Episode 206 - Are you gonna smell my hair again?

The Rapture, a Josh Instant Request, toilet travel, a weak hole, Blanda Eggenschwiler, T-Swizzle, and Bean dissing Melissa!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Here we go. I am putting my best and best
power mind positive in order to say I Will Survive this.

(00:20):
That's not annoying. I've got a secret mini fridge in
the basement that she doesn't know about for things like
chocolate milk. You thought squirrels were cute.
You thought they were harmless. Good job.
You thought wrong. Quitters.

(00:44):
Never. Give up, this show is not
important. Go ahead.
Repping for all of quitters never give up check off
Christopher we check off. Jen Pastorini, check off
Lindsay, Hello. Drew.
The great Ed Wynn, ladies and gentlemen.
I love him so much. Because I said quitters never
give up. And he said that's.
All they do. Come on, that's not that's not

(01:06):
the week. Whose butt am I coming out?
It's different every week. I love party people.
It is. Quitters never give up.
It is. Wait, hold on, this guy's
laughing at me. Raiders.

(01:30):
I know, I know, the Raiders didn't do so well, but not even
with the Sam and I train. But anyhow, it's episode 2 O 6
from Quitters Never Give Up. Let's say hello to the first
quitter. Say hello to Jen.
Ralph, we went from having fun games with Jack plans to making
me cry with Jennifer and I want a concerted effort.

(01:55):
Somebody pull their heads out oftheir ass.
I'm sorry we go from a nice. Fun.
Segment to Jack point, they're crying about Jennifer, right?
Is anybody paying attention overhere?
Sorry, is Donna on the phone? Yeah, Ray.
Hi, Jen. Hello party people.
Ponderous, I say. Ponderous.
Ponderous, right, I say. Hello, Edwin.

(02:15):
Well, Edwin, it appears that mayhave not necessarily.
That wasn't the case. It is the case.
Edwin's here. Hi, Edwin.
Good day mates, good to see you.Nice.
Let's say hello to Lindsay. And Lindsay, as you can imagine,
was really, really excellent. Oh, wait a minute.
No, she forgot many of her lines, was yelling to someone

(02:39):
off stage for her next line in the middle of the play Watch My
Line, and apparently had writtensome of the dialogue on a prop
book which she held on to for the entire show and kept looking
down and referring to. I can't imagine thinking more
distracting than watching an actor and trying to read
dialogue off a prop in the middle of a play.
Why is she reading? Sounds like a nightmare.

(03:00):
Hi, Lindsay. Hello.
You got all your lines memorized.
Everyone bye. Thanks.
Say hello to Drew. If I gave you a hall pass to,
you know, do whatever. OK.
Who would you choose? Anybody in the world?
OK, you're not going to get mad,right?

(03:22):
No, I'm not going to get mad. OK, I would choose Drew's.
Drew. Yeah.
Who's that? Who's Drew?
How you doing, Drew? It's me.
I'm doing great now. How you doing?
Good. Good, good good, and I'm
Christopher. Christopher's big dumb ass
decides to show up to the park anyway, and even though it was

(03:43):
sort of messed up, Chris using random park goers as human
Shields was an incredibly smart way to not get lit up by Judo
master with the judo blaster. How you doing?
It's Peacemaker. The main character's name is
Chris and great show, just tons of Chris drops all over the
place. Anyhow, let's get started with

(04:06):
the fun facts, right? Lindsay's going to bring us some
fun facts take over. Lindsay OK, so we have actually
a moment, a request and two fun facts.
All right, let's start with the moment.
And now it's time for a moment with intern Lindsay.

(04:28):
All right. All right, Christopher, pull
yourself. Pull yourself together for the.
Weekend. Pull yourself together for the
podcast roundup. All right, here we go.
That was a moment with intern Lindsay.
That was a great moment. All right, on to the request.

(04:51):
Hi Quitters, it's Josh. I was wondering if you guys can
help me find something from the show from years and years ago.
I remember around the time that Brow Down came out, Bill Handel
of KFI got a hold of it. I still listen to Bill Handel's
legal show on the weekends and Ithink it's funny.
And something he said recently kind of triggered that memory,

(05:13):
that after Brow Down came out, Handel got a hold of it and he
didn't credit the K Rock team, Psycho Mike and the team.
I remember there was some back and forth between them, but I
can't find any of those episodesor clips.
I was wondering if you can help me out with that.
All right, thanks. Bye.
I remember a whole bunch of stations stole a bunch of music

(05:34):
and stuff from Kevin and Bean. Woody in the morning apparently
was a big stealer thief, and I don't know if Bill Handel show
Edwin Bill Handel, Jen Bill Handel.
Yeah, I don't know. Legal stuff.
I would know. Let's see.
Brown down is in 2007. Bill Handel plays Brow Down 2008

(05:57):
January 28th, 2008 Yeah. Oh, and then there is the Brow
down Bill Handel being controversy.
February 1st, 2008. Jennifer Googles.
I didn't. I went to an archive, I didn't
need to Google it. Now what's the problem?
What's the controversy? What's going on with Brow Down?
Well, Brow Down is a song that was done by Ashton Kutcher.

(06:21):
Very funny song and it's kind oftaken on a life of its own.
It was on YouTube, remember What?
Wasn't that the one that was on the front page of, yes, Myspace
or something like that? Yeah, it.
Didn't really take out a life ofits own as much as Psycho Mike
and Lightning gave it life. No, that's true.
I mean, Lightning went out and shot this incredible video,
edited it all together, made it very funny, which was already a
very funny song that Psycho Mikehad done.
These guys put a lot of time andeffort in this thing and then

(06:43):
when it was all done they put itup on the K Rock website but
also posted it on YouTube. Here's the song that we're
talking about. OK bro, how about I invited my
shirt a little bit, smoke cigarette, tell you where I'm
coming from. Glendale.
Glendale's my town. I love system of a down because

(07:04):
I'm on medium bro. Covered in hair and jewelry from
head to toe. Track car, Cologne ingrained in
my chromosome. Come to my shop, I give you
pager and a cell phone. Jewelry on my arm from the
knuckle up. Hop in my BMW and then I buckle
up, cruising through Glendale, smoking cigarettes, looking for
my homeboys bitch, or even better yet, a nice Armenian

(07:24):
girl. I can and flirt with covered in
fur even when the bitch is shirtless.
Check my breath, it smells something awful.
I should have brushed my teeth after I had that falafel hummus
kabab shawarma tabouli. I have to shave my unibrow, it's
getting unruly and shave my backhair to keep it in check.
My penis is so hairy that it hasa pubic turtleneck, so brow down

(07:45):
our medium pride. I slick back my hair as I cruise
to the West side. Lando Galleria Armani Exchange
gonna get a silk shirt with in my price range.
Marlboro 6. And Cologne going to go back to
my shop and then I'll slang morecell phones.
That's right bro. You know what it's like.
Life of Armenian player. Hit that chorus one more time.

(08:20):
So that was the very popular Brown Down song on our show from
a few months ago. And now it's back in the
headlines because I guess it's it's spread beyond our show.
Yeah, How did it get to AM stations in town?
I think Bean started handing it out.
Did he started saying it out on a disc, saying please play this
because I love you so much because you're in radio and I
love other radio stations more than my own, so please.

(08:42):
Use it was. Unrelated to me at all, somehow
had nothing to do with us. Somehow Bill Handel, who does
The One Show over there at KFI, came across this song and I
don't know where or how, but he thought it was very, very funny.
He decided to play it on his. Show he claims he found it on
YouTube OK and so thieving Lyot and Bill Handel says here's a
song I just found on YouTube. I don't know where it came from,

(09:04):
but here please enjoy it and plays it and it's got K rock all
over. It's got K rock logo at the end
of the video. K rock in the beginning if the
psycho mic and lightning in the YouTube little description box
or all over it. There's no way you can look at
that video and not know where itcame from Well, especially.
If you're in this town and you're working in radio.
That's true. That's what I'm saying.
Yeah. So Bill tries to throw, you

(09:24):
know, a slider. He tries to go under the radar
and starts playing and there's. Oh, isn't this a funny song?
I love this song. And our listeners, God bless
them, caught wind and start calling, saying dude's playing
brow down over there and he's not even giving you any props.
So I'm ready to unleash the hammers of hell.
I got the hounds, You know, I'm starving the hounds of hell,
getting ready to go with the hammers, really.
They have hammers too. The hounds use hammers.

(09:45):
Right to boob AM whatever station he's on over there and
he's going to tear them up. Yeah.
But Bean calls over there and says, oh, that's OK, we're all
pals. We're all, we're all radio
buddies. Are we all radio buddies?
Can we have lunch sometimes so we can talk about it?
Radio. That is the weird thing about.
Get a T-shirt 'cause I get. One of those KMI T-shirts and a

(10:05):
hat and a cop. Can I get a mug?
We haven't really brought this up much, but one of the strange
things about being is that he loves radio people.
Anybody that works in radio Beanwants to have lunch with, wants
to hang out with. He won't do that for any of us
because he works with us. But.
There are there are very few people in the world that I have
anything in common with, right people who are in broadcasting

(10:28):
is somebody that I do. And I mean we have stories to
share and and a mutual acquaintance you have.
A job in common with us and you won't talk to us.
You didn't worry we have K rock in common and you won't interact
with us. On the same show he clearly
doesn't like, but he loves radiopeople, so he probably called
Bill and said, hey, you want to go in the air, I'll go in the
air. Yeah, hey, I heard you guys say
oh, it's OK, no hard feelings because Bill come down the next

(10:51):
day and apologize. The Aaron says being from over K
rock. You know, we talked and he said
it was fine, no hard feelings. It was OK.
I was like, what do you mean no hard feelings?
I got hungry hounds over here holding hammers in hell and
you're going over smoothing things over.
How will the war start? How do the dogs hold the
hammers? In their mouths.
OK, all right. And they're, how are they
chewing? They're chewing on the hammer.

(11:12):
That's what the I got. All right, look, you're you're
kind of, you're maybe intentionally, but you're
misrepresenting what happened. What happened is the K Rock
listers informed KFI that the song came from Psycho Mike of
the Kevin De Bean show. So they felt terrible about.
Oh I'm sure they did because there's no way they could have
known it came from us. I just seen K rock all over the
video on YouTube. So their producer writes over
and says we found out we played this song without credit.

(11:34):
We really apologize, we want to go on and make it right.
And you didn't mean anything by it.
Lie. And I just wrote back and said,
hey, don't even worry about it. Not a big deal that worth the
war over. No, play our material.
Play, play. See, here's the thing.
Bean doesn't do anything. He just gets his microphone on
the magic island. He goes, oh, look, it's for
January. Meanwhile, Psycho Mike and me
and Lightning were like in the coal mine, slaving away, stuck

(11:56):
in the fires, keeping the engines going.
So Bean's like, oh, what? You stole a song that took them,
you know, two months to put a video together for here for your
free. Take some more.
Take some more stuff. What else you got here?
Take my plasma screens. Like he lets burglars into the
house and then helps them load up the truck.
By the way, I told them you'd doDick Cheney on Bill Handel's
show at 8:15 this morning. If you don't mind, you can just

(12:17):
call over there and the whole. Point is that you love radio.
You, you don't just, oh, I'm a big fan of radio.
You love radio the way Tom Cruise loves.
Scientology. That's.
Scientology working, you know what I'm saying?
That is true. It's a it's a fixation.
It's an obsession. And now it's starting to take a
toll on us because frankly, you know, we're screw.
You're screwing us over for yourradio pals over on the AM.

(12:38):
Band and guys, it doesn't get any worse than where those MTV
Video Music round tables where we've got like all the radio
stations there. One year we had my couple Chrome
Romance at the height of their popularity sitting in front of
us. I can't fight anywhere.
Yeah, he's going to find a screwdriver on Wichita's Morning
Zoo. And you've got these.
Can I have one of your T-shirts?I got to go over there and
literally. Remove him from their booth.
He was talking about Christy andCrankshaft over on the Kaylin.

(13:01):
Yeah, and I'm making small talk with the guys, trying to not let
him know that Bean's missing lightnings going from booth to
booth trying to find him. How many watts do you have on
your station? I'd like to.
Oh, I wish I could listen to your guys.
Do you have any air checks I canlisten to?
Bring it with those bumper stickers.
Guys, why can't you just be happy that I found something
that I enjoy and people that I'minterested in?

(13:21):
Because there are very few of either in those categories.
Because you are not standing clear of our toboggan, Sir.
That's why. Because you're interested with
them. You are in our way, You are
affecting our jobs, our livelihood, our our profession
that we're quite proud of this little station and this little
show that we do. How does it hurt our show if?
If you give away our. Material four months after we

(13:42):
stopped not playing browed out if it gets a couple of spins on
the AM dial how does that hurt us really it's ours right and
I've. Spent a lot of work putting it
together. Kevin Slave.
Kevin spent a lot of work. And I didn't get that, you know,
so that hurts. I'm saying don't choose other
people. Don't choose other people over

(14:02):
the family, is what we're saying, because that's how you
get whacked. Yeah, that's a good point.
OK, we're not The Sopranos. We're not the mob, but if we
were, he'd be in trouble. We're in the radio mob and we're
a family. You know we're the.
Radio mob that handles the Tataglia family over there and
there's going to be blood in thestreets.
Did you say you have Bill Handeltalking about?
I do. I don't know if I have time if
you wanted to hear some of him talking about the brow down
because I think you'll see it's a little bit different than the

(14:24):
way Ralph is maybe explaining it.
Liar. All right, I have to give credit
where credit is due. Yesterday we ran that, the video
of a brow down, that one, OK. And we got a bunch of emails
saying it didn't give credit to Kevin and Bean of KROQ, whose
producer actually did that. And I have to #1 apologize.

(14:48):
I didn't know. That until after the show,
right? Yeah.
You're still not buying that, huh You?
Can't watch the video without knowing it.
You cannot. It's not impossible.
Well, so either unless. Bill also is just a a puppet
figurehead on his show like you guys are and you don't do any of
the work behind the scenes. Oh that someone just handed to
him and said play this, that's funny.
Highly likely. By the way, well, here's his
explanation for that. Yeah, you thought they just

(15:09):
posted? I thought they just posted it.
You know, I go fine. I'm not going to give them
credit for posting. It turns out that the producer
created it. That's their creation.
So kudos to them number one for creating it.
It's absolutely brilliant. I mean just genius and.
And Bean of Kevin and Bean said that their guy, Psycho Mike is

(15:29):
his name. He's going to put it.
Together and he works for them, right?
He's a producer, and he and Beansaid it's really no big deal.
They said that they're big fans.They said we're we're big fans
of yours, Bean said. It's no big deal.
We're big fans of yours. Yeah, that's what we live.
For Bean said that. Oh, I hope someday play the
tape, he says. Bean says it was no big deal.
We're big fans of yours. But you would I.

(15:52):
Hope someday we can get one of our bits on the Bill Handel
show. That's what Bean was thinking.
But you guys have to agree that there are some shows we hate and
we wouldn't want to have anything to do with this show.
But there are other shows like Big Boy Show or Bill's Show, I
think that don't really rub us the wrong way.
We don't really have a beef against those guys because they
do pretty good shows, right? Was I or was I not in a meeting
with you and the, I think the program director of KFI when

(16:12):
you? Said Bill Handle blows how?
Are you guys keeping him employed?
He's horrible. Was I in that meeting?
I don't remember that. How convenient my ass.
I do not recall. I do, I really don't.
Yes, you. Did that my friend.
No, it doesn't matter. But I still have to give credit

(16:33):
where credit is due. They're very, very clever guys.
And I apologize for not giving credit.
I really did not know that it was their creation that did
that. And just for that, we're going
to play it again. So there you go.
See, see what you found out. Big, big.
This line bill handle. Listen, I've never heard the
bill handle show because I don'thave one of those old tiny crank
up radios anymore that gets the AMI.
Just have the professional kind you get in your car that carries

(16:54):
the FM brand. Yeah.
But no, this, this will not stand.
Then be like, oh, he said. It's no problem.
We're big fans of yours. Can I get it?
I can't get a mug. Do you have any of those KFI
bottle openers left? Like to put in my collection of
memorabilia. There is just one funny, very
short clip that I have to play from later in the conversation.
I think especially you Psycho Mike will get a big kick out of

(17:15):
this. Psycho Mike, is that his name?
Yes, Psycho Mike. Psycho Mike, and I think he is
Armenian, isn't he? That's correct, yes.
He's Hispanic, but that's. Close this Bill Handel.
He's quite the researcher. By the way, I thought K Rock
just posted it. Hey, like what do I know?
My big factuous bonehead. Where?
Where can people download that? We can do the videos are.

(17:37):
Going to meet kfi.com, that true?
And I also hear we're going to have to deal this deal with this
at another time. But Rush Limbaugh is now
starting to play the MLK Spooks.So that doesn't.
Surprise me at. All being probably called and
gave us OK. We're big fans, Rush.
We love what I'm going to give you.
How about the hey there? Vagina get a Ditto head T-shirt.

(17:58):
Great pull, Josh. Well done.
I am unimpressed that Josh is asking for something without
having consulted the archive, although I love this clip.
Do better, Josh from Hawthorne. And that's the flashback it.
Was easy. Well, we're still on fun facts,

(18:23):
so on on. It's OK.
I mean, you can use this as a flashback as well because it
went so about freaking long as. Long.
But here are the rest of the messages.
Mean not messages. Fun fact.
Fun fact, during the Cold War, Soviets were able to easily

(18:43):
identify American spies by looking at their passport or
other documents. Soviet staples would rust and
stain the attached pages. American staples were made of
stainless steel, would not rust and thus give away the spy.
That. Was Josh from Hawthorne?

(19:05):
Rush D Russia so. What more would you like Josh to
expand on? Just, you know, they didn't have
stainless steel in Russia. No, that's kind of weird.
No, during the 1950s. Oh God.
And now a moment withdrew. Oh.

(19:27):
It just writes itself. All right, one last fun fact
before we mercifully move on. Fun fact, Paul Revere, famous
for his midnight ride, was a silversmith and is also
recognized as the father of forensic dental identification.
In 1776, he identified Major General Joseph Warren, who died

(19:50):
at Bunker Hill. His body was badly mutilated and
unrecognizable except for a silver bridge that Revere had
made for him years earlier. That.
Was Josh from Hawthorne? I like that, Josh.
Nice, great guy. Wasn't it true that Paul Revere

(20:10):
actually didn't do the full ridethat somebody else actually did
it? I'd heard that somewhere, maybe
on a TikTok or something. So it's got to be true, right?
He wrote to Russia, I think. He could see it from his house.
Yeah, you got rusty. All right, That's it.
And. Now it's time for the flashback
with no engine. Hello and welcome to a very

(20:34):
special. Flashback.
Because. I'm going to introduce you now
flashbacks. And no flashbacks.
Let's. Have a look at this.
Just play the intro. OK, this is actually one of
Edwin's. News to be Speaking of Bean,
this e-mail comes from listener Edwin.

(20:55):
I always a lot of my. Tweets are news to me too, Bean.
Back to you, Ralph. Yeah, that's true.
I always like it when Edwin writes.
And no wonder Bean loves Rachel Nichols.
She's a female Bean. I I couldn't take my pillow on
the plane. I I hate Bulgaria.
Can you imagine these two on a trip together?
Some true words were never written.
That's why Bean loves her. She's like a female hot bean.

(21:18):
Yeah, she's hot. I was gonna say.
That is a big difference. Well, still inside where it
counts, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
And that's a flashback. Podcast round all.
Right, here we go. But you know, the quality
standards we have on this show, that doesn't mean we're not
going to play it. We're still going to let it fly.

(21:38):
I'm just telling you ahead of time, it's terrible.
But it is only 15 seconds, so bear with us.
You get it. And when?
You want her to pull out your podcast?
We got it. Hello too happy goodbye to the
blue. Janky.
Podcast. Because it does involve farting.

(22:04):
Why does it? We're having a good time.
Farting is so funny, I mean. It is, Ally, it is.
And this is the roundup where farting is definitely funny.
But first I'm just going to get the elephant out of the room,
the whole Jimmy Kimmel's back. I think the one take that we can
get from all this because a a few podcasts were dedicated to

(22:25):
that, especially 3/4 human is this caller from the cuppa tea
in a chat show. Look, look.
I don't care if you talk politics.
I don't care if you don't. I'm going to listen to you
either way. All I'm saying is the guy ate a
piece of bacon that was hanging up on the walls of your studio

(22:48):
for an entire year, and now he'sgoing toe to toe with the
president. The guy ate a piece of bacon
that had been sitting on the wall for a year.
That's all. That's the one take away we can
all agree on. Jimmy ate a piece of bacon and
now the president is talking to him.
He has not. Not, not even just bacon.

(23:08):
McDonald's bacon. Canadian Bacon Yeah, maybe that
is the conspiracy theory. It all goes all the way back
there where he's an American. Canadian Bacon.
Something we can all unify behind that Jimmy ate the bacon.
Back exactly. Let's go over to Kevin.
In the Kevin in the Afternoon show.

(23:30):
He had a, what did he have? Memorials?
He was talking about memorials and this caller called in with
her memorial to her father. Hey Rock.
Hello. What did you do with your loved
one's ashes? Well my dad said he wanted to
travel the world and he asked meto flush him down the toilet and
he said if I didn't do it he would haunt me.

(23:51):
So I did take a little of his ashes and flushed him down the
toilet. But I also keep a vial of his
ashes and my purse, and I dumpedhim in two islands.
He's been to Hawaii, he's been to Hawaii, Disneyland, San
Clemente, Yosemite, and I take alittle piece of him wherever I
go and sprinkle him where I think he'd be enjoying the time

(24:12):
with. Me.
Nice. I love that you're actually
getting him to travel the world.That's fantastic.
Yeah, and he's already been everywhere, now through the
toilet. That's not as great a tribute,
but listen, you do what you got to do.
Yes. I did not know the toilet
travelled around the world. I did not know that was a way.

(24:33):
I got my in laws in the closet. Just say though like we'll deal
with them later. Never mind.
Take them everywhere. With.
You when they decompose. They're already.
Helping mean ashes? Yeah, they're ashes.
Yeah. So let's just say so my dad was

(24:54):
he was cremated. My stepmom has his ashes but
then like let's say she gives the answers to like me or my
sister, then what? And then they get passed on to
my niece and nephew and then what?
Do you just eventually just throw them out?
That's what we're going to do. We're just waiting till we can
get everyone together and do thethrow out at sea or where

(25:14):
everything it's. Yeah.
That's so we're just keeper of the ash at the moment.
That's. It it's not throwing out a see
through, you scatter them at sea.
It's like a ceremony. When we did my other
grandparents, we went out to theSan Francisco Bay and we were on
a sailboat and my uncle went to toss the ashes over the boat and
the wind blew it all back in hisface.

(25:36):
Yes, are you you know you have you ever seen the movie or read
the book of shipping post do what James Judy dance did and
that and I'm just not going to go into it because it's it's
poo. Go into it.
It's the podcast roundup. We talk about that here.
On. What's our next T-shirt?
Christopher what? Moving on, Lindsay, thank.

(25:58):
You. Oh.
God, I'm sure. I was afraid it was going to be
something else. And moving on like a toilet
being. Flushed coming both boys.
Newberg's coming this fall. The week that was 2.

(26:18):
I only played two clips. Two too many if you ask me.
Let's go to Ralph report. Queen Jay gets injured one more
time. So you were lifting your
accordion and that's what threw the back out.
Yeah, yeah. You know it is when you're
lifting your accordion. How heavy is the accordion It's.
Goddamn heavy. Is it really?
It's a heavy, heavy instrument. 45 lbs maybe.
It really is. It's.

(26:39):
Too heavy for a musical instrument.
It is den. That you're supposed to hold.
It's the biggest 1 you can get. It's in a case that's
substantial itself and you can only, only carry it with one
hand. That's the problem.
So I had to carry it from upstairs, downstairs in my car
'cause it was getting fixed. So like it's awkward to carry it
because you've got you got one side being pulled and if you've

(27:01):
got bad back to begin with, it just boom.
Only you had a strapping strong husband who could have.
Carried it for. You I know, right?
Why are you struggling with thaton your own when you should have
just yelled for me to go get it and put it in your car?
I figured if I strap it on to play it that I should be able
to. Carry it.
Hold on a second. Oh, wait a minute.
What are we talking about here? Is it a we still talking about

(27:23):
musical instruments? Yes.
That was a journey just like that girl's ashes.
Big journey. Yeah.
She, you know, instruments are kind of sneaky.
They are heavy. They're awfully weird to carry.
Sometimes. I play an upright bass, used to
play upright bass in college. And carrying that thing all
around, getting that thing everywhere.

(27:44):
It's difficult to play a walk marching grand piano.
It's horrific. Yeah, oh, man.
Let's go on to more Ralph report.
He had an analogy called the week hole of getting out,
digging yourself out of the week.
Starting from Monday, you're digging yourself out of the week
hole. OK.

(28:06):
And and so Monday starts where you're digging yourself out of
the week hole and Eddie ruined it.
I feel hole. Hair.
No hair the outside of it. We're in a mine.
Are we, are we, are we in a butthole?
I'll. Tell you where we're not.

(28:29):
Feels like we're in a butthole. No it doesn't.
It has nothing to do with buttholes.
The world feels like a. Butthole a week you got a
problem. Feel like a butthole but I've.
Taken my glorious, wonderful analogy and you've perverted.
It I have not, the world has. Into just butt hole stuff.
Don't give us a Rorschach test glory hole because it's always
going to be a butt hole. It wasn't a blot, it was a

(28:51):
distinctly finely drawn image. It's it's a blot.
Yeah. It's a smear it.
Was a rectum shaped. Skid mark.
It's a skid mark. I like when Queen Jay and and
Eddie go and ruin Ralph's analogies.
It's hilarious, but the weak hole was kind of not a very good
analogy from him. Is Ralph trying to be the new

(29:12):
Mr. Bad example? What the heck's going on?
I think so. I think he comes from a
misspeak. I think he wanted to say climb
out of the hole but he said the weak hole or the whole week just
like butt hole week. A hole week.
Yeah, anyhow, let's go over to the Bean and Ally Cuppetina chat
podcast. Ally calls and leaves messages

(29:35):
for a friend. She doesn't send texts because
they're too long, and here is the message she sent to her
friend about her recent grocery delivery.
OK, this is too much to type, but I don't eat Peaches.
Like just eating Peaches. I like Peaches, Jelly Peaches,
whatever that I don't have to taste that fuzz like the it's

(29:58):
going to throw up just thinking about it anyway, the nectarines
they gave me have like a fuzz tothem and they're called like
I'll have to go look something like naked nectarines or
something. Is that a thing?
Maybe It's not called naked nectarines.
It's. You're aware you're leaving a
message for someone else to hear, right?

(30:20):
You know that that is happening,right?
If you are one of my friends, you get very long voice notes.
I'm sorry and you're welcome. Anyway, I'm not going to eat
them. I don't like them.
They make me mad. Do you want my nectarines?
Because I'm going to go buy actual smooth nectarines.
What are these fucking called? White flesh Nectarines.

(30:44):
White flesh is even worse than naked.
Do you want these fucking nectarines?
So Ally is exactly the same as she is on the podcast as she is
in real life, exactly the same. That's.
It's makes sense. Anyone else subjects to the
voice notes 'cause I I got a friend that does that and it's
like, well I'm in for 3 1/2 minutes of explanation.

(31:08):
Yeah. Yeah.
Is that when they talk into Messenger?
Or Snapchat, they a very long Snapchat like that's multiple
video files coming at once. That's one where we get.
See, The thing is, I have two friends when they talk into
their text, so the text's reallylong.

(31:29):
So you got to read all that. And of course I'm like, OK, I'm
the shortest texter. I don't like doing it.
I don't want to be alerted. It's fine.
But after a while they just keeptalking and I'm just like, leave
me alone. I got work to do and it becomes
rather annoying because back in the day they would leave a
message and you could go pick itup when it was convenient.
But now it's constantly Dang. And then mine is Miss Cleo going

(31:51):
it sucked. So it's like it's just, it'll
take long. I'm like, yeah, we're turning it
off. I can't.
I can't do it. I don't.
Yeah. I could never get into the voice
messages, but I wish Sally wouldsend me some.
Also, I would like her fleshy nectarines.
They're delicious. White, fleshy nectarines.

(32:13):
Please. From Edwin.
What I. Was going to say.
You. Think if Edwin is calling you
out for perversity, you need to fix your goddamn life.
I like a good nectarine and I love Peaches.
Oh man, I love Peaches. Good Peaches.
Delicious. Man.
Oh, just you got to wash off thefur, that's all.

(32:37):
I don't even mind the fur. No, you like them, fuzzy?
All right, all right. Needing a dog movement.
What are you? Talking about OK, so other big
news this week was the rapture. And we're all here because,
well, we didn't get raptured. But here's being talking about
the rapture. I don't know if you were on the
tic tac at all over the weekend,but especially on Christian

(32:59):
TikTok they say the rapture is coming Tuesday of this week.
Maybe this was my reason to be so sick overnight.
Maybe we don't need to do a showtoday.
This is what I was going to ask you.
Are we wasting our time spendingthe next hour doing this?
No one's going to be interested in listening to this tomorrow
because they're going to be either too busy, going to have
it or going to hell. The last thing on their mind is

(33:19):
going to be a podcast. So you just want to call it?
Well, and it could be something you listen to on the way to
heaven. I don't know how it works.
Is there a long commute? Not sure.
Or on the way to hell. Why not?
That's a great point. Like do you have to line up and
stand there for days to get checked in?
I mean, if it's the rapture. There's got to be some sort of
processing, right? Yes, I would think so.

(33:40):
Yeah, it's everyone and. I see how busy it is just with a
restaurant on a Friday night. Imagine what it's like for
billions of people in line trying to get through a door.
God I hope I got more than one guy at the door.
The Rapture Melinda shared this to the page and it was a rabbit
hole I went down and it was hilarious.
I couldn't stop watching the Rapture videos.

(34:01):
I think it happened, just none of us made the cut because you
don't go straight to hell. By the way, we got to go fight
alongside with Jesus once. Once we died, then that's when
the downward trip happens. Yeah, Revelation, I thought the
good people go up and then the Earth is just kind of like a
hell hole. It's it's the war starts then
the the war between the Antichrist and Jesus for Earth.

(34:23):
Well, but also the rapture was something they made-up like in
the 1800s. It's not even really in the
Bible. Right, the one of the later
chapters, you know, the the expanded DLC.
The sigloids, The the George Lucas ones, yeah.
Yeah. What if this is hell and then
when you die then then maybe youascend out of hell after this
little journey on the blue planet?

(34:46):
I mean, the world's pretty crazyright now.
New quitters never give up religion.
We just started it. Chen's our pastor.
She's a pastor Rini. Hey.
Oh. Oh girl, I'm going.
To leave now, I'm not going to do myself.
There we go. Good idea.

(35:06):
Let's go over to Edwin's call about the Rapture.
And finally, and I think this isgood advice for you if you're
the type person who is a keyboard warrior, if you are
ready to write to us on the Patreon page or even call and
leave a message while you're listening to the show, I would
say in general, wait until the end of the show before before
you hammer out your thoughts on something.

(35:27):
Otherwise you end up like this big dummy.
Being Edward from Quitters, Never give up here.
You're doing a story about Rapture and you don't play the
Blondie song. My disappointment is
immeasurable and my day is ruined.
OK, so I listened to the end of the show.
You did play Rapture. Never mind.

(35:48):
So was that a bit, Edwin? You called in for real and then
called in again. Well, I actually, I did listen
to the whole show and so I knew they did play Rapture.
So it was a bit, yeah. OK, OK.
Then I still get it played. I fooled the bean.
Yeah, right. It's still funny.
OK, romantic comedies, you know there's only one plot.

(36:11):
I think we found another one. Let's listen to this call and
see if we can develop a romanticcomedy plot.
Finally, someone asking the big questions.
Hello listener Lisa from Huntington Beach.
I was just listening to your intro from episode 7 O 8 with
Porky Pig and it got me thinkingin my head.
I started naming Looney Tune characters.
Porky Pig, Petunia Pig, Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Yosemite Sam,

(36:35):
Elmer Fudd, and I thought they all have two names.
Even Speedy Gonzalez fits that pattern.
And then I got to Sylvester. Just Sylvester.
Not Sylvester Cat. Just plain Sylvester.
Why the heck doesn't he have twonames like the rest?
Well yeah, I guess Twee Bird does call him Pretty Cat, but
that was just Tweedy being Tweedy.

(36:55):
He's really calling him a Pussycat and not actually using
his name. Is it just me or has anybody
else ever noticed that? Don't ever suggest there aren't
still great thinkers in the world today.
Amen. Right, great point.
If anyone has an answer for her as the House of Ester ended up
not having a last name, please share it with us.
So yeah, the Woman Calls podcastjust a bunch of cartoons.

(37:18):
Edwin falls in love with her, drops his whole life and goes
finds her in Huntington Beach I.Think it's moving?
It's a meet cute. Yeah.
Yeah, I love some classic animation talk.
Finally on Cup of Tea. Thank you Bean.
Edwin could not stop messaging me about this woman.
Is she on the roundup? Did you get it?
Did you get that clip? Even got 1 today.

(37:40):
So Edwin is forsaken. Lisa Mae and Heavenly Helen for
Lisa in Huntington Beach. Oh, doesn't Sylvester have an?
Isn't there another name that he's never used it?
I believe he's Sylvester J Puddicat.
OK. We got 3.
Someone just called that in. What was it?
Saturday, right? Yeah.

(38:01):
So they're rolling that classic animation talk over.
I got to get one in on Monday. I I am surprised that Edwin did
not have a reply. I know I meant to.
I I was flabbergasted that the messages came through and it
wasn't listener Edwin that said his name is Sylvester Jay.
Pretty cat. Flabbergasted drone for a loop.

(38:24):
OK. I'll call something in today
then. Do you know any other cartoon
characters that just have one name?
One name, yeah. And the Looney Tunes.
Yeah, there's Bosco, Buddy and Foxy.
Those are all black and white cartoons, so you probably never
saw them. Yeah, who the hell are they?
Buckley. But that he's not Looney Tunes.
Goofy. Yeah, the old black and white

(38:45):
ones were all one names. Yeah, well, we're talking about
Looney Tunes. Looney Tunes?
Yes. OK, OK.
All right, All right, then that's the roundup.
That's it. I'm getting out of here.
Press the eject button. Ali, what did you think of this
roundup? It's.
I'm gonna throw up just thinkingabout it.

(39:07):
Thank you, Ellie. And now Edwin with the week that
was and I think a whole episode on Fleischer cartoons.
Go ahead, Edwin. Press the button, my friend.
Send me back into time. Edwin, our listener.
Edwin, he's a funny man. Edwin's funny pretty much every
time. Funny, funny man.

(39:30):
It's a new. Day, our feature presentation
2014. So Brooklyn 99 killed the the
animation block then on on Fox basically right?
I mean, I don't think we coming so.
Negative, dude. No.

(39:51):
What's wrong with you? Are we fighting cartoon fight?
Who has been fighting with what?We're going to find out oh by
the way guys, I finally got us asponsor, so let's play their
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(40:35):
viral video going out around a woman claims she had three
boobs. Christopher was on me.
Everyone's texting me this. I have this reputation as a
pervert now. I guess I should just lean into
it. So anyway, here's a little bit
about that story. Because I don't want to date
anymore. So you don't want to date any
men ever again? Right.

(40:55):
Never. Why?
Why not? There's got to be a reasoning
for that. OK, first of all, let me just
say that her face should help her accomplish that goal.
She's not bad. She's look, she's not.
Hideous. She's average.
OK, right, average, average. She's average, but it's it's not
that difficult for an average looking girl to turn down guys
and not date. Well, and she's posing in like

(41:17):
very scantily, very scanty pantyand the bra.
And that's right, to not get dates.
That's so that people don't findher attractive.
Don't find her sexually attractive in any way.
I loved that. Why didn't Lisa start a line of
lingerie scanty panties, Lisa Mays scanty panties.
And then Kevin, of course he hasto follow up.

(41:39):
He's always topping people. He made-up some own words of his
own. Well, I mean, that was a little
raggy, a little ragtaggy. I think we need to get that
together. We need to work on that. 106.7 K
Rock is KRQ. It's Kevin Abicho at 70 New.

(42:00):
Like Lisa's scanty panties. So look, we got some ragtaggy,
we got some scanty panties. Those guys were Ward Smiths,
weren't they? Let's go on to a story about Joe
Jonas and I'm going to get, I think we will all get a little
bit of a penis sickled neighbor vibe out of this.

(42:21):
This may be Kevin warming up to that classic while.
We're talking about relationships.
This Joe Jonas, he's a wild card.
He needs to be dealt with first.He broke up with his girlfriend,
Blonda Eggenschweiler. You know Blonda Eggenschweiler,
right? Really.
That's a That's a real name. That's her name, Blonda
Eggenschweiler. OK, and then immediately started

(42:42):
dating her best friend Gigi Hadid.
Oh no, she didn't. From Blonde Eggenschweiler to
Gigi Hadid. But wait, it's not over yet
because Gigi Hadid was going outwith his brother Nick Wait in
2012 and 13. Wait, so you're telling me?

(43:05):
That he's breaking all the codes.
Two of the Jonas Brothers are dating Beth best friends, but
they flipped flipped them. They both dated, both of them.
All right. Where did you get any of that
from what I said I'm trying to. Figure it out.
I just. Told you what?
Happened I told you what happened is dating a girl Joe
Jonas broke up with his girlfriend and started dating
her best friend. All right.

(43:26):
Nick also dated the same girl, the best friend.
Oh I see. OK, so Joe Jonas dated a girl
and then immediately started dating her best friend, who also
was the ex of his brother. OK, I got it.
No, you don't. I don't pretend I'm.
Pretty sure. Everyone else does.
But you don't. Yeah.
Jonas Brothers tell us what happened.

(43:47):
Jonas Brothers, play a clip. Don't play a clip.
Whatever. Why don't you tell us what the
situation is in? Jonas.
Jonas Right, You got that much? Was dating a girl.
Yes. Dubbed her and then dated her
best friend. Is dating yes.
Yeah is dating her best friend who used to date Yes, Joe

(44:08):
Jonas's brother. Paul.
Or Willie. Or, or whatever the other
brother's name is. Yeah.
Willie Jonas. Yes, I think what you're missing
is the seagulls and Julia Louis Dreyfus.
I think that's. What's missing from you and the
terrorist? Situation and the terrorist
situation, right? Yeah.
Hall of Fame. That's all I could say about

(44:28):
Kevin. That's a weird story.
They just, they went like on a double date and said swap.
Is that that really kind of like?
30 years later, it it, yeah, it it.
One was with Gigi and then they broke up and time passed and
then she got with the other one.Yeah, so they.

(44:49):
Just. Switched.
No, they didn't switch. Well, because one was dating the
best friend of this girl, right?Yes, and then the other was
dating the GG and then they passed the GG to the left hand
side and then. Not what happened at all.

(45:11):
Well, I don't know, I'm confused.
It's the longest moment we. Can't.
Yeah, we can't mock Kevin anymore because we're doing the
same thing. Well, OK, so this is later on
and they're do, they're still covering the story a little bit
and it led to a fantastic Rodneyclip.
But that that Gigi Hadid, come on, she's been around the block.
She has. Yeah, just ask Blanda

(45:31):
Eggensweiler. I don't know her, but if I run
into her I will. Who are these?
People. And why am I talking about?
I'm not sure and guess. What, She's got her hair back.
And people are still. Bangs.
That's the short kind of bangs. All right, now I'm officially
creeped the F. Out is too excited about that

(45:52):
hairstyle. Wow, that's a new one.
That's a. New one on me.
Let's go out. Man, there's sometimes where you
just have to take off. Please get the breath knocked
out of you. You just got to go.
Whoa. I was like.
Give me a second to recast. Her right there.
Well, I loved that Rodney to Rob.

(46:12):
I don't remember them using it alot though.
That's when they should have been a perennial.
I'm going to keep my ears open in the coming weeks and see if
they play it again. That was fantastic.
Have you ever asked Bean to justsend you all of the Rodney
drops? I should just.
Send this over a file. I come through a lot of them,
but they're a lot of them are not not clean.

(46:34):
So yeah. And that was spectacular.
I'm hoping he does that again. Let's hear.
They had a lot of great stars onthe show that week.
We got Carson Daily on and he's on.
He was doing the premiere of Oh shit, what is this show?
The Voice, America's Got Talent.Yeah, The Voice.
Sorry about that. So he got it to mock Bean and

(46:57):
Kevin a little bit because they didn't believe in that show at
first. This Carson Daly is on my last
nerve. I got to tell you guys.
Why? What's wrong?
I used to like Carson till he started cheating on his
listeners, pretending to do the show from Los Angeles like he
should be at AMP Radio and instead doing it from New York.
And look, if you're if you can'tlive in the city, if you can't
live in the city where you do the radio show, Carson, you

(47:19):
shouldn't be on the air. You, you're the Jackie Robinson
of this. Are you kidding me?
Here's here's here's the thing about Carson, 6:30 in the
morning, we're just waking up. Carson's already done ATV show.
He's doing 1 radio show right now and he's talking to us on
our show. That's how busy this guy is.
How are you? How are you keeping all these
plates in the air? Carson, are you doing OK?

(47:40):
I never would have done any of this if I, you know, I operate
out of fear because I know I'm really just a radio DJ and I've
been extraordinarily lucky in TVand it all could go away
tomorrow. So it's just like I'm at the
craps table in Vegas and I just haven't crapped out yet.
I mean, look, it's one thing to fill in on a dinky morning radio
show, but when you're filling inon the Today show, I mean, you

(48:02):
literally, you're interviewing the Secretary of State, you
know, you're interviewing terrorism experts.
I mean, that's, that's a real job.
I think that's been the hardest thing for some people who just,
you know, have known me, you know, for, for being a TRL and
then kind of a music guy. But there's, I don't know, it's,
it, it feels kind of natural at this point.
I mean, I'm 41, I have, and I'm a family.

(48:24):
I've got 3 kids now. I feel like I've grown up with a
generation. And after doing it for a couple
of weeks, you know, reading social media and stuff, I think
a lot of people like, you know what, it was really jarring at
first, but like now I could kindof see it now.
So, oh, that's cool. Are.
You do you think it is served you well?
Then you have quit the voice so that you no longer have to host
that as well as everything else.Well, no, I haven't quit the

(48:46):
voice. What's that?
You're still talking about, you're still hosting the voice
as well. Do you remember season 1, Kevin?
When you're like, dude, big mistake.
Why is it to another idol that show is going to?
Stop. They none of them do well.
You're an idiot. Yeah, I do remember saying all
of that, yeah. And now this is season 7.
I've been on the Kevin and Bean show every premiere episode like

(49:07):
I am right now to tell you to suck it.
You're wrong. And you remind me every time.
And you're absolutely right. Yeah, Carson Daly got the last
laugh on that one. The other one was Dancing With
the Stars. Remember, they had the creators
of that on. So you're dumb that that's gonna
be off in one week. I think they're both still going
on. Yeah, all of these reality

(49:27):
shows, American Idol, the X, whatever it is, I don't know.
None of the none of the Kevin and me never thought any of them
were gonna work. Except Survivor.
They loved Survivor. Yeah, but that was.
All the other ones they mocked. Yeah, it wasn't a performance
one. It's, you know, the weird
performance ones of getting out and singing is just weird.
I think we should have like an American Idol type thing where

(49:50):
we have our six listeners submitlike their versions of Hey
there, vagina and brow down and,you know, there's got their
talent classic. Yeah, Critters Got Talent.
There you go. I hardly indorse having other
people do work for us. That was one of the Kevin and
being creators too. So anyone out there you want to
do our work, fine, OK, let's keep going with Carson Daly and

(50:15):
being kept doing this all week. He kept bringing up Taylor Swift
to anybody that he could get on the air.
We're talking to our friend Carson Daly here on The Kevin
Bean Show about the Season 7 premiere of The Voice, which
happens tonight on NBC at 8:00. We talked about the coaches a
little bit. You've got some new season
advisors this year, including Stevie Nicks.
Also, Gwen's husband Gavin is going to be doing it.
I want to know when Taylor Swift's going to be on my TV.

(50:37):
Carson, I don't know what the deal with Taylor Swift is, but I
think she's going to be on your TV screen.
I hope she is. We've decided to do this.
You know, by the way, I should just say, like our coach a week,
Season 2 of this show that, you know, we hadn't won an Emmy.
It didn't quite have the critical acclaim that it's
earned now after, you know, 6-7 seasons.

(50:58):
And it was kind of hard to get coaches.
Most A listers like that's goingto ruin my career.
I don't want to do it. And now if we had the exact
opposite problem, we have everybody beating down our door
to be a part of it because they realize that it can help him
out. So in a good way, like we have
Chris Martin from Coldplay, who just as a fan of the show and
wanted to be a part of it. So we created basically and
all-encompassing like Yoda, likeyou'll be a coach to all the

(51:20):
coaches, you'll be like an advisor to everybody.
And we created that position just because like, you know,
Chris Martin would do it, you know, and it to be the same
thing with a Taylor Swift. So I think you'll see T Swizzle.
Don't. Do not say T swizzle.
That is not acceptable. That is not acceptable.
So after Carson Daly was on, Ralph kind of got his his fur up

(51:44):
because he noticed being won't stop bringing T swizzle into
everything. Hey, by the way, Speaking of
being in his insanity, can we put some sort of moratorium on
being asking unrelated Taylor Swift questions to our guests?
This was completely related. She is a coach on The Voice this
season. Yeah, but.

(52:06):
Yes, Ralph, yes, we can. We have to.
We're not going to see Taylor Swift on my TV.
Carson Daly, he's got a lot of good stuff going on.
A lot. Right, but he was promoting The
Voice. He's one of the advisors this
season. That was a completely
legitimate. Question.
But why don't you ask that of someone who isn't Carson Daly,
who has 9 million interesting things going?
On or e-mail him. Yeah, he.
Could tell you on the sly Twitter you were gone Kevin.

(52:28):
But we had Hannah Simone from New Girl on the show.
Right. Talking about the new upcoming
season of New Girl. Right.
A lot to talk to her about. Sure, this is what we get.
Did you remain friends with Taylor Swift when she was on
your show? He.
Did not say that he. Did no.
And you can hear the awkwardnessin her voice.
She was like, we never really were friends.

(52:50):
She did the show. She we.
Were. Talking We were talking about
stars on The New Girl and. I don't understand all the
blowback about Taylor Swift to you.
Then the whole thing became about Taylor Swift.
Yeah, I went back and found that.
Listen to it. I I clipped it down to the
beginning part where he brings up Taylor Swift.

(53:10):
I listened to This is Hannah Simone from New Girl.
She kind of stops in her tracks.Did you stay friends with Taylor
Swift after she did the show I. Don't know if we ever were
friends, but we loved having heron the show.
That was great. She was really funny and she
improvised and, you know, she could poke fun at herself.

(53:30):
That was really great. She was a great guest star on
the show. I don't get all the anti Taylor
Swift that's out there. I don't get it.
Is there? I don't know why people.
Taylor Swift I think whenever somebody gets red hot, there's
that reaction that goes the other way.
I just, I don't, I don't get whyso many people are so, so down
on her. I mean, she seems to me like
such a strong, talented woman who kind of does her own thing

(53:53):
and doesn't really bother anybody.
But. I feel like people just like
things to talk about. Yeah, that's it.
You know what I mean? It's just like high school on a
massive level, Yeah. That's true.
Well, and you being specificallybeing, being and loving her so
much. I think that's what it is.
I think I have turned some people against her because I
love her so much. Yeah, I think that's part.
So it's your fault. That's what we're figuring out,
right? Yeah, she was right, because I

(54:16):
would have no opinion on Taylor Swift unless being talked about
her all the Dang time. True, yeah.
Yeah, he was on a roll. Can I share a proud, proud dad
moment? Sure.
Please. So the new Taylor Swift movie is
coming out. She's got some movie coming out.
And I heard about it, and as a dad, you're trying to figure out

(54:37):
things to do with your kids. So I asked my daughter.
I was like, do you want to go see the new Taylor Swift movie
that's coming out? She said, dad, I don't know.
I don't like Taylor Swift. I started crying.
I was like, OK. Nice.
I'm proud for you. Yeah, I'm, I'm tearing up a
little bit here too. Well done.
You've raised her well. Right.

(54:58):
That's like the new AT&T commercial.
Oh, I would love that to be an AT&T commercial.
We got to do a parody of that. Yeah.
F Taylor Swift, and he's just there.
Wang, Liz. He's so confused and.
I'm OK staying that way honestly.
We'll enlighten you in a future episode.

(55:19):
Please. Do let's go to one of my
favorite things being being, being.
Look, even if you're not doing anything that your spouse can't
see, you have a right to privacy.
Yeah, and nobody wants to say going through this stuff.
I mean, Bean hides food from hiswife, for God's sakes.
Can you imagine what he does with his cell phone?
And he's keeping his cookies to himself.

(55:40):
I can only imagine there's some sort of lock box where he keeps
his phone. If you didn't hear that story,
Bean does hide food way up high because his wife is short and
she can't reach. So he can keep the food from
himself. It's.
True or not, it's true, but it'snot.
It's not that out of bounds. Come on.

(56:00):
No. What?
Kanye. 'S doing is out of bounds.
What you're doing is insane. I've got AI, don't even think I
told you guys this. At the time I've got a.
What do you got now? I've got a.
This is, I swear to God, this istrue.
I've got a secret mini fridge inthe basement that she doesn't
know about for things like chocolate milk.
A fridge? A mini fridge, Yeah, Because,

(56:21):
you know, it's one thing I can hide, you know, Oreos or
whatever. But, you know, something like
chocolate milk, you got to put that in the refrigerator.
Can't decide that in the real refrigerator.
So I got a secret mini fridge. In the secret mini fridge.
What? How does it secret?
Is it is it disguised Look like a set of snow tires or
something? How do you how do you make a
secret? You see a fridge in the
basement? Oh, it's a fridge.
It's not a secret. No, it's a mini.

(56:42):
Like a library and you pull the right book out and then it opens
up. I have it.
I have it in the, in the area ofthe fridge that's kind of
cordoned off. It's got the like, there's a
separate room in the fridge that's just for, you know, lawn
furniture and things like that, seasonal stuff, Christmas
decorations like that. You mean the basement, not the
fridge? In the basement, yeah, OK, you
said. In the you keep it in a certain
segment of the fridge where you keep.

(57:02):
Lawn furniture. I apologize.
Now I've got a room in the basement that is really just
storage and it's like behind a big curtain for the body.
And that's where the fridge is. The fridge is.
Deep. Deep within there, so she'll
never find it. Because you are only able to buy
chocolate milk one time in your life.
Sure, you know they always sold it that one day.
Remember. Remember chocolate?
Honestly. Couldn't you buy like a gallon a

(57:23):
day? Look, I know I.
Do need to go through to get a glass of chocolate milk by the
way. Must pale in comparison to just
being on the up and up and keeping it in the main fridge.
He's got a bone there. He's got to go bind the curt.
Got it into the eyeball stay. On the secret blonde furniture
section to get some freaking chocolate milk.

(57:46):
I'm going to cut it a little bitshort, but Bean's point was
sometimes you want some chocolate milk, you go home and
your wife drank it, which anyonecan understand if you're in a
relationship that could happen. But you say, hey, get me some
more chocolate milk, but no beanhas a Satan.
Let it expire. Still drinking?

(58:07):
I I just like how he doesn't have even like next quick powder
or anything like he's got milk. It's like you can.
This is not a hard situation. Could it be part of his
Asperger's? Cuz you know he wants chocolate
milk and if he doesn't have it, oh man.
I can't agree with that. Yeah, I.
Remember. I mean, there's a complicated
relationship with chocolate milk, doesn't he?

(58:28):
With everything, yes. And with his wife.
Good point. I remember listening to this and
the Get Smart theme popped in myhead.
The doors opening and he's doinghis eyeball scan.
I think Ralph mentioned that. Yeah, but just like he just, he
goes into a phone booth, the phone booth like shoots him down
and he walks through some mystery doors and Mormons, I

(58:50):
just picture that for Bean. And then once he gets to his
chocolate milk, he forgets his glass and he has to go back all
the way back upstairs to get it.They loved it.
They they brought that up twice that week and I brought the best
one when they first found out because Ralph and Kevin couldn't
believe it. Let's go to another fantastic
guest. This is Melissa Fomero.
She's from Brooklyn 99. Very funny show and listen to

(59:13):
how she comes on and of course being so nice.
You're listening to the Kevin and Bean Show at Nine O 7.
Oh, is that the best theme on television?
Come on. Brooklyn 99, ladies and
gentlemen is back for season 2, premiering this Sunday night at
8:30 on Fox. We're very excited to welcome
back to the studios Detective Amy Santiago herself.
Actress Melissa Pumero joins us on.

(59:36):
K Rock. That's not annoying.
So I'm leaving. Let's start by.
That would be awesome. If you stood up and walked out,
that would have been awesome. Shortest interview ever.
Let's start by seeing how how you tell us that Sunday night is
going to be good for your show. I think Sunday night is going to

(59:59):
be amazing for our show. We're in between Simpsons and
Family Guy 2. Nice, long running, well loved
shows. I love them.
It is the most watched night of television.
It's. True, and and there's not a lot
of other comedy on Sunday night.Oh, that's true.
There's a lot of drama, a lot ofheaviness, a lot of heaviness,
that's true. A lot of so Brooklyn 99 killed

(01:00:19):
the the animation block then on on Fox basically right?
I mean, I don't think we. Coming so.
Negative, dude. No.
What's wrong with you? Are we fighting?
Cartoons fight. Why do you make cartoons?
Indeed, we like Melissa. Should we work on our
relationship we had on here we. Had her in before we had a good
time. What's going on with you?
I love Melissa. I've just tried to get courage,
just tried to understand what's going on.

(01:00:41):
So Bean starts off Ralph. Well, I'm going to play what
Ralph said. This was after the whole
interview, which was really good, and Ralph noticed that
Bean was kind of negative. Well, it was 6.7 K Rock is KROQ.
It's Kevin and Bean Show at 9:39.
Tell me why your TV show will fail now He.
Didn't say anything like that. That it's moving.
Yeah, I think he came across as much more negative than he

(01:01:03):
meant. To absolutely, but I did not
mean come across as negative at all.
She was back. She was rocked back on her
heels. It was like 3 in a row though.
Like 3 questions in a row. That's an annoying sound.
Where's your show going? To fair, that's a bad night for
television. Then you're going to put on
Sunday. Night.
Tell me what lies now you're going to say about why your
show's good. It's true.

(01:01:27):
You are going to go hell Oh, it's got tags.
Someone punched me in the face. I even know what.
Happened. At least I didn't tell her she
was pretty. That's true.
At least I didn't do that. I left that one in the quiver.
So after Bean or after Kevin andRalph crowd this up to Beanie
goes well let's call her cuz like she just left and they did.
They called her up and they tried to see are we cool?

(01:01:50):
Melissa, are you? Are you there on the line?
I'm here, Melissa. I don't like the.
Sound of this already. Did Bean come on a little
aggressively early on in the interview when you first sat
down? Bean and I are in a fight like
that's a thing that's been established.
Oh, Melissa, I feel so terrible.My money's on you, yeah.

(01:02:10):
I feel so we're. Going to have to go.
We're going to have to go to therapy and work on this.
Did we patch it up at all? With some laughs By the end of
the interview though, were you, are we cool?
Like when you walked out, were things OK?
I really love to hold on to a grudge, so you know that.
Sucks that's a Cubano thing. Yeah, yeah.
So now I've been a feud. That's right.

(01:02:32):
That's right. It's going to cut you now.
Ralph, I wish you hadn't pointedit out now, because now I'm just
going to feel terrible forever. Good.
You should. That's what I'm trying to the
point I'm trying to make. You should feel terrible about
how you treat it. I love Melissa and I love
Brooklyn 99. I'm not the.
Kid, if you didn't love being nice to.
Her then, if you love her. I thought I was being nice to
her. I thought we were just joking
around. We'll say this, by the way, when

(01:02:55):
we took a picture, Melissa turned to me and said, are you
going to smell my hair again? Which I didn't even remember.
I guess last time she was in I smelled her hair.
Melissa, we. Apologize on behalf of everyone
here at the Kevin and Bean Show.We.
Love you, we're just not good atshowing it.
I love it. I love it.
It's great. Anyway, we we're, we're sorry

(01:03:17):
and we're sorry. We're really sorry.
You're the best. I pretend I love pretend
fighting with. People.
OK, good. OK, good.
As long as we're pretend fighting.
I feel better now. All right.
Have a great weekend. Sunday night 830 on Fox.
We'll all be watching. Thanks, Melissa.
All right, you too. Bye.
OK, bye. God I'd love that.
She was so good. She was on for a long time and

(01:03:38):
great sense of humor and good sport.
Poor, poor Melissa. Kevin's a molesting her and
beans and salting her. Sorry, Melissa.
If you come on our show, Melissa, you'll be OK.
We'll be very nice. But you will be molested and
assaulted. We're just letting you know.
It's it's sad. No, not that, Not that episode.
We'll give her a break. She's already been through too

(01:04:00):
much. Edwin's in love with Lisa from
Huntington Beach now. Yeah, it's there's.
Only I've moved on. You'll be fine.
It's a soul mate. He's not going after anybody
else unless she starts talking about Looney Tunes or.
David that would be a problem for me and my wife and they
actually noticed something interesting about being this is
Kevin. I got to tell you, in in our

(01:04:22):
history being does come off the meanest to the people he likes
the best. I don't know why.
That's so true. I mean, we've been victims, or
maybe not victims. It's it's a compliment, I
suppose. He was really nice to me.
Oh, no, no. Yeah, exactly.
I went through my old clips. Do you guys remember this one?

(01:04:43):
Why did you think the world needed a podcast about a show
that isn't on the air anymore? Yeah, we're with you, Melissa.
We've been beamed. Yeah, we've been beamed.
Exactly. And that is it for the week that
was. Lisa, what do you think about
people that play old clips and talk about them extensively?

(01:05:03):
What? Dicks.
Come on, back to you, Steve. This has been quitter's never
give up episode #2 O 6. We hear the podcast about the
show and the thing and all this stuff.
You can find us here on our socials X Instagram, Facebook,
you know, and we'll see you nextweek.

(01:05:24):
Take it out, Steve. Take.
It out. Steve OK bro, how about I am
butter? Myself.
A little bit, huh? Smoke cigarettes?
Tell you where I'm coming from. Glendale Instead, I will take
those remarks and put them away.Away in a tiny lock.
Box where all bad thoughts. Go Well, that brings us to the

(01:05:50):
close of tonight's debate. Each candidate will now give a
brief closing statement. Jim, could I make 2 closing
statements? I'm afraid not.
In fact, we are almost out of time.
So I will instead ask each candidate to sum up in a single
word the best argument for his candidacy.
Governor Bush? Strategory.

(01:06:19):
Vice President Gore. Lock box.