, a big cool,

(01:05:25):
refreshing glass of chocolate milk would sure be awesome, you
know what I mean? But you put it, you know, 1/2
gallon of chocolate milk in yourfridge and that's usually gone.
You know, that's usually people take take advantage of that.
How many people? I mean, all the kids and all the
construction workers and stuff that are roaming through your
kitchen. Who are the people?
Well, I mean, there's the, the, the in totality, like the, the

(01:05:48):
yes, the large number, total number, right.
People, everybody included of all the people who live in all
the various rooms and All in allthe whole house, right.
All of them. It's sister wife, right?
It's just on it. Yeah, it's pretty much just on
it. And she'll drink your chocolate
milk and she's just guzzling chocolate milk.
She's just right from the jug. She's just tipping it back and
just knocking back that half gallon.
Hard time imagining me too, especially if being it seems

(01:06:12):
like the easy way to go would be, hey, I could get more for
you or whatever, but I would just like you not to drink this
because I like it. That would mean conversation, I
feel. See, it's interesting you should
say that because of course I thought of that.
But I think that's a Dick move to say, hey, don't drink my
chocolate milk, but hiding food.I think the, I think the, the
smarter move is to put the chocolate milk in a little, you

(01:06:36):
know, tiny refrigerator that I have tucked away in my office in
the basement that she doesn't know is there.
And my that way, that way I don't have to have the
conversation about don't drink. You know, that, that here's the
problem. If I say, Hey, please don't
drink the chocolate milk becauseI'm going to want some of that
in, in a couple of days. Then it turns into, Oh, so it's
your food. Why is it, why is it not our
food? You know, then it turns out I
don't want to get into all of that.

(01:06:57):
Oh, right. But here's let me just run by
the way, that reaction also insane.
So you have two insane people who are living in the house
together. Many people would say, Oh, cool,
it's just chocolate milk. That's all right.
It's not a big deal. Or it's all yours, sailor.
You can buy a couple of put two in there.
I do if you're going through it at that rate, put AB on one and
AD on the other. Make it a fun game.

(01:07:18):
So then I have above the refrigerator in the kitchen.
My wife is is not tall and I mean she's not chip or anything,
but she's not. I mean she's a normal sized
person, but she could. There's no way she can reach the
shelves above the refrigerator in the kitchen.
There's actually more, you know,more cabinets above the kitchen
refrigerator there, which is where bean hide.

(01:07:39):
That's the Super secret stash. That's where the cashews go,
that's where the salsa goes. That's putting food out of reach
of your wife. That's the party closet.
She's not a ravenous beast, right?
She's not a child either. No, she's not open.

(01:07:59):
Put the porn in the high shelf so the kids can't find it.
It's going to hit me. Then I would be like, oh, I got
that can of cashews and then I'mgoing to go and I'm going to
find they're just going to be gone.
It's going to be ultimate sadness.
That would be ultimate sadness. It's like getting cancer really.
When you find out there's no cashews left.
You know what the rest of us do beat is that we just choose
something else, right? We just eat, eat what we have.

(01:08:20):
Or you buy enough for everybody.OK, but let me add more again.
I don't want cashews. Like I'll probably go get some
more. I don't want to spend more time
on this. I get all day.
I get all day for this peanuts food bean, bean, bean bean bean
bean. What the good question?
Where now? Where come from?

(01:08:41):
We got our new segment Bean heights, food Bean bean bean as
I always said. I kind of do want to get a
little ice box and put it in thecloset, put some special treats
for myself in there. I don't know why that appeals to
me. That is weird.
I. Yeah, yeah, it depends.

(01:09:03):
Cause a sports guy. Would eat everything and
wouldn't go to the store, you know what I mean?
So I so if it was in the cupboard in the kitchen or the
the refrigerator in the kitchen,fine.
I've got another refrigerator inthe utility where the pantry is.
And I would totally hide shit 'cause he couldn't see anything
right in front of his face. And so if you wanted to have any

(01:09:25):
food, yeah, you'd just hide it. I get it.
Jen, Jen, Jen hides food. She puts it in a bag of dog
food. Right.
No, you didn't even have to do that.
Like. He would open up the fridge,
there'd be whatever milk or whatever he wants, it's right
there on the main shelf and go. We don't have any milk like it's

(01:09:47):
right there. So it was easy.
To hide from him because he doesn't have eyesight.
Evidently she just writes on it,not food.
Bud, Yeah, so I'm sorry. I marked you, Ben.
I guess it's not that unusual. I get it, but I I think in.
Bean's case, he's so particular in Asperger's, whereas Donna, I

(01:10:09):
don't think Donna's eating them out of house and home where a
sports guy was. Yeah, I think it's a different
situation with Donna. Especially Donna is amazing, she
like makes them all kinds of food and all these special
dishes. It's just why would he even, why
can't he just say, hey, I, I these are my cashews.
Can you save some for me or justshare, just share with a regular

(01:10:31):
person? Yeah.
Well, I think you're on to something, Jen.
It's that. Asperger's thing, because if he
wants some cashews and they're not there, that is a disaster to
him. Yeah, I could just imagine him.
Crying on the floor like. My cashews?
Cashews. Where are the cashews?
Lisa practiced her whistling. Let's see if she did any better

(01:10:52):
this week. Whistle it, Lisa, Whistle it.
Let's hear it. No, seriously, Whistle.
That's all you've got. OK, She's not there yet, but
she's working. On it, before we land this boat,

(01:11:13):
we were talking about Taylor Swift's cat Meredith, and it
turns out that there was some fanfiction and by being about
the very same cat, Bean said. Hey.
Did you guys, hey, hey, hey, didyou guys see my new Twitter
avatar? And we said no, Bean, what's
your new Twitter avatar? And he goes, Meredith, and we

(01:11:36):
go. Is that name supposed to?
Mean something to us. Oh, oh, well, that, Meredith is
Taylor Swift's cat. Everybody, everybody knows that
Kevin Taylor Swift's cat is really popular, he said.
What the hell all Taylor Swift fans know about Meredith?

(01:12:01):
She's a huge Instagram star. Come on.
Well, I have beans fan fiction if you want to hear.
I do beans fan fiction. I do too.
I'll tell you. I'll Swindler and her cat
Meredith. All right, let's give it a
listen. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I I'm just an average 18 year old pig farmer in Washington
state. Nothing unusual ever happens to

(01:12:21):
me at least I thought into the day a stray cat walked into my
yard. I, I, I, I I thought that cat
looked familiar until I read itstag and it said Meredith.
I could tell right away there was an attraction between me and
the cat, so I opened a can of tuna fish and rubbed the

(01:12:42):
contents all over my. Meredith and I were enjoying
sweet sexy time in the barn whensuddenly I heard the door creak
open. Looking up I saw a pale young
girl with with with with long flowing blonde hair and bright
red lipstick. I knew at that moment it had to
be my sweet tea swizzle. What what, what, what what the

(01:13:06):
are you doing you pervert? She asked to which I responded.
Don't knock it till you've triedit sister.
What I I I invited her to join our sexy time.
She thought for a moment and said you're pretty fly.
It wasn't long until we decided to get jiggy with it.

(01:13:27):
T swizzle said I was the bomb and that she would write a song
about me. I could tell the three of us
were sharing true love. It wasn't till Taylor found out
I was hiding food from her. Sadly, she turned me into with
the authorities and now my only contact with her is the
occasional strongly worded letter I received from her here

(01:13:48):
in the Washington State Correctional Facility, where I'm
doing 10 years for bestiality. I guess we're never, ever, ever
getting back together. File.
No, I won't take that back. Oh my God, I didn't write that,
but I was sure by it. You and me both being When's

(01:14:10):
that coming out? Creed dealer, Creed dealer Creed
dealer Creed dealer. Cats really had a rough week at
Kevin and Bean that week. Yeah, school's getting lopped
off. They're bean with bean.
Yes. Oh, I forgot to tell you guys.
I. Got us a sponsor.
Boner water, which is my new prize, I hope.

(01:14:30):
You pick it up, it's Albertson'sand Ralph's near you.
Yes, boner water available at all Finer.
Establishments. Nice.
So OK. I thought that was a pretty good
week. That was being what do you think
it ought to be outlawed seriously?
It ought to be against an. FCC regulation, but we still
keep putting it on. We do keep putting on.

(01:14:50):
Being is always critical, Lisa. You got my back.
I don't know. It's all bad.
It's all bad, Dang. It OK, well that's it then.
Good, bad or. Indifferent.
Back to you, Steve. Nice Lindsay you got?
Some moments, no. It's time to say goodbye,

(01:15:10):
Jennifer. Thanks for listening.
To quitters ever give up what's our address?
Quitters ever give up a Gmail and you can reach us on the
socials. We're on Blue Sky and evidently
I'm following quitters, Didn't even know it till now.
Anyway, have a great week, a couple weeks folks, 'cause we're
going to be off for Father's Day.
But anyway, we'll talk to you soon.

(01:15:35):
Bye everybody. Little Benny had a cat that they
wouldn't let him keep, so we puther up for sale and a price he
thought was cheap. He took her to a neighbor to ask
him for advice. He said lethal Kitty here,
she'll help me with a mice. But cat came back.

(01:16:00):
She wouldn't stay away. She was sitting on the porch.
The very next day the cat came back.
She didn't want to roll. The very next day, it was home.