March 16, 2026 • 22 mins
A client looks at you and says, “Chris, just take care of it.” Sounds simple until the “it” is a medical crisis, an estate plan that can’t wait, a $130,000 hospital bill that should have been covered by insurance, and a sudden decline that forces real decisions in real time.
We share the full story of Hugh Breeze, a client I meet in 2004 who wants a straightforward path into retirement and the freedom to live life without a lot of noise. Over nearly two decades, our relationship grows into something deeper than investment management. It becomes the kind of long-term financial planning that includes retirement income planning, smart coordination with an estate planning attorney, and the hard boundaries every ethical financial advisor must keep around power of attorney and healthcare decision-making.
Once an accident and illness enter the picture, the work shifts fast: verifying insurance coverage, correcting hospital billing mistakes, dealing with opportunistic claims, and tackling the unglamorous logistics that can derail everything like replacing a Social Security card, ordering a birth certificate, and getting valid ID. We also talk about rehab oversight, companion care, what hospice training teaches you about the final stage of life, and what it means to support someone with dignity when the end is closer than anyone wants to admit.
If you care about grief and money, caregiving and planning, or how a Certified Financial Transitionist® can guide families through life’s hardest transitions, this story will stay with you.
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:03):
Welcome to Real Talk with Life After Grief Chris,
where we talk about relevantissues as it relates to
individuals in grief as theynavigate finances and the
advisors who help them.
We help clients in griefnavigate financial matters.
We also teach advisors how toemotionally and financially work
with clients in grief through anunparalleled process.
(00:24):
This week's podcast is sponsoredby Life After Grief Financial
Planning and Life After GriefConsulting.
SPEAKER_01 (00:33):
Hello and welcome back to another episode of Real
Talk with Life After GriefChris.
The title of this episode iscalled Hugh Breeze.
As life would have it, I've gonethrough the complete progression
of having a client with regardto their life's cycle,
financially and otherwise.
(00:54):
I'm going to share a story withyou.
Again, the title is Hugh Breeze.
It's the nickname for a clientthat I was introduced to in
2004.
And his first name was Hugh, nothis last name.
He was just like a cool breeze,and I nicknamed his last name.
(01:15):
Met him in 2004, and he hadabout a year or two before he
was even really entertainingretirement.
So I met him, and it was prettysimple.
He was already financiallyresponsible, but he didn't know
how to enter into or prepareformally for retirement and
(01:35):
insert me.
We met at a good time, and Iintroduced him to a plan to get
him into retirement.
I believe it was 2006.
And so we got into retirement,and Hugh Brees, all he cared
about was a magic number andbasically doing what he wanted
(01:58):
to do in retirement.
And that was really ourrelationship.
So I got him into retirement andhe purchased his first home
around the same time he wentinto retirement.
That's kind of ironic, and it'snot something that you
necessarily do and or recommend.
However, in his situation, hewas paying more in rent than he
(02:20):
would have been paying for amortgage.
And it made sense.
He also had the ability to payoff his condo in cash.
So shortly thereafter, he gottired of making payments and
paid it off in cash.
And so enter Hugh intoretirement 2006 or so, and he
(02:42):
and I had a very goodrelationship.
He was single, no children, andwas married 20 years prior.
So insert myself.
Imagine if I were in my 60s, hadno kids, and hadn't been refined
(03:03):
by a lady, and that was Hugh.
And I appreciate everythingabout Mr.
Hugh.
And so during the iteration ofme leaving Bank of America and
then going to a bank called MIBank and transitioned to Beam
O'Harris, and then I eventuallywent to Sun Trust, and then I
(03:27):
eventually started my owncompany in 2017.
Hugh followed me through all ofthose iterations, and our
relationship really took off, Iwould say.
I mean, we had a very goodrelationship, but it took off
when I started my own companybecause I could spend more time
with him and I could do more forhim.
(03:48):
Meaning I could do more in termsof the financial aspect, and I
wasn't bound by a company.
So our relationship in 2017,when I started my own company,
it basically became me going tohis house once or twice a month,
us just sitting down, reallyjust rapping, having coffee, and
(04:12):
having snacks.
And I was also able to bring myboys and introduce them to Mr.
Hugh as well.
And I was also able to introduceAnne-Marie to Mr.
Hugh during that kind of timeframe.
So he enjoyed a very goodretirement.
And anytime that he neededanything, or I'd make a
(04:34):
recommendation, he would justsay, Chris, just take care of
it.
That was his magic line.
Chris, just take care of it.
And the story that I'm going toreally share with you is the
epitome of what I do.
And I didn't realize this untilhe passed away.
Hugh and I were talking, and Imade the recommendation of an
estate plan.
And the again put Chris Dale nothaving anyone else really to be
(05:02):
accountable for and not reallycaring where the assets go to.
And initially on the first run,it was a decline.
I don't really care about any ofthat.
And then I have this sense thatkind of goes off because of my
experience, especially with myparents, that I am going to be
the person ultimatelyresponsible if something gets
(05:26):
out of bounds here.
Meaning, if Hugh were in asituation where he needed his
own money and I couldn't givehim his own money.
Because I am not his power ofattorney, nor can I be, or do I
want to.
It's a conflict of interest.
I can't be his healthcaresurrogate for the same reasons.
And I had a conversation withhim and I said, these are my
concerns.
(05:46):
If something happens to you, Ican't give you your own money if
you're not able to tell me.
So I was going back and forth.
I was really racking my brain tofind something that was amenable
to what he really wanted, buteasy.
And then I just came to theconclusion, I already have a
really good estate planningattorney that I have used for
(06:10):
some of these instances beforeat a really high level.
And so I introduced him to anestate planning attorney.
And of course, like I just said,Hugh just said, take care of it.
So since I knew just abouteverything about Hugh, he said,
supply her with all theinformation, and I'll just show
up so she can verify who I am,and then I'll sign paperwork.
(06:34):
And I'm doing a lot of stuffbehind the scenes with the
estate planning attorney, and heliterally does that.
He shows up so she can verifywho he is on the front end, and
he's yep, those are my wishes.
And then he shows up a secondtime to sign the paperwork.
And this was in November of 2024that this transpired.
(07:10):
And uh during that process, hisestate planning attorney had to
come in and I wouldn'tnecessarily say make decisions,
but he was deemed incapacitatedin some forms or another just
because of the accident.
And she had to come in andconverse with the hospital.
(07:31):
Timing couldn't have beenbetter.
And again, that was based on mypersonal experience.
And then in the hospital, HughBrees said, Hey, Chris, I'm
concerned that we're gonna have,and he would always say, We,
like this is our money.
And I was like, No, this is yourmoney.
I am just making sure that youare set up here financially, as
(07:51):
I take a sidebar there.
And so he had asked me, Do Ihave enough money?
And I said, Let me get with thehospital.
I know this is gonna beexpensive.
I think he was in the hospitalfor probably about 10 days or
so.
And uh so I checked with thehospital.
He had some of the bestinsurance that I've ever seen.
And as I was conversing with thehospital back and forth, they
(08:13):
said his out of pocket should beless than$2,000 for this entire
stay.
And I verified with theinsurance.
So he got out of the hospital.
I actually got him and I tookhim home.
So then, probably within 30days, he got a bill from the
hospital for about$130,000.
And he hands it over to meagain, and true form, Hugh
(08:34):
Breeze said, Chris, just takecare of it.
And he's like, it's a lot ofmoney.
And he didn't seem like he wastoo concerned.
I got on the horn with thehospital and I connected the
dots.
The hospital billed him first,is what transpired, versus
billing his insurance.
So about 30 days after Iintervened, he got a bill a
(08:56):
reconciled bill from thehospital for about$1,100.
So he was like, I guess you tookcare of that.
And I was like, Yeah, we tookcare of it.
And then the other thing, too,that I know is that whenever
there's an accident, there'susually another entity that is
probably out looking for money.
(09:16):
And I had that in the back of myhead.
And this accident involved noone and no personal property,
and it was verifiable through apolice report.
And sure enough, there wassomeone that came out of the
woodwork trying to claim somemoney from Mr.
Hugh Brees.
And so I intervened again, andHugh just said, Chris, just take
(09:37):
care of it.
And in true form, locatedanother attorney through his
estate planning attorney.
We got on phone calls andcollected the police report and
got Hugh on the initial run of acall, and he just went along
basically and said, Yep, Ibelieve Chris is going to take
(09:59):
care of this.
And got on a couple more calls,and he got on another call, and
it was determined that thisother entity really had no
grounds uh for trying to make aclaim.
And so it was pretty muchresolved for Mr.
Hugh Brees.
And it cost the attorney fees,but nothing more than that.
(10:19):
And so after the accident, Irealized that Mr.
Hugh was starting to decline.
And uh I was concerned that hewas going to be declining.
He had shown signs ofimprovement, but he was
declining.
And I failed to mention thatduring the process of him
getting in the accident, he losthis driver's license, basically
(10:40):
his wallet, and he lost hissocial security card.
And I was deemed with the taskof helping him get a driver's
license because he could nolonger drive, and also his
social security card.
And I had no idea how much of achore that would have been to
get, and not that he was goingto drive, actually, we were
going to get a Florida driver'slicense.
(11:01):
So we show up to the DMV andthey say you can't get a Florida
ID without a Social Securitycard.
And I said, We have a copy ofhis driver's license.
They said, Nope, can't do that.
And you also need your, Ibelieve it was a copy of his
birth certificate, which hedidn't either.
(11:22):
Actually, that was for hisSocial Security.
And so had to get the SocialSecurity card first before
getting a Florida ID.
And again, this is a process.
So we had to order his birthcertificate.
However, before ordering thebirth certificate, we had to get
a sealed file of medical recordsso we could get all this other
(11:46):
stuff.
Get his birth certificate so wecould take it to the Social
Security office, along with themedical records, we get a Social
Security card for him.
And then I could go through theprocess of getting him a Florida
ID card.
So that was a lot.
(12:08):
And in the process, and this isreally where things took a turn
for the worse, in the process ofme making an appointment for the
DMV to get him a Florida IDcard, I was online and then I
called him.
And this was like deja vu.
It's a very specific experiencethat I had.
And I've had these experiencesnow twice in my lifetime.
(12:29):
I call him and he is hard ofbreath.
And I say to him, Hugh Breeze,it sounds like you're breathing
hard and you're coughing andsounds like you need to go to
the doctor.
And he said, I'm okay.
And I said, Yeah, you'reprobably not okay.
And I said, Can you walk to acar?
And I had arranged for him tohave a service.
(12:49):
It's called GoGo Grandparent.
And it's very similar to Uber orLyft, but really for
grandparents, that they can justcall a number, they
automatically know who they are,they will build their account,
and they can just tell themwhere they're going.
And it's very simple.
He's like, I don't know if I canwalk to a car.
And I knew that he was in astate that was getting to be
(13:12):
dire.
So this is where the experiencecomes in.
I called 911.
I walked them in to how to getinto his condo and what his
symptoms were.
In 2008, in November, I did theexact same thing for my father
when he was exhibiting verysimilar symptoms.
So he went to the hospital, andit was determined that he had
(13:37):
pneumonia, he had a lot of fluidbuildup in his lungs, and he had
lung cancer.
And he didn't want to be on anyextenuating things to prolong
his life.
And I totally respect that.
And it was also determined thathe was not going to be able to
(13:59):
go back home because of hishealth.
So they were only going torelease him if he had someone at
home full-time, like a skillednurse andor to a skilled
facility, a rehab facility.
And the state planning attorney,she would verify information
with me, although I didn't makeany decisions, but she said that
(14:21):
you know him best and know hiswishes.
And I should also state thatthere was a very close personal
friend that was really like adaughter figure to Hugh Brees.
And she was in the mix too, andshe would go and check on him on
a regular basis, like every day.
So we were all kind of his team,so to speak.
(14:43):
So he's in the rehab facility,and his friend, she was very
tied emotionally to Hugh Brees,as I was, but I understand the
boundaries and what I have todo.
And she was running in and outof town and was just feeling the
pressure of not being able to bethere.
(15:03):
And so I said, why don't we justget him a companion service?
And it does a couple of things.
It relieves the emotional burdenoff of her.
And it also now puts me in aposition to where I can evaluate
the rehab facility.
And any rehab nursing facility,if there are no eyes there, my
(15:24):
opinion, and this is my opinionalone, that they're going to
take shortcuts.
And this facility was nodifferent.
It was highly rated, but it wasno different.
I go there on a Friday morningto meet the companion service.
And I had vetted three companionservices in less than 12 hours
(15:46):
the night before when I figuredout that this was a need.
Got them to meet the next day,and uh Hugh just looks at me and
he's like, Yep.
And I talked to him about it theday before, obviously, to get
his buy.
And he said, I love the idea.
I would like somebody to comeand just sit with me.
I said, okay, so the next day wehad him sign paperwork, and they
(16:06):
started on Saturday.
And they were there forfour-hour blocks every day.
And that was in addition to meand his other really close
friend that were coming in.
And so on the Sunday, Amory andI went.
Amory sat with him and he askedme to take care of a few things.
And the facility was slacking alittle bit.
(16:29):
And so I had to be verystraightforward with regard to
expectations and the things thatthey were not doing.
And the companion service wasreporting to me on a daily
basis.
So I was getting a report ofwhat was going on or wasn't
going on.
And there were some gaps fromthe time that I was there on
Friday to the time that I wasthere on Sunday and the report
(16:50):
that I got.
So after going out and speakingwith the notion manager and then
speaking with one of thehigher-ups of the facility, I
came back and Hugh saw thisexpression on my face.
And he's laughing.
And I said, Hugh, what's sofunny?
And he's like, I know that youjust took care of things and I
like seeing you work.
And I just laughed at him.
(17:10):
I shook my head.
I said, Yeah, you like seeing mework.
That's funny.
And you're making me work reallyhard.
And he just starts to laugh.
And he's like, Well, that's whatI got you for you to just take
care of things.
And fast forward a little bitmore, and his health is
declining.
He's back in the hospital, comesback, he has a slip and fall,
and he goes back to thehospital, and then he comes
(17:32):
back.
And during the process, he isdeclining, meaning that he needs
oxygen and he's starting toslow, his breathing is starting
to slow, and he's not eating asmuch.
And my hospice training, as youknow, I volunteer with hospice
on a regular basis, and I'vebeen doing this since 2017.
(17:56):
They give me a fair amount oftraining, and I understand when
someone exhibits those symptoms,they are probably going to pass
away sooner than later.
And I happen to be at aconference, and I was getting
the report again about hisbreathing slowing, and I was
saying to myself, it's justgoing to be a matter of time.
(18:17):
And it was a Wednesday, and hepassed away, and I get a call
from his attorney and said thathe has passed away.
And it was a surreal momentbecause I realized that I not
only took a client frompre-retirement, getting into
(18:37):
retirement, structuring that, hehad a 19-year retirement.
And arguably, probably the lastyear of that retirement is
really where he started to slowdown and he started having
medical things go on.
He had a great run inretirement.
(18:59):
And I had a healthy hand infacilitating that, and I felt
really good about that.
And at the conference, when Igot the call, ironically, I
talked to people about it.
I reached out to my network, andI wanted to make sure that I had
the support.
But we were doing an exercise atthe conference, and it was about
(19:23):
your expertise mission.
And I used to call it a valueproposition or what I would do.
But I I understood something nowthat really sets me apart from
other people.
I'm just going to read my newexpertise statement.
And I say it's really theepitome of what I do.
(19:44):
As someone who has personallywalked through profound loss and
trauma, I understand theemotional landscape that shapes
life's most challengingtransitions.
I help financially responsibleindividuals build life plans
that support them confidently,build toward retirement, live
through retirement, and throughthe final stages of life.
My work, rooted in my experienceas a certified financial
(20:08):
transitionist and shaped by mylived experience, guides clients
toward clarity, trust, security,and peace.
In rare moments, even in aclient's final days, I am able
to stand beside them withdignity, steadiness, trust, and
compassion, providing a level ofsupport few advisors ever have
(20:28):
the privilege to offer.
And it hit me at the conferencewhen I was writing this that
this is something that I do.
And I completely did that withMr.
Hugh Brees.
It is very rarely that I patmyself on the back, but I felt
very good about what I was ableto do for Mr.
(20:50):
Hugh Brees.
And a few of the advisors said,Is this a service that you know
you're going to carve out andoffer other people?
And I said, It is absolutely aservice that I do not want to
carve out and offer folks, butit is a service that I'm
prepared to offer my clients.
Because I can think on the flyand I can use my experience and
(21:14):
I can help people in ways thatyou can't read in a book.
And it's just through my livedexperience.
That's a little bit about HughBrees and what we went through
together and his life would haveit.
And please feel free to passthis podcast off to any friends
(21:40):
or family members.
And I'd love for you, as this isthe ramp up to my book release,
I'd love for you to be on mylaunch team, and you can see the
information in the notes.
Cheers, be well.
See you in the next episode.
SPEAKER_00 (22:00):
Thanks for listening to our podcast.
If you are a client and arelooking to work directly with
Chris andor our firm, head onover to Life After Grief FP.
That is Life After Grief FP.
The FP is for financialplanning.
If you are an advisor looking toemotionally and financially work
with your client in grief, or ifyou are a client looking to get
(22:21):
your advisor's head in the game,head on over to LifeAfter Grief
Consulting dot com.
That is LifeAfter GriefConsulting.com.
Any related informationreferenced in this week's
podcast will be located here inthe podcast section.
Welcome to Real Talk with Life After Grief Chris,
where we talk about relevantissues as it relates to
individuals in grief as theynavigate finances and the
advisors who help them.
We help clients in griefnavigate financial matters.
We also teach advisors how toemotionally and financially work
with clients in grief through anunparalleled process.
(00:24):
This week's podcast is sponsoredby Life After Grief Financial
Planning and Life After GriefConsulting.
SPEAKER_01 (00:33):
Hello and welcome back to another episode of Real
Talk with Life After GriefChris.
The title of this episode iscalled Hugh Breeze.
As life would have it, I've gonethrough the complete progression
of having a client with regardto their life's cycle,
financially and otherwise.
(00:54):
I'm going to share a story withyou.
Again, the title is Hugh Breeze.
It's the nickname for a clientthat I was introduced to in
2004.
And his first name was Hugh, nothis last name.
He was just like a cool breeze,and I nicknamed his last name.
(01:15):
Met him in 2004, and he hadabout a year or two before he
was even really entertainingretirement.
So I met him, and it was prettysimple.
He was already financiallyresponsible, but he didn't know
how to enter into or prepareformally for retirement and
(01:35):
insert me.
We met at a good time, and Iintroduced him to a plan to get
him into retirement.
I believe it was 2006.
And so we got into retirement,and Hugh Brees, all he cared
about was a magic number andbasically doing what he wanted
(01:58):
to do in retirement.
And that was really ourrelationship.
So I got him into retirement andhe purchased his first home
around the same time he wentinto retirement.
That's kind of ironic, and it'snot something that you
necessarily do and or recommend.
However, in his situation, hewas paying more in rent than he
(02:20):
would have been paying for amortgage.
And it made sense.
He also had the ability to payoff his condo in cash.
So shortly thereafter, he gottired of making payments and
paid it off in cash.
And so enter Hugh intoretirement 2006 or so, and he
(02:42):
and I had a very goodrelationship.
He was single, no children, andwas married 20 years prior.
So insert myself.
Imagine if I were in my 60s, hadno kids, and hadn't been refined
(03:03):
by a lady, and that was Hugh.
And I appreciate everythingabout Mr.
Hugh.
And so during the iteration ofme leaving Bank of America and
then going to a bank called MIBank and transitioned to Beam
O'Harris, and then I eventuallywent to Sun Trust, and then I
(03:27):
eventually started my owncompany in 2017.
Hugh followed me through all ofthose iterations, and our
relationship really took off, Iwould say.
I mean, we had a very goodrelationship, but it took off
when I started my own companybecause I could spend more time
with him and I could do more forhim.
(03:48):
Meaning I could do more in termsof the financial aspect, and I
wasn't bound by a company.
So our relationship in 2017,when I started my own company,
it basically became me going tohis house once or twice a month,
us just sitting down, reallyjust rapping, having coffee, and
(04:12):
having snacks.
And I was also able to bring myboys and introduce them to Mr.
Hugh as well.
And I was also able to introduceAnne-Marie to Mr.
Hugh during that kind of timeframe.
So he enjoyed a very goodretirement.
And anytime that he neededanything, or I'd make a
(04:34):
recommendation, he would justsay, Chris, just take care of
it.
That was his magic line.
Chris, just take care of it.
And the story that I'm going toreally share with you is the
epitome of what I do.
And I didn't realize this untilhe passed away.
Hugh and I were talking, and Imade the recommendation of an
estate plan.
And the again put Chris Dale nothaving anyone else really to be
(05:02):
accountable for and not reallycaring where the assets go to.
And initially on the first run,it was a decline.
I don't really care about any ofthat.
And then I have this sense thatkind of goes off because of my
experience, especially with myparents, that I am going to be
the person ultimatelyresponsible if something gets
(05:26):
out of bounds here.
Meaning, if Hugh were in asituation where he needed his
own money and I couldn't givehim his own money.
Because I am not his power ofattorney, nor can I be, or do I
want to.
It's a conflict of interest.
I can't be his healthcaresurrogate for the same reasons.
And I had a conversation withhim and I said, these are my
concerns.
(05:46):
If something happens to you, Ican't give you your own money if
you're not able to tell me.
So I was going back and forth.
I was really racking my brain tofind something that was amenable
to what he really wanted, buteasy.
And then I just came to theconclusion, I already have a
really good estate planningattorney that I have used for
(06:10):
some of these instances beforeat a really high level.
And so I introduced him to anestate planning attorney.
And of course, like I just said,Hugh just said, take care of it.
So since I knew just abouteverything about Hugh, he said,
supply her with all theinformation, and I'll just show
up so she can verify who I am,and then I'll sign paperwork.
(06:34):
And I'm doing a lot of stuffbehind the scenes with the
estate planning attorney, and heliterally does that.
He shows up so she can verifywho he is on the front end, and
he's yep, those are my wishes.
And then he shows up a secondtime to sign the paperwork.
And this was in November of 2024that this transpired.
(07:10):
And uh during that process, hisestate planning attorney had to
come in and I wouldn'tnecessarily say make decisions,
but he was deemed incapacitatedin some forms or another just
because of the accident.
And she had to come in andconverse with the hospital.
(07:31):
Timing couldn't have beenbetter.
And again, that was based on mypersonal experience.
And then in the hospital, HughBrees said, Hey, Chris, I'm
concerned that we're gonna have,and he would always say, We,
like this is our money.
And I was like, No, this is yourmoney.
I am just making sure that youare set up here financially, as
(07:51):
I take a sidebar there.
And so he had asked me, Do Ihave enough money?
And I said, Let me get with thehospital.
I know this is gonna beexpensive.
I think he was in the hospitalfor probably about 10 days or
so.
And uh so I checked with thehospital.
He had some of the bestinsurance that I've ever seen.
And as I was conversing with thehospital back and forth, they
(08:13):
said his out of pocket should beless than$2,000 for this entire
stay.
And I verified with theinsurance.
So he got out of the hospital.
I actually got him and I tookhim home.
So then, probably within 30days, he got a bill from the
hospital for about$130,000.
And he hands it over to meagain, and true form, Hugh
(08:34):
Breeze said, Chris, just takecare of it.
And he's like, it's a lot ofmoney.
And he didn't seem like he wastoo concerned.
I got on the horn with thehospital and I connected the
dots.
The hospital billed him first,is what transpired, versus
billing his insurance.
So about 30 days after Iintervened, he got a bill a
(08:56):
reconciled bill from thehospital for about$1,100.
So he was like, I guess you tookcare of that.
And I was like, Yeah, we tookcare of it.
And then the other thing, too,that I know is that whenever
there's an accident, there'susually another entity that is
probably out looking for money.
(09:16):
And I had that in the back of myhead.
And this accident involved noone and no personal property,
and it was verifiable through apolice report.
And sure enough, there wassomeone that came out of the
woodwork trying to claim somemoney from Mr.
Hugh Brees.
And so I intervened again, andHugh just said, Chris, just take
(09:37):
care of it.
And in true form, locatedanother attorney through his
estate planning attorney.
We got on phone calls andcollected the police report and
got Hugh on the initial run of acall, and he just went along
basically and said, Yep, Ibelieve Chris is going to take
(09:59):
care of this.
And got on a couple more calls,and he got on another call, and
it was determined that thisother entity really had no
grounds uh for trying to make aclaim.
And so it was pretty muchresolved for Mr.
Hugh Brees.
And it cost the attorney fees,but nothing more than that.
(10:19):
And so after the accident, Irealized that Mr.
Hugh was starting to decline.
And uh I was concerned that hewas going to be declining.
He had shown signs ofimprovement, but he was
declining.
And I failed to mention thatduring the process of him
getting in the accident, he losthis driver's license, basically
(10:40):
his wallet, and he lost hissocial security card.
And I was deemed with the taskof helping him get a driver's
license because he could nolonger drive, and also his
social security card.
And I had no idea how much of achore that would have been to
get, and not that he was goingto drive, actually, we were
going to get a Florida driver'slicense.
(11:01):
So we show up to the DMV andthey say you can't get a Florida
ID without a Social Securitycard.
And I said, We have a copy ofhis driver's license.
They said, Nope, can't do that.
And you also need your, Ibelieve it was a copy of his
birth certificate, which hedidn't either.
(11:22):
Actually, that was for hisSocial Security.
And so had to get the SocialSecurity card first before
getting a Florida ID.
And again, this is a process.
So we had to order his birthcertificate.
However, before ordering thebirth certificate, we had to get
a sealed file of medical recordsso we could get all this other
(11:46):
stuff.
Get his birth certificate so wecould take it to the Social
Security office, along with themedical records, we get a Social
Security card for him.
And then I could go through theprocess of getting him a Florida
ID card.
So that was a lot.
(12:08):
And in the process, and this isreally where things took a turn
for the worse, in the process ofme making an appointment for the
DMV to get him a Florida IDcard, I was online and then I
called him.
And this was like deja vu.
It's a very specific experiencethat I had.
And I've had these experiencesnow twice in my lifetime.
(12:29):
I call him and he is hard ofbreath.
And I say to him, Hugh Breeze,it sounds like you're breathing
hard and you're coughing andsounds like you need to go to
the doctor.
And he said, I'm okay.
And I said, Yeah, you'reprobably not okay.
And I said, Can you walk to acar?
And I had arranged for him tohave a service.
(12:49):
It's called GoGo Grandparent.
And it's very similar to Uber orLyft, but really for
grandparents, that they can justcall a number, they
automatically know who they are,they will build their account,
and they can just tell themwhere they're going.
And it's very simple.
He's like, I don't know if I canwalk to a car.
And I knew that he was in astate that was getting to be
(13:12):
dire.
So this is where the experiencecomes in.
I called 911.
I walked them in to how to getinto his condo and what his
symptoms were.
In 2008, in November, I did theexact same thing for my father
when he was exhibiting verysimilar symptoms.
So he went to the hospital, andit was determined that he had
(13:37):
pneumonia, he had a lot of fluidbuildup in his lungs, and he had
lung cancer.
And he didn't want to be on anyextenuating things to prolong
his life.
And I totally respect that.
And it was also determined thathe was not going to be able to
(13:59):
go back home because of hishealth.
So they were only going torelease him if he had someone at
home full-time, like a skillednurse andor to a skilled
facility, a rehab facility.
And the state planning attorney,she would verify information
with me, although I didn't makeany decisions, but she said that
(14:21):
you know him best and know hiswishes.
And I should also state thatthere was a very close personal
friend that was really like adaughter figure to Hugh Brees.
And she was in the mix too, andshe would go and check on him on
a regular basis, like every day.
So we were all kind of his team,so to speak.
(14:43):
So he's in the rehab facility,and his friend, she was very
tied emotionally to Hugh Brees,as I was, but I understand the
boundaries and what I have todo.
And she was running in and outof town and was just feeling the
pressure of not being able to bethere.
(15:03):
And so I said, why don't we justget him a companion service?
And it does a couple of things.
It relieves the emotional burdenoff of her.
And it also now puts me in aposition to where I can evaluate
the rehab facility.
And any rehab nursing facility,if there are no eyes there, my
(15:24):
opinion, and this is my opinionalone, that they're going to
take shortcuts.
And this facility was nodifferent.
It was highly rated, but it wasno different.
I go there on a Friday morningto meet the companion service.
And I had vetted three companionservices in less than 12 hours
(15:46):
the night before when I figuredout that this was a need.
Got them to meet the next day,and uh Hugh just looks at me and
he's like, Yep.
And I talked to him about it theday before, obviously, to get
his buy.
And he said, I love the idea.
I would like somebody to comeand just sit with me.
I said, okay, so the next day wehad him sign paperwork, and they
(16:06):
started on Saturday.
And they were there forfour-hour blocks every day.
And that was in addition to meand his other really close
friend that were coming in.
And so on the Sunday, Amory andI went.
Amory sat with him and he askedme to take care of a few things.
And the facility was slacking alittle bit.
(16:29):
And so I had to be verystraightforward with regard to
expectations and the things thatthey were not doing.
And the companion service wasreporting to me on a daily
basis.
So I was getting a report ofwhat was going on or wasn't
going on.
And there were some gaps fromthe time that I was there on
Friday to the time that I wasthere on Sunday and the report
(16:50):
that I got.
So after going out and speakingwith the notion manager and then
speaking with one of thehigher-ups of the facility, I
came back and Hugh saw thisexpression on my face.
And he's laughing.
And I said, Hugh, what's sofunny?
And he's like, I know that youjust took care of things and I
like seeing you work.
And I just laughed at him.
(17:10):
I shook my head.
I said, Yeah, you like seeing mework.
That's funny.
And you're making me work reallyhard.
And he just starts to laugh.
And he's like, Well, that's whatI got you for you to just take
care of things.
And fast forward a little bitmore, and his health is
declining.
He's back in the hospital, comesback, he has a slip and fall,
and he goes back to thehospital, and then he comes
(17:32):
back.
And during the process, he isdeclining, meaning that he needs
oxygen and he's starting toslow, his breathing is starting
to slow, and he's not eating asmuch.
And my hospice training, as youknow, I volunteer with hospice
on a regular basis, and I'vebeen doing this since 2017.
(17:56):
They give me a fair amount oftraining, and I understand when
someone exhibits those symptoms,they are probably going to pass
away sooner than later.
And I happen to be at aconference, and I was getting
the report again about hisbreathing slowing, and I was
saying to myself, it's justgoing to be a matter of time.
(18:17):
And it was a Wednesday, and hepassed away, and I get a call
from his attorney and said thathe has passed away.
And it was a surreal momentbecause I realized that I not
only took a client frompre-retirement, getting into
(18:37):
retirement, structuring that, hehad a 19-year retirement.
And arguably, probably the lastyear of that retirement is
really where he started to slowdown and he started having
medical things go on.
He had a great run inretirement.
(18:59):
And I had a healthy hand infacilitating that, and I felt
really good about that.
And at the conference, when Igot the call, ironically, I
talked to people about it.
I reached out to my network, andI wanted to make sure that I had
the support.
But we were doing an exercise atthe conference, and it was about
(19:23):
your expertise mission.
And I used to call it a valueproposition or what I would do.
But I I understood something nowthat really sets me apart from
other people.
I'm just going to read my newexpertise statement.
And I say it's really theepitome of what I do.
(19:44):
As someone who has personallywalked through profound loss and
trauma, I understand theemotional landscape that shapes
life's most challengingtransitions.
I help financially responsibleindividuals build life plans
that support them confidently,build toward retirement, live
through retirement, and throughthe final stages of life.
My work, rooted in my experienceas a certified financial
(20:08):
transitionist and shaped by mylived experience, guides clients
toward clarity, trust, security,and peace.
In rare moments, even in aclient's final days, I am able
to stand beside them withdignity, steadiness, trust, and
compassion, providing a level ofsupport few advisors ever have
(20:28):
the privilege to offer.
And it hit me at the conferencewhen I was writing this that
this is something that I do.
And I completely did that withMr.
Hugh Brees.
It is very rarely that I patmyself on the back, but I felt
very good about what I was ableto do for Mr.
(20:50):
Hugh Brees.
And a few of the advisors said,Is this a service that you know
you're going to carve out andoffer other people?
And I said, It is absolutely aservice that I do not want to
carve out and offer folks, butit is a service that I'm
prepared to offer my clients.
Because I can think on the flyand I can use my experience and
(21:14):
I can help people in ways thatyou can't read in a book.
And it's just through my livedexperience.
That's a little bit about HughBrees and what we went through
together and his life would haveit.
And please feel free to passthis podcast off to any friends
(21:40):
or family members.
And I'd love for you, as this isthe ramp up to my book release,
I'd love for you to be on mylaunch team, and you can see the
information in the notes.
Cheers, be well.
See you in the next episode.
SPEAKER_00 (22:00):
Thanks for listening to our podcast.
If you are a client and arelooking to work directly with
Chris andor our firm, head onover to Life After Grief FP.
That is Life After Grief FP.
The FP is for financialplanning.
If you are an advisor looking toemotionally and financially work
with your client in grief, or ifyou are a client looking to get
(22:21):
your advisor's head in the game,head on over to LifeAfter Grief
Consulting dot com.
That is LifeAfter GriefConsulting.com.
Any related informationreferenced in this week's
podcast will be located here inthe podcast section.
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