April 30, 2025 • 46 mins
Sometimes God moves in unmistakable ways. For Larry, it happened during a Saturday morning meeting when a newcomer named Blake shared his story. A warm feeling washed over him—what he calls "God's spiritual two-by-four"—and he knew instantly he needed to sponsor this man despite his previous reluctance to take on sponsees.
This powerful moment opens a deeply authentic conversation about what makes sponsorship work, fail, or transform lives. Rob and Larry explore the critical timing of recovery, using the striking metaphor of a newcomer as "an open wound"—one that will either be properly healed through working the steps with a sponsor or merely scabbed over by time, destined to crack open again.
Drawing from their years in recovery, they outline the essential elements of effective sponsorship: radical honesty, confidentiality, respect for each other's time, and allowing someone the freedom to seek guidance elsewhere if needed. They don't shy away from discussing sponsorship failures, including Larry's early missteps when his motives centered more around ego than service.
Throughout the episode, the spiritual foundation of recovery shines through. "God hits a moving target," they emphasize, explaining how prayer must be paired with action. "If you're going to worry, don't pray. If you're going to pray, don't worry." These aren't just platitudes but hard-earned wisdom from men who've experienced both sides of the sponsorship relationship.
Whether you're considering becoming a sponsor, looking for one, or simply want to understand this vital recovery relationship better, this conversation offers raw, unfiltered insights that cut through recovery clichés to the heart of what really works.
Thank You for Joining Us.. Please share with friends. If you or anyone you know is struggling with alcoholism please reach out to us. We can get you help. recoveryunfilteredpodcast@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
How about now?
We feel a man is unthinkingwhen he says sobriety is enough.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
You sit on the toilet , don't you?
No, use that as your meditation.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Not my wife, not your wife, nor anybody listening to
this podcast has eaten a shitsandwich.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
We didn't have a hand in that.
Welcome to.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Recovery Unfiltered.
I'm Larry, I'm an alcoholic.
I'm Rob, I'm also an alcoholic.
We are not professionals.
There are no letters after ournames.
We know very little, however.
Next to nothing you will hearthe word god in a four-letter
word.
Next to nothing.
I'm about ready to prove thatoffended.
So if you are easily offended,just pass us by this podcast is
not for you.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Our opinions are just that.
If you don't agree with whatwe're saying, that's okay.
We're gonna love you anyways.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
We are not in any way affiliated with aa so sit back,
grab a beverage of your choiceand get ready let's go, mr rob.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
What's up?
Brother?
Happy day, we are back.
I got a little bit ofannouncement we were supposed to
be recording.
I'm going to pull back thecurtains just for a minute.
So rob and I we record everyother sunday, right and the last
typically, sometimes typicallyright.
Sometimes we grab another dayin there because we have to,
because, like I said, I want todrop every week, no matter what
(01:04):
right.
Sometimes rob and I just comein, we put something in.
We don't throw it together.
We try not to throw anythingtogether.
Everything we do we have apurpose right.
So every once in a while robwill rob and I will grab
something on the weekends or onduring the week and but for the
most part we stay on a prettygood schedule.
About every other sunday werecord and then we drop
wednesday.
Wednesday, then record again.
Well, we had Mike and Jason onon that last episode, the last
(01:28):
41 and 42, right 40 and 41,right 41, 42.
41, 42.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Right, we're getting ready to record.
Right, right, right, we were 40.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yep, yep.
And so we towards the end of 42, we got to talking about Mike's
wife, kim, and and that well,living in men's actually let's.
We were going to bring those twoback in to finish up because we
didn't get finished, and thensomewhere in the week mike says
(01:56):
hey, well, no, that was me, I,when I went to edit that, right,
I edited that and as I waslistening to it, I'm like
because we I said something toMike about the living amends
with with his wife and you know,just the livings amends of how
to forgive yourself, and hereally started to get into that,
educate or get into thatconversation and as I was
(02:17):
listening to that, I was like,you know, the only way to finish
this story with with mike is tobring kim back in.
So we set that up and and kimagreed, well, we were going to
record to their.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
They were intent on trying to find, trying to find
the text.
As you told me, I was in themiddle of the week, right,
because our plan was to havethese guys were going to come
back for right for a third theywere.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
They were in the middle of the week.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
You texted me.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
You said, hey, kim wants to come in right and do
one because, like I said, Ireached out to Mike and I said
hey, I just got done, Becausewhen we left here that Sunday
that wasn't a plan.
But I'm telling you, which wasawesome.
God just hit me and said Kim'sgot to be, kim's got to be in
here to finish it, same way wedid with Jason when we brought
Jenny in right, it was perfect.
It was perfect.
And I, to finish this storyyeah, she did.
(03:01):
Well, I got a phone call at8.55 this morning for Mike, and
you know, sometimes I wonderabout people when they try to
back out at the last minute, butthat's not what this was.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Shingles are no joke, baby.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
He told me that he felt like you know, kim was
pretty convinced that she wascoming down with the shingles,
that you know all the signslooked at it and I said you know
what, take care of her.
You know, rob, and I, rob and Ilove sitting and chit-chatting.
Anyways, I had a couple ofthings.
I want to get caught up on acouple topics that I've been
working through myself.
So, just going to give us sometime, so we're going to record a
(03:38):
couple episodes and, um, um,hopefully, hopefully, something
sinks in, you know something,something you can work on.
But what I want to talk abouttoday is, uh, so Jason A's wife,
jenny, she decides she wantedto start her own podcast and
it's called sober sister shitshow.
And they came into my studio,or come into our studio, and, um
(03:59):
, and they recorded and thefirst one was with a girl by the
name of Christie, right, andI'm giving a little backdrop on
this because it's going to getto where I want to go and they
recorded, and the first one waswith a girl by the name of
Christy, right, and I'm giving alittle backdrop on this because
it's going to get to where Iwant to go.
So just be patient with me ordon't.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
We don't care.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Everybody says I talk too much, but this is my story
and I'm telling it.
So, when Jenny came in, shecame in with a girl by the name
of Christy, right in.
She came in with a girl by thename of christy right, and they,
they did it and they recordedand everything went great and
they were going to come backrecord again because that was
going to be her co-host.
Well, the very next time, um,they were coming back to record,
she couldn't make it because agood, very close friend of hers
(04:35):
was very, very sick and, uh, ina in a hospital room down in la
san diego area.
So, okay, she recorded withanother girl, and so on and so
forth.
Well, about two months agothere was a guy that came in to
our Saturday was it Saturdaymorning or your Thursday night
meeting.
When I went Saturday morning,well, it was Saturday morning
(04:56):
and he was just fresh.
He'd only had a couple of dayssober, fresh.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
And you want a little backstory on Christy.
Yeah, she had asked me to helpher with the steps, so I sat
down at my Thursday meeting.
We'd show up early for threeweeks me, her Susan, her sponsor
and we went through Okay, soyou co-sponsored her Basically.
Yeah, we went through the steps.
I told her.
This is how it's laid out whenyou do your fifth step, you say
it to her.
When you do your meds, you talkto her.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Okay, and then you go and I actually got some.
I got a co-sponsor thing inhere that I want to go through,
so she's on fire right now.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Yeah, she is, and I saw her yesterday.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
So he so yesterday, and actually after that meeting
a couple months back, I satthere and talked with him for a
long time.
I mean, he was fresh green andI was just trying to encourage
you.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
He just showed up to our Monday meeting for the first
time You're telling my damnstory.
You want to finish telling itmotherfucker, shut the fuck up.
Sorry, speak when you're spokento.
No, hey, I talk too much.
I apologize.
You know I speak out of turn.
I overspeak.
I'm just on the loud.
I'm sorry, larry, I apologize.
Take, if you can.
Can you pick back up where youwere?
Fuck?
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Don't lose your spot.
I gotta go back and rememberwhere my story was Fuck, Go, go
from.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
he came short.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Monday night.
So when he showed up Mondaynight I thought all right, you
know, I mean, it's not that ourMonday night some um some
miraculous event.
Well, let me, I'm going to, I'mgoing to explain that.
But our Monday night is not anAA meeting.
It's not.
We're not associated.
No, we are not.
That Monday night group is justa group of brothers that hold
each other accountable and welove and we go through the book
(06:30):
and then, well, we started withthree or four or five and we're
at 26, 27 in our meetings.
It's grown, it's a God thing, itreally is a God thing, same as
this podcast.
So he sat there and he sharedright and and, and I've said
this so many times when I seethat pain of somebody, right, it
just just intrigues me.
I don't know about intrigue, isthe right word?
Speaker 1 (06:50):
I it, it, it attracts me I don't know why pain of
somebody.
You want me to tell you why itattracts you yes same reason.
Okay, remember when old boy wassharing and you were looking at
me like the guy was new at thesaturday morning meeting and you
were looking at me like I waschomping at the bit, because
when they're in pain, there'sthat small window.
They're ready.
They're ready, theirwillingness is right there.
The most it's ever going to beto get to God and do this work.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
So Saturday morning he showed back up and in that
period of time from Monday nightto Saturday I don't know how
you and I got in thisconversation, but you said, well
, I spawned Saturday.
I don't know how you and I gotin this conversation, but you
said, well, I spawned.
He, that's Christie's, that'sChristie's boyfriend, and I'm
like, huh, okay, brings it homea little bit.
And then on a Saturday morningI saw them close.
(07:34):
They were both.
You know, the women's group wasleaving and the men's group was
coming in and I we chit chatteda little bit together, which
Christie says she wants to comeon and tell her story, which we
need to get that on, you know.
And then we got into themeeting and then Blake shared.
Now you guys have all heard mesay when I don't like to sponsor
, right, it's just not, I'vetried it.
(07:56):
It's not me, I'm a selfishprick, I don't like to give up
my time and I and I've saw andyou've already said you will
sponsor, right.
People said that, doug saidthat, everybody said that and
I've said it.
You know, if God slaps me overthe head, I will present the
opportunity, right?
Well, when I say that Godslapped me over the head.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
I'm sitting there listening to him share and I had
a warm feeling just come overmy body and just literally, I
just froze and I'm like I got tosponsor this guy, yeah, like I
gotta sponsor this guy, yeah, Igotta sponsor this guy that is,
the, that's equivalent of god'sspiritual two by four, by the
way.
Wow, I'm like.
So, I was like.
Well, there's no doubt, youknow what I mean.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
There's oh no, there was zero doubt.
There was zero doubt, I knewfor a fact right because of the
back I my interactions with himup to that point.
the night I spent with him afterthe meeting and I, we sat there
and shared and we talked backand forth for so long and then
and then so I just waited and Ieven texted you.
I was like I even told you.
(08:53):
I said I think God just hit meover the head with a two by four
.
I think I'm going to need tosponsor this kid or offer so,
and I and as we've spoke manytimes, I am not going to say can
I sponsor you?
That's just not how we do that.
Nope.
But after the meeting I toldhim I and I literally pulled him
to the side.
I said, blake, I just got totell you something.
(09:14):
You I have always said I wouldnever sponsor, but God has hit
me over the head pretty hard tosponsor you.
But I'm going to tell yousomething that doesn't mean I
should be your sponsor.
What I am going to tell you isthat your willingness right now
is wide fucking open.
I've seen it in you a couple oftimes now, that's the
(09:34):
attraction.
That's what a track.
And I'm like you are wide open,you're an open wound right now.
And I said I'm going to warnyou, if you don't, if you don't
get a sponsor and get thishappening quickly, that window
is going to slam shut and you'regoing to think everything's
hunky-dory.
And I said I don't really careif you go to Rob, pat Doug, I
(09:55):
don't care who you go to get asponsor, but you need to do it
quickly, before that willingnessstops.
And he started to say somethingelse I go, do not ask me right
now.
I want you to go home, I wantyou to pray about it and then I
want you to contact that whoeveryou want to be your sponsor.
Well, he called me about fouro'clock last night and asked me
(10:17):
if I, if I, would sponsor him.
So yes, I am going to takeanother run at this.
What are you writing down overthere?
Go and keep talking.
Well, I'm done now.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Keep talking, keep talking, god you don't shut up,
can't you spend?
Look at the signs where I'mstarting to finish no, okay,
because you had a good listen,you had a great metaphor and I
want, I wanted to capture itbecause that's something you
said I actually agreed with.
I shouldn't agree.
I actually liked and mightfucking use.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Sorry, whatever I might use.
Okay, what did I?
What did I say by accident?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
right now you're an open wound.
So if, if, because then whenthat wound closes you get to be
scabbed over.
If you just let time go, or ifyou want god to heal it, you
work these steps and it'll behealed, right not scabbed over a
thousand percent you might notdrink if it's scabbed over,
right, but eventually that scabis going to crack yep and then
break open.
Yeah, absolutely, you want godto do it, because right now that
open wound is exactly what itis.
(11:10):
Right, it's open.
How is it going to get?
You're going to scab over right?
You ain't going to heal it.
No, I'm not going to heal it.
God can heal it, right.
Or you can just take time andright.
Try to live off the first power, which is the fell, the power
of the fellowship, and so.
So that was good.
So that's what I was writingdown Appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
So I mean, he called me and we talked and he goes.
You know, I listened to yourguys's first two or three
episodes of of your podcastwhile I was cleaning the house.
Today.
I go, I go, really he goes,yeah, he goes.
I really appreciated your guys'stories.
I love the podcast, he goes.
But you know, I really want youto be my sponsor and I said
okay, well, I said let's, let'sget to know each other a little
(11:46):
bit.
And you know, we'll, we'llstart working through this and
uh, and I told him, I told himthe four rules, man, well, I
think I only did three, but youknow, I told him you, you, you
don't lie to me and I won't lieto you.
That's one, right, that's one.
Uh, the other one is whatever Itell you stays between you and
me, and it's not yourgirlfriend's fault, not your
(12:07):
girlfriend's business, not mywife's business.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
It stays between us.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
And third is don't waste my fucking time.
I work extremely hard and I goabout.
I'm a very busy person, so I'mgoing to set aside time for you.
Don't waste my fucking time.
Your time is as important as mytime.
So just let's respect each.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Let's respect the only other rule I add to that is
at any given point you want togo a different direction?
Right, go, grow, you ain'tgonna hurt my feelings, right.
You want to go work with thatcat?
Speaker 2 (12:34):
go, I'm good and you know, rob, I appreciate that I
forgot this, I forgot that one,but the three, the three
important ones, and I think thenumber one, the number one is
don't waste my fucking time yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
And I think and a guy who's ready a guy whose wound
is open, like you, like Brandon,like the men I've worked with
that, are just flourishing.
They were ready that wound wasand they wanted God to do it.
We're just facilitators.
And right now he's strikingwhen the iron's hot Don't mean
we're going to be successful.
We don't get anybody sobergoing to be successful.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
We don't get anybody sober.
Nope, we don't get anybodydrunk, we are a conduit, that's
it.
You know, and I I really so acouple of things that he said
when we were talking yesterdayand I actually told you and, uh,
I asked him if he had a bigbook and he said, well, him and
Christie share the plainlanguage big book.
And I'm like, Hmm, so I had tothrow my prejudice aside and go.
If this man needs to go throughthat plain language text to get
(13:29):
sober, I need to learn that,learn that tech.
So I ordered two yesterday, onefor me, one for him, because I,
to me, a good sponsor buys aman his first, first AA book.
So I ordered one for him, onefor me.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Okay, Now, as long as because the third step, prayer,
doesn't change.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
No, no, it's right there, baby, this fourth step is
a three-part inventory.
It doesn't change.
Let me get a copy of that foryou.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I got them for you, I don't give a shit.
I don't care for the plainlanguage.
I probably won't, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
But I don't know, rob , have you read it?
Yeah, I've read three quartersof the, so I can't form an
opinion on it.
I may get through and go fuck.
This opened my eyes up a littlebit Great.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
However, all I'm saying is I don't care what you
go through, what book you use,god's the same.
Third step prayer is the same.
The four step inventory is thesame, absolutely the prayer.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Step five the confession.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
That's all the same.
As long as that work happens, Idon't care what book you're
opening.
Okay, let me take the back, Ido care, however, it doesn't
matter.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
It doesn't matter because god's involved, right
and he's, and he's the answer,all right.
So so we're, so I've been, youknow.
Here's the other thing.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
And one more thing yeah, why are you done?
I know I got and why?
Speaker 2 (14:44):
why are you turning those fucking pages right on the
mic will?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
you want to swallow or?
Speaker 2 (14:48):
take a drink and swallow, shut up up hey, by the
way, my wife told me I can't domy sounds anymore.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
I don't blame her because, hey, out of respect for
katie, no more the reason rulenumber four, or your rule number
three don't waste my fuckingtime is the most important right
.
The reason it is because if aman won't honor us right and
respect a sponsor right andsubmit his time and will to a
sponsor during this process,he's not going to submit his
will to god.
So there, that's what you know,right, once they start wasting
(15:15):
your time.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
That's why, okay, I'm gonna go, because you're not
ready so there's no other thinghim and I talked about I, you
know, I to me I thought it was alittle bit important to
understand this and we're goingto get together, go have some
coffee tomorrow or meet up tokind of kind of learn each other
a little bit more, um, but Iasked him if he believes you
know does he have a higher?
Power.
He.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
He's struggling with that does, is he willing to
believe that there could be ahigh power?
Speaker 2 (15:38):
yes, the book says that's all you need to make a
beginning and we talked aboutthat yesterday because, like I
said, I want to be preparedright for every offense.
For every offense, you need adefense right and I need, I
needed to know a little bit ofwhat I'm, what I'm, you know
what I need to prepare myselffor before we start walking down
if you need to go to the weekgnostics is that's what it says
over there?
Speaker 1 (15:57):
and what about alcoholism?
Um, I'll know more about needs.
Is he, if he's willing?
To believe, yeah, that therecould be right, something
greater than you you can go.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
One of his things that he said to me is he's like
I know that something happensbecause I have already seen
things change in my life.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Wow, don't know where it's coming from doesn't matter
what's coming, don't matter, goget it, go find it.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
well, blake, you're starting to see a little bit of
the promises and I promise youyou get through these steps and
you're going to see the promisescome wide open for you, and
it's just and that relationshipwith that power right.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Whatever that is, whatever that is, whatever that
is, he'll develop that on hisown and watch it, and then watch
.
As we know, god will work.
Yep, if he works it, it's beamazing.
That's the most you're gettingready to embark If it plays out
like the way that, going to findone of the most, even all the
heartbreaks that we have.
Right and I've had a lot of Godhas given me a lot of great
successes.
Let's be honest.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
He has.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
However, the most beautiful ones are where you're
going to go, the one you'reembarking on right now, someone
who doesn't have a preconceivedweren't raised with nothing,
just okay, there could be, andthen to watch God work in's all
I can do, you know I think thiscould come at a better time for
(17:09):
me, because I think I neededthis.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
I had to back away from H&I a lot.
I'm not getting to go into thegels as much, so I haven't been
able to work with anotheralcoholic like I was.
I mean, I still go and speak atMaynard's.
I go speak a little bit hereand there.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Which is great, which is great, but it doesn't solve
that one-on-one Nothing so muchensures immunity to drinking as
intensive work with otheralcohol.
Oh, I'm sorry I might quote inthe book.
I apologize, I don't give ashit.
Big book thumper Brad.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Right.
So the other I mean, I want tojust go over real.
I got my sponsor, which is Rob,who is now what I call brother
more than sponsor.
But I just wanted to.
So when I came out of Maynardsand if I've told this story, if
you've heard it, then Iapologize, but I think we're on
the topic, just say it Fuck off.
(17:57):
We're on the topic ofsponsorship and I just want
trying to trying to get some ofour listeners to understand how
important this is.
When I came, some of ourlisteners to understand how
important this is.
When I came out of maynards Iwas so wide open and so ready to
fly down that a step.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
You okay with it?
No, I'm looking at your texturebecause you had, uh, you know,
b day, sober day, right, bellybirthday of sober birthday.
You know?
Advice to new sponsors workwith us.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
These are kind of right, this is the topics we're
going after today.
Um, so, when I came out ofMaynards you know my, my
counselor up there, which who'sbeen on the shows Chris, he got
me in touch with primary purposeand Jay that I mean Chris and I
formed a bond, I think, when Iwas in Maynards and that bond is
still extremely tight, one ofmy favorite men in this planet,
(18:43):
yeah.
And when I got down here and Imet jay for the first time, I
had no idea he, loving open arms, dawson, michael, norm, I just
an amazing group of men that I Iwas, you know, so blessed to be
a part of.
When I got out of maynards andI, I got with jay and we and we,
we met two or three times andjeanette met with katie and you
(19:04):
know was it's all warm and fuzzyand cozy but, my God, I needed
the throttle hit Right.
I needed it Right.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
I was just drowning and I'm like in my opinion,
everybody in your position,because when we all, most of it
not I shouldn't say, let's say90%, I can't even give a damn
percentage.
Anyway, most of us hit thatmoment Right, and the book says
the throttle needs to be hit andthe reason we do not, I think,
through my experience, thethrottle doesn't get hit and
(19:35):
then the scab crosses over.
They don't heal, god doesn'theal them, because they start to
feel better, they don't getthrough the steps.
Hey, maybe you know thethrottle doesn't get hit, but
you know yes, so let me justfinish.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
I want to come back to that, okay.
So the throttle doesn't get hit.
But you know yes, and so let me.
Let me just finish.
I want to come back to that,okay because that's the throttle
didn't get hit.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
But so then, what did you do?
Speaker 2 (19:52):
I just kind of I floated for about till about a
month.
I just kind of floated.
I met with jay like two orthree times and sitting at a
primary purpose meeting, I wasstaring at the the door coming
in and just not really having it.
Primary is just an open book,it's a, it's a book study.
So there's a lot going on.
And you know, in comes robwalking and fucking bouncing
(20:14):
across and I, it was instant,instantly.
When I saw I was like I gottafuck.
Then you sat behind me andyou're you.
When you shared, it was like Iwant what this fucker's got.
I, I gotta know where he's what, what is this and where can I
get more of it.
And as we were walking out,that's when jay introduced us.
(20:35):
Right, and jay, you know, I, Ithink you say it, I don't
remember it this way, but I'mpretty sure jay knew what he was
doing when he introduced usbecause jay can't run, I make
the joke, and I make the jokefor his benefit because I love
him more than anything.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
You know, the closest thing I've had to a father, you
know, since my dad died in 2000.
Yeah, but once he introduced ushe said Larry, have you met Rob
?
You turned to shake my hand andhe, you know, with his cane at
the time, didn't take offrunning and give you the bird
and say rob, he's your fuckingproblem now, right, but he just
(21:09):
turned and left.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
He did, and it was just because he knew it right, I
had to I.
I was god, love jay, and he'swalked a thousand men.
But that whole situation rightme coming in right the way I
wait, because I just with energy, because I just come in,
because god's energy and youjust came off your battle with
cancer.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
You were, you were right, I mean you were about a
year and a half.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
You were starting to you were just starting to get
yeah healthy and you were juststarting to come back into it.
But, yeah, you had a fire thatI wanted you know and I and this
is where I go back things.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
That, god thing, is the spirit of god.
For sure, for sure to god andme, jay's same spirit.
For sure, because you need it,because, if not, you were.
That's your scab.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
I was struggling, I was right I was struggling and
that's where I go back to when Iwas talking to Blake yesterday
and I said listen, dude, if youdon't squash right now, I have a
fear inside of me that youaren't going to make it and make
it you.
We need to get going, whoeveryou're doing it with, but it
needs to be now, on the otherside of that, what I want to say
(22:03):
.
I believe there are certainpeople with different
personalities that couldn't dothe steps that you and I, the
way you and I needed them.
They go to different sponsors,Right.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
That's what I'm saying Absolutely.
I'm great with that.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
And this is what I was telling Blake yesterday.
If you want to do it this way,which is what I believe you need
, I can kind of read yourpersonality.
Let's go.
Whether it's me, whether it'sDoug, whether it's Rob, whether
it's Pat, whoever it is that youdo make sure you talk to me and
I will help you get to thatperson.
If you're not comfortable withme, and that's perfectly fine, I
(22:37):
don't care.
But, dude, we need to do it,you need to do it.
You know and I know it probablysounds bad to a lot of people
saying you can't tell him whatto do.
You need to suggest.
You can't.
Man, I'm gonna tell you.
I had to use my gut on that one.
I truly believe that man needsto squeeze well he could listen.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
They can shut the fuck up.
Do you have any musts in thebig book?
oh yeah, there's 71 yeah,there's no musts in the big book
.
There's, yeah, there are.
Must you must?
He had to do it or we would die.
Right, had or must.
So we qualify the alcoholic.
Page 93 tells us that once youwere convinced your man is an
alcoholic, this man already camein and says I am an alcoholic
of this type.
Okay then, if you are, you needthis right.
(23:18):
Right, or that's just or don't.
You don't have to do it, butthis is what you need.
It's like a doctor and here's amedication you need right to
fix ailment.
You don't have to take it,motherfucker but here it is.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
You can sit there and look at it, but you need it.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
All right, you know what it's done for me.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
just since yesterday is I, you know, I've actually
opened up my 12 by 12.
I've been studying, I've beengoing back.
Like I said, it's just done somuch for me to reignite a little
bit of sun.
I mean, it wasn't like I wasstagnant, you know, I had a
balance in my life that I washappy with.
But guess what?
God had another story for me,right?
God literally said trust me.
(23:55):
When I sat down in that meetingyesterday, Tom and I were just
sitting there bullshitting andlaughing and joking.
He was giving us a hard timeabout us talking about him on
our last podcast, and so we werebullshitting back and forth and
I said jason was I was justglad mike had something other
than what he had, oh yeah, and Iwas happy he had tom and uh
(24:16):
anyway.
So we were bullshitting and thenit came around to blake, for
him to uh, for him to share anduh, like I said, I don't want to
go down, beat that road up.
But good, god, it's just.
I'm excited, a little nervous,but you know.
So I started reading some stuffonly for two, a couple reasons.
One when I do anything, I wantto know that you know what I'm.
(24:39):
I don't like this to do stuffwithout a good knowledge of what
I'm doing.
So so I believe when Isponsored the first time, I was
only about seven, eight monthssober.
I shouldn't say only I wasseven to eight months sober.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Same time I got my first one.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Yeah, and I didn't.
I don't heroin addict.
Oh boy, Still sober Doing great.
And I, my first two aren't.
It's not us, it's still.
They weren't ready.
And you know, yeah, theyweren't ready.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
And you know they didn't turn out right.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
But I truly believe I wasn't ready right.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
And I truly believe I wasn't ready.
That's why Did you?
Speaker 1 (25:16):
had you at that time had a spiritual awakening as a?
Speaker 2 (25:19):
result of the steps.
Oh, yeah, no.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Did you have access to me?
Oh yeah, and other men who'vehad that, absolutely, so you
were ready enough.
I don't.
Knowledge, wise Knowledge wise.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Emotionally maybe not Right I don't think that I was
emotionally but you had all thetools necessary to take that I
did.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Were they ready is the better question.
Well, and I look at it, I don'tbelieve they were.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Well, whether they weren't or not, I don't think
had so much selfish umselfishness in me to where I
want to do this, I want to dothat.
I fuck, I gotta have thatstupid meeting tonight.
You know that I am.
I feel like I'm in a betterplace.
I got to instead of I get toright.
That's where you were right nowI'm like fuck I, I get.
I get to meet with him tomorrownight and I'm excited.
I get to start working thesesteps with some, with another
man, and I'm excited.
I wasn't that way before before.
(26:09):
I was just excited to say I hada sponsee.
Oh, I got you, you know, that'swhat it was, everything, baby
before I was just, I wasstrutting around with my chest
out saying I got a sponsee.
Look at me, look at me and it'sjust like no, that wasn't the
right motives.
Right now I got you.
Now I think I want to help.
As much as I speak about it onthis podcast, as much as I talk
(26:31):
about it, I think God has nowsaid you're going to walk this
man through his steps, whetherhe's successful or not, you're
going to do it.
You're going to stay sober,right for sure.
So I looked up.
I wanted to just go in.
You know, look on, look ongoogle and say what is an, a
sponsor and alcohol remember, weare not sponsored by, we are
(26:54):
not affiliated with a and theword sponsorship get over it the
word sponsorship.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Over it I am what the word sponsorship is not in the
first one.
No, it's not for one reason huh, for a great reason, that
wasn't.
It wasn't intended to besponsored right then, right
Until you know.
That's why.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Go ahead.
So in Alcoholics Anonymous, asponsor is a more experienced
member who provides guidance andsupport to a new member, also
known as a sponsee, as theynavigate a program and work
through 12 Steps Essential.
A sponsor acts as a mentor, aconfidantant and a source of
encouragement, helping thesponsor stay on track with their
(27:30):
recovery.
I love it that's actuallyaspects of being a sponsor
sharing their own recovery story.
Yep guiding through at the 12steps.
Yep providing emotional supportwhen needed.
So I I had to read that onebecause I I'm not.
This is where I'm gonna have.
Emotional support takesdifferent.
It takes different'm not.
This is where I'm going to haveemotional support.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
It takes different, it takes different.
This is the this is what theymean by that.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Sponsors.
Sponsors offer a listening ear,encouragement and safe space to
discuss the challenge andtriumphs in recovery.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Promoting accountability, and you know
that's that's huge.
Offering resources big healthyboundaries.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
healthy boundaries depends on resources.
It doesn't mean you got to goget them a job If you have an
opportunity and they're readyfor that not a bank don't bring
them into your house.
You're not a bank, you're nottheir doctor, you're not their
lawyer.
You are their sponsor throughthe AA program of the steps.
Not a fucking marriagecounselor either.
(28:28):
No, and that's the like I saidyour opinion.
If they ask it, you're free toshare your opinion, but when it
comes to authority, yourauthority is in the big book,
right into the steps, and that'sit that's the problem I had
with my number one.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
But very first sponsor I had I, I, mean the
accountability part is thebiggest one.
Yeah, for sure, when you're shit, young man, oh, and I'm I will
trust me A foundation offellowship.
No pressure to well.
So, anyways, here's some morestuff.
What doesn't a big book sayabout sponsorship?
Here's more detail Sharingexpensive, strength and hope.
The big book stresses theimportance of sharing personal
(28:58):
experience, strength and hopewith others to help them in
their recovery.
The sharing in a core.
So, anyway, some more of thisis BS or not BS, but so I wanted
to come back to this because II believe this is something very
important.
You hit on it with christy,right?
So our listeners must thinkwe're just an all-in-bred,
(29:18):
because we I mean, if you, ifyou go back and listen to our
podcast we just kind of minglearound with.
There's just there's so muchintermingled with this person's
involved with this personinvolved, not not relationship
wise, but no, yeah, you know,it's just weird, because's so
much intermingled with thisperson's involved with this
person involved, not notrelationship wise, but no, yeah,
you know, it's just weirdbecause you co-sponsored um.
You co-sponsored um ChristieChristie, which I'm going to go
(29:40):
back to that.
I want to hit on that.
Can you have two sponsors?
This is it's funny.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Right One sponsor is a norm.
Se One sponsor is the norm.
Seeking multiple opinions canbe problematic.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Go ahead, because this is why.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
If a newcomer seeks advice from several sponsors
based on what they want to hear,it can lead to inconsistent
guidance and lack of focusedsupport.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Exactly Because, typically, what a human being
will do and I've got a goodfriend, you know him, we just
talked about him He'll do this.
He'll call us oh ten, oh yeah,he's called me after he's talked
to you till someone co-signstheir bullshit and then hey,
well, you know this guy.
The first five guys saidmotherfucker, right.
But number six said you know, Iwouldn't do that, okay, and
(30:23):
that's what they wanted to hear.
So that's the direction they gothat's why one sponsor picked
the right one and again.
If that's not working, go grabanother one, but don't begin,
like you said, motive, motivethe reason.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
You're the reason.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Motive but your motive was wrong because you
were just with your chest.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Yeah, my first one was just their motive is wrong
for getting a new sponsor.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
It's gonna, it's gonna, it's gonna show up in
them not getting sober.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Yeah, you know, and that's that's on them, yeah I
think my maturity, and mymaturity in my recovery, is at a
point to where I want to giveit away to somebody else.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Someone who's ready and wants to have it.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Absolutely Right, and I, you know I see guys in fresh
freshies a good way to call itwhich new hope has been bringing
a lot into.
We've had a lot of guys cominginto New Hope.
I think it's because of Pat,the chairperson, who works with
the New Hope quite a bit.
He's been bringing a lot ofguys in.
There were three fresh guys inthere yesterday.
One guy looked scared to death.
I mean he didn't even share.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
yesterday, me and Aaron got together, said a
prayer, gave the power over toGod.
We showed up the next week andguess who was there?
Jason Ryan.
Then guess who was there.
Yeah, jason Ryan.
Then guess who was there.
The fourth week Doug.
Wow, and we built it and wejust kept, we just stayed
consistent, stayed obedientbasically.
(31:40):
And God did the heavy lifting,wow.
But we must stay obedient.
It's not that you know.
Again, don't lean on a fuckingshovel Right and pray to God for
a hole, start digging.
He provided the tool.
God will you help us get agroup together?
But we're not going to doanything else.
We're just going to sit herewith our thumb up our ass and
wait for you to do everything.
That's not how he works.
God hits a moving target.
(32:01):
He prefers to hit the movingtarget.
He's a great shot.
Stay moving and work towardsthat goal, because your prayer
should not be hopeful, yourprayer should be expectant.
That's faith.
If you're going to worry, don'tfucking pray.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
If you're going to pray don't fucking worry.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Learn to let it go, because he's going to work and
you have to trust in that prayer.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
And that's very difficult.
It's easy for me to say thatfrom here.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
You'd have told me that, since month seven of
sobriety, I just slapped youupside the head.
You know, brother, I'm justtreading water.
You know what, though?
Speaker 2 (32:34):
and I still go through it though because I get,
I just went through some stuffat work and I'm actually kind of
still going through it.
That and it's just I and I andI don't stop right, you know,
show me, guide me through whatyou want me to do next you don't
.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
This is.
This is what you're great about.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
Right, you don't stop .
Speaker 1 (32:51):
No, God, no, no, no no, god hits a moving target
Right.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
I literally I've been working through something for
the last two weeks and, uh, andit's, I had to really.
I mean, I've been praying everymorning.
God, show me the path.
Don't, don't take this from me,right?
I don't pray that way anymore.
Show me the path to relievethis.
Yeah don't lighten my load.
Give me broader shoulders.
(33:15):
Right, show me how I need tonavigate this to where I can
relieve this pain.
And he has right.
He showed me and I had to gothrough some stuff that I was
scared to death to do.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Yeah, right, I was scared to fucking death to do
yeah Right, I had to.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
I was scared to fucking death to do some stuff I
had to do these last two days.
I had to discuss some stuffwith some people that I didn't
know how it was going to turnout.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
Well, there's growth, only to be found on the other
side of those moments.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Right.
So here's another one.
You're how to know if you got abad sponsor right, how to know
that I'm going to go to this one, your sponsor talks more about
him or herself than about you.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
It depends on the moment, it depends on what the
topic, it depends on whereyou're at.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
I kind of get that, because one of the things that I
kind of honestly see I justlisten.
I don't speak a lot, I do a lotof listening and that's where
I'm going to have a rough time.
I read the book.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
I explain what the book says.
I make them.
Do you know exactly?
I have them do examples from.
I show examples from my life,you know, being molested or
whatever.
Whatever the hard ones are, Ishow them and have them write
out examples of theirs.
Do you understand this?
Speaker 2 (34:17):
right and then I just listen right, your sponsor has
a cynical or pessimisticattitude.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yeah, fuck that guy if he's got no hope and strength
.
I mean right if he's, but ifthat his attitude, why the fuck
did you pick him?
Speaker 2 (34:30):
Right, right, get rid of that.
Yeah, definitely your sponsorhas trouble finding time for you
.
Get rid of them.
Yeah, that's okay, it goes backto our rule.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
This doesn't mean they're bad or evil people, no,
they're just not right for you.
They're not right for youBecause a lot of people have a
problem.
We've talked about it.
Yep, how do I change sponsors?
And they'll stick out of gear.
Guilt, fear, all right, andthat's a detriment to their
sobriety.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
Right when I left, jay, I still remember asking you
, do I need to tell Jay?
And you said he'll figure itout.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
I'm like okay, well, and I knew because the way he
turned after he introduced us, Isaw that he knew.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Yeah, he knew He'd been doing this long enough.
Because, yeah, your sponsordoesn't return your messages
promptly.
I don't know, well, I don'tknow about promptly, right?
What if he's busy?
Your sponsor is rigid in his orher approach, bullshit.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Yeah, I don't have a- .
If you want a guy who's doinghey, here's what the step four
step looks like, but do it howyou want to, Right.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
Good luck and take your time.
Don't call me whenever you'reready.
Yeah, I'm going to tell you ifyou would.
Yeah, well, I was different.
I had my four step done in aday and a half and I was ready.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
I had mine done in three and a half hours.
I was ready to get that shit.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
The fuck out.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
But again are ready to go the way the big book says
it.
You know, the way the old timeboom, boom, boom.
And I'm not if you, if you goand do a different way and have
success, great, that's not theway I'm going to do it, because
god's had great success throughthis right.
The way the old time, you know,just it's right here right,
your sponsor tries topsychoanalyze you.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
We don't have, but here's a.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
We're not doctors in the hair but had, remember I
shared in the big book study twoweeks ago, had bill wilson, not
because he remember when rolandhazard went to, went overseas,
uh, he tried to go to sigmund,freud, freud was too busy.
He tried to go to adler becauseadler and carl jung were both,
uh uh, apprentice or notapprentices, but a freud, right,
(36:26):
adler wasn't available.
Freud uh, I mean adler, freudweren't available, only Carl
Jung was.
And Carl Jung out of the threeis the only one who believes in
something spiritual, anythingmetaphysical.
Had he not, that's all we'd bedoing was psychoanalyzing people
, because there's no, there'llbe no higher power in this
program and we wouldn't have aprogram either, because that's
the power.
But anyway, that's just.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
Your sponsor isn't a good listener.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
You've got to be a good listener, because it's not
about talking.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
Listen.
Yeah, your sponsor asks you torun his or her personal errands.
If you do that, for them, mowtheir.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
I've heard hey, listen older sponsors have guys
come.
Okay, now, hold on, I'm going toplay devil's advocate.
I knew an older guy.
I mean they were working thesteps.
This guy was working, I meanthey were doing step work and he
would have this young man comeover and mow his lawn.
This, this young.
Okay, hold on.
Okay again, here's, here's,here's where circumstances are
(37:21):
different.
Most times now I would say,dude, don't.
But the young man, this youngman had never been employed.
He had just been, you know thatkind, you know just right,
homeless, robbing, stealing,thieving.
He had no, no responsibility.
So this guy was trying to teachhim.
Before you go out of theworkforce, he'll have some
response for the next month anda half as we do this work.
You're going to be at my houseon saturdays.
(37:41):
You're going, this is yourresponsibility edge, you know
right, and he paid him a littlebit, but just to learn some work
ethic, right, okay?
Before he said that's not.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
That's not that's different.
But just to learn some workethic before he said that's not,
that's different, right.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
But just to do it, just to get some free labor is
bullshit, and if that's what'sgoing on, get a different
sponsor and then, introduce meto your sponsor.
Me and Larry are slappingupside the head.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
That's what cracked me up last week when Mike said,
yeah, I switched to Tom as mysponsor.
He had me wash his truck.
Your instincts tell you that heor she isn't the right sponsor
for you.
That's what.
That's what switched me to you.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Right, I just, I just knew Again, that's a
double-edged sword too.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
This guy's too rigid, this guy's, you know he's too,
you know he's a, he's a, he's adisciplinarian.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Well, maybe that's what you need.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
Get your ass through that fucking step and if it's
coming out of this book.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
If he's not telling you, in my opinion, fuck him,
then don't listen.
But if he says well, right here, on page 65, it says, and
that's something you don't wantto do, it's right here.
Do it or go get drunk, yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
So there's always qualifiers Get working or get
dead, one or the other Right.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Anyways, I think we beat the shit out of that one.
What do?
Speaker 2 (38:57):
you think I love it.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
I mean but sponsorship and choosing the
right sponsor or an appropriatesponsor, right or wrong, I
should say that's.
You know semantics, but youknow I mean.
But don't be afraid to changeright and go and if and if need
to go eyeball, eyeball to theman hey, listen, this isn't
working for me I want to workwith jim over here Go.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
But get the work done , get it done.
If that guy's got a problem,that's his problem.
And I told Blake that yesterday.
I don't give a shit who you do,I don't give a shit who you ask
to be your sponsor, just makesure you get it done.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
But remember, when you come in to AA you have an
open wound.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Right, there was another man that walked up.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
He's going to get closed by a scab if you don't do
the work and eventually openback up, or you can have God
heal you through these stepsRight, which is going to be.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
There was another gentleman.
As I pulled Blake over to theside and we were chit-chatting,
there was another gentleman comeup and was talking to him about
asking him would you like me tobe your sponsor?
Blah, blah, blah.
And in my mind I'm like, ohblake, please know who is that?
Speaker 1 (39:52):
I ain't talking about as soon as we get off this
podcast.
You better fucking tell me anduh, whatever, man, if he would
have done it, I would have justleft it I would have left it the
way it was hold on, remember Itold you, I told you a story
about when I was a year or twosober, about the guy who was not
right not an.
He was a certain type of harddrinker that never worked the
(40:12):
steps.
The young man asked me.
He goes, you know, in the backroom of primary.
Oh, you don't have to do thesteps.
I didn't.
Two weeks later that kid wasdrunk and killed a mother and
daughter.
Now he's in prison, you know,for vehicle homicide.
Now, it's not my fault that thatkid went and drank.
It's not that guy's fault,right?
It's the kid's fault, right?
However, I should have saidsomething, right?
(40:33):
Okay, yeah, I should have saidsomething Right?
No, not right.
Then.
And the moment, hey,motherfucker, I know you didn't
work the steps, but before thatman left my presence, the young
man, I should have saidsomething.
Yeah, should have said becauseyou got guilt on that, no, not
anymore.
But I did right.
I mean, me and jay had to workthrough that because jay was rob
.
That guy is not a right.
He told me a lot of that guy'sstory because jay tried to
(40:54):
sponsor you got you.
That's why I found out the guynever worked his steps.
He was a certain type of guywas new, right, you're sober
certain type of hard drinker.
He had a second dui.
He liked what he got from aa.
He wasn't in trouble, no more.
So he just stayed here.
Everybody loved him because hewas a really educated man, spoke
well.
Everybody loved to hear himshare because he knew the book
and he would sit, all the rightthings.
But he never worked a step.
(41:15):
I didn't have to work a step,you don't have to work him that
kid's in prison.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
Still, this dude actually in the middle of an aa
program, a meeting after themeeting, in the back room.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
The guy asked and I and I heard it and I didn't say
nothing, and then all thathappened and I and I went to Jay
hey, jay, this is what I heard,right, man, I feel like an ass.
He said well, he goes.
Yes, I would have saidsomething, but I understand he
goes.
It's not your fault Any of that.
Let me tell you the backstoryabout that man.
(41:44):
Now whether Jay should have,because he told me that, so I
wouldn't feel guilty, I couldput everything in perspective.
But now I would have said andsince when I've had not exact
scenarios like that, but otherscenarios, I don't care if 20,
30, 40 years sober people, I'vepulled them off to the side when
they've said stupid shit infront of newcomers?
Speaker 2 (42:01):
No, for sure, and I've listened.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
If you say that again , you and I are go to different
fellowship.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
Fuck this place right , don't do that.
That's the difference betweenbecause you're killing.
You can kill people, yeah, butthen that's and that's what I
said in the very beginning.
There's certain things that Iwon't get involved in a
conversation because it goes alittle deeper than my knowledge,
right, because I'm still alittle bit not a little bit I'm
still a lot ignorant to a lot ofin-depth stuff in this and
there's times I might overstepand I well, and it doesn't but
I'll apologize.
(42:28):
I'm gonna tell you right now Iwould take you, I would take
your advice over people 30 and40 years sober, because how deep
you go into this book, right?
So I mean I don't know whereI'm going going with that.
It's just that I'm verycautious about how deep when I
hear stuff that's not right.
I and I know for a fact it'snot right.
I will say something, but butthe way we do it.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
We don't say it right there.
No, no, no, no people, I pullpeople aside and I do it you do
it.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
But if that way, you try to correct what was possibly
said.
Same way, the guy, the guy thatwhen you and I was getting ready
to do my four-step right andsome guy pulled and I talked
about it at primary purpose andsome guy had pulled me to the
side and started telling me howhe did his four-step.
And I'm listening to this guyand I don't even remember his
(43:15):
name, nothing.
I don't think I've ever seenhim again.
I remember that guy confused meso bad that when I left there,
because I still wasn't athousand percent understanding
the four-step, I was a littlebit more confused.
Maybe you hadn't evenintroduced it to me, I just knew
it was getting ready to come.
A little bit more confused.
Maybe you hadn't evenintroduced it to me, I just knew
it was getting ready to come.
And I was so confused aboutwhat he said and then what I had
read in the book, or then youexplained it and in my mind I'm
(43:38):
like that motherfucker shouldn'thave said a goddamn word,
because he confused the shit outof me.
More harm than good he did, forI mean I for like two or three
days, I'm sure he meant I'm surehe did great things, but he
does more harm than good andthat goes back again if it's not
in, if you can't besubstantiated, what you're about
to say to someone, new right isnot found in this fucking book.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
That's why I quote it that way.
It's not me paraphrasing, it'sa fucking quote.
It's a quote not just to show.
Hey look, how smart rob is.
No, because I'm not smart, butI can memorize, memorize.
But that way they don't have.
Hey, rob, would you?
I don't have to go, I don'thave to ask rob, I can go to
page 64, because that's what hesaid.
Oh, there it is, it's in thebook.
There's your authority, right?
Speaker 2 (44:16):
and that's where I'm hoping I I mean, I I'm gonna
have to do some more studyingand get get caught up on some of
that stuff.
Anyways, rob, let's get thehell out of here.
Let's go.
Recovery unfiltered podcast atgmailcom.
Reach out to us if you got anyquestions on that, if you got,
somebody needs some help that'sright.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
I'm sorry.
There's like six f-bombs andthat's.
I'm please forgive me for thatI'll clean it up next time.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Tammy, it was all him , not me.
Yeah, recovery, unfilteredpodcast, that g what?
Speaker 1 (44:43):
my sister asked because I want to talk.
I want to clarify one thing asfar as the mike and the jason,
because we had talked about, um,uh, mike's first son, joseph
joseph, and we kind of left iton the cliffhanger.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
She goes robbie, that's something I was going to
clear up is joseph still alive.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
Yes, joseph is alive.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Uh, physically he is still impaired, mentally he's
pretty good, you know, but he isstill alive and well, you know,
I'm sorry to leave that was oneof the things I was going to
bring up, and we will, we will,and it's probably good that
Tammy yeah, I mean Joseph is.
I mean, he's around Oakdale.
Oh yeah, people know him.
Yeah, all right, let's get outof here.
Bye-bye.
Thank you for joining us today.
(45:24):
We hope you learned somethingtoday that will help you If you
did not come back next week, andwe'll try again If you like
what we heard.
Speaker 1 (45:30):
Give us a five-star review.
If you don't like what youheard, kiss my.
You can't say that, can you?
Anyway, if you don't like whatyou heard, go ahead and tell us
that too.
We'll see what we can improve.
We probably won't changenothing, but do it anyway.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
Hey, thanks Rob.
Go back next week and hopefullysomething will be different and
something will sink inunfiltered.
How about now?
We feel a man is unthinkingwhen he says sobriety is enough.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
You sit on the toilet , don't you?
No, use that as your meditation.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Not my wife, not your wife, nor anybody listening to
this podcast has eaten a shitsandwich.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
We didn't have a hand in that.
Welcome to.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Recovery Unfiltered.
I'm Larry, I'm an alcoholic.
I'm Rob, I'm also an alcoholic.
We are not professionals.
There are no letters after ournames.
We know very little, however.
Next to nothing you will hearthe word god in a four-letter
word.
Next to nothing.
I'm about ready to prove thatoffended.
So if you are easily offended,just pass us by this podcast is
not for you.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Our opinions are just that.
If you don't agree with whatwe're saying, that's okay.
We're gonna love you anyways.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
We are not in any way affiliated with aa so sit back,
grab a beverage of your choiceand get ready let's go, mr rob.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
What's up?
Brother?
Happy day, we are back.
I got a little bit ofannouncement we were supposed to
be recording.
I'm going to pull back thecurtains just for a minute.
So rob and I we record everyother sunday, right and the last
typically, sometimes typicallyright.
Sometimes we grab another dayin there because we have to,
because, like I said, I want todrop every week, no matter what
(01:04):
right.
Sometimes rob and I just comein, we put something in.
We don't throw it together.
We try not to throw anythingtogether.
Everything we do we have apurpose right.
So every once in a while robwill rob and I will grab
something on the weekends or onduring the week and but for the
most part we stay on a prettygood schedule.
About every other sunday werecord and then we drop
wednesday.
Wednesday, then record again.
Well, we had Mike and Jason onon that last episode, the last
(01:28):
41 and 42, right 40 and 41,right 41, 42.
41, 42.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Right, we're getting ready to record.
Right, right, right, we were 40.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yep, yep.
And so we towards the end of 42, we got to talking about Mike's
wife, kim, and and that well,living in men's actually let's.
We were going to bring those twoback in to finish up because we
didn't get finished, and thensomewhere in the week mike says
(01:56):
hey, well, no, that was me, I,when I went to edit that, right,
I edited that and as I waslistening to it, I'm like
because we I said something toMike about the living amends
with with his wife and you know,just the livings amends of how
to forgive yourself, and hereally started to get into that,
educate or get into thatconversation and as I was
(02:17):
listening to that, I was like,you know, the only way to finish
this story with with mike is tobring kim back in.
So we set that up and and kimagreed, well, we were going to
record to their.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
They were intent on trying to find, trying to find
the text.
As you told me, I was in themiddle of the week, right,
because our plan was to havethese guys were going to come
back for right for a third theywere.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
They were in the middle of the week.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
You texted me.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
You said, hey, kim wants to come in right and do
one because, like I said, Ireached out to Mike and I said
hey, I just got done, Becausewhen we left here that Sunday
that wasn't a plan.
But I'm telling you, which wasawesome.
God just hit me and said Kim'sgot to be, kim's got to be in
here to finish it, same way wedid with Jason when we brought
Jenny in right, it was perfect.
It was perfect.
And I, to finish this storyyeah, she did.
(03:01):
Well, I got a phone call at8.55 this morning for Mike, and
you know, sometimes I wonderabout people when they try to
back out at the last minute, butthat's not what this was.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Shingles are no joke, baby.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
He told me that he felt like you know, kim was
pretty convinced that she wascoming down with the shingles,
that you know all the signslooked at it and I said you know
what, take care of her.
You know, rob, and I, rob and Ilove sitting and chit-chatting.
Anyways, I had a couple ofthings.
I want to get caught up on acouple topics that I've been
working through myself.
So, just going to give us sometime, so we're going to record a
(03:38):
couple episodes and, um, um,hopefully, hopefully, something
sinks in, you know something,something you can work on.
But what I want to talk abouttoday is, uh, so Jason A's wife,
jenny, she decides she wantedto start her own podcast and
it's called sober sister shitshow.
And they came into my studio,or come into our studio, and, um
(03:59):
, and they recorded and thefirst one was with a girl by the
name of Christie, right, andI'm giving a little backdrop on
this because it's going to getto where I want to go and they
recorded, and the first one waswith a girl by the name of
Christy, right, and I'm giving alittle backdrop on this because
it's going to get to where Iwant to go.
So just be patient with me ordon't.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
We don't care.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Everybody says I talk too much, but this is my story
and I'm telling it.
So, when Jenny came in, shecame in with a girl by the name
of Christy, right in.
She came in with a girl by thename of christy right, and they,
they did it and they recordedand everything went great and
they were going to come backrecord again because that was
going to be her co-host.
Well, the very next time, um,they were coming back to record,
she couldn't make it because agood, very close friend of hers
(04:35):
was very, very sick and, uh, ina in a hospital room down in la
san diego area.
So, okay, she recorded withanother girl, and so on and so
forth.
Well, about two months agothere was a guy that came in to
our Saturday was it Saturdaymorning or your Thursday night
meeting.
When I went Saturday morning,well, it was Saturday morning
(04:56):
and he was just fresh.
He'd only had a couple of dayssober, fresh.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
And you want a little backstory on Christy.
Yeah, she had asked me to helpher with the steps, so I sat
down at my Thursday meeting.
We'd show up early for threeweeks me, her Susan, her sponsor
and we went through Okay, soyou co-sponsored her Basically.
Yeah, we went through the steps.
I told her.
This is how it's laid out whenyou do your fifth step, you say
it to her.
When you do your meds, you talkto her.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Okay, and then you go and I actually got some.
I got a co-sponsor thing inhere that I want to go through,
so she's on fire right now.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Yeah, she is, and I saw her yesterday.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
So he so yesterday, and actually after that meeting
a couple months back, I satthere and talked with him for a
long time.
I mean, he was fresh green andI was just trying to encourage
you.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
He just showed up to our Monday meeting for the first
time You're telling my damnstory.
You want to finish telling itmotherfucker, shut the fuck up.
Sorry, speak when you're spokento.
No, hey, I talk too much.
I apologize.
You know I speak out of turn.
I overspeak.
I'm just on the loud.
I'm sorry, larry, I apologize.
Take, if you can.
Can you pick back up where youwere?
Fuck?
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Don't lose your spot.
I gotta go back and rememberwhere my story was Fuck, Go, go
from.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
he came short.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Monday night.
So when he showed up Mondaynight I thought all right, you
know, I mean, it's not that ourMonday night some um some
miraculous event.
Well, let me, I'm going to, I'mgoing to explain that.
But our Monday night is not anAA meeting.
It's not.
We're not associated.
No, we are not.
That Monday night group is justa group of brothers that hold
each other accountable and welove and we go through the book
(06:30):
and then, well, we started withthree or four or five and we're
at 26, 27 in our meetings.
It's grown, it's a God thing, itreally is a God thing, same as
this podcast.
So he sat there and he sharedright and and, and I've said
this so many times when I seethat pain of somebody, right, it
just just intrigues me.
I don't know about intrigue, isthe right word?
Speaker 1 (06:50):
I it, it, it attracts me I don't know why pain of
somebody.
You want me to tell you why itattracts you yes same reason.
Okay, remember when old boy wassharing and you were looking at
me like the guy was new at thesaturday morning meeting and you
were looking at me like I waschomping at the bit, because
when they're in pain, there'sthat small window.
They're ready.
They're ready, theirwillingness is right there.
The most it's ever going to beto get to God and do this work.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
So Saturday morning he showed back up and in that
period of time from Monday nightto Saturday I don't know how
you and I got in thisconversation, but you said, well
, I spawned Saturday.
I don't know how you and I gotin this conversation, but you
said, well, I spawned.
He, that's Christie's, that'sChristie's boyfriend, and I'm
like, huh, okay, brings it homea little bit.
And then on a Saturday morningI saw them close.
(07:34):
They were both.
You know, the women's group wasleaving and the men's group was
coming in and I we chit chatteda little bit together, which
Christie says she wants to comeon and tell her story, which we
need to get that on, you know.
And then we got into themeeting and then Blake shared.
Now you guys have all heard mesay when I don't like to sponsor
, right, it's just not, I'vetried it.
(07:56):
It's not me, I'm a selfishprick, I don't like to give up
my time and I and I've saw andyou've already said you will
sponsor, right.
People said that, doug saidthat, everybody said that and
I've said it.
You know, if God slaps me overthe head, I will present the
opportunity, right?
Well, when I say that Godslapped me over the head.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
I'm sitting there listening to him share and I had
a warm feeling just come overmy body and just literally, I
just froze and I'm like I got tosponsor this guy, yeah, like I
gotta sponsor this guy, yeah, Igotta sponsor this guy that is,
the, that's equivalent of god'sspiritual two by four, by the
way.
Wow, I'm like.
So, I was like.
Well, there's no doubt, youknow what I mean.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
There's oh no, there was zero doubt.
There was zero doubt, I knewfor a fact right because of the
back I my interactions with himup to that point.
the night I spent with him afterthe meeting and I, we sat there
and shared and we talked backand forth for so long and then
and then so I just waited and Ieven texted you.
I was like I even told you.
(08:53):
I said I think God just hit meover the head with a two by four
.
I think I'm going to need tosponsor this kid or offer so,
and I and as we've spoke manytimes, I am not going to say can
I sponsor you?
That's just not how we do that.
Nope.
But after the meeting I toldhim I and I literally pulled him
to the side.
I said, blake, I just got totell you something.
(09:14):
You I have always said I wouldnever sponsor, but God has hit
me over the head pretty hard tosponsor you.
But I'm going to tell yousomething that doesn't mean I
should be your sponsor.
What I am going to tell you isthat your willingness right now
is wide fucking open.
I've seen it in you a couple oftimes now, that's the
(09:34):
attraction.
That's what a track.
And I'm like you are wide open,you're an open wound right now.
And I said I'm going to warnyou, if you don't, if you don't
get a sponsor and get thishappening quickly, that window
is going to slam shut and you'regoing to think everything's
hunky-dory.
And I said I don't really careif you go to Rob, pat Doug, I
(09:55):
don't care who you go to get asponsor, but you need to do it
quickly, before that willingnessstops.
And he started to say somethingelse I go, do not ask me right
now.
I want you to go home, I wantyou to pray about it and then I
want you to contact that whoeveryou want to be your sponsor.
Well, he called me about fouro'clock last night and asked me
(10:17):
if I, if I, would sponsor him.
So yes, I am going to takeanother run at this.
What are you writing down overthere?
Go and keep talking.
Well, I'm done now.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Keep talking, keep talking, god you don't shut up,
can't you spend?
Look at the signs where I'mstarting to finish no, okay,
because you had a good listen,you had a great metaphor and I
want, I wanted to capture itbecause that's something you
said I actually agreed with.
I shouldn't agree.
I actually liked and mightfucking use.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Sorry, whatever I might use.
Okay, what did I?
What did I say by accident?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
right now you're an open wound.
So if, if, because then whenthat wound closes you get to be
scabbed over.
If you just let time go, or ifyou want god to heal it, you
work these steps and it'll behealed, right not scabbed over a
thousand percent you might notdrink if it's scabbed over,
right, but eventually that scabis going to crack yep and then
break open.
Yeah, absolutely, you want godto do it, because right now that
open wound is exactly what itis.
(11:10):
Right, it's open.
How is it going to get?
You're going to scab over right?
You ain't going to heal it.
No, I'm not going to heal it.
God can heal it, right.
Or you can just take time andright.
Try to live off the first power, which is the fell, the power
of the fellowship, and so.
So that was good.
So that's what I was writingdown Appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
So I mean, he called me and we talked and he goes.
You know, I listened to yourguys's first two or three
episodes of of your podcastwhile I was cleaning the house.
Today.
I go, I go, really he goes,yeah, he goes.
I really appreciated your guys'stories.
I love the podcast, he goes.
But you know, I really want youto be my sponsor and I said
okay, well, I said let's, let'sget to know each other a little
(11:46):
bit.
And you know, we'll, we'llstart working through this and
uh, and I told him, I told himthe four rules, man, well, I
think I only did three, but youknow, I told him you, you, you
don't lie to me and I won't lieto you.
That's one, right, that's one.
Uh, the other one is whatever Itell you stays between you and
me, and it's not yourgirlfriend's fault, not your
(12:07):
girlfriend's business, not mywife's business.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
It stays between us.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
And third is don't waste my fucking time.
I work extremely hard and I goabout.
I'm a very busy person, so I'mgoing to set aside time for you.
Don't waste my fucking time.
Your time is as important as mytime.
So just let's respect each.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Let's respect the only other rule I add to that is
at any given point you want togo a different direction?
Right, go, grow, you ain'tgonna hurt my feelings, right.
You want to go work with thatcat?
Speaker 2 (12:34):
go, I'm good and you know, rob, I appreciate that I
forgot this, I forgot that one,but the three, the three
important ones, and I think thenumber one, the number one is
don't waste my fucking time yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
And I think and a guy who's ready a guy whose wound
is open, like you, like Brandon,like the men I've worked with
that, are just flourishing.
They were ready that wound wasand they wanted God to do it.
We're just facilitators.
And right now he's strikingwhen the iron's hot Don't mean
we're going to be successful.
We don't get anybody sobergoing to be successful.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
We don't get anybody sober.
Nope, we don't get anybodydrunk, we are a conduit, that's
it.
You know, and I I really so acouple of things that he said
when we were talking yesterdayand I actually told you and, uh,
I asked him if he had a bigbook and he said, well, him and
Christie share the plainlanguage big book.
And I'm like, Hmm, so I had tothrow my prejudice aside and go.
If this man needs to go throughthat plain language text to get
(13:29):
sober, I need to learn that,learn that tech.
So I ordered two yesterday, onefor me, one for him, because I,
to me, a good sponsor buys aman his first, first AA book.
So I ordered one for him, onefor me.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Okay, Now, as long as because the third step, prayer,
doesn't change.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
No, no, it's right there, baby, this fourth step is
a three-part inventory.
It doesn't change.
Let me get a copy of that foryou.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I got them for you, I don't give a shit.
I don't care for the plainlanguage.
I probably won't, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
But I don't know, rob , have you read it?
Yeah, I've read three quartersof the, so I can't form an
opinion on it.
I may get through and go fuck.
This opened my eyes up a littlebit Great.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
However, all I'm saying is I don't care what you
go through, what book you use,god's the same.
Third step prayer is the same.
The four step inventory is thesame, absolutely the prayer.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Step five the confession.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
That's all the same.
As long as that work happens, Idon't care what book you're
opening.
Okay, let me take the back, Ido care, however, it doesn't
matter.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
It doesn't matter because god's involved, right
and he's, and he's the answer,all right.
So so we're, so I've been, youknow.
Here's the other thing.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
And one more thing yeah, why are you done?
I know I got and why?
Speaker 2 (14:44):
why are you turning those fucking pages right on the
mic will?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
you want to swallow or?
Speaker 2 (14:48):
take a drink and swallow, shut up up hey, by the
way, my wife told me I can't domy sounds anymore.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
I don't blame her because, hey, out of respect for
katie, no more the reason rulenumber four, or your rule number
three don't waste my fuckingtime is the most important right
.
The reason it is because if aman won't honor us right and
respect a sponsor right andsubmit his time and will to a
sponsor during this process,he's not going to submit his
will to god.
So there, that's what you know,right, once they start wasting
(15:15):
your time.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
That's why, okay, I'm gonna go, because you're not
ready so there's no other thinghim and I talked about I, you
know, I to me I thought it was alittle bit important to
understand this and we're goingto get together, go have some
coffee tomorrow or meet up tokind of kind of learn each other
a little bit more, um, but Iasked him if he believes you
know does he have a higher?
Power.
He.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
He's struggling with that does, is he willing to
believe that there could be ahigh power?
Speaker 2 (15:38):
yes, the book says that's all you need to make a
beginning and we talked aboutthat yesterday because, like I
said, I want to be preparedright for every offense.
For every offense, you need adefense right and I need, I
needed to know a little bit ofwhat I'm, what I'm, you know
what I need to prepare myselffor before we start walking down
if you need to go to the weekgnostics is that's what it says
over there?
Speaker 1 (15:57):
and what about alcoholism?
Um, I'll know more about needs.
Is he, if he's willing?
To believe, yeah, that therecould be right, something
greater than you you can go.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
One of his things that he said to me is he's like
I know that something happensbecause I have already seen
things change in my life.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Wow, don't know where it's coming from doesn't matter
what's coming, don't matter, goget it, go find it.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
well, blake, you're starting to see a little bit of
the promises and I promise youyou get through these steps and
you're going to see the promisescome wide open for you, and
it's just and that relationshipwith that power right.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Whatever that is, whatever that is, whatever that
is, he'll develop that on hisown and watch it, and then watch
.
As we know, god will work.
Yep, if he works it, it's beamazing.
That's the most you're gettingready to embark If it plays out
like the way that, going to findone of the most, even all the
heartbreaks that we have.
Right and I've had a lot of Godhas given me a lot of great
successes.
Let's be honest.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
He has.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
However, the most beautiful ones are where you're
going to go, the one you'reembarking on right now, someone
who doesn't have a preconceivedweren't raised with nothing,
just okay, there could be, andthen to watch God work in's all
I can do, you know I think thiscould come at a better time for
(17:09):
me, because I think I neededthis.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
I had to back away from H&I a lot.
I'm not getting to go into thegels as much, so I haven't been
able to work with anotheralcoholic like I was.
I mean, I still go and speak atMaynard's.
I go speak a little bit hereand there.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Which is great, which is great, but it doesn't solve
that one-on-one Nothing so muchensures immunity to drinking as
intensive work with otheralcohol.
Oh, I'm sorry I might quote inthe book.
I apologize, I don't give ashit.
Big book thumper Brad.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Right.
So the other I mean, I want tojust go over real.
I got my sponsor, which is Rob,who is now what I call brother
more than sponsor.
But I just wanted to.
So when I came out of Maynardsand if I've told this story, if
you've heard it, then Iapologize, but I think we're on
the topic, just say it Fuck off.
(17:57):
We're on the topic ofsponsorship and I just want
trying to trying to get some ofour listeners to understand how
important this is.
When I came, some of ourlisteners to understand how
important this is.
When I came out of maynards Iwas so wide open and so ready to
fly down that a step.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
You okay with it?
No, I'm looking at your texturebecause you had, uh, you know,
b day, sober day, right, bellybirthday of sober birthday.
You know?
Advice to new sponsors workwith us.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
These are kind of right, this is the topics we're
going after today.
Um, so, when I came out ofMaynards you know my, my
counselor up there, which who'sbeen on the shows Chris, he got
me in touch with primary purposeand Jay that I mean Chris and I
formed a bond, I think, when Iwas in Maynards and that bond is
still extremely tight, one ofmy favorite men in this planet,
(18:43):
yeah.
And when I got down here and Imet jay for the first time, I
had no idea he, loving open arms, dawson, michael, norm, I just
an amazing group of men that I Iwas, you know, so blessed to be
a part of.
When I got out of maynards andI, I got with jay and we and we,
we met two or three times andjeanette met with katie and you
(19:04):
know was it's all warm and fuzzyand cozy but, my God, I needed
the throttle hit Right.
I needed it Right.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
I was just drowning and I'm like in my opinion,
everybody in your position,because when we all, most of it
not I shouldn't say, let's say90%, I can't even give a damn
percentage.
Anyway, most of us hit thatmoment Right, and the book says
the throttle needs to be hit andthe reason we do not, I think,
through my experience, thethrottle doesn't get hit and
(19:35):
then the scab crosses over.
They don't heal, god doesn'theal them, because they start to
feel better, they don't getthrough the steps.
Hey, maybe you know thethrottle doesn't get hit, but
you know yes, so let me justfinish.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
I want to come back to that, okay.
So the throttle doesn't get hit.
But you know yes, and so let me.
Let me just finish.
I want to come back to that,okay because that's the throttle
didn't get hit.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
But so then, what did you do?
Speaker 2 (19:52):
I just kind of I floated for about till about a
month.
I just kind of floated.
I met with jay like two orthree times and sitting at a
primary purpose meeting, I wasstaring at the the door coming
in and just not really having it.
Primary is just an open book,it's a, it's a book study.
So there's a lot going on.
And you know, in comes robwalking and fucking bouncing
(20:14):
across and I, it was instant,instantly.
When I saw I was like I gottafuck.
Then you sat behind me andyou're you.
When you shared, it was like Iwant what this fucker's got.
I, I gotta know where he's what, what is this and where can I
get more of it.
And as we were walking out,that's when jay introduced us.
(20:35):
Right, and jay, you know, I, Ithink you say it, I don't
remember it this way, but I'mpretty sure jay knew what he was
doing when he introduced usbecause jay can't run, I make
the joke, and I make the jokefor his benefit because I love
him more than anything.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
You know, the closest thing I've had to a father, you
know, since my dad died in 2000.
Yeah, but once he introduced ushe said Larry, have you met Rob
?
You turned to shake my hand andhe, you know, with his cane at
the time, didn't take offrunning and give you the bird
and say rob, he's your fuckingproblem now, right, but he just
(21:09):
turned and left.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
He did, and it was just because he knew it right, I
had to I.
I was god, love jay, and he'swalked a thousand men.
But that whole situation rightme coming in right the way I
wait, because I just with energy, because I just come in,
because god's energy and youjust came off your battle with
cancer.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
You were, you were right, I mean you were about a
year and a half.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
You were starting to you were just starting to get
yeah healthy and you were juststarting to come back into it.
But, yeah, you had a fire thatI wanted you know and I and this
is where I go back things.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
That, god thing, is the spirit of god.
For sure, for sure to god andme, jay's same spirit.
For sure, because you need it,because, if not, you were.
That's your scab.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
I was struggling, I was right I was struggling and
that's where I go back to when Iwas talking to Blake yesterday
and I said listen, dude, if youdon't squash right now, I have a
fear inside of me that youaren't going to make it and make
it you.
We need to get going, whoeveryou're doing it with, but it
needs to be now, on the otherside of that, what I want to say
(22:03):
.
I believe there are certainpeople with different
personalities that couldn't dothe steps that you and I, the
way you and I needed them.
They go to different sponsors,Right.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
That's what I'm saying Absolutely.
I'm great with that.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
And this is what I was telling Blake yesterday.
If you want to do it this way,which is what I believe you need
, I can kind of read yourpersonality.
Let's go.
Whether it's me, whether it'sDoug, whether it's Rob, whether
it's Pat, whoever it is that youdo make sure you talk to me and
I will help you get to thatperson.
If you're not comfortable withme, and that's perfectly fine, I
(22:37):
don't care.
But, dude, we need to do it,you need to do it.
You know and I know it probablysounds bad to a lot of people
saying you can't tell him whatto do.
You need to suggest.
You can't.
Man, I'm gonna tell you.
I had to use my gut on that one.
I truly believe that man needsto squeeze well he could listen.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
They can shut the fuck up.
Do you have any musts in thebig book?
oh yeah, there's 71 yeah,there's no musts in the big book
.
There's, yeah, there are.
Must you must?
He had to do it or we would die.
Right, had or must.
So we qualify the alcoholic.
Page 93 tells us that once youwere convinced your man is an
alcoholic, this man already camein and says I am an alcoholic
of this type.
Okay then, if you are, you needthis right.
(23:18):
Right, or that's just or don't.
You don't have to do it, butthis is what you need.
It's like a doctor and here's amedication you need right to
fix ailment.
You don't have to take it,motherfucker but here it is.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
You can sit there and look at it, but you need it.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
All right, you know what it's done for me.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
just since yesterday is I, you know, I've actually
opened up my 12 by 12.
I've been studying, I've beengoing back.
Like I said, it's just done somuch for me to reignite a little
bit of sun.
I mean, it wasn't like I wasstagnant, you know, I had a
balance in my life that I washappy with.
But guess what?
God had another story for me,right?
God literally said trust me.
(23:55):
When I sat down in that meetingyesterday, Tom and I were just
sitting there bullshitting andlaughing and joking.
He was giving us a hard timeabout us talking about him on
our last podcast, and so we werebullshitting back and forth and
I said jason was I was justglad mike had something other
than what he had, oh yeah, and Iwas happy he had tom and uh
(24:16):
anyway.
So we were bullshitting and thenit came around to blake, for
him to uh, for him to share anduh, like I said, I don't want to
go down, beat that road up.
But good, god, it's just.
I'm excited, a little nervous,but you know.
So I started reading some stuffonly for two, a couple reasons.
One when I do anything, I wantto know that you know what I'm.
(24:39):
I don't like this to do stuffwithout a good knowledge of what
I'm doing.
So so I believe when Isponsored the first time, I was
only about seven, eight monthssober.
I shouldn't say only I wasseven to eight months sober.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Same time I got my first one.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Yeah, and I didn't.
I don't heroin addict.
Oh boy, Still sober Doing great.
And I, my first two aren't.
It's not us, it's still.
They weren't ready.
And you know, yeah, theyweren't ready.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
And you know they didn't turn out right.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
But I truly believe I wasn't ready right.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
And I truly believe I wasn't ready.
That's why Did you?
Speaker 1 (25:16):
had you at that time had a spiritual awakening as a?
Speaker 2 (25:19):
result of the steps.
Oh, yeah, no.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Did you have access to me?
Oh yeah, and other men who'vehad that, absolutely, so you
were ready enough.
I don't.
Knowledge, wise Knowledge wise.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Emotionally maybe not Right I don't think that I was
emotionally but you had all thetools necessary to take that I
did.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Were they ready is the better question.
Well, and I look at it, I don'tbelieve they were.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Well, whether they weren't or not, I don't think
had so much selfish umselfishness in me to where I
want to do this, I want to dothat.
I fuck, I gotta have thatstupid meeting tonight.
You know that I am.
I feel like I'm in a betterplace.
I got to instead of I get toright.
That's where you were right nowI'm like fuck I, I get.
I get to meet with him tomorrownight and I'm excited.
I get to start working thesesteps with some, with another
man, and I'm excited.
I wasn't that way before before.
(26:09):
I was just excited to say I hada sponsee.
Oh, I got you, you know, that'swhat it was, everything, baby
before I was just, I wasstrutting around with my chest
out saying I got a sponsee.
Look at me, look at me and it'sjust like no, that wasn't the
right motives.
Right now I got you.
Now I think I want to help.
As much as I speak about it onthis podcast, as much as I talk
(26:31):
about it, I think God has nowsaid you're going to walk this
man through his steps, whetherhe's successful or not, you're
going to do it.
You're going to stay sober,right for sure.
So I looked up.
I wanted to just go in.
You know, look on, look ongoogle and say what is an, a
sponsor and alcohol remember, weare not sponsored by, we are
(26:54):
not affiliated with a and theword sponsorship get over it the
word sponsorship.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Over it I am what the word sponsorship is not in the
first one.
No, it's not for one reason huh, for a great reason, that
wasn't.
It wasn't intended to besponsored right then, right
Until you know.
That's why.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Go ahead.
So in Alcoholics Anonymous, asponsor is a more experienced
member who provides guidance andsupport to a new member, also
known as a sponsee, as theynavigate a program and work
through 12 Steps Essential.
A sponsor acts as a mentor, aconfidantant and a source of
encouragement, helping thesponsor stay on track with their
(27:30):
recovery.
I love it that's actuallyaspects of being a sponsor
sharing their own recovery story.
Yep guiding through at the 12steps.
Yep providing emotional supportwhen needed.
So I I had to read that onebecause I I'm not.
This is where I'm gonna have.
Emotional support takesdifferent.
It takes different'm not.
This is where I'm going to haveemotional support.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
It takes different, it takes different.
This is the this is what theymean by that.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Sponsors.
Sponsors offer a listening ear,encouragement and safe space to
discuss the challenge andtriumphs in recovery.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Promoting accountability, and you know
that's that's huge.
Offering resources big healthyboundaries.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
healthy boundaries depends on resources.
It doesn't mean you got to goget them a job If you have an
opportunity and they're readyfor that not a bank don't bring
them into your house.
You're not a bank, you're nottheir doctor, you're not their
lawyer.
You are their sponsor throughthe AA program of the steps.
Not a fucking marriagecounselor either.
(28:28):
No, and that's the like I saidyour opinion.
If they ask it, you're free toshare your opinion, but when it
comes to authority, yourauthority is in the big book,
right into the steps, and that'sit that's the problem I had
with my number one.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
But very first sponsor I had I, I, mean the
accountability part is thebiggest one.
Yeah, for sure, when you're shit, young man, oh, and I'm I will
trust me A foundation offellowship.
No pressure to well.
So, anyways, here's some morestuff.
What doesn't a big book sayabout sponsorship?
Here's more detail Sharingexpensive, strength and hope.
The big book stresses theimportance of sharing personal
(28:58):
experience, strength and hopewith others to help them in
their recovery.
The sharing in a core.
So, anyway, some more of thisis BS or not BS, but so I wanted
to come back to this because II believe this is something very
important.
You hit on it with christy,right?
So our listeners must thinkwe're just an all-in-bred,
(29:18):
because we I mean, if you, ifyou go back and listen to our
podcast we just kind of minglearound with.
There's just there's so muchintermingled with this person's
involved with this personinvolved, not not relationship
wise, but no, yeah, you know,it's just weird, because's so
much intermingled with thisperson's involved with this
person involved, not notrelationship wise, but no, yeah,
you know, it's just weirdbecause you co-sponsored um.
You co-sponsored um ChristieChristie, which I'm going to go
(29:40):
back to that.
I want to hit on that.
Can you have two sponsors?
This is it's funny.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Right One sponsor is a norm.
Se One sponsor is the norm.
Seeking multiple opinions canbe problematic.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Go ahead, because this is why.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
If a newcomer seeks advice from several sponsors
based on what they want to hear,it can lead to inconsistent
guidance and lack of focusedsupport.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Exactly Because, typically, what a human being
will do and I've got a goodfriend, you know him, we just
talked about him He'll do this.
He'll call us oh ten, oh yeah,he's called me after he's talked
to you till someone co-signstheir bullshit and then hey,
well, you know this guy.
The first five guys saidmotherfucker, right.
But number six said you know, Iwouldn't do that, okay, and
(30:23):
that's what they wanted to hear.
So that's the direction they gothat's why one sponsor picked
the right one and again.
If that's not working, go grabanother one, but don't begin,
like you said, motive, motivethe reason.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
You're the reason.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Motive but your motive was wrong because you
were just with your chest.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Yeah, my first one was just their motive is wrong
for getting a new sponsor.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
It's gonna, it's gonna, it's gonna show up in
them not getting sober.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Yeah, you know, and that's that's on them, yeah I
think my maturity, and mymaturity in my recovery, is at a
point to where I want to giveit away to somebody else.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Someone who's ready and wants to have it.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Absolutely Right, and I, you know I see guys in fresh
freshies a good way to call itwhich new hope has been bringing
a lot into.
We've had a lot of guys cominginto New Hope.
I think it's because of Pat,the chairperson, who works with
the New Hope quite a bit.
He's been bringing a lot ofguys in.
There were three fresh guys inthere yesterday.
One guy looked scared to death.
I mean he didn't even share.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
yesterday, me and Aaron got together, said a
prayer, gave the power over toGod.
We showed up the next week andguess who was there?
Jason Ryan.
Then guess who was there.
Yeah, jason Ryan.
Then guess who was there.
The fourth week Doug.
Wow, and we built it and wejust kept, we just stayed
consistent, stayed obedientbasically.
(31:40):
And God did the heavy lifting,wow.
But we must stay obedient.
It's not that you know.
Again, don't lean on a fuckingshovel Right and pray to God for
a hole, start digging.
He provided the tool.
God will you help us get agroup together?
But we're not going to doanything else.
We're just going to sit herewith our thumb up our ass and
wait for you to do everything.
That's not how he works.
God hits a moving target.
(32:01):
He prefers to hit the movingtarget.
He's a great shot.
Stay moving and work towardsthat goal, because your prayer
should not be hopeful, yourprayer should be expectant.
That's faith.
If you're going to worry, don'tfucking pray.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
If you're going to pray don't fucking worry.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Learn to let it go, because he's going to work and
you have to trust in that prayer.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
And that's very difficult.
It's easy for me to say thatfrom here.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
You'd have told me that, since month seven of
sobriety, I just slapped youupside the head.
You know, brother, I'm justtreading water.
You know what, though?
Speaker 2 (32:34):
and I still go through it though because I get,
I just went through some stuffat work and I'm actually kind of
still going through it.
That and it's just I and I andI don't stop right, you know,
show me, guide me through whatyou want me to do next you don't
.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
This is.
This is what you're great about.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
Right, you don't stop .
Speaker 1 (32:51):
No, God, no, no, no no, god hits a moving target
Right.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
I literally I've been working through something for
the last two weeks and, uh, andit's, I had to really.
I mean, I've been praying everymorning.
God, show me the path.
Don't, don't take this from me,right?
I don't pray that way anymore.
Show me the path to relievethis.
Yeah don't lighten my load.
Give me broader shoulders.
(33:15):
Right, show me how I need tonavigate this to where I can
relieve this pain.
And he has right.
He showed me and I had to gothrough some stuff that I was
scared to death to do.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Yeah, right, I was scared to fucking death to do
yeah Right, I had to.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
I was scared to fucking death to do some stuff I
had to do these last two days.
I had to discuss some stuffwith some people that I didn't
know how it was going to turnout.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
Well, there's growth, only to be found on the other
side of those moments.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Right.
So here's another one.
You're how to know if you got abad sponsor right, how to know
that I'm going to go to this one, your sponsor talks more about
him or herself than about you.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
It depends on the moment, it depends on what the
topic, it depends on whereyou're at.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
I kind of get that, because one of the things that I
kind of honestly see I justlisten.
I don't speak a lot, I do a lotof listening and that's where
I'm going to have a rough time.
I read the book.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
I explain what the book says.
I make them.
Do you know exactly?
I have them do examples from.
I show examples from my life,you know, being molested or
whatever.
Whatever the hard ones are, Ishow them and have them write
out examples of theirs.
Do you understand this?
Speaker 2 (34:17):
right and then I just listen right, your sponsor has
a cynical or pessimisticattitude.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yeah, fuck that guy if he's got no hope and strength
.
I mean right if he's, but ifthat his attitude, why the fuck
did you pick him?
Speaker 2 (34:30):
Right, right, get rid of that.
Yeah, definitely your sponsorhas trouble finding time for you
.
Get rid of them.
Yeah, that's okay, it goes backto our rule.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
This doesn't mean they're bad or evil people, no,
they're just not right for you.
They're not right for youBecause a lot of people have a
problem.
We've talked about it.
Yep, how do I change sponsors?
And they'll stick out of gear.
Guilt, fear, all right, andthat's a detriment to their
sobriety.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
Right when I left, jay, I still remember asking you
, do I need to tell Jay?
And you said he'll figure itout.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
I'm like okay, well, and I knew because the way he
turned after he introduced us, Isaw that he knew.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Yeah, he knew He'd been doing this long enough.
Because, yeah, your sponsordoesn't return your messages
promptly.
I don't know, well, I don'tknow about promptly, right?
What if he's busy?
Your sponsor is rigid in his orher approach, bullshit.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Yeah, I don't have a- .
If you want a guy who's doinghey, here's what the step four
step looks like, but do it howyou want to, Right.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
Good luck and take your time.
Don't call me whenever you'reready.
Yeah, I'm going to tell you ifyou would.
Yeah, well, I was different.
I had my four step done in aday and a half and I was ready.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
I had mine done in three and a half hours.
I was ready to get that shit.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
The fuck out.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
But again are ready to go the way the big book says
it.
You know, the way the old timeboom, boom, boom.
And I'm not if you, if you goand do a different way and have
success, great, that's not theway I'm going to do it, because
god's had great success throughthis right.
The way the old time, you know,just it's right here right,
your sponsor tries topsychoanalyze you.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
We don't have, but here's a.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
We're not doctors in the hair but had, remember I
shared in the big book study twoweeks ago, had bill wilson, not
because he remember when rolandhazard went to, went overseas,
uh, he tried to go to sigmund,freud, freud was too busy.
He tried to go to adler becauseadler and carl jung were both,
uh uh, apprentice or notapprentices, but a freud, right,
(36:26):
adler wasn't available.
Freud uh, I mean adler, freudweren't available, only Carl
Jung was.
And Carl Jung out of the threeis the only one who believes in
something spiritual, anythingmetaphysical.
Had he not, that's all we'd bedoing was psychoanalyzing people
, because there's no, there'llbe no higher power in this
program and we wouldn't have aprogram either, because that's
the power.
But anyway, that's just.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
Your sponsor isn't a good listener.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
You've got to be a good listener, because it's not
about talking.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
Listen.
Yeah, your sponsor asks you torun his or her personal errands.
If you do that, for them, mowtheir.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
I've heard hey, listen older sponsors have guys
come.
Okay, now, hold on, I'm going toplay devil's advocate.
I knew an older guy.
I mean they were working thesteps.
This guy was working, I meanthey were doing step work and he
would have this young man comeover and mow his lawn.
This, this young.
Okay, hold on.
Okay again, here's, here's,here's where circumstances are
(37:21):
different.
Most times now I would say,dude, don't.
But the young man, this youngman had never been employed.
He had just been, you know thatkind, you know just right,
homeless, robbing, stealing,thieving.
He had no, no responsibility.
So this guy was trying to teachhim.
Before you go out of theworkforce, he'll have some
response for the next month anda half as we do this work.
You're going to be at my houseon saturdays.
(37:41):
You're going, this is yourresponsibility edge, you know
right, and he paid him a littlebit, but just to learn some work
ethic, right, okay?
Before he said that's not.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
That's not that's different.
But just to learn some workethic before he said that's not,
that's different, right.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
But just to do it, just to get some free labor is
bullshit, and if that's what'sgoing on, get a different
sponsor and then, introduce meto your sponsor.
Me and Larry are slappingupside the head.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
That's what cracked me up last week when Mike said,
yeah, I switched to Tom as mysponsor.
He had me wash his truck.
Your instincts tell you that heor she isn't the right sponsor
for you.
That's what.
That's what switched me to you.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Right, I just, I just knew Again, that's a
double-edged sword too.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
This guy's too rigid, this guy's, you know he's too,
you know he's a, he's a, he's adisciplinarian.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Well, maybe that's what you need.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
Get your ass through that fucking step and if it's
coming out of this book.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
If he's not telling you, in my opinion, fuck him,
then don't listen.
But if he says well, right here, on page 65, it says, and
that's something you don't wantto do, it's right here.
Do it or go get drunk, yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
So there's always qualifiers Get working or get
dead, one or the other Right.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Anyways, I think we beat the shit out of that one.
What do?
Speaker 2 (38:57):
you think I love it.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
I mean but sponsorship and choosing the
right sponsor or an appropriatesponsor, right or wrong, I
should say that's.
You know semantics, but youknow I mean.
But don't be afraid to changeright and go and if and if need
to go eyeball, eyeball to theman hey, listen, this isn't
working for me I want to workwith jim over here Go.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
But get the work done , get it done.
If that guy's got a problem,that's his problem.
And I told Blake that yesterday.
I don't give a shit who you do,I don't give a shit who you ask
to be your sponsor, just makesure you get it done.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
But remember, when you come in to AA you have an
open wound.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Right, there was another man that walked up.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
He's going to get closed by a scab if you don't do
the work and eventually openback up, or you can have God
heal you through these stepsRight, which is going to be.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
There was another gentleman.
As I pulled Blake over to theside and we were chit-chatting,
there was another gentleman comeup and was talking to him about
asking him would you like me tobe your sponsor?
Blah, blah, blah.
And in my mind I'm like, ohblake, please know who is that?
Speaker 1 (39:52):
I ain't talking about as soon as we get off this
podcast.
You better fucking tell me anduh, whatever, man, if he would
have done it, I would have justleft it I would have left it the
way it was hold on, remember Itold you, I told you a story
about when I was a year or twosober, about the guy who was not
right not an.
He was a certain type of harddrinker that never worked the
(40:12):
steps.
The young man asked me.
He goes, you know, in the backroom of primary.
Oh, you don't have to do thesteps.
I didn't.
Two weeks later that kid wasdrunk and killed a mother and
daughter.
Now he's in prison, you know,for vehicle homicide.
Now, it's not my fault that thatkid went and drank.
It's not that guy's fault,right?
It's the kid's fault, right?
However, I should have saidsomething, right?
(40:33):
Okay, yeah, I should have saidsomething Right?
No, not right.
Then.
And the moment, hey,motherfucker, I know you didn't
work the steps, but before thatman left my presence, the young
man, I should have saidsomething.
Yeah, should have said becauseyou got guilt on that, no, not
anymore.
But I did right.
I mean, me and jay had to workthrough that because jay was rob
.
That guy is not a right.
He told me a lot of that guy'sstory because jay tried to
(40:54):
sponsor you got you.
That's why I found out the guynever worked his steps.
He was a certain type of guywas new, right, you're sober
certain type of hard drinker.
He had a second dui.
He liked what he got from aa.
He wasn't in trouble, no more.
So he just stayed here.
Everybody loved him because hewas a really educated man, spoke
well.
Everybody loved to hear himshare because he knew the book
and he would sit, all the rightthings.
But he never worked a step.
(41:15):
I didn't have to work a step,you don't have to work him that
kid's in prison.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
Still, this dude actually in the middle of an aa
program, a meeting after themeeting, in the back room.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
The guy asked and I and I heard it and I didn't say
nothing, and then all thathappened and I and I went to Jay
hey, jay, this is what I heard,right, man, I feel like an ass.
He said well, he goes.
Yes, I would have saidsomething, but I understand he
goes.
It's not your fault Any of that.
Let me tell you the backstoryabout that man.
(41:44):
Now whether Jay should have,because he told me that, so I
wouldn't feel guilty, I couldput everything in perspective.
But now I would have said andsince when I've had not exact
scenarios like that, but otherscenarios, I don't care if 20,
30, 40 years sober people, I'vepulled them off to the side when
they've said stupid shit infront of newcomers?
Speaker 2 (42:01):
No, for sure, and I've listened.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
If you say that again , you and I are go to different
fellowship.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
Fuck this place right , don't do that.
That's the difference betweenbecause you're killing.
You can kill people, yeah, butthen that's and that's what I
said in the very beginning.
There's certain things that Iwon't get involved in a
conversation because it goes alittle deeper than my knowledge,
right, because I'm still alittle bit not a little bit I'm
still a lot ignorant to a lot ofin-depth stuff in this and
there's times I might overstepand I well, and it doesn't but
I'll apologize.
(42:28):
I'm gonna tell you right now Iwould take you, I would take
your advice over people 30 and40 years sober, because how deep
you go into this book, right?
So I mean I don't know whereI'm going going with that.
It's just that I'm verycautious about how deep when I
hear stuff that's not right.
I and I know for a fact it'snot right.
I will say something, but butthe way we do it.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
We don't say it right there.
No, no, no, no people, I pullpeople aside and I do it you do
it.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
But if that way, you try to correct what was possibly
said.
Same way, the guy, the guy thatwhen you and I was getting ready
to do my four-step right andsome guy pulled and I talked
about it at primary purpose andsome guy had pulled me to the
side and started telling me howhe did his four-step.
And I'm listening to this guyand I don't even remember his
(43:15):
name, nothing.
I don't think I've ever seenhim again.
I remember that guy confused meso bad that when I left there,
because I still wasn't athousand percent understanding
the four-step, I was a littlebit more confused.
Maybe you hadn't evenintroduced it to me, I just knew
it was getting ready to come.
A little bit more confused.
Maybe you hadn't evenintroduced it to me, I just knew
it was getting ready to come.
And I was so confused aboutwhat he said and then what I had
read in the book, or then youexplained it and in my mind I'm
(43:38):
like that motherfucker shouldn'thave said a goddamn word,
because he confused the shit outof me.
More harm than good he did, forI mean I for like two or three
days, I'm sure he meant I'm surehe did great things, but he
does more harm than good andthat goes back again if it's not
in, if you can't besubstantiated, what you're about
to say to someone, new right isnot found in this fucking book.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
That's why I quote it that way.
It's not me paraphrasing, it'sa fucking quote.
It's a quote not just to show.
Hey look, how smart rob is.
No, because I'm not smart, butI can memorize, memorize.
But that way they don't have.
Hey, rob, would you?
I don't have to go, I don'thave to ask rob, I can go to
page 64, because that's what hesaid.
Oh, there it is, it's in thebook.
There's your authority, right?
Speaker 2 (44:16):
and that's where I'm hoping I I mean, I I'm gonna
have to do some more studyingand get get caught up on some of
that stuff.
Anyways, rob, let's get thehell out of here.
Let's go.
Recovery unfiltered podcast atgmailcom.
Reach out to us if you got anyquestions on that, if you got,
somebody needs some help that'sright.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
I'm sorry.
There's like six f-bombs andthat's.
I'm please forgive me for thatI'll clean it up next time.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Tammy, it was all him , not me.
Yeah, recovery, unfilteredpodcast, that g what?
Speaker 1 (44:43):
my sister asked because I want to talk.
I want to clarify one thing asfar as the mike and the jason,
because we had talked about, um,uh, mike's first son, joseph
joseph, and we kind of left iton the cliffhanger.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
She goes robbie, that's something I was going to
clear up is joseph still alive.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
Yes, joseph is alive.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Uh, physically he is still impaired, mentally he's
pretty good, you know, but he isstill alive and well, you know,
I'm sorry to leave that was oneof the things I was going to
bring up, and we will, we will,and it's probably good that
Tammy yeah, I mean Joseph is.
I mean, he's around Oakdale.
Oh yeah, people know him.
Yeah, all right, let's get outof here.
Bye-bye.
Thank you for joining us today.
(45:24):
We hope you learned somethingtoday that will help you If you
did not come back next week, andwe'll try again If you like
what we heard.
Speaker 1 (45:30):
Give us a five-star review.
If you don't like what youheard, kiss my.
You can't say that, can you?
Anyway, if you don't like whatyou heard, go ahead and tell us
that too.
We'll see what we can improve.
We probably won't changenothing, but do it anyway.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
Hey, thanks Rob.
Go back next week and hopefullysomething will be different and
something will sink inunfiltered.
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