April 9, 2025 • 19 mins
The tug-of-war between a private instructor's individualized techniques and a team coach's system creates genuine confusion for young athletes. This tension—particularly acute for pitchers and hitters—forces kids to choose between specialized instruction they've paid for and the coach who controls their playing time.
Drawing from experience as both a Division I pitcher and youth coach, I tackle this delicate situation head-on. The reality? There is a right answer. When a general team coach without specialized expertise tries overriding the mechanics taught by a dedicated pitching or hitting instructor, it disrupts the 5,000 hours needed for skill mastery and creates unnecessary mental stress.
Consider the softball changeup example—coaches often teach just one grip to an entire team for convenience, ignoring the crucial variables of hand size, wrist movement, and physical differences that determine which grip works best for each individual athlete. This one-size-fits-all approach sacrifices quality for coaching convenience.
Parents navigating this conflict should assess three critical questions: What's your child's long-term athletic goal? Who truly knows your child's body mechanics better? Which method prioritizes individualized progress over generic instruction? The answers provide clarity on which path serves your athlete's development.
I offer practical strategies for resolving these coaching conflicts with respect and effectiveness: communicate privately with coaches rather than creating public confrontations, seek performance-based compromises, encourage your athlete to advocate for themselves, and document private training sessions. The PGM Athletic Performance Planner provides an excellent tool for tracking this specialized instruction.
Remember the three C's your young athlete needs: consistency, clarity, and confidence. When we prioritize long-term development over immediate conformity, we create an environment where young athletes truly thrive—both on and off the field. Share this episode with another sports parent navigating these same challenging waters!
Order your copy of the PGM Athlete Performance Planner - www.PGMAthlete.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What happens when a private pitching instructor
teaches your young athlete onetechnique but then their team
coach insists on them actuallylearning a different technique.
We're going to explore thisvery common scenario and how it
impacts your young athlete'sdevelopment, confidence and
potentially even their playingtime.
(00:22):
Raising athletes the thingsthat causes all dads to go bald
and moms to buy minivans.
Empowering parents to helptheir kids succeed.
So this is definitely a commonscenario.
You probably have had yourchild experience it already, and
that is, your child is on ateam where their coach is
(00:42):
insisting that they play acertain way, team where their
coach is insisting that theyplay a certain way.
This really impacts mainlypitchers and then hitters and
then everyone else.
And then what happens is theirprivate instructor, though
they're teaching very specifictechniques based on that
individual, and it's confusingfor that young athlete.
It's definitely impacting theirconfidence because they're a
(01:06):
little bit confused going backand forth, and then there's some
fear involved.
Will it affect my playing timeif I abandon everything I'm
learning with my privateinstructor just to cater to what
the coach is asking me to do?
It's a good question and it'sone that we need to explore a
little bit today.
Now, the first thing is isthere a right and is there a
(01:32):
wrong?
And I'm going to say right here, confidently, I'm going to put
it out there there absolutely isa right and a wrong way when it
comes to this particularscenario with, I'll put one
disclaimer, and the onedisclaimer is that when your
coach is also a very reputable,experienced private instructor,
then he's going to bring to thetable a level of expertise that
(01:53):
you can definitely trust.
Now, in other scenarios this isa much more common scenario.
Now that I'm going to talkabout is you have your child on
a team where they're not apitching, a private pitching
instructor.
It could be that they played,but maybe they were an infielder
, an outfielder, they weren't apitcher.
And you are having your childthen take private pitching
(02:16):
lessons to really refine and digdeep into his pitching
mechanics.
Well, in that scenario, what'sthe right and wrong?
Dig deep into his pitchingmechanics?
Well, in that scenario, what'sthe right and wrong?
Well, it's wrong for that coachto arrogantly force a child to
pitch a certain way based on hislevel of comfort and his
limited knowledge on thatparticular position, versus
(02:38):
deferring to the expert.
In this case, it's the privatepitching instructor who has
proven results and provenexperience in that particular
area of that particular sport.
So there is a right and a wrong.
Now, with the ever-growingpopularity of travel, sports and
(02:59):
private instruction, we areseeing this become an issue for
a lot of kids, for a lot offamilies, and but also I'm a
coach for coaches as well, andso here's how I have handled
that.
Now me myself I was a pitcher.
I was a division one fullscholarship athlete.
I played at a high level, gotto play all over the place, and
(03:22):
I also, when I was younger,received private instruction.
When I was older, in college, Ieven had opportunities to be
taught by some of the leadingpitching structures instructors,
I'll say, in the world.
In fact, one guy who actuallyspent a lot of time with me,
he's the longest standingpitching coach in the history of
(03:42):
the MLB.
So I bring a lot to the tableNow for the kids that come on my
team and that I am now coaching.
Now I have the ability to coachthem.
However, especially with newkids, I always have a
conversation my conversationnumber one with the parents and
the kid are you taking privateinstruction?
Two, who are they takingprivate instruction from?
(04:04):
And then I want to learn whattheir their instructor is
teaching them, so that now I cansort of adapt what we're doing
to what the kid has alreadylearned, because the game is
hard and also it is expensiveand I want to respect both of
those things.
Now, as someone who's got theexperience, I can definitely
(04:24):
easily adapt to something elsethat the kid has been taught and
I want to make sure we're doingthat, or else we're making it
hard for the kid.
If I'm going to teach somethingcompletely different than the
child has learned, then he'sgoing to be confused.
It's not going to benefit me asa coach.
He's not going to be able tocontribute to the team as well,
as if he's focusing we know therules here right In order to
(04:45):
become elite.
It's 5,000 hours.
If we cut into that by now, thekid has to learn something else
we're going to disrupt thatparticular process.
So we've got to be very, verycareful here.
Now let's deal with some of moreof this real life scenario and
some of the concerns thatparents have, the concerns that
I've heard a lot.
Now, this is a subject that isheated.
(05:07):
You go online, you go intoFacebook groups people are
heated right now.
And private coaches they'reworried about the long-term
development and risk of badhabits Ready.
That's valid.
That is a valid concern thatthese people have, because
private instructors are dealingwith the individual versus
(05:29):
trying to teach to the masses.
So it's not a pitch, especiallypitching, it's not a one size
fits all thing you have to beable to teach to the young
athlete.
Private instructors are able todo that really, really well, so
their concern is valid here.
Second concern is that the teamcoach is focused on system
(05:50):
consistency.
So here's a great example Insoftball, now also a little bit
in baseball, but in softballthere's several different ways
that you can teach a pitcher howto grip and throw a changeup.
What a lot of coaches will do.
They will learn one or theywere taught one, and so that's
(06:13):
easier for the coach and easiermaybe the things for the kids.
He insists on all of the girlslearning this one particular
type of changeup.
The problem with this it's nota one size fits all Learning
different change up grips forsoftball pitchers.
There's a lot of variablesinvolved.
How tall is the pitcher?
How large are their hands?
(06:35):
Are they able to actuallycontrol the different types of
grips?
Do they have a naturalpronation of the wrist, like
there's so many complicatedvariables when it comes to what
change up grip a softballpitcher could have For a coach
to say we're all learning onemeans you don't understand all
of that stuff and you're willingto compromise quality for
(06:59):
convenience, and that's not goodfor the kids and that's also
not good for the team.
Now, another concern that peoplehave is that players.
They feel pressure and theyfeel confused.
I've seen girls come on my teamwhere they've experienced that
before and it's about peoplepleasers and they're like oh,
(07:21):
whatever it is that you guys areteaching, I'll just do that.
I don't think that's the rightapproach.
I want to get to know theathlete.
I want to know what's good forthem, what they've learned, how
they've learned, what are theirstrengths then, what are their
weaknesses, and then we candetermine in the case of the
change up, are you throwing thatchange up really, really well
that you were taught in the past?
Well, guess what?
We're going to stick with it,because are you comfortable and
(07:44):
confident?
If they say yes, guess what?
Then that's the one we're gonnastick with.
It's my job not to force ourchild to do something that
they're not comfortable with.
Simply, that's just my level ofknowledge.
It's about adapting to thechild, to the athlete,
understanding strengths andweaknesses.
I remember that my calculusteacher when I was in high
(08:07):
school her name was Mrs Bowlingawesome teacher.
She's famous for this one line.
Anyone who ever took her class.
She said the same thing aboutmath, which can be hard, but she
did say there's more than oneway to get the cow into the barn
.
That simply means there's morethan one way of doing it.
So your only one way ofthrowing a change up.
(08:27):
That's not the only way.
There's more than one way ofdoing it.
So you're only one way ofthrowing a change up.
That's not the only way.
There's lots of differentthings.
And again, like I said before,you got to be able to be
educated and understand thatchild, to know what's best for
them.
This is where, again, privateinstructors, in my opinion, take
precedence over the coach'sopinion about pitching mechanics
(08:47):
.
You know, if you're a coach andyou're listening and you're mad
at me right now, I need you tojust let what I said digest a
little bit.
The pitching instructors aredealing with an individual
athlete.
Coaches you're dealing withjust the entire team and you're
trying to force consistencywithin a system that doesn't
(09:08):
help an individual, because allkids are different, their
abilities are different, theirphysiques are different and we
need to be able to adapt to thatindividual to get the most out
of that particular young athlete.
Now let's think about what'sreally at stake here.
Ultimately, this conversationand in some of the Facebook
(09:29):
groups the arguments reallyboils down to what's at stake.
Now here's the keyconsiderations here.
Number one confidence andmental stress on the athlete.
Two risk of injury orinconsistency by constantly
switching between mechanics.
Three short-term playing timeversus long-term development.
(09:54):
And four potential to lose thetrust in both the coaches trust
in and from that young athlete.
Now here's a few questions thatI'm gonna arm parents with that
parents can be asking themselvesto help them navigate this
(10:17):
particular scenario.
The first great question andyou can write this down for
future reference, that these arequestions parents can be asking
themselves is what's theathlete's long-term goal?
It's important to understandwhat that long-term goal is, be
(10:37):
self-aware to create an honestgoal, because then you can run
these scenarios through thefilter of that goal and ask
yourself does this help my childfulfill his ultimate goal?
Second question who knows yourathlete's body and style better?
This is a big one.
So you got this scenario thecoach is telling you one thing,
(11:00):
the private instructor istelling you another.
Use discretion here.
Right?
You know your child really well.
You're at their lessons, you'reat their practices with their
coach, you're at the gamesYou've observed.
You know these individualspretty well.
You need to be honest In youropinion.
Who knows your child's body andstyle better?
(11:21):
Is it the private instructor oris it the coach?
That should be a factor here.
The last question that I suggestyou ask yourself is which
method is based onindividualized progress and
science versus genericinstruction?
Now, we already covered thatparticular topic, but that's a
(11:43):
really important one.
So always just think throughthose three questions.
That'll help you navigate thatscenario to determine what's
best for your young athlete.
So what are the next steps?
What are the next action stepsfor parents and for these young
athletes?
Well, first is navigating theconflict.
It's one thing to identify,it's one thing for you to
(12:05):
understand.
All right, I've made a decisionwhat's best for my kid but how
do you navigate the conflict now?
Well, here's the first thing Irecommend.
Communication is key.
Meet with the team coachprivately and discuss the
concerns.
I would not create a publicdisplay because you're going to
be putting the coach in anuncomfortable position where
(12:28):
he's now going to defend hisauthority.
You have to pull him asideprivately and just have an
honest discussion to find commonground.
There's a healthy compromisethat benefits everyone involved
the team and the individual.
Ask your child if, ask if thisis asking the coach, ask if your
(12:52):
child can stick with privatemechanics as long as she
performs.
That sounds like a healthycompromise to me.
Three, you can advocate for yourchild respectfully.
I'm going to emphasizerespectfully.
I'm going to emphasizerespectfully.
Let the team coach know thatyou value consistency, you value
(13:18):
long-term growth, youappreciate what they're doing
and the investment that they'vemade into their child.
Let them know that you are infact advocating for them.
Four, let the players speak.
Oftentimes I see kids notadvocating for themselves and
parents are the only voice fortheir child.
Encourage confidence, encourageleadership.
(13:39):
Encourage them to step outsideof their comfort zone and share
their concerns and share theirquestions with their coaches.
That only benefits themlong-term and helps them to
develop really importantqualities as individuals.
Lastly, stay aligned with theprivate coach.
(13:59):
Make sure private training isdocumented videos, notes, all
these conversations.
It's so important that you dothat.
The best way of documenting allthese things.
Honestly, get yourself the pgmathletic Performance Planner.
I actually have one, look righthere.
(14:20):
Get yourself the PGM AthletePlanner, right here.
This is perfect and it'sdesigned for that very thing.
One of the advantages of thisis not just for the benefit of
the child's growth that they canrefer to this, but now you've
got actual proof and evidence ofwhat your child's doing.
Because, number one, somecoaches don't believe that kids
(14:42):
are taking private lessons.
Number two, let's be honest,some coaches don't know
everything.
In fact, I'm going to argue I'mtrying to be nice about it All
coaches don't know everything.
Coaches know something, right,but by documenting everything in
your book, you get to documentwhat drills are doing, what
(15:05):
specific elements of themechanics of your child's
athletic development is yourprivate instructor working on.
You've got details that now thecoach can what Use as reference
, because maybe the childdoesn't understand.
Let's go back to that example Igave about the change up.
This has happened quite often.
I'll ask the kids when I get tothe question of what other
(15:26):
pitches they throw.
I ask them okay, I say, what'schange up?
A lot of the kids they don'tknow the names of the change up,
they just show me.
So what would be great if theyhad this.
We can refer back to the notesto find out what changeup
they're working on, what drillsthey're doing right now to help
them develop that particularchangeup.
(15:47):
That's awesome stuff.
Now, once you have information,what happens?
Everyone's aligned.
The private instructor isaligned with the coach because
of the information that is athand.
Honestly, I cannot recommend itany more than that.
Lastly, let's tackle some mythbusters.
(16:08):
This is one of my favoriteparts of the show.
We're going to be myth bustingas it relates to this particular
topic.
So common myths all greatpitchers throw the same.
That is a big fat, and that isnot true at all.
All you have to do is watch onegame to see the opposing
(16:28):
pitchers and realizing holy cow,they're completely different.
The second myth the team coachalways knows what's best.
That is not true.
The team coach I'm notundermining you guys.
You guys know a lot, you'reinvested into that particular
community and that's awesome,but no one individual actually
(16:52):
knows everything.
I think we need to be confidentbut also have enough humility
to understand that we don't knoweverything and it's okay to
defer to the experts.
The next myth is changing yourstyle to match the team is just
part of being coachable.
Now coaches would say oh yeah,that's truth.
(17:14):
That is a myth.
That is not true at all.
That's not the definition ofbeing coachable.
Another myth as long as she'spitching well, mechanics don't
matter.
Please tell me that.
Everyone knows that.
That is a big fat.
That is a myth.
That is not true.
(17:35):
Just because someone hasdisplayed some level of result,
even though they're doingeverything wrong, doesn't mean
that it's okay.
So I think it's important forus to understand what these
myths are, understand thecorrect way.
All of us align, put arroganceaside and realizing we're all
doing this for the best interestof our kids, both today and
(17:59):
tomorrow.
And if we're doing that andthat's our goals as parents and
as coaches, well then we need tobe a little bit more aligned
with everyone that's part ofthat village to raise that child
to be such a successfulindividual, both on and off the
field.
Here's some final thoughts thatI want to leave you with you
(18:20):
guys.
Key points Long-termdevelopment should always take
priority over immediateconformity.
Two athletes need consistency.
They need clarity.
They need confidence.
It's the three C's.
They need confidence.
It's the three C's.
(18:40):
Four parents play a vital rolein advocating for their
athlete's best interest.
We all have big dreams for ourkids, but we have to make sure
that they're realistic, that thekids are on board with it and
it'll benefit them when theirplaying is done, because what we
do on the field is supposed toalso help them off the field.
(19:04):
Guys, thanks so much for tuningin to this week's episode of
Raising Athletes.
We are in this together, we'rein the trenches together.
We're doing this together.
People, we can do it.
The tide rises for all ships.
I'm looking forward to buildingthis community with you guys.
So do me a favor Share thiswith someone that you know who's
also raising an athlete.
(19:26):
That would benefit from thisparticular community.
Take care, guys.
What happens when a private pitching instructor
teaches your young athlete onetechnique but then their team
coach insists on them actuallylearning a different technique.
We're going to explore thisvery common scenario and how it
impacts your young athlete'sdevelopment, confidence and
potentially even their playingtime.
(00:22):
Raising athletes the thingsthat causes all dads to go bald
and moms to buy minivans.
Empowering parents to helptheir kids succeed.
So this is definitely a commonscenario.
You probably have had yourchild experience it already, and
that is, your child is on ateam where their coach is
(00:42):
insisting that they play acertain way, team where their
coach is insisting that theyplay a certain way.
This really impacts mainlypitchers and then hitters and
then everyone else.
And then what happens is theirprivate instructor, though
they're teaching very specifictechniques based on that
individual, and it's confusingfor that young athlete.
It's definitely impacting theirconfidence because they're a
(01:06):
little bit confused going backand forth, and then there's some
fear involved.
Will it affect my playing timeif I abandon everything I'm
learning with my privateinstructor just to cater to what
the coach is asking me to do?
It's a good question and it'sone that we need to explore a
little bit today.
Now, the first thing is isthere a right and is there a
(01:32):
wrong?
And I'm going to say right here, confidently, I'm going to put
it out there there absolutely isa right and a wrong way when it
comes to this particularscenario with, I'll put one
disclaimer, and the onedisclaimer is that when your
coach is also a very reputable,experienced private instructor,
then he's going to bring to thetable a level of expertise that
(01:53):
you can definitely trust.
Now, in other scenarios this isa much more common scenario.
Now that I'm going to talkabout is you have your child on
a team where they're not apitching, a private pitching
instructor.
It could be that they played,but maybe they were an infielder
, an outfielder, they weren't apitcher.
And you are having your childthen take private pitching
(02:16):
lessons to really refine and digdeep into his pitching
mechanics.
Well, in that scenario, what'sthe right and wrong?
Dig deep into his pitchingmechanics?
Well, in that scenario, what'sthe right and wrong?
Well, it's wrong for that coachto arrogantly force a child to
pitch a certain way based on hislevel of comfort and his
limited knowledge on thatparticular position, versus
(02:38):
deferring to the expert.
In this case, it's the privatepitching instructor who has
proven results and provenexperience in that particular
area of that particular sport.
So there is a right and a wrong.
Now, with the ever-growingpopularity of travel, sports and
(02:59):
private instruction, we areseeing this become an issue for
a lot of kids, for a lot offamilies, and but also I'm a
coach for coaches as well, andso here's how I have handled
that.
Now me myself I was a pitcher.
I was a division one fullscholarship athlete.
I played at a high level, gotto play all over the place, and
(03:22):
I also, when I was younger,received private instruction.
When I was older, in college, Ieven had opportunities to be
taught by some of the leadingpitching structures instructors,
I'll say, in the world.
In fact, one guy who actuallyspent a lot of time with me,
he's the longest standingpitching coach in the history of
(03:42):
the MLB.
So I bring a lot to the tableNow for the kids that come on my
team and that I am now coaching.
Now I have the ability to coachthem.
However, especially with newkids, I always have a
conversation my conversationnumber one with the parents and
the kid are you taking privateinstruction?
Two, who are they takingprivate instruction from?
(04:04):
And then I want to learn whattheir their instructor is
teaching them, so that now I cansort of adapt what we're doing
to what the kid has alreadylearned, because the game is
hard and also it is expensiveand I want to respect both of
those things.
Now, as someone who's got theexperience, I can definitely
(04:24):
easily adapt to something elsethat the kid has been taught and
I want to make sure we're doingthat, or else we're making it
hard for the kid.
If I'm going to teach somethingcompletely different than the
child has learned, then he'sgoing to be confused.
It's not going to benefit me asa coach.
He's not going to be able tocontribute to the team as well,
as if he's focusing we know therules here right In order to
(04:45):
become elite.
It's 5,000 hours.
If we cut into that by now, thekid has to learn something else
we're going to disrupt thatparticular process.
So we've got to be very, verycareful here.
Now let's deal with some of moreof this real life scenario and
some of the concerns thatparents have, the concerns that
I've heard a lot.
Now, this is a subject that isheated.
(05:07):
You go online, you go intoFacebook groups people are
heated right now.
And private coaches they'reworried about the long-term
development and risk of badhabits Ready.
That's valid.
That is a valid concern thatthese people have, because
private instructors are dealingwith the individual versus
(05:29):
trying to teach to the masses.
So it's not a pitch, especiallypitching, it's not a one size
fits all thing you have to beable to teach to the young
athlete.
Private instructors are able todo that really, really well, so
their concern is valid here.
Second concern is that the teamcoach is focused on system
(05:50):
consistency.
So here's a great example Insoftball, now also a little bit
in baseball, but in softballthere's several different ways
that you can teach a pitcher howto grip and throw a changeup.
What a lot of coaches will do.
They will learn one or theywere taught one, and so that's
(06:13):
easier for the coach and easiermaybe the things for the kids.
He insists on all of the girlslearning this one particular
type of changeup.
The problem with this it's nota one size fits all Learning
different change up grips forsoftball pitchers.
There's a lot of variablesinvolved.
How tall is the pitcher?
How large are their hands?
(06:35):
Are they able to actuallycontrol the different types of
grips?
Do they have a naturalpronation of the wrist, like
there's so many complicatedvariables when it comes to what
change up grip a softballpitcher could have For a coach
to say we're all learning onemeans you don't understand all
of that stuff and you're willingto compromise quality for
(06:59):
convenience, and that's not goodfor the kids and that's also
not good for the team.
Now, another concern that peoplehave is that players.
They feel pressure and theyfeel confused.
I've seen girls come on my teamwhere they've experienced that
before and it's about peoplepleasers and they're like oh,
(07:21):
whatever it is that you guys areteaching, I'll just do that.
I don't think that's the rightapproach.
I want to get to know theathlete.
I want to know what's good forthem, what they've learned, how
they've learned, what are theirstrengths then, what are their
weaknesses, and then we candetermine in the case of the
change up, are you throwing thatchange up really, really well
that you were taught in the past?
Well, guess what?
We're going to stick with it,because are you comfortable and
(07:44):
confident?
If they say yes, guess what?
Then that's the one we're gonnastick with.
It's my job not to force ourchild to do something that
they're not comfortable with.
Simply, that's just my level ofknowledge.
It's about adapting to thechild, to the athlete,
understanding strengths andweaknesses.
I remember that my calculusteacher when I was in high
(08:07):
school her name was Mrs Bowlingawesome teacher.
She's famous for this one line.
Anyone who ever took her class.
She said the same thing aboutmath, which can be hard, but she
did say there's more than oneway to get the cow into the barn
.
That simply means there's morethan one way of doing it.
So your only one way ofthrowing a change up.
(08:27):
That's not the only way.
There's more than one way ofdoing it.
So you're only one way ofthrowing a change up.
That's not the only way.
There's lots of differentthings.
And again, like I said before,you got to be able to be
educated and understand thatchild, to know what's best for
them.
This is where, again, privateinstructors, in my opinion, take
precedence over the coach'sopinion about pitching mechanics
(08:47):
.
You know, if you're a coach andyou're listening and you're mad
at me right now, I need you tojust let what I said digest a
little bit.
The pitching instructors aredealing with an individual
athlete.
Coaches you're dealing withjust the entire team and you're
trying to force consistencywithin a system that doesn't
(09:08):
help an individual, because allkids are different, their
abilities are different, theirphysiques are different and we
need to be able to adapt to thatindividual to get the most out
of that particular young athlete.
Now let's think about what'sreally at stake here.
Ultimately, this conversationand in some of the Facebook
(09:29):
groups the arguments reallyboils down to what's at stake.
Now here's the keyconsiderations here.
Number one confidence andmental stress on the athlete.
Two risk of injury orinconsistency by constantly
switching between mechanics.
Three short-term playing timeversus long-term development.
(09:54):
And four potential to lose thetrust in both the coaches trust
in and from that young athlete.
Now here's a few questions thatI'm gonna arm parents with that
parents can be asking themselvesto help them navigate this
(10:17):
particular scenario.
The first great question andyou can write this down for
future reference, that these arequestions parents can be asking
themselves is what's theathlete's long-term goal?
It's important to understandwhat that long-term goal is, be
(10:37):
self-aware to create an honestgoal, because then you can run
these scenarios through thefilter of that goal and ask
yourself does this help my childfulfill his ultimate goal?
Second question who knows yourathlete's body and style better?
This is a big one.
So you got this scenario thecoach is telling you one thing,
(11:00):
the private instructor istelling you another.
Use discretion here.
Right?
You know your child really well.
You're at their lessons, you'reat their practices with their
coach, you're at the gamesYou've observed.
You know these individualspretty well.
You need to be honest In youropinion.
Who knows your child's body andstyle better?
(11:21):
Is it the private instructor oris it the coach?
That should be a factor here.
The last question that I suggestyou ask yourself is which
method is based onindividualized progress and
science versus genericinstruction?
Now, we already covered thatparticular topic, but that's a
(11:43):
really important one.
So always just think throughthose three questions.
That'll help you navigate thatscenario to determine what's
best for your young athlete.
So what are the next steps?
What are the next action stepsfor parents and for these young
athletes?
Well, first is navigating theconflict.
It's one thing to identify,it's one thing for you to
(12:05):
understand.
All right, I've made a decisionwhat's best for my kid but how
do you navigate the conflict now?
Well, here's the first thing Irecommend.
Communication is key.
Meet with the team coachprivately and discuss the
concerns.
I would not create a publicdisplay because you're going to
be putting the coach in anuncomfortable position where
(12:28):
he's now going to defend hisauthority.
You have to pull him asideprivately and just have an
honest discussion to find commonground.
There's a healthy compromisethat benefits everyone involved
the team and the individual.
Ask your child if, ask if thisis asking the coach, ask if your
(12:52):
child can stick with privatemechanics as long as she
performs.
That sounds like a healthycompromise to me.
Three, you can advocate for yourchild respectfully.
I'm going to emphasizerespectfully.
I'm going to emphasizerespectfully.
Let the team coach know thatyou value consistency, you value
(13:18):
long-term growth, youappreciate what they're doing
and the investment that they'vemade into their child.
Let them know that you are infact advocating for them.
Four, let the players speak.
Oftentimes I see kids notadvocating for themselves and
parents are the only voice fortheir child.
Encourage confidence, encourageleadership.
(13:39):
Encourage them to step outsideof their comfort zone and share
their concerns and share theirquestions with their coaches.
That only benefits themlong-term and helps them to
develop really importantqualities as individuals.
Lastly, stay aligned with theprivate coach.
(13:59):
Make sure private training isdocumented videos, notes, all
these conversations.
It's so important that you dothat.
The best way of documenting allthese things.
Honestly, get yourself the pgmathletic Performance Planner.
I actually have one, look righthere.
(14:20):
Get yourself the PGM AthletePlanner, right here.
This is perfect and it'sdesigned for that very thing.
One of the advantages of thisis not just for the benefit of
the child's growth that they canrefer to this, but now you've
got actual proof and evidence ofwhat your child's doing.
Because, number one, somecoaches don't believe that kids
(14:42):
are taking private lessons.
Number two, let's be honest,some coaches don't know
everything.
In fact, I'm going to argue I'mtrying to be nice about it All
coaches don't know everything.
Coaches know something, right,but by documenting everything in
your book, you get to documentwhat drills are doing, what
(15:05):
specific elements of themechanics of your child's
athletic development is yourprivate instructor working on.
You've got details that now thecoach can what Use as reference
, because maybe the childdoesn't understand.
Let's go back to that example Igave about the change up.
This has happened quite often.
I'll ask the kids when I get tothe question of what other
(15:26):
pitches they throw.
I ask them okay, I say, what'schange up?
A lot of the kids they don'tknow the names of the change up,
they just show me.
So what would be great if theyhad this.
We can refer back to the notesto find out what changeup
they're working on, what drillsthey're doing right now to help
them develop that particularchangeup.
(15:47):
That's awesome stuff.
Now, once you have information,what happens?
Everyone's aligned.
The private instructor isaligned with the coach because
of the information that is athand.
Honestly, I cannot recommend itany more than that.
Lastly, let's tackle some mythbusters.
(16:08):
This is one of my favoriteparts of the show.
We're going to be myth bustingas it relates to this particular
topic.
So common myths all greatpitchers throw the same.
That is a big fat, and that isnot true at all.
All you have to do is watch onegame to see the opposing
(16:28):
pitchers and realizing holy cow,they're completely different.
The second myth the team coachalways knows what's best.
That is not true.
The team coach I'm notundermining you guys.
You guys know a lot, you'reinvested into that particular
community and that's awesome,but no one individual actually
(16:52):
knows everything.
I think we need to be confidentbut also have enough humility
to understand that we don't knoweverything and it's okay to
defer to the experts.
The next myth is changing yourstyle to match the team is just
part of being coachable.
Now coaches would say oh yeah,that's truth.
(17:14):
That is a myth.
That is not true at all.
That's not the definition ofbeing coachable.
Another myth as long as she'spitching well, mechanics don't
matter.
Please tell me that.
Everyone knows that.
That is a big fat.
That is a myth.
That is not true.
(17:35):
Just because someone hasdisplayed some level of result,
even though they're doingeverything wrong, doesn't mean
that it's okay.
So I think it's important forus to understand what these
myths are, understand thecorrect way.
All of us align, put arroganceaside and realizing we're all
doing this for the best interestof our kids, both today and
(17:59):
tomorrow.
And if we're doing that andthat's our goals as parents and
as coaches, well then we need tobe a little bit more aligned
with everyone that's part ofthat village to raise that child
to be such a successfulindividual, both on and off the
field.
Here's some final thoughts thatI want to leave you with you
(18:20):
guys.
Key points Long-termdevelopment should always take
priority over immediateconformity.
Two athletes need consistency.
They need clarity.
They need confidence.
It's the three C's.
They need confidence.
It's the three C's.
(18:40):
Four parents play a vital rolein advocating for their
athlete's best interest.
We all have big dreams for ourkids, but we have to make sure
that they're realistic, that thekids are on board with it and
it'll benefit them when theirplaying is done, because what we
do on the field is supposed toalso help them off the field.
(19:04):
Guys, thanks so much for tuningin to this week's episode of
Raising Athletes.
We are in this together, we'rein the trenches together.
We're doing this together.
People, we can do it.
The tide rises for all ships.
I'm looking forward to buildingthis community with you guys.
So do me a favor Share thiswith someone that you know who's
also raising an athlete.
(19:26):
That would benefit from thisparticular community.
Take care, guys.
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