Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Growth is usually in
an area that is uncomfortable
for us, right?
If it was comfortable, we mightalready be operating there.
One or more of these threethings are also the things that
are holding you back yourcurrent habits versus your
future habits, or your successhabits.
Your current relationshipsversus who you should be
surrounding yourself with, andwhat you currently know versus
(00:26):
what you need to know to be ableto move forward.
Real estate professionals,you're back here with Jake and I
on the RMG Agent Podcast.
We are so excited to have youhere.
We're here to impact, empowerand encourage you in all things
real estate and, this season,personal growth.
(00:46):
As always.
Go to rmgagentpodcastcom.
You can find all kinds of ouraction guides and goodie bags
and different things, webinarsthat we've posted there just to
be able to help you out.
And if you're looking for anamazing tool to help you level
up your professionalism,areaprocom forward.
Slash rmg for an incrediblediscount on what we think is an
(01:07):
awesome product that allprofessional agents should use.
So, jake, what?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
are we talking about
this season?
We are talking about personalgrowth, but I'm going to do a
plug.
We did a episode on Areapro.
Oh yeah, it's been a little bit.
So go back and watch that andcheck out the demo on uh youtube
on our youtube channel and itwill show you how to use it.
Yes, and it's great, and we useit pretty much every day in our
(01:32):
office.
So, uh, all right, stoppingwith the plugging of the awesome
tool.
Uh, we are doing uh, the partthree of warning breakthroughs
may cause discomfort.
Go back and watch part one andtwo.
Yes, before you watch this one,it'll make a whole lot more
sense.
And today we're talking aboutstrategic action turning
(01:53):
identity shift into real results.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Yes, so when we're
talking about this idea of
personal growth, right, thereason we're talking about
breakthrough may causediscomfort is is growth?
Is is usually in an area thatis uncomfortable for us, right?
If it was comfortable, we mightalready be operating there, and
for some of us, we've actuallygrown into something and over
the years, we've let it degrade,right.
(02:16):
And then it's still reallyuncomfortable, right?
So it's the, it's the personwho is the professional athlete,
and then, you know, 10, 15, 20years later, they're super
overweight and all of that, andthey look back and they think
back about what they were, whatthey used to be able to do, and
there's so much shame that comesalong with that that it just
creates this massive barrier,right.
The other barrier, of course,is just the fact that I can
(02:38):
maybe see these glimpses of whoI could become, and there's
there's just like feeling of, ohmy gosh, that's a lot of work
or it's overwhelming eventhinking about it.
So we want to break down thisidea of growth into a model
that's simple, actionable andand logical, and so that's
that's what we're doing.
So we started out with thisidea of awareness and self
(03:00):
awareness.
We want to be able to baselinewhere we are and be able to be
in reality around it and beaware how other people
experience us, be aware of youknow, the, the different
negative mindsets and thingsthat we're bringing to the table
, so that way we can pinpointthem and actually see an area
for for growth.
A lot of times, the lack ofawareness around this and the
(03:22):
the prodding for growth can showup like stress.
So one of the things that I'velearned over the years is stress
actually can be a really goodfriend.
Stress can be a killer, but oneof the great gifts of stress is
that stress happens to be anearly warning sign that you need
to grow.
When you come up to the end ofyourself, you come up to this
(03:43):
area of you know I comfortablyoperate here.
And now to go to this otherlevel, there's this level of
discomfort.
That's where stress sets in.
And when stress starts settingin, it's really life saying, hey
, you need to grow, you need togrow, and if I listen to that
voice, now I need to grow bylooking at this and saying, ok,
so, so I need to become aware.
(04:04):
What is it that I'mexperiencing?
Right, and then the next thingthat I want to do once I go
through this, this kind ofunderstanding of self-awareness.
I need to do what we talkedabout in our last episode, which
is have an identity shift, andwe talked about, you know,
things that are maybe behaviorsof ours or a part of kind of how
we currently identify.
They become, like solidifiedand concrete and then, if we
(04:28):
allow that to happen, these,these things that are impacting
our future, really become hardto break up.
So we talked about shiftingfrom this idea of this is my
identity to this is a currentbehavior that I have, changing
our story, changing our languagearound it, and then that brings
us to this, this top level ofour model, nice.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Okay.
So we're going to talk abouthabits, but I think I'm going to
give you a sports analogy thatum, or a person that has done
this kind of all of thisthroughout the process Do you
know the Tom Brady story verywell?
Uh, for it.
So in college he was a highlyrecruited college football
player, but Michigan recruited aguy that was like the number
(05:11):
one quarterback in the countrycoming out of high school.
So Tom gets benched throughoutthe season and they do this
weird shift and ultimately whatit leads to is Tom's identity is
slightly shaken.
He gets drafted super late inthe seventh round by the
Patriots.
He's a backup quarterback again, right.
He gets thrust into thestarting role and he ends up
(05:37):
winning the Super Bowl right.
So he is thrust in when Bledsoegets hurt, wins the Super Bowl.
Well, we fast forward 10 yearsfrom that.
You know he's one of the bestquarterbacks in the league, but
he has this identity that hewants to play for like 20.
I think it was like 22 years or20 years.
And so he goes through thisidentity change and shift where
(05:57):
he starts to have a personalcoach who trains him, because
just practicing with the teamisn't going to get him to the
goal that he's looking to get to.
He changes his diet I believehe became a vegan and he did all
of these different uh exercisesthat we're going to allow him
to play for a really long time.
So, as we move into the firstpoint we're going to talk about,
(06:21):
which is building new, newhabits building new habits and
your systems, shaping yoursuccess, this is somebody that
is the greatest quarterback ofpretty much all time, who went
through identity crisis in incollege and in pros and then
ultimately had to change hishabits from a super bowl winning
quarterback to now the greatestquarterback of all time yeah,
(06:43):
yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
So we're talking
about habits as the first of
this, this, uh, this layer whichis, uh, taking strategic action
.
So on the last episode, we talkabout identity shift.
It's like, okay, cool, so maybeyou buy this idea that I need
to change my story.
And here's this first layer ofof the way that I talk and the
way that I communicate, being um, towards who I intend on
becoming, not who I have been.
(07:05):
But then we say, okay, so howdo we actually make this really
practical?
And practically, there's threethings that I found that lead to
breakthrough when it comes togrowing, growing yourself, and
that's going to be your habits,right, first, and we'll come
back around to that, it's goingto be your habits, it's going to
be your relationships and it'sgoing to be your education.
(07:28):
So, if you're looking for avery simple formula to break
through so I've identified, likeI'm now aware that there's
something in my life that'sholding me back and I have
decided that I'm going to starttalking and acting like I have a
new identity which aligns withmy future, not my past then I
need to actually walk that out.
(07:48):
And walking that out is morethan just saying I'm choosing to
do it, although that's a greatplace to start, and so these are
the three things that you haveto be able to do to be able to
do it.
By the way, one or more ofthese three things are also the
things that are holding you backyour current habits versus your
future habits, or your successhabits, your current
relationships versus who youshould be surrounding yourself
(08:09):
with, and what you currentlyknow versus what you need to
know to be able to move forward,right?
Okay, so if we take a look atthis and we take a look at this
idea of new habits, success isnot about motivation.
It's about consistent habitsthat reinforce our new identity.
Right?
So I'll read that again Successis not about motivation.
(08:30):
It's about consistent habitsthat reinforce our new identity.
If your success is tied to justbeing, purely like, excited and
motivated all the time,motivation and willpower, they
wane, they come and they go, andso what we want to be able to
do is we want to be able to takea look and say, okay, this
version of this person that Iwant to become or intend on
(08:51):
becoming, what does that persondo?
When do they wake up?
How often do they work out?
What's their spiritual lifelook like what are their habits
in business?
And now I want to startmodeling that.
Of course, there's been a lot ofgreat books probably the best
one is atomic habits, of how tostart building habits but
there's a period of time whenyou start into changing the
(09:12):
trajectory of your life.
That means that new habits aregoing to be really, really hard
because they require anexceptional amount of discipline
for a short period of timewe'll call it, you know, three
months to a year, something likethat.
The one thing talks about.
That's not 21 days, I want tosay on average, just like 60
days, and then it can extend outbased off of how, um, how
(09:35):
ingrained an old habit is yeah,I think it's 60 is 66 days is is
the number that I've heard.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
yeah, and that's for
like an easy habit to create
right, like it's the the biggerthe habit that you need to and
that's for like an easy habit tocreate right, like it's the
bigger the habit that you needto create, the longer you need
to do it for it to becomeingrained.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yeah.
So for me, I have never in mylife up until the beginning of
last year had a healthyrelationship with food, and it
took me 137 days to actually getinto a place where now I have a
healthy relationship with food,and it wouldn't have happened
in 60 days, it didn't happen in100 days and a little bit over
(10:13):
130 days I started to realizeI've actually rewired myself
around this and so now I don'thave a propensity to overeat and
I don't have this propensity tosee something that I really
like and just think like this isgoing to be great if I have a
bite of this, so I should eatlike you know, instead of one
bite of cheesecake I should eatlike a whole cheesecake, right?
So it took a long time torewire those habits because I
(10:36):
have not had a healthyrelationship with food right.
But who I intend on becoming issomebody who has to have a
healthy relationship with food,because if not, it holds back so
many other areas of my lifeyeah, it's interesting you talk
about.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
The food is where you
know, as I've seen you go
through this transition, Iwouldn't say that I have a um,
an unhealthy relationship withfood, but as I'm going through
some of this personal growthstuff, I have came to the
realization that I use food as arelease to stress.
Yeah, and so my weight and myhealth goes up and down based on
(11:12):
the stress level of my life.
If I'm not in stress and I loseweight pretty easily, and if I
am stressed, I start to overeator I buy the candy bar on the
way home from work or whatever,opposed to choosing not to.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Yeah, and that goes
back to like that first step is
awareness.
It's like, oh, this is how Iact when X happens, right, so
cool.
So.
So now we're on this, now we'reon this growth journey.
So if I'm looking at buildingnew habits, if I look at a new
habit and I look at it maybe inan unhelpful way, I'm going to
look at somebody.
I'm going to say, look at thatperson.
They have discipline acrossevery area of their life.
(11:48):
They have all of this stufftogether, but what you're
actually observing is one, two,three or four key habits that
that you're observing, and thenyou're assuming that every,
everything else is, is greatand's.
That's not necessarily a goodassumption and the problem with
that, I think, is that it makesthe, it makes access to personal
growth so overwhelming.
(12:08):
Right, if you see somebody whohas healthy eating habits, uh,
they may have fought a battlefor years to get there right.
Or, for me, when I look at mycalendaring habits and how just
absolutely rhythmatic that I amnow, if you would have met me 10
years ago, you would have foundsomebody who was completely out
of control with their use oftime, somebody who you know had
(12:30):
this really unhealthy desire tohave freedom.
That actually created lots ofproblems which resulted in not
having freedom, especiallyfinancial freedom.
And so if you see me now andyou think, oh my gosh, like he's
so organized and he's so,nobody says that about me.
But you know, like when itcomes to your calendar, like
that was a decade of absoluteknock down, you know, drag out
(12:51):
fights with myself to be able togrow, grow in that area yeah,
and I think the first time I metyou was probably seven years
ago and it was when you taughtbasically a calendaring class.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
I think you called it
like the three day work week,
yep, and, and you had gonethrough this long term journey
to get to that point.
And I never knew any of that.
I just assumed you came out ofthe womb like perfect a
calendaring, yeah, yeah, so yeah, ok, perfect.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Yeah, so personal
growth is really accessible to
you, because it's about what isthe?
What is the, the one habit, um,that will make success
inevitable, right?
Or what is the one thing that Ican do right now by way of a
new habit that's going to unlockthis series of habits that are
just going to stack on eachother over the course of time
and maybe five years from now,I'm going to be a totally
(13:41):
different person.
The challenge is is that youknow, if you're, if you're not,
a very, very old person, like inyour 80s or 90s, there's a good
chance.
You have a lot of life left.
And so if you look at this andyou say, oh, my gosh, are you
telling me that me, becomingthis new person and having this
level of success is going tocost me five years, and then,
instantly, you're short sightedenough to think well, I'm just
(14:03):
not going to do that Now.
It's going to cost you 20 yearsor never.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
I'm going to have a
hot take here, that if you
choose not to change your habits, that you are going to be a
different person in five yearsthan you are today, but in the
wrong direction, yeah yeah,Because just because you've
gotten to this place doesn'tmean you're guaranteed it right.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
You can slough, and
most likely you will slough
backwards.
And the other thing is is, asthe world moves on and as as
maybe your competition makes adifferent choice than you, you
might find that you're fartherand farther away from not just
who you wanted to be, but fromeven the current results that
you're getting.
Right.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Yep, okay, so we've
talked about building new habits
.
The second topic for this isgoing to be upgrading your
relationships.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Yes, so upgrading
your relationships.
We see this in parenting.
We say this in parenting, Iwould say, with a pretty
absolute conviction, and that isbe careful who your friends
hang out with, right, and youtell your kids, be careful of
your friend group, and then ofcourse, they don't listen right,
or then you know sometimes theylisten, or like we happen to be
in this season of life whereall of our kids have really
(15:08):
fantastic friends and the easeof them building new habits, the
ease of their growth, the easeof them doing so many things is
just magical.
We've also had the oppositeexperience where even one friend
that was that was reallychallenging, cause our son this
is hard to say caused him toactually be come that friend for
(15:31):
other people.
That was a scary season of life.
Right, we are no difference,different as adults.
If you are the smartest, mostsuccessful, most successful, um,
maybe even best parent in yourfriend group, you have a problem
with your friend group.
You have a problem with thepeople that you're spending your
time in your relationships with, because they don't have the
(15:51):
ability to model for you whatthe next level looks like.
Right, you, you, actually, I,ideally you, you are in a friend
group that there's even a levelof, maybe, insecurity that it,
that it induces in you, orthere's a level of, you know,
you having to fight this feelingof not feeling good enough to
(16:11):
be with that group, because thatmeans that you're in a group
that's going to create kind ofan updraft for you, kind of an
updraft for you right now.
The way that you get invitedand stay in a group like that is
, of course, you don't continueto model the old behaviors like
we talked about.
You know the old identities.
You start modeling the newthings, even if you don't feel
like it's authentic yet.
Right, because people, uh,great people that I've been
(16:35):
around, I've been invited intosome people's lives that
honestly I just felt like I haveno business being in this
person's life because they areso far beyond me.
But I think what they saw in mewasn't even a whole lot of
talent or anything like that,but a desire to take what they
gave me and take thatrelationship and do something
with it to continue my growth.
(16:55):
And maybe even the ones thatwere really wise, they maybe saw
in me this desire to not justtake it and use it, but take it
and pass it on.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
I like to think of
being kind of in the middle of
that friendship group of like Ilearn best from other people and
then I learn the most by takingthat and passing it on to the
next person.
Right, If you want to learnsomething really well, you teach
it to somebody else.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah, yeah.
So if you look at you know,like the concept of 360 degree
leadership or any of that youhave to have, you know it's,
it's healthy to have people thatyou're helping grow, people
that are peers, that are runningalongside of you, where you're
challenging and encouraging eachother and maybe have a lot of
context with each other, andthen mentors and coaches, right,
people that are ahead of youand they're helping you move
forward, right?
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Your relationships
really, really matter if you
want to sustain growth.
Yeah, yeah, we use the model,the question triangle, yeah, and
the who you want to become andthe who you surround yourself
with massive are the mostimportant questions you can ask
yourself.
So, okay, uh, last is, investin your education.
Learn what your future selfalready knows.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Yeah.
So if you're Jake Incorporatedand I'm Reed Incorporated, right
Like I'm the person who'sresponsible for investing in
myself and making myself a morevaluable asset whether that's a
family or a church or inbusiness then there's really no
substitute for learning, foreducation, and so one of the
conversations that we have withour kids is you know, some of
them are going to go to college.
Some of them might go reallyreally far down, you know an
(18:25):
academic pathway, and some ofthem might choose alternative
paths, no-transcript.
Regardless of what you do there, we want you to choose to be a
lifelong learner, right, andthis, this idea of consistently
choosing to learn and grow, is amassive competitive advantage,
(18:46):
and one of the things I found,too, is areas of breakthrough in
my life that I've gotten stuckaround and haven't been able to
break through.
A lot of times.
I lack the relationships, a lotof times, that have the
knowledge and then subsequentlythe knowledge to be able to
break through.
The ability for me to go getknowledge before I need it is a
(19:07):
huge, huge advantage, and so ifyour mindset towards education
is unless I can currently see myneed for it, I'm going to
ignore it then you're going toignore everything that might
apply to what's next.
And so, if there are thingsthat apply to who you're not yet
you know, you haven't becomeyet, those are areas of
knowledge to be able to seek out, and that's formal education,
(19:30):
it's informal education.
So, over the years, one of thethings I've seen is the amount
of money that I spend on anannual basis for education.
I could have, you know, aHarvard education, probably 10
times over, because there's justthis consistent I'm.
I'm my best asset.
I need to go, continue toinvest in myself, especially if
(19:50):
I'm wanting to grow intosomebody that I'm not yet.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Well, and this is one
of those habits that you know
you're doing such a great job ofbuilding for your kids, of of
building that wanting to belearning based and continuing to
grow and gathering educationand all of those things, and
it's something that I've seenyou do, that now our kids, my
kids, are modeling and gettingto see that.
But what, what I missed in thatis sometimes in the past I may
(20:16):
have chose not to focus on myeducation.
Yeah, and it's really hard totell your kids to do something.
But I did see on a podcast andI think I know which podcast is,
but I don't.
I don't want to say it wrong butthe person said that the
currency in their household was21 pages a night, and what they
(20:37):
meant by that was that theirkids could do what they wanted
after they read 21 pages.
Yeah, didn't matter the book,they just had to read 21 pages
in any book every single day tobe able to do the things that
they wanted, which you know.
That's a.
That's a habit that the parentis building in a natural way for
them, and even if the kiddoesn't like to read to start
(20:58):
with, they will learn to like toread as they read more and more
and more yeah Well it makes methink of all of the times that
our parents either did or didn'tbut let's just say your parents
did force you to do somethinglike stick with the piano or
stick with this sport that youdidn't like.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
And how many adults
look back and they have these
skills and they can look back tothe times that they hated it
and they wanted to quit and thenthey were pushed into that and
then they did it and now it'sthe skill that they get to use
for the rest of their life.
Right, we have a uh, we have areal disadvantage as adults, and
that is that there's nobody inour life that has the right to
say you will do this, right,yeah, and so now we have to
(21:38):
actually embrace that ourselvesand we have to go after
ourselves.
And it's a, it's a bigchallenge.
Right, it's a big problem,because I'm my biggest problem,
right.
So so if we look at this and welook at this, there's uh,
there's habits, there'srelationships in their education
.
If you're looking at yourcurrent situation and you're
feeling stuck, take a look andsay do my habits currently
reflect who I intend on becomingor who I have been?
(22:01):
If it's not who you're becoming, then focus in on your habits.
If you look at yourrelationships and they are not,
you know, projecting into whoyou're becoming.
Focus on relationships.
If you look at your education,you find yourself always saying,
oh my gosh, like I'm feelingbehind, I don't know what to do.
I know what to do, then it'seducation, right?
So, uh, and and and.
(22:21):
So it can be, and it can bemultiples of those.
So probably the last thing Iwould say with this is, from a,
from a coaching perspective uh,this isn't you.
Being at your best is notsomething that you go alone and
you really are successful, uh,at, or else you wouldn't even be
listening to this, because youwould already be leveling up and
leveling up, and leveling up,because you're coaching yourself
(22:41):
at a high level.
It doesn't work that way, right?
So there's a conversationthat's worth having with
somebody who's a professionalcoach, somebody who's a mentor
or somebody who's a good friend.
That's maybe a little bit aheadof you, and you can literally
just give them this and be likewalk me through this.
If they're skilled, it's goingto be more helpful.
But there's a pattern and thatis that, if I need to break
(23:02):
through, the very first place tostart is focus and the focusing
questions are you know, ifyou're in a place right now
where you're actively doingbusiness and life is busy and
there's all kinds of thingsgoing on, focus sounds simple or
focus sounds unattainable.
And unattainable is if we needto focus down to one thing that
(23:23):
seems like it's one out of 30things that are all equal
priority.
It takes some work to be ableto get to focus and it takes a
lot of work to be able to chooseto say no to other things that
are just yelling at you Like no,no, I'm more important, I'm
more important.
So you have to.
You have to be be able to focus.
Then you need to be able tolook for strategic options.
Once you've identified the veryfirst as gary keller would say
(23:46):
domino to knock over, then Ineed to be able to figure out
what are my strategic options?
What can I do about this?
Once I get a strategic optionthat works for me, now I'm
looking for a model right in mymind.
Now I'm looking for a modelright In my mind.
When I'm looking for a model,the first thing I'm looking for
is who has done this before, whohas modeled this?
(24:06):
If I can find somebody who'smodeled it, then I'm going to
move from there and I'm going tolook to systemize it.
Have they systemized it or isthere a system to be able to do
this?
This is the reason that youknow different things like
CrossFit have been so successfulis somebody shows up, there's
people there that model it likehere's how to do it, and then
there's a system that I don'thave to try to recreate the
(24:28):
wheel all the time.
Right, once I have all thosethings now the last thing that
growth really doesn't happenwithout is accountability.
Who am I going to have in mylife that's going to continually
encourage me to be at my bestor to rise up or to get to the
next level If I do those things,you know?
So I go through awareness, I gothrough challenging and
(24:51):
changing my identity, and then Itake strategic action.
I'm going to have breakthroughand I'm going to grow into the
person that I was created tobecome, all right.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
So sneak peek.
We're going to plug somethingthat is going to be another
resource for you, in that youstarted another podcast with
another one of our friends.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Yeah, so I had the
opportunity with a friend, chase
Williams, to be able to mergeour coaching companies and it's
called Sherpa Consulting Group.
The idea is this you know, wewe are people who are going to
continue to help you climbhigher in life and leadership
and help you get up the mountain, and so we're launching that,
and we're also launching aleadership podcast to go side by
side with our RMG agent podcastto really help people that are
(25:32):
on this leadership journey aswell.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Yeah, so if you're
nailing this personal growth uh
mission but you but you haven'texactly figured out how to pass
it along to those people in yourlife that's going to be a great
resource for you and I'm superexcited for that.
And you know, Chase has been onthis podcast as one of the
master series and he's awesome.
He's one of the best people Iknow and I'm super excited for
(25:57):
you guys to do that.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Yeah, you guys can go
to Sherpa Consulting Group dot
com to get more informationabout that, and it's just
another thing that we're goingto do to be able to help empower
leaders as well as continue tocome alongside you guys as real
estate professionals.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Awesome.
Well, as always, guys, we'rehere to impact, empower and
encourage you and all things youdo, and specifically yourself
this year.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Awesome, guys, thanks
again, take care.