Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Please note this show contains adult language and themes and
is intended from mature audiences only.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Listener discretion is advised.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Jury Beloved, we are gathered here today to get through
this thing called life.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
You are listening to the Reset yourself with your host.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you me how
you guys doing today? Today has been a very good
day for me, and I hope it's a very good
(01:18):
day for you. I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving. I'm looking
forward to a few days with family, and then of
course beginning of the Christmas season this Saturday, hopefully going
to the Bardstown Christmas Day, which Bartstown is considered It's
a near town and it's considered one of the most beautiful
towns in the country when it comes to Christmas, or
(01:40):
looking forward to that. So getting into the Christmas energy.
So how are you all truly doing? Huh? My name is,
as she said, Jimmy Gonzalez. And in this weekly podcast,
I focus on sparking your inner confidence, igniting make sure
(02:02):
the volumes are good, igniting your belief in yourself. I'm
your host and I'm always very extremely thrilled to share
my thoughts and research with each and every one of
you as we go along on this journey together. I
believe strongly, okay it's two hundred and three episodes with
this one that you can nurture a mindset that empowers
(02:25):
you to reach your fullest potential. Not as I said,
can not, can't you can? I write a record every
episode to challenge your thinking. My thinking is thinking, and
to encourage you to reflect, to truly think about these
podcasts and inspire actionable, realistic steps towards personal growth, whether
(02:49):
you're facing a career transition, seeking to overcome challenges, or
simply striving for greater fulfillment in your life. For many,
for hundreds around the globe, this podcast has been their
go to resource for motivation and bract to insights. Thank you,
thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm very humbled. My
(03:09):
inspiration to do this show is to teach people to
focus more on what they can accomplish again, can so
they do the things they need to do when they
need to do them, so that ultimately they get the
things they want when they want to have them. This
episode is dedicated to all of you.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Tell me what you want and I will show you
how to get it. The question is that you're willing
to work for it. Well, good morning, good evening, good afternoon.
Wherever you're tuning in from, there's a lot of places
and many platforms, and I'm always excited to see the
(03:51):
lists grow and the many comments and likes and shares.
But today's topic, it's a very interesting one.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Today's topic should have done this around Halloween. But it's
about the mask that you're currently wearing. I'm not wearing
a mask. We all do, and discovering the real You
take a deep breath right now, right now, even if
you're driving. You don't have to close your eyes. Just
(04:22):
take a deep breath and just hold it for one second,
let it go. I asked that you imagine the person
you see when you look in the mirror this morning,
this afternoon, whenever, whenever you're next, look into the mirror
(04:43):
quickly before you, like just as you're brushing your teeth,
you glance up or brushing your hair, and you glance
up coming out of the shower and look at the mirror.
Walk But now I'm talking about like, really stop for
a second, Really stop for a second. Who is staring
back at you at this point, at your age? Is
(05:03):
it you? Is it really you? Is it the person
that started all of this? Or is it a version
that you've created over the years to cope, to survive,
to deal. Has have you become a version that the
world expects of you? A version you think you should
(05:25):
be just easier to deal with, A version design as
I said, to just survive. Most of us do live
behind masks. We start young learning how to protect ourselves.
Maybe it was fear, anxiety, or peer pressure that taught
(05:46):
us to hide. Maybe it was stress, expectation, or the
constant worry of judgment. You see masks. Masks are useful,
they help us survive, they protect us, but over time
they can also hide the real you from the real
world and sometimes from yourself. Think about it. Masks aren't
(06:15):
always obvious. They don't always come with labels. Sometimes they
are habits, routines, or personas that we tend to slip
into without realizing it. Some masks are small, temporary, a
smile when you feel nothing, a joke when you feel pain.
Some are bigger, pretending to be confident and successful or happy,
(06:39):
even when inside you're just dying and you're no longer
sure who you are anymore. The mask has become a
permanent part of your face, of your persona. The problem
isn't the mask itself. The problem is living in it
so long they forget what's underneath. I as I said,
(07:01):
who started this? You forget who you really were. You
look in the mirror and see the reflection of your mask,
not your truth. So the first step is awareness, noticing
that you're protecting yourself from with a mask. It's actually sad.
(07:25):
Observe where it appears in your life. Different masks, different
time periods, different masks you wear for different people, And
you ask yourself, when do I act differently than I feel?
When do I hide my thoughts or opinions around whom?
(07:45):
When do I perform instead of being present and be honest?
Ask yourself, do you feel the need to put on
different masks for different people in your life, for different relationships?
Or are you blessed and lucky to be able to
just be you all the time, doesn't matter who you're around,
(08:08):
no judgment, no awareness. I mean, just awareness, because awareness
is the first crack in the mask, and you realize,
wait a minute, every time, this is the type of
person I am with certain people. And then when this
person comes into my life, I have to put on
a mask and I can't talk about this or that,
(08:29):
or I can't bring this topic up or that topic
up because they may judge me, put me down, criticize me,
pick on me. Is it worth wearing a mask for anyone?
Because once you notice your masks and this next step
is rediscovery. Behind the mask is a person who has
(08:49):
been there all along, sometimes scared, sometimes quiet, sometimes brilliant,
sometimes flawed. You is neither perfect nor broken. The real
you just is. To rediscovery that self, you need to
reconnect with your feelings, your instincts, your truths, and ask
(09:13):
yourself questions like who am I when no one is watching?
What do I feel? But tend to not express? Which
parts of me have I hidden for fear, for judgment
(09:37):
or for expectation? What brings me joy that I rarely
let myself experience. Notice the answers that are rushing through
your head. Hopefully don't rush, don't dismiss what comes up.
(09:58):
This is yourself, This is who you are, reaching out
from behind that mask, waiting to be known again. Here's
a simple exercise you can do. Just sit quietly and breathe.
Breathing is everything. Imagine your mask as an object. It
could be a helmet, a mask, a curtain, a shield,
(10:21):
whatever comes to mind. It's not important. Visualize gently lifting
that mask, that helmet, that curtain, that shield, and seeing
yourself underneath. What do you notice? What feelings arise? And
(10:42):
as you do this think of you can write it down,
but think of what three things you see or feel
about the real you. These could be truths, emotions, desires,
or fears. Take your time. Please don't force this asn't
a race. I want you to really think about it.
The real self doesn't need judgment. The real you just
(11:06):
needs to be recognized, because to me, it's it's rediscovering
the real you becomes a journey, not a one time event.
Not like once the podcast is over, I'll go over
what he said and it's done. It should be over time,
you'll begin to notice what masks show up for different people,
(11:29):
like wait a minute, Jimmy was right, Huh, I guess
I do wear a mask when you're in love, where
fear insecurity keeps you from full vulnerability, in work, where
ambition or pressure hides your true real, true motivations, when
(11:52):
you're with family, where habits and rolls define who you
act like instead of who you are I mean. I will.
Of course, as we go on, I'm gonna explore some
examples to talk more about these specific different types of
masks and exercise that help you confront them directly. But
(12:18):
for now, it's all about focus, focusing on awareness, reflection,
and honesty. These are your first steps back to yourself.
Think about the weight that you you and I know
you do, I know you do, The weight that you
carry on your shoulders every single day, the roles you play,
(12:40):
the versions of yourself you perform. Hmmm. They may protect you,
but they also drain you. Masks require energy, They demand attention.
They share how you speak, how you move, and of course,
(13:05):
how you interact with others. Sometimes we don't even realize
the toll because it just feels normal, it feels like life.
But the truth is, the more time we spend behind
these masks, the less connected we are to our own
real feelings, our own instincts, our own desires. We forget
(13:29):
what it feels like to just be, to act freely,
to speak honestly, to exist without pretense, to just be
Think about that, to just be you right now? Think
about it. Do you have people in your life that
(13:50):
you act a certain way, and then when somebody shows
up to your home, you feel the need to not
talk about this topic. And then that person shows up
and you're like, yeah, okay, I can talk about that topic,
but I can't talk about that topic. I have to
constantly put up masks to be able to to have friends.
(14:18):
So are these friends Rediscovering the real you? Begins with
noticing this weight. Ask yourself, where do I feel tension
in my daily life that might come from wearing a mask,
which parts of me are performing instead of just being
(14:46):
How would my life feel if I could release some
of this weight? And here's the thing. We all go
through it. I've gone through it. The good thing is
as you get older, you tend to shed relationships that
honestly no longer serve you. And I'm not saying it
(15:07):
in a way like almost like I'm better than anybody else.
It's just that sometimes I actually I tend to be backwards.
I just think that I'm not good enough for certain people.
One of I I was married twice, and I really
feel that my second marriage I walked away because I
felt I wasn't bringing anything to the table for that person. Anymore.
(15:30):
I immediately just woke up one day and felt that
they were better off without me. And it's not like, uh, well,
what did you do or what didn't you know? I
didn't do anything. It's a chemistry thing, because when you're
with somebody and you truly care, you wish them the best,
and sometimes the best is a life without you. And
(15:50):
it's just I wished them well, and I one day
just got up and said, no, you will do so
much better without me. It's funny. In front of my eyes,
I'm just seeing the situations and many different masks that
(16:10):
we tend to wear to just as you know, to
just deal, to survive, to make it through the day.
It's sometimes people get it's just easier, it's easier, right,
But the thing is, you're not being you. You're not
being the true you. Masks aren't random. They're born from need,
(16:31):
from fear, from survival. Sometimes we hire to protect ourselves
from criticism, judgment, or rejection. Sometimes we hide to meet expectations,
especially from family, friends, colleagues, and society in general. But
(16:52):
honestly family. I've had quite a few clients that their
biggest enemy wasn't friends, it was family and here's the thing.
There's nothing wrong with wearing a mask for a while.
It keeps us safe, as I said before. But the
(17:14):
problem arises when the mask does become our default, when
it starts to define us more than our true self does.
The real you isn't behind the mask because it's a
weak or flawed version. It's there because it has been
(17:38):
waiting for you to remember that I'm back here and
then one day. Rediscovery is about tearing off that mask,
just ripping it off like a band aid. It's not
about judgment or shame to yourself at all. I'm not criticizing,
I'm not putting you down. I'm just trying to have
(17:58):
you be aware of something. Maybe there's many of you
that's like, no, I don't wear a mask. I've never
worn a mask. This has always been the true me,
one hundred percent. And you know what, God bless you.
I wish you power, I wish you a long life
of continuing to do this. But I know of many
people that have worn so many masks that during a
hypnosis session or pass that progression session, we even talk therapy,
(18:24):
they themselves crack their own shell and they're like, wait
a minute, certain things are said, certain certain feelings are shared,
and they're like, I no longer know who I am.
To me, that's a beautiful thing. It's not a bad thing.
But you begin noticing, you begin noticing the moments when
(18:45):
your mask just start to feel heavy and you get
tired of having to quickly change because Uncle so and
so or your friends showed up or your friend's friend
and you don't want to deal with it. And then,
of course, how about the those moments that you're wearing
a mask in front of somebody because you have to.
But then it slips even for a second, and you
(19:07):
give off a glimpse of who you really are. And
then my favorite comment in the world, who are you?
Who have you become? And it's like, the bottom line is,
this is who I've always been. That's why I always
tell people when they do all this online dating, be
the real you don't be don't find somebody on the
(19:29):
internet that you really really like and you realize that
they're into like parachuting. So because of that, you're like,
I'm gonna like exaggerate and mention that you know, I
did it back in high school. It's something I would
like to do and this and that, because the bottom
line is the truth will always come out, and the
last thing you want to do is to hide the
(19:50):
true you. And then later on they'll say, I never
knew you, I didn't know you. Why have you changed?
And the bottom line is, you've never changed. It's just
that you or changed to it being a fake person
behind a huge mask. And now h five days, five months,
five weeks, five years, all of a sudden you can't
(20:10):
hide it, and the true you comes out and now
you're being judged. You see, the journey back to yourself
is gradual. Every observation, every awareness, every reflection is a
step towards peeling back those layers like an onion. And
(20:31):
then of course, one day you begin to recognize the
person in America, not a performance, not a version shaped
for survival or approval, but you whole, real, alive. Sometimes
it takes trauma. I feel that something something that you know,
(20:55):
somebody passes in our life, or we almost we have
almost a death, a death moment, we almost die in
an act them or something happens. We wake up in
the hospital. We've survived, thank god. But then it's those
moments and you're like, have I been pissing my life away,
being somebody that I don't want to be doing a
job that I've never wanted to being in a relationship
(21:19):
that I just no longer like this person. The trick
gess masks are the ones that we've worn for so
long that we forget, We don't even realize that they're there.
We wake up one day and realize we don't fully
recognize ourselves. The person we see in the mirror isn't
quite aligned with the person that we are inside. That's
(21:41):
when you know the mask has gone way too far.
Because awareness, then is the first bridge, as I said,
to rediscovery. Because we live we live in a world
that constantly shapes who we are supposed to be. Our family,
(22:06):
or friends, or colleagues, or culture or society, they all
provide constant scripts to you, and we unconsciously sometimes follow.
Over time, those scripts become a part of our mask,
often so seamlessly that distinguishing them from our true self
becomes so difficult. This is me right. Ask yourself, which
(22:31):
decisions in your life are truly yours, Which habits, which
hobbies are actually yours that you started, you created, you've manifested,
and which have been shaped by expectation by others. How
(22:52):
much of your daily behavior is an act of conformity
rather than authenticity. When you look in the mirror, do
you see your own eyes or the reflection of what
others see you see? Understanding the difference between your inner
self and that persona you project is the key to
(23:16):
rediscovering the real you. It's the first step towards peeking back,
peeling back the layers that have accumulated over so many years,
especially when so much shit has happened in your life trauma.
You know, you've done some really stupid shit in your life,
You've made some mistakes, and by that time, it's like,
(23:39):
little do you know you have like nine layers of
just who you aren't because you're trying to finagle and
you know, rediscovering the real you isn't comfortable. It often
means confronting truths you've ignored, feelings you've suppress, and fears
(24:02):
that you've hidden behind. But authenticity requires courage because it
asks can I show the world who I really am?
Do you show the world who you really are? Are
you in alignment with your true self even even when
(24:26):
it feels risky or may expose your vulnerability, because God forbid,
you want people to see your weakness. You see when
all of a sudden and done. The reward, though, is immense.
It's a sense of freedom. It's a sense of peace
that you can just be you, silly, dumb, stupid, whatever
(24:48):
you're into. Who cares. It's a sense of wholeness that
cannot exist behind a mask. There's a found clarity that
comes with living closer to your authentic self. There's a
quiet strength that emerges when you stop performing, performing and
(25:12):
stop being and start being. Before you attempt to remove
the mask, begin by noticing it in daily life. Pay
attention to the moments that you feel drained, tense, or uneasy, uncomfortable.
(25:33):
These often reveal when the mask is active, the situations
where you alter your behavior to meet expectations rather than
expressing who you are. It's the times when you when
your own thoughts, your own emotions, your own desires are
dismissed or hidden because they feel inconvenient or unacceptable. Observation
(26:00):
is the foundation of just change. By simply noticing your masks,
you begin to reclaim awareness and control your own identity.
It's not easy. It takes time. Rediscovering the real you
is not a quick, single event. Think about the amount
(26:25):
of years it took you to this point that you've
worn so many masks. It's going to take some time
to get rid of them. Masks may even continue to
resurface in the future in moments of stress for your expectations,
trauma triggers. The goal isn't to be perfect, but to
maintain awareness and gently peel back the layers over time.
(26:50):
Every single observation, every reflection, every moment of honesty with
yourself is a victory. With each step, you move closer
to the person who has been waiting behind the mask,
the person who is whole, real and ready to live
(27:11):
an authentic life. And here's the thing. Masks rarely appear
without reason. Their responses protective measures shape by experiences, fear
and emotion. Understanding the emotional triggers behind your mask is
the key to reconnect reconnecting with your real self. But again,
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it's just like you know, sit there right now and
think about it. What emotions make you instinctively put on
a mask? Fear, shame, anger, insecurity, guilt. Are there moments
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when you speak, when you act, or you smile, but
you don't feel it you do it because you want
to avoid judgment, conflict, vulnerability. Again, these emotional triggers are
like signals. They tell you when your mask is active,
(28:21):
and they point directly to the parts of you that
have been hidden, ignored, or suppressed. Awareness of these triggers
is the first step towards understanding and releasing them. Most
of us have an ongoing internal dialogue thoughts and beliefs
(28:43):
that we barely notice, but that do shape our actions,
which only reinforces our masks. By this dialogue, do you
often tell yourself I can't show this, or I have
to be strong, or maybe I shouldn't feel this way.
(29:07):
Do you measure every action against the expectations of others
rather than your own desires? You convince yourself that hiding
parts of yourself is safer, smarter, and necessary. This inner
conversation is a hidden architect of your mask. But again,
(29:30):
by noticing it, questioning it, and gently, gently challenging it,
you do reclaim some authority over who you are and
how you present yourself to the world. Fear fear Fear
(29:52):
is often the root of the mask. Fear of rejection,
fear of judgment, fear of being misunderstood, fear of being questioned,
fear of being picked on, fear of failing. But notice
the moments when fear influences your behavior, What do you
do about it? Do you just feel fear and reacting
(30:13):
just that's it, and then you just continue on until
the next time you feel fear and then you react,
And then the next time you feel fear and then
you react. And do you stay silent when you want
to speak? Do you agree with others when you're you
secretly disappear? Disagree, I'm sorry, disappear the same thing. Do
(30:37):
you avoid expressing emotion or desire because you worry it
will be criticized? Because the mask is not the enemy,
fear is. Recognizing fear allows you to separate it from
your truth self. When you do that, the mask loses
(30:59):
its grip and you can start reclaiming authenticity. Masks are
especially present in relationships. As I said, with family, friends,
and partners, we often perform to meet expectations, avoid conflict,
(31:20):
or to preserve an image. Over time, we forget that
relationships are healthiest when they are based on truth authenticity.
Let your future partner know everything about you. Don't hid shit,
(31:41):
why it's going to come out. Think of your life
right now, the people in your life, which relationships bring
out the mask the most? Are there moments where I
(32:01):
act in a way I know it's truly me just
to keep the peace or approval. Where can I allow
myself to be more honest? Where do you feel that
you can actually just sit back, kick back, no mask
and just around this person or these certain people, you
can just breathe and just be you. Understanding where masks
(32:31):
exists in relationships helps you to see and not only
your own patterns, but also how you affect and are
affected by those people. You don't need to dismantle your
mask all at once, and just like I said, rip
them off. You don't begin with small observations questioning yourself,
(32:51):
why do I act this way with that person and
in that way with this person? Why do I need
to create this facade of who I am around certain people?
Speaker 5 (33:02):
Is it is it worth it? Is it worth it
to you? Think about it? Is it worth it to
not be able to just be you? And this is
(33:26):
when you start questioning, like, Wow, when I'm around this
person or that person, I just alter my behavior completely.
I don't talk about certain topics.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
I feel that I'm like, I can't be me, And
then you know, if you really notice your body, your tension,
your posture, your facial expressions, that might be that might
signal a mask at work. These small steps are powerful.
They don't demand immediate change. They simply create awareness, which
(33:58):
is the foundation of being authentic rediscovery. When you live
behind the mask for long periods, it doesn't just hide
who you are. It begins to reshape how you see yourself.
(34:20):
The masks become a filter, influencing your beliefs, your behaviors,
and even your desires. You may begin to confuse the
persona you present with your true self. At that point,
you ask yourself, what parts of me are real versus performed?
(34:40):
Are their thoughts, feelings, or desires I dismissed because they
don't fit the mask? Have I started to define myself
by what I show the world rather than by what
I truly feel inside. Repeated masking over and over can
(35:02):
subtly erode your self awareness. Over time, the mirror shows
a reflection that is partially true and partially fabricated, a
hybrid that can feel now unfamiliar. Rediscovery begins with recognizing
that distortion exists. It does and separating the masks from
(35:22):
your authentic self. Masks often operate below this surface of
awareness we forget. We may not even notice them in
action because they are just it's automatic. They become learned behaviors,
reinforced over years, sometimes decades. The conscious mind maintains these
(35:49):
patterns to keep us safe, to prevent discomfort, or to
help us meet expectations. Consider the subtle ways your mask
might show up. Automatic agreement with someone else's opinion, even
when you disagree. It's just easier. It's just easier to
just live behind a mask. Recognizing the subconscious nature of
(36:10):
the mask is crucial. It's not about blame. It's about observation.
It's about observing your own life. Remember this show is
not the reset them, it's reset yourself. Once you see
the mask in action, you can begin deciding when to
keep it on and when to set it aside, at
(36:30):
least temporarily, and when you need to reconnect with the
real you. Living behind a mask isn't neutral. It does
come with a cost, often invisible until you pause, stop reflect,
Suppressed feelings accumulate, creating tension, stress, or even anxiety and depression.
(36:54):
This is what I mean when people get married and
one of them usually to them somewhat. But you know,
people change a little bit, you ever. Like, Like a
good example is like, there's a friend that I know
that like, I just think it's interesting that they are
dating something. They've been dating somebody for years now, but
they I know, they were never into sports, and now
all of a sudden, because that person is into sports,
(37:17):
they are all about it, which is fine, But at
what point, I mean, because there's nothing wrong with you
all of a sudden liking sports? Why not I was
introduced to now? So you're like, wow, I didn't know
this really existed. I enjoy it, but how many people
get lost in it to the point that they're no
longer there? But then this is what happens. One day
they wake up and they're like, I don't want to
(37:38):
watch this game again. I don't want to go get
tickets to go see it. I just I'd rather do
something else. And then that person is like, oh my god,
who are you? Who have you become? The problem is
they've become themselves. It just takes time. Like I said, that,
(37:59):
longer I'm stays on, the more it can shape your habits,
your thoughts, your self perception. Recognition is the first step,
and then, of course there's self deception. Sometimes we begin
to believe the persona that we now present. Yes, I
was never into fishing, but I'm dating somebody who's into fishing,
(38:21):
so I'm into fishing too. And in the beginning, it's exciting.
It's something new, it's a new hobby, it's a new sport.
Why not? And then all of a sudden you're like, oh,
I want to get back into what I did. I
was a cyclist, let's just say. And that person's like,
I don't ride bicycles. That's stupid. So now that's where
the mask starts to peel off a little. They're like,
(38:46):
I didn't bother because I knew you didn't. Now I
want to go back to it because that's who I am.
And that person's like, no, aren't you a fisherman like me?
And it's like, well, I mean, I don't mind doing
what you do, but it's not really who I am.
So now it's like I can't believe you. Who have
you become? Which aspects of you have you rationalize as
(39:12):
normal but are really parts of a mask? Are there
repeated patterns in your life choices, behaviors, reactions that reflect
my mask more than my true self. Who is your
true self? Are you who you were when this first began?
(39:36):
I mean self deception doesn't mean dishonesty, It just means
unconscious adaption. Awareness is the antidote to it. Reflection is
the bridge from mask to authenticity. To see the real you,
you must pause, observe and examine the layers that you've
(39:56):
the many masks that you've accumulated over time. Quiet observation
of your thoughts and emotions, meditation, journaling about daily interactions,
noting when you perform versus when you are truly yourself.
We all know, we all have certain friends that we've
(40:17):
commented that when you're with this person, you feel that,
as they say, you can let your hair down, you
can say whatever you want, you can swear, you can yell,
you can do whatever you want and you don't feel what.
You can talk about religion, you can talk about politics,
and you just know that you will not be judged,
you will not be criticized, you will not be put down.
And then assuring people that you have to put up walls.
(40:39):
You can't say this, can't say that. But like I said,
rediscovering the real you is not an instant thing. It's
gradual for many of you. For many of my clients,
it was at the moment of hypnosis that something was
tapped into I may I just pretty much quiet your
(41:05):
chattering monkey. For those of you that are like, wait, what, yes,
hypnosis is you have your conscious mind, your subconscious mind,
and I just like to place it there, but it's
not really. But your conscious mind is what you're listening
to me right now with. It is the chattering monkey.
It is that voice throughout the day. I need to
do this. I don't need to do that. I believe
(41:25):
in this. I don't believe in that. I'm gonna do here,
I'm gonna go there. I have to make dinner by five,
I have to clean the house, I have to do Okay.
Then you have your subconscious mind. That's your your it's
your old school hard drive. That's where all the commands
and beliefs are there that were created for years. A
(41:46):
lot of times the outsiders will change that and make
us believe that we're not worthy, that we're dumb, that
you know, we're this, we're that, And through life things
will happen that awareness, we question ourselves like, wait a minute,
(42:08):
I really don't like sports. Wait a minute, I'm not
a moviegoer. Wait a minute, I really don't like the
things you do. But you have to observe with some
sense of judgment. It'll be a jerk, especially to yourself.
Notice without forcing change, allowing insights to just emerge naturally. Slowly,
(42:32):
over time, you begin to distinguish between the masks and
your core self. You'll notice thoughts, feelings, and impulses that
are authentically yours, and slowly that mirror will reflect the
real you again. It's almost like when you come out
of the shower and the mirror is like fogged up
(42:54):
and you start wiping it. You start seeing yourself. That's
the real you, a reflection that is familiar yet profoundly renewed.
Masks are not just personal, they are social. From the
moment we enter the world, we are influenced by others.
Think about it, the moment you're born. Your religion has
(43:15):
chosen for you, your race has chosen for you. What
kind of foods you're going to be eating growing up?
Is it going to be Polish food? Is it going
to be Spanish food? Is it going to be Chinese? Food,
because those are the families that you're into well a
part of. From the moment we enter the world, we
are influenced by so many people new culture. These influences
(43:38):
shape who we think we should be, what we should feel,
and how we should act. Consider the subtle ways culture
enforces masks. Expectations about success, appearance, behavior, norms about how men, women,
(43:58):
and other roles should act, social pressure to now conform,
to avoid conflict, or to maintain image. Because over time,
over time, these external pressures now become internalized. The mask
that began as a protective tool evolves into a default identity,
(44:20):
blending personal fear and society social expectations. Read discovery requires
noticing not only your internal patterns, but also external influences
that shaped them. The ego, the ego, Yeah, that ego,
(44:40):
not the bald ego, your ego. The ego is intimately
tied to that mask. Ego seeks validation. Ego seeks control,
It seeks protection. It thrives on performance, comparison and approval
from society. Often our masks are the ego's tools, a
(45:02):
way to maintain safety, status or identify in the eyes
of the world. Because that is so important for someone.
So again, ask yourself, how much of my mask is
maintained to protect my ego? Where am I performing to
feel superior, accepted, and safe? Which actions are driven by
(45:23):
fear or loss or judgment rather than just genuine desire.
Understanding the relationships between ego and masks allow you to
approach rediscovery with clarity. The ego is not the enemy. Actually,
the ego is not a bad thing, but awareness of
(45:47):
its influence helps you to separate authentic self expression from
this performance because I must and I have to fit
in living behind a mask for long periods of time, Carrie,
such long term consequences. I've actually had some clients that
were in their seventies that came in for something simple
(46:13):
and before you know it, here we are, you know,
three hours later, and the person is like, who am I?
I don't know why I'm doing the things I'm doing? Because,
you know, for hypnosis, I don't just like, all right,
close your eyes and let's let me read you something,
(46:34):
and no, I try to like really go in deep
to like what's really going on, why it's going on?
Even something as simple as smoking, all right to me?
Focusing on stopping smoking or overeating is tapping into the original, Like,
let's go back back into time. Why you felt the
need to over why you felt the need to smoke,
(46:55):
why you felt the need to create certain habits. That's
not a bad thing, But to try to solve the
problem twenty years later, it's not the way I work.
I go back to the first day, the first cigarette,
that first cupcake, because repeated masking can't obscure your desires,
(47:24):
your ambitions, and your direction in life. And like I said,
thirty forty fifty sixty years later, you wake up one
day and you're like, when, how did I go off
that path? The more you act inauthentically, the more your
(47:46):
self trust, even in yourself, just diminishes. You can't trust
yourself if you don't know yourself. Authenticity is a quiet revolution.
Stripping away the doesn't guarantee an easier life, especially at seventy,
but it's sometimes it challenges relationships. Habits are or long
(48:06):
held beliefs are there? Are they your beliefs? But it
offers rewards of greater, far greater than comfort. You got freedom,
the relief of being known, even just by yourself. Then
your clear clarity, a sharper understanding of your own desires,
(48:31):
your boundaries and purpose. Then you feel that you have
this wonderful connection, a deeper, more meaningful relationship with others,
because you are the one who's showing up fully. Now you,
the rue you is on stage and trust me, the audience,
the people of your past who may have only known
the mask, are like, who the hell is that guy?
(48:54):
This is me, this has always been me. I apologize
to all of you for having warned this mask for
too long and not allowing the real me to stand out.
For rediscovery is not about protection. It's not about alignment
your internal world, meeting your external expression. Peeling back the
(49:19):
mask is like I said, it's not It's not a
one time thing. It's a slow process, especially as people
people like going, wait, where the hell did you come from?
It's like, I think it works better if you do
it slowly. Moments of insight may be followed by lapses
in old patterns, because they will come out. That's normal.
(49:42):
Awareness is a practice, patience is a necessity, and self
compassion really is essential. Rediscovering is a lifelong journey, my friends.
Each moment of honesty, each always to act in alignment
with your true self. Re enforces authenticity. Over time, those
(50:10):
layers they get thin. The mask becomes optional at at
certain points. I mean it already has been with certain people,
and the reflection you see in the mirror grows true
or clearer and more alive because the mask we wear
shape not only how others do see us, but also
how we see ourselves. It's funny. Imagine a mask that's
(50:33):
actually a mirror on the back, and every time you
put it on, you do see your true self, but
you choose to hide your true self. You may notice
self doubt, mass is confident or insecurity hidden behind humor.
(50:55):
You may dismiss your own instincts, thinking you're not appropriate
really acceptable. Because the masks now dictates what's safe, you
may judge yourself by the standards of the masks rather
than by your authentic values. Masks influence the choices we
(51:17):
make every single day. Ask yourself, are my choices based
on genuine desire or on what my masks tells me
is expected from others? I mean, so many have grown
up in relationship with like strong fathers or even mothers
(51:42):
that expected so much of you, and to survive that
time period, you became this person, which is fine, And
now fast forward. Now you're an adult, and in many
cases your parents have been dead for like twenty thirty
forty years, and you still are wearing a mask for
no reason. You're still holding on to fears and situations
(52:06):
that you really don't have to anymore. You're grown up now,
you can do your own thing, be your own person.
Are these mass reoccurring patterns in your decisions that reflect
safety over authenticity? By noticing these influences, you start to
regain control over like you're an adult. Now you're a
big boy, you're a big girl. You don't have to
(52:28):
you can take the mask, you could throw it out.
You can finally be you. But who are you? Do
you remember? Because the goal isn't to eliminate caution, but
to distinguish between fear driven choices and choices that align
with your real self. So that I can't help. But
(52:55):
many times when I'm sitting here doing these shows, like
I can't, I see different situations friends, friends, clients that
have masked their personal growth. They're constantly performing or hiding.
They avoid experiences that challenge their beliefs, push their own
their own boundaries, and limit their perspective in life. Of
(53:21):
how they view things. It's kind of sad. Growth over
often requires vulnerability, which for so many it's tough to
be vulnerable to let others see how vulnerable you can be.
God forbid, they fear exposure or discomfort. Growth requires honesty.
(53:43):
That is a word that I bring up at the
end of almost every podcast when I'm doing exercises. Be
honest with yourself. Masks will distort self awareness, prevent reflection
on true desires or needs, and growth does demand authenticity.
Mass create a false sense of security that make you
(54:03):
keep from pursuing meaningful change. Living behind a mass restricts
emotional freedom, suppressing feelings, hiding desires, and conforming to expectations
which create tension and internal They make you sick, manifest stress, irritability,
(54:29):
a sense of emptiness. Are your friendships and partnerships based
on the real you or on a persona designed to
be acceptable? Think about that. Are your friendships right now
(54:51):
and partnerships based on the real you? Or is just
something you designed? Do you feel seen? Do you feel understood?
Do you feel heard? Do you feel appreciated for who
you really are? For the version you are presently? Think
(55:23):
about it. A child praised for being good when quiet
may grow a mask of compliance. A teenager criticized for
expressing emotion may adopt a mask of stoicism. Adults may
develop masks to fit professional expectations, social norms, or cultural standards.
(55:52):
Each layer is a response, a survival mechanism. By the
time we reach adulthood, these masks are often deeply ingrained,
shaping not only behavior but self perception and of course,
over the years, mask influence decisions in ways that are
(56:13):
both subtle and profound. What begins as a small protective
adaptation can now accumulate, guiding career paths, relationships, and especially
personal beliefs. Career choices may prioritize safety or image over passion.
Relationships may reflect compliance or approval rather than genius desire.
(56:41):
Daily behaviors may be filtered to maintain acceptance or avoid conflict.
Unmasking its financial just pictured kiss the band. Unmasking can
feel uncomfortable, even frightening. That's why self compassion is essential.
(57:06):
Masks often protect vulnerable parts of ourselves, and confronting them
may now after wearing a mask for forty fifty years,
trigger shame or resistance. But here's the thing. Approach the process. Generally,
avoid judgment, Recognize that fear and discomfort our natural responses.
Celebrate small victories, moments of honesty, and step towards authenticity.
(57:27):
If anything, if you have any bed in your life
right now that you feel that you can just be
the true you all the time, and maybe they've never
seen a mask, sit with them and tell them what's
going on. How do I go back? How do I
change and become the person I am? With you? With everyone?
(57:51):
The thought process is gradual, the rewards are profound. Think
about that. Self trust erodes when masks dominate. Each time
you hide your truth, you suppress emotion or conform to expectation,
(58:13):
A subtle message is sent yourself, my real self isn't safe.
Over time, that can diminish confidence in your in instincts, decisions,
and judgment. But to rebuild self trust, observe the mask
(58:33):
and acknowledge its purpose without blame. Make small, intentional choices
aligned with your authentic self. That's why I say pick.
If you have somebody in your life that you know
you don't have to wear a mask around, talk to
them about it. Reflect that moments when where authenticity yielded
positive results even the smallest of ones. Gradually, as you
(58:57):
do this, you continue to do this. Self trust grows,
reinforcing the ability to act authentic, authentic, authentically without fear,
and weakening the need for protective performance. Masks such a
(59:22):
such an interesting concept because we do so many of
us do wear them. Authenticity is deeply connected to emotional alignment,
the harmony between what you feel and how you express
yourself mass distort the alignment. You may smile when you
(59:44):
feel sadness, laugh when you feel anger, or agree when
you don't want to. Over time, these discrepancies create tension,
self doubt, and disconnection from your core emotions. Again, revisit
right now. Is there anybody in your life now? When
you're with them, it's very different. You feel that you
(01:00:08):
can just breathe, you can say whatever you want feel
however you so choose. It's a good feeling. You just
be you, and they know you. They're really you, even
(01:00:30):
the bad youth, the stupid you, the dummy you, the
you with some bad habits, because none of us are perfect.
But think of those relationships and how important they are.
Those are the relationships that you should make, grow and
(01:00:51):
get more relationships like that. You know what it is
to a lot of times we create. We're the ones
when we start a new relationship with somebody, they will
only know what we feed them. Think about it. I
can walk into like right now, I'm in Kentucky. I
could walk into the local supermarket, meet new neighbors and
just say hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, and I'm
(01:01:12):
from this city called Gotham. And you know I do
some some social work with people. I help people. What
are they gonna know about me? Exactly what I told him?
Sounds crazy, but it's true. So there was a guy.
(01:01:33):
There was one of the as for those of you
that I watch a lot of criminal shows and stuff like that,
I think it's fast. I love law. And there was
a gentleman which I could not stop watching the screen.
It was this one guy. Interesting, I'm going to be wrong.
It's a lot worse than you think. It's a guy
who dated a woman. And he said that he was
(01:01:53):
like a general and he had the suits, the pins,
the badges, the bars, he had everything. And then once
he got to know her and obviously slept with her,
but started taking stuff from her. He took a lot
from her. He just bounced then he did it again,
then he did it again, then he did it again,
(01:02:16):
then he did it again, and almost every time it
was different out for its different uniforms, different jobs, different careers.
And then sooner or later, certain people started like hey,
wait a minute, and connecting, especially now with social media,
but they started connecting and going wait a minute. You know,
I was with a mister so and so. Here's a picture,
(01:02:37):
and to that lady, she's like, that's not mister so
and so, the general. That's doctor so and so. And
then the third person was like, no, he is a
social worker in Chicago. And the other person's like, no,
he is a surfer in California. I mean in this one,
and it was just like, wow, how can you go
(01:02:57):
through life with so many masks? Obviously it's a lot
more simple. He was just a dirt back criminal. But
you know, I couldn't help but watch that episode think
to myself, in his mind, is there a point where
you actually believe wholeheartedly that you are these people, that
(01:03:19):
you are these costume jobs, these generals, this surgeon, this,
this surfer, this it's excuse my friends, it's a mind fuck.
And again, it's a lot more complex than like what
I'm talking about with you know, just talking about us
and our hiding our feelings, our emotions. But Jesus, like
(01:03:41):
are you serious? Like how does he sleep at night?
And who is he? Like he changed everything, his entire look,
his entire person everything. Magine imagine doing that. Think about that.
Imagine doing that right now where you are, you're living
(01:04:02):
your life. Imagine that everything that's happening right now in
your life is happening. Okay, picture it. It's easy because
it's happening. And then all of a sudden, the beginning
of next month, the first it's almost here. You are
just picked up and put in a completely other state,
six states over, and it's it's almost like, you know,
(01:04:25):
like crime prevention. Like now, all of a sudden, your
your new job is. You are a plumber, and you
have a wife and three kids and this and just
fast forward. You already have the three kids, you already have, this,
you have you know, you have a collection of sports cars.
You're into the Cincinnati Reds and and you went to
school and this is what you do. And then the
(01:04:46):
following month, you're in Quebec, Canada and you are a
ship captain. And again this is a lot more involved
than the basic concept of this series show this show,
but it's the same concept. At what point do you
strip back and go stop? My name is Jimmy Gonzalez.
(01:05:11):
I was born in Bridgeport, Connecticut to such and such parents.
I grew up on such and such street. When I
was young, my goals were, I wanted to do this
my dream when I was a kid, I wanted to
be a clown in hospitals for kids. Thank you, there's
(01:05:31):
a sign you are a clown, but it's the truth. Basically,
when I was young, I swallowed a pencil long story short,
and I ended up back. Then. I was in the
hospital for a month, right around Christmas time, and it
was very infected. I was very sick. It was long
story short. But during that time I got to see
(01:05:51):
how a lot I was in the children's ward and
see how sad these kids were, and how a lot
of their parents Not all were pieces of crap, but
a lot of them were busy, and these kids were
almost like forgotten during their time being there. I mean,
this is a hospital. It's not even like a home marine.
This is a hospital. And I remember thinking to myself,
(01:06:11):
like how horrible this is. And I used to go
to the toy library and get certain toys and bring
them to the different rooms because all of these kids
can leave their beds. My issue was in my throat,
so I could walk all over the hospital, and I
used to feel so bad for them. Now I've worn
(01:06:35):
many masks, many jobs, many hats throughout my life, and
I still am very passionate of soon I'll be wearing
a new one. Remember that, Remember that. But it's just interesting,
because there's nothing wrong with changing. It's just when you
get lost in it too much and you start criticizing
the person you were. I mean, I was a DJ,
I was an animal control officer. I've had many fascinating,
(01:06:57):
wonderful jobs that I've loved, each and every one them.
Just because I don't do it anymore means I've written
them off. The relationships that I've been in, even because
they didn't work out, means that they were a waste
of my time. What you've done so far is not
a waste of your time, good, bad, ugly. But I
just want you to start to think now to who
(01:07:21):
you are right now, and are you happy with who
you've become? And know that you have complete and total
control of it, and that you can change it right now.
Yes you can. So. I hope I made you think
about the concept of your mask, and the next time,
(01:07:43):
hopefully today, at some point when you walk by a mirror,
you actually look into the mirror, look at the color
of your eyes, look at your cheekbones, look at your wrinkles,
and say to yourself, do I love me? Do I
respect to me? For all that ship you've done in
(01:08:04):
your life? Do you forgive you? Because you should let
it go? Life is too short. Let it let it go. Please,
It's not worth it. Live a life of happiness, of compassion,
of gratitude and acknowledge everything that you have and all
(01:08:29):
that as I said, all that bad shit you've done,
the stupid ship, it is what it is. Move on,
let go be happy. Thank you for letting me self.
Speaker 1 (01:09:06):
Was brought to me by Alma and gnosis and healing
and the mind Sie meditation dedicated to all of us
every day in all these to make the difference in
our lives and our lives to others. If you are
interested in learning more about the services than Ammy offers,
visit www dot n O E M A h h
(01:09:27):
dot com. Jimmy offers a downloadable ebook and a link
to his Mind's Eye meditation sessions, which are both offered
for free. Please consider it a gift. And for those
that like the do it yourself approach, Jimmy also offers
pre recorded self hypnosis sessions. If you prefer the one
on one approach, feel free to reach out. You have
been listening to the Reset Yourself twenty two podcast eight
Please note this show contains adult language and themes and
is intended from mature audiences only.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Listener discretion is advised.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Jury Beloved, we are gathered here today to get through
this thing called life.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
You are listening to the Reset yourself with your host.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you me how
you guys doing today? Today has been a very good
day for me, and I hope it's a very good
(01:18):
day for you. I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving. I'm looking
forward to a few days with family, and then of
course beginning of the Christmas season this Saturday, hopefully going
to the Bardstown Christmas Day, which Bartstown is considered It's
a near town and it's considered one of the most beautiful
towns in the country when it comes to Christmas, or
(01:40):
looking forward to that. So getting into the Christmas energy.
So how are you all truly doing? Huh? My name is,
as she said, Jimmy Gonzalez. And in this weekly podcast,
I focus on sparking your inner confidence, igniting make sure
(02:02):
the volumes are good, igniting your belief in yourself. I'm
your host and I'm always very extremely thrilled to share
my thoughts and research with each and every one of
you as we go along on this journey together. I
believe strongly, okay it's two hundred and three episodes with
this one that you can nurture a mindset that empowers
(02:25):
you to reach your fullest potential. Not as I said,
can not, can't you can? I write a record every
episode to challenge your thinking. My thinking is thinking, and
to encourage you to reflect, to truly think about these
podcasts and inspire actionable, realistic steps towards personal growth, whether
(02:49):
you're facing a career transition, seeking to overcome challenges, or
simply striving for greater fulfillment in your life. For many,
for hundreds around the globe, this podcast has been their
go to resource for motivation and bract to insights. Thank you,
thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm very humbled. My
(03:09):
inspiration to do this show is to teach people to
focus more on what they can accomplish again, can so
they do the things they need to do when they
need to do them, so that ultimately they get the
things they want when they want to have them. This
episode is dedicated to all of you.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Tell me what you want and I will show you
how to get it. The question is that you're willing
to work for it. Well, good morning, good evening, good afternoon.
Wherever you're tuning in from, there's a lot of places
and many platforms, and I'm always excited to see the
(03:51):
lists grow and the many comments and likes and shares.
But today's topic, it's a very interesting one.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Today's topic should have done this around Halloween. But it's
about the mask that you're currently wearing. I'm not wearing
a mask. We all do, and discovering the real You
take a deep breath right now, right now, even if
you're driving. You don't have to close your eyes. Just
(04:22):
take a deep breath and just hold it for one second,
let it go. I asked that you imagine the person
you see when you look in the mirror this morning,
this afternoon, whenever, whenever you're next, look into the mirror
(04:43):
quickly before you, like just as you're brushing your teeth,
you glance up or brushing your hair, and you glance
up coming out of the shower and look at the mirror.
Walk But now I'm talking about like, really stop for
a second, Really stop for a second. Who is staring
back at you at this point, at your age? Is
(05:03):
it you? Is it really you? Is it the person
that started all of this? Or is it a version
that you've created over the years to cope, to survive,
to deal. Has have you become a version that the
world expects of you? A version you think you should
(05:25):
be just easier to deal with, A version design as
I said, to just survive. Most of us do live
behind masks. We start young learning how to protect ourselves.
Maybe it was fear, anxiety, or peer pressure that taught
(05:46):
us to hide. Maybe it was stress, expectation, or the
constant worry of judgment. You see masks. Masks are useful,
they help us survive, they protect us, but over time
they can also hide the real you from the real
world and sometimes from yourself. Think about it. Masks aren't
(06:15):
always obvious. They don't always come with labels. Sometimes they
are habits, routines, or personas that we tend to slip
into without realizing it. Some masks are small, temporary, a
smile when you feel nothing, a joke when you feel pain.
Some are bigger, pretending to be confident and successful or happy,
(06:39):
even when inside you're just dying and you're no longer
sure who you are anymore. The mask has become a
permanent part of your face, of your persona. The problem
isn't the mask itself. The problem is living in it
so long they forget what's underneath. I as I said,
(07:01):
who started this? You forget who you really were. You
look in the mirror and see the reflection of your mask,
not your truth. So the first step is awareness, noticing
that you're protecting yourself from with a mask. It's actually sad.
(07:25):
Observe where it appears in your life. Different masks, different
time periods, different masks you wear for different people, And
you ask yourself, when do I act differently than I feel?
When do I hide my thoughts or opinions around whom?
(07:45):
When do I perform instead of being present and be honest?
Ask yourself, do you feel the need to put on
different masks for different people in your life, for different relationships?
Or are you blessed and lucky to be able to
just be you all the time, doesn't matter who you're around,
(08:08):
no judgment, no awareness. I mean, just awareness, because awareness
is the first crack in the mask, and you realize,
wait a minute, every time, this is the type of
person I am with certain people. And then when this
person comes into my life, I have to put on
a mask and I can't talk about this or that,
(08:29):
or I can't bring this topic up or that topic
up because they may judge me, put me down, criticize me,
pick on me. Is it worth wearing a mask for anyone?
Because once you notice your masks and this next step
is rediscovery. Behind the mask is a person who has
(08:49):
been there all along, sometimes scared, sometimes quiet, sometimes brilliant,
sometimes flawed. You is neither perfect nor broken. The real
you just is. To rediscovery that self, you need to
reconnect with your feelings, your instincts, your truths, and ask
(09:13):
yourself questions like who am I when no one is watching?
What do I feel? But tend to not express? Which
parts of me have I hidden for fear, for judgment
(09:37):
or for expectation? What brings me joy that I rarely
let myself experience. Notice the answers that are rushing through
your head. Hopefully don't rush, don't dismiss what comes up.
(09:58):
This is yourself, This is who you are, reaching out
from behind that mask, waiting to be known again. Here's
a simple exercise you can do. Just sit quietly and breathe.
Breathing is everything. Imagine your mask as an object. It
could be a helmet, a mask, a curtain, a shield,
(10:21):
whatever comes to mind. It's not important. Visualize gently lifting
that mask, that helmet, that curtain, that shield, and seeing
yourself underneath. What do you notice? What feelings arise? And
(10:42):
as you do this think of you can write it down,
but think of what three things you see or feel
about the real you. These could be truths, emotions, desires,
or fears. Take your time. Please don't force this asn't
a race. I want you to really think about it.
The real self doesn't need judgment. The real you just
(11:06):
needs to be recognized, because to me, it's it's rediscovering
the real you becomes a journey, not a one time event.
Not like once the podcast is over, I'll go over
what he said and it's done. It should be over time,
you'll begin to notice what masks show up for different people,
(11:29):
like wait a minute, Jimmy was right, Huh, I guess
I do wear a mask when you're in love, where
fear insecurity keeps you from full vulnerability, in work, where
ambition or pressure hides your true real, true motivations, when
(11:52):
you're with family, where habits and rolls define who you
act like instead of who you are I mean. I will.
Of course, as we go on, I'm gonna explore some
examples to talk more about these specific different types of
masks and exercise that help you confront them directly. But
(12:18):
for now, it's all about focus, focusing on awareness, reflection,
and honesty. These are your first steps back to yourself.
Think about the weight that you you and I know
you do, I know you do, The weight that you
carry on your shoulders every single day, the roles you play,
(12:40):
the versions of yourself you perform. Hmmm. They may protect you,
but they also drain you. Masks require energy, They demand attention.
They share how you speak, how you move, and of course,
(13:05):
how you interact with others. Sometimes we don't even realize
the toll because it just feels normal, it feels like life.
But the truth is, the more time we spend behind
these masks, the less connected we are to our own
real feelings, our own instincts, our own desires. We forget
(13:29):
what it feels like to just be, to act freely,
to speak honestly, to exist without pretense, to just be
Think about that, to just be you right now? Think
about it. Do you have people in your life that
(13:50):
you act a certain way, and then when somebody shows
up to your home, you feel the need to not
talk about this topic. And then that person shows up
and you're like, yeah, okay, I can talk about that topic,
but I can't talk about that topic. I have to
constantly put up masks to be able to to have friends.
(14:18):
So are these friends Rediscovering the real you? Begins with
noticing this weight. Ask yourself, where do I feel tension
in my daily life that might come from wearing a mask,
which parts of me are performing instead of just being
(14:46):
How would my life feel if I could release some
of this weight? And here's the thing. We all go
through it. I've gone through it. The good thing is
as you get older, you tend to shed relationships that
honestly no longer serve you. And I'm not saying it
(15:07):
in a way like almost like I'm better than anybody else.
It's just that sometimes I actually I tend to be backwards.
I just think that I'm not good enough for certain people.
One of I I was married twice, and I really
feel that my second marriage I walked away because I
felt I wasn't bringing anything to the table for that person. Anymore.
(15:30):
I immediately just woke up one day and felt that
they were better off without me. And it's not like, uh, well,
what did you do or what didn't you know? I
didn't do anything. It's a chemistry thing, because when you're
with somebody and you truly care, you wish them the best,
and sometimes the best is a life without you. And
(15:50):
it's just I wished them well, and I one day
just got up and said, no, you will do so
much better without me. It's funny. In front of my eyes,
I'm just seeing the situations and many different masks that
(16:10):
we tend to wear to just as you know, to
just deal, to survive, to make it through the day.
It's sometimes people get it's just easier, it's easier, right,
But the thing is, you're not being you. You're not
being the true you. Masks aren't random. They're born from need,
(16:31):
from fear, from survival. Sometimes we hire to protect ourselves
from criticism, judgment, or rejection. Sometimes we hide to meet expectations,
especially from family, friends, colleagues, and society in general. But
(16:52):
honestly family. I've had quite a few clients that their
biggest enemy wasn't friends, it was family and here's the thing.
There's nothing wrong with wearing a mask for a while.
It keeps us safe, as I said before. But the
(17:14):
problem arises when the mask does become our default, when
it starts to define us more than our true self does.
The real you isn't behind the mask because it's a
weak or flawed version. It's there because it has been
(17:38):
waiting for you to remember that I'm back here and
then one day. Rediscovery is about tearing off that mask,
just ripping it off like a band aid. It's not
about judgment or shame to yourself at all. I'm not criticizing,
I'm not putting you down. I'm just trying to have
(17:58):
you be aware of something. Maybe there's many of you
that's like, no, I don't wear a mask. I've never
worn a mask. This has always been the true me,
one hundred percent. And you know what, God bless you.
I wish you power, I wish you a long life
of continuing to do this. But I know of many
people that have worn so many masks that during a
hypnosis session or pass that progression session, we even talk therapy,
(18:24):
they themselves crack their own shell and they're like, wait
a minute, certain things are said, certain certain feelings are shared,
and they're like, I no longer know who I am.
To me, that's a beautiful thing. It's not a bad thing.
But you begin noticing, you begin noticing the moments when
(18:45):
your mask just start to feel heavy and you get
tired of having to quickly change because Uncle so and
so or your friends showed up or your friend's friend
and you don't want to deal with it. And then,
of course, how about the those moments that you're wearing
a mask in front of somebody because you have to.
But then it slips even for a second, and you
(19:07):
give off a glimpse of who you really are. And
then my favorite comment in the world, who are you?
Who have you become? And it's like, the bottom line is,
this is who I've always been. That's why I always
tell people when they do all this online dating, be
the real you don't be don't find somebody on the
(19:29):
internet that you really really like and you realize that
they're into like parachuting. So because of that, you're like,
I'm gonna like exaggerate and mention that you know, I
did it back in high school. It's something I would
like to do and this and that, because the bottom
line is the truth will always come out, and the
last thing you want to do is to hide the
(19:50):
true you. And then later on they'll say, I never
knew you, I didn't know you. Why have you changed?
And the bottom line is, you've never changed. It's just
that you or changed to it being a fake person
behind a huge mask. And now h five days, five months,
five weeks, five years, all of a sudden you can't
(20:10):
hide it, and the true you comes out and now
you're being judged. You see, the journey back to yourself
is gradual. Every observation, every awareness, every reflection is a
step towards peeling back those layers like an onion. And
(20:31):
then of course, one day you begin to recognize the
person in America, not a performance, not a version shaped
for survival or approval, but you whole, real, alive. Sometimes
it takes trauma. I feel that something something that you know,
(20:55):
somebody passes in our life, or we almost we have
almost a death, a death moment, we almost die in
an act them or something happens. We wake up in
the hospital. We've survived, thank god. But then it's those
moments and you're like, have I been pissing my life away,
being somebody that I don't want to be doing a
job that I've never wanted to being in a relationship
(21:19):
that I just no longer like this person. The trick
gess masks are the ones that we've worn for so
long that we forget, We don't even realize that they're there.
We wake up one day and realize we don't fully
recognize ourselves. The person we see in the mirror isn't
quite aligned with the person that we are inside. That's
(21:41):
when you know the mask has gone way too far.
Because awareness, then is the first bridge, as I said,
to rediscovery. Because we live we live in a world
that constantly shapes who we are supposed to be. Our family,
(22:06):
or friends, or colleagues, or culture or society, they all
provide constant scripts to you, and we unconsciously sometimes follow.
Over time, those scripts become a part of our mask,
often so seamlessly that distinguishing them from our true self
becomes so difficult. This is me right. Ask yourself, which
(22:31):
decisions in your life are truly yours, Which habits, which
hobbies are actually yours that you started, you created, you've manifested,
and which have been shaped by expectation by others. How
(22:52):
much of your daily behavior is an act of conformity
rather than authenticity. When you look in the mirror, do
you see your own eyes or the reflection of what
others see you see? Understanding the difference between your inner
self and that persona you project is the key to
(23:16):
rediscovering the real you. It's the first step towards peeking back,
peeling back the layers that have accumulated over so many years,
especially when so much shit has happened in your life trauma.
You know, you've done some really stupid shit in your life,
You've made some mistakes, and by that time, it's like,
(23:39):
little do you know you have like nine layers of
just who you aren't because you're trying to finagle and
you know, rediscovering the real you isn't comfortable. It often
means confronting truths you've ignored, feelings you've suppress, and fears
(24:02):
that you've hidden behind. But authenticity requires courage because it
asks can I show the world who I really am?
Do you show the world who you really are? Are
you in alignment with your true self even even when
(24:26):
it feels risky or may expose your vulnerability, because God forbid,
you want people to see your weakness. You see when
all of a sudden and done. The reward, though, is immense.
It's a sense of freedom. It's a sense of peace
that you can just be you, silly, dumb, stupid, whatever
(24:48):
you're into. Who cares. It's a sense of wholeness that
cannot exist behind a mask. There's a found clarity that
comes with living closer to your authentic self. There's a
quiet strength that emerges when you stop performing, performing and
(25:12):
stop being and start being. Before you attempt to remove
the mask, begin by noticing it in daily life. Pay
attention to the moments that you feel drained, tense, or uneasy, uncomfortable.
(25:33):
These often reveal when the mask is active, the situations
where you alter your behavior to meet expectations rather than
expressing who you are. It's the times when you when
your own thoughts, your own emotions, your own desires are
dismissed or hidden because they feel inconvenient or unacceptable. Observation
(26:00):
is the foundation of just change. By simply noticing your masks,
you begin to reclaim awareness and control your own identity.
It's not easy. It takes time. Rediscovering the real you
is not a quick, single event. Think about the amount
(26:25):
of years it took you to this point that you've
worn so many masks. It's going to take some time
to get rid of them. Masks may even continue to
resurface in the future in moments of stress for your expectations,
trauma triggers. The goal isn't to be perfect, but to
maintain awareness and gently peel back the layers over time.
(26:50):
Every single observation, every reflection, every moment of honesty with
yourself is a victory. With each step, you move closer
to the person who has been waiting behind the mask,
the person who is whole, real and ready to live
(27:11):
an authentic life. And here's the thing. Masks rarely appear
without reason. Their responses protective measures shape by experiences, fear
and emotion. Understanding the emotional triggers behind your mask is
the key to reconnect reconnecting with your real self. But again,
(27:37):
it's just like you know, sit there right now and
think about it. What emotions make you instinctively put on
a mask? Fear, shame, anger, insecurity, guilt. Are there moments
(27:58):
when you speak, when you act, or you smile, but
you don't feel it you do it because you want
to avoid judgment, conflict, vulnerability. Again, these emotional triggers are
like signals. They tell you when your mask is active,
(28:21):
and they point directly to the parts of you that
have been hidden, ignored, or suppressed. Awareness of these triggers
is the first step towards understanding and releasing them. Most
of us have an ongoing internal dialogue thoughts and beliefs
(28:43):
that we barely notice, but that do shape our actions,
which only reinforces our masks. By this dialogue, do you
often tell yourself I can't show this, or I have
to be strong, or maybe I shouldn't feel this way.
(29:07):
Do you measure every action against the expectations of others
rather than your own desires? You convince yourself that hiding
parts of yourself is safer, smarter, and necessary. This inner
conversation is a hidden architect of your mask. But again,
(29:30):
by noticing it, questioning it, and gently, gently challenging it,
you do reclaim some authority over who you are and
how you present yourself to the world. Fear fear Fear
(29:52):
is often the root of the mask. Fear of rejection,
fear of judgment, fear of being misunderstood, fear of being questioned,
fear of being picked on, fear of failing. But notice
the moments when fear influences your behavior, What do you
do about it? Do you just feel fear and reacting
(30:13):
just that's it, and then you just continue on until
the next time you feel fear and then you react,
And then the next time you feel fear and then
you react. And do you stay silent when you want
to speak? Do you agree with others when you're you
secretly disappear? Disagree, I'm sorry, disappear the same thing. Do
(30:37):
you avoid expressing emotion or desire because you worry it
will be criticized? Because the mask is not the enemy,
fear is. Recognizing fear allows you to separate it from
your truth self. When you do that, the mask loses
(30:59):
its grip and you can start reclaiming authenticity. Masks are
especially present in relationships. As I said, with family, friends,
and partners, we often perform to meet expectations, avoid conflict,
(31:20):
or to preserve an image. Over time, we forget that
relationships are healthiest when they are based on truth authenticity.
Let your future partner know everything about you. Don't hid shit,
(31:41):
why it's going to come out. Think of your life
right now, the people in your life, which relationships bring
out the mask the most? Are there moments where I
(32:01):
act in a way I know it's truly me just
to keep the peace or approval. Where can I allow
myself to be more honest? Where do you feel that
you can actually just sit back, kick back, no mask
and just around this person or these certain people, you
can just breathe and just be you. Understanding where masks
(32:31):
exists in relationships helps you to see and not only
your own patterns, but also how you affect and are
affected by those people. You don't need to dismantle your
mask all at once, and just like I said, rip
them off. You don't begin with small observations questioning yourself,
(32:51):
why do I act this way with that person and
in that way with this person? Why do I need
to create this facade of who I am around certain people?
Speaker 5 (33:02):
Is it is it worth it? Is it worth it
to you? Think about it? Is it worth it to
not be able to just be you? And this is
(33:26):
when you start questioning, like, Wow, when I'm around this
person or that person, I just alter my behavior completely.
I don't talk about certain topics.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
I feel that I'm like, I can't be me, And
then you know, if you really notice your body, your tension,
your posture, your facial expressions, that might be that might
signal a mask at work. These small steps are powerful.
They don't demand immediate change. They simply create awareness, which
(33:58):
is the foundation of being authentic rediscovery. When you live
behind the mask for long periods, it doesn't just hide
who you are. It begins to reshape how you see yourself.
(34:20):
The masks become a filter, influencing your beliefs, your behaviors,
and even your desires. You may begin to confuse the
persona you present with your true self. At that point,
you ask yourself, what parts of me are real versus performed?
(34:40):
Are their thoughts, feelings, or desires I dismissed because they
don't fit the mask? Have I started to define myself
by what I show the world rather than by what
I truly feel inside. Repeated masking over and over can
(35:02):
subtly erode your self awareness. Over time, the mirror shows
a reflection that is partially true and partially fabricated, a
hybrid that can feel now unfamiliar. Rediscovery begins with recognizing
that distortion exists. It does and separating the masks from
(35:22):
your authentic self. Masks often operate below this surface of
awareness we forget. We may not even notice them in
action because they are just it's automatic. They become learned behaviors,
reinforced over years, sometimes decades. The conscious mind maintains these
(35:49):
patterns to keep us safe, to prevent discomfort, or to
help us meet expectations. Consider the subtle ways your mask
might show up. Automatic agreement with someone else's opinion, even
when you disagree. It's just easier. It's just easier to
just live behind a mask. Recognizing the subconscious nature of
(36:10):
the mask is crucial. It's not about blame. It's about observation.
It's about observing your own life. Remember this show is
not the reset them, it's reset yourself. Once you see
the mask in action, you can begin deciding when to
keep it on and when to set it aside, at
(36:30):
least temporarily, and when you need to reconnect with the
real you. Living behind a mask isn't neutral. It does
come with a cost, often invisible until you pause, stop reflect,
Suppressed feelings accumulate, creating tension, stress, or even anxiety and depression.
(36:54):
This is what I mean when people get married and
one of them usually to them somewhat. But you know,
people change a little bit, you ever. Like, Like a
good example is like, there's a friend that I know
that like, I just think it's interesting that they are
dating something. They've been dating somebody for years now, but
they I know, they were never into sports, and now
all of a sudden, because that person is into sports,
(37:17):
they are all about it, which is fine, But at
what point, I mean, because there's nothing wrong with you
all of a sudden liking sports? Why not I was
introduced to now? So you're like, wow, I didn't know
this really existed. I enjoy it, but how many people
get lost in it to the point that they're no
longer there? But then this is what happens. One day
they wake up and they're like, I don't want to
(37:38):
watch this game again. I don't want to go get
tickets to go see it. I just I'd rather do
something else. And then that person is like, oh my god,
who are you? Who have you become? The problem is
they've become themselves. It just takes time. Like I said, that,
(37:59):
longer I'm stays on, the more it can shape your habits,
your thoughts, your self perception. Recognition is the first step,
and then, of course there's self deception. Sometimes we begin
to believe the persona that we now present. Yes, I
was never into fishing, but I'm dating somebody who's into fishing,
(38:21):
so I'm into fishing too. And in the beginning, it's exciting.
It's something new, it's a new hobby, it's a new sport.
Why not? And then all of a sudden you're like, oh,
I want to get back into what I did. I
was a cyclist, let's just say. And that person's like,
I don't ride bicycles. That's stupid. So now that's where
the mask starts to peel off a little. They're like,
(38:46):
I didn't bother because I knew you didn't. Now I
want to go back to it because that's who I am.
And that person's like, no, aren't you a fisherman like me?
And it's like, well, I mean, I don't mind doing
what you do, but it's not really who I am.
So now it's like I can't believe you. Who have
you become? Which aspects of you have you rationalize as
(39:12):
normal but are really parts of a mask? Are there
repeated patterns in your life choices, behaviors, reactions that reflect
my mask more than my true self. Who is your
true self? Are you who you were when this first began?
(39:36):
I mean self deception doesn't mean dishonesty, It just means
unconscious adaption. Awareness is the antidote to it. Reflection is
the bridge from mask to authenticity. To see the real you,
you must pause, observe and examine the layers that you've
(39:56):
the many masks that you've accumulated over time. Quiet observation
of your thoughts and emotions, meditation, journaling about daily interactions,
noting when you perform versus when you are truly yourself.
We all know, we all have certain friends that we've
(40:17):
commented that when you're with this person, you feel that,
as they say, you can let your hair down, you
can say whatever you want, you can swear, you can yell,
you can do whatever you want and you don't feel what.
You can talk about religion, you can talk about politics,
and you just know that you will not be judged,
you will not be criticized, you will not be put down.
And then assuring people that you have to put up walls.
(40:39):
You can't say this, can't say that. But like I said,
rediscovering the real you is not an instant thing. It's
gradual for many of you. For many of my clients,
it was at the moment of hypnosis that something was
tapped into I may I just pretty much quiet your
(41:05):
chattering monkey. For those of you that are like, wait, what, yes,
hypnosis is you have your conscious mind, your subconscious mind,
and I just like to place it there, but it's
not really. But your conscious mind is what you're listening
to me right now with. It is the chattering monkey.
It is that voice throughout the day. I need to
do this. I don't need to do that. I believe
(41:25):
in this. I don't believe in that. I'm gonna do here,
I'm gonna go there. I have to make dinner by five,
I have to clean the house, I have to do Okay.
Then you have your subconscious mind. That's your your it's
your old school hard drive. That's where all the commands
and beliefs are there that were created for years. A
(41:46):
lot of times the outsiders will change that and make
us believe that we're not worthy, that we're dumb, that
you know, we're this, we're that, And through life things
will happen that awareness, we question ourselves like, wait a minute,
(42:08):
I really don't like sports. Wait a minute, I'm not
a moviegoer. Wait a minute, I really don't like the
things you do. But you have to observe with some
sense of judgment. It'll be a jerk, especially to yourself.
Notice without forcing change, allowing insights to just emerge naturally. Slowly,
(42:32):
over time, you begin to distinguish between the masks and
your core self. You'll notice thoughts, feelings, and impulses that
are authentically yours, and slowly that mirror will reflect the
real you again. It's almost like when you come out
of the shower and the mirror is like fogged up
(42:54):
and you start wiping it. You start seeing yourself. That's
the real you, a reflection that is familiar yet profoundly renewed.
Masks are not just personal, they are social. From the
moment we enter the world, we are influenced by others.
Think about it, the moment you're born. Your religion has
(43:15):
chosen for you, your race has chosen for you. What
kind of foods you're going to be eating growing up?
Is it going to be Polish food? Is it going
to be Spanish food? Is it going to be Chinese? Food,
because those are the families that you're into well a
part of. From the moment we enter the world, we
are influenced by so many people new culture. These influences
(43:38):
shape who we think we should be, what we should feel,
and how we should act. Consider the subtle ways culture
enforces masks. Expectations about success, appearance, behavior, norms about how men, women,
(43:58):
and other roles should act, social pressure to now conform,
to avoid conflict, or to maintain image. Because over time,
over time, these external pressures now become internalized. The mask
that began as a protective tool evolves into a default identity,
(44:20):
blending personal fear and society social expectations. Read discovery requires
noticing not only your internal patterns, but also external influences
that shaped them. The ego, the ego, Yeah, that ego,
(44:40):
not the bald ego, your ego. The ego is intimately
tied to that mask. Ego seeks validation. Ego seeks control,
It seeks protection. It thrives on performance, comparison and approval
from society. Often our masks are the ego's tools, a
(45:02):
way to maintain safety, status or identify in the eyes
of the world. Because that is so important for someone.
So again, ask yourself, how much of my mask is
maintained to protect my ego? Where am I performing to
feel superior, accepted, and safe? Which actions are driven by
(45:23):
fear or loss or judgment rather than just genuine desire.
Understanding the relationships between ego and masks allow you to
approach rediscovery with clarity. The ego is not the enemy. Actually,
the ego is not a bad thing, but awareness of
(45:47):
its influence helps you to separate authentic self expression from
this performance because I must and I have to fit
in living behind a mask for long periods of time, Carrie,
such long term consequences. I've actually had some clients that
were in their seventies that came in for something simple
(46:13):
and before you know it, here we are, you know,
three hours later, and the person is like, who am I?
I don't know why I'm doing the things I'm doing? Because,
you know, for hypnosis, I don't just like, all right,
close your eyes and let's let me read you something,
(46:34):
and no, I try to like really go in deep
to like what's really going on, why it's going on?
Even something as simple as smoking, all right to me?
Focusing on stopping smoking or overeating is tapping into the original, Like,
let's go back back into time. Why you felt the
need to over why you felt the need to smoke,
(46:55):
why you felt the need to create certain habits. That's
not a bad thing, But to try to solve the
problem twenty years later, it's not the way I work.
I go back to the first day, the first cigarette,
that first cupcake, because repeated masking can't obscure your desires,
(47:24):
your ambitions, and your direction in life. And like I said,
thirty forty fifty sixty years later, you wake up one
day and you're like, when, how did I go off
that path? The more you act inauthentically, the more your
(47:46):
self trust, even in yourself, just diminishes. You can't trust
yourself if you don't know yourself. Authenticity is a quiet revolution.
Stripping away the doesn't guarantee an easier life, especially at seventy,
but it's sometimes it challenges relationships. Habits are or long
(48:06):
held beliefs are there? Are they your beliefs? But it
offers rewards of greater, far greater than comfort. You got freedom,
the relief of being known, even just by yourself. Then
your clear clarity, a sharper understanding of your own desires,
(48:31):
your boundaries and purpose. Then you feel that you have
this wonderful connection, a deeper, more meaningful relationship with others,
because you are the one who's showing up fully. Now you,
the rue you is on stage and trust me, the audience,
the people of your past who may have only known
the mask, are like, who the hell is that guy?
(48:54):
This is me, this has always been me. I apologize
to all of you for having warned this mask for
too long and not allowing the real me to stand out.
For rediscovery is not about protection. It's not about alignment
your internal world, meeting your external expression. Peeling back the
(49:19):
mask is like I said, it's not It's not a
one time thing. It's a slow process, especially as people
people like going, wait, where the hell did you come from?
It's like, I think it works better if you do
it slowly. Moments of insight may be followed by lapses
in old patterns, because they will come out. That's normal.
(49:42):
Awareness is a practice, patience is a necessity, and self
compassion really is essential. Rediscovering is a lifelong journey, my friends.
Each moment of honesty, each always to act in alignment
with your true self. Re enforces authenticity. Over time, those
(50:10):
layers they get thin. The mask becomes optional at at
certain points. I mean it already has been with certain people,
and the reflection you see in the mirror grows true
or clearer and more alive because the mask we wear
shape not only how others do see us, but also
how we see ourselves. It's funny. Imagine a mask that's
(50:33):
actually a mirror on the back, and every time you
put it on, you do see your true self, but
you choose to hide your true self. You may notice
self doubt, mass is confident or insecurity hidden behind humor.
(50:55):
You may dismiss your own instincts, thinking you're not appropriate
really acceptable. Because the masks now dictates what's safe, you
may judge yourself by the standards of the masks rather
than by your authentic values. Masks influence the choices we
(51:17):
make every single day. Ask yourself, are my choices based
on genuine desire or on what my masks tells me
is expected from others? I mean, so many have grown
up in relationship with like strong fathers or even mothers
(51:42):
that expected so much of you, and to survive that
time period, you became this person, which is fine, And
now fast forward. Now you're an adult, and in many
cases your parents have been dead for like twenty thirty
forty years, and you still are wearing a mask for
no reason. You're still holding on to fears and situations
(52:06):
that you really don't have to anymore. You're grown up now,
you can do your own thing, be your own person.
Are these mass reoccurring patterns in your decisions that reflect
safety over authenticity? By noticing these influences, you start to
regain control over like you're an adult. Now you're a
big boy, you're a big girl. You don't have to
(52:28):
you can take the mask, you could throw it out.
You can finally be you. But who are you? Do
you remember? Because the goal isn't to eliminate caution, but
to distinguish between fear driven choices and choices that align
with your real self. So that I can't help. But
(52:55):
many times when I'm sitting here doing these shows, like
I can't, I see different situations friends, friends, clients that
have masked their personal growth. They're constantly performing or hiding.
They avoid experiences that challenge their beliefs, push their own
their own boundaries, and limit their perspective in life. Of
(53:21):
how they view things. It's kind of sad. Growth over
often requires vulnerability, which for so many it's tough to
be vulnerable to let others see how vulnerable you can be.
God forbid, they fear exposure or discomfort. Growth requires honesty.
(53:43):
That is a word that I bring up at the
end of almost every podcast when I'm doing exercises. Be
honest with yourself. Masks will distort self awareness, prevent reflection
on true desires or needs, and growth does demand authenticity.
Mass create a false sense of security that make you
(54:03):
keep from pursuing meaningful change. Living behind a mass restricts
emotional freedom, suppressing feelings, hiding desires, and conforming to expectations
which create tension and internal They make you sick, manifest stress, irritability,
(54:29):
a sense of emptiness. Are your friendships and partnerships based
on the real you or on a persona designed to
be acceptable? Think about that. Are your friendships right now
(54:51):
and partnerships based on the real you? Or is just
something you designed? Do you feel seen? Do you feel understood?
Do you feel heard? Do you feel appreciated for who
you really are? For the version you are presently? Think
(55:23):
about it. A child praised for being good when quiet
may grow a mask of compliance. A teenager criticized for
expressing emotion may adopt a mask of stoicism. Adults may
develop masks to fit professional expectations, social norms, or cultural standards.
(55:52):
Each layer is a response, a survival mechanism. By the
time we reach adulthood, these masks are often deeply ingrained,
shaping not only behavior but self perception and of course,
over the years, mask influence decisions in ways that are
(56:13):
both subtle and profound. What begins as a small protective
adaptation can now accumulate, guiding career paths, relationships, and especially
personal beliefs. Career choices may prioritize safety or image over passion.
Relationships may reflect compliance or approval rather than genius desire.
(56:41):
Daily behaviors may be filtered to maintain acceptance or avoid conflict.
Unmasking its financial just pictured kiss the band. Unmasking can
feel uncomfortable, even frightening. That's why self compassion is essential.
(57:06):
Masks often protect vulnerable parts of ourselves, and confronting them
may now after wearing a mask for forty fifty years,
trigger shame or resistance. But here's the thing. Approach the process. Generally,
avoid judgment, Recognize that fear and discomfort our natural responses.
Celebrate small victories, moments of honesty, and step towards authenticity.
(57:27):
If anything, if you have any bed in your life
right now that you feel that you can just be
the true you all the time, and maybe they've never
seen a mask, sit with them and tell them what's
going on. How do I go back? How do I
change and become the person I am? With you? With everyone?
(57:51):
The thought process is gradual, the rewards are profound. Think
about that. Self trust erodes when masks dominate. Each time
you hide your truth, you suppress emotion or conform to expectation,
(58:13):
A subtle message is sent yourself, my real self isn't safe.
Over time, that can diminish confidence in your in instincts, decisions,
and judgment. But to rebuild self trust, observe the mask
(58:33):
and acknowledge its purpose without blame. Make small, intentional choices
aligned with your authentic self. That's why I say pick.
If you have somebody in your life that you know
you don't have to wear a mask around, talk to
them about it. Reflect that moments when where authenticity yielded
positive results even the smallest of ones. Gradually, as you
(58:57):
do this, you continue to do this. Self trust grows,
reinforcing the ability to act authentic, authentic, authentically without fear,
and weakening the need for protective performance. Masks such a
(59:22):
such an interesting concept because we do so many of
us do wear them. Authenticity is deeply connected to emotional alignment,
the harmony between what you feel and how you express
yourself mass distort the alignment. You may smile when you
(59:44):
feel sadness, laugh when you feel anger, or agree when
you don't want to. Over time, these discrepancies create tension,
self doubt, and disconnection from your core emotions. Again, revisit
right now. Is there anybody in your life now? When
you're with them, it's very different. You feel that you
(01:00:08):
can just breathe, you can say whatever you want feel
however you so choose. It's a good feeling. You just
be you, and they know you. They're really you, even
(01:00:30):
the bad youth, the stupid you, the dummy you, the
you with some bad habits, because none of us are perfect.
But think of those relationships and how important they are.
Those are the relationships that you should make, grow and
(01:00:51):
get more relationships like that. You know what it is
to a lot of times we create. We're the ones
when we start a new relationship with somebody, they will
only know what we feed them. Think about it. I
can walk into like right now, I'm in Kentucky. I
could walk into the local supermarket, meet new neighbors and
just say hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, and I'm
(01:01:12):
from this city called Gotham. And you know I do
some some social work with people. I help people. What
are they gonna know about me? Exactly what I told him?
Sounds crazy, but it's true. So there was a guy.
(01:01:33):
There was one of the as for those of you
that I watch a lot of criminal shows and stuff like that,
I think it's fast. I love law. And there was
a gentleman which I could not stop watching the screen.
It was this one guy. Interesting, I'm going to be wrong.
It's a lot worse than you think. It's a guy
who dated a woman. And he said that he was
(01:01:53):
like a general and he had the suits, the pins,
the badges, the bars, he had everything. And then once
he got to know her and obviously slept with her,
but started taking stuff from her. He took a lot
from her. He just bounced then he did it again,
then he did it again, then he did it again,
(01:02:16):
then he did it again, and almost every time it
was different out for its different uniforms, different jobs, different careers.
And then sooner or later, certain people started like hey,
wait a minute, and connecting, especially now with social media,
but they started connecting and going wait a minute. You know,
I was with a mister so and so. Here's a picture,
(01:02:37):
and to that lady, she's like, that's not mister so
and so, the general. That's doctor so and so. And
then the third person was like, no, he is a
social worker in Chicago. And the other person's like, no,
he is a surfer in California. I mean in this one,
and it was just like, wow, how can you go
(01:02:57):
through life with so many masks? Obviously it's a lot
more simple. He was just a dirt back criminal. But
you know, I couldn't help but watch that episode think
to myself, in his mind, is there a point where
you actually believe wholeheartedly that you are these people, that
(01:03:19):
you are these costume jobs, these generals, this surgeon, this,
this surfer, this it's excuse my friends, it's a mind fuck.
And again, it's a lot more complex than like what
I'm talking about with you know, just talking about us
and our hiding our feelings, our emotions. But Jesus, like
(01:03:41):
are you serious? Like how does he sleep at night?
And who is he? Like he changed everything, his entire look,
his entire person everything. Magine imagine doing that. Think about that.
Imagine doing that right now where you are, you're living
(01:04:02):
your life. Imagine that everything that's happening right now in
your life is happening. Okay, picture it. It's easy because
it's happening. And then all of a sudden, the beginning
of next month, the first it's almost here. You are
just picked up and put in a completely other state,
six states over, and it's it's almost like, you know,
(01:04:25):
like crime prevention. Like now, all of a sudden, your
your new job is. You are a plumber, and you
have a wife and three kids and this and just
fast forward. You already have the three kids, you already have, this,
you have you know, you have a collection of sports cars.
You're into the Cincinnati Reds and and you went to
school and this is what you do. And then the
(01:04:46):
following month, you're in Quebec, Canada and you are a
ship captain. And again this is a lot more involved
than the basic concept of this series show this show,
but it's the same concept. At what point do you
strip back and go stop? My name is Jimmy Gonzalez.
(01:05:11):
I was born in Bridgeport, Connecticut to such and such parents.
I grew up on such and such street. When I
was young, my goals were, I wanted to do this
my dream when I was a kid, I wanted to
be a clown in hospitals for kids. Thank you, there's
(01:05:31):
a sign you are a clown, but it's the truth. Basically,
when I was young, I swallowed a pencil long story short,
and I ended up back. Then. I was in the
hospital for a month, right around Christmas time, and it
was very infected. I was very sick. It was long
story short. But during that time I got to see
(01:05:51):
how a lot I was in the children's ward and
see how sad these kids were, and how a lot
of their parents Not all were pieces of crap, but
a lot of them were busy, and these kids were
almost like forgotten during their time being there. I mean,
this is a hospital. It's not even like a home marine.
This is a hospital. And I remember thinking to myself,
(01:06:11):
like how horrible this is. And I used to go
to the toy library and get certain toys and bring
them to the different rooms because all of these kids
can leave their beds. My issue was in my throat,
so I could walk all over the hospital, and I
used to feel so bad for them. Now I've worn
(01:06:35):
many masks, many jobs, many hats throughout my life, and
I still am very passionate of soon I'll be wearing
a new one. Remember that, Remember that. But it's just interesting,
because there's nothing wrong with changing. It's just when you
get lost in it too much and you start criticizing
the person you were. I mean, I was a DJ,
I was an animal control officer. I've had many fascinating,
(01:06:57):
wonderful jobs that I've loved, each and every one them.
Just because I don't do it anymore means I've written
them off. The relationships that I've been in, even because
they didn't work out, means that they were a waste
of my time. What you've done so far is not
a waste of your time, good, bad, ugly. But I
just want you to start to think now to who
(01:07:21):
you are right now, and are you happy with who
you've become? And know that you have complete and total
control of it, and that you can change it right now.
Yes you can. So. I hope I made you think
about the concept of your mask, and the next time,
(01:07:43):
hopefully today, at some point when you walk by a mirror,
you actually look into the mirror, look at the color
of your eyes, look at your cheekbones, look at your wrinkles,
and say to yourself, do I love me? Do I
respect to me? For all that ship you've done in
(01:08:04):
your life? Do you forgive you? Because you should let
it go? Life is too short. Let it let it go. Please,
It's not worth it. Live a life of happiness, of compassion,
of gratitude and acknowledge everything that you have and all
(01:08:29):
that as I said, all that bad shit you've done,
the stupid ship, it is what it is. Move on,
let go be happy. Thank you for letting me self.
Speaker 1 (01:09:06):
Was brought to me by Alma and gnosis and healing
and the mind Sie meditation dedicated to all of us
every day in all these to make the difference in
our lives and our lives to others. If you are
interested in learning more about the services than Ammy offers,
visit www dot n O E M A h h
(01:09:27):
dot com. Jimmy offers a downloadable ebook and a link
to his Mind's Eye meditation sessions, which are both offered
for free. Please consider it a gift. And for those
that like the do it yourself approach, Jimmy also offers
pre recorded self hypnosis sessions. If you prefer the one
on one approach, feel free to reach out. You have
been listening to the Reset Yourself twenty two podcast eight
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