November 19, 2025 • 55 mins
This one starts with the world's best cookies and ends with an existential gut check, which feels just about right for Roll With The Punches. I'm chatting with Dr Dinesh Palipana, who just casually happens to be a doctor, researcher, advocate, Australian of the Year and absolute legend who is also living with a spinal cord injury after a car accident at 25.
We talk about growing up in Sri Lanka between Buddhism and Catholicism, and how that shaped his whole view on identity, labels and what actually matters. He is disarmingly funny, brutally honest and annoyingly humble. We get into discipline, temptation, materialism, food as a sensory lifeline after injury, grief for the body he once had, and the gratitude he feels now simply to wake up in Australia, talk about cookies and not be in a war zone without care. We talk presence, civility, social media, mums as superheroes, his book and the TV series in the works. It is equal parts cookies, poo jokes, philosophy and perspective. I loved this chat. I've a feelin' ya'll will too.
SPONSORED BY TESTART FAMILY LAWYERS
Website: testartfamilylawyers.com.au
DINESH PALIPANA
Website: palipana.com
TIFFANEE COOK
Linktree: linktr.ee/rollwiththepunches
Website: tiffcook.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
She said, it's now never I got fighting in my blood.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I'm tiff. This is Roll with the Punches and we're
turning life's hardest hits into wins. Nobody wants to go
to court, and don't. My friends are test Art Family Lawyers.
Know that they offer all forms of alternative dispute resolution.
Their team of Melbourne family lawyers have extensive experience in
(00:29):
all areas of family law to facto and same sex couples,
custody and children, family violence and intervention orders, property settlements
and financial agreements. Test Art is in your corner, so
reach out to Mark and the team at www dot
test Artfamilylawyers dot com dot au. Denish Pelapana, welcome to
(00:53):
Roll with the Punches.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Thank you, thanks for having me. It's such a good name.
It's up, it's perfect.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
It's what we do. It's what we do. You've been
Rolling with the Punches to get here on time, and
it took me a swift thirty eight seconds to start
banging on about these cookies I now have an absolute
obsession with, so hopefully you're going to come down to
Melbourne and try a cookie soon.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
I love cookies. Cookies are so good.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Oh mate, these ones are These ones are next level,
next level and they're definitely, you know, Australian of the
Year worthy. So if anyone could try them, you definitely
could thank you.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Kowksa. Are they like? What manner of cookie are there?
Is it chopped chip? Is it? What's the story?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
My all time favorite is pistachio crunch. Okay, so it's
a big cookie. It's got chop chips in it, and
then in the middle, it's got this pistachio cream, which
it also has on top, and it's got whatever that
crispy stuff in that Jubai chocolate that everyone raves about
(02:00):
that I don't really like, but there's this crispy stuff.
So it's got this crispy crunchy text. It's like a
party in your mouth. It is amazing. And you heat
the mark fifteen seconds in the microwave. I'm telling you
it'll change your life.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
There is a there is a small hiccup because I
have scilliact disease, So I wonder if that gluten for you.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
She definitely she does, because I said I was away
for three days and I have notes in my for
my pet sitter. I have notes to say that the
cookie shop is worth a visit. And I know that
they were gluten free and they went three days in
a row, so just saying they're pretty good. And the
lady who owns the cookie shop and makes the cookies,
(02:39):
she is a Type one diabetic, so she is all
over nutritional requirements.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Okay, and welcome everyone to Rolling with the Cookie.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
This is how we go here on this show. I mean,
you and your life is spectacular, but let's hit the
big things first and talk about cookies.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Important thing. The cookie is a foundation to everything. I think.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I think they are. I actually think they are. I
think and I my nickname sometimes is Cookie because Tiffany Cook,
so I feel like it is it's my path to
lead people to the cookies.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Yeah, I've been led to the cookie today, so thank you.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Anyway, Let's talk about you, because you're far You actually
are far more amazing and far more accomplished. How do
you how do you describe yourself?
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Watching number one? Because you're kind of a few things.
You're you're an advocate, You're you're a medical doctor, you're
a researcher, you're a whole. But you're Australian of the Year.
I think I mentioned that what's your number one? You know?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
So I spent the first ten years of my life
in Sri Lankan, and Sri Lanka is it's got so
many different cultures within it. So they're Buddhist people, there
are Christian people, there are Hindu people, they are Muslim people.
And my mum was Catholic and my dad was Buddhist.
(04:09):
So I learned a bit about Buddhism when I was
growing up. And one of the things that you learn
in Buddhism, I suppose, is that there is no eye really,
so so I don't know if I am anything, and
I try not to hang onto those things. But I
(04:33):
try to think about things that I want to live by,
and I suppose I just want to be trying to
I just want to be a good person every day.
I want to try and plant some trees on this
earth that will bear fruit for future generations. I want
to be a good person to my neighbor and our
(04:56):
fellow human being. I want to be a person of integrity.
And so I suppose there are things that I try
to be every day, but I don't think i'm anything otherwise.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Nice answer, Nice answer, all right? In a in our lives,
not just yours. I guess everyone is that are these
days very busy and very distracted. What is your practice?
Do you practice Buddhism or do you have a practice
to hold on to being grounded and holding those views.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I don't like I take lessons from everything. I mean,
I've had conversations with people from all kinds of faiths
over the years. So I've had conversations with Buddhists and
Christians and Muslims and Hindus, and I think there are
a lot of good common threads that are out of
all of these things. I heard this idea not too
(05:57):
long ago that it's one thing to say be ritualistic
about a lot of the religions that we have, but
actually it's just about practicing the right things every day,
you know. And they have five precepts in Christianity, they
have ten commandments. But I think all of those things,
actually it is just a good foundation for life. So
(06:20):
if you follow those things, I think you end up
having a good life and do good things for the world.
So I don't think there's a particular practice, but I
just try to follow these values that all of these
things teach to try and be good I think it's
a pursuit. I think we fall every now and again.
(06:42):
I think we're going to readjust there's some There's a
book that I read a little while ago, and it
was talking about when we sent a rocket to the Moon,
when we send the polar mission, and it was it
made this beautiful analogy because in the rocket, it was
(07:04):
heading towards the Moon, and it's like hundreds of thousands
of kilometers away, and you're essentially firing like a pin
towards a basketball. It's that kind of scale, if not more.
But this rocket was changing direction. You know, it was
adjusting direction every couple of seconds because you have to
(07:27):
and the smallest error can make you miss the moon.
But it was saying that our life is like that
as well. It can have this target that you're aiming for,
but you're constantly adjusting direction to make sure that you're
heading in the right direction. I think life is like
that too. You know, everything every day is about being
conscious about the decisions and the small things that we do,
(07:50):
so we're heading in the right direction broadly. And I
think when we talk about what is in more Christianity,
you're living a good life. It's the same way, do
you reckon we.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Can we create the life we want? Or do you
reckon we learn to surrender to what we shouldn't be chasing.
Its probably a poorly formed question, but hopefully you understand it.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
I I work as a doctor, so poorly formed. Is
is a town that we apply to other things as well?
So how's your pooh being? Is it well formed?
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Oh? What a path we followed from Buddhism to yes analysis.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
No, yeah, it's we have a very comfortable life. I
feel in Australia at least, I know people go through hardship.
I know people face poverty, that there are all sorts
of challenges that Australian face. But compare to other parts
(09:07):
of the world, to say, even Sri Lanka, where people struggle,
I think we have a pretty comfortable life and therefore
a bit more agency than fellow human beings to follow
the path to a life that we want. So I
think we make choices every day. I think I don't
(09:33):
think we're all on it equal footing to start that
journey to the life that we want. But at the
end of the day, the only thing sometimes we have
left other choices that we make and even if it's
from the very basic begin We've all seen stories of
people who have gone up to the life they want
from nothing. Right, there's I know single moms that have
(09:56):
started their business while raising a couple of kids and
have done incredible things. I know. I've got colleagues who
have gone to medical school against all odds, Like I
know people who have done all these things in history.
So I think that there is the possibility, and I
think that's a beautiful thing about life. There's hope and
possibility no matter how dark the day is. Sometimes so
(10:21):
there is the potential to shape the life that we want,
but it may take some of us a longer journey
and a bit more work by by virtue of circumstances.
I was just with a friend earlier and we were
reflecting on the world is full of temptations, I suppose to,
(10:50):
whether it be whether it be to the food that
we eat, to the cook Wait, let's stop put out cookies.
This is I refuse to get into cookie bashing here,
(11:11):
or the media that we consume, or even that there
are all those things that are very easy to get
into habits that may not be conducive to a good
life for us. So Yeah, maybe we do chase the
wrong things sometimes, or maybe I've been guilty of this actually,
(11:34):
Like when I was in my late teens early twenties,
I was all about the wrong stuff. I was all
about materialism or even you know, I think even chasing
girls and whatever that might be. Like, like, I think
(11:54):
all of that can spiral out of out of control.
So it is easy. So I've actually really come to
learn that life's about discipline, about how you choose to
be disciplined, about giving up the comforts and giving up
(12:16):
what's easy now for what you want later. I think
that's really important when it comes to all of this stuff.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Did you is that something that changed for you when
you had your accident?
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Is that?
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Is that something that hardship made you reflect on or
was it something that naturally evolved?
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Yeah, it's it's something that hardship. I mean, life changed
so drastically after I have that accident, when I became paralyzed.
It's such a vastly different life. And things are a
lot harder now. I mean hard is a relative term.
(13:00):
Likes things are different now. So I don't just get
up out of bed and you know, jump back into
the world. Takes a bit of time to have a
shower and to get dressed, and to go about all
these life things and a plan a lot of things,
even basic bodily functions are a different now. Life is
(13:26):
definitely a bit more different and a bit more complex,
I guess.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
And.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
I think by virtue of being still a lot more
and by virtue of having to consider what I do
with my day a bit more and prioritizing things a
bit more, I think that's given me the discipline to
maybe really really focus on the important things and let
(13:56):
go of the other stuff, and to be disciplined about
small like It's not it's not easy to like, I
don't drink, smoke or anything like that. I don't go
to a strip club. I don't do any of those things. Right,
But if I didn't have this final cord injury back
when I was before that accident happened, it's very easy
(14:19):
to just get up and go to a club with friends.
It's very easy to get up and go out with
friends at night and do whatever and party. It was
very easy to if for go message me and said
come over, yeah, sure, in my car and go. And
but you don't like I don't do that anymore because
(14:41):
now it's more a choice based on my values. But
initially when that accident happened, it was out of necessity
to choose things. So I think it really has forced
me to become a bit better in choices that I make.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Is it in a way? Does that make it a
real positive in some areas of your life? Like it
sounds really cliche to say that, but I feel like
we can have so much so and I'm always ebbing
and flowing in my own situation going like you don't
sometimes you just don't appreciate how blessed your life is.
(15:22):
What are you complaining about? Like you have not you
have not seen hardship, Like you have everything. You have
a roof, you have animals, you have friends, you have
every like you really have everything. And sometimes in my
own mind, I can lack the gratitude for that and
complaining about the life that I built like someone is
(15:43):
forcing me to live it.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Yeah, totally, totally. I'm so grateful for life every single day.
I think a part of that is just having perspective
of So I went back to Sri Lanka after I
had this accident, and I went to visit place where
they look after people it's spinal cord injuries there, and
the doctor told me that most of these people will
(16:07):
go home and die within a couple of months because
they don't they can't afford wheelchairs or catheters, or they
go back to their villagers and they don't have the
medical care or the social care that we have in
this And then over the years I've read stories about
people it's spinal cord injuries that are stuck in Ukraine
(16:31):
for example, when the bonds are falling around them, or
they might be stuck in Gaza for example. So I
think about these things and I'm like, man, you know
there are people like me in those places and the
situations so much worse. Whereas I get to get up today,
(16:52):
I get to talk about cookies with Tiff. You're welcome,
and that's a pretty good life. Like honestly, right, I
think many of those people would do anything to have
the life that I do. And spinal cord injury is
interesting too, because you can have a spinal cord injury
(17:15):
at different levels, so it can mine. I broke my
neck but at the lower part of my neck, but
there are guys who have broken their neck at the
higher parts of their neck who can't move their arms
like I do. And then people who broken in a
lower parts of their spine where they might have a
bit more control of their fingers and trunk. And so
(17:39):
I often speak to friends who might have broken their
neck high and they're like, well, I always think if
I could just move my arms, then my life would
be so different. And then I think, oh, what if
I could use my fingers, then my life will be
a bit different. And there's someone who's got a lower injury,
they'd be like, oh, what if I could walk, then
that would be different. So when you lose these different
(18:02):
aspects of your body, like just a bit more always
makes a huge difference. And I think spinal cord injury
teaches that it's all relative. I often think, at least
I can move my arms right now, and that means
I can keep myself worst case scenario right. I can
(18:23):
use my hands to keep myself entertained with the iPad,
and that makes a big difference in life I can.
So it's all relative, I think. And I've just learned
to be grateful for the things that I have, not
to be sad about the things that I don't have.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
What was the immediate emotional response or psychological response to
learning that you had this disability.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
I was conscious the whole time when I had the
car accident, and when the car the car rolled and
then it stopped, and I was paralyzed, like I was
awake at the time of it, paralyzed, and I was
twenty five years old. I cannot put it into words
(19:13):
what that feels like. I cannot I can't begin to describe.
I've never been able to put it into words because
I was horrified, I was sick, and I was scared.
I was sad.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
I was.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Shocked because like, imagine, right, you're walking one minute and
then the next minute you're paralyzed. Can you use your
fingers one minute and the next minute you can't? Could
fill your body one minute and the next minute you can't,
And like there's that immediate shock, then there's all the
thoughts that go through your head about, oh man, like
(19:54):
can I go back to medical school. Can I hang
out with my family like I used to? Can I
like I used to always love being, you know, outdoors,
like at all. Even when I was at home in
my apartment, I'd never sleep in the bed, I'd sleep
on the cards, I'd sleep on the floor. Like it's
always a bit restless physically, and so you just think
(20:18):
about all those things, and it was it was a rollercoaster.
It was hard.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Yeah, do you still do you have sensation in your
lower body?
Speaker 3 (20:30):
So initially it felt like it was just cut off.
It felt like I didn't have a body, and that
was so weird, especially when I was trying to sleep
in the hospital and nice you like, I just didn't
feel my body. And not feeling the body is just
such a an odd thing because you just feel like
you're falling kind of. I don't know. Oh yeah, but
(20:52):
now I can feel like it's diffuse, it's not normal.
Some parts I still can't feel, but then there are
other bits and I can feel. It feels like kind
of numb, feel my boat.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Okay, that's great. Can you feel restless? Because it can?
Can you feel restless? Is that not a sensation that
you get now? No, I don't think.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
I feel like it's not restless, but like, sometimes I
just feel weird.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
It's hard to me too, mate.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
I'm gonna have a cookie, you know. It's interesting too
on that and speaking of cookies, so one of the
I've always loved food, and after this final cord injury,
because you're not using any muscles, right, all I use
is like the biceps and a bit of the arms.
(21:49):
So the calorie requirement, yeah, it just plummets. There was
a bit of time where I just put one twenty kilos.
And the other part of that is because I was
talking to a doctor about this a little while ago,
(22:10):
my own doctors, and I was like, man, I'm putting
on a bunch away and he said to me, no,
it's really common because you try to find sensory experiences.
It's and it's true, right, Suddenly I can't It's not
like I'm going to the beach and feeling the sand
beneath my toes or even intimacy. Right, It's not like
(22:38):
what it was. And so people tend to rely on
food a bit more. And I think I'm the same
because it's the one thing where you're just like, oh
my god, this tastes so good, but you just can't
eat as much because you just put on weight. So
I really had to watch what I eat to manage
the weight.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Well, I don't know if this applies to you, but
I'm sure would to some paraplet I'm gonna have heaps
of questions, weird ones, because that's how I think. But
can you feel hung if you don't have sensations in
your body? Can you feel hunger because that's a sensation
in your body?
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Right, Yeah, I think I feel I do feel, I
do feel hunger. I think initially it was a bit different, like, oh, sorry,
if I put this on silent, might have to edit
that out.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
I got in here a thing, so.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Say that again. Initially I didn't really feel hungry, but
it came back after, you know, a few weeks. But
I do feel hungry these days. Yeah, maybe sometimes a
bit too much.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
When you so you're already studying medical school, did it
change like what do you? I assume it changed the
direction you went with your interest in medicine. What were
you initially interested in and did it change your direction?
Listen to me just making assumptions.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
I was always interesting in like working in the emergency department,
or like I love medicine because it's it's just about
people and so, and I wanted to do a general
range of things, so I still work in an emergency department.
(24:37):
It didn't really change that direction. I thought it did,
and I thought it would have changed things. But I've
been able to do the I've been able to follow
the general same direction. But you know what the interesting
thing is, actually, I think it's opened up so many
more possibilities because you're kind of forced to think cly
(25:00):
and a bit more broadly. So for me, I've just
thought a bit more widely about what I can do.
So I do medicine because I love it so much,
and I love the patience and I love the people.
But at the same time, these days, I get to
do a variety of work in different things, which is
so rewarding and fun.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
That's the advocacy work, is that, right? What else do
you do?
Speaker 3 (25:25):
And research? So right now I'm at our office at
Griffith University, right next to our research lab, so we're
doing some research with spina corn injury here. So there
are all those things that I never imagine I'd ever do.
(25:45):
Here we are. So I think sometimes these turning points
open up the world a bit.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Did you were you hesitant as to whether or not
you would get blocked at any point from following the
path of medicine?
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Yeah? Oh yeah. There was certainly many attitudinal barriers along
the way that was more early in the career and
it's become far less now. And to actually go back
to your earlier question, you know, well, it's actually life
(26:28):
and the career is not what I imagined at all.
It's actually way better.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
In what way? Tell me?
Speaker 3 (26:35):
I mean, I die didn't like I am privileged, Like
even this chat, right, even even talking to you today,
Like it's so cool. I think it's I'm here and
I just think, how cool is it that someone would
want to talk about this journey and about cookietes.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
I think this might be my favorite chat.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
So I think I think, yeah, it's actually a lot
better than I have imagined.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
It's really interesting.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
You know.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
I had this sense as soon as you jumped on
and we started chatting, and like I have a lot
of conversations with people who have been through stuff. It's like,
hence the name of the show. I don't follow it
strictly because you know, obviously sometimes I just want to
work aokies. But you have this sense about you where
I was like, you don't feel defined by this, and
(27:35):
it's almost like, oh, we're even going to talk about that.
Like there's just something about your energy and your insights
that as soon as we got into conversation, it almost
didn't feel relevant interesting to me.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
Yeah, but I think we try to, especially in twenty
twenty five, we try to define ourselves with so many things.
I think, Ah, but those I wonder if those labels
matter as much as who we are and how we
(28:12):
live and what we try, the things that we try
to live by. I don't know. I think we're just
going to try and me good human beings. Like I mean,
with you, I just know that you're tiff, right, and
that's and I think that's really what matters the most
at the end of the day. Yeah, So I don't know.
I again, there is no eye and maybe maybe that's
(28:39):
a part of it.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Are you challenged by how people perceive when they meet you.
Are you challenged by people's perception of wanting to label
or put you in a in an identity box, because
I mean, I think that I am questioned. That's what
I'm It's the first thing I address when I run
(29:01):
coaching programs. It's the first thing I address when I speak.
It's like our idea of understanding who am I is
so fractured and so hard to answer that it's it's
just such a rabbit hole. And I imagine when you have
when you have a profile and you and a big
part of your identity is what has happened to you,
(29:23):
and then on top of that what you have gone
and done and achieved and who you've become another label,
the doctor, the medical guy, the advocate, that all of
these things, people would layer that onto you as soon
as they meet you. How do you manage that? You know?
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Tif you're right? And I do say this all the time.
I am sick of getting by on my looks and
I want to be seen for more than that.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
It's fun. You are the best fun. I knew I
should have sent that message back to you earlier, when
you were running frightfullyla, I'm going to tell the audience
Denish was running ridiculously late, very tardy, showing up half
an hour late for this interview, by the way, and
(30:23):
was giving me updates along the way. I'm just getting
to to the office. And then he sent one that
said just jumping out of a car, and I went to
right back, Well, now I know you're lying. And then
I was like, if you haven't met him yet, you've
got away. You got to see what his sense of
humor is.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
Like, I am known for being late.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Unfortunately, you're forgiven. You're definitely forgiven. Anyway, answer back to
answering the question that I interrupted you from.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
No, no, no, it's a great quick yeah. Again, I
don't know, Like I sometimes I wonder if we mirror
the own stuff that we have in our heads, right,
So I try not to think about that when I
meet people, and I just give everyone the benefit of
(31:13):
doubt and treat every encounter as a clean slate. And
I yeah, so I don't really mind what people have,
what kind of preconceptions that people have, or what kind
(31:36):
of labels they might have. I just try to treat everyone, yeah,
like with respect and dignity and with friendship and then
see where it goes from there rather than anything else. Yeah,
(31:57):
I don't know. I don't know if that's a good answer,
But I think it's a real privilege that anyone of
you will want to talk to me. Yeah, that's the
way I approach it, Like, I think it's a I
think I'm grateful that I get to meet people. I'm
grateful that I get to interact with people. I'm grateful
(32:20):
that someone who want to say hello, and so That's
the frame I approach things with.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
When people walk away from you, what do you want
them to take? Like if you haven't, is there a
particular impact or shift that you want to see as
a result of interacting with people.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
Yeah, people might walk away from me, but I never
walk away from them. But I actually, you know, the
thing that I quote so frequently is something that my
mom loves, and that is to help one person may
(33:10):
not change the world, but it will change the world
for them. And the couple other things along that same
line is that people may not remember what we do
for them, but they will always remember how we make
them feel. And it's always not about the big things, right.
I think the most memorable moments that we have sometimes
(33:33):
in our memory about human interactions is about the small
things that someone has done for us, or the all
acts of kindness or the small bits of generous and
see some of the best womens that I've had in
my life, you know. Is just as an example, when
I was a medical student, I used to study till
(33:57):
really late, like because I wanted to do well, and
so I was there at the medical school at this
desk till like eleven twelve am. Some days, and the
dean of the medical school was an amazing person who
was very senior. He had this incredible career, he'd done
(34:19):
so much, and he used to be there till late
as well, sometimes till ten to eleven at night. But
every time when he left, he'd spend five minutes talking
to me and just saying, you know, how's life, how's
the study, how's everything going, And then he'd share with
me a couple of stories about his time as a
(34:40):
medical student. But it wasn't much right, and it was
just five minutes. It's just a simple active kindness, and
that stayed with me and it gave me the strength
to go on for a bit longer and to study
for a bit longer, and it judge me. So I
(35:00):
think if that is the impression that someone has when
walking away from me, or rolling away from me, whatever,
swimming away from me, flying me, then then I think
(35:22):
that's that would be awesome, And that's what I hope
so good.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
Who inspires you like who, whether it be books or
people or mentors or just personal friends, family, who has
who's been kind of the people that have influenced you
positively the most?
Speaker 3 (35:44):
Easily? My mom, like my mom. She took us out
out up out of Sri Lanka when there was a war.
She started a new life for us here in Australia.
She's always fought for me. She's always giving me everything.
She's always made sure that I was safe and educated
(36:05):
and fed, and you know, and she's still there today
when I'm at the age of forty one. She's one
of the strongest women that I know. She perseveres, she's
just an incredible human being. So I don't have to
look too far to see a hero in my life.
It's my mom. And I think she has opened my
(36:29):
eyes to what moms all around the world do for
their kids. So my mom is my biggest hero. But
I think moms are generally big heroes as well. So yeah,
I think she's been the biggest influence. But I try to.
(36:52):
I think becoming better is a lifelong journey. I don't
think we'll ever be perfect, but we can aim for
that trying to. So every night I will read at
least five pages of a book. So, which is cool, right,
because if you do that every day of the year,
you read over fifteen hundred pages of books. And I
(37:15):
think books are such a incredible repository of knowledge, and
author Ryan Holiday says that it's like a conversation with
some of the greatest people who have ever lived. So
I tried to read as well and to learn. And
if I pick up like one small thing a day
(37:35):
or even a week, that's a win.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
That is exact reason I got obsessed with podcasting. I
started in twenty twenty and after three months of like,
there was at one stage I was doing five episodes
a week, and I was like just obsessed, because your
world changes, just like reading books. Like you once you
have learned something that changes how you view the world,
(38:03):
and it's just I just become obsessed with it. I
love it. What are your What are some of your
favorite books?
Speaker 3 (38:10):
I love the series of books actually by Ryan Holiday.
So he's written this series. One's called Ego is the Enemy.
The other one's called Discipline is Destiny. So he's written
this series of books based around the foundation of Stoicism,
but there are other What I love is that he
(38:32):
draws all these examples of great people in history. So
I think those have been probably some of the most
impactful books for me.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
I read Ego is the Enemy last year. I love
when I say I read it. I've got the audiobook
and if I really love a book by the physical
book as well. I did that with that book. It
is brilliant, so good.
Speaker 3 (38:56):
Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
It's yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:59):
But there's a whole series if you want to check
out the rest.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
And I'm writing that down. I'm on a mission. Now.
You want to write any books? Have you written any books?
Speaker 3 (39:14):
I have written a book.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
Yeah, I should know that about your book.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
So again like a wild thing, right, like you never
expect to write a book in my life. But it
came about with probably some of the key people in
that journey is a friend of mine or a few
friends who said you should write a book. And I
was like, man, I don't know, Like you know, you
(39:43):
try to be like I want to be humble. I'm like,
who want to read a book about me? And then
so one day I got the opportunity to go to
San Francisco to do a talk at Stanford Universey. And
this was somewhat early in the journey, and I was like, oh,
(40:06):
flying is a bit complex with a spinal cord injury.
So I was like, I don't know, maybe l see
if I can do it virtually or something like that,
but my mom, and my mom was always like, you're
gonna go, We'll go, We'll figure it out, gotta go there.
And I went to San Francisco and then I met
a friend who's now a friend. His name is Jeremy Howick,
(40:30):
an author, and we became friends after then he said, dude,
you should write a book. I'm an author. I can
tell you how to put together like a structure and
all this stuff. And I did eventually. And then later
someone give me a call when she was doing research
for her own book. And her name is Jamila Risby.
(40:52):
She's an author in Melbourne and a journalist and she's amazing.
So then I said, oh, hey, I know I've been
having these conversations about writing a book myself. What do
you thinking? So she introduced me to some publishers and
then it just came about about like that. So yeah,
(41:12):
it's funny, right, like life is sliding doors kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
What was the process of how long did it take
you to write and what was the process of that
like for you?
Speaker 3 (41:24):
So I had a bunch of months to write it,
But I did that when I was a junior doctor
and working and doing or doing all of these things.
So I kept chipping away at it like a little bit.
But then it was like four weeks away, I'm like, oh,
I've got to get really get onto this. And then
three weeks away, I'm like, oh my god, I got
(41:45):
to write this. So the deadline was creeping up. So
I for those last three weeks I wrote most of it,
like of it, Oh my god. I just used to
go to work, then go to my office and then
just stamp some days till the sun came came up,
and that's how I did it. But it was cool,
(42:06):
like it's quite easy to write about yourself in a way.
The thing along writing is like you're right, oh my god,
I can't believe that happened. I just and then you
remember like this thing that happened, and you're like, wow,
I can't believe that happened. I can't believe that happened.
And then you I felt like I've lived several lifetimes.
(42:29):
You know, I'm forty one now, but I was like, damn,
I feel like I've lived like one hundred years of life.
And then you just try to draw some meaning with
the things. So I wanted to call it unparalyzed because
I feel like in a way I've become unparalyzed in
my life. But publisher said, maybe that's a bit too complex,
(42:53):
so they wanted to call it Stronger, which is what
the book is now called. And again Jeremy introduced me
to another friend who mutual friend now who has been
working on turning it into a TV series, which should
be cool. That is amazing.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
Yeah, when's is when's that gonna happen?
Speaker 3 (43:18):
Oh that's a pretty long process. Yeah, it's been going
for a while, so let's see. But hopefully in the
next couple of years if I'll all go as well.
So still pieces that need to fall into place.
Speaker 2 (43:33):
That is amazing. And what are you What is your
part in the process of two like do you are
you playing a part in doing that or are they
Is it in their hands?
Speaker 3 (43:44):
It's gonna be mostly in their hands because I feel
like you've got to let creative people be creative as well. Yeah,
I don't want to interfere too much, but I'll give
input as necessary.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
Yeah, that's what's the most What is the most memorable
or brilliant thing you've done outside of work, outside of
that other stuff? Like, what is the stuff that you
love to do.
Speaker 3 (44:12):
Just live life. Hey, Like I think not to be
formulaic about it and to try new things and to
take new opportunities. Like the world is so big and
there's so much stuff going on, and Richard Branson had
this idea that we should say yes to everything and
(44:33):
figure out how to do it later. Yeah. So if
someone says, do you want to try this, and I'll say, yeah, sure,
and then I'll figure out how to do it. And
for example, like I a friend of mine launched this
accessible clothing line and I got to model it at
Australian fashion weeg.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
Yeah, so you're a runway model as well. Bloody held
in ash and.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
I've skydived, a bungee jumped. I've just done all these
random things and it's cool because it just makes life
so rich right way. Yeah, there's so much to do
in this world, there's so much to try. So I
just want to have an open mind and to find
(45:24):
do new things. M M.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
I love that it's so easy to get stuck just
in the minutia, just in the like how fast life
ends up going and we just get on that, get
on the wheel and you know, and next minute it's
five years later.
Speaker 3 (45:43):
But the problem is, I think the pitfall is that
we'll say we'll do something next year. We might say
we'll do something thereafter. We might say to do something
in five years or ten years. But you know, it
was twenty five when I became paralyzed, and uh, it
(46:04):
just reminded me, and I'm reminded every day when I'm
at work in the hospital as well, that there is
a day when tomorrow doesn't come. There's no time to wait.
There's an urgency about life and how much of it
do we want to spend in that mynu share? Like
(46:24):
you said, Tiff, like, how much do we want to
spend like about worrying about the small things and the
unnecessary things. It's because we do hope, we just get
caught in that will and it's so easy.
Speaker 2 (46:41):
That's what I think. That's that's a beautiful thing to
I mean, with the work that you do, that that
constant reminder. Do some people get almost immune to singing
it and thinking that way? Though? If that's where you work,
does that just become the minutia? Do you still to
work on that?
Speaker 3 (47:05):
Oh? Yeah, I think it's a reminder every day. I
think you still want to remind yourself every day because
that's the way society is structured.
Speaker 4 (47:12):
In a way, we sort of live these lives where
I mean we do think about the traffic or the
groceries or the like.
Speaker 3 (47:24):
Those are the things that take up time, right. I
saw this video clip the other day and it was
a guy saying, you know what, if I'm at a
restaurant and I order a medium rare steak and then
the way to make a mistake and brings out a
well done chicken, I just eat it because is that
(47:44):
actually going to be the biggest problem of my day?
And if someone cuts me off in the traffic and
they get angry and yell, I think, man, say the
biggest problem that you have today? Like, you know, so
what is? Like what do we want to actually spend
time getting frustrated by or focusing on. They also say
(48:06):
that the measure of a person can be gauged by
the thing that upsets them the most, which I like, Yeah,
so what do we choose? Do we know? I think
we just again, it's a it's an effort every day,
and we're going to adjust those little sales all the time. Yeah,
(48:26):
We're just going to make conscious decisions I think to
choose what we focus on.
Speaker 2 (48:32):
Yeah, I was on the public holiday. Hear the Melbourne
Cup day. I decided that that was going to be
my errand running day spontaneously, which was a really bad
idea because every errand I went to run, I would
turn up and be like, oh it's closed. Oh it's closed.
But I had to go and get some antibiotics, so
I had to go down to a doctor's. So I
booked a doctor's appointment, dropped in and I was like,
(48:53):
all right, we're going to be here for an hour
waiting for disappointment, so leave an hour before your next appointment.
And they took every minute of that hour. And I
went in and I go all right, just here, you
just need this. Thanks, And the lady doctor, who I
hadn't seen before, she's like, thank you for being so nice,
and I like, Denisa, I wasn't. I didn't go out
(49:14):
of my way to be nice. I just I just
wasn't an asshole. And I thought to myself, I'm like, well, mate,
you're here on a public holiday. I booked this appointment
this morning. Like I'm kind of grateful you're here, Like
there's no need for me not to be nice. But
it just it just highlighted the few instances of that
recently where I was like, it's bad when people are
(49:37):
thanking me for being nice when I'm actually I'm really
not being nice. I'm just not being nasty. Like that's
the world we live in now. We've got signs up
at reception telling people that you know, shit behavior is
not okay. It's like we should know shit behavior is
not okay.
Speaker 3 (49:57):
It's just basic civility, isn't it again? Yeah, I'll wonder
that all the time, Like, I think we've got to
be polite and kind and be civil to each other.
I wonder, I wonder where we're going along with that.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
I think we're primed. I think we're primed that everything
happens in an instant and we're busy all the time,
and everything's a bother, you know it. I think it
just happens under the surface for us, and then we
become reactive. It's like checking social media thirty eight thousand
times a day and you don't realize you're doing it,
(50:40):
Tiffany Cook, You're just doing it while you're doing other things,
you know, and then you get a nap on your phone.
It tells you how many times you open the app
and you're like, oh, dear, I didn't realize I was
doing that. I think it's the same with those parts
of our behavior, our distraction, our ability to get out
of Like I the last couple of years have worked
very hard. I'm being conscious of being out of my
(51:03):
head when I'm in the room with people. Like I
work at a gym as well, So at one point
I realized, I go in and I'm coming off a
podcast and I've got appointments in the afternoon. I've gone
in and I've got a client, and i walk through
the gym and I'm probably making it contact with people,
but I'm visualizing and thinking and planning and doing things
in my head. And I caught myself doing that a
(51:25):
few times and going like, no, I've just been in
the room, mate, Like these people are these are faces
that are familiar to you that you're not interacting with,
and they probably think you're an asshole because they're looking
and they probably smile, but you don't actually see it
because you're busy in your head. Like I become so
aware of that, and now I try to be conscious
of it and not do that. But I didn't choose
(51:47):
to do it. It was just something I noticed happening.
Speaker 3 (51:51):
Yeah, being present, right, I think being present? Yeah, yeah,
it is a it is something to work work on,
I think every day. And you're right, like the social
media where at a when it uber eats social media,
(52:12):
that kind of world where we can have everything at
our fingertips, and perhaps we're a bit impatient. Yeah, we're
not quite present, funnily enough.
Speaker 2 (52:24):
Yeah, yeah, you've been aced to chat to I could
chat to you for hours. Do you want to tell
people where they can find you or follow you or
buy your book or anything that you would like to promote.
Speaker 3 (52:40):
I hate promoting myself, so.
Speaker 2 (52:42):
Well you're going to have to do it right now.
But look, you don't have a choice.
Speaker 3 (52:48):
If you want to connect, just reach out on Instagram
or LinkedIn, look me up and we always love to
say hello and chat. But I'm super grateful tif for
the opportunity to connect with you today and talk cookies.
Speaker 2 (53:06):
I'm super grateful. And if you do come to Melbourne
reach out, I will buy you a cookie. That is
a promise. It will change your life.
Speaker 3 (53:14):
Wait, okay, thank you. Be honest with you here though,
I I hate Melbourne.
Speaker 2 (53:23):
Boom there it is all right. If I come to
the Gold Coast again, I will bring a cookie up.
Speaker 3 (53:31):
Great, No, I will. I mean I do get to Melbourne.
Speaker 2 (53:34):
Just what do you hate about it?
Speaker 3 (53:37):
I think it's the weather.
Speaker 2 (53:38):
Me too, me too. I'm with you.
Speaker 3 (53:41):
It's like I was there a couple of weeks and
I'm like, wait, sunny, awesome when it's windy. Wait that
was only an hour ago. Now it's raining, and why
is God anyway?
Speaker 2 (53:52):
Well, in Melbourne's defense, when I got off the plane
at Brisbane Airport last week, it was bucketing down and
I had wet socks and shoese by the time I
got to the terminal and was told that the day
before it was forty one degrees. So that is that
is not just universal to Melbourne, it is you got me. Yeah,
(54:12):
thank you very much, thank you, check mate, check mate,
thank you. You are awesome. I'm going to have links
to your website and everything that. Do you have a website?
Speaker 3 (54:28):
I do?
Speaker 4 (54:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (54:29):
Did you say that? See I'm not listening skills. They'd
switched off soon she talked about cookies. I'll have the
link to your website in the show notes and everyone
will go and buy a copy of your book for
their Christmas presents. Thanks for the chat.
Speaker 3 (54:43):
Mate, Thank you, it's been amazing New Rock.
Speaker 2 (54:48):
Thanks everyone.
Speaker 1 (54:51):
She said, it's now never I got fighting in my blood.
Speaker 4 (55:00):
Gotta true at the coast, Gotta true you Gast, Gotta
Speaker 3 (55:06):
Te at of cost Gara true
She said, it's now never I got fighting in my blood.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I'm tiff. This is Roll with the Punches and we're
turning life's hardest hits into wins. Nobody wants to go
to court, and don't. My friends are test Art Family Lawyers.
Know that they offer all forms of alternative dispute resolution.
Their team of Melbourne family lawyers have extensive experience in
(00:29):
all areas of family law to facto and same sex couples,
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reach out to Mark and the team at www dot
test Artfamilylawyers dot com dot au. Denish Pelapana, welcome to
(00:53):
Roll with the Punches.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Thank you, thanks for having me. It's such a good name.
It's up, it's perfect.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
It's what we do. It's what we do. You've been
Rolling with the Punches to get here on time, and
it took me a swift thirty eight seconds to start
banging on about these cookies I now have an absolute
obsession with, so hopefully you're going to come down to
Melbourne and try a cookie soon.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
I love cookies. Cookies are so good.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Oh mate, these ones are These ones are next level,
next level and they're definitely, you know, Australian of the
Year worthy. So if anyone could try them, you definitely
could thank you.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Kowksa. Are they like? What manner of cookie are there?
Is it chopped chip? Is it? What's the story?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
My all time favorite is pistachio crunch. Okay, so it's
a big cookie. It's got chop chips in it, and
then in the middle, it's got this pistachio cream, which
it also has on top, and it's got whatever that
crispy stuff in that Jubai chocolate that everyone raves about
(02:00):
that I don't really like, but there's this crispy stuff.
So it's got this crispy crunchy text. It's like a
party in your mouth. It is amazing. And you heat
the mark fifteen seconds in the microwave. I'm telling you
it'll change your life.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
There is a there is a small hiccup because I
have scilliact disease, So I wonder if that gluten for you.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
She definitely she does, because I said I was away
for three days and I have notes in my for
my pet sitter. I have notes to say that the
cookie shop is worth a visit. And I know that
they were gluten free and they went three days in
a row, so just saying they're pretty good. And the
lady who owns the cookie shop and makes the cookies,
(02:39):
she is a Type one diabetic, so she is all
over nutritional requirements.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Okay, and welcome everyone to Rolling with the Cookie.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
This is how we go here on this show. I mean,
you and your life is spectacular, but let's hit the
big things first and talk about cookies.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Important thing. The cookie is a foundation to everything. I think.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I think they are. I actually think they are. I
think and I my nickname sometimes is Cookie because Tiffany Cook,
so I feel like it is it's my path to
lead people to the cookies.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Yeah, I've been led to the cookie today, so thank you.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Anyway, Let's talk about you, because you're far You actually
are far more amazing and far more accomplished. How do
you how do you describe yourself?
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Watching number one? Because you're kind of a few things.
You're you're an advocate, You're you're a medical doctor, you're
a researcher, you're a whole. But you're Australian of the Year.
I think I mentioned that what's your number one? You know?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
So I spent the first ten years of my life
in Sri Lankan, and Sri Lanka is it's got so
many different cultures within it. So they're Buddhist people, there
are Christian people, there are Hindu people, they are Muslim people.
And my mum was Catholic and my dad was Buddhist.
(04:09):
So I learned a bit about Buddhism when I was
growing up. And one of the things that you learn
in Buddhism, I suppose, is that there is no eye really,
so so I don't know if I am anything, and
I try not to hang onto those things. But I
(04:33):
try to think about things that I want to live by,
and I suppose I just want to be trying to
I just want to be a good person every day.
I want to try and plant some trees on this
earth that will bear fruit for future generations. I want
to be a good person to my neighbor and our
(04:56):
fellow human being. I want to be a person of integrity.
And so I suppose there are things that I try
to be every day, but I don't think i'm anything otherwise.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Nice answer, Nice answer, all right? In a in our lives,
not just yours. I guess everyone is that are these
days very busy and very distracted. What is your practice?
Do you practice Buddhism or do you have a practice
to hold on to being grounded and holding those views.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I don't like I take lessons from everything. I mean,
I've had conversations with people from all kinds of faiths
over the years. So I've had conversations with Buddhists and
Christians and Muslims and Hindus, and I think there are
a lot of good common threads that are out of
all of these things. I heard this idea not too
(05:57):
long ago that it's one thing to say be ritualistic
about a lot of the religions that we have, but
actually it's just about practicing the right things every day,
you know. And they have five precepts in Christianity, they
have ten commandments. But I think all of those things,
actually it is just a good foundation for life. So
(06:20):
if you follow those things, I think you end up
having a good life and do good things for the world.
So I don't think there's a particular practice, but I
just try to follow these values that all of these
things teach to try and be good I think it's
a pursuit. I think we fall every now and again.
(06:42):
I think we're going to readjust there's some There's a
book that I read a little while ago, and it
was talking about when we sent a rocket to the Moon,
when we send the polar mission, and it was it
made this beautiful analogy because in the rocket, it was
(07:04):
heading towards the Moon, and it's like hundreds of thousands
of kilometers away, and you're essentially firing like a pin
towards a basketball. It's that kind of scale, if not more.
But this rocket was changing direction. You know, it was
adjusting direction every couple of seconds because you have to
(07:27):
and the smallest error can make you miss the moon.
But it was saying that our life is like that
as well. It can have this target that you're aiming for,
but you're constantly adjusting direction to make sure that you're
heading in the right direction. I think life is like
that too. You know, everything every day is about being
conscious about the decisions and the small things that we do,
(07:50):
so we're heading in the right direction broadly. And I
think when we talk about what is in more Christianity,
you're living a good life. It's the same way, do
you reckon we.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Can we create the life we want? Or do you
reckon we learn to surrender to what we shouldn't be chasing.
Its probably a poorly formed question, but hopefully you understand it.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
I I work as a doctor, so poorly formed. Is
is a town that we apply to other things as well?
So how's your pooh being? Is it well formed?
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Oh? What a path we followed from Buddhism to yes analysis.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
No, yeah, it's we have a very comfortable life. I
feel in Australia at least, I know people go through hardship.
I know people face poverty, that there are all sorts
of challenges that Australian face. But compare to other parts
(09:07):
of the world, to say, even Sri Lanka, where people struggle,
I think we have a pretty comfortable life and therefore
a bit more agency than fellow human beings to follow
the path to a life that we want. So I
think we make choices every day. I think I don't
(09:33):
think we're all on it equal footing to start that
journey to the life that we want. But at the
end of the day, the only thing sometimes we have
left other choices that we make and even if it's
from the very basic begin We've all seen stories of
people who have gone up to the life they want
from nothing. Right, there's I know single moms that have
(09:56):
started their business while raising a couple of kids and
have done incredible things. I know. I've got colleagues who
have gone to medical school against all odds, Like I
know people who have done all these things in history.
So I think that there is the possibility, and I
think that's a beautiful thing about life. There's hope and
possibility no matter how dark the day is. Sometimes so
(10:21):
there is the potential to shape the life that we want,
but it may take some of us a longer journey
and a bit more work by by virtue of circumstances.
I was just with a friend earlier and we were
reflecting on the world is full of temptations, I suppose to,
(10:50):
whether it be whether it be to the food that
we eat, to the cook Wait, let's stop put out cookies.
This is I refuse to get into cookie bashing here,
(11:11):
or the media that we consume, or even that there
are all those things that are very easy to get
into habits that may not be conducive to a good
life for us. So Yeah, maybe we do chase the
wrong things sometimes, or maybe I've been guilty of this actually,
(11:34):
Like when I was in my late teens early twenties,
I was all about the wrong stuff. I was all
about materialism or even you know, I think even chasing
girls and whatever that might be. Like, like, I think
(11:54):
all of that can spiral out of out of control.
So it is easy. So I've actually really come to
learn that life's about discipline, about how you choose to
be disciplined, about giving up the comforts and giving up
(12:16):
what's easy now for what you want later. I think
that's really important when it comes to all of this stuff.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Did you is that something that changed for you when
you had your accident?
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Is that?
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Is that something that hardship made you reflect on or
was it something that naturally evolved?
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Yeah, it's it's something that hardship. I mean, life changed
so drastically after I have that accident, when I became paralyzed.
It's such a vastly different life. And things are a
lot harder now. I mean hard is a relative term.
(13:00):
Likes things are different now. So I don't just get
up out of bed and you know, jump back into
the world. Takes a bit of time to have a
shower and to get dressed, and to go about all
these life things and a plan a lot of things,
even basic bodily functions are a different now. Life is
(13:26):
definitely a bit more different and a bit more complex,
I guess.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
And.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
I think by virtue of being still a lot more
and by virtue of having to consider what I do
with my day a bit more and prioritizing things a
bit more, I think that's given me the discipline to
maybe really really focus on the important things and let
(13:56):
go of the other stuff, and to be disciplined about
small like It's not it's not easy to like, I
don't drink, smoke or anything like that. I don't go
to a strip club. I don't do any of those things. Right,
But if I didn't have this final cord injury back
when I was before that accident happened, it's very easy
(14:19):
to just get up and go to a club with friends.
It's very easy to get up and go out with
friends at night and do whatever and party. It was
very easy to if for go message me and said
come over, yeah, sure, in my car and go. And
but you don't like I don't do that anymore because
(14:41):
now it's more a choice based on my values. But
initially when that accident happened, it was out of necessity
to choose things. So I think it really has forced
me to become a bit better in choices that I make.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Is it in a way? Does that make it a
real positive in some areas of your life? Like it
sounds really cliche to say that, but I feel like
we can have so much so and I'm always ebbing
and flowing in my own situation going like you don't
sometimes you just don't appreciate how blessed your life is.
(15:22):
What are you complaining about? Like you have not you
have not seen hardship, Like you have everything. You have
a roof, you have animals, you have friends, you have
every like you really have everything. And sometimes in my
own mind, I can lack the gratitude for that and
complaining about the life that I built like someone is
(15:43):
forcing me to live it.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Yeah, totally, totally. I'm so grateful for life every single day.
I think a part of that is just having perspective
of So I went back to Sri Lanka after I
had this accident, and I went to visit place where
they look after people it's spinal cord injuries there, and
the doctor told me that most of these people will
(16:07):
go home and die within a couple of months because
they don't they can't afford wheelchairs or catheters, or they
go back to their villagers and they don't have the
medical care or the social care that we have in
this And then over the years I've read stories about
people it's spinal cord injuries that are stuck in Ukraine
(16:31):
for example, when the bonds are falling around them, or
they might be stuck in Gaza for example. So I
think about these things and I'm like, man, you know
there are people like me in those places and the
situations so much worse. Whereas I get to get up today,
(16:52):
I get to talk about cookies with Tiff. You're welcome,
and that's a pretty good life. Like honestly, right, I
think many of those people would do anything to have
the life that I do. And spinal cord injury is
interesting too, because you can have a spinal cord injury
(17:15):
at different levels, so it can mine. I broke my
neck but at the lower part of my neck, but
there are guys who have broken their neck at the
higher parts of their neck who can't move their arms
like I do. And then people who broken in a
lower parts of their spine where they might have a
bit more control of their fingers and trunk. And so
(17:39):
I often speak to friends who might have broken their
neck high and they're like, well, I always think if
I could just move my arms, then my life would
be so different. And then I think, oh, what if
I could use my fingers, then my life will be
a bit different. And there's someone who's got a lower injury,
they'd be like, oh, what if I could walk, then
that would be different. So when you lose these different
(18:02):
aspects of your body, like just a bit more always
makes a huge difference. And I think spinal cord injury
teaches that it's all relative. I often think, at least
I can move my arms right now, and that means
I can keep myself worst case scenario right. I can
(18:23):
use my hands to keep myself entertained with the iPad,
and that makes a big difference in life I can.
So it's all relative, I think. And I've just learned
to be grateful for the things that I have, not
to be sad about the things that I don't have.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
What was the immediate emotional response or psychological response to
learning that you had this disability.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
I was conscious the whole time when I had the
car accident, and when the car the car rolled and
then it stopped, and I was paralyzed, like I was
awake at the time of it, paralyzed, and I was
twenty five years old. I cannot put it into words
(19:13):
what that feels like. I cannot I can't begin to describe.
I've never been able to put it into words because
I was horrified, I was sick, and I was scared.
I was sad.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
I was.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Shocked because like, imagine, right, you're walking one minute and
then the next minute you're paralyzed. Can you use your
fingers one minute and the next minute you can't? Could
fill your body one minute and the next minute you can't,
And like there's that immediate shock, then there's all the
thoughts that go through your head about, oh man, like
(19:54):
can I go back to medical school. Can I hang
out with my family like I used to? Can I
like I used to always love being, you know, outdoors,
like at all. Even when I was at home in
my apartment, I'd never sleep in the bed, I'd sleep
on the cards, I'd sleep on the floor. Like it's
always a bit restless physically, and so you just think
(20:18):
about all those things, and it was it was a rollercoaster.
It was hard.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Yeah, do you still do you have sensation in your
lower body?
Speaker 3 (20:30):
So initially it felt like it was just cut off.
It felt like I didn't have a body, and that
was so weird, especially when I was trying to sleep
in the hospital and nice you like, I just didn't
feel my body. And not feeling the body is just
such a an odd thing because you just feel like
you're falling kind of. I don't know. Oh yeah, but
(20:52):
now I can feel like it's diffuse, it's not normal.
Some parts I still can't feel, but then there are
other bits and I can feel. It feels like kind
of numb, feel my boat.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Okay, that's great. Can you feel restless? Because it can?
Can you feel restless? Is that not a sensation that
you get now? No, I don't think.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
I feel like it's not restless, but like, sometimes I
just feel weird.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
It's hard to me too, mate.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
I'm gonna have a cookie, you know. It's interesting too
on that and speaking of cookies, so one of the
I've always loved food, and after this final cord injury,
because you're not using any muscles, right, all I use
is like the biceps and a bit of the arms.
(21:49):
So the calorie requirement, yeah, it just plummets. There was
a bit of time where I just put one twenty kilos.
And the other part of that is because I was
talking to a doctor about this a little while ago,
(22:10):
my own doctors, and I was like, man, I'm putting
on a bunch away and he said to me, no,
it's really common because you try to find sensory experiences.
It's and it's true, right, Suddenly I can't It's not
like I'm going to the beach and feeling the sand
beneath my toes or even intimacy. Right, It's not like
(22:38):
what it was. And so people tend to rely on
food a bit more. And I think I'm the same
because it's the one thing where you're just like, oh
my god, this tastes so good, but you just can't
eat as much because you just put on weight. So
I really had to watch what I eat to manage
the weight.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Well, I don't know if this applies to you, but
I'm sure would to some paraplet I'm gonna have heaps
of questions, weird ones, because that's how I think. But
can you feel hung if you don't have sensations in
your body? Can you feel hunger because that's a sensation
in your body?
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Right, Yeah, I think I feel I do feel, I
do feel hunger. I think initially it was a bit different, like, oh, sorry,
if I put this on silent, might have to edit
that out.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
I got in here a thing, so.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Say that again. Initially I didn't really feel hungry, but
it came back after, you know, a few weeks. But
I do feel hungry these days. Yeah, maybe sometimes a
bit too much.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
When you so you're already studying medical school, did it
change like what do you? I assume it changed the
direction you went with your interest in medicine. What were
you initially interested in and did it change your direction?
Listen to me just making assumptions.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
I was always interesting in like working in the emergency department,
or like I love medicine because it's it's just about
people and so, and I wanted to do a general
range of things, so I still work in an emergency department.
(24:37):
It didn't really change that direction. I thought it did,
and I thought it would have changed things. But I've
been able to do the I've been able to follow
the general same direction. But you know what the interesting
thing is, actually, I think it's opened up so many
more possibilities because you're kind of forced to think cly
(25:00):
and a bit more broadly. So for me, I've just
thought a bit more widely about what I can do.
So I do medicine because I love it so much,
and I love the patience and I love the people.
But at the same time, these days, I get to
do a variety of work in different things, which is
so rewarding and fun.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
That's the advocacy work, is that, right? What else do
you do?
Speaker 3 (25:25):
And research? So right now I'm at our office at
Griffith University, right next to our research lab, so we're
doing some research with spina corn injury here. So there
are all those things that I never imagine I'd ever do.
(25:45):
Here we are. So I think sometimes these turning points
open up the world a bit.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Did you were you hesitant as to whether or not
you would get blocked at any point from following the
path of medicine?
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Yeah? Oh yeah. There was certainly many attitudinal barriers along
the way that was more early in the career and
it's become far less now. And to actually go back
to your earlier question, you know, well, it's actually life
(26:28):
and the career is not what I imagined at all.
It's actually way better.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
In what way? Tell me?
Speaker 3 (26:35):
I mean, I die didn't like I am privileged, Like
even this chat, right, even even talking to you today,
Like it's so cool. I think it's I'm here and
I just think, how cool is it that someone would
want to talk about this journey and about cookietes.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
I think this might be my favorite chat.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
So I think I think, yeah, it's actually a lot
better than I have imagined.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
It's really interesting.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
You know.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
I had this sense as soon as you jumped on
and we started chatting, and like I have a lot
of conversations with people who have been through stuff. It's like,
hence the name of the show. I don't follow it
strictly because you know, obviously sometimes I just want to
work aokies. But you have this sense about you where
I was like, you don't feel defined by this, and
(27:35):
it's almost like, oh, we're even going to talk about that.
Like there's just something about your energy and your insights
that as soon as we got into conversation, it almost
didn't feel relevant interesting to me.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
Yeah, but I think we try to, especially in twenty
twenty five, we try to define ourselves with so many things.
I think, Ah, but those I wonder if those labels
matter as much as who we are and how we
(28:12):
live and what we try, the things that we try
to live by. I don't know. I think we're just
going to try and me good human beings. Like I mean,
with you, I just know that you're tiff, right, and
that's and I think that's really what matters the most
at the end of the day. Yeah, So I don't know.
I again, there is no eye and maybe maybe that's
(28:39):
a part of it.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Are you challenged by how people perceive when they meet you.
Are you challenged by people's perception of wanting to label
or put you in a in an identity box, because
I mean, I think that I am questioned. That's what
I'm It's the first thing I address when I run
(29:01):
coaching programs. It's the first thing I address when I speak.
It's like our idea of understanding who am I is
so fractured and so hard to answer that it's it's
just such a rabbit hole. And I imagine when you have
when you have a profile and you and a big
part of your identity is what has happened to you,
(29:23):
and then on top of that what you have gone
and done and achieved and who you've become another label,
the doctor, the medical guy, the advocate, that all of
these things, people would layer that onto you as soon
as they meet you. How do you manage that? You know?
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Tif you're right? And I do say this all the time.
I am sick of getting by on my looks and
I want to be seen for more than that.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
It's fun. You are the best fun. I knew I
should have sent that message back to you earlier, when
you were running frightfullyla, I'm going to tell the audience
Denish was running ridiculously late, very tardy, showing up half
an hour late for this interview, by the way, and
(30:23):
was giving me updates along the way. I'm just getting
to to the office. And then he sent one that
said just jumping out of a car, and I went to
right back, Well, now I know you're lying. And then
I was like, if you haven't met him yet, you've
got away. You got to see what his sense of
humor is.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
Like, I am known for being late.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Unfortunately, you're forgiven. You're definitely forgiven. Anyway, answer back to
answering the question that I interrupted you from.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
No, no, no, it's a great quick yeah. Again, I
don't know, Like I sometimes I wonder if we mirror
the own stuff that we have in our heads, right,
So I try not to think about that when I
meet people, and I just give everyone the benefit of
(31:13):
doubt and treat every encounter as a clean slate. And
I yeah, so I don't really mind what people have,
what kind of preconceptions that people have, or what kind
(31:36):
of labels they might have. I just try to treat everyone, yeah,
like with respect and dignity and with friendship and then
see where it goes from there rather than anything else. Yeah,
(31:57):
I don't know. I don't know if that's a good answer,
But I think it's a real privilege that anyone of
you will want to talk to me. Yeah, that's the
way I approach it, Like, I think it's a I
think I'm grateful that I get to meet people. I'm
grateful that I get to interact with people. I'm grateful
(32:20):
that someone who want to say hello, and so That's
the frame I approach things with.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
When people walk away from you, what do you want
them to take? Like if you haven't, is there a
particular impact or shift that you want to see as
a result of interacting with people.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
Yeah, people might walk away from me, but I never
walk away from them. But I actually, you know, the
thing that I quote so frequently is something that my
mom loves, and that is to help one person may
(33:10):
not change the world, but it will change the world
for them. And the couple other things along that same
line is that people may not remember what we do
for them, but they will always remember how we make
them feel. And it's always not about the big things, right.
I think the most memorable moments that we have sometimes
(33:33):
in our memory about human interactions is about the small
things that someone has done for us, or the all
acts of kindness or the small bits of generous and
see some of the best womens that I've had in
my life, you know. Is just as an example, when
I was a medical student, I used to study till
(33:57):
really late, like because I wanted to do well, and
so I was there at the medical school at this
desk till like eleven twelve am. Some days, and the
dean of the medical school was an amazing person who
was very senior. He had this incredible career, he'd done
(34:19):
so much, and he used to be there till late
as well, sometimes till ten to eleven at night. But
every time when he left, he'd spend five minutes talking
to me and just saying, you know, how's life, how's
the study, how's everything going, And then he'd share with
me a couple of stories about his time as a
(34:40):
medical student. But it wasn't much right, and it was
just five minutes. It's just a simple active kindness, and
that stayed with me and it gave me the strength
to go on for a bit longer and to study
for a bit longer, and it judge me. So I
(35:00):
think if that is the impression that someone has when
walking away from me, or rolling away from me, whatever,
swimming away from me, flying me, then then I think
(35:22):
that's that would be awesome, And that's what I hope
so good.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
Who inspires you like who, whether it be books or
people or mentors or just personal friends, family, who has
who's been kind of the people that have influenced you
positively the most?
Speaker 3 (35:44):
Easily? My mom, like my mom. She took us out
out up out of Sri Lanka when there was a war.
She started a new life for us here in Australia.
She's always fought for me. She's always giving me everything.
She's always made sure that I was safe and educated
(36:05):
and fed, and you know, and she's still there today
when I'm at the age of forty one. She's one
of the strongest women that I know. She perseveres, she's
just an incredible human being. So I don't have to
look too far to see a hero in my life.
It's my mom. And I think she has opened my
(36:29):
eyes to what moms all around the world do for
their kids. So my mom is my biggest hero. But
I think moms are generally big heroes as well. So yeah,
I think she's been the biggest influence. But I try to.
(36:52):
I think becoming better is a lifelong journey. I don't
think we'll ever be perfect, but we can aim for
that trying to. So every night I will read at
least five pages of a book. So, which is cool, right,
because if you do that every day of the year,
you read over fifteen hundred pages of books. And I
(37:15):
think books are such a incredible repository of knowledge, and
author Ryan Holiday says that it's like a conversation with
some of the greatest people who have ever lived. So
I tried to read as well and to learn. And
if I pick up like one small thing a day
(37:35):
or even a week, that's a win.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
That is exact reason I got obsessed with podcasting. I
started in twenty twenty and after three months of like,
there was at one stage I was doing five episodes
a week, and I was like just obsessed, because your
world changes, just like reading books. Like you once you
have learned something that changes how you view the world,
(38:03):
and it's just I just become obsessed with it. I
love it. What are your What are some of your
favorite books?
Speaker 3 (38:10):
I love the series of books actually by Ryan Holiday.
So he's written this series. One's called Ego is the Enemy.
The other one's called Discipline is Destiny. So he's written
this series of books based around the foundation of Stoicism,
but there are other What I love is that he
(38:32):
draws all these examples of great people in history. So
I think those have been probably some of the most
impactful books for me.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
I read Ego is the Enemy last year. I love
when I say I read it. I've got the audiobook
and if I really love a book by the physical
book as well. I did that with that book. It
is brilliant, so good.
Speaker 3 (38:56):
Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
It's yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:59):
But there's a whole series if you want to check
out the rest.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
And I'm writing that down. I'm on a mission. Now.
You want to write any books? Have you written any books?
Speaker 3 (39:14):
I have written a book.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
Yeah, I should know that about your book.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
So again like a wild thing, right, like you never
expect to write a book in my life. But it
came about with probably some of the key people in
that journey is a friend of mine or a few
friends who said you should write a book. And I
was like, man, I don't know, Like you know, you
(39:43):
try to be like I want to be humble. I'm like,
who want to read a book about me? And then
so one day I got the opportunity to go to
San Francisco to do a talk at Stanford Universey. And
this was somewhat early in the journey, and I was like, oh,
(40:06):
flying is a bit complex with a spinal cord injury.
So I was like, I don't know, maybe l see
if I can do it virtually or something like that,
but my mom, and my mom was always like, you're
gonna go, We'll go, We'll figure it out, gotta go there.
And I went to San Francisco and then I met
a friend who's now a friend. His name is Jeremy Howick,
(40:30):
an author, and we became friends after then he said, dude,
you should write a book. I'm an author. I can
tell you how to put together like a structure and
all this stuff. And I did eventually. And then later
someone give me a call when she was doing research
for her own book. And her name is Jamila Risby.
(40:52):
She's an author in Melbourne and a journalist and she's amazing.
So then I said, oh, hey, I know I've been
having these conversations about writing a book myself. What do
you thinking? So she introduced me to some publishers and
then it just came about about like that. So yeah,
(41:12):
it's funny, right, like life is sliding doors kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
What was the process of how long did it take
you to write and what was the process of that
like for you?
Speaker 3 (41:24):
So I had a bunch of months to write it,
But I did that when I was a junior doctor
and working and doing or doing all of these things.
So I kept chipping away at it like a little bit.
But then it was like four weeks away, I'm like, oh,
I've got to get really get onto this. And then
three weeks away, I'm like, oh my god, I got
(41:45):
to write this. So the deadline was creeping up. So
I for those last three weeks I wrote most of it,
like of it, Oh my god. I just used to
go to work, then go to my office and then
just stamp some days till the sun came came up,
and that's how I did it. But it was cool,
(42:06):
like it's quite easy to write about yourself in a way.
The thing along writing is like you're right, oh my god,
I can't believe that happened. I just and then you
remember like this thing that happened, and you're like, wow,
I can't believe that happened. I can't believe that happened.
And then you I felt like I've lived several lifetimes.
(42:29):
You know, I'm forty one now, but I was like, damn,
I feel like I've lived like one hundred years of life.
And then you just try to draw some meaning with
the things. So I wanted to call it unparalyzed because
I feel like in a way I've become unparalyzed in
my life. But publisher said, maybe that's a bit too complex,
(42:53):
so they wanted to call it Stronger, which is what
the book is now called. And again Jeremy introduced me
to another friend who mutual friend now who has been
working on turning it into a TV series, which should
be cool. That is amazing.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
Yeah, when's is when's that gonna happen?
Speaker 3 (43:18):
Oh that's a pretty long process. Yeah, it's been going
for a while, so let's see. But hopefully in the
next couple of years if I'll all go as well.
So still pieces that need to fall into place.
Speaker 2 (43:33):
That is amazing. And what are you What is your
part in the process of two like do you are
you playing a part in doing that or are they
Is it in their hands?
Speaker 3 (43:44):
It's gonna be mostly in their hands because I feel
like you've got to let creative people be creative as well. Yeah,
I don't want to interfere too much, but I'll give
input as necessary.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
Yeah, that's what's the most What is the most memorable
or brilliant thing you've done outside of work, outside of
that other stuff? Like, what is the stuff that you
love to do.
Speaker 3 (44:12):
Just live life. Hey, Like I think not to be
formulaic about it and to try new things and to
take new opportunities. Like the world is so big and
there's so much stuff going on, and Richard Branson had
this idea that we should say yes to everything and
(44:33):
figure out how to do it later. Yeah. So if
someone says, do you want to try this, and I'll say, yeah, sure,
and then I'll figure out how to do it. And
for example, like I a friend of mine launched this
accessible clothing line and I got to model it at
Australian fashion weeg.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
Yeah, so you're a runway model as well. Bloody held
in ash and.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
I've skydived, a bungee jumped. I've just done all these
random things and it's cool because it just makes life
so rich right way. Yeah, there's so much to do
in this world, there's so much to try. So I
just want to have an open mind and to find
(45:24):
do new things. M M.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
I love that it's so easy to get stuck just
in the minutia, just in the like how fast life
ends up going and we just get on that, get
on the wheel and you know, and next minute it's
five years later.
Speaker 3 (45:43):
But the problem is, I think the pitfall is that
we'll say we'll do something next year. We might say
we'll do something thereafter. We might say to do something
in five years or ten years. But you know, it
was twenty five when I became paralyzed, and uh, it
(46:04):
just reminded me, and I'm reminded every day when I'm
at work in the hospital as well, that there is
a day when tomorrow doesn't come. There's no time to wait.
There's an urgency about life and how much of it
do we want to spend in that mynu share? Like
(46:24):
you said, Tiff, like, how much do we want to
spend like about worrying about the small things and the
unnecessary things. It's because we do hope, we just get
caught in that will and it's so easy.
Speaker 2 (46:41):
That's what I think. That's that's a beautiful thing to
I mean, with the work that you do, that that
constant reminder. Do some people get almost immune to singing
it and thinking that way? Though? If that's where you work,
does that just become the minutia? Do you still to
work on that?
Speaker 3 (47:05):
Oh? Yeah, I think it's a reminder every day. I
think you still want to remind yourself every day because
that's the way society is structured.
Speaker 4 (47:12):
In a way, we sort of live these lives where
I mean we do think about the traffic or the
groceries or the like.
Speaker 3 (47:24):
Those are the things that take up time, right. I
saw this video clip the other day and it was
a guy saying, you know what, if I'm at a
restaurant and I order a medium rare steak and then
the way to make a mistake and brings out a
well done chicken, I just eat it because is that
(47:44):
actually going to be the biggest problem of my day?
And if someone cuts me off in the traffic and
they get angry and yell, I think, man, say the
biggest problem that you have today? Like, you know, so
what is? Like what do we want to actually spend
time getting frustrated by or focusing on. They also say
(48:06):
that the measure of a person can be gauged by
the thing that upsets them the most, which I like, Yeah,
so what do we choose? Do we know? I think
we just again, it's a it's an effort every day,
and we're going to adjust those little sales all the time. Yeah,
(48:26):
We're just going to make conscious decisions I think to
choose what we focus on.
Speaker 2 (48:32):
Yeah, I was on the public holiday. Hear the Melbourne
Cup day. I decided that that was going to be
my errand running day spontaneously, which was a really bad
idea because every errand I went to run, I would
turn up and be like, oh it's closed. Oh it's closed.
But I had to go and get some antibiotics, so
I had to go down to a doctor's. So I
booked a doctor's appointment, dropped in and I was like,
(48:53):
all right, we're going to be here for an hour
waiting for disappointment, so leave an hour before your next appointment.
And they took every minute of that hour. And I
went in and I go all right, just here, you
just need this. Thanks, And the lady doctor, who I
hadn't seen before, she's like, thank you for being so nice,
and I like, Denisa, I wasn't. I didn't go out
(49:14):
of my way to be nice. I just I just
wasn't an asshole. And I thought to myself, I'm like, well, mate,
you're here on a public holiday. I booked this appointment
this morning. Like I'm kind of grateful you're here, Like
there's no need for me not to be nice. But
it just it just highlighted the few instances of that
recently where I was like, it's bad when people are
(49:37):
thanking me for being nice when I'm actually I'm really
not being nice. I'm just not being nasty. Like that's
the world we live in now. We've got signs up
at reception telling people that you know, shit behavior is
not okay. It's like we should know shit behavior is
not okay.
Speaker 3 (49:57):
It's just basic civility, isn't it again? Yeah, I'll wonder
that all the time, Like, I think we've got to
be polite and kind and be civil to each other.
I wonder, I wonder where we're going along with that.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
I think we're primed. I think we're primed that everything
happens in an instant and we're busy all the time,
and everything's a bother, you know it. I think it
just happens under the surface for us, and then we
become reactive. It's like checking social media thirty eight thousand
times a day and you don't realize you're doing it,
(50:40):
Tiffany Cook, You're just doing it while you're doing other things,
you know, and then you get a nap on your phone.
It tells you how many times you open the app
and you're like, oh, dear, I didn't realize I was
doing that. I think it's the same with those parts
of our behavior, our distraction, our ability to get out
of Like I the last couple of years have worked
very hard. I'm being conscious of being out of my
(51:03):
head when I'm in the room with people. Like I
work at a gym as well, So at one point
I realized, I go in and I'm coming off a
podcast and I've got appointments in the afternoon. I've gone
in and I've got a client, and i walk through
the gym and I'm probably making it contact with people,
but I'm visualizing and thinking and planning and doing things
in my head. And I caught myself doing that a
(51:25):
few times and going like, no, I've just been in
the room, mate, Like these people are these are faces
that are familiar to you that you're not interacting with,
and they probably think you're an asshole because they're looking
and they probably smile, but you don't actually see it
because you're busy in your head. Like I become so
aware of that, and now I try to be conscious
of it and not do that. But I didn't choose
(51:47):
to do it. It was just something I noticed happening.
Speaker 3 (51:51):
Yeah, being present, right, I think being present? Yeah, yeah,
it is a it is something to work work on,
I think every day. And you're right, like the social
media where at a when it uber eats social media,
(52:12):
that kind of world where we can have everything at
our fingertips, and perhaps we're a bit impatient. Yeah, we're
not quite present, funnily enough.
Speaker 2 (52:24):
Yeah, yeah, you've been aced to chat to I could
chat to you for hours. Do you want to tell
people where they can find you or follow you or
buy your book or anything that you would like to promote.
Speaker 3 (52:40):
I hate promoting myself, so.
Speaker 2 (52:42):
Well you're going to have to do it right now.
But look, you don't have a choice.
Speaker 3 (52:48):
If you want to connect, just reach out on Instagram
or LinkedIn, look me up and we always love to
say hello and chat. But I'm super grateful tif for
the opportunity to connect with you today and talk cookies.
Speaker 2 (53:06):
I'm super grateful. And if you do come to Melbourne
reach out, I will buy you a cookie. That is
a promise. It will change your life.
Speaker 3 (53:14):
Wait, okay, thank you. Be honest with you here though,
I I hate Melbourne.
Speaker 2 (53:23):
Boom there it is all right. If I come to
the Gold Coast again, I will bring a cookie up.
Speaker 3 (53:31):
Great, No, I will. I mean I do get to Melbourne.
Speaker 2 (53:34):
Just what do you hate about it?
Speaker 3 (53:37):
I think it's the weather.
Speaker 2 (53:38):
Me too, me too. I'm with you.
Speaker 3 (53:41):
It's like I was there a couple of weeks and
I'm like, wait, sunny, awesome when it's windy. Wait that
was only an hour ago. Now it's raining, and why
is God anyway?
Speaker 2 (53:52):
Well, in Melbourne's defense, when I got off the plane
at Brisbane Airport last week, it was bucketing down and
I had wet socks and shoese by the time I
got to the terminal and was told that the day
before it was forty one degrees. So that is that
is not just universal to Melbourne, it is you got me. Yeah,
(54:12):
thank you very much, thank you, check mate, check mate,
thank you. You are awesome. I'm going to have links
to your website and everything that. Do you have a website?
Speaker 3 (54:28):
I do?
Speaker 4 (54:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (54:29):
Did you say that? See I'm not listening skills. They'd
switched off soon she talked about cookies. I'll have the
link to your website in the show notes and everyone
will go and buy a copy of your book for
their Christmas presents. Thanks for the chat.
Speaker 3 (54:43):
Mate, Thank you, it's been amazing New Rock.
Speaker 2 (54:48):
Thanks everyone.
Speaker 1 (54:51):
She said, it's now never I got fighting in my blood.
Speaker 4 (55:00):
Gotta true at the coast, Gotta true you Gast, Gotta
Speaker 3 (55:06):
Te at of cost Gara true
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