April 16, 2025 • 60 mins
Mike S pulls no punches as he shares the story of his turbulent childhood with an alcoholic, abusive father in Oakdale, California. Born into chaos, Mike describes how he'd be locked in his room until his father came home, only to receive brutal beatings that went far beyond normal discipline. "I grew up getting beat like that," he explains, "and I always joke I think I started to like it because I was stubborn."
When Mike was just 12, his life took another devastating turn—coming home from school to find the house emptied out, his mother and sisters gone. Left with only his 17-year-old brother as a parental figure, they survived out of a Coleman cooler until they found housing. These early experiences shaped Mike profoundly, instilling in him a fierce determination to be everything his father wasn't.
At 17, Mike joined the Marine Corps, escaping his chaotic upbringing and excelling in the structured environment. Despite being surrounded by Marines who drank heavily, Mike initially avoided alcohol, haunted by the memories of his father's behavior. It wasn't until his first marriage collapsed—after his son Joseph was born—that Mike began drinking regularly and experimenting with cocaine.
The story takes a heart-wrenching turn when Joseph, after coming to live with Mike and his new wife Kim, is struck by a car in a crosswalk, suffering a traumatic brain injury that left him in a coma. As Mike recounts the agonizing hospital vigil and uncertain prognosis, we see the seeds of the profound connection that would later form between Mike and Jason, whose son Tyler would experience similar trauma.
This raw conversation doesn't just chronicle a series of tragedies—it reveals how our deepest wounds can become unexpected bridges to others. Mike's unflinching honesty about his struggles with addiction, fatherhood, and breaking generational cycles offers a powerful reminder that sometimes the people who understand us best are those who've walked through similar fires.
Have you experienced trauma that still affects your relationships today? We'd love to hear your story at recoveryunfilteredpodcast@gmail.com.
Thank You for Joining Us.. Please share with friends. If you or anyone you know is struggling with alcoholism please reach out to us. We can get you help. recoveryunfilteredpodcast@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
jason's old hat.
He's been here the most.
Yeah, I have he's old hat.
He's the old hat at this, buthe's like you're right, this is
he's.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
I feel like I'm sitting across from joe rogan
but if, when he gets to hear theother ones that we did, it ties
this whole story.
Yes, it does, it's a, it's theit's that's the point.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
That's what we want epic.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
It's.
It's what we want, it's epicbut that's.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I'm glad he.
You haven't listened to jason's.
No, I'm glad he didn't.
Until this is good, and then goback and I have.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I just cry I didn't even tell my wife about this
till yesterday.
I kept thinking about it sincethe day you asked to tell her
and and jason just nailed it too, he goes.
You were just stuffing thatshit down because in my mind I
wasn't going to do it.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I know.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
I didn't want to do it, so I didn't.
So why tell her about it whenit ain't happening, right?
Speaker 3 (00:52):
He walked up to me this morning.
He goes, bro, we're not doingthis.
I said, jim, we need to do it.
And he's like I'm not doing it.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
Well, guess what?
You're here, hey, I'm going topray us in real fast and then
we're going to get going.
Heavenly Father, we thank youfor this moment.
Father, we ask that you sitwith each one of us.
Father, open our hearts, openour minds, give us peace,
knowing that we're working,working together as men to get
through toughest things that wecan get through.
Father, I thank you for Jasonand Mike.
Father, I ask that you layhands on them and give them
(01:22):
peace as they work through thistrauma in their lives.
Father, that everything welearn today, everything we speak
of today, saves another soul.
Everything we do is to save.
Father, we look to educate andto get other people to come to
you.
Father, we pray this in yourname, amen.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Amen.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
Let's go to work, boys.
Give us a minute, we'll bringyou in.
You sit on the toilet.
Don't you use that as yourmeditation?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
my wife not your wife , nor anybody listening to this
podcast has eaten a shitsandwich we didn't have a hand
in making welcome to recovery.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
I'm phil dirt I'm larry.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
I'm an alcoholic.
I am rob.
I am also an alcoholic.
We are not professionals.
There are no letters after ournames.
We know very little.
However, you will hear the wordgod and a four-letter word in
the same sentence.
You will also be offended.
So if you are easily offended,just pass us by.
This podcast is not for you.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
Our opinions are just that.
If you don't agree with whatwe're saying, that's okay.
We're going to love you anyways.
We are not in any wayaffiliated with AA.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
So sit back, grab a beverage of your choice and get
ready, let's go.
Hello, rob, what, what's up?
Larry, how are you?
I'm excellent buddy.
Thank you for the sounds.
I'm gonna drink right now.
I'm swallowing, motherfucker,hey, not already the f-bombs you
prick, I didn't do it.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
You said it because you caused me to do it.
Do I sound all right?
Speaker 1 (02:33):
he's got my, he's got my mic turned down I do not oh
yeah, I do sorry, such an ass.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
Welcome back, welcome back hey, you can reach out to
us at recovery unfilteredpodcast at gmailcom.
That's recovery unfilteredpodcast at gmailcom.
Guess what happened yesterday?
Fucker, you turned three yearsold, still shitting green.
Hey, we're gonna do anotherwhole podcast later down because
there's something.
There's some stuff I want totalk about going up to the
(03:02):
birthday celebrations katiebrought that up that says know,
I still go through such atremendous period of reflection
during those last few weeks Leadup to your birthday, yeah, and
I want to go through those, Iwant to use those to maybe share
that, get that out a little bit.
So we're going to do that alittle bit down the road.
But guess what we got today,boy.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
What do we have today ?
Boy, boy we got a good onetoday, boys he must have saw me
when the water was cold.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
That's bullshit jason , what's up?
What's up, my brother what's up, brothers?
Damn, it's good to see you yeah, good to see you.
Love you guys, man who do yougot sitting across from you?
Speaker 3 (03:38):
uh mike stillman, my uh, my brother mikey.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
Yes, yep, welcome brother.
Thanks, how you feeling?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
fine.
How does mine feel?
Speaker 4 (03:53):
insecure, neurotic and emotional there you go yeah,
we're gonna be good man, we'regonna be good, so we're gonna
dig in for a little bit talk,talk to Mike, a little bit talk
about his.
You know we we preference thispodcast last week, so our
listeners are a little aware ofthe situation.
We know that.
You know Jason and Mike's sonswere in a in an accident
(04:16):
together.
We're going to get to that alittle bit later, but we're
going to get to know Mike firstbecause we all know Jason, right
, we if you don't, if you.
You remember Jason is three andfour and number 20.
Right, three and four was astory.
Number 20 is his life after,with his wife Jenny, who's got
an amazing podcast going.
What's her name of her podcast?
I got you bitch, it's alright,my wife don't remember mine,
(04:42):
brother and I've been doing thisshit almost a year.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
I thought it was Jenny from the Block because
Bonnie watches it.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Yeah, it is Jenny from the Block.
Sobriety is the shit show.
So it's because Bonnie goes.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Hey, I listened to Jenny from the Block today and
she kind of said this I was justassuming that was the name of
the podcast.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
I knew I was going to get you on that one.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
So, mike, tell us about yourself.
Man, give us a little bit ofyour background, like starting
where.
Where did you grow up?
How did you grow up?
Oh, okay, I was born in FortWorth, texas.
Wow.
Moved over here when I wasprobably two.
Okay, we lived in the Bay for alittle bit but then moved to
Oakdale when I was three.
So I've been there ever since.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
And let's see.
I guess they always talk aboutthe parents.
My dad was an alcoholic.
If it wasn't for that, he wouldhave been a professional golfer
.
Wow, Because he golfed pro-amand all that stuff.
But he's too busy, according tomy mom's words, chasing women
and drinking.
Oh shit.
(05:44):
Well, one comes with the other,doesn't it?
Yeah, put a damper on being apro, but he golfed with like Lee
Trevino and all the old-timers,wow, like that.
So he was pretty good.
Good, he didn't have me.
I learned what I know aboutgolf watching him.
But what I learned?
I became the beer bitch.
Beer bitch, you know.
(06:05):
Go get me a beer bitch.
And then I remember beinglittle I love it when his friend
don his best friend they'd needa beer and I get to go get two.
So I get swigs out of each ofthem, right, hell yeah, and it
tasted like shit, but I still.
It was coors regular, right.
And so, yeah, I grew up withthat, seeing my dad knock the
(06:29):
crap out of my mom, throw herthrough windows and stuff like
that.
It was just the way it was.
Cops bringing him home drunkBack in the day, like 3,500
people in Oakdale, they justthrew him on the couch and said
don't let them leave, right, youknow.
So, yeah, that was it, it wasjust normal to me.
(06:50):
But then they divorced.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
How old were you then , Mike?
Speaker 2 (06:57):
I was probably 11.
But you had an older brotheryeah, my brother Woody's five
years older.
We moved in, came home fromschool one day First, I'll just
say this real quick my mom tookme.
She was in the bathroom doingher hair like getting all
primped before dad came home.
It was like back in those days,dinner on the table that's the
(07:20):
way my dad was.
And she called me in thebathroom and she says hey, if
mommy and daddy weren't togetheranymore, who would you want to
live with?
And just a kid like that.
I'm going like my mind juststarted going.
Well, if I stay with my dad, itwould just be me and him and
(07:41):
I'm not dealing with my threesisters anymore, and maybe he
would take me to a ball game.
I still remember that thoughtand so I said I guess, dad, I
had no clue I was coming up.
Then who knows how much longerI'm coming home from school
Cloverland, cutting through thepark we lived up on East C
(08:03):
Street.
I got up on that street,gilbert Park, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Yeah, I remember when they were building it.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
When they were building it I thought that sand
area, they were doing thatcement wall.
I was like, sweet, this isgoing to be a swimming pool
right down the street.
It ended up being a sand park,but anyways, I come up through
there and there was a car infront of our house.
We lived down towards the endof East C, right there and my
mom I could see my mom and mysisters bailing in and all of a
(08:34):
sudden taillights and my faceturned like red.
I could feel the blood go,because I think I realized what
was happening and I rememberrunning down the street and it
went around the corner and Iwalked in the house and it was
empty, like flat empty.
There was nothing left and meand my brother and my dad were
(08:56):
living out of a Coleman icechest until we got.
We were the second family tomove into Wrangler Apartments
right down the street yeah, Iknow where they are Because they
had furnished and then my dadsplits, moves in with his
girlfriend, just leaves me andmy brother there.
How old were you then?
12.
Wow, and my brother was 17.
(09:18):
He was like a junior.
So he became dad Right, and sohe basically had to raise meat,
whatever, cooked Thanksgiving.
Some drunk dude my dad's friendstumbles up to our place drunk
and he eats Thanksgiving with usand we're like, okay, whatever.
But that was pretty muchchildhood.
(09:42):
Then it went living with dad,living with mom, trying it out
wherever, and stepdads of themonth and boyfriend Some of them
.
I didn't know if she wasmarried to or not, and they were
all.
I have nothing against bikers,but they were all like biker
trash Beards, no shirt, comehome, there's a Harley sitting
(10:02):
in the dining room.
You're like what the hell?
And so that was my first fightwith an adult was this dude?
I think at that time I was inabout eighth or ninth grade and
I had been wrestling sinceseventh grade.
So the way this guy wanted tojack me up was challenge me to
(10:24):
wrestle so that way he could doit like legal.
Now I'd always ignore him andthen finally I told my
stepbrother next time he doesthat we're going out in the
backyard.
And so it happened again.
I said all right.
So I threw a move on him and Inailed him with a head and arm,
flipped him, spun around behindhim and he was screaming bloody
(10:46):
murder.
And I'm thinking this dudewants me to let up and he's
gonna be full-grown man's gonnabeat the crap out of me, right?
So I just was working him onthe ground.
I was behind him and I wastrying to work something, you
know, and all of a sudden I feltsomething sticking out of his
back and he was screaming.
And sudden I felt somethingsticking out of his back and he
was screaming and I felt thisthing sticking out of his back
(11:08):
and it was that chicken wing,you know, your shoulder blade or
whatever and it just popped outthe back.
I grabbed this thing and I'mlike Mom, you better take this
dude to the hospital.
And I went and he was only hadthat much that they didn't cut.
They had to rebuild,reconstruct his whole stuff.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Do you think you learned from his mistake?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
We got along after that I bet you did.
He didn't want to rest.
I went and apologized to him.
I said I'm sorry I ruined yourgolf game because he used to
golf and we got along fine.
But that's how I grew up, withthose type of people moving in
the house and thinking they weremy dad and nobody like I told
(11:51):
you at a breakfast that whenpeople tell me to do something,
it ain't happening.
If you ask me, I'll do anything.
And then that's when one of theguys said Mike, will you please
do your steps.
Versus your steps.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
That was yeah, mike was not one of my biggest fans.
No, he tells a story.
He says it in the room too.
He don't give a fuck.
He says it right in the wholeroom to everybody.
He tolerates me now ruinedeverybody.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
He tolerates me now.
Well, actually god gave me thetolerance because I hate.
When I I've met him before andI'd hear him talking to me, it
was like somebody telling mewhat to do, or other people what
to do.
And after his first book study,when I showed up with my
brother-in-law, I said oh, fuck,you're talking about his
thursday nights.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
Yeah, I forgot that thing was thursday.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
I don't even want to be here to listen to this guy
and we walked out of it and I,my brother-in-law, was right by
me and I go well, that sucked.
And as I was walking to mytruck, I go okay, you're getting
an attitude where what takes meout all the time is not going
back to a meeting you recognizedit and I said well, next week
(13:15):
maybe it'll be a little better.
I told Bruce, and so we comeback and I remember saying that
to myself walking in and it wasa way better.
I was more open, I guess, andlistening, willing, willing all
that because I never was beforeand that's one thing I've been
learning this time around waswhat they teach Open-minded,
(13:39):
willing and learning how tolisten, and that principle
before personality thing, right,because I would look at a dude
and say you know, I don't likethis dude and I don't even know
him, right, you know, at work oranywhere, but I started
practicing that principle.
(14:00):
It sounds weird saying these AAterms, it's like you know.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
Welcome to your life, it's, it's true.
They come out of me now withouteven thinking about it.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Right, and it's the truth, it's true.
And the second book study walkout with bruce again, because I
take him to all the meetingsbecause he don't have a license
and and I go well, that one wasbetter.
And then on the way to my truck, I can vividly remember I'm
thinking about it, thinkingabout why I'm thinking the way
I'm thinking.
And that's when this part Roblikes.
(14:38):
And when I said you know what Igo, it just hit me, it was God.
He said.
Well, the first thing he saidyou probably don't like him
because he's a lot like you,which is true.
And the next thing was I saidyou know what I told Bruce, he's
just zealous for the program.
(14:59):
And he looked at me I go, hejust wants people to get it
Right, and so he's zealous forit and I can get on board with
that, I can dig that Right.
And so then I told him I lovehim.
There you go, but at first Istill want to buy him the plain
language book to screw him up.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Burn that book to the ground.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Because he quotes the other one Right and I'm like'm
gonna screw this guy up and buyhim one of these.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
Oh, there, it goes, sorry that.
Uh, so after, after that, whatage did you put that guy in the
hospital?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
he was in junior high junior high I was like 11 or 12
, something like that so what?
Speaker 4 (15:41):
when did you move on with your life like?
Did you go through high schoolliving with mom?
Speaker 2 (15:46):
I'm glad you asked some questions.
I bounced, I ended up livingwith did you go to oklahoma?
you graduated oklahoma no, Iwent to tracy high, okay,
because that's where we foundout where my mom moved, because
we didn't know.
And so, uh, I went to a littlebit of junior high in Tracy and
I went up to a junior at TracyHigh and I was wrestling there
(16:09):
and stuff.
And then my career year there.
We used to go to the Tracy High, me and my stepbrother, and
break in the main gym so wecould play basketball on the
hardwood.
And one day we were going andwe're climbing over this big
fence on a rolling gate, big 10foot tall chain link fence, and
I was up at the top and it felloff the rails and so I'm walking
(16:32):
backwards trying to keep itfrom crunching me and the top
rails cracked my melon open.
So that ended my undefeatedcareer in 11th grade, couldn't
wrestle no more and I was on amission to go all the way.
I had made a what do you call itgoal in my head that I was
gonna go undefeated and I wasuntil that and I couldn't
(16:54):
wrestle no more.
So then I was living with, uh,girlfriends, grandparents,
things like that.
They were getting welfare forme, and so from probably 14, I
was just living wherever, wow.
And then I didn't know what Iwas going to do with my life
because it was just total chaos.
(17:14):
I mean, our fun as kids waswe'd get locked out of the house
, door would get locked and youcouldn't come home until the
door was open.
So whenever they got donesmoking their weed or whatever
they were doing you'd go up andgo take back off.
So me and my stepbrother, wewere just crazy kids, nothing to
do.
We'd just go.
(17:34):
What do you want to do?
Let's go get the cops to chaseus.
So we would just run amok andget cops to chase us and it was
fun.
And then my mom called me in forjuvenile, uncontrollable, and
the cops were trying to arrestme and they were chasing me all
(17:56):
over Tracy for about three daysand they couldn't catch me.
And I'd be right at the househiding in the alley while the
cops were talking to my mom andshe thought she was all excited.
Oh, you got him when theypulled up and I still remember
the cop going no, we've seen thelittle bastard all over town,
but he's too goddamn fast, wecan't catch him.
And and I'd be back therelaughing.
(18:17):
And then my sister ratted meout and they ambushed me in the
alley and I jumped the fence andwent through these people's
back down their driveway andthere was cops waiting there.
So I'm like gigs up, brother,yeah and and uh.
But I conned them when we got inthe house because I was in gym
shorts when they were chasing mered shorts and I had been in
(18:39):
that stuff for like three daysrunning around town and I conned
the cop.
True story.
I said hey, since you guys aretaking me, can I at least put
clothes on?
And they're standing there inthe hallway.
And he goes which room is yours?
And I said the first door onthe right.
So they're standing therewatching.
Well, the first door on theright was into the garage and so
(19:00):
I went out that door, out theother door right across from it,
and I was on.
That was part of the three days, because they lost me right
there and they never got meagain.
But my Were you drinking?
Speaker 4 (19:12):
Was any alcohol, drugs, anything going on at that
time?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Nope, I hated people that drank.
Okay, because that's what-?
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Because that's who you were raised in.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Right Raised was-, my dad would come home.
This is crazy, but my mom wouldlock me in my room.
I remember it was third gradeat that time.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
At.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Cloverland, my school Lock me in the room until my
dad came home.
He would come home, walkthrough the door, beat the fuck
out of me and then go close thedoor, beat the fuck out of me
and then go close the door andso and I'm talking like people
get hit with a belt and all thatthat would have been cool, but
my dad hit with fists, knees,all that stuff and I'd be curled
(19:54):
up in the corner and the bed.
And then I learned if Isquirted tears he'd quit, and so
I'd squirt tears, he'd.
He'd close the door and I'dgive him the finger to the door
and I'd jump out my window andtake off.
And that was third grade.
So I grew up getting beat likethat and I always joke.
I think I started to like it,you know, because I was stubborn
(20:16):
.
It didn't bother me, I couldtake a beating.
It was like I was preparedEvery day.
I was locked in the room so I'mgoing okay, he's home, get
ready.
Then he'd leave, I'd flip himoff, jump out the window and uh,
so that was.
And then the stepdads triedthat shit, but like the one I
tore his whole stuff up.
(20:38):
Didn't work, it didn't happen.
No more, you know you get thatage, yeah, when you're my dad.
I went to stay with him once inwork for a summer and I was
walking out the door of thisapartment he lived in Modesto
and he was coming after me and Iturned around and squared up on
him and he just looked at meand stopped and turned around
and went back to the kitchenBecause my mind had just said
(21:05):
you, you're not gonna hit me, nomore, right, it's not gonna be
the same.
So I hated people that drank,and just because grew up in it,
right?
So I don't know when I um, oh,let's just get back to I quit
high school in the middle of11th grade because I hated
school.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
I just and you couldn't wrestle anymore.
Yeah, so why?
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Yeah.
So I had grades, whatever.
I had okay grades.
I got A's in shop and PE.
I got A's in whatever.
I wanted to get an A in Right.
And then I just decided youknow, I'm like in Sacramento
(21:46):
living with an ex-stepdad and mystepbrother and I was supposed
to sign up for school.
I went and signed up and neverwent and I'm like what am I to
do with myself?
And all I was thinking aboutwas how am I going to get my
next burger?
You know how am I going to live?
And I, you know no skills.
I used to think if I knew howto read a tape measure, I'll be
fine, because I got a job in acabinet shop when I was still in
(22:08):
school doing that workexperience, right, so I could
build things and figured I wasprobably going to be a cabinet
maker or something.
So I went in the Marine Corps17.
And we had to drive down tofind my mom in Stockton and have
her sign and then I was off andgone and my brother was an
ex-Marine your older brother.
(22:29):
Yeah, he went in when he was 17.
Same thing, same reason.
He grew up in the same ship buthe wasn't the chosen one to get
beat.
He was old enough to bounce andgo stay with somebody and I was
still too small.
But I still remember my mom wassigning the papers and my
brother goes Mom, they're goingto kill him.
(22:50):
Because he knew how I was.
Like, fuck you, do it yourself.
He knew what Marine Corps bootcamp was like and I knew I knew
what I was doing, that I waschoosing this, so I excelled in
that.
I got a meritorious promotionin boot camp, became a squad
leader and didn't get fired.
They usually fire them andthrow another one in.
(23:11):
So I got a meritorious out ofthat.
I went to school.
I was top Marine in my school.
I got another meritorious, so Iwas like a year ahead of
everybody that went in at thesame time as me as far as money.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Because, because, to me, it's all about money right.
More money, higher the rate,more money, more money and I can
move off base and whatever.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
So then did you start drinking any drinking here, any
partying or just just just Iused to laugh at all the jar
heads because they'd get paidand we'd go to memphis where our
school was in millington,tennessee, and they would go
just get hammered.
Their check would be gone in acouple days, right right,
because the chow hall would beempty and I'd be like sweet, I'd
just walk right in I never gotthat either.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
I would always get his eyes with the navy.
That's where I was going.
You could have missed the boat.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
You could have been loaning money charging points.
I know my mind went straight tobusiness.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Some jar heads like when I was in yuma, arizona.
This dude had his own beater,uh rental car fleet and he would
rent them to the jar heads sothey could go to mexico and and
all that and or they'd catchsnakes and get the venom and
make money.
There's always trying to makemoney, that's funny.
And then they're broke theirchow hall lines around the
(24:23):
building right and um, but so Ididn't drink.
They even sold it in like sodamachines.
Oh yeah, beer was in the.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Really what years were you in the marines?
Speaker 2 (24:32):
I went in at 80 to 84 and then two years on call or
whatever.
Okay, so it was back.
The only thing that was goingon when I went in that we they
were praying that they couldwatch us get killed in Iran when
the hostages.
A lot of people don't rememberthat, but we had a pussy.
President Reagan went and gotthem.
(24:54):
The day he was inaugurated, theysent them home they were
prepping us to go there andpraying that they could watch.
They couldn't wait to see usget killed, shit like that.
They're all non.
Couldn't wait to see us getkilled, shit like that.
Our, our, our, sergeant,they're all non-vets.
So they were psycho.
But um, it was cool.
That was the best thing thatkept me out of prison because I
(25:15):
I was crazy when I was young.
We'd break into school to theplay basketball and then we got
to dropping into the upperwindows, into the offices
finding the coffee, money, stonecold sober yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
That's crazy.
So what did you do after theMarines?
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Well, I left out the part that leads up to my son,
joseph.
When I went in the Marines, Iwas with this gal and she was
pregnant.
I found out she was pregnantwhile I was in boot camp or
something, and so Joe was bornin January of 81.
(25:58):
Right, I was still in Tennesseeand so all that happened and I
don't know where I was goingwith that, just bringing Joe
into the story, and he, becausehe was born and were you married
to his mom or?
(26:18):
you know, I think we were by,you know, just going to the
court thing, right.
I don't really remember, butyeah, she had my name, okay.
So I really don't even rememberthat because I was like a
really you don't realize howyoung you are.
But I see my boot camp picturesand stuff and I look and I go,
man, you're just a kid.
(26:39):
Right, I was still wet behindthe ears, because I look at
17-year-olds today and I cannoteven imagine them being where I
was when I was 17.
That is a true fact.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
I mean I can't.
Even They'd crawl up a ball andcry in a corner.
They would know what handledthem.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
I can't imagine it and I'm like, but it's the way
you were raised.
I mean, we were raised wrongand my whole life.
Speaker 4 (27:07):
Well, I don raised wrong.
And my whole life, well, Idon't know.
Hold on a second.
You say that certain thingsabout that was wrong, but
they're.
My childhood made me who I am,and it was a motherfucker too,
yeah, so it made me who I am.
I don't like there was nothing.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
We were all together.
There was nothing right about.
We were in those canals and ourparents, our brothers beat our
ass right yeah it wasn't like itis now no
Speaker 2 (27:23):
no oh you can't offend nobody no go, kick the
shit out of him right hold hishead under the water right that
does it a little bit.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
When he stops moving, let him up, yeah yeah, my, my
brother.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
He just to say one thing when he was my dad I
called it um, so he was raisingme right, and so I was running a
muck in oakdale and shooting,going to alleys with bb guns and
shooting, having bb gun wars,you know, straight out trying to
shoot each other, and umshooting people's, dogs and cats
in the alley.
And, as my brother finds outand he was still I could still
(27:59):
picture me he'd have me in theheadlock, just knuckling my head
all the way home, uh, draggingme up them stairs, screaming
like a bitch.
And then the cops come knockingon the door and I'm like, yes,
and they're questioning mybrother, and the whole time I'm
in the bathroom, straight acrossfrom the door, like this, ready
to lock it because he's gonnakill me, right.
(28:20):
And the cop says we got a phonecall.
You're beating on your brother.
He goes, yeah, but he tells himwhat I'm doing.
He goes, okay, okay, but youwait till your dad gets home.
Let your dad beat the shit outof him, yeah.
And so they shut the door andI'm standing there, my brothers,
and I'm like he's got to go towork, right, because he worked
at birchall's nursery andbrawley's and slept in school.
(28:41):
Oh, wow, okay, wow, okay, right, and um, coach Wingo tried to
get my brother to come and livewith him GW.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
Yeah, good man, good man Legend.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
My brother was a great wrestler and track and
Wingo wanted him to come live sohe could have a life, have a
high school, and um, he, youknow he didn't.
He was taking care of me but Istood there with that door
locked thinking he's got to goto work, right, and I was scared
to death and so I was probablyin there two, three hours
thinking he's just waiting andfinally I go.
(29:14):
He had to leave by now and Iopened the door and he's
probably been gone since theminute the cops left.
But that was my dad and mybrother.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
So how old are you now, Mike?
Speaker 2 (29:22):
62.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
brother, but uh so how old are you now, mike?
62, so you're okay.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Okay, I knew you were older than us, but I didn't
know much jason and my wife wereabout the same age, I think,
because I don't know if she knewyou that was oakdale in a
different time.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Man, yeah, that was a whole different.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Yeah, yeah, yeah so, all right, let's go back to
joseph.
Yeah, he was born and thingsdidn't work out with me and his
mom.
She left me for an ovary.
I still didn't drink At thattime.
I started treating myself likeon Fridays because I was all
about taking care of family.
Right, I'd get a six-pack ofMoosehead, if you guys remember
(29:58):
that.
Oh yeah, and that's how I'dtreat myself on payday I'd get a
six-pack of Moosehead, flop onthe living room floor where I
lived on California Street anddrink that six-pack or part of
it or whatever, listening to mytower stereo thing.
You know that's how I drank.
(30:19):
You know that was it Becausethe rest of the money had to go
To the family.
Yeah, so it was no big deal.
And then she ends up splittingwith a dude that got a
million-dollar law settlementand I come home one day and same
thing Shit's gone.
Just like when I was a kid, andthat was it.
(30:42):
She was just a materialisticperson, and your mom, no, this
is joseph's mom.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
Okay, did she take joseph?
Speaker 2 (30:50):
yeah, yeah, and they, she moved in with him in an
apartment because they weregonna.
You know, he just got hismillion bucks, so the mansion
and the cars were coming soonand uh, so that ended that and
that's probably where I starteddrinking a little more at that
time, and not all day, every day, but after work I'd go with
(31:12):
some buddies over.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
What are you doing for?
Speaker 2 (31:14):
work uh hogan manufacturing there in eskalon
when that happened.
And then some buddies fromeskalon, you know, they'd go to
pierre's it was called thislittle I don't know what it was.
It was a restaurant, but theyhad a bar and my buddy was a
regular there because he couldpick the hors d'oeuvres for
happy hour.
So so I started partying moreon the weekends, got into a
(31:35):
little coke.
You know I was just going amokbecause, okay, I'll flash back
real quick bro no how I grew up,though, how screwed up it was.
what little bit you heard.
My whole life I told myself thatis never gonna happen to me and
I'm never gonna treat my wifelike that.
I'm never gonna beat my kids,and to this day I think I I
(31:59):
remember spanking on the buttMichael, my only son, with my
second wife one time, because Icould look at him and make him
cry Right or my voice would doit and I grew up saying I'm
never going to get a divorce,never going to beat my kids,
(32:20):
never going to do everythingthat I grew up in.
That was my goal in life.
So when that happened, when shesplit I think that was just now
I can think about like, okay,everything I thought my whole
life was going to be just lefthappened to me and no part of me
.
I wasn't an abuser.
I wasn't an abuser, I wasn't adrinker.
(32:42):
I just brought home the moneyand took care of my family and
did everything like I said, theway it's supposed to be you go
to work, take care of yourfamily.
And then I think now I canthink about that and say, yeah,
that was the beginning of theyou know, not being able to live
(33:04):
on life's terms.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
I got you not being of your life on life's terms
right, I got you the beginningof your life yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
So I got a DUI.
I was on a motorcycle because Iused to just go run amok.
Like right after that happened,I was just like out there, how
old were you right here?
Let's say 24, something likethat.
Right after that happened, Iwas just like out there, how old
were you right here, let's say24.
Okay, something like that 24,25.
So I kicked into drinking afterwork.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Start touching on some cocaine, come on.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Yep and drinking.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
What was your drink?
Beer or whiskey Beer?
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Okay, mostly Moosehead, probably Coors Light.
I didn't go to hard stuff tillthis last run.
I got you this.
Last time I went it was allstraight.
Coors light, just 30 packsafter 30 packs that's.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
I could drink a lot of jam right there.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Yeah, until it stops working I was yeah and uh, where
was I going with that?
Oh, yeah, so I started, just, Iguess, not knowing what the
hell.
Everything happened that I hadplanned or thought was not going
to happen.
So my life was over, you know,fuck it at that point right,
yeah, fuck it.
(34:17):
Exactly, I didn't care.
I was driving around drunk on amotorcycle all the time and
didn't care.
Drunk on a motorcycle all thetime and didn't care, I'd end up
at the series drive-in.
Just all of a sudden they'recruising around down the highway
, everything just gone, you know, and I got the cops.
Insanity, the cops got me.
(34:38):
I was going down f street inoakdale, right by the 7-eleven
on the riverbank side of town, Icall it and I seen two cop cars
in the parking lot and I had myblinker on to turn because I
lived right by there and Ithought, okay, just keep going
straight, but no, your blinker'son.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
You start thinking too much.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Yeah, they're going to, if you didn't, you know.
So I turn and I go, get by ablock and hang a quick right,
and then there they are with thelights.
And so they field tested me andI pissed them off because they
told me to say my ABCs and Isang them like a kindergartner.
(35:18):
And he goes okay, now say thembackwards.
And I said you couldn't give metwo weeks and I wouldn't be
able to say them backwards.
Then he did stand on one leg,put your back and touch your
nose, and I just fell into thepeople's front yard and then
into the back of the cop car.
That was the one and only dui Iever had I got.
(35:40):
I paid him back, though,because I puked all over the
back of his car on the way andit was a cop everybody loved in
town barth yep yeah, knowing,wow, that's crazy, and I was
laughing because it was wintertime and that one he was.
It happened right when he'spulling up to the jail and I
(36:00):
thought to myself yeah, when youget in your car with your
heater on, you're gonna lovethat did you have rob?
Speaker 3 (36:06):
do you have any interactions with Barth?
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Nothing like that.
No, she banged at him.
For sure He'd pull you over andrun dig through the car.
Speaker 3 (36:13):
Yeah, just a dick.
Speaker 4 (36:14):
You know what?
He bailed me out one night.
No shit, yes, he did.
He bailed me and another friendand Shane you out.
Yeah, he bailed us out.
We got in some trouble.
Trouble, uh, his cousin.
We ended up in the front lawnof a friend.
We ended up in the front yardof some people right around the
corner from I can't evenremember.
(36:35):
Anyways, we were hiding insideof her house.
She was protecting us and hefigured out real fast where we
were at and he shined the lightand I'm sitting there looking
out the window like thisshepherd I see you.
So I came out there and he readme and me and shane, the riot
act, and he made us walk aroundthe corner and talk to the
(36:55):
homeowners and told them we'drebuild the fence, so, and then
he says, okay, you get yourasses home.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
So we did he had a lot of that story before, bro,
from someone else.
Yeah, oh yeah, I have, I don'tknow how we didn't die yeah yeah
, it was.
Speaker 4 (37:09):
It was insane.
I could not believe that he didthat for us.
You know, I ran into I don'tknow how we went down.
I ran into him at a um, at adinner one night and he was
doing secure.
After he retired he was doingsecurity for, uh uh, one of the
the bank companies that getbanks brinks, brinks.
He was doing backyard securitybut but he wasn't near the prick
(37:31):
that everybody thought he was.
He did do a lot for the kids.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
He let us go a few times, but he booked us a few
times, a bunch of times.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
They had no choice with me.
Speaker 4 (37:42):
I had to go down.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Anyway.
So when did?
Speaker 1 (37:46):
you meet your current wife.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
Oh oh yeah, that's what.
I was sitting here justthinking where's this go from
there?
Well, she split and it's rightaround christmas.
I remember that because thereain't gonna be no christmas.
Um, I wasn't gonna do a treeand all this stuff, and then I
ended up.
That's a crazy story.
He he kicked this gal out thathe had been with for years, the
(38:10):
millionaire guy that my wifewent and eventually married and
had a couple kids, and they'redivorced now too.
But karma, I guess they call it.
But um.
So she he kicks her out of theupstairs apartment.
She moves in with a friend inthe bottom third apartment.
Well, she thought when thesplit up happened that we were
(38:30):
just going to like, swap, likeshe's going to come live with me
the gal.
He just kicked out the gal hejust kicked out like he took my
marriage, my wife, and the onehe's gonna marry when he gets
his million.
Apparently he wasn't, and in myopinion she was way better
looking and hotter than my ex,and so I couldn't figure out
what was wrong with this dude.
And it turned out he wantedwhat I had, he had a thing on me
(38:55):
and so whatever he could do to,I mean seriously, yeah, wow,
because I'm like going why, youknow why you kicking that out
for this and a marriage, andblah, blah, blah, right.
So anyways, she's trying to gether hooks in me.
I remember she came a couple ofdays after we found out about
the affair, or whatever she.
(39:17):
She comes and puts a lip lockon me in my kitchen, right, and
I'm like like Forrest Gump.
I'm like she tastes likecigarettes because she smoked
and I was like going what thehell?
I wasn't having none of it,right?
My mind wasn't like, yeah, thiswould be cool.
I'm thinking I'm splitting toNevada where my dad lived.
(39:38):
I'm getting out of Dodge, I gotto get out of here, and so she
got off me and I said, hey, Idon't know what you're going to
do, barbara, but I'm going toNevada, but she was still trying
angling.
And so this girl drops her offat my house one day because she
had a car and no license.
Barbara and this girl who Ididn't know who she was yet, had
(40:02):
a license and no car.
So she drives her over to myhouse and drops comes in for a
minute and I'm all about thisgirl.
She drives her over to my houseand drops comes in for a minute
and I'm all about this girlthat drove her over here and
ends up being my wife now,kimberly.
And so we're sitting theretalking and I meet her again and
we're talking and we're justhitting it off.
We're talking about God, allkinds of cool things.
(40:25):
I was into right and not beingmaterial, I could just see she
grew up like me, and I found outway more later, as we stayed
together, that she grew up worsethan me.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
Wow, that's saying something, brother.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
Yeah, beaten with batons, you know those things
kids used to play with untilthey peed, you know.
And her side was alcoholic drugaddicts.
She's the only one in that clanthat didn't go off on none of
that, my wife.
So I can't get this girl out ofmy mind.
(41:00):
She loves telling this storyand I'm like it's so mushy.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Let's hear it.
Let's hear it I love mushy.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
I couldn't get her out of my mind.
Seriously, I was thinking abouther all day at work.
And so I finally get thecourage of because I don't have
to ask nobody for a date, orbecause I used to have the
attitude like, you know, you'rechicken to go ask a girl to
dance or let alone go out withyou.
Then I got to where, well, allthey can do is say no, right,
you know, if you don't, younever get a.
(41:28):
Get a yes, if you don't getsome no's or get something right
.
So I decided to go call her.
She worked at the nutcracker.
Oh boy, my favorite.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
She went yeah, yeah, and she's fondue, oh yeah, it's
shrimp scampi I love.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Well, they were grooming her there to manage the
place and she was 20, I was 25,so this before cell phones.
And so barbara, the other gal'strying to get her hooks with me
, is at my house.
So I leave to a pay phone andto call the nutcracker and try
and get to talk to kim.
Right, and this, this is thepart that that kills me.
(42:05):
Like this, this took my ego tolike nothing.
I go, can I speak to Kim?
And she gets on the phone andgoes hello, and I go hi, this is
Mike.
And she goes Mike, whoApparently I wasn't in her mind
as much as she was in yours.
(42:26):
She says Mike who, and then Iexplain she says Mike who, and
then I explained she goes oh hey, then it changed.
I go, I'd just like to know ifyou'd like to get to know me
better.
And she said well, sure.
So we made a date.
I picked her up from work andwe went and cruised out around
the reservoir, the old trestlebridge, and kicked back there
(42:47):
talking.
Then I'd take her back to work.
It was just her break and thenit just evolved from there.
We ended up getting married.
Where was Joseph at?
During this?
Joseph was living with his momand the abusive stepdad.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
In the upstairs apartment or in their mansion.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
In the upstairs apartment at that time?
Yeah, upstairs apartment.
Or in their mansion In theupstairs apartment at that time,
yeah.
And then it was just reallyweird because my wife I left
that part out she lived in thedownstairs apartment where that
gal moved in, okay, so that'show they came over together.
So Barbara still thought shehad a chance, I guess, and I was
(43:28):
already dead set on kim.
So I go driving over toapartments one evening and I
knock on the door and I'm justgonna try and get kim.
There's no phones back inlandlines.
So the door opens and barbarasees me and she jumps up, gets a
big smile.
She says I can still picture.
She says, hey, what, what'sgoing on?
And kim's sitting there on thecouch just like pretending she
(43:50):
ain't there.
And I go, uh, I came to see herand she looks.
She's like oh my god, thiscouldn't be any worse, you know.
And she's sitting there notknowing what to do and barbara's
standing at the door lookinglike what, what the hell?
And I'm staring at Kim andshe's looking at me like what.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
Motherfucker, you just put me in a bag.
Yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
I go well, are you going to get up, or what?
Just like exact words.
And she still quotes it and shegoes I should have known then
to run.
Yeah, I should have ran.
And so, anyways, joe was livingwith them and he was mentally
abusing Joe and, I would say,treating him like he was me,
(44:36):
because he's the one that brokeup the family.
And then he's treating him Iwould find out Joe's starting to
act up at school.
And Joe's is four or five.
At that time he's like probably, yeah, somewhere around there,
five, six.
He was at Magnolia and he wasstarting to act out at school
(44:58):
and weird things, you know, andI knew what was going on.
And then he told me and I foundout some things.
So I went over there and had alittle powwow with the stepdad
and, uh, that didn't go good forhim, or you?
No, the powwow didn't go goodbecause he didn't learn.
Basically, I'd right, Ithreatened him, if he ever did
(45:22):
something like that or laid ahand on him, he'd regret the day
he ever met the galleys withand I'd be in the middle of
their living room with my toiletand pickup, right in the middle
of their dining table.
And that kind of scenarioalmost happened once.
But my ex-father and I got meout of there before the cops
came, because when I found outwhat he was doing I went over
(45:45):
there and I went to talk to themom Joe's mom, my ex about just
me and her Talked for a secondon the porch about Joe.
He came out and said get off myproperty, you get in the house,
you get off my property.
So I, right, hooked him in hismelon and he ran in the garage
(46:05):
and grabbed a bat and it waslike a hockey fight.
And when I heard the bat I hadhim shirt comes over his head
and then the whole neighborhoodcame out and rat-packed me and
so my shirt was going over myhead and so I grew up playing
some hockey in Jersey when wewere kids.
My dad's got a transfer there soI knew I had to rip that shirt
(46:26):
off real quick.
I pulled it off myself and thenI was surrounded but I got out
of there before the cops came.
Everything just stayed bad withthat until I got custody of him
because she his own mom gottired of him abusing Joe.
So she calls me up one day andgoes, hey, would you want Joe to
come live with you?
And I'm like, yeah, so I'vebeen trying to make happen.
(46:49):
How old was Joe at this time?
Oh gosh, probably seven oreight.
Speaker 1 (46:56):
And you and Kim were together, mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
Okay and doing good yeah.
I mean just playing their games,playing their games.
We were just doing our thing.
And so she went into the fryingpan.
My wife I mean she's I'm notdoing none of this and she's
involved with this dude that'sgot all these problems on the
side, but she dealt with it fine.
(47:19):
She's just a mom, and you know,doing her thing, working and
taking care of me and joe.
And then, um, let's see, wasn'tlong, I think.
Yeah, joe comes to live with mesomewhere after, where we just
were, because me and my wifemoved to nevada for a little bit
(47:40):
.
Things didn't work out there,no money to be made, so we, and
then she was pregnant and Iremember coming home she says I
want to go home.
She didn't want to be in Reno,no more.
So we moved back to Oakdale andthen, somewhere or so, we got
Joe and so he had baseballpractice and so we were both
(48:05):
working.
So he was going to go frompractice over to her sister's
house after practice to watchhim until we got off work.
Well, when he was going frombaseball practice home, I mean,
to the babysitter, which was mysister-in-law not at the time,
she wasn't a sister oh yeah, shewas, anyways, my wife's sister.
She was.
(48:30):
Anyways, my wife's sister, umjoe, was crossing in a crosswalk
on the highway by gilman's,right by the high school, and a
lady ran him over in thecrosswalk.
And, um, I got a call at workthat joe got hit by a car and
he's at memorial.
And you can imagine that you,you know I'm just flipping out
Right and they don't want me todrive, and so a friend of mine's
(48:51):
mom shows up there and she'sdriving putting up with me
because I'm wanting her to go inthe dirt and pass all these
cars and to get to Memorial.
And we got there to thehospital and all kinds of people
there already, and I'm goingape shit.
We got there to the hospitaland all kinds of people there
already, and I'm going ape shit.
And the pastor of the church wewent to at that time, right
across from the general store itwas called Word of Truth back
(49:14):
then the Buies, pastor Buies,I'm going off on these people
that won't give me anyinformation.
In the ER and all of a sudden Ifelt Pastor Buies' big bear paw
on my shoulder, pull me back,have me sit down and calm down.
While he found out somesomething.
They were metafighting him toFresno because he had a severe
(49:34):
brain injury.
Fresno's hospital, yeah, and sothey metafighted him.
So we're driving and theydidn't know if he was going to
live or die.
Because he was.
Speaker 1 (49:47):
How was that drive?
Becausery's talking about hisdrive with with miranda, you
know I don't even drive, I can't.
I don't really remember thedrive, I don't really even
remember who drove but you gotthere yeah, I, I don't.
Speaker 2 (50:04):
I just try to think for a second that, because
that's so psychotic, you know,because you're just a drink.
I'm the type when I guess it'swhen trauma happens, like I
remember when Joe was little.
He tripped and fell and landedperfectly center, punched his
forehead on the corner of thestereo thing and I'd run over
(50:26):
and pick him up almost as fastas he hit and I'm pissed.
So my reaction is like anger,yeah, anger.
Like I'm not mad at him, butI'm like why is that intense of
taking care and getting to thehospital?
But I'm so you wouldn't want tobe around me because you're
thinking, man, why is he pissedoff at?
Because his kid got hurt?
That's just the way the fearcame out, or whatever.
(50:49):
I kicked into a whole otherperson and so I don't.
I think a good friend of mine,brian Pritchard, drove me down
there.
I think you know Brian.
Speaker 4 (51:02):
No, just that chair squeaking.
Oh no, it's not you.
I got to fix that.
I was rubbing on the wall.
Speaker 1 (51:08):
Oh, that's what it was the back of the wall right,
um.
Speaker 2 (51:10):
So you make it to fresno yeah, and talk to an er
nurse and I didn't find out alot till later right there,
because they were already hadthe neurologist in there and
everything before we even gotthere right, and so we're just
there and he's in a room thing.
Speaker 3 (51:29):
He's got tubes everywhere and he's in a coma
yeah, he's in a coma.
Speaker 2 (51:35):
They had to drill his head to let pressure out and
put a bolt in.
They called it and he's just ona ventilator and all these
things and he's like swelled up.
His whole face is black andblue.
Where the car hit, like his eyealmost popped out a socket from
the pressure in his headbecause the car basically she
(51:55):
hit him with a hard top part ofher car, that rail that comes up
from your hood along the window.
She hit him and he went overand that thinged him and he
landed up on the other side ofthe street in the entryway of
that Mexican market.
Now Right.
It used to be a video store.
He flew from that crosswalk allthe way to that store entryway
(52:19):
and the first fireman that wasthere I knew was named Craig
Davis.
Speaker 1 (52:25):
We love our boy.
We've mentioned Craig on thepodcast a few times.
We love our boy.
Speaker 4 (52:27):
He've been pitching Craig on the podcast a few times
.
Speaker 1 (52:28):
We love our boy.
Speaker 4 (52:29):
He listens to the podcast a lot.
He was the first one there.
Speaker 2 (52:33):
And let's see, it's a Waterford boy right there,
buddy.
Speaker 3 (52:40):
Water dogs.
Speaker 2 (52:41):
Yeah, he used to play ball with them.
Oh yeah, the wrestling.
You guys all know him.
Anyways, my wife was in schoolwith him.
She's five years younger, soshe was in school with some of
the old studs from Oakdale.
You know he's one of them.
Yes, he was.
Speaker 4 (52:56):
No, let's make something very fucking clear.
Speaker 2 (52:59):
What he wasn't from.
Speaker 4 (53:00):
Oakdale.
Speaker 1 (53:00):
Waterford.
That's a Waterford man.
Where did he go to high schoolat?
Where did he go to?
Speaker 3 (53:04):
high school at.
Where did he go to high school?
Fuck you, you Oakdalemotherfuckers.
Where did he go to high schoolat?
Speaker 1 (53:08):
Waterford fucking supported that school for
fucking years.
I have a trophy with his nameon it.
Yeah, the first name on it.
Speaker 4 (53:15):
And it's fucking Tim and Craig from Waterford.
Speaker 1 (53:19):
No, it was Oakdale High.
Speaker 4 (53:19):
School, it says.
Speaker 1 (53:21):
Bullshit.
Speaker 2 (53:22):
See how much I love Rob.
I'll say Tim and Craig wereboth from Oakdale, that's right,
god damn it.
Speaker 1 (53:27):
Love you, baby Jason.
They're still from Waterford.
Speaker 2 (53:31):
They're Waterford boys, bud, yeah, and Tim was the
little one, right, right, yeah.
But anyways, where were we?
Speaker 1 (53:40):
You were at the hospital.
You're getting ready to get thenote what happened?
Speaker 2 (53:45):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (53:47):
To Joseph what was, oh yeah, what was the diagnosis?
Speaker 2 (53:50):
we went and finally, sitting there, the neurologist
meets us.
I don't know if it's the nextmorning or that night or what.
The guy that was making thecall was Terry Hutchinson.
Yep, yeah, I forgot aboutseeing.
He just triggered another thingright there.
It goes back to a crazyconnection.
(54:12):
Um, he talked to us and told usyou know what he could at that
time with the brain injurythere's they can't tell you,
they, they know nothing.
Speaker 3 (54:26):
Yeah, they say hopefully he wakes up?
Speaker 2 (54:28):
Yeah, at that point they were if he doesn't die, if
he survives, more than likelyhe's going to be a vegetable.
You know, yeah, drooling andfed with a tube and probably not
be able to.
You know just nothing.
Function yeah, can't move, justnothing.
Function, yeah, can't move.
(54:48):
Like Tyler was I described asfrom here up, perfect, yeah,
because he could think he justcouldn't do nothing about the
thought he couldn't talk.
That's Jason's boy, yeah, yeah,and.
But he understood everything Iwould be saying.
And then he learned to textwith his toes on, like a little
(55:10):
kid's board thing ABC board.
Yeah, and he would.
But I had like telepathy withhim.
He would just grunt at me acertain way and I'd have to go
get ice cream Cause that was ourthing If I walked in their
house without I'm getting offtrack.
We're fine, we're going where Iwant to go, if I walked into the
(55:32):
room where Tyler was on thecouch and the entryway is down
the way and I could see as Icome to the door and he's eye
fucking me.
I'm just going to say it.
You're good, he's eye fucking mefrom the minute I walk in.
And I'm walking in and I'mgetting this look and I'm just
going to say it, you're good.
He's eye-fucking me from theminute I walk in.
(55:53):
And I'm walking in and I'mgetting this look and I'm like
what.
And he's just glaring at me andI'm like you want some dibs,
huh, and he's like Ice cream,yep.
That's what he'd bring him allthe time, I figured, because he
could actually get them do ithimself and they wouldn't melt
on him, you know, because he'dchaw down a bar or two.
But these things were perfectfor him because he could do that
(56:15):
.
So I'd get the look and I'd gookay, I'll be right back.
And then I learned not to comewithout dibs because I got them
strung out on dibs.
Speaker 3 (56:25):
Not to jump forward, we're jumping forward.
But I just want to say thatmike had a connection with tyler
.
That where what mike had wentthrough and what tyler was going
through, because tyler was in acoma just like joseph, and mike
(56:46):
already went through what I wasgoing through.
Because tyler was in a comajust like joseph, and mike
already went through what I wasgoing through and with what mike
was going through, he latchedon to tyler because his boy was
gone and he latched on to tylerand he was there through the
whole coma, the hospitals, thecome home, the rehabilitation.
(57:09):
Mike was there every day and Idon't know if you realize it,
mike, but you latched on toTyler with like your boy was
gone, so you latched on to Tylerwhat you had left.
Speaker 2 (57:22):
I appreciate you saying that, because I blocked
how much and how much time Ispent with tyler.
I haven't blocked that out, butthe blur ever since then.
yeah, it's like I can remembersome highlights and I remember
going over there.
I couldn't even find that house, probably if I tried, but I
(57:43):
probably could.
But um, yeah, I'm glad you youbrought that up because we were
talking about it and I probablydidn't make that connection.
But that's exactly probablywhat it was.
It is Because, going back toJoe, he was, you know, just done
, he was just there and we wereon the waiting game.
Speaker 3 (58:05):
We did that same game with Tyler yeah.
Speaker 2 (58:07):
I don't know if you remember, we did the same and
they don't tell you that theyhow many times they tried to
take them off support and theystill ain't breathing on their
own.
So they got to put it back inand I found all this out from.
They're smart not to tell youbecause they're you'll be even
worse than you are.
And I met.
We lived down there basicallyfor six months I did.
(58:30):
I went down there Thursdaynight after work, talked him
into Friday off and stayed tillSunday night till his mom showed
up, if she showed up, and thenI'd go home, go to work, try and
keep insurance going, all thatshit and but no drinking and no
part just doing the deal.
I was clean down there.
There was a point that's whereI broke.
What do you mean?
I had been not drinking at all.
(58:52):
Hold on.
Speaker 1 (58:54):
Let's take a break, yeah.
Speaker 4 (58:57):
Let's do this.
Let's do this, guys, because Iwant to turn this into episode
42.
So we got to learn about Mike,right, we got to learn about
Mike.
When we come back next week,we're going to get into Mike and
Jason's story.
Next week's going to be tough,but we're going to pick up where
he breaks.
Speaker 1 (59:17):
Yes, we're going to pick up where Mike is starting
to pick back up his drinkingBecause Kim's pregnant with
Mikey at this time.
Speaker 3 (59:21):
He's a baby, right.
Speaker 4 (59:23):
So let's go ahead and take a break.
Let's come back and we're goingto dig into that part, this,
okay.
So let's go ahead and take abreak.
Let's come back and we're goingto dig into that part.
This has been recoveryunfiltered.
You can reach us at recoveryunfiltered podcast at gmailcom.
Come back next week, guys.
You're going to want to hearthe rest of this, thank you.
Thank you for joining us today.
We hope you learned somethingtoday that will help you If you
did not come back next week, andwe'll try again If you like.
(59:45):
What?
Speaker 1 (59:45):
we heard, give us a five-star review.
If you don't like what youheard, kiss my ass.
I can't say that, can you?
Anyway, if you don't like whatyou heard, go ahead and tell us
that too.
We'll see what we can improve.
Speaker 4 (59:53):
We probably won't change nothing, but do it anyway
, it makes Rob Come back nextweek and hopefully something
will be different and somethingwill sink in.
Take care you.
jason's old hat.
He's been here the most.
Yeah, I have he's old hat.
He's the old hat at this, buthe's like you're right, this is
he's.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
I feel like I'm sitting across from joe rogan
but if, when he gets to hear theother ones that we did, it ties
this whole story.
Yes, it does, it's a, it's theit's that's the point.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
That's what we want epic.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
It's.
It's what we want, it's epicbut that's.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I'm glad he.
You haven't listened to jason's.
No, I'm glad he didn't.
Until this is good, and then goback and I have.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I just cry I didn't even tell my wife about this
till yesterday.
I kept thinking about it sincethe day you asked to tell her
and and jason just nailed it too, he goes.
You were just stuffing thatshit down because in my mind I
wasn't going to do it.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I know.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
I didn't want to do it, so I didn't.
So why tell her about it whenit ain't happening, right?
Speaker 3 (00:52):
He walked up to me this morning.
He goes, bro, we're not doingthis.
I said, jim, we need to do it.
And he's like I'm not doing it.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
Well, guess what?
You're here, hey, I'm going topray us in real fast and then
we're going to get going.
Heavenly Father, we thank youfor this moment.
Father, we ask that you sitwith each one of us.
Father, open our hearts, openour minds, give us peace,
knowing that we're working,working together as men to get
through toughest things that wecan get through.
Father, I thank you for Jasonand Mike.
Father, I ask that you layhands on them and give them
(01:22):
peace as they work through thistrauma in their lives.
Father, that everything welearn today, everything we speak
of today, saves another soul.
Everything we do is to save.
Father, we look to educate andto get other people to come to
you.
Father, we pray this in yourname, amen.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Amen.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
Let's go to work, boys.
Give us a minute, we'll bringyou in.
You sit on the toilet.
Don't you use that as yourmeditation?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
my wife not your wife , nor anybody listening to this
podcast has eaten a shitsandwich we didn't have a hand
in making welcome to recovery.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
I'm phil dirt I'm larry.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
I'm an alcoholic.
I am rob.
I am also an alcoholic.
We are not professionals.
There are no letters after ournames.
We know very little.
However, you will hear the wordgod and a four-letter word in
the same sentence.
You will also be offended.
So if you are easily offended,just pass us by.
This podcast is not for you.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
Our opinions are just that.
If you don't agree with whatwe're saying, that's okay.
We're going to love you anyways.
We are not in any wayaffiliated with AA.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
So sit back, grab a beverage of your choice and get
ready, let's go.
Hello, rob, what, what's up?
Larry, how are you?
I'm excellent buddy.
Thank you for the sounds.
I'm gonna drink right now.
I'm swallowing, motherfucker,hey, not already the f-bombs you
prick, I didn't do it.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
You said it because you caused me to do it.
Do I sound all right?
Speaker 1 (02:33):
he's got my, he's got my mic turned down I do not oh
yeah, I do sorry, such an ass.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
Welcome back, welcome back hey, you can reach out to
us at recovery unfilteredpodcast at gmailcom.
That's recovery unfilteredpodcast at gmailcom.
Guess what happened yesterday?
Fucker, you turned three yearsold, still shitting green.
Hey, we're gonna do anotherwhole podcast later down because
there's something.
There's some stuff I want totalk about going up to the
(03:02):
birthday celebrations katiebrought that up that says know,
I still go through such atremendous period of reflection
during those last few weeks Leadup to your birthday, yeah, and
I want to go through those, Iwant to use those to maybe share
that, get that out a little bit.
So we're going to do that alittle bit down the road.
But guess what we got today,boy.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
What do we have today ?
Boy, boy we got a good onetoday, boys he must have saw me
when the water was cold.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
That's bullshit jason , what's up?
What's up, my brother what's up, brothers?
Damn, it's good to see you yeah, good to see you.
Love you guys, man who do yougot sitting across from you?
Speaker 3 (03:38):
uh mike stillman, my uh, my brother mikey.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
Yes, yep, welcome brother.
Thanks, how you feeling?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
fine.
How does mine feel?
Speaker 4 (03:53):
insecure, neurotic and emotional there you go yeah,
we're gonna be good man, we'regonna be good, so we're gonna
dig in for a little bit talk,talk to Mike, a little bit talk
about his.
You know we we preference thispodcast last week, so our
listeners are a little aware ofthe situation.
We know that.
You know Jason and Mike's sonswere in a in an accident
(04:16):
together.
We're going to get to that alittle bit later, but we're
going to get to know Mike firstbecause we all know Jason, right
, we if you don't, if you.
You remember Jason is three andfour and number 20.
Right, three and four was astory.
Number 20 is his life after,with his wife Jenny, who's got
an amazing podcast going.
What's her name of her podcast?
I got you bitch, it's alright,my wife don't remember mine,
(04:42):
brother and I've been doing thisshit almost a year.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
I thought it was Jenny from the Block because
Bonnie watches it.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Yeah, it is Jenny from the Block.
Sobriety is the shit show.
So it's because Bonnie goes.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Hey, I listened to Jenny from the Block today and
she kind of said this I was justassuming that was the name of
the podcast.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
I knew I was going to get you on that one.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
So, mike, tell us about yourself.
Man, give us a little bit ofyour background, like starting
where.
Where did you grow up?
How did you grow up?
Oh, okay, I was born in FortWorth, texas.
Wow.
Moved over here when I wasprobably two.
Okay, we lived in the Bay for alittle bit but then moved to
Oakdale when I was three.
So I've been there ever since.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
And let's see.
I guess they always talk aboutthe parents.
My dad was an alcoholic.
If it wasn't for that, he wouldhave been a professional golfer
.
Wow, Because he golfed pro-amand all that stuff.
But he's too busy, according tomy mom's words, chasing women
and drinking.
Oh shit.
(05:44):
Well, one comes with the other,doesn't it?
Yeah, put a damper on being apro, but he golfed with like Lee
Trevino and all the old-timers,wow, like that.
So he was pretty good.
Good, he didn't have me.
I learned what I know aboutgolf watching him.
But what I learned?
I became the beer bitch.
Beer bitch, you know.
(06:05):
Go get me a beer bitch.
And then I remember beinglittle I love it when his friend
don his best friend they'd needa beer and I get to go get two.
So I get swigs out of each ofthem, right, hell yeah, and it
tasted like shit, but I still.
It was coors regular, right.
And so, yeah, I grew up withthat, seeing my dad knock the
(06:29):
crap out of my mom, throw herthrough windows and stuff like
that.
It was just the way it was.
Cops bringing him home drunkBack in the day, like 3,500
people in Oakdale, they justthrew him on the couch and said
don't let them leave, right, youknow.
So, yeah, that was it, it wasjust normal to me.
(06:50):
But then they divorced.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
How old were you then , Mike?
Speaker 2 (06:57):
I was probably 11.
But you had an older brotheryeah, my brother Woody's five
years older.
We moved in, came home fromschool one day First, I'll just
say this real quick my mom tookme.
She was in the bathroom doingher hair like getting all
primped before dad came home.
It was like back in those days,dinner on the table that's the
(07:20):
way my dad was.
And she called me in thebathroom and she says hey, if
mommy and daddy weren't togetheranymore, who would you want to
live with?
And just a kid like that.
I'm going like my mind juststarted going.
Well, if I stay with my dad, itwould just be me and him and
(07:41):
I'm not dealing with my threesisters anymore, and maybe he
would take me to a ball game.
I still remember that thoughtand so I said I guess, dad, I
had no clue I was coming up.
Then who knows how much longerI'm coming home from school
Cloverland, cutting through thepark we lived up on East C
(08:03):
Street.
I got up on that street,gilbert Park, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Yeah, I remember when they were building it.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
When they were building it I thought that sand
area, they were doing thatcement wall.
I was like, sweet, this isgoing to be a swimming pool
right down the street.
It ended up being a sand park,but anyways, I come up through
there and there was a car infront of our house.
We lived down towards the endof East C, right there and my
mom I could see my mom and mysisters bailing in and all of a
(08:34):
sudden taillights and my faceturned like red.
I could feel the blood go,because I think I realized what
was happening and I rememberrunning down the street and it
went around the corner and Iwalked in the house and it was
empty, like flat empty.
There was nothing left and meand my brother and my dad were
(08:56):
living out of a Coleman icechest until we got.
We were the second family tomove into Wrangler Apartments
right down the street yeah, Iknow where they are Because they
had furnished and then my dadsplits, moves in with his
girlfriend, just leaves me andmy brother there.
How old were you then?
12.
Wow, and my brother was 17.
(09:18):
He was like a junior.
So he became dad Right, and sohe basically had to raise meat,
whatever, cooked Thanksgiving.
Some drunk dude my dad's friendstumbles up to our place drunk
and he eats Thanksgiving with usand we're like, okay, whatever.
But that was pretty muchchildhood.
(09:42):
Then it went living with dad,living with mom, trying it out
wherever, and stepdads of themonth and boyfriend Some of them
.
I didn't know if she wasmarried to or not, and they were
all.
I have nothing against bikers,but they were all like biker
trash Beards, no shirt, comehome, there's a Harley sitting
(10:02):
in the dining room.
You're like what the hell?
And so that was my first fightwith an adult was this dude?
I think at that time I was inabout eighth or ninth grade and
I had been wrestling sinceseventh grade.
So the way this guy wanted tojack me up was challenge me to
(10:24):
wrestle so that way he could doit like legal.
Now I'd always ignore him andthen finally I told my
stepbrother next time he doesthat we're going out in the
backyard.
And so it happened again.
I said all right.
So I threw a move on him and Inailed him with a head and arm,
flipped him, spun around behindhim and he was screaming bloody
(10:46):
murder.
And I'm thinking this dudewants me to let up and he's
gonna be full-grown man's gonnabeat the crap out of me, right?
So I just was working him onthe ground.
I was behind him and I wastrying to work something, you
know, and all of a sudden I feltsomething sticking out of his
back and he was screaming.
And sudden I felt somethingsticking out of his back and he
was screaming and I felt thisthing sticking out of his back
(11:08):
and it was that chicken wing,you know, your shoulder blade or
whatever and it just popped outthe back.
I grabbed this thing and I'mlike Mom, you better take this
dude to the hospital.
And I went and he was only hadthat much that they didn't cut.
They had to rebuild,reconstruct his whole stuff.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Do you think you learned from his mistake?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
We got along after that I bet you did.
He didn't want to rest.
I went and apologized to him.
I said I'm sorry I ruined yourgolf game because he used to
golf and we got along fine.
But that's how I grew up, withthose type of people moving in
the house and thinking they weremy dad and nobody like I told
(11:51):
you at a breakfast that whenpeople tell me to do something,
it ain't happening.
If you ask me, I'll do anything.
And then that's when one of theguys said Mike, will you please
do your steps.
Versus your steps.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
That was yeah, mike was not one of my biggest fans.
No, he tells a story.
He says it in the room too.
He don't give a fuck.
He says it right in the wholeroom to everybody.
He tolerates me now ruinedeverybody.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
He tolerates me now.
Well, actually god gave me thetolerance because I hate.
When I I've met him before andI'd hear him talking to me, it
was like somebody telling mewhat to do, or other people what
to do.
And after his first book study,when I showed up with my
brother-in-law, I said oh, fuck,you're talking about his
thursday nights.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
Yeah, I forgot that thing was thursday.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
I don't even want to be here to listen to this guy
and we walked out of it and I,my brother-in-law, was right by
me and I go well, that sucked.
And as I was walking to mytruck, I go okay, you're getting
an attitude where what takes meout all the time is not going
back to a meeting you recognizedit and I said well, next week
(13:15):
maybe it'll be a little better.
I told Bruce, and so we comeback and I remember saying that
to myself walking in and it wasa way better.
I was more open, I guess, andlistening, willing, willing all
that because I never was beforeand that's one thing I've been
learning this time around waswhat they teach Open-minded,
(13:39):
willing and learning how tolisten, and that principle
before personality thing, right,because I would look at a dude
and say you know, I don't likethis dude and I don't even know
him, right, you know, at work oranywhere, but I started
practicing that principle.
(14:00):
It sounds weird saying these AAterms, it's like you know.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
Welcome to your life, it's, it's true.
They come out of me now withouteven thinking about it.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Right, and it's the truth, it's true.
And the second book study walkout with bruce again, because I
take him to all the meetingsbecause he don't have a license
and and I go well, that one wasbetter.
And then on the way to my truck, I can vividly remember I'm
thinking about it, thinkingabout why I'm thinking the way
I'm thinking.
And that's when this part Roblikes.
(14:38):
And when I said you know what Igo, it just hit me, it was God.
He said.
Well, the first thing he saidyou probably don't like him
because he's a lot like you,which is true.
And the next thing was I saidyou know what I told Bruce, he's
just zealous for the program.
(14:59):
And he looked at me I go, hejust wants people to get it
Right, and so he's zealous forit and I can get on board with
that, I can dig that Right.
And so then I told him I lovehim.
There you go, but at first Istill want to buy him the plain
language book to screw him up.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Burn that book to the ground.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Because he quotes the other one Right and I'm like'm
gonna screw this guy up and buyhim one of these.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
Oh, there, it goes, sorry that.
Uh, so after, after that, whatage did you put that guy in the
hospital?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
he was in junior high junior high I was like 11 or 12
, something like that so what?
Speaker 4 (15:41):
when did you move on with your life like?
Did you go through high schoolliving with mom?
Speaker 2 (15:46):
I'm glad you asked some questions.
I bounced, I ended up livingwith did you go to oklahoma?
you graduated oklahoma no, Iwent to tracy high, okay,
because that's where we foundout where my mom moved, because
we didn't know.
And so, uh, I went to a littlebit of junior high in Tracy and
I went up to a junior at TracyHigh and I was wrestling there
(16:09):
and stuff.
And then my career year there.
We used to go to the Tracy High, me and my stepbrother, and
break in the main gym so wecould play basketball on the
hardwood.
And one day we were going andwe're climbing over this big
fence on a rolling gate, big 10foot tall chain link fence, and
I was up at the top and it felloff the rails and so I'm walking
(16:32):
backwards trying to keep itfrom crunching me and the top
rails cracked my melon open.
So that ended my undefeatedcareer in 11th grade, couldn't
wrestle no more and I was on amission to go all the way.
I had made a what do you call itgoal in my head that I was
gonna go undefeated and I wasuntil that and I couldn't
(16:54):
wrestle no more.
So then I was living with, uh,girlfriends, grandparents,
things like that.
They were getting welfare forme, and so from probably 14, I
was just living wherever, wow.
And then I didn't know what Iwas going to do with my life
because it was just total chaos.
(17:14):
I mean, our fun as kids waswe'd get locked out of the house
, door would get locked and youcouldn't come home until the
door was open.
So whenever they got donesmoking their weed or whatever
they were doing you'd go up andgo take back off.
So me and my stepbrother, wewere just crazy kids, nothing to
do.
We'd just go.
(17:34):
What do you want to do?
Let's go get the cops to chaseus.
So we would just run amok andget cops to chase us and it was
fun.
And then my mom called me in forjuvenile, uncontrollable, and
the cops were trying to arrestme and they were chasing me all
(17:56):
over Tracy for about three daysand they couldn't catch me.
And I'd be right at the househiding in the alley while the
cops were talking to my mom andshe thought she was all excited.
Oh, you got him when theypulled up and I still remember
the cop going no, we've seen thelittle bastard all over town,
but he's too goddamn fast, wecan't catch him.
And and I'd be back therelaughing.
(18:17):
And then my sister ratted meout and they ambushed me in the
alley and I jumped the fence andwent through these people's
back down their driveway andthere was cops waiting there.
So I'm like gigs up, brother,yeah and and uh.
But I conned them when we got inthe house because I was in gym
shorts when they were chasing mered shorts and I had been in
(18:39):
that stuff for like three daysrunning around town and I conned
the cop.
True story.
I said hey, since you guys aretaking me, can I at least put
clothes on?
And they're standing there inthe hallway.
And he goes which room is yours?
And I said the first door onthe right.
So they're standing therewatching.
Well, the first door on theright was into the garage and so
(19:00):
I went out that door, out theother door right across from it,
and I was on.
That was part of the three days, because they lost me right
there and they never got meagain.
But my Were you drinking?
Speaker 4 (19:12):
Was any alcohol, drugs, anything going on at that
time?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Nope, I hated people that drank.
Okay, because that's what-?
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Because that's who you were raised in.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Right Raised was-, my dad would come home.
This is crazy, but my mom wouldlock me in my room.
I remember it was third gradeat that time.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
At.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Cloverland, my school Lock me in the room until my
dad came home.
He would come home, walkthrough the door, beat the fuck
out of me and then go close thedoor, beat the fuck out of me
and then go close the door andso and I'm talking like people
get hit with a belt and all thatthat would have been cool, but
my dad hit with fists, knees,all that stuff and I'd be curled
(19:54):
up in the corner and the bed.
And then I learned if Isquirted tears he'd quit, and so
I'd squirt tears, he'd.
He'd close the door and I'dgive him the finger to the door
and I'd jump out my window andtake off.
And that was third grade.
So I grew up getting beat likethat and I always joke.
I think I started to like it,you know, because I was stubborn
(20:16):
.
It didn't bother me, I couldtake a beating.
It was like I was preparedEvery day.
I was locked in the room so I'mgoing okay, he's home, get
ready.
Then he'd leave, I'd flip himoff, jump out the window and uh,
so that was.
And then the stepdads triedthat shit, but like the one I
tore his whole stuff up.
(20:38):
Didn't work, it didn't happen.
No more, you know you get thatage, yeah, when you're my dad.
I went to stay with him once inwork for a summer and I was
walking out the door of thisapartment he lived in Modesto
and he was coming after me and Iturned around and squared up on
him and he just looked at meand stopped and turned around
and went back to the kitchenBecause my mind had just said
(21:05):
you, you're not gonna hit me, nomore, right, it's not gonna be
the same.
So I hated people that drank,and just because grew up in it,
right?
So I don't know when I um, oh,let's just get back to I quit
high school in the middle of11th grade because I hated
school.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
I just and you couldn't wrestle anymore.
Yeah, so why?
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Yeah.
So I had grades, whatever.
I had okay grades.
I got A's in shop and PE.
I got A's in whatever.
I wanted to get an A in Right.
And then I just decided youknow, I'm like in Sacramento
(21:46):
living with an ex-stepdad and mystepbrother and I was supposed
to sign up for school.
I went and signed up and neverwent and I'm like what am I to
do with myself?
And all I was thinking aboutwas how am I going to get my
next burger?
You know how am I going to live?
And I, you know no skills.
I used to think if I knew howto read a tape measure, I'll be
fine, because I got a job in acabinet shop when I was still in
(22:08):
school doing that workexperience, right, so I could
build things and figured I wasprobably going to be a cabinet
maker or something.
So I went in the Marine Corps17.
And we had to drive down tofind my mom in Stockton and have
her sign and then I was off andgone and my brother was an
ex-Marine your older brother.
(22:29):
Yeah, he went in when he was 17.
Same thing, same reason.
He grew up in the same ship buthe wasn't the chosen one to get
beat.
He was old enough to bounce andgo stay with somebody and I was
still too small.
But I still remember my mom wassigning the papers and my
brother goes Mom, they're goingto kill him.
(22:50):
Because he knew how I was.
Like, fuck you, do it yourself.
He knew what Marine Corps bootcamp was like and I knew I knew
what I was doing, that I waschoosing this, so I excelled in
that.
I got a meritorious promotionin boot camp, became a squad
leader and didn't get fired.
They usually fire them andthrow another one in.
(23:11):
So I got a meritorious out ofthat.
I went to school.
I was top Marine in my school.
I got another meritorious, so Iwas like a year ahead of
everybody that went in at thesame time as me as far as money.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Because, because, to me, it's all about money right.
More money, higher the rate,more money, more money and I can
move off base and whatever.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
So then did you start drinking any drinking here, any
partying or just just just Iused to laugh at all the jar
heads because they'd get paidand we'd go to memphis where our
school was in millington,tennessee, and they would go
just get hammered.
Their check would be gone in acouple days, right right,
because the chow hall would beempty and I'd be like sweet, I'd
just walk right in I never gotthat either.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
I would always get his eyes with the navy.
That's where I was going.
You could have missed the boat.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
You could have been loaning money charging points.
I know my mind went straight tobusiness.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Some jar heads like when I was in yuma, arizona.
This dude had his own beater,uh rental car fleet and he would
rent them to the jar heads sothey could go to mexico and and
all that and or they'd catchsnakes and get the venom and
make money.
There's always trying to makemoney, that's funny.
And then they're broke theirchow hall lines around the
(24:23):
building right and um, but so Ididn't drink.
They even sold it in like sodamachines.
Oh yeah, beer was in the.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Really what years were you in the marines?
Speaker 2 (24:32):
I went in at 80 to 84 and then two years on call or
whatever.
Okay, so it was back.
The only thing that was goingon when I went in that we they
were praying that they couldwatch us get killed in Iran when
the hostages.
A lot of people don't rememberthat, but we had a pussy.
President Reagan went and gotthem.
(24:54):
The day he was inaugurated, theysent them home they were
prepping us to go there andpraying that they could watch.
They couldn't wait to see usget killed, shit like that.
They're all non.
Couldn't wait to see us getkilled, shit like that.
Our, our, our, sergeant,they're all non-vets.
So they were psycho.
But um, it was cool.
That was the best thing thatkept me out of prison because I
(25:15):
I was crazy when I was young.
We'd break into school to theplay basketball and then we got
to dropping into the upperwindows, into the offices
finding the coffee, money, stonecold sober yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
That's crazy.
So what did you do after theMarines?
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Well, I left out the part that leads up to my son,
joseph.
When I went in the Marines, Iwas with this gal and she was
pregnant.
I found out she was pregnantwhile I was in boot camp or
something, and so Joe was bornin January of 81.
(25:58):
Right, I was still in Tennesseeand so all that happened and I
don't know where I was goingwith that, just bringing Joe
into the story, and he, becausehe was born and were you married
to his mom or?
(26:18):
you know, I think we were by,you know, just going to the
court thing, right.
I don't really remember, butyeah, she had my name, okay.
So I really don't even rememberthat because I was like a
really you don't realize howyoung you are.
But I see my boot camp picturesand stuff and I look and I go,
man, you're just a kid.
(26:39):
Right, I was still wet behindthe ears, because I look at
17-year-olds today and I cannoteven imagine them being where I
was when I was 17.
That is a true fact.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
I mean I can't.
Even They'd crawl up a ball andcry in a corner.
They would know what handledthem.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
I can't imagine it and I'm like, but it's the way
you were raised.
I mean, we were raised wrongand my whole life.
Speaker 4 (27:07):
Well, I don raised wrong.
And my whole life, well, Idon't know.
Hold on a second.
You say that certain thingsabout that was wrong, but
they're.
My childhood made me who I am,and it was a motherfucker too,
yeah, so it made me who I am.
I don't like there was nothing.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
We were all together.
There was nothing right about.
We were in those canals and ourparents, our brothers beat our
ass right yeah it wasn't like itis now no
Speaker 2 (27:23):
no oh you can't offend nobody no go, kick the
shit out of him right hold hishead under the water right that
does it a little bit.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
When he stops moving, let him up, yeah yeah, my, my
brother.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
He just to say one thing when he was my dad I
called it um, so he was raisingme right, and so I was running a
muck in oakdale and shooting,going to alleys with bb guns and
shooting, having bb gun wars,you know, straight out trying to
shoot each other, and umshooting people's, dogs and cats
in the alley.
And, as my brother finds outand he was still I could still
(27:59):
picture me he'd have me in theheadlock, just knuckling my head
all the way home, uh, draggingme up them stairs, screaming
like a bitch.
And then the cops come knockingon the door and I'm like, yes,
and they're questioning mybrother, and the whole time I'm
in the bathroom, straight acrossfrom the door, like this, ready
to lock it because he's gonnakill me, right.
(28:20):
And the cop says we got a phonecall.
You're beating on your brother.
He goes, yeah, but he tells himwhat I'm doing.
He goes, okay, okay, but youwait till your dad gets home.
Let your dad beat the shit outof him, yeah.
And so they shut the door andI'm standing there, my brothers,
and I'm like he's got to go towork, right, because he worked
at birchall's nursery andbrawley's and slept in school.
(28:41):
Oh, wow, okay, wow, okay, right, and um, coach Wingo tried to
get my brother to come and livewith him GW.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
Yeah, good man, good man Legend.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
My brother was a great wrestler and track and
Wingo wanted him to come live sohe could have a life, have a
high school, and um, he, youknow he didn't.
He was taking care of me but Istood there with that door
locked thinking he's got to goto work, right, and I was scared
to death and so I was probablyin there two, three hours
thinking he's just waiting andfinally I go.
(29:14):
He had to leave by now and Iopened the door and he's
probably been gone since theminute the cops left.
But that was my dad and mybrother.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
So how old are you now, Mike?
Speaker 2 (29:22):
62.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
brother, but uh so how old are you now, mike?
62, so you're okay.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Okay, I knew you were older than us, but I didn't
know much jason and my wife wereabout the same age, I think,
because I don't know if she knewyou that was oakdale in a
different time.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Man, yeah, that was a whole different.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Yeah, yeah, yeah so, all right, let's go back to
joseph.
Yeah, he was born and thingsdidn't work out with me and his
mom.
She left me for an ovary.
I still didn't drink At thattime.
I started treating myself likeon Fridays because I was all
about taking care of family.
Right, I'd get a six-pack ofMoosehead, if you guys remember
(29:58):
that.
Oh yeah, and that's how I'dtreat myself on payday I'd get a
six-pack of Moosehead, flop onthe living room floor where I
lived on California Street anddrink that six-pack or part of
it or whatever, listening to mytower stereo thing.
You know that's how I drank.
(30:19):
You know that was it Becausethe rest of the money had to go
To the family.
Yeah, so it was no big deal.
And then she ends up splittingwith a dude that got a
million-dollar law settlementand I come home one day and same
thing Shit's gone.
Just like when I was a kid, andthat was it.
(30:42):
She was just a materialisticperson, and your mom, no, this
is joseph's mom.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
Okay, did she take joseph?
Speaker 2 (30:50):
yeah, yeah, and they, she moved in with him in an
apartment because they weregonna.
You know, he just got hismillion bucks, so the mansion
and the cars were coming soonand uh, so that ended that and
that's probably where I starteddrinking a little more at that
time, and not all day, every day, but after work I'd go with
(31:12):
some buddies over.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
What are you doing for?
Speaker 2 (31:14):
work uh hogan manufacturing there in eskalon
when that happened.
And then some buddies fromeskalon, you know, they'd go to
pierre's it was called thislittle I don't know what it was.
It was a restaurant, but theyhad a bar and my buddy was a
regular there because he couldpick the hors d'oeuvres for
happy hour.
So so I started partying moreon the weekends, got into a
(31:35):
little coke.
You know I was just going amokbecause, okay, I'll flash back
real quick bro no how I grew up,though, how screwed up it was.
what little bit you heard.
My whole life I told myself thatis never gonna happen to me and
I'm never gonna treat my wifelike that.
I'm never gonna beat my kids,and to this day I think I I
(31:59):
remember spanking on the buttMichael, my only son, with my
second wife one time, because Icould look at him and make him
cry Right or my voice would doit and I grew up saying I'm
never going to get a divorce,never going to beat my kids,
(32:20):
never going to do everythingthat I grew up in.
That was my goal in life.
So when that happened, when shesplit I think that was just now
I can think about like, okay,everything I thought my whole
life was going to be just lefthappened to me and no part of me
.
I wasn't an abuser.
I wasn't an abuser, I wasn't adrinker.
(32:42):
I just brought home the moneyand took care of my family and
did everything like I said, theway it's supposed to be you go
to work, take care of yourfamily.
And then I think now I canthink about that and say, yeah,
that was the beginning of theyou know, not being able to live
(33:04):
on life's terms.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
I got you not being of your life on life's terms
right, I got you the beginningof your life yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
So I got a DUI.
I was on a motorcycle because Iused to just go run amok.
Like right after that happened,I was just like out there, how
old were you right here?
Let's say 24, something likethat.
Right after that happened, Iwas just like out there, how old
were you right here, let's say24.
Okay, something like that 24,25.
So I kicked into drinking afterwork.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Start touching on some cocaine, come on.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Yep and drinking.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
What was your drink?
Beer or whiskey Beer?
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Okay, mostly Moosehead, probably Coors Light.
I didn't go to hard stuff tillthis last run.
I got you this.
Last time I went it was allstraight.
Coors light, just 30 packsafter 30 packs that's.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
I could drink a lot of jam right there.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Yeah, until it stops working I was yeah and uh, where
was I going with that?
Oh, yeah, so I started, just, Iguess, not knowing what the
hell.
Everything happened that I hadplanned or thought was not going
to happen.
So my life was over, you know,fuck it at that point right,
yeah, fuck it.
(34:17):
Exactly, I didn't care.
I was driving around drunk on amotorcycle all the time and
didn't care.
Drunk on a motorcycle all thetime and didn't care, I'd end up
at the series drive-in.
Just all of a sudden they'recruising around down the highway
, everything just gone, you know, and I got the cops.
Insanity, the cops got me.
(34:38):
I was going down f street inoakdale, right by the 7-eleven
on the riverbank side of town, Icall it and I seen two cop cars
in the parking lot and I had myblinker on to turn because I
lived right by there and Ithought, okay, just keep going
straight, but no, your blinker'son.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
You start thinking too much.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Yeah, they're going to, if you didn't, you know.
So I turn and I go, get by ablock and hang a quick right,
and then there they are with thelights.
And so they field tested me andI pissed them off because they
told me to say my ABCs and Isang them like a kindergartner.
(35:18):
And he goes okay, now say thembackwards.
And I said you couldn't give metwo weeks and I wouldn't be
able to say them backwards.
Then he did stand on one leg,put your back and touch your
nose, and I just fell into thepeople's front yard and then
into the back of the cop car.
That was the one and only dui Iever had I got.
(35:40):
I paid him back, though,because I puked all over the
back of his car on the way andit was a cop everybody loved in
town barth yep yeah, knowing,wow, that's crazy, and I was
laughing because it was wintertime and that one he was.
It happened right when he'spulling up to the jail and I
(36:00):
thought to myself yeah, when youget in your car with your
heater on, you're gonna lovethat did you have rob?
Speaker 3 (36:06):
do you have any interactions with Barth?
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Nothing like that.
No, she banged at him.
For sure He'd pull you over andrun dig through the car.
Speaker 3 (36:13):
Yeah, just a dick.
Speaker 4 (36:14):
You know what?
He bailed me out one night.
No shit, yes, he did.
He bailed me and another friendand Shane you out.
Yeah, he bailed us out.
We got in some trouble.
Trouble, uh, his cousin.
We ended up in the front lawnof a friend.
We ended up in the front yardof some people right around the
corner from I can't evenremember.
(36:35):
Anyways, we were hiding insideof her house.
She was protecting us and hefigured out real fast where we
were at and he shined the lightand I'm sitting there looking
out the window like thisshepherd I see you.
So I came out there and he readme and me and shane, the riot
act, and he made us walk aroundthe corner and talk to the
(36:55):
homeowners and told them we'drebuild the fence, so, and then
he says, okay, you get yourasses home.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
So we did he had a lot of that story before, bro,
from someone else.
Yeah, oh yeah, I have, I don'tknow how we didn't die yeah yeah
, it was.
Speaker 4 (37:09):
It was insane.
I could not believe that he didthat for us.
You know, I ran into I don'tknow how we went down.
I ran into him at a um, at adinner one night and he was
doing secure.
After he retired he was doingsecurity for, uh uh, one of the
the bank companies that getbanks brinks, brinks.
He was doing backyard securitybut but he wasn't near the prick
(37:31):
that everybody thought he was.
He did do a lot for the kids.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
He let us go a few times, but he booked us a few
times, a bunch of times.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
They had no choice with me.
Speaker 4 (37:42):
I had to go down.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Anyway.
So when did?
Speaker 1 (37:46):
you meet your current wife.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
Oh oh yeah, that's what.
I was sitting here justthinking where's this go from
there?
Well, she split and it's rightaround christmas.
I remember that because thereain't gonna be no christmas.
Um, I wasn't gonna do a treeand all this stuff, and then I
ended up.
That's a crazy story.
He he kicked this gal out thathe had been with for years, the
(38:10):
millionaire guy that my wifewent and eventually married and
had a couple kids, and they'redivorced now too.
But karma, I guess they call it.
But um.
So she he kicks her out of theupstairs apartment.
She moves in with a friend inthe bottom third apartment.
Well, she thought when thesplit up happened that we were
(38:30):
just going to like, swap, likeshe's going to come live with me
the gal.
He just kicked out the gal hejust kicked out like he took my
marriage, my wife, and the onehe's gonna marry when he gets
his million.
Apparently he wasn't, and in myopinion she was way better
looking and hotter than my ex,and so I couldn't figure out
what was wrong with this dude.
And it turned out he wantedwhat I had, he had a thing on me
(38:55):
and so whatever he could do to,I mean seriously, yeah, wow,
because I'm like going why, youknow why you kicking that out
for this and a marriage, andblah, blah, blah, right.
So anyways, she's trying to gether hooks in me.
I remember she came a couple ofdays after we found out about
the affair, or whatever she.
(39:17):
She comes and puts a lip lockon me in my kitchen, right, and
I'm like like Forrest Gump.
I'm like she tastes likecigarettes because she smoked
and I was like going what thehell?
I wasn't having none of it,right?
My mind wasn't like, yeah, thiswould be cool.
I'm thinking I'm splitting toNevada where my dad lived.
(39:38):
I'm getting out of Dodge, I gotto get out of here, and so she
got off me and I said, hey, Idon't know what you're going to
do, barbara, but I'm going toNevada, but she was still trying
angling.
And so this girl drops her offat my house one day because she
had a car and no license.
Barbara and this girl who Ididn't know who she was yet, had
(40:02):
a license and no car.
So she drives her over to myhouse and drops comes in for a
minute and I'm all about thisgirl.
She drives her over to my houseand drops comes in for a minute
and I'm all about this girlthat drove her over here and
ends up being my wife now,kimberly.
And so we're sitting theretalking and I meet her again and
we're talking and we're justhitting it off.
We're talking about God, allkinds of cool things.
(40:25):
I was into right and not beingmaterial, I could just see she
grew up like me, and I found outway more later, as we stayed
together, that she grew up worsethan me.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
Wow, that's saying something, brother.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
Yeah, beaten with batons, you know those things
kids used to play with untilthey peed, you know.
And her side was alcoholic drugaddicts.
She's the only one in that clanthat didn't go off on none of
that, my wife.
So I can't get this girl out ofmy mind.
(41:00):
She loves telling this storyand I'm like it's so mushy.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Let's hear it.
Let's hear it I love mushy.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
I couldn't get her out of my mind.
Seriously, I was thinking abouther all day at work.
And so I finally get thecourage of because I don't have
to ask nobody for a date, orbecause I used to have the
attitude like, you know, you'rechicken to go ask a girl to
dance or let alone go out withyou.
Then I got to where, well, allthey can do is say no, right,
you know, if you don't, younever get a.
(41:28):
Get a yes, if you don't getsome no's or get something right
.
So I decided to go call her.
She worked at the nutcracker.
Oh boy, my favorite.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
She went yeah, yeah, and she's fondue, oh yeah, it's
shrimp scampi I love.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Well, they were grooming her there to manage the
place and she was 20, I was 25,so this before cell phones.
And so barbara, the other gal'strying to get her hooks with me
, is at my house.
So I leave to a pay phone andto call the nutcracker and try
and get to talk to kim.
Right, and this, this is thepart that that kills me.
(42:05):
Like this, this took my ego tolike nothing.
I go, can I speak to Kim?
And she gets on the phone andgoes hello, and I go hi, this is
Mike.
And she goes Mike, whoApparently I wasn't in her mind
as much as she was in yours.
(42:26):
She says Mike who, and then Iexplain she says Mike who, and
then I explained she goes oh hey, then it changed.
I go, I'd just like to know ifyou'd like to get to know me
better.
And she said well, sure.
So we made a date.
I picked her up from work andwe went and cruised out around
the reservoir, the old trestlebridge, and kicked back there
(42:47):
talking.
Then I'd take her back to work.
It was just her break and thenit just evolved from there.
We ended up getting married.
Where was Joseph at?
During this?
Joseph was living with his momand the abusive stepdad.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
In the upstairs apartment or in their mansion.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
In the upstairs apartment at that time?
Yeah, upstairs apartment.
Or in their mansion In theupstairs apartment at that time,
yeah.
And then it was just reallyweird because my wife I left
that part out she lived in thedownstairs apartment where that
gal moved in, okay, so that'show they came over together.
So Barbara still thought shehad a chance, I guess, and I was
(43:28):
already dead set on kim.
So I go driving over toapartments one evening and I
knock on the door and I'm justgonna try and get kim.
There's no phones back inlandlines.
So the door opens and barbarasees me and she jumps up, gets a
big smile.
She says I can still picture.
She says, hey, what, what'sgoing on?
And kim's sitting there on thecouch just like pretending she
(43:50):
ain't there.
And I go, uh, I came to see herand she looks.
She's like oh my god, thiscouldn't be any worse, you know.
And she's sitting there notknowing what to do and barbara's
standing at the door lookinglike what, what the hell?
And I'm staring at Kim andshe's looking at me like what.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
Motherfucker, you just put me in a bag.
Yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
I go well, are you going to get up, or what?
Just like exact words.
And she still quotes it and shegoes I should have known then
to run.
Yeah, I should have ran.
And so, anyways, joe was livingwith them and he was mentally
abusing Joe and, I would say,treating him like he was me,
(44:36):
because he's the one that brokeup the family.
And then he's treating him Iwould find out Joe's starting to
act up at school.
And Joe's is four or five.
At that time he's like probably, yeah, somewhere around there,
five, six.
He was at Magnolia and he wasstarting to act out at school
(44:58):
and weird things, you know, andI knew what was going on.
And then he told me and I foundout some things.
So I went over there and had alittle powwow with the stepdad
and, uh, that didn't go good forhim, or you?
No, the powwow didn't go goodbecause he didn't learn.
Basically, I'd right, Ithreatened him, if he ever did
(45:22):
something like that or laid ahand on him, he'd regret the day
he ever met the galleys withand I'd be in the middle of
their living room with my toiletand pickup, right in the middle
of their dining table.
And that kind of scenarioalmost happened once.
But my ex-father and I got meout of there before the cops
came, because when I found outwhat he was doing I went over
(45:45):
there and I went to talk to themom Joe's mom, my ex about just
me and her Talked for a secondon the porch about Joe.
He came out and said get off myproperty, you get in the house,
you get off my property.
So I, right, hooked him in hismelon and he ran in the garage
(46:05):
and grabbed a bat and it waslike a hockey fight.
And when I heard the bat I hadhim shirt comes over his head
and then the whole neighborhoodcame out and rat-packed me and
so my shirt was going over myhead and so I grew up playing
some hockey in Jersey when wewere kids.
My dad's got a transfer there soI knew I had to rip that shirt
(46:26):
off real quick.
I pulled it off myself and thenI was surrounded but I got out
of there before the cops came.
Everything just stayed bad withthat until I got custody of him
because she his own mom gottired of him abusing Joe.
So she calls me up one day andgoes, hey, would you want Joe to
come live with you?
And I'm like, yeah, so I'vebeen trying to make happen.
(46:49):
How old was Joe at this time?
Oh gosh, probably seven oreight.
Speaker 1 (46:56):
And you and Kim were together, mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
Okay and doing good yeah.
I mean just playing their games,playing their games.
We were just doing our thing.
And so she went into the fryingpan.
My wife I mean she's I'm notdoing none of this and she's
involved with this dude that'sgot all these problems on the
side, but she dealt with it fine.
(47:19):
She's just a mom, and you know,doing her thing, working and
taking care of me and joe.
And then, um, let's see, wasn'tlong, I think.
Yeah, joe comes to live with mesomewhere after, where we just
were, because me and my wifemoved to nevada for a little bit
(47:40):
.
Things didn't work out there,no money to be made, so we, and
then she was pregnant and Iremember coming home she says I
want to go home.
She didn't want to be in Reno,no more.
So we moved back to Oakdale andthen, somewhere or so, we got
Joe and so he had baseballpractice and so we were both
(48:05):
working.
So he was going to go frompractice over to her sister's
house after practice to watchhim until we got off work.
Well, when he was going frombaseball practice home, I mean,
to the babysitter, which was mysister-in-law not at the time,
she wasn't a sister oh yeah, shewas, anyways, my wife's sister.
She was.
(48:30):
Anyways, my wife's sister, umjoe, was crossing in a crosswalk
on the highway by gilman's,right by the high school, and a
lady ran him over in thecrosswalk.
And, um, I got a call at workthat joe got hit by a car and
he's at memorial.
And you can imagine that you,you know I'm just flipping out
Right and they don't want me todrive, and so a friend of mine's
(48:51):
mom shows up there and she'sdriving putting up with me
because I'm wanting her to go inthe dirt and pass all these
cars and to get to Memorial.
And we got there to thehospital and all kinds of people
there already, and I'm goingape shit.
We got there to the hospitaland all kinds of people there
already, and I'm going ape shit.
And the pastor of the church wewent to at that time, right
across from the general store itwas called Word of Truth back
(49:14):
then the Buies, pastor Buies,I'm going off on these people
that won't give me anyinformation.
In the ER and all of a sudden Ifelt Pastor Buies' big bear paw
on my shoulder, pull me back,have me sit down and calm down.
While he found out somesomething.
They were metafighting him toFresno because he had a severe
(49:34):
brain injury.
Fresno's hospital, yeah, and sothey metafighted him.
So we're driving and theydidn't know if he was going to
live or die.
Because he was.
Speaker 1 (49:47):
How was that drive?
Becausery's talking about hisdrive with with miranda, you
know I don't even drive, I can't.
I don't really remember thedrive, I don't really even
remember who drove but you gotthere yeah, I, I don't.
Speaker 2 (50:04):
I just try to think for a second that, because
that's so psychotic, you know,because you're just a drink.
I'm the type when I guess it'swhen trauma happens, like I
remember when Joe was little.
He tripped and fell and landedperfectly center, punched his
forehead on the corner of thestereo thing and I'd run over
(50:26):
and pick him up almost as fastas he hit and I'm pissed.
So my reaction is like anger,yeah, anger.
Like I'm not mad at him, butI'm like why is that intense of
taking care and getting to thehospital?
But I'm so you wouldn't want tobe around me because you're
thinking, man, why is he pissedoff at?
Because his kid got hurt?
That's just the way the fearcame out, or whatever.
(50:49):
I kicked into a whole otherperson and so I don't.
I think a good friend of mine,brian Pritchard, drove me down
there.
I think you know Brian.
Speaker 4 (51:02):
No, just that chair squeaking.
Oh no, it's not you.
I got to fix that.
I was rubbing on the wall.
Speaker 1 (51:08):
Oh, that's what it was the back of the wall right,
um.
Speaker 2 (51:10):
So you make it to fresno yeah, and talk to an er
nurse and I didn't find out alot till later right there,
because they were already hadthe neurologist in there and
everything before we even gotthere right, and so we're just
there and he's in a room thing.
Speaker 3 (51:29):
He's got tubes everywhere and he's in a coma
yeah, he's in a coma.
Speaker 2 (51:35):
They had to drill his head to let pressure out and
put a bolt in.
They called it and he's just ona ventilator and all these
things and he's like swelled up.
His whole face is black andblue.
Where the car hit, like his eyealmost popped out a socket from
the pressure in his headbecause the car basically she
(51:55):
hit him with a hard top part ofher car, that rail that comes up
from your hood along the window.
She hit him and he went overand that thinged him and he
landed up on the other side ofthe street in the entryway of
that Mexican market.
Now Right.
It used to be a video store.
He flew from that crosswalk allthe way to that store entryway
(52:19):
and the first fireman that wasthere I knew was named Craig
Davis.
Speaker 1 (52:25):
We love our boy.
We've mentioned Craig on thepodcast a few times.
We love our boy.
Speaker 4 (52:27):
He've been pitching Craig on the podcast a few times
.
Speaker 1 (52:28):
We love our boy.
Speaker 4 (52:29):
He listens to the podcast a lot.
He was the first one there.
Speaker 2 (52:33):
And let's see, it's a Waterford boy right there,
buddy.
Speaker 3 (52:40):
Water dogs.
Speaker 2 (52:41):
Yeah, he used to play ball with them.
Oh yeah, the wrestling.
You guys all know him.
Anyways, my wife was in schoolwith him.
She's five years younger, soshe was in school with some of
the old studs from Oakdale.
You know he's one of them.
Yes, he was.
Speaker 4 (52:56):
No, let's make something very fucking clear.
Speaker 2 (52:59):
What he wasn't from.
Speaker 4 (53:00):
Oakdale.
Speaker 1 (53:00):
Waterford.
That's a Waterford man.
Where did he go to high schoolat?
Where did he go to?
Speaker 3 (53:04):
high school at.
Where did he go to high school?
Fuck you, you Oakdalemotherfuckers.
Where did he go to high schoolat?
Speaker 1 (53:08):
Waterford fucking supported that school for
fucking years.
I have a trophy with his nameon it.
Yeah, the first name on it.
Speaker 4 (53:15):
And it's fucking Tim and Craig from Waterford.
Speaker 1 (53:19):
No, it was Oakdale High.
Speaker 4 (53:19):
School, it says.
Speaker 1 (53:21):
Bullshit.
Speaker 2 (53:22):
See how much I love Rob.
I'll say Tim and Craig wereboth from Oakdale, that's right,
god damn it.
Speaker 1 (53:27):
Love you, baby Jason.
They're still from Waterford.
Speaker 2 (53:31):
They're Waterford boys, bud, yeah, and Tim was the
little one, right, right, yeah.
But anyways, where were we?
Speaker 1 (53:40):
You were at the hospital.
You're getting ready to get thenote what happened?
Speaker 2 (53:45):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (53:47):
To Joseph what was, oh yeah, what was the diagnosis?
Speaker 2 (53:50):
we went and finally, sitting there, the neurologist
meets us.
I don't know if it's the nextmorning or that night or what.
The guy that was making thecall was Terry Hutchinson.
Yep, yeah, I forgot aboutseeing.
He just triggered another thingright there.
It goes back to a crazyconnection.
(54:12):
Um, he talked to us and told usyou know what he could at that
time with the brain injurythere's they can't tell you,
they, they know nothing.
Speaker 3 (54:26):
Yeah, they say hopefully he wakes up?
Speaker 2 (54:28):
Yeah, at that point they were if he doesn't die, if
he survives, more than likelyhe's going to be a vegetable.
You know, yeah, drooling andfed with a tube and probably not
be able to.
You know just nothing.
Function yeah, can't move, justnothing.
Function, yeah, can't move.
(54:48):
Like Tyler was I described asfrom here up, perfect, yeah,
because he could think he justcouldn't do nothing about the
thought he couldn't talk.
That's Jason's boy, yeah, yeah,and.
But he understood everything Iwould be saying.
And then he learned to textwith his toes on, like a little
(55:10):
kid's board thing ABC board.
Yeah, and he would.
But I had like telepathy withhim.
He would just grunt at me acertain way and I'd have to go
get ice cream Cause that was ourthing If I walked in their
house without I'm getting offtrack.
We're fine, we're going where Iwant to go, if I walked into the
(55:32):
room where Tyler was on thecouch and the entryway is down
the way and I could see as Icome to the door and he's eye
fucking me.
I'm just going to say it.
You're good, he's eye fucking mefrom the minute I walk in.
And I'm walking in and I'mgetting this look and I'm just
going to say it, you're good.
He's eye-fucking me from theminute I walk in.
(55:53):
And I'm walking in and I'mgetting this look and I'm like
what.
And he's just glaring at me andI'm like you want some dibs,
huh, and he's like Ice cream,yep.
That's what he'd bring him allthe time, I figured, because he
could actually get them do ithimself and they wouldn't melt
on him, you know, because he'dchaw down a bar or two.
But these things were perfectfor him because he could do that
(56:15):
.
So I'd get the look and I'd gookay, I'll be right back.
And then I learned not to comewithout dibs because I got them
strung out on dibs.
Speaker 3 (56:25):
Not to jump forward, we're jumping forward.
But I just want to say thatmike had a connection with tyler
.
That where what mike had wentthrough and what tyler was going
through, because tyler was in acoma just like joseph, and mike
(56:46):
already went through what I wasgoing through.
Because tyler was in a comajust like joseph, and mike
already went through what I wasgoing through and with what mike
was going through, he latchedon to tyler because his boy was
gone and he latched on to tylerand he was there through the
whole coma, the hospitals, thecome home, the rehabilitation.
(57:09):
Mike was there every day and Idon't know if you realize it,
mike, but you latched on toTyler with like your boy was
gone, so you latched on to Tylerwhat you had left.
Speaker 2 (57:22):
I appreciate you saying that, because I blocked
how much and how much time Ispent with tyler.
I haven't blocked that out, butthe blur ever since then.
yeah, it's like I can remembersome highlights and I remember
going over there.
I couldn't even find that house, probably if I tried, but I
(57:43):
probably could.
But um, yeah, I'm glad you youbrought that up because we were
talking about it and I probablydidn't make that connection.
But that's exactly probablywhat it was.
It is Because, going back toJoe, he was, you know, just done
, he was just there and we wereon the waiting game.
Speaker 3 (58:05):
We did that same game with Tyler yeah.
Speaker 2 (58:07):
I don't know if you remember, we did the same and
they don't tell you that theyhow many times they tried to
take them off support and theystill ain't breathing on their
own.
So they got to put it back inand I found all this out from.
They're smart not to tell youbecause they're you'll be even
worse than you are.
And I met.
We lived down there basicallyfor six months I did.
(58:30):
I went down there Thursdaynight after work, talked him
into Friday off and stayed tillSunday night till his mom showed
up, if she showed up, and thenI'd go home, go to work, try and
keep insurance going, all thatshit and but no drinking and no
part just doing the deal.
I was clean down there.
There was a point that's whereI broke.
What do you mean?
I had been not drinking at all.
(58:52):
Hold on.
Speaker 1 (58:54):
Let's take a break, yeah.
Speaker 4 (58:57):
Let's do this.
Let's do this, guys, because Iwant to turn this into episode
42.
So we got to learn about Mike,right, we got to learn about
Mike.
When we come back next week,we're going to get into Mike and
Jason's story.
Next week's going to be tough,but we're going to pick up where
he breaks.
Speaker 1 (59:17):
Yes, we're going to pick up where Mike is starting
to pick back up his drinkingBecause Kim's pregnant with
Mikey at this time.
Speaker 3 (59:21):
He's a baby, right.
Speaker 4 (59:23):
So let's go ahead and take a break.
Let's come back and we're goingto dig into that part, this,
okay.
So let's go ahead and take abreak.
Let's come back and we're goingto dig into that part.
This has been recoveryunfiltered.
You can reach us at recoveryunfiltered podcast at gmailcom.
Come back next week, guys.
You're going to want to hearthe rest of this, thank you.
Thank you for joining us today.
We hope you learned somethingtoday that will help you If you
did not come back next week, andwe'll try again If you like.
(59:45):
What?
Speaker 1 (59:45):
we heard, give us a five-star review.
If you don't like what youheard, kiss my ass.
I can't say that, can you?
Anyway, if you don't like whatyou heard, go ahead and tell us
that too.
We'll see what we can improve.
Speaker 4 (59:53):
We probably won't change nothing, but do it anyway
, it makes Rob Come back nextweek and hopefully something
will be different and somethingwill sink in.
Take care you.
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