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October 30, 2025 41 mins

What do you do when life doesn’t go according to plan? At just 22, Christy Pennison was unexpectedly pregnant, and what could have felt like an ending became the beginning of an entirely new life. In this episode, she shares with Stephanie how that pivotal moment launched her journey into motherhood, leadership, and ultimately entrepreneurship.

From the struggles of early parenting and financial stress to building a 7-figure therapy business and inspiring others, Christy’s story is one of resilience, grace, and redefinition. She invites us to accept the season we’re in, stop comparing, and trust that growth often comes from the most unexpected places.

Connect w Christy:
FB: facebook.com/christylynnpennison OR /christypennison
IG: @christypennison @inspiringpossible
Podcast: https://christypennison.com/inspiring-possible-podcast/
Free Download: https://christypennison.com/workbook/

About Christy:
Christy Pennison is a board-certified counselor, 7-figure business building entrepreneur, host of the Inspiring Possible Podcast, co-owner of The Practice Collab (a business that supports group therapy practice owners) and founder of Be Inspired Counseling & Consulting, a multi-location therapy practice in Central Louisiana.  She has coached and advised dozens of leaders, mental health professionals, and business owners from across the country to help them grow through the many challenges they face.  Due to her knowledge and leadership, she is highly recognized by other professionals in her field. As a result, she was awarded the 20 under 40 Acadiana Leadership Award and named the 2024 Central Louisiana Remarkable Woman of the Year. In addition, she has been a guest on the Montel Williams’ podcast Free Thinking, and her expertise has been regularly featured in articles on NBC, Today, and many other media outlets and publications.  She is passionate about empowering individuals to live with confidence, conviction, and limitless belief that anything is possible.

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Would you like to chat more about this episode's topic? I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @wellmindedcounseling

I wrote a book! Becoming Mommy: Aligning with yourself and finding your voice during pregnancy and motherhood, available at all major retailers - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DZT9P3RB?ref=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cp_ud_dp_KFT90ZBDS48FDGG6DH5X&ref_=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cp_ud_dp_KFT90ZBDS48FDGG6DH5X&social_share=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cp_ud_dp_KFT90ZBDS48FDGG6DH5X&bestFormat=true

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:48):
Welcome to Redefying Us, where we explore sexuality,
identity, motherhood, and mentalhealth to help women thrive
authentically.
Let's break free from roles thatlimit us and create a life where
you can truly be yourself.
Welcome back to Redefying Us.
Today we have on with us ChristyPennison, who is a licensed

(01:10):
therapist.
She also runs her own podcastcalled Inspiring Possible.
There's also a downloadablecalled Dream It, Write It, Do
It, which is a workbook that shehas created to help you recreate
what's possible for you.
I'm really excited for you tolisten to this podcast today.

(01:30):
She really speaks about hermotherhood journey and how she
became unexpectedly a mom at 22and really her whole journey
about rewriting what her dreamsand her goals were at that very
pivotal time.
So can't wait for you to listen.
Really, a great interview todaywith Christy.

(01:51):
Welcome back to Redefining Us.
I'm your host, StephanieContrajera, and I have with me
today Christy Pennison.
So excited to have you on,Christy.
Yeah, I'm so excited to be here.
Thank you for having me.
Yeah.
So in general spirit of thepodcast, uh, different phases
where we redefine ourselves andour like life's trajectory and

(02:16):
who who we are.
So yeah, let's start off bytalking about a moment that you
felt like was pivotal for youand redefining who you were.

SPEAKER_01 (02:26):
You know, there's actually really two moments that
come to mind, I think.
And I don't know why thesemoments, there's probably a lot
more multiple moments.
If you really start to take fromthe the most one that stopped
that, you know, comes to mindand then break it down from
there.
But I think one of the biggestmoments, and especially since,
you know, sometimes we I knowyou talk about motherhood on
here, was me finding out that Iwas gonna have a baby.

(02:49):
And I was in a very uniqueposition.
I was in college, and you know,my life plan was to not be 22
and unexpectedly pregnant andalso become like a solo parent.
Okay.
So this was not in my plan of my22, you know, year old self of

(03:12):
saying, like, this is what Ienvision for my life, being
responsible for a human.
And I can actually, you know,just vividly remember there was
a few key things that had juststarted to go on in my life.
Like I'd have just applied forthis scholarship with like the
Rotary Club, where I could havegotten like this graduate degree

(03:33):
in overseas, and I was gonnalike maybe apply to this like
general master's degree, savethe world type degree program in
Ireland, and I was gonna beliving my best life.
And I had a really good chanceof getting it because I had
applied before a few yearslater, but they said, look,
you're a little young, you havea lot of experience because I
did some like internationalmission work where you've been

(03:55):
in these other places.
So we know that you had thisgive back spirit, which is
whether things say look for inapplicants.
So we know this could be a greatfit for you, but we just want
you to reapply when you get alittle bit older and really have
a clear direction of where youwant your life to go.
So I was like, ooh, I think Ifigured it out.
I think I figured it out, youknow, because it takes us a
minute to figure out things inlife.

(04:15):
And I still didn't have anythingfigured out, but that's what I
thought, right?
Like I figured out where I thinkI want to go.
I want to go be overseas.
I was gonna be one of thosepeople that worked for maybe
like an NGO and go into theplaces where people were like,
you know, really needing helpand they were needing to get
transferred.
I mean, I in a different countryother than here.
So that was my original idea ofmy mind.

(04:37):
And, you know, I remembervividly the day that I was like,
I went to Chili's with a friendof mine the night before, and we
were drinking margaritas.
Okay, again, guys, I was 22.
Was not expecting to bepregnant.
And we're just I knew that therewas something that was off.
I knew that I was a little bitlike late.

(04:57):
And I was like, I wonder, Iwonder, this has really bothered
me.
I wonder if I am how and myfriend was like, how crazy would
that be?
And I'm like, still drinking mymarine, how crazy, right?
And I remember I went to theDollar General because of course
I was a college student livingoff a shoestring budget, and I
got me one of them dollarpregnancy tests, and I took it

(05:18):
home and really said a bunch ofhopes and prayers, and then you
know, the plus sign came onthere.
Okay.
And I was like, oh my gosh, thisis real.
Like, I'm pregnant, and I hadcertain, you know, ingrained
belief systems about like if I'mpregnant that this is what's

(05:40):
gonna happen.
That was just my way and myexperience.
And so I'm like, I'm I'm gonnabe like a parent, you know, and
I was honestly depressed forabout a week, literally.
And I tell this story, and I tryto tell my daughter, like, it's
just because I had to wrap myhead around the fact that I was
gonna be responsible for a humanbeing and that my life was not

(06:01):
gonna go in the trajectory thatI thought it was.
So I had to call the guy thathad submitted my application for
that, you know, um grant and umscholarship for that that
program and say, look, I have torescind my application.
He's like, Well, why?
And I'm like, Oh, how do I tellthis story?
And I also just had to startredefining in a lot of ways that

(06:25):
this was gonna be my reality.
And it only took about a week,and then I was like, okay, we're
just gonna, this is life.
I'm gonna have this baby andwe're gonna do the best we can
with what we know.
And so I joined the the nursepartnerships programs because I
again I was I consider myselfsomewhat smart, but I was still
real dumb back then.
Okay.
And so I needed help about howto keep a human alive.

(06:46):
And I think me and you've talkedabout this.
Like, nobody sends you home witha manual.
Yeah, you know, you can bereally educated and still not
know what to do with a child,okay?
And so I remember I got enrolledin like these programs that
would teach me how to getprepared.
I actually was working like twojobs and going to school.
And so I was really trying toprepare myself for this new

(07:08):
future.
But along the way, what Irealized, especially after she
got here, which anybody that hashad a child before, you realize
that you're like, oh my God, Ican imagine my life ever without
you, you know.
And you also have so much lovefor something that essentially
came from you.
And I just remember thinking, ohmy gosh, I I have so much love.

(07:31):
What I'm gonna do is try tofigure out what it is that I'm
passionate about and go in thedirection of that dream because
hopefully that will give herpermission to do the same.
Because I want her to be able tobe in a world where she realizes
that if she has an idea or avision of what she would like to
create for her life, I wantedthat to be possible.

(07:52):
But when you asked me what's themajor one, I really think that
was a pivotal point in my life.
And if I look back in hindsight,it was one of the biggest
blessings of my life and reallypushed me in a way way past my
comfort zone.
Because okay, 22, got to getresponsible.
Can't just be going out doingwhatever you want.
And then it also pushed metowards goals that I may not

(08:14):
have set had I not had thatlevel of responsibility in the
way that I'd had it.
Because I also knew like thischild's life, it because the
other parent didn't chose not tobe a part of her life, um, then
it depended on me.
So if we're gonna have a goodlife, it's gonna depend on me.
Sure, in the early days, I waslike, maybe there'll be somebody
come along and we'll have thathappen.

(08:35):
We'll uh spoiler alert forlisteners, I'm now almost 40
years old, and you know, thatreally ain't happened yet.
So, you know, 20 do the math.
So I really it really pushed meto strive for more, I think, in
a lot of ways than I wouldn'thave maybe had strived in that
way prior to.

SPEAKER_00 (09:48):
Yeah, it almost seems like you became laser
focused on providing yourdaughter a good life rather than
just like what are my personalaspirations.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (10:00):
Yeah.
And and you know, and that thenthat sometimes helps you reshape
just not just about me, now it'sabout somebody else.
And I've got to re-redefine whatthat looks like for not just me,
but for whoever else.
And that's for anybody in theirlife, you know, whoever's
whoever's along for your partyand is a part of your tribe, you
know.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (10:18):
Yeah.
I'm kind of curious, like, whatthings did you find helped you
figure it out along the way?
Like, were there any people orthings that you read, or just
like moments that you had thatfelt like epiphanies or
something that helped younavigate that time?

SPEAKER_01 (10:36):
Well, as you as you well know, Stephanie, this is a
journey.
So nothing happened, you know,overnight.
Um, but I would definitely saymultiple points along the way,
there were other people thatinfluenced my journey.
Whether it was influence andthey didn't even know, like just

(10:58):
giving me an example of whatlife could have been.
There could have been, I knowfor me, especially my younger
days, my spiritual mentors werebig guides for me.
And I think that reallysupported me a lot.
And then, of course, I hadinfluences, I would say
positively for family.
Not everybody is so fortunate,but my family was super
supportive.

(11:18):
Maybe not necessarily in in allthe ways, but they were
supportive in a like a mental.
Like you, if you put your mindto this, we believe that you can
do that.
And I think that was a big, bigsupporter of me.
And they did support me also inthe early days because I was a
broke college student.
And I'm like, mama, I need aplace to live with this child.
I don't depend you, depend onyou to buy diapers.

(11:39):
You know, I remember at the timeI like worked uh as like a case
manager for a homelesscoalition.
And then I also worked for a,oh, what else do I do?
I waited tables.
I waited tables and then I wasgoing to school.
So I mean, I was like, at somepoint they told me, ma'am,
you're too big.
You can no longer weigh tablesbecause we're afraid you're
going to trip in the back alley.
And so I was like, okay, well,then I guess this is my time to

(12:00):
like take my maternity leave.
And I put this in quotationbecause, you know, maternity
leave was like, you know, hopeyou saved up some money to do um
take care of this child.
So those were just a few things.
But I think mentors, and then Ithink also just exposure to
different opportunities.
So, you know, I started out in ajob.

(12:20):
My first I say job after high orhigh school college was as a
child forensic interviewer.
And that was a really tough job,but it was a rewarding in some
ways.
But it pushed me to the nextthing, which was okay, maybe I
want to help these kidsindividually one-on-one.
And so then I did theindividual, I got into master's
program for counseling.

(12:41):
And then that pushed me to thenext thing, you know.
So each along the path, I thinkthere were mentors in my life or
people that help guide and showdifferent opportunities for
possibilities to really kind oflead me to where I'm at today,
which is way different than Iwould have thought of when I was
22, you know?
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (12:58):
Yeah, I imagine.
I mean, every not everyone, butmost people at 22 are like, all
right, there's like all of theseoptions, like which way do I
take?
And then when you have a kid foranyone who's had a kid, it's
like, okay, maybe there's stilloptions, but they're a little
bit different now that I havethis small child to take care of

(13:19):
and your schedule and your freetime and your mental space and
all those things become morenarrow.
So like having people around youto hopefully guide and support
you can make a huge differenceon whether or not you're able to
move forward or kind of getstuck in this, like, oh my god
place.

SPEAKER_01 (13:38):
Oh my gosh, totally.
And listen, let me tell yousomething.
I tell about this all the timebecause people sometimes are
like, when I really think backon some of the ways that I
actually like made it andsurvived in life, you know, it
was because there were keypeople that just ended up
falling in my life at the righttime.
Like, whether it was my mom whodid allow me to stay, me and my
daughter to stay with her and mystepdad for at least because I

(14:00):
was living there anyways while Iwas at college.
They let me stay in my likelittle, it's like a one and a
half story.
And so on the top story was likea little half two rooms was me
and my daughter's room.
So I was able to stay thereuntil she was 10 months old and
I was able to afford buying amobile home and then moving
across the woods from them,Stephanie.
I mean, really, I didn't go far.
And while I I got my job andlearned how to to, you know,

(14:24):
again live within my means, takecare of my child and myself.
And then it was people like Ineeded to go back to work at
when I when she was four monthsold.
I needed to start working, youknow.
And I remember I was gettingthat first full-time job.
And there just happened to bethis lady who would keep kids
out of her home.
Her name was Danny Fran.

(14:45):
And I I still think about ittoday, but she only charged$75 a
week.
Okay.
Now, Stephanie, I knowStephanie's like, what?
And but you know, I rememberthat, like, ah, there is no way
I could have afforded any morethan that at that point.
Because I can even remember whenshe took a little bit of time
off because she had to go takecare of herself because she was

(15:06):
older and she had appointments.
That I was like, oh, can welike, are we gonna get a
progeted?
Because that was how I had tostretch those pennies, right?
Now, now in hindsight, I'm like,number one, I knew she was a
blessing at a time, but now thatI'm older, I'm like, what a
blessing that was that helped meget to the next stage of my
journey, you know, and shepretty much raised my baby till

(15:28):
four from four months old tillshe was going into preschool.
And I just think about thingslike that and think about the
impact that that really made onmy life to help me get a little
bit further down the road untilI did have more opportunities or
I could take different, makedifferent choices.

SPEAKER_00 (15:43):
Yeah.
I I know obviously child careexpenses have changed a lot in
the last like 18 years orwhatever.
But I mean, that was likeprobably the cheapest on the
block.
Okay.
Yeah, I mean, it's great thatthere's people like that that
you know can provide serviceslike that for people because

(16:05):
yeah, I think the wholechildcare system like is just
insane, anyways.
Like, if you expect us to work,we also need affordable care.

SPEAKER_01 (16:16):
Well, and let's be honest, you know, I mean, it it
it is crazy.
And I live in Louisiana, so thewhere I live at is even more
small town and the cost ofliving is a little bit more
less, but yeah, it is crazy tothink about how that can really
be a choice, like where peoplehave to make like, do I do I go
back to work or you know, thisis how much it costs?

(16:39):
Like, can I do that?
And you know, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (16:42):
I've heard from some people this is kind of getting
off topic, but like thatchildcare is like the second
most expensive thing that theyhave to pay for, like outside of
like their own home.
It's like child care.
And then sometimes even likecars come after childcare for
some people, which is crazy thatlike I don't know, I think cars

(17:02):
are expensive.
So, like the idea that childcareit could be more expensive than
a car is mind-blowing.

SPEAKER_01 (17:09):
I mean, I believe it.
I believe it.
You know, I was talking to afriend the other day, and again,
how do we got off on hand?
But she was like, Listen, I'mjust excited that my child is
going now into school.
The last one is, and we're aboutto transition, even though it'll
be a little bit transitioning,because she's like having both
of them at one point in childcare and they oh, excuse me, and
then getting to the point wherewe're like, now we just have one

(17:31):
and now we might not even havethat.
I mean, the financial, thefinancial realities of owning,
uh owning, of having a child,not owning a child, of having
children.
Thinking about that car, owninga car.
You know, having a child is it'sit's a real thing.
And I think, you know, sometimesI look at people and I'm like,

(17:54):
how?
How do they do it?
Because there can be suchexpenses, and then you have to
figure out in your life whereyou're at, what does that look
like for you in that season?
And I think that is one thing.
I don't know if you've learnedthis, Stephanie or are learning.
I'm still learning, is that, youknow, along the journey, you
have different seasons.
And so there's stuff that Icould do now that I wasn't able

(18:15):
to do in the different seasonswhen my daughter was at
different ages.
Or, you know, now that I'm alittle bit older, right?
I look at some of the stuffthat's coming up as she gets
closer to adult age, which shereminds me, she's turning 18
next year.
I know it's crazy.
I'm like, I'm not that old.
Okay.
But, anyways, you know, there'sjust things that you think about

(18:37):
that you're like, wow, okay.
So I think your capacity isdifferent at different season,
also based off of the supportthat you have, right?
Like if you are in a highsupport situation, whether it be
financially, emotionally, thesupport of just doing some of
the things that, you know,raising a child requires, like
getting them ready and gettingthem food and getting them all

(18:59):
these things, you know, youknow, taking care of them, I
think sometimes you might havemore capacity.
But that support factor, Ithink, is different for
different people and atdifferent stages of life.
And some people don't know howto support you at different, the
different phases.
Like I had a family member whowas like, if the child gets
older, I will help out.
Other than that, I don't knowwhat to do with the baby.

(19:20):
So please do not pass the babythis way, you know.
But when they got older, theywere able to be more supportive.
So I think it depends on whereyour village is.
If you have a village at whatcapacity that can help, do you
have friends that you can likevent about stuff with parenting?
Even before we push the recordbutton, I was venting about, you
know, part of my currentstruggle with parenting a

(19:43):
teenager is multi, you know,it's multi-layered.
And and that's another thingtoo.
The seasons of the child changesand the challenges you're
dealing with the child changes,right?
So what's your thoughts aboutall this?

SPEAKER_00 (19:55):
Yeah, I guess I was just thinking, going back to the
seasons of like redefining whatyour life looks like as well as
like your parenting.
Like right now, my main missionevery day with Ella is like make
sure she doesn't kill herself.
Like, let's, you know, babyproofthis house so she doesn't grab a
knife or she doesn't dosomething wild.

(20:18):
Um, but I imagine at like 17,there's other things that you're
concerned about on a day-to-daybasis, except besides the knife
drawer.
And I think that allows for adifferent space in your own
brain, in your own life mission.
Yeah, I don't know.
I as a viewer of your life,Christy, I'm like, oh man, she's

(20:39):
going on all these cool trips.
Like, that's awesome.
Maybe one day I can do that too.
And then I'm like, oh yes, butlike she has a teenager and like
I have a toddler.
It's like very different lifestages.
And very different.

SPEAKER_01 (20:56):
And it and it is crazy.
And I think you're bringing up agood point because I think this
is something that we all haveto, it's so hard to remember
this when we're in such a umlike social media age, you know.
I can even think about when mydaughter was growing up.
I mean, I was still on socialmedia, but it was it was very
different, you know, like it'sit's crazy to think.

(21:17):
I mean, I always did try to takeher, but like she would probably
if I was going on a trip, it'dprobably be her coming.
Now I can actually leave her.
Now, whether that's a goodchoice because she, her
monitoring is really importantright now.
You know, but I do have supportsystems in place where it's
like, okay, you go stay over atgrandma's house.
Well, if she's going tograndma's house, she's sleeping

(21:38):
half the day, right?
And she can get up and feedherself and choose whether she
wants to eat or not.
And she may or may not take abath.
And Caitlin, if you're listeningto this, I'm really sorry.
But this is the reality of howteenage life really goes, right?
Like she does take good care ofher hygiene, but she can she
chooses, she doesn't have towait, like, she's not waiting on

(21:59):
me to provide for her.
And even now, she's old enoughto where she's now driving that,
like, if she really wants foodand I can't provide it for her
in that moment.
Sometimes I can give herpermission to go grab something,
you know?
So there is that less umdependence on me for things,
which then allows that freedom,a little bit more freedom that I

(22:23):
have.
And I'll never forget this is agreat, this is a great
conversation that we moved intohere.
So I had a friend who I rememberwhen I lived in a different
city.
So this is like Caitlin wouldhave been about maybe six,
seven, eight, nine, somewhere inthat range, right?
So, like elementary school.
And um, we became friends andshe had teenagers.
And I remember sometimes shewould go on because we were both

(22:46):
single moms, okay.
So we was all about that tryingto find that date in life.
It was a whole nother thing.
That's a whole nother segment,dating with kids and all the
kind of things.
And I would get so a little bitlike frustrated, to be honest,
or a little bit annoyed, becauseshe would go on dates and she
would stay out pretty late andeventually get home.
And I'd be always be like, Doyou do you not need to be at

(23:09):
home?
So that you're you know, we knowyou still have kids, like you
know, this is in the back of mymind, right?
But now that I have a daughterthat's a teenager, I can kind of
see, yeah.
I mean, if she doesn't want tobe by me half the time anyway.
So if I go somewhere, as long asI'm know that she's safe, as
long as I can kind of check inon her, because there's all
things like call wife 360 andall this kind of stuff.

(23:31):
I can make sure she's where sheneeds to be.
She has access to call me if sheneeds because she has a cell
phone, then I can sometimes goand do things.
And it was so, it's so weird tothink back on how I even thought
about her, you know, being ableto do stuff and kind of like,
oh, I have to like organize ababysitter.
The babysitter has to be here ata certain time.
I have to make sure I get homeat a certain time to relieve the

(23:54):
babysitter.
You know, oh, is it a schoolnight or not a school night?
I'm gonna have to wake up in themorning and get her to school.
When I was really, there was oneguy that I dated pretty
seriously when we lived in thisother city.
And I can remember I was even soconscious about like, okay, if
this person is staying, theyneed to leave out in the morning
and then come bring some donutsand act like they're coming.

(24:17):
You know what I mean?
So, like it was a whole thing.
But there's so many things that,you know, in those different
stages and phases that, youknow, you have a more level of I
don't want to say responsibilitybecause I think the level of
responsibility is the same, butit's like different types of
responsibilities to this tinyhuman that you're trying to get

(24:37):
to adulthood.

SPEAKER_00 (24:38):
And I think they switch so quickly.
Like even now, you know, mybaby's almost two.
Like, I think to myself, I wasthinking about it this morning
when I was getting her ready forschool.
I was like, I can go into theother room and like get dressed.
Will she follow me?
Yes, but like I could walk awayfrom her.
Like six months ago, a year ago,she would lose her freaking mind

(25:01):
if I walked out of her sight.
Now she's just like, Oh, I'm notwhatever, ma'am.
I'll stay here.
And like I dropped her off atschool today, didn't even care,
just like went to go play withher friend.
She's like, Okay, bye.
Like, I'm like, all right, okay,bye.
She doesn't need me as muchanymore.
And so I think it can happeneven like so quickly, the

(25:22):
turnover.
And so, yeah, going back to thethe redefining piece, like you'd
redefine what your relationshipwith them is, and then you
redefine what your relationshipwith your own time and space and
like mental energy, and thenthat extends to like even your
relationship with other people.
I now have more time, like Iwent and had drinks with some
friends on Saturday night, andlike the days are confusing me.

(25:46):
And like one of those days Iwent for drink somewhere.
But like maybe six months ago, Iwould have been like, I don't
know if I can go.
Like, is she gonna be okay beingput to bed by my husband?
And I again to fully trust myhusband, he could totally do it.
Or like for you, maybe like yourmom could put your kid to bed,
right?
Whatever.

(26:06):
Like, yeah, I don't know.
It's just like a different Iwould be like sad to like miss
bedtime before.
Not to say that I'm not sad now,but like now I'm like, there's
just one bedtime, like there's athousand more bedtimes.
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (26:19):
I know it's so crazy, and it does switch so
fast.
Like you said, not only yourcapacity or your relationship
with what you're what with yourchild, and then and then also
what you how you interactingwith other world.
And I would just say that itreally is okay.
So, like if you are in a placewhere your baby is younger and

(26:39):
you're like, I want to protectthis time totally.
Do you do whatever works foryou, and also if you can't do
that, also give yourself somegrace as well.
Because, you know, I alwaysthink about it this way,
Stephanie.
I don't know about you, but Ihave thought about people have
been having kids for like along, long time.
Like we got billions of peoplein the world, guess what?

(27:01):
Trillions, I think, somethinglike that.
And they all came from somebody.
And I mean, kids have beenraised in so many different
cultures, environments withthings, without things.
I mean, I'll never forget thatone of my most pivotal moments
that just helped open myworldview is I did this mission
trip when I was like a teenagerto Brazil.
And I mean, these kids wereliving in severe poverty, but

(27:24):
they were living in a dump.
They don't realize that theywere in that situation, right?
Um, or maybe they did, but theymaybe didn't realize what the
vastness difference of, I don'tknow what their experience was,
but I reminded myself that kidshave been raised in all kinds of
different situations.
And there's so many ways to livethis life, and there's so many

(27:46):
ways that you can choose toparent.
That's the one thing.
They get dropped down to you.
So, you know, mine, whether shelikes it or not, she got dropped
down to me.
I'm sure there's some days inher teenage angst that she would
rather be dropped off atsomebody else's.
But guess what?
I'm it, and also with with thesituation surrounding how you

(28:06):
got dropped off here, it's meand you.
So, which plays a wholedifferent level of complexity on
parenting sometimes.
But we got to figure out how tomake it.
And you know, that's thereality.
So it's gonna look different atdifferent times, and then you
will readjust sometimes, havinga refocus energy, like we were
just talking about, you know,right now in the season.

(28:28):
I feel like I'm trying torefocus a little bit energy back
to her, where maybe I had kindof like let her go prepare for
this independence she has comingup in the next few years, trying
to let her work thatindependence muscle.
But then I'm like, oh, maybe youdon't need that much
independence, and I need toparent more.
Great.
So then you go backwards.
So I think it's always like anebb and flow of where you're at.

(28:51):
And that's why I think, and wehaven't gotten to this point
yet.
But if I was to say one thingthat I would really encourage
listeners to do is find a way tolive an aligned life that is
aligned for you.
Don't worry about little Susieover there in the corner, what
she's doing in her perfectparenting world, or even Juliet,
who's over there looking likeshe's country hopping and living

(29:13):
her best life on the islands.
Like whoever it is, yeah, youjust have to remember that how
can I live aligned in thisseason?
And I think what's mostimportant in this season,
because what's most important inthis season is not going to be
what's most important in thenext season.
And I've really had to kind of,as I look back, you can see this
more when you're looking backversus when you're going forward
into something you've never gonebefore, is there's been uh so

(29:37):
many different seasons.
And like you said, it changes soquick.
It's so quick.
Like you're like one moment themost lovable person on the
planet, and then they're not nomore.
Okay.
So, like, there's so manyseasons of how it ebbs and
flows, and it really is just ajourney, and you have to figure
out what that journey looks likefor you and how you want it to
look like for your child.
And I've seen people do it athousand different ways, and

(29:57):
whatever way you choose, as longas you're not, you know, causing
harm to yourself or otherpeople, then go forth and
prosper, you know.

SPEAKER_00 (30:04):
Something that I is coming up for me while you're
saying this is this idea oftrying to go with the flow.
I've met some people in my timethat I feel like resist the
stage that they're in and theybecome angsty about the stage
that they're in, which thencauses misalignment within

(30:25):
themselves and also misalignmentwith how they're relating to
life and all these things.
Like this is just a very surfacelevel example.
It's not meant to diss anyonewho does this, but I'm thinking
to myself of like people whostill have young children who
like want to stay up till like 2a.m.
in the morning and just go forit.
Great, love that for you.

(30:47):
But I think about like the nextday, you must be exhausted
because your kids woke up atlike 6 a.m.
Because that's the season oflife that you're in.
To me, that feels a littleresistant to just accepting that
like maybe right now my bedtimeshould be nine, just so I can
get enough sleep.
Again, people do you do whatmakes you happy, but that would

(31:09):
be in a misalignment with me andmyself to stay up until 2 a.m.
doing whatever, whether it'swatching TV or playing board
games or video games orwhatever, and then having to
wake up at six.
Like I would be a miserablehuman being who would just like
hate life if I did that.
Yeah.
Right.
So, like, I think it's just toremember that maybe right now is

(31:29):
not the time to stay up until 2a.m.
Like you said, maybe right nowyour child needs you more than
maybe you thought that she did.
So now it's like, all right,switching gears again, just kind
of rolling with the quoteunquote punches rather than
trying to like resist.

SPEAKER_01 (31:43):
Yeah.
I mean, I think acceptance goesa long way in any area of life,
you know?
And it doesn't mean that youjust accept things in a not
great state.
Like if your child is strugglingor you're struggling with
parenting or you are post havingsome postpartum struggles.
I mean, whatever it is,acceptance also means like I
accept that this is what's goingon.
And I may want to make differentchanges because I don't want to

(32:07):
continue in this state.
But I think that, yeah, I mean,I've I've learned anytime that
I, especially when it comes toraising humans, and I know
that's where we've kind of likelingered at today, but like when
it comes to raising humans, themore you can accept also who you
are and a child for who theyare.
I think that's a big deal.
I think early on in myparenting, one of the struggles

(32:29):
I really had was my daughter isvery different than me.
I'm a seven on the Enneagram.
I learned recently she's a fouron the Enneagram.
Okay.
And I was like a super veryacademic person, made great
grades.
My daughter has struggled herwhole, you know, school career
of, you know, her school, schoolsituation.
And, you know, I think if Iwould have tried to force my

(32:52):
expectations of how thingsshould be or how she should be,
and maybe I should do that stillsome more right now in the
teenage age, but if I would haveforced some of that, then I
think it would have really beena disservice to me and to her.
And so I think you do have toredefine also expectations of
how this parenting thing shouldgo, how your life should go.

(33:15):
Again, you know, I struggled fora long, long, long, long, long,
long time about the fact that Iwas doing this a solo journey.
I didn't like it.
I was always waiting forsomebody to come around and help
me, help me.
But you know what?
I realized that I did actuallyhave help in different types of
ways.
It might have not been a live inperson with me that helped me in
that capacity.

(33:36):
But the more you can get to thatacceptance piece of this is what
it is, how can we, how can welive as most fully in this
moment as possible?
I think you're gonna have a lotless regrets because I mean,
parenting regret is a real deal.
And I have regrets.
I'm not gonna lie, I think weall will probably, especially
us.
I think we're both therapists.
Okay.
So you you realize as you getolder about how the childhood

(33:58):
really does affect youradulthood, and you're like,
whoa, am I like ruining my childright now?
Because you're gonna have to goto a lot of trauma therapy
because of this experience.
But you do the best you can withwhat you know.
And I love one of the peoplethat actually works in the
therapy practice with me.
She always uses that quote, youknow, when you know better, you
do better.
And I did not know a lot when Istarted out on this journey.

(34:21):
And I still don't know probablya lot, but I've gained a few
things.
And I think if I've gainedanything, it's allow yourself to
learn because children will bethe best personal development
you ever did.
That in a business.
Yeah.
You want a character developmentone-on-one?
Both, okay.
And it may be a relationship inthere too, okay.

(34:43):
So you know.

SPEAKER_00 (34:44):
Well, they're great mirrors.
They I think show you who youare during like hard times and
like show you who you are whenyou need to be brave and have
courage to to change your topush yourself.

SPEAKER_01 (34:56):
Yeah.
But I mean, this is all aroundto people in your corner too.
Like I do think when you havepeople, people push you,
hopefully, you know, to faceuncomfortable truths, you know,
or even like I said, parenting.
Sometimes you have to face someof the things like, oh, wait, is
that me trying to push this, oris it like really how I should

(35:17):
be acting right now?
And you know, there's I wouldalso say just grace for the
journey and grace for thejourney, because you need it.
And you need to give it toyourself, you need to give it to
your child, and you give it topeople around you, your
significant other, whereveryou're at, because we all just
trying to figure this thing outa day at a time.

SPEAKER_00 (35:35):
Yeah.

unknown (35:35):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (35:36):
I have this is a kind of a tangent by a client
who's like maybe like 19, 20.
And he said something to me thatI thought was really
interesting.
I'm like, oh, maybe just newgeneration, just a little bit
different.
Because I feel like I didn'tlearn this until I was like 25,
27, and it coming out of hismouth at like 19.
He's like, Yeah, realize likeparents are just trying to

(35:57):
figure it out every day, too.
Like, this is the first timethey're on earth as well.
It's like, what listen?

SPEAKER_01 (36:05):
I'm telling you what, I mean, I don't know about
you, Stephanie, but I canclearly remember growing up and
thinking to myself, my parentshave it all figured out.
Now, we're not gonna deep diveinto my parents.
I love them both very much, butI can assure you a thousand
percent they had not had itfigured out.
I mean, they actually did prettygood for what they knew, but
there was some things that theydidn't in hindsight do, you

(36:27):
know, the best.
Okay.
But overall, they well, I'llgive them like a you know, 9.5
out of 10.
Okay.
But the we get the point, theother point five, we give them
grace.
Okay.
And I'm sure if they heard this,they'd be like, What was 0.5?
I thought we did a great job.
Okay.
But they're just there's somechallenges along the way, and
that's just the reality of howthings go.
But I knew that I was loved andI knew I was cared for, and I
will say that those were thebedrocks, so I'm very grateful

(36:49):
for that because not everybodyhas that.
But I will say that as you know,as you go along, you do realize
that oh my gosh, I thought whenI arrived to a certain age that
I would feel confident in acertain way.
And and it is a wild ridebecause, like, again, I'm about
to hit that 40 mark, and I'mthinking to myself, Stephanie,

(37:10):
I'm like, why do I still feellike I'm barely scratching the
surface with what I know?
Maybe that's the thing thatchanges.
Like when you're 20, you'relike, I know it all.
And then by the time you get to40, you're like, dang it, I feel
like I'm still 20 years old in a40-year-old body and and
learning things.
For sure.

SPEAKER_00 (37:28):
There's moments that I even am now, I'm like, am I
responsible enough to have it onthose two-year-old?
I don't think that that's true.
Like, how did I get here?
I am sure that people feel thatmore as they get older because
it's like, wait a second, whatjust happened?
I thought I was 20 something.

SPEAKER_01 (37:45):
Yeah.
I mean, I for sure, even when Iwas 20s and I had that baby, I
thought somebody was coming totake this baby away.
Like I honestly, and not liketake them away from me, but like
I thought it was fake.
Like I was on a long babysittingjourney that just never ended.
And that somebody was at somepoint gonna say, actually, that
was my child, please get itback.
Because it was like so surreal.
Like you're like, how did we gethere?

(38:07):
And I think that's what we'retalking about is no matter
whether it's a stage in life, anage in life, a response, like,
you know, now you're responsiblefor human in life.
I mean, whatever that lookslike, responsible for dog in
life, I mean, whateverresponsibilities you got,
sometimes you look around andyou're like, who let me be
responsible for this situation?
I need to know.
Because then you realize, wait.

(38:28):
And then if I can really forcemyself to remember that we're
all just figuring this out a dayat a time, it does help me meet
people a lot differently thanwhat we typically go into in our
heads is like that person's gotit figured out and I'm the one
that's over here struggling.
But I think that we can just getmore to that awareness of your
experience is probably verysimilar, although different from

(38:49):
that other person's experience.
And if you are still strugglingto figure this out, it's a high
chance they are too.
You know, they just may do abetter job at masking the fact
that they seem to have it alltogether.

SPEAKER_00 (39:00):
For sure.
For sure.
Well, I want to say I appreciatea timing's conversation.
Um looking at the time andthinking, oh man, we need to
wrap up, which is sad because Ifeel like we could talk forever.
But I would love for you toshare where people can find you
if they want to connect with youfurther and yeah, maybe a little
bit about what you have going onand what people, yeah, can learn

(39:20):
being in your circle.

SPEAKER_01 (39:22):
Well, you know, guys, I'm still figuring it out.
So if you want to come, justwalk the journey and try to
figure it out for me.
You can go over toChristyPenison.com.
Um, there is a podcast that wetalk about how to create
possibilities in your lifebecause I've figured that out a
little bit, still trying tofigure that out more.
But if you would like to come,there's even a workbook.
If you like workbooks and youlike to reflect on like where am

(39:43):
I at right now in life and wheredo I want to get and how do I
want to redefine what life lookslike for me in this season,
there is a free resource on thatwebsite that you can download,
dream it, write it, do it.
It's just kind of a workbook tohelp you figure out how to go
set for this season that you'rein.
And so definitely check it outor DM me or whatever.
Look, I'm just a person figuringit out along the way.

(40:04):
And I loved having thisconversation with you because we
didn't know where it was goingto go when we started.
But hopefully, if you'relistening, this provides you
some permission that if you'rehere, then you know, you're
doing okay.
You're doing okay.
You know, we all figuring itout.

SPEAKER_00 (40:19):
Yes, one day at a time, one foot in front of the
other.
Well, thank you again.
Absolutely.
And thank you all for listening.
Thank you for tuning in toRedefining Us once again and
share with other people so otherpeople can continue to listen to
Redefining Us and we can getinto more listener's ears.

(40:40):
If you follow us or subscribe,or leave a comment, or review,
that would be greatly helpfulfor other people to find us, and
also just for me to get somefeedback.
What do you guys want to hear mesay?
What do you women care about tohear?
I'm totally open to bringing onguests and talking about topics
that are unique and inspiring toeveryone.

(41:03):
So please let me know.
And this year, hopefully we'vefull of a lot of community
building, a lot of publicspeaking, a lot of resource
sharing.
So I really encourage you tofollow us on social media at
Wellminded Counseling onInstagram as our handle, as well
as going directly to ourwebsite, lawminded
counseling.com backslashredefining us, so you can be in

(41:28):
the know with all the thingsthat are happening in the
Redefining Us community.
Once again, thank you so muchfor listening and keep being
awesome.
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