Episode 209 - You start at small

Carl Weathers, Kevin likes the Eagles, Twin Peaks, Momma Mugs, Three's Company, America's sweetheart, and drunken monkeys!

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Hi mugs, I swear to God you better have this queued up.
Did you just lubricate a Kit Katand then proceed to penetrate a
Twinkie with it? This needs a penis.
I'm sorry, what? We have to ask the question, was

(00:25):
it why you do this to me, Demi? Why she's in here with me?
Damian, your mother's such gods in hell.
Colin Rayburn. Nars, Trebek.

(00:47):
Zabar Kresge. Kaldor.
Walmart. It's not working.
Casseron spell dummies, please lease.
They prefer to be called quitters.

(01:08):
Never give up. It's Halloween in America.
Go ahead. Repping for all of quitters.
Never give up. Check off Christopher, Check
off. Jen Tazorini.
Check off Lindsay. Hello, Drew, The great Edwin,
ladies and gentlemen. I love him so much because I
said quitters never give up and he said that's all they do.

(01:30):
What if those guys just make nice?
Just shake heads and have a cup of tea.
A spot of tea A. Lot of Marty people it is
quitters never give up. The podcast about the thing and
all the things Kevin had been. Let's go ahead and say hello to
all the quitters who's on 1st? So Edwin wins.
Yay, we all lose. Good day, mates.

(01:55):
No, when I win, you win. That's the way I look at it.
No more Ed lose. It's Ed win.
All right, here we go. Next one my.
Friend had Jennifer, his baby Mama girlfriend in 2 inch script
style letters on his neck. After the breakup, he had void
tattooed in red block letters ontop of Jennifer.
Hi, Jen. Hello party people.

(02:17):
That's. Funny.
It is, it is, it is hilarious. And finally, we have Drew.
Drew continues to lie to the American people about the Ebola.
Hey, Drew. Hi.
How's it going? I do.
The bullet ain't gonna hurt anyone.
Take two shots every morning. And, of course, who am I?

(02:37):
I am Christopher. I absolutely loved him.
So yeah, this is Chris. Chris.
Hi, hi, hi. How you doing?
All right, let's get things started with the flashback that
needs no introduction. Hello and welcome to a very
special flashback because I'm going to introduce you now
Flashbacks. And.

(02:58):
No. Flashbacks.
Let's. Have a look at this.
Just play the intro. Right, this one was sent to me
by Edwin OH. And it was great for about the
first, I don't know, 10 episodesor so, it was great.
And then it just had a very slow, very painful death.

(03:22):
Well, because they were making it up as they went along, they
didn't have in, you know, they didn't have an ending in mind.
So it just kind of petered out, which was a little bit
disappointing. What was he talking about there?
What I think it was Twin Peaks, the the rebuild of Twin Peaks.

(03:43):
Or, or was it Twin Peaks the Twin Peaks the original?
No. Oh, the original.
I'm sorry. Yeah, it started out great and
it just kind of petered out. Yeah, I think I remember, I
remember the bringing that up. But you could set it for a lot
of things, right? Like lost this podcast?
We just get better and better. I disagree with you all.

(04:07):
Right, we're doing the wheel O. One O 6 points at the K Rockets
KROQ and it is 10 minutes after 6 Cage the Elephant also 9 inch
nails and because you demanded it local H all straight ahead
here on the Kevin Abean show. First, though, Ralph, we don't
need you actually, because we'regonna do the we're gonna do the
wheel of bad animals never need anymore exactly for that reason.
No, this could be great. This one.
Someone has to stop the madness.This one's gonna be great.

(04:28):
Let's give up on the wheel of bad animal voices.
I plead. I beg of you.
We have so many stories, though.We have to put them on the
wheel. And yet oddly enough, this bit
is the same every single time. I don't think all the different
stories same. Lame.
Why such a? Sketches why do you hate?
Because it's bad. What what are the animal stories
that are on the wheelow bad animal voices today?

(04:50):
All right, we have the tweeting Ugandan gorillas.
OK, I see now, Ralph, there's a perfect example.
I've I've many questions for theUgandan gorillas that tweet like
like why and how? I mean, how would you not want
to hear that same questions we ask you about tweet Percy the
albino squirrel. Don't even remember that story.
I have no idea. Japanese attack bearer.
You know what most bears, if youpropose them will attack.

(05:13):
That makes him so special because the Japanese aren't
allowed to attack since World War 2.
That's why rock throwing elephant the one that we're
never going to do. The human faced lamb in heaven.
You don't know man. You don't know.
Could could land on that today. Giant Japanese jellyfish, the
trank Oxnard bearer. OK, the Russian dog girl.
The renegade kangaroo. The smiling dog.

(05:35):
What kind of kangaroo is he? He is a renegade kangaroo.
Reggae renegade. You originally said it wrong.
You said raining egg. So let's spin the wheel.
And then each time voices. Where do you think it's gonna

(05:56):
land? Oh, no, it's gonna be pretty
bad. But Kevin, so we'll do it
anyway. It's.
Time for the Yeah, we'll all bear the voices.
Come on, Brian. Come on.
Sir and his orchestra are doing our intro today.

(06:17):
Please be the dead human faced lamb.
Oh, it's the trade ducks with our bear.
I'm out of here. I'm going.
I can't listen to this is going to be funny.
Did you see it was just in the news recently?
It's a great story. Here's the story.
You could call it an unbearable position, but this 200 LB black
bear looked right at home as he slept wedged in a tree at this
Oxnard Cemetery fishing game. Officials peppered the bear with

(06:39):
tranquilizers after he climbed up this tree to take a nap, and
at dawn you could see 3 tranquilizer darts poking from
his fur. After several hours,
firefighters brought in a massive harness and ladder
truck, and crews carefully lifted the sleepy, sluggish bear
from the branches with his head hanging, his arms and legs
dangling, all before being safely loaded into the back of a

(07:02):
truck. Why do they have to keep, you
know, telling us how tranked he was?
His legs were dangling and his head was hanging.
I'll tell you, he sure was tranquilized.
He was way asleep. Well, we asked producer Alex to
light us up, somebody to talk toabout this story.
And we're going to pretend that it's the California Fish and
Game official on the line. But in fact, it's going to be, I
believe, the tracked Oxnard bearanswering the phone on the other

(07:24):
end. Hello.
Why is this the fishing game department?
No, this is not fits in the game.
This is Bear. You're the tranquilized bear.
I'm the bear being tranquilized.OK, you sound familiar.
I can't place your voice, but I feel like I've heard it before.
I do not know what you're Speaking of or what are you even

(07:47):
you're Speaking of? Can you say the word renegade
Renin Egg. OK, I closed it up now.
Oxar trekked Bear. Please call me Kevin.
Kevin. Alright, your name is Kevin.
Yes, my name is Kevin Derek Mobile, who has been on
tranquilizers. It was very sad that you're just

(08:08):
up there taking a nap, just enjoying yourself, sleeping in a
tree. Next thing you know, man comes
along and starts shooting darts sets.
I hate that. Oh, so do you.
Yeah. Wow.
I hated too, because I was sleeping.
You weren't hurt, buddy, right? I just took some strawberry ice
cream onto the street and I was eating here sleeping and next

(08:30):
thing I know strawberry ice creams everywhere and I have
thoughts in my ass. Yeah.
That's not, that's not, that's aterrible way to come out of a
nap, isn't it, Kevin? No, it's not a good napping way
to have. It.
Actually is, if I might say so, I might say so too.

(08:51):
So what are they going to do with you now?
Thank God you're not going to beeuthanized or anything, right?
They're going to. We're going to relocate you.
I am not old. I don't need to be euthanized.
OK, But he meant he meant killedbecause you're a threat.
Oh, I thought they made me younger.
No. With being euthanized.
No, no, no, no, no. He said you're fine.

(09:11):
You're released. You're someplace else now.
You're not. I made a wrong turn.
And that's why I'm. They were angry with me.
You made a wrong turn. Yeah, I was.
I shouldn't have been where I was, Right.
You just stayed in the woods. I guess with a little safer I
was going home from Burning Man and I made made and I saw on the

(09:32):
cow and I made a sharp turn and then I was Holly Knoxville.
Do you do you like the Burning Man?
Would you say you're a fan of the Burning Man?
I am a fan of long time Burning Man.
Oh really? And I'm going what?
How dare you? Well, how you how dare you?
How do you sleep at night time? Fun fact, I was sitting at a

(09:56):
Starbucks when they were trying to hoist that bear out of the
tree in Oxnard. Oh, wow.
And yeah. And it was just, it's like he's
just sleeping. Let him be.
And now we got to take him and move him someplace else while
he's all drugged up. So anyway, good times.
Oh, time for the bear. Yeah, he might have fallen off,
though. Wouldn't.

(10:16):
That's why they would have gotten him, because he might
have fallen. I mean, bears climb trees, they
can get in and out of them pretty easily.
They could. Have Yeah, I I sleep on a bed,
but I imagine if I were tranquilized and try to get into
my bed or on my bed, I might fall off you.
Know. Yeah, absolutely.
So, you know, that's why I thinkmaybe that way, but I wonder if

(10:39):
they use that same crane for beer mug when he slept in the
Bush. Oh yeah, maybe.
Maybe all right, and another. So this is good times.
There are a lot of animal stories.
We don't get to enough of them, so we put them on a wheel and
then we spin it and then whatever it lands on, we try to
follow up and get some more information on the story and it
always equals crappy radio. So we got that going forward,

(11:01):
starting that again. I'm here to try to help again.
I'm trying to save you from yourself and save, more
importantly, save the listeners from the next 4 minutes.
But how useful was it when we got to talk to Tilly the killer
whale down at SeaWorld last week?
I mean, that was an exclusive interview.
Nobody else had that. It was thanks to the wheel of
bad animal voices. We believe in.
Make that call. No, I didn't understand your

(11:23):
argument. All right, well, let's spit it
anyway. No, it's time for the animal
voices. Where do you think it's going to
land? Oh, no, it's going to be pretty
bad. But, Kevin, if we don't care, so
we'll do it anyway. It's time for the.

(11:47):
Yeah, we'll our bad voices. All right.
Stories on the wheel today. Boozy apes set to rehab.
Human face. Lamb in heaven, giant Japanese
jellyfish, Russian dog girl, renegade kangaroo, the smiling
dog, the tweeting Ugandan gorillas, Percy the albino

(12:08):
squirrel, the Japanese attack bear, the rock throwing
elephant. All on the wheel too.
Come on, Percy the albino squirrel.
I'm tired to find out what's up with Percy.
Let's see here. Let's do some follow up on the
boozy 8 sent to me. No, don't leave Ralph.
You got to hear the story. You don't want to hear what's
going on. Listen, once you'd find out how

(12:29):
entertaining. Alright, here's we missed the
call. Here's our old friend Jimmy
Kimmel. Here's a a funny animal story.
I don't know what's going on in Russian zoos, but a Russian
chimpanzee named Zora has been sent to rehab because he's
addicted to smoking and beer. Beer.
If only they could that's away from him.
Like maybe a cage of some kindness wouldn't be a problem.

(12:53):
26 year old ape apparently or monkey apparently enjoys a
cigarette after a meal and also likes to have some booze and
apparently now is hooked. So much so that they have to
send, send this boozy monkey, this ape, this chimpanzee to
rehab. But doesn't Jimmy ask the
perfect question, which is just put him in a place where he

(13:14):
doesn't have access to that and he'll clean himself out?
You don't have to send him away for that, right?
Right. But he was originally in the
circus. Then he went to the zoo.
It seems like all along the way there that that opportunity was
available to as it were. Well, I don't think obviously if
he's hooked on him, he had a regular supply, right, of
cigarettes and boobs. I don't know where.
I don't know if they have an underground with monkeys that

(13:35):
are tunneling underneath the, you know, the fences or
whatever, or they got the, you know, the guys that work there
that are giving them a drink andwell, I, I, I, I guess the only
thing to do is to talk to somebody from the zoo.
I think producer Alex was able to line up a person for us with
more details on Zora the boozy ape Yellow.
Is this Zora the boozy ape? Didn't he just said that it was

(13:57):
right. We don't talk to a lot of apes.
That's your hang up man. My problem.
You know where? Where do you get the cigarettes
from Zora? I buy them.
What do you think I'm cheap? Do you think I'm cheap?
I don't can for buy man cigarettes.
Most most you are starting crap with me.
I start crap with you. No, no, no, I'm saying but I
throw some crap in your head. Are you like that now?

(14:22):
Not even a little bit. But Zora, most monkeys don't
have money and don't buy things.Well, I'm better than most
monkeys then, I guess. But you're also in a zoo, right?
Well, first of all, I'm not monkey.
OK, OK, first of all, monkey have tail.
Monkey is a lower form of primate.
The crab throwing a tik infestedcrab head.

(14:43):
Wow. OK, I'm 8.
I'm 8. That's way better than monkeys.
That's way better, first of all.And that's why monkeys don't
have money Smokes. And it's can you know, you know,
use the tools and whatnot. Thanks.
Where do you get your money from?
401K. I'm sorry, did you say 401K?

(15:04):
Yeah, 401K in the circus when I was performing And you know,
retirement benefits, Social Security, I've got, you know,
financial planning. I do, you know, I think of
future. I'm not, I'm not stupid.
I need to make some sort plan for when I retire so I can be
comfortable and have, you know, smoking and drinking.

(15:28):
Now, what kind of drink do you get?
What's your drink of choice? I don't drink beer often.
You don't. But when I do, yes, it's those I
could smoth this ape in the world.
Well done. We need the wheel O bat.

(15:49):
How do you think we could get Ralph to do it again?
Never. I mean, you could maybe call in
for a comedy for one. Oh, but maybe we all did it.
Wow. We've tried that once.
And it's. Funny because in an hour.
The ones I've been pulling, it'slike, remember we did the one
episode where they did a scientific survey to see if they

(16:11):
would continue with the Willow? Yes, this is where he's kind of
bitching ahead. All of that good stuff, man.
I love talking animals. I I mean, me too.
That was hilarious. First time.
They also, we got a real human when they called, then they put
the animal on. That's that's a first.
Normally it's, you know, I'd explain this to the wife the
other day, like, no, they call and they're like, is this the

(16:33):
researcher? It's like, no, this is bear.
How do you think I call? Yeah, so.
Speaking of accents, when Ralph does, his Russian accent sounds
just like Bruno the Magnificent from the Bugs Bunny cartoon.
That's what I always think. Of.
All right. Fun, right?
That's the flashback. All right, Wonderful.

(16:55):
Awesome. It's my turn.
Now it is time for the podcast roundup.
Before we proceed, I need to, weneed to to establish
jurisdiction. It's imperative that we
established jurisdiction, your honor.
Oh, I'd like to also say I'm here on special appearance,
especially the parent for who. I'm for I'm here on special

(17:16):
appearance. Nailed it.
You get it. And.
When you want her to promote your podcast, we got it saying.
No to happy, goodbye to the Blues.
Yankee. Podcast.

(17:37):
Oh please tell me it has to do with poop.
No, no it doesn't. It has to do with all the
podcasts in the Kevin and Bean Circle universe.
Let's start off with Not today, Jen.
Go shopping. I was looking at this one stack
of jeans and they were not in number sizes like waist size

(18:00):
like 252627, they were in letters.
So it was excess S, medium, large, extra, etcetera.
Those are sizes for pants. Though, but I said, oh, these
aren't number sizes. I'm typically like a 2526.
So what size would I be in this?And Alex, what would you say to

(18:21):
a woman that asks you what size she.
Is I'm so scared. I can't holy.
Crap you. Start it small.
I'm going. To try it.
Yeah, you. Start it small.
Alex, I am my size. You're I'm standing in front of
you and I ask you what size do you think I am in?
Jeans. Yeah, small.

(18:42):
Easy, yeah. You start at small.
You start at small and let me correct you.
But like small is the safest bet.
Maybe an extra small if you wantto flatter me.
OK, but small, pretty safe. This guy goes, I don't know,
maybe like a medium or a large. See.
That's 22. Year old kid.
That's just 22 year old kid. I was like, that's. 22 year old.

(19:05):
Kid, I was like, buddy, you think I'm a borderline large?
I think you are borderline dead.Oh, man, Jen going away for a
murder case? Yeah.
I don't. I don't understand that kid.
That's that's just a given rule.I think they have to train you.
When you work at a clothing store, a woman walks in, you
just say small no matter what. You got trained by Al Bundy.

(19:29):
But see, here's what's so unfair.
As far as I know, men's pants always come in inches and then
do the length of your inseam, right?
So even still, the women's pantssize 8, OK, size 8 in one brand
from one, let's say the Lucky brand is different than a size 8
from Levi brand or from pick one.

(19:51):
It doesn't fucking matter. They're all different.
So I mean, it doesn't really mean it's always been that way.
And then when we got to a size 0, who the fuck is a 0?
I know what does that mean? The pants don't exist?
I never understood. That they're negative weight.
I think as Americans got larger,the pant sizes kind of shifted.

(20:12):
Absolutely. But I don't know.
I mean, I think, I just think that if men's pants were
complicated, we just wouldn't wear them.
I think that would just be a problem.
We would just be walking around in tighty whities and that
would. Well, 'cause you guys don't
care. It's awesome that you don't
care. But women that would be, oh, I'm
a size 4, I'm a size, who cares?I got clothes on, I'm good.

(20:35):
I think we care. I mean, if you know, I have, I
have pants that I had when I wasbigger and pants that I had when
I was smaller. And if I get in the pants that I
was smaller, I'd be, I'd be happy and not so happy if I get
in the bigger pants. I guess those sweatpants that
are one-size-fits-all. Yeah.
Oh nice. I have some shorts that I've
been wearing since high school that I just won't get rid of.

(20:57):
They they got no, no waistband or nothing, but they're perfect
to sleep in. Yeah, yeah.
But yeah, I think if if you, if you made us do math and
fractions and all that, we wouldwe just, we just wouldn't wear
any pants. But when it comes to shoes,
they're all the same. For the most part.
They're all the same size and they all go by the same size

(21:21):
numbers. You know what I mean?
What I don't know. Fashion is not my thing.
It's a conspiracy CON conspiracytrying to make women crazy.
I think that's what it is. I think so too.
Yeah, All right, let's go to thenext clip.
What's the next clip? The next clip is Kevin in the
afternoon and an interesting choice for Halloween

(21:42):
decorations. A South Carolina couples ultra
realistic Halloween display has neighbors so spooked that they
keep dialing 911 Family and Amanda Paden's home looks like
it is actually engulfed in flames.
Orange lights glow in every window, there's thick that smoke
that rolls out from the porch, and it appears as though the

(22:03):
house is truly burning down. The couple says the first night
they flipped it on, the fire department was called 3 or 4
times and hoping to stop the panic, they posted a Facebook
Facebook video just explaining that the fire is fake and asking
locals to please not call 911 again.
This video has gone crazy viral.Over 25 million views.

(22:24):
And of course there's people that are saying this is so
irresponsible, but in my opinionthis is the best Halloween
decorations I have ever. Seen.
Have you seen this? Yeah.
Yeah. It's great.
It's so good. It is great.
OK. No, sorry.
I would call the police because I'd be afraid it was real.
Yeah. Because it was that real.
It's incredible. Yeah, this, this house bugs me

(22:46):
'cause it's a really cool effect, but it isn't Halloween
and there's nothing on it that says ghostly Halloween, burning
building. I mean, yeah, it looks like a
place on fire. If you guys have seen this, it
looks like a place that's burning down.
They nailed it. Yeah, it's a fantastic effect.

(23:07):
It's a great job. I commend them on that.
But you are making firemen go out there a whole bunch of times
and yeah, Nope, Nope. They are not the people calling
or making the firemen go out there.
They're the true bad people here, the one tattletaling.
Well, OK, when their house burnsdown because nobody believes
him, you know, that's a, that's a that.

(23:29):
Would be great. That would be irony for you.
OK, so at what point do fire department say, hey, listen,
stop it, we're not coming out here anymore, you know what I
mean? Or do they get fined?
Or I mean. They really in.
A way it's. A yeah, they can't because if
they, if it catches on fire and they're like, no, it's a it's a

(23:51):
joke and it burns down, they're responsible and they could turn
into a bigger fire because the house next to it could catch on
fire. It's a problem.
But also it's only on for two hours a night.
Just so you know, it's literallylike they they put up that it's
8 to 10. So it's like 2 hour period.
Anything in that time period, you're good.
OK, so if their house catches fire 838. 830 they're fucked.

(24:13):
Yep. Make the flames blue.
Make them an unrealistic color. It's a meth house now.
Yeah. Make it just like ghost blue or
something. Or just put a fucking skeleton
up and call it a day. Don't don't try and outdo
anybody. Let's.
We don't need to be industrial light and magic for Halloween.
We just need to have a Halloweenplace, that's all.

(24:33):
Give me some candy. Put up a skeleton.
Yep. Wasn't there something similar
with Clark Griswold? They had a fake guy hanging from
the roof. There's there's those.
There's been a couple of them. Yeah.
But I think this is the one that's kind of a little too far
because it looks like the house is just on fire.

(24:54):
I mean, if you see the Clark Griswold hanging from the roof
in context of the thing, it it makes sense and you can kind of
see that it's not a real person.Right.
I don't know. People are dumb.
Yeah, people are dumb and they. Keep calling 911 and saying the
roof, the roof, the roof is on fire.

(25:14):
File. Fucking file.
Well, you know they don't need any water.
Just let the motherfucker no moving on like Spirit of
Lindsay. Then Billy Joel called, he said.
We didn't start the fire. I'm gonna leave.

(25:35):
I I will leave. Lindsay would have cut all this.
Yeah, I. Love it all, leave it.
Well, what's next? Jim Morrison saying come on
baby, light my fire. Yes, yes, yes, all.
Right next we got Ralph. Hello.
Death. Jon Hamilton.

(25:56):
Old, old timey actor. Anybody remember him?
Edwin, I'm looking at you. It's not.
Really. The John.
Hamilton, John. He was the chief on the old
Superman show with George Reeves.
So the old, old timey Superman show.
The chief What's the? Chief Black and white.
The chief of. What?
The chief of the newspaper. He played Perry Mason, OK?

(26:18):
Yeah. Perry White, Perry Mason was a
lawyer. I got Perry Mason on the mind
all the time. Me and right.
So he reviewed a clip for him for Hello Death and is bringing
back a classic saying. Great seizures, ghost.
I'm running a newspaper, not a home for mental defectives.
Yeah, mental defectives. I'm bringing that back.
That's a great. Can you say that?
Mental defective. Mental defectives.

(26:40):
I don't see why not. I don't think that's that hasn't
been cancelled I. Don't think so.
Say it until it gets cancelled. It's not the R word or anything
else. It's been mental defect banned
mental defectives. I'm throwing that around.
That's a that's a good one. It's a good one.
We'll find out tomorrow. We'll get a call about it
tomorrow. Look at these mental defectives
here in line in front of me. Come on, that's useful.

(27:02):
Go say that at the post office. That's useful, yeah.
No, all these mental defectives.We're not talking about people
with actual mental illness, right?
Just idiots. Mental defectives to me
translates into idiots, you know.
I say go for it. I like it.
I I like it. I've always liked it since Since

(27:23):
1 Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Like this clip?
How about it, you creeps, you lunatics?
Mental defective. Let's hear it from all Goose
Randall back in actually. Nice sharp chesser roof.
Oh man, I love that movie. But I yeah, I've always loved it
when he comes in faking the lobotomy and then he goes mental

(27:44):
defectives. But I think it works.
I think it I think it still fitsin.
It's right in that comfort zone.Here's what I think.
I think people are going to not understand the word defectives.
And so they'll just kind of lookat you like what?
What was that AI? Don't you know Well.
What about Great Caesar's ghost?That's what I thought he meant.

(28:06):
He was bringing that back. No, I thought he tried to bring
that back like a couple years ago, but that is a good saying
too. Great Caesar's Ghost.
It's much better than Gee golly Batman, I think.
I think that works. OK, so Ralph was also talking
about 3's company. Interesting week.
Suzanne Somers was born the day before, was born on the 16th and

(28:30):
passed away on the 15th of this month.
So she had a rare 2 two-part of appearance on the show this
week. Hello death and what is it Born
this day? And so, well, Ralph doesn't like
the Three's company theme, and so he blew it up.

(28:55):
Come and knock on our. No, Yeah, No.
Yeah. Come on.
Yeah. Why would you do that?
Fuck that song. Knock on my door.
Fuck that. We've been waiting for you.
Where's my actual dynamite? Hers and hers, and there is got
many too. Come on.

(29:16):
Oh, I did. A couple mental defectives here
singing that theme song. So Greg makes me want to go to
the Regal Beagle, have a drink. See there it is used in context.
Couple mental defectives. I loved how they kept it going.
I was so good. It was a little bit of Edioki
mixed with Queen Jay singing, but when they brought up Suzanne

(29:40):
Somers, Ralph had an interestingan interesting take, an
interesting idea on what's missing in today's society.
Fuck you, I love. That love it hate.

(30:01):
It so good, so much, such a great intro.
I called her America's sweetheart and Queen Jay and I
were having this conversation the other night.
Who's the America's sweetheart now?
Who's America's sweetheart rightnow?
Right now, Right who? Is it right pick?
One, I don't think you have one.Sidney Sweeney is Sidney

(30:22):
Sweeney? No.
She's no. Why?
She goes everyone's so polarizing.
Everybody is polarizing. So America doesn't get behind.
We're not unified in anything. For a while it was like in the
70s, we had lots of American sweethearts.
We had like Farrah Fawcett Majors and Suzanne Somers and we
all, there were girls. We were like, oh, she's
America's sweetheart. Yeah, Julia Roberts was it for a
moment. Oh, she was definitely America's

(30:42):
sweetheart. Meg Ryan, I think, was America's
sweetheart for a while. Now I don't.
Think we don't have any sweethearts?
I always thought, though, that that element was that it was
like the girl next door kind of a thing where it kind of
represented a innocent beauty. Yeah, but there had to be a I
see what you're saying. So it's there's a difference
between like a sex symbol and America's sweethearts, right?

(31:02):
America's sweethearts pretend tobe on the cuter.
They still have fun. More of a.
Yeah, they were still having a kind of a thing where you, Meg
Ryan, I think. Julia Roberts, I think.
Julia Roberts, I guess. She was also sort of sexy and.
I know, what about Turd Ferguson?
Anyhow, America's sweetheart. Wasn't this just a thing they

(31:24):
used to sell magazines? I think that's just what was a
headline that put on magazines. Wasn't there a movie with John
Cusack and Julia Roberts and it was exactly about that?
Like actors being America's sweetheart.
I don't know. I didn't watch a lot of Julia
Roberts movies. Yeah, Yeah, I think so.
I don't know. It doesn't.
Yeah. It's just sell magazines.

(31:45):
So. And now that we have the
Internet, you just get everything blasted at you.
So, yeah, and it's all negative.It's all.
Is that what it is? We're just too fragmented, and
we used to have three networks and everybody watched the show
and now, you know, we're watching a million different
things. Is that why we can't have
America's Sweetheart? Well, they're still keeping the
Sexiest Man alive thing. You know, that people just duh,

(32:09):
I'm here. No.
Well, they, yeah, they still keep dropping that.
But I mean, that's just one magazine trying to keep it's
thing going. But the sexiest woman?
I don't know. I don't remember them ever doing
that. Yeah, no, I mean, there was
Playboy and Penthouse and did wereally need it?

(32:30):
No, I don't think we did. Again, it's something, it was
something to sell magazines. I think that's what it is.
I think we've solved the problem.
I think, yeah. And now the algorithms.
They can cater specifically to you what you're going to like.
Exactly, and now with AI they could just make America's
sweetheart in a computer just perfect.
Yeah. Exactly.

(32:51):
I think we all know Lisa May is still America's sweetheart.
Yes, she is 100%. She's the reigning champion.
I don't know. I like Allie McKay.
I like her too 100%. Love Allie but I think Lisa's
the all time champ. Well, agreed.
See, This is why we're fragmented.
Fragmented. That's exactly it.

(33:12):
That's I'm. Sorry I fragmented you guys.
Yes, wait, I'm agreeing with everybody.
What's going on? All right, let's move on.
Move on, move on. Let's go to Eddie Pence.
He wants to join Tinder. I'm so glad I missed out on the
whole dating. I missed on it too.
I'm curious about. It phenomenon.
I'm not. I'm curious.
Like a nightmare. First of all, people are a

(33:33):
nightmare and second of all, social media is a nightmare and
apps are a nightmare. So you combine all three
nightmares. Right, could be a great
experience. No, you're missing my point.
I'm going to create a profile soI.
Just want to see, see what? See what's out there?
Nothing. I'll see what's out there a
bunch of. Just want a looky loo, that's

(33:54):
all. You're just want a looky loo.
You run that past Tracy's. I'm not.
I'm not going to. No, you got to.
The profile's not going to say my name.
It'll say like Ted Swanson or. Something I think the cat's
going. To be sexy.
Ted. Swanson not going to be me.
You're going to put your face onit?
No. No, it's.
Someone else's face. Yeah, or I'll put a mustache on
or something. A monocle.

(34:15):
I hope people start calling the Ralph report saying hi Ralph.
Hi, Ted Swanson. Hi, Queen Jay.
Ted. Swanson.
So Chris, are you on Tinder or another online dating?
No, no, I I don't know. I can't.
I don't think It just doesn't work.
It can't think about it. Yeah, I.
Agree with Ralph, I'm glad I missed all that.

(34:38):
Yeah, it's not, it's not fun. You just stalk people in in
person, you know? Yeah.
Back in my day we had to stock leasing me in person.
Yeah, I don't know. I no Tinder for me right now.
I don't know. Yeah.
Anyhow, let's go over to 3/4 podcast.

(34:58):
Probably the most surprising take of the week or surprising
revelation of the week was this Eagles.
You went to the Hell Freezes Over tour, didn't you Kevin?
Or when. They came back on the spear,
huh? Yeah.
All right. Yeah, Spear as well.
Yeah. Amazing.
Kevin likes the Eagles. If there was Vegas odds on
whether Kevin would like the Eagles, I would.

(35:19):
I would have put my house down on, well, I don't have a house.
I would have put everything I own on that.
That he doesn't like the Eagles.He's out there waving his hands
at Hotel California, Yes. I don't how he every other
classic band he does not like and they are the most classic
rock classic band of classic bands.

(35:42):
Well, you missed one The Beatles.
He hates The Beatles. I would have thought it would be
he hates The Beatles #1 hates the eagles #2 so I'm shocked as
well. Yeah, I I mean.
Maybe it was Marin. I don't know, maybe there's a
woman in play. I.
Mean as as as I listen to the old stuff.

(36:02):
He goes to movies because his wife wanted to go.
They go to concerts because his wife wanted to go.
But I still, I think the Eagles would be a great fantasy because
that's basically my one of my childhood songbooks of listening
to all those songs growing up onthe radio and all that kind of
stuff. And I think it'd be a good show.
I think, I don't know. For me it just seemed like

(36:22):
really old people music. Sorry.
It just, yeah. That's what makes it great it.
Just seems like, I mean, they're, they're they're like
what, 80 now? Something like that.
Yeah, but when I went to Neil Diamond's in 2009, there were
some people when five generations of our families

(36:43):
here. So I mean, yeah, you know.
I get it. I get it.
It's just of the classic rock bands, the most classic rock
band of classic rock bands has got to be the Eagles.
I I Oh yeah, I think. Totally and overplayed on every
goddamn radio station. Really.
Do I need to hear Hotel California again?

(37:04):
They don't have anything else toplay.
They don't. Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Yeah, they were the Red Hot Chili Peppers of their day.
Yeah. Exactly of of classic rock.
Exactly. All right, let's go over to They
had a guest on Tuesday. It was Mama Mugs.
Let's talk about current day Dodgers, then Mama mugs.
Let's talk about the game against the Phillies that went

(37:25):
into the 11th inning. Were you still watching?
Oh yes, my heart was not in my chest.
It was outside on the couch. It was pumping so hard I
couldn't keep it in anymore. And what was your reaction when
the pitcher for the Phillies fumble the ball and couldn't

(37:47):
throw it and threw it, you know,made an error throwing home?
I exploded. I exploded.
I just absolutely. I couldn't believe it.
I sent a simple throw to the plate.
It was just so thrilling and my poor dog.
You she scared your dog? Oh my God.

(38:08):
She jumped off the couch. Oh poor baby, what the Hell's
going on? Totally freaked and she's
looking at me with her eyes. What's going on, Mommy?
I didn't do anything. I was a seat.
What did I do? I'm not a bad girl.
She's out here scaring her dogs,scaring the neighborhood.

(38:30):
Did you see that game, Eddie? Eddie's been bugging me about
the Dodgers. Yeah, the interesting thing was
in the Philly series, they got murdered in that game.
So I'm like, I wonder what Mama Muggs is feeling.
And I think the next game was like 1 to one for 11 innings.
So I actually called the 3/4 human line on Friday the next

(38:51):
day. Wake up, Christopher.
I'm sorry, sorry. And I go, Kevin, you got to have
Mama mugs. And I want to know if she's
losing her mind. And then Kevin texted me back
like 5 minutes later, oh, she'llbe on Klo S like right now.
And I put it on Klo S and sure enough, that was Mama mugs.
And then she was on 3/4. Sorry, Lindsay. 3/4 Human

(39:11):
podcast. The next lot of Mama mugs.
All right, you can cut this partout.
But what's happening in baseball?
Oh, no, we got to leave this in.OK, OK.
What's happening in baseball is the Dodgers.
Christopher, what's happening They.
Play baseball and they do good. Yeah, I get that.
OK, so I'm up in Northern California, so everybody likes

(39:35):
the Giants and the A's. Is that right?
The Seagulls. Seagulls But you said it went to
an 11th inning or he said it went to an 11th inning, so it
was overtime. Yeah, technically.
Are they in the playoffs? Are we getting to the playoffs?
Is that what's happening? They're actually, they're

(39:55):
actually in the World Series nowand I think they're playing The
Who are they playing? The Yankees?
Maybe, I don't know, They're playing somebody.
Who are they playing? Edwin.
The funny thing is being mentioned the Dodgers and they
still won, and he mentioned his Mariners who are playing
tonight. So if the Mariners win, they'll
be in the World Series against the Dodgers.

(40:16):
Oh, OK. Oh.
OK. OK.
Thank you for the update. So then it'll.
Be It's the playoffs, Jim. But.
But but the, the, the Dodgers are in the World Series.
Exactly right. And and the thing about
baseball, it's just too many goddamn games.
I mean, you could, you could have a losing record all the way
to the All Star break and still make the World Series.

(40:39):
There's like 100. And how many games does that
win? Like 120, 100 and something I
don't know. 62. 8000 games, I don't know, it's just so it's so
long. They're long.
Yes. I'll just wait till the playoffs
and watch them. That's me.
Hit one out of the freaking stadiums last night.
It was amazing. Really.
Yeah. That's cool.

(41:00):
He that, that's me. They get to the World Series.
I'll start like, picking up stories.
And the Shohei Atani hit like, what, three home runs and struck
out 10 people like the whole everybody on the Internet's like
losing their mind at this game. He did good.
Go on YouTube and type his name.It's fantastic.

(41:21):
Everybody's like, Oh my God, this is the most amazing thing
in history. All Tyler, anyhow, we'll we'll
bring that baseball a little bitlater.
This is kind of a moment with Kevin.
All right, Can we do? I'm sorry.
What? Yeah, let's see that.
Why not? All right.
Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry, sorry.

(41:44):
What? What?
All right, so I have a story that, of course, comes out of
Florida. There's a Florida man who went
to a Circle K in his neighborhood and he opened up
multiple cabinets and stole seven $7000 in scratch off

(42:04):
lottery tickets. Oh, but that's pointless because
they have to sell them before they're activated, right?
They have those. Isn't that how that works?
I think so, but these are scratchers.
I'm not. Scratchers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. His name is Justin Farley, 43
years old. So I want to ask you guys, after
he stole those, right? What happened next?

(42:27):
Oh, that's the wrong feature, I'm sorry.
That's the wrong feature. That's the wrong feature.
I mean but, but, but that's fine.
I mean. No, no, I'm sorry.
What? So I'll just tell you what he
did because it's unbelievable. OK, so if you're familiar with
the show, they do a segment called I'm sorry, what, which is
they just tell you a weird storyof in the news and they they go

(42:48):
through that story. The you know, how does a story
end is where they figure out howit ends and Kevin mix it up mid
segment and everybody was thrownoff.
It was pretty funny. But anyhow, the guy got caught
because they have serial numberson those tickets and and they
can't cash them if they're reported stolen.
Yeah, yeah, they are active likewhen when they when they sell

(43:10):
the things like the entire book,they come in because there's
like only two Lotto companies inthe US.
So it's likely this one. But they the whole thing's
active. But the second like they go
ahead and say, hey, these have been stolen.
They'll nuke the entire rest from that point on.
Like they love to do that. They have their own like little
cop. It goes like ape.
It's funny, yeah. Don't screw with the Lotto

(43:30):
Commission. Yeah, you know, seriously, it's
your fault. You.
Can screw with anyone else, but not them.
They should have a show ATV showlottery svu right?
Something like that. Lottery Lotto in order.
Kevin, like he did everything hedid, Florida he did.
How does the story end? Dumb criminals.
He like combined all the segments into one segment and he

(43:51):
didn't know it. All he needed was an animal
voice and it would have been perfect.
Yes. All right, I'm not gonna do any
corny because Lindsay's not hereto annoy, so I'll just skip that
Cuppa Tina chat. They were talking about the 6-7
meme. If you have kids, you've heard
about this meme, and let's hear them talk about it.

(44:14):
Of any teenagers giving you the 6-7 meme lately?
But I'm already so sick of hearing about it.
It's all over the tic tac 6-7. You know what I'm talking about.
I. Don't understand it.
Is it like they're 69? No, although they do get very
excited when that number pops up.
It's so dumb. I hate to even give it any
oxygen, but it came from a song by a rapper, I think named

(44:34):
Skrilla, and then it ended up talking about a basketball
player. Now they just scream it at each
other. But at least we're past Skippity
Toilet, right? That's got to be an improvement,
I think. It's from a song called Doo Doo.
What's going on with the kids? What's happening?
The next thing you know, there'sgoing to be nose.
Rings on the news. Yeah, 6-7 basically means like

(44:58):
Manahasa, that's a toss up. They just, you know, but they
just like shouting it. Nothing to do with anything
else. I have kids.
They've I've seen them, I've used it to try and get it to
stop. It won't stop.
In fact, that discussion came from a caller named Tony who
tried to Co opt it for her classand it didn't work.
It made it worse. The kids just love it when the

(45:21):
olds use their language. It's weird.
All right, Ghostbusters, the Ghostbusters theme, is it
Halloween? We don't know.
We don't really care. But the Ghostbusters theme
always makes being think of Donna.
And the story as I remember it and filled in for me if I'm
wrong, is that he did not acceptthat news graciously and.

(45:44):
Oh, I got to give a little filler because I had to cut this
part out. Basically, Donna used to work at
Magic Mountain. She was sold ice cream.
High school kid, first job. Ray Parker Junior, famous
musician, Ghostbusters theme came in, wanted an extra scoop
of ice cream for free. She said no, and well, the story

(46:05):
continues. True.
His ice cream at her. Chucked his ice cream.
It's sweet teenage Donna. Right right into her hair.
Yeah. Yeah.
So she has hated Ray Parker Junior ever since.
Understandable. Which is very upsetting for me
because I'm a huge fan and I do enjoy listening to his music,
but it does not sit well with the bride.

(46:27):
Wait, didn't somebody from Kiss also light her hair on?
Fire, yes, that also happened, but that wasn't anybody.
Donna's. Hair that wasn't anybody's
fault. We just happened to be sitting
like in the third row at a Kiss concert when one of Gene Simmons
sparks came off and lit her hairon fire.
Your biggest loves of your life all are intertwined.
Through air and then somebody sitting behind her started

(46:50):
beating her in the back of the head to try to put the fire out
in the seconds before she realized what was happening.
So yeah, very, very painful timeof year for Donna when
Ghostbusters start popping up a lot because it is a very bad
memory. Yeah, I wouldn't be a fan of him
either. I mean.
Right. Yeah, it's kind of it.
It soured me at least. And I don't, I don't even really

(47:11):
know Donna, you know, but. Well, but it's funny when you're
dealing with celebrities, if they're nice, you're great, but
when they're assholes, you're like, Oh my God, Get Me Out of
here, you know? So because I think when I worked
at Cafe Met on Sunset, everybodyran when Kirstie Alley came in,
everybody ran when Mark Wahlbergcame in, like, Nope, I'm cut, I

(47:34):
got to go home. Sorry, I'm out of here.
Nobody wants to deal with that. So I get it.
I. Love Kirstie Alley.
Well, she was awful in person. There's so many good ones.
You don't have to focus on the bad, but there's so many good
ones. Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
I don't know why you need to be a jerk to some kid giving you
ice cream. So yeah, I want want them to

(47:55):
break the I don't know. Like he doesn't have the money
to pay for it. Yeah, that's what I was
thinking. Yeah, and then kiss, trying to
set her on fire. Yeah, that's crazy.
You. Know being, not doing anything,
no revenge. But you know, as they say,
revenge is a dish best served cold.

(48:17):
One of my childhood heroes has passed away here.
Allie. I was a card carrying member of
the KISS army from the time I was about 12 years old.
They were my favorite band. Me and millions of other people.
Gosh, I loved Kiss, and one of the greatest thrills of my
professional career was when KISS got back together and put
the makeup back on in 1996. Their first ever reunion show

(48:40):
before the real one in Detroit was at AK Rock Weenie Roast, and
Kevin and Bean got to interview all four members of KISS in
studio at the same time. Can you imagine what my tiny
Bean was thinking when they walked in the room when I was
hanging out with all four original members of KISS?
Oh my gosh, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.
You were there. You weren't just I.

(49:01):
Was there, this was this was the90s, Yeah.
OK. So yeah, I moved away in 1999.
So everything prior to that, yeah, I was in studio.
I think this is the concert where her hair got caught on
fire. This probably would be in And of
course by mentioning KISS on theprevious one about the hair
getting caught on fire, someone from KISS died.

(49:24):
Was it Bean? Maybe not, I don't know, but you
know. Loves to ask.
Yeah, and yeah, that's all I got.
That's it. That's all it was.
No more Ali. What do you think?
It's a pretty good. Ass.
It's not a bad butt. It's not a bad ass.
I was expecting, quite frankly, more.

(49:44):
OK, well, it it was a round up podcast thing.
Well, OK, I'll take it. I'll take it, I'll take it.
Next up, Headwin with the week that was.
Press the button, my friend. Send me back into time.
Edwin, our listener, Edwin, he'sa funny man.
Edwin's funny pretty much every time.
Funny, funny man. How could this have gotten on

(50:13):
the air in 2014? Love gun.
Wow, we got some kiss going on there too during the week.
That was October 2017. Oh, wait.
Oh, Daddy, come, Becky, don't come at it.

(50:34):
Don't make them down. Exactly.
See, Christopher sent me that clip.
He watches it in the original Japanese broadcast.
What did I watch? Because he wants to know exactly
what happened. What?
Happened. What was that?
That was the Japanese call of the Otani home run.
Oh, OK. You can find all the calls of
Otani's home runs. You know, we were there when he

(50:56):
hit his thousandth home run. Wasn't that it?
That's right. Yeah.
It was a Quitters meet up. Or Quitters Teabanker meet up.
Yeah. His thousandth hit, yeah, that
was pretty cool. If you'd come down, you would
have seen the thousandth. Yeah, So we, we saw history and
we they saw history the other night.
All right, let's get back to theback to the week that was.
Sir, you had a question. How do you?

(51:17):
Feel about where we're at in 2014.
Well, I think we're in October and it's a really good time to
review the old Kevin and Bean shows.
Let's start off with Allie. She's back.
Ralph was filming Ted 2, so Hallie was sitting in yet again.
This, this could have happened on the cup of tea in a chat.
This is quintessential Allie. Hey, when I do this, who do you

(51:40):
think of? Why?
Why? That's Ben Affleck.
No, but not close. Isn't that Ben Affleck in Pearl
Harbor? In Pearl Harbor?
That was. That's a great.
It is pretty good. I was going Nancy Kerrigan.
After getting short. I'm sorry I went far back, but

(52:02):
Nancy Kerrigan both great. 45 years old today.
Yeah, that could have been on the show today.
And she said both. So she's been doing that for
years. Yeah, it's OG Ally.
Here's Ally talking about Lisa. Kevin.
Yes, you love yourself some musicals.
I understand I saw Lost the Musical.
I'm not a huge musical fan, however, you know who is?

(52:25):
Who? Lisa May goes to a lot of
theater, tons of. I see her Twitter and I think
she has the best social life. I see her Twitter and I go I
would die if I if I had her social life.
I love it she's. A.
But imagine. Quarter of the arts.
How great Lisa May must be in bed in bed if her boyfriend puts
up with going to all those stupid plays.
And he does. Great point.

(52:46):
Right. Good.
Point. I say thank you all the time.
Wow. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank.
You wow 3 * 3 times, that's goodstuff for him, OK.
Lisa, I'm just saying, I live two blocks from the La Mirada
Theater. I could go into my driveway and
see the building. So if you're tired of your
husband, come on down. I got season tickets.

(53:08):
So anyway, let's go, Lisa. She's moving to France to get
away from me, so I got to get these jokes in before she
leaves. Let's move on to something just
for Christopher. Seattle police are currently
hunting for a man caught on video pooping on his neighbors

(53:28):
lawn. We have to ask the question, was
it? No, this was me, hometown and
all. Let's be honest, Seattle man,
right? Poops on neighbor's lawn, right?
By the way, have you guys seen the the surveillance video of
this this guy? This guy kept seeing poop in his
yard and it was too big to be a dog.
And he put up a camera and saw the guy who was doing it in his

(53:50):
bushes. The guy was definitely not me.
Did the guy see Bean on that videotape?
No, he did not. It was it was not me.
This this one is definitely not me.
Here's what I'll tell you is they haven't they haven't found
them yet. So the other two stories we
actually had names of people other than being.
I believe we might need to wait this one out because I believe

(54:14):
that perhaps it was being we're going to be asking the question
every day. Was it being?
Was it being? He says no, but we still.
Have our doubts? 11 years later, we have more
poop in the news. You guys remember the fecal
transplant story? I do, yeah.

(54:37):
I don't think this was the first.
Time they've thought about. It but I love this because the
whole thing and listen to being how he describes being healthy
and looking on the bright side and I feel blessed every day to.
Be healthy. I mean that's one thing if you
can if you can stand up and walkout of bed in the OK.
So you want to know why being falls out of bed on?

(54:58):
Radiators, he stands up and walks out of bed just get out of
bed bean first of all yeah, let's pick that back up morning
if you can see if you can move your arms and.
Legs, you're ahead of a lot of people in the world.
There's a lot of bad things thatI mean, I ran into a friend of
mine yesterday. I said, hey, where are you?
But I haven't seen you. He said, well, I had intestinal
cancer. That's what he had been going
through. And he's fine.
He's doing well. But I mean, a lot of bad things

(55:20):
can happen. And there is a condition called
Clostridium difficile, and I guarantee I'm pronouncing that
wrong. And it's not uncommon, but it
causes debilitating diarrhea, which as you know, from any time
you see stories from around the world, people die every day by
the thousands of diarrhea. It will kill you if diarrhea is

(55:41):
consistent and bad. I mean, you become dehydrated
and you can't, you can't absorb any kind of nutrients.
So it's a terrible thing to havehappen to you.
It's also. It can't be much fun.
And the way it has been treated for several years now is with
something called a fecal transplant.
We've talked about these before.You ask, You have miracles.
Yeah, it's a miracle. This is where they take poop.

(56:01):
And they basically use a colonoscopy to put it in you
rather than take it out. You and you get it from usually
a relative. And now that's an awkward
conversation. Hey, how you feeling today?
Hey, Mom, can I borrow some poop?
That's what they've been doing. And it's, it's, it's no
pleasant. It's not pleasant for anybody

(56:23):
involved. It's not been a great way to
treat it. And then and then they tried
researchers at Massachusetts General Hospital.
Then they tried delivering the fecal transplant through a tube
snaked down the patient's nose and to the stomach.
Sometimes worse to me and that. For.
Many people that was worse, yeah, that was no good.
But now they're trying somethingthat they've had phenomenal

(56:43):
success with, which is the frozen poop pill.
Of course, we all saw them at the Troop, right?
That. Reminds me we the quitters never
give up cameras. Were there when Bean stood up
and walked out of bed. See, that's what happens.
See. There's the setup.

(57:03):
So Kevin's going to try to do a a joke on this whole setup on
the fecal transplant. I was at the troop last night
and I saw a fecal transplant. And they opened for
debilitating. So much better.
I couldn't have done it. Debilitating diarrhea.
Yeah. More importantly, why?
Would I try that? What's wrong with you That was

(57:24):
that the level of difficulty wasfar more than you should have
done. Really was the stage of your
career. Yeah.
I really need to pull back. Not have so much hope so close.
Missed it by that much as. Maxwell Smart would there's a
reference for you all these two.Oh my God.
That whole thing was great. What's with the poop?

(57:45):
Edwin, I couldn't. Help.
But it happened on the week I'm a.
Reporter, I told you I'm a journalist.
I I didn't have any poop at the report in.
The roundup? Well, someone's got to do it.
OK, let's go to. Something a little bit better,
Kevin went to a Kings game and he thought he saw Sarah Shahi so
he starts yelling at her Hey Shahi.

(58:05):
And he scared the poor girl to death, so they did a call in
topic. Mistaken identity.
All right, let's go to Ruby Fontana.
Line 3. Kevin, you in particular are
going to enjoy this celebrity. Hey, Ruby.
OK, so I thought I was serving. Carl Withers, you thought you
were serving your waitress. I'm a waitress, yes, and I had.

(58:28):
This older gentleman come in with his wife and I convinced
all of my Co workers I was like Oh my God I'm serving Carl
Withers we. Were singing the Ghostbusters
song from the back loud enough so he could hear and every time
we would pass we'd make Ghostbusters references.
And. Finally, at the end of this meal
I was like, this is going to bother me all day.

(58:49):
I have to ask you something. Are you Carl Withers?
And he was just like who? I was like Carl Withers, at the
risk. Of at the risk.
Of sounding like an. Idiot.
I don't think Carl Weathers was in Ghostbusters.
No. He was Apollo Creed from the
Rocky movie. Right?
So I'm really confused by what you thought you were seeing.

(59:09):
You thought it was Carl Weathersand you thought he was in a
movie that he wasn't in. I referenced the wrong movie,
yes. Were you thinking?
Of Ernie Hudson, maybe? Maybe Ruby is a female beast.
Yeah. Now, Kevin, do you have a
question about Carl Weathers that you want to ask, though?
I don't. Can you?
Can you ask him if he had a wooden hand?

(59:32):
All right, good. Let's move on.
All right, let's go to Sam on line 1 in LA.
He gets mistaken for a celebrityall the time.
Let's find out what that's like.Hey, Sam.
What's up, guys? Hi.
Our friend Sam, he's back. He moved back from Texas, you
guys. He doesn't live in Texas

(59:53):
anymore. He left.
He hung up already. He he left and we had a big
farewell. And then, yeah, we sure did.
Yeah, Sam was back. He even used his.
Real name, I guess, just in the honor of being back for the
first time. Yeah, I love that story.
Because wrong. Person wrong movie It was like

(01:00:14):
it was so Kevin esque Yes, it was wrong name wrong.
Wrong everything. Can you imagine the poor guy
he's doing? Ghostbusters references that.
She walks by, he's like Ghostbusters.
God damn wifey. That was great.
Also stand. With the Withers when they when
she called him Carl. Withers.
I thought of standing with the Withers.

(01:00:35):
Oh, I see. Oh yeah, you did text me that I
should. Have been more up on that.
Next up we have some more Kiss news.
We had news that Ace freely passed away and they were re
releasing one of their iconic albums and Bing got very excited
and love Gun. By KISS, yes, it's.

(01:00:57):
Finally, love gun. That one, we're not sure.
Give us some more. We're not sure.
We'll see if we recognize it or not.
What's what I would love Got? I love that song.
I love that album. The 6th studio album by Kiss is
finally getting some respect. That classic album is being
remastered with a bonus disc fora new two CD set that comes out
on October the 27th. Sweet.
The original album gets a properremastering on disc one, and

(01:01:20):
then demos and previously unreleased live tracks and stuff
like that will be on disc 2. Joe Elliott of Jeff Leopard
apparently broke brand new linernotes for the package because
he's such a huge fan. So I believe Love Gun was the
album that also included the Christine 16.
It was. Yeah, that's right.
I don't remember that song, though.
Yeah. How'd that go?
How did you remember Christine 16?
That one, yeah. What other songs were on?

(01:01:45):
That album do. You remember?
I'm not sure. I'm not sure that I have my
finger tips. No.
Come on. You know, you know, you're a
lifelong kiss. You're a big kiss.
I have. I love the kiss.
Give us a deeper tracks off of that Love gun.
I don't recall. I really.
I don't pull it up on your computer and then tell us, I
don't know, that I need to sit here and sing Love Gun songs all
day. I think you do A&B.

(01:02:05):
Ralph will do another story and give you time to pull it up.
And then we'll come back to you for a little kiss.
Yeah, usually. Bean won't play along but he did
like 3-3 covers so I'm waiting for the Bean cover version of
KISS. Oh man, could you imagine him in
the makeup? Spitting fireman or his

(01:02:26):
Halloween costume he has. To go as Gene Simmons, right?
Or a space that reminds me I just.
Saw that they. Opened a miniature golf course,
Kiss themed in Vegas. Christopher, we got to go check
that out. Looking very strange if you go
to I think what is the Rio they have?
A whole KISS thing there. They have like a KISS museum and
the KISS they have, they have this whole section for KISS and

(01:02:49):
nobody goes in it. It's pretty weird.
I met Gene Simmons at the Rio. You met Gene.
Simmons at the Rio, Yeah. So what does he like?
In bed, I forget when we were. There.
I think it was when I was working in radio, Sky Radio,
which we produced ads for airplanes.

(01:03:11):
I think we were just, it was thebusiness thing and he was just
in line and my boss just said, hey, Gene, nice to meet you and
no big deal. That's got to be the.
Only time Gene Simmons didn't hit on somebody.
Or hit somebody. Fun fact.
Fun. Fact.
Yeah, it was a fun. Fact.
You never know what Jen, Jen andDrew.
You never know what stories they're going to come up with.

(01:03:33):
I am surprised he didn't hit on you.
I am very. Surprised I was with a group of
people. It was literally just hi nice
to. Meet you and we're from this
company blah blah blah was it groups never stopped him I'm.
OK, go ahead. He was saving it for Lisa May.
That's why. Speaking of saving it.
For Lisa May, Jen Ding. We'll just never go.

(01:03:56):
We'll be. Back right after this important.
Message Here's a water wise garden tip from your friendly
garden. Experts at Armstrong Garden
Center save water in your gardenand reduce weeds by applying A2
to three inch layer of mulch. For more water wise garden tips
visit your neighborhood Armstrong Garden centers.
There you go, Armstrong Garden. Centers, you're still getting
plays of that commercial 11 years later.

(01:04:17):
That's what happens when you're in business with Lisa May only
good things right let's. Finish up with.
Dave Grohl, he came. On the show because his series
Sonic Highway was premiering that night.
If you're a Dave Grohl fan, go to the Friday show.
That was October 17th, 2014. He was on for like 2 segments.

(01:04:38):
Really interesting. Really interesting guy.
And here he is talking about Sonic Highway instead of just
going to my garage. And recording a record.
Let's record each song in a different studio in a different
city. Let's film it for a documentary
series where we tell the story of this, the music from each
city in the regional relevance of all these places by

(01:05:01):
interviewing all the most recognizable musicians in the
country. But then also, rather than just
kind of show up with a song, let's show up with an
instrumental. And then as I'm interviewing
these people throughout the week, the very last day of the
session, I take all the transcripts from those
interviews back to my hotel roomwith a bottle of wine.
And I lock the door and I read through those transcripts and

(01:05:23):
pick out phrases and sentences and words.
I take those. I put them on the left hand side
of my journal. On the right hand side of my
journal, I have an outline of the song.
And I fit those those phrases and sentences and words in to
make a song that will tell the story of the entire episode.
So the finale of this episode isa performance of the song where

(01:05:45):
the lyrics come up on screen andyou recognize all the lyrics
from all of the stories and interviews you've just heard.
It sounds great to us. But I if you're in the band, I
think I would say, hey, Dave, let's not make it quite so hard
on ourselves. Yeah.
Well, you know, they they kind of, they thought that, but they
didn't say they they know I'm a little nuts and that I don't

(01:06:09):
sleep and I'm a total staz and Ijust.
I try to get up to do things that nobody else would do.
But they, you know, I think theytrust me and they think like,
OK, well, if, if he thinks that we're going to be able to pull
it off, we'll probably pull it off.
So he would interview the peoplethat worked at these.
Studios and kind of turn the interviews into a song at the

(01:06:29):
end of the show. It really sounds interesting.
I have to look it up now becauseI didn't watch it at the time.
Yeah, well, I think I want to watch it like Sonic Highway.
Sonic Highway I. Think it was called Foo.
Fighters Sonic Highway. I don't know, it sounds like a
lot of work it. Does just do a recording?
You know. But there was also an album that

(01:06:51):
was Sonic. Highways as well.
So was that the music from the show on that album?
Yeah. Because like the project I.
Guess was they were gonna go to different studios all around the
country and record one song and I I guess but I guess you know
what I mean studios, the old studios mattered a lot and

(01:07:12):
that's they do matter but because they the unique sound
that they had in that studio butit's kind of real it's kind of
real in the weeds to do something like that but it was
interesting because. As he went to different areas.
Of the country they have, you know, different musical styles
and a different history. Yeah.

(01:07:33):
And it's something that I had never thought about but it.
Makes a lot of. Sense like, I think they went to
Chicago, so he was talking to the people that worked there and
they had a lot of, they all Blues musicians and stuff that
they knew. And so it's just each one was
like a different section of the country and the regional
differences really affected the music.
So I think I'm going to try to find that and listen to it.

(01:07:55):
Yeah. I wonder if he used the people
that were working. In the studio, like the
engineers and the producers fromthe area.
I think that would that would really matter a lot.
Like the album. Oh, OK.
Yeah. So I think I'm gonna check into
that. I'll get back to you.
Yeah, OK, so that is a gift for the week that was Ralph.
What do you think about playing old clips?

(01:08:16):
Nothing wrong with that. I don't think there's anything
wrong with that, Ally. What do you think about me
playing old clips? It's no Bridget Jones Dyer.
It's no Bridget Jones, Dyer. Edge of Reason.
Yeah, it's no hope floats. Well, I didn't say it was, but
we. Still have fun listening.
To these old clips. That's it.
Back to you, Steve. It it kind of is more like Hope

(01:08:38):
floats I think. Because in Hope Floats there's
that scene where the little girlwas crying really ugly.
All your words references that that makes.
Makes it like that. Right.
All right, Jen, say bye or no. No, no, no.
Drew. Drew, you haven't been here in a
while. Drew.
Yeah. How'd you do it?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, Jen.Jen does it.
It can't break tradition. Oh, by the way, Lindsay's on

(01:09:00):
assignment. Good luck, Lindsay.
Hope to see you next time. Wait, she's in LA?
Right. And then she's heading to
Australia, so she'd be gone for a few weeks.
I don't know. I mean she.
Said this week. Yeah, he can do the podcast from
there. Yeah, it's gonna be like, good
day mate. I'll put another shrimp on the

(01:09:20):
Bobby for you. Oh jeez, You can have a battle
of the Australian accents. All right, let's end this.
Primary show. All right, all.
Right, thanks for listening to Quitters Never Give.
Up podcast. It's all things Kevin and Bean
and messages. Find us on the interwebs.
We're all around. You can find us and or give us a

(01:09:43):
call and we'll call you back. We'll get back to you.
Wait a minute. We don't have a, we have a.
Phone number, yeah, no, OK. But Kevin kept staying.
In on the show. Bye everybody.
Bye everybody, goodbye. Hey, Lisa.
Hey Bean. What's?
Going on. Not much.
They're great. You are the last.
Hope of the Universe. So I really AM.

(01:10:05):
Important How I feel when I'm drunk is correct.
Yes, except the Dave Matthews Band doesn't rock penis.
Oh, come on, Lisa. That's.
The blue. That's inappropriate.
Look, you guys get hay, I get penis.

(01:10:25):
You get penis, that's when you scream.
Forget it, all right?