April 22, 2025 • 27 mins
Jerry, an eleven-year-old boy on vacation with his widowed mother, becomes fascinated with a wild bay separate from the safe beach his mother prefers. When he discovers older local boys swimming through an underwater tunnel, he becomes determined to accomplish this challenging feat as his own private rite of passage.
• Jerry feels torn between staying with his protective mother and seeking independence
• He observes local boys swimming through an underwater tunnel and becomes fixated on matching this achievement
• Jerry trains relentlessly to hold his breath longer, practicing until his nose bleeds
• The tunnel becomes a symbolic challenge representing his transition toward maturity
• Despite fear and physical pain, Jerry successfully navigates the tunnel
• After his triumph, Jerry no longer needs external validation—his achievement is personal
• The story illustrates the delicate balance between maternal protection and a child's need for independence
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Are you tired?
You will be Through the Tunnelby Doris Lessing Going to the
shore.
On the first morning ofvacation, the young English boy
stopped at the turning of thepath and looked down at a wild
(00:28):
and rocky bay and then over tothe crowded beach he knew so
well from other years.
His mother walked on in frontof him, carrying a bright
striped bag in one hand.
Her other arm, swinging loose,was very wide in the sun.
The boy watched that whitenaked arm and turned his eyes,
(00:52):
which had a frown behind them,toward the bay and back again to
his mother.
When she felt he was not withher, she swung around.
When she felt it was not, hewas not with her, she swung
around.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Oh, there you are, jerry she said she looked
impatient and smiled.
Why, darling, would you rathernot come with me, would you
rather?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
She frowned conscientiously, worrying over
what amusements he mightsecretly be longing for, which
he had been too busy or toocareless to imagine.
He was very familiar with thatanxious, apologetic smile.
Contrition sent him runningafter her, and yet as he ran, he
(01:40):
looked back over his shoulderat the wild bay and all morning,
as he played on the safe beach,he was thinking of it.
Next morning, when it was timefor the routine of swimming and
sunbathing, his mother said Areyou tired of the usual?
(02:02):
beach.
Jerry, would you like to gosomewhere else?
Oh no, he said quickly, smilingat her, out of that unfailing
impulse of contrition, a sort ofchivalry.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Yet walking down the path with her, he blurted out
I'd like to go to school andhave a look at those rocks down
there.
I'd like to go and have a lookat those rocks down there.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
She gave the idea her attention.
It was a wild-looking place andthere was no one there, but she
said Of course, Jerry.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
When you have had enough, come to the big beach,
or else go straight back to thevilla, if you like.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
She walked away, that bare arm now slightly reddened
from yesterday's sun swinging,and he almost ran after her
again, feeling it unbearablethat she should go by herself.
But he did not.
She was thinking, of coursehe's old enough to be safe
without me.
Have I been keeping him tooclose?
(03:04):
She mustn't feel he ought to bewith me.
I must be careful.
He was an only child, 11 yearsold.
She was a widow.
She was determined to beneither possessive nor lacking
in devotion.
She went, worrying off to herbeach.
(03:25):
As for jerry, once he saw thathis mother had gained her beach,
he began the steep descent tothe bay, from where he was high
up among red, brown rocks.
It was a scoop of moving bluish, green fringed with white.
As he went lower he saw that itspread among small promontories
(03:50):
and inlets of rough, sharp rockand the crisping lapping showed
stains of purple, lapping,crisping, sharp lapping,
crisping sharp up inlets ofrough, sharp rock and the
(04:10):
crisping lapping surface, anedge of white surf and the
shallow, luminous movement ofwater over white sand and beyond
that, a solid, heavy blue.
(04:31):
He ran straight into the waterand began swimming.
He was a good swimmer.
He went out fast over thegleaming sand, over a middle
region where rocks laydiscolored monsters lay like
discolored monsters under thesurface.
And then he was in the real sea, a warm sea where irregular
(04:52):
cold currents from the deepwater shocked his limbs.
When he was so far out that hecould not look back, not only on
the little bay but past thepromontory that was between it
and the big beach, he floated onthe buoyant surface and looked
for his mother.
There she was, a speck ofyellow under an umbrella that
(05:16):
looked like a slice of orangepeel.
He swam back to shore, relievedat being sure she was there, but
all at once very lonely, on thesmall edge of a small, on the
edge of a small cape that markedthe side of the bay.
Away from the promontory was aloose scatter of rocks.
(05:36):
Above them some boys werestripping off their clothes.
They came running naked down tothe rocks.
The English boy swam towardthem but kept his distance at a
stone's throw.
They were of that coast.
All of them were burned, smooth,dark, brown and speaking a
language he did not understand.
(05:57):
To be with them of them was acraving that filled his whole
body.
He swam a little closer.
They turned and watched himwith narrowed, alert, dark eyes.
Then one smiled and waved itwas enough.
In a minute he had swum in andwas on the rocks beside them,
(06:21):
smiling with with a desperate,nervous supplication.
They shouted cheerful greetingsat him and then, as he
preserved his nervous,uncomprehending smile, they
understood that he was aforeigner strayed from his own
beach.
Then they proceeded to forgethim.
But he was happy he was withthem.
(06:42):
They began diving again andagain from a high point into a
well of blue sea between rough,pointed rocks.
After they had dived and comeup, they swam around, hauled
themselves up and waited theirturn to dive again.
They were big boys, men toJerry.
He dived and they watched him.
And when he swam around to takehis place they way for him, he
(07:16):
felt he was accepted and hedived again carefully, proud of
himself up.
The others stood about watchingJerry.
After waiting for the sleekbrown head to appear, let out a
yell of warning, they looked athim idly and turned their eyes
back toward the water.
After a long time the boy cameup on the other side of a big
(07:40):
dark rock, letting the air outof his lungs in a sputtering
gasp and shout of triumph.
Immediately the rest of themdived.
In One moment the morning seemedfull of chattering boys.
The next the air and thesurface of the water were empty.
(08:10):
But through the heavy, blue,dark shapes could be seen moving
and groping.
Jerry dived shot past theschool of underwater swimmers.
Jerry dived, shot past theschool of underwater swimmers,
saw a black wall of rock loomingat him.
Touched, it bobbed up at onceto the surface on the far side
of the barrier of rock and heunderstood that they had swum
through some sort, some gap orhole in it.
He plunged down again.
(08:31):
He could see nothing throughthe stinging salt water but the
blank rock.
When he came up, the boys wereall on the diving rock preparing
to attempt to feed again.
And now, in a panic of failure,he yelled up in English Look at
me, look look at me, look.
(08:55):
And he began splashing andkicking in the water like a
foolish dog.
They looked down gravelyfrowning.
He knew the frown At moments offailure when he clowned to
claim his mother's attention.
It was with just this grave,embarrassing inspection that she
rewarded him Through his hotshame, feeling the pleading grin
on his face like a scar that hecould never remove.
(09:17):
He looked up at the group ofbig brown boys on the rock and
shouted Bonjour, merci Au revoir, bonjour, bonjour.
While he looked at his fingersaround his ears, while he hooked
his fingers around his ears andwaggled them, water surged into
(09:38):
his mouth.
He choked, sank, came up.
The rock, lately weighted withboys, seemed to rear up out of
the water as their weight wasremoved.
They were flying down past himnow into the water.
The air was full of fallingbodies, then the rock was empty
in the hot sunlight.
He counted one, two, three.
(10:01):
At fifty he was terrified.
They must all be drowningbeneath him in the watery caves
of the rock.
At a hundred he stared aroundhim at the empty hillside,
wondering if he should yell forhelp.
He counted faster and faster tohurry them up, to bring them to
the surface quickly, to drownthem quickly.
(10:21):
Anything rather than the terrorof counting on and on into the
blue emptiness of the morning.
And then at 160, the waterbeyond the rock was full of boys
, blowing like brown whales.
They swam back to the shorewithout a look at him.
He climbed back to the divingrock and sat down, feeling the
(10:41):
hot roughness of it under histhighs.
The boys were gathering uptheir bits of clothing and
running off along the shore toanother, up their bits of
clothing and running off alongthe shore to another promontory.
They were leaving to get awayfrom him.
He cried openly, fists in hiseyes.
There was no one to see him andhe cried himself out.
(11:02):
It seemed to him that a longtime had passed and he swam out
to where he could see his mother.
Yes, she was still there, ayellow spot under an orange
umbrella.
He swam back to the big rock,climbed up and dived into the
blue pool among the fanged andangry boulders.
(11:23):
Down he went until he touchedthe wall of rock again, but the
salt was so painful in his eyesthat he could not see.
Touched the wall of rock again,but the salt was so painful in
his eyes that he could not see.
He came to the surface, swam toshore and went back to the
villa to wait for his motherSoon.
She walked slowly up the pass,swinging her striped bag, the
flushed naked arm danglingbeside her.
(11:44):
I want some swimming goggles,he said.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I want some swimming goggles.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
He panted defiant and beseeching.
She gave him a patient,inquisitive look, as she said
casually.
Well, of course darling, but now, now, now he must have them
this minute and no other time.
He nagged and pestered untilshe went with him to a shop.
(12:23):
As soon as she had bought thegoggles, he grabbed them from
her as if she were going toclaim them for herself, and was
off running down the steep pathto the bay.
Jerry swam out to the bigbarrier rock, adjusted the
goggles and dived.
The impact of the water brokethe rubber-enclosed vacuum and
the goggles came loose.
(12:44):
He understood that he must swimdown to the base of the rock.
From the surface of the waterhe fixed the goggles tight and
firm, filled his lungs andfloated face down on the water.
Now he could see.
It was as if he had eyes of adifferent kind, fish eyes that
showed everything clear anddelicate and wavering in the
(13:04):
bright water Under him.
Six or seven feet down was afloor of perfectly clean,
shining white sand, rippled firmand hard by the tides.
Two grayish shapes steeredthere like long rounded pieces
of wood or slate.
They were fish.
He saw them nose towards eachother, poised, motionless, and
(13:27):
dart forward, swerve off andcome around again.
It was like a water dance.
A few inches above them, thewater sparkled as a sequence
were dropping through it.
Fish again, myriads of minutefish the length of his
fingernail were drifting throughthe water and in a moment he
could feel the innumerable tinytouches of them against his
(13:49):
limbs.
It was like swimming in flakedsilver.
The great rock the big boys hadswum through rose sheer out of
the white sand, black, tuftedlightly with greenish weed.
He could see no gap in it.
He swam down to its base.
(14:14):
Again and again he rose, took abig chest full of air and went
down.
Again and again he groped overthe surface of the rock, feeling
it almost, hugging it, indesperate need to find the
entrance.
And then once, while he wasclinging to the black wall, his
knees came up and he shot hisfeet out forward and they met no
obstacle.
He had found, found the hole.
He gained the surface, clamberedabout the stones that littered
(14:37):
the barrier rock until he founda big one and, with his arms,
let himself down over the sideof the rock.
He dropped with the weightstraight to the sand beach,
sandy floor, clinging tight tothe anchor of stone.
He lay on his side and lookedunder the dark shelf at the
place where his feet had gone.
He could see the hole.
It was an irregular dark gap,but he could not see deep into
(15:02):
it.
He let go of his anchor, clungwith his hands to the edges of
the hole and tried to pushhimself in.
He got his head in, found hisshoulders jammed, moved them in
sideways and was inside as faras his wrist.
He could see nothing ahead.
Something soft and clammytouched his mouth.
He saw a dark frond movingagainst the grayish rock and
(15:25):
panic filled him.
He thought of octopuses, ofclinging weed.
He pushed himself out backwardand caught a glimpse, as he
retreated, of a harmlesstentacle of seaweed drifting in
the mouth of the tunnel.
But it was enough.
He reached the sunlight, swam toshore and lay on the diving
rock.
He looked down into the bluewell of water.
(15:48):
He knew he must find his waythrough that cave or hole or
tunnel and out the other side.
First, he thought he must learnto control his breathing, let
himself down into the water withanother big stone in his arm so
that he could lie effortlesslyon the bottom of the sea.
He counted one, two, three.
(16:08):
He counted steadily.
He could hear the movement ofblood in his chest 51, 52.
His chest was hurting.
He let go of the rock and wentup into the air.
He saw that the sun was low.
He rushed to the villa andfound his mother at her supper.
She said only did you enjoyyourself, did you enjoy yourself
(16:29):
?
And he said yes.
All night the boy dreamed of thewater-filled cave in the rock,
and as soon as breakfast wasover he went to the bay.
That night his nose bled badly.
(16:50):
For hours he had beenunderwater learning to hold his
breath.
Now he felt weak and dizzy.
His mother said I shouldn't.
Ah His mother said I shouldn'toverdo things, darling.
(17:14):
If I were you.
That day and the next, jerryexercised his lungs as if
everything, the whole of hislife, all that he would become,
depended on it.
Again, his nose bled at nightand his mother insisted on his
coming with her the next day.
It was a torment to him towaste a day of his careful
training, but he stayed with her.
(17:35):
On that other beach now seemed aplace for small children, a
place where his mother might liesafe in the sun.
It was not his beach.
He did not ask for permissionon the following day to go to
his beach.
He went before his mother couldconsider the complicated rights
and wrongs of the matter.
A day's rest, he discovered,had improved his count by ten.
(18:00):
The big boys had made thepassage while he counted a
hundred and sixty.
He had been counting fast in hisfright.
Probably now, if he tried, hetried, he could get through that
long tunnel.
But he was not going to try yet.
A curious, most unchildlikepersistence, a controlled
impatience, made him wait.
(18:20):
In the meantime he layunderwater on the white sand,
littered now by stones he hadbrought down from the upper air,
and studied the entrance to thetunnel.
He knew every jut and corner ofit, as far as it was possible
to see.
It was as if he had alreadyfelt its sharpness about his
(18:41):
shoulders.
He sat by the clock in thevilla when his mother was not
near and checked his time.
He was incredulous and thenproud to find he could hold his
breath without strain for twominutes.
The words two minutes,authorized by the clock, brought
him close to the adventure thatwas so necessary to him In
(19:03):
another four days.
His mother said casually onemorning they must go home On the
day before they left.
He would do it.
He would do it if it killed himand he said defiantly to
himself.
He said defiantly to himself.
But two days before they wereto leave, a day of triumph, when
(19:23):
he increased his count by 15,his nose bled so badly that he
turned dizzy and had to lielimply over the big rock like a
bit of seaweed, watching thethick red blood flow onto the
rock and trickle slowly down tothe sea.
He was frightened.
Supposing he turned dizzy inthe tunnel.
Supposing he died there trapped.
(19:45):
Supposing his head went aroundin the hot sun and he almost
gave up.
He thought he would return tothe house and lie down and next
summer perhaps, when he hadanother year's growth in him,
then he would go through thehole.
He was trembling with fear thathe would not go and he was
(20:26):
trembling with horror at thelong, long tunnel under the rock
.
He was trembling with fear thathe would not go Under the sea,
even in the open sunlight.
The barrier rock seemed verywide and very heavy.
Tons of rock pressed down onwhere he would go and if he died
there he would lie until oneday perhaps Not before next year
(20:46):
those big boys would swim intoit and find it blocked.
He put on his goggles, fittedthem tight, tested the vacuum.
His hands were shaking.
Then he chose the biggest stonehe could carry and slipped over
the edge of the rock until halfof him was in the cool and
closing water and half in thehot sun.
(21:08):
He looked up at the empty sky,filled his lungs once, twice and
then sank fast to the bottomwith the stone.
He let it go and began to count.
He took the edges of the holein his hands and drew himself
into it, wriggling his shouldersSidewise, as he remembered he
(21:30):
must, kicking himself along withhis feet.
Soon he was clear inside.
He was in a small rock-boundhole filled with yellowish-gray
water.
The water was pushing him upagainst the roof.
The roof was sharp and painedhis back.
He pulled himself along withhis hands fast, fast, and used
his legs as levers.
His head knocked againstsomething.
(21:51):
A sharp pain dizzied him.
His head knocked againstsomething.
A sharp pain dizzied him.
50, 51, 52.
He was without light and thewater seemed to press upon him
with the weight of rock.
71, 72.
There was no strain on hislungs.
He felt like an inflatedballoon.
(22:11):
His lungs were so light andeasy, but his head was pulsing.
He was being continuallypressed against the sharp roof,
which felt slimy as well assharp.
Again, he thought of octopusesand wondered if the tunnel might
be filled with weed that wouldtangle him.
He gave himself a panicky,convulsive kick forward, ducked
his head and swam.
His feet and hands moved freelyas if in open water.
(22:33):
The hole must have widened out.
He thought he must be swimmingfast and he was frightened of
banging his head if the tunnelnarrowed.
A hundred, a hundred and one.
The water paled.
Victory filled him.
His lungs were beginning tohurt.
A few more strokes and he wouldbe out.
(22:54):
He was counting wildly.
He said at 115, and then, a longtime later, 115 again.
The water was a clear jewelgreen around him.
Then he saw above his head acrack running up through the
rock.
Sunlight was falling through it, showing the clean, dark rock
of the tunnel, a single muscleshell, and darkness ahead.
(23:17):
He was at the end of what hecould do.
He looked up at the crack as ifit were filled with air and not
water, as if he could put hismouth to it to draw air.
115, heard himself say insidehis head, but he had said that
long ago.
He must go on into theblackness ahead or he would
(23:37):
drown.
His head was swelling, hislungs cracking.
115, 115 pounded through hishead and he feebly clutched at
rocks in the dark, pullinghimself forward and leaving the
brief space of sunlit waterbehind.
He felt he was dying.
He was no longer quiteconscious.
(23:59):
He struggled on in the darknessbetween lapses into
unconsciousness.
An immense swelling pain filledhis head and then the darkness
cracked with an explosion ofgreen light.
His hands groping forward meantnothing and his feet kicking
back propelled him out into theopen sea.
He drifted to the surface, hisface turned up to the air.
(24:22):
He was gasping like a fish.
He felt he was sink now anddrowned.
He could not swim the few feetback to the rock.
Then he was clutching it andpulling himself onto it.
He lay face down, gasping.
He could see nothing but ared-veined, clotted dark.
His eyes must have burst.
He thought they were full ofblood.
(24:43):
He tore off his goggles and agout of blood went into the sea.
His nose was bleeding and theblood had filled the goggles.
He scooped up handfuls of waterfrom the cool salty sea to
splash his face and did not knowwhether it was blood or salt
water he tasted.
After a time his heart quieted,his eyes cleared and he sat up.
(25:09):
He could see the local boysdiving and playing half a mile
away.
He could see the local boysdiving and playing half a mile
away.
He did not want them.
He wanted nothing but to getback home and lie down.
In a short while Jerry swam toshore and climbed slowly up the
path to the villa.
He flung himself on his bed andslept, waking at the sound of
(25:29):
feet on the path outside.
His mother was coming back.
He rushed to the bathroom,thinking she must not see his
face with bloodstains or tearstains on it.
He came out of the bathroom andmet her as she walked to the
villa, smiling.
Her eyes lit up.
Have a nice morning she said,laying her hands on his warm
brown shoulder a moment.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Oh yes, thank you.
You look pale a bit.
And then sharp and anxious howdid you bang your head?
Oh, I just banged it he toldher.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
She looked at him closely.
He was strained, his eyes wereglazed, looking she was worried.
Then she said to herself ohdon't fuss, nothing can happen,
he can swim like a fish.
They sat down to lunch together, mommy, he said.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
I can stay underwater for two minutes, three minutes
at least.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
It came bursting out of him.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Can you darling?
She said Well, I shouldn'toverdo it.
I don't think you ought to swimanymore today.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
She was ready for a battle of wills, but he gave in
at once.
It was no longer of the leastimportance to go to the bay.
You've been listening to RonReed's Boring Books Through the
Tunnel by Doris Lessing.
(27:01):
Thank you for listening.
Please like and share andsubscribe to this podcast.
Thank you.
Are you tired?
You will be Through the Tunnelby Doris Lessing Going to the
shore.
On the first morning ofvacation, the young English boy
stopped at the turning of thepath and looked down at a wild
(00:28):
and rocky bay and then over tothe crowded beach he knew so
well from other years.
His mother walked on in frontof him, carrying a bright
striped bag in one hand.
Her other arm, swinging loose,was very wide in the sun.
The boy watched that whitenaked arm and turned his eyes,
(00:52):
which had a frown behind them,toward the bay and back again to
his mother.
When she felt he was not withher, she swung around.
When she felt it was not, hewas not with her, she swung
around.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Oh, there you are, jerry she said she looked
impatient and smiled.
Why, darling, would you rathernot come with me, would you
rather?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
She frowned conscientiously, worrying over
what amusements he mightsecretly be longing for, which
he had been too busy or toocareless to imagine.
He was very familiar with thatanxious, apologetic smile.
Contrition sent him runningafter her, and yet as he ran, he
(01:40):
looked back over his shoulderat the wild bay and all morning,
as he played on the safe beach,he was thinking of it.
Next morning, when it was timefor the routine of swimming and
sunbathing, his mother said Areyou tired of the usual?
(02:02):
beach.
Jerry, would you like to gosomewhere else?
Oh no, he said quickly, smilingat her, out of that unfailing
impulse of contrition, a sort ofchivalry.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Yet walking down the path with her, he blurted out
I'd like to go to school andhave a look at those rocks down
there.
I'd like to go and have a lookat those rocks down there.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
She gave the idea her attention.
It was a wild-looking place andthere was no one there, but she
said Of course, Jerry.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
When you have had enough, come to the big beach,
or else go straight back to thevilla, if you like.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
She walked away, that bare arm now slightly reddened
from yesterday's sun swinging,and he almost ran after her
again, feeling it unbearablethat she should go by herself.
But he did not.
She was thinking, of coursehe's old enough to be safe
without me.
Have I been keeping him tooclose?
(03:04):
She mustn't feel he ought to bewith me.
I must be careful.
He was an only child, 11 yearsold.
She was a widow.
She was determined to beneither possessive nor lacking
in devotion.
She went, worrying off to herbeach.
(03:25):
As for jerry, once he saw thathis mother had gained her beach,
he began the steep descent tothe bay, from where he was high
up among red, brown rocks.
It was a scoop of moving bluish, green fringed with white.
As he went lower he saw that itspread among small promontories
(03:50):
and inlets of rough, sharp rockand the crisping lapping showed
stains of purple, lapping,crisping, sharp lapping,
crisping sharp up inlets ofrough, sharp rock and the
(04:10):
crisping lapping surface, anedge of white surf and the
shallow, luminous movement ofwater over white sand and beyond
that, a solid, heavy blue.
(04:31):
He ran straight into the waterand began swimming.
He was a good swimmer.
He went out fast over thegleaming sand, over a middle
region where rocks laydiscolored monsters lay like
discolored monsters under thesurface.
And then he was in the real sea, a warm sea where irregular
(04:52):
cold currents from the deepwater shocked his limbs.
When he was so far out that hecould not look back, not only on
the little bay but past thepromontory that was between it
and the big beach, he floated onthe buoyant surface and looked
for his mother.
There she was, a speck ofyellow under an umbrella that
(05:16):
looked like a slice of orangepeel.
He swam back to shore, relievedat being sure she was there, but
all at once very lonely, on thesmall edge of a small, on the
edge of a small cape that markedthe side of the bay.
Away from the promontory was aloose scatter of rocks.
(05:36):
Above them some boys werestripping off their clothes.
They came running naked down tothe rocks.
The English boy swam towardthem but kept his distance at a
stone's throw.
They were of that coast.
All of them were burned, smooth,dark, brown and speaking a
language he did not understand.
(05:57):
To be with them of them was acraving that filled his whole
body.
He swam a little closer.
They turned and watched himwith narrowed, alert, dark eyes.
Then one smiled and waved itwas enough.
In a minute he had swum in andwas on the rocks beside them,
(06:21):
smiling with with a desperate,nervous supplication.
They shouted cheerful greetingsat him and then, as he
preserved his nervous,uncomprehending smile, they
understood that he was aforeigner strayed from his own
beach.
Then they proceeded to forgethim.
But he was happy he was withthem.
(06:42):
They began diving again andagain from a high point into a
well of blue sea between rough,pointed rocks.
After they had dived and comeup, they swam around, hauled
themselves up and waited theirturn to dive again.
They were big boys, men toJerry.
He dived and they watched him.
And when he swam around to takehis place they way for him, he
(07:16):
felt he was accepted and hedived again carefully, proud of
himself up.
The others stood about watchingJerry.
After waiting for the sleekbrown head to appear, let out a
yell of warning, they looked athim idly and turned their eyes
back toward the water.
After a long time the boy cameup on the other side of a big
(07:40):
dark rock, letting the air outof his lungs in a sputtering
gasp and shout of triumph.
Immediately the rest of themdived.
In One moment the morning seemedfull of chattering boys.
The next the air and thesurface of the water were empty.
(08:10):
But through the heavy, blue,dark shapes could be seen moving
and groping.
Jerry dived shot past theschool of underwater swimmers.
Jerry dived, shot past theschool of underwater swimmers,
saw a black wall of rock loomingat him.
Touched, it bobbed up at onceto the surface on the far side
of the barrier of rock and heunderstood that they had swum
through some sort, some gap orhole in it.
He plunged down again.
(08:31):
He could see nothing throughthe stinging salt water but the
blank rock.
When he came up, the boys wereall on the diving rock preparing
to attempt to feed again.
And now, in a panic of failure,he yelled up in English Look at
me, look look at me, look.
(08:55):
And he began splashing andkicking in the water like a
foolish dog.
They looked down gravelyfrowning.
He knew the frown At moments offailure when he clowned to
claim his mother's attention.
It was with just this grave,embarrassing inspection that she
rewarded him Through his hotshame, feeling the pleading grin
on his face like a scar that hecould never remove.
(09:17):
He looked up at the group ofbig brown boys on the rock and
shouted Bonjour, merci Au revoir, bonjour, bonjour.
While he looked at his fingersaround his ears, while he hooked
his fingers around his ears andwaggled them, water surged into
(09:38):
his mouth.
He choked, sank, came up.
The rock, lately weighted withboys, seemed to rear up out of
the water as their weight wasremoved.
They were flying down past himnow into the water.
The air was full of fallingbodies, then the rock was empty
in the hot sunlight.
He counted one, two, three.
(10:01):
At fifty he was terrified.
They must all be drowningbeneath him in the watery caves
of the rock.
At a hundred he stared aroundhim at the empty hillside,
wondering if he should yell forhelp.
He counted faster and faster tohurry them up, to bring them to
the surface quickly, to drownthem quickly.
(10:21):
Anything rather than the terrorof counting on and on into the
blue emptiness of the morning.
And then at 160, the waterbeyond the rock was full of boys
, blowing like brown whales.
They swam back to the shorewithout a look at him.
He climbed back to the divingrock and sat down, feeling the
(10:41):
hot roughness of it under histhighs.
The boys were gathering uptheir bits of clothing and
running off along the shore toanother, up their bits of
clothing and running off alongthe shore to another promontory.
They were leaving to get awayfrom him.
He cried openly, fists in hiseyes.
There was no one to see him andhe cried himself out.
(11:02):
It seemed to him that a longtime had passed and he swam out
to where he could see his mother.
Yes, she was still there, ayellow spot under an orange
umbrella.
He swam back to the big rock,climbed up and dived into the
blue pool among the fanged andangry boulders.
(11:23):
Down he went until he touchedthe wall of rock again, but the
salt was so painful in his eyesthat he could not see.
Touched the wall of rock again,but the salt was so painful in
his eyes that he could not see.
He came to the surface, swam toshore and went back to the
villa to wait for his motherSoon.
She walked slowly up the pass,swinging her striped bag, the
flushed naked arm danglingbeside her.
(11:44):
I want some swimming goggles,he said.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I want some swimming goggles.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
He panted defiant and beseeching.
She gave him a patient,inquisitive look, as she said
casually.
Well, of course darling, but now, now, now he must have them
this minute and no other time.
He nagged and pestered untilshe went with him to a shop.
(12:23):
As soon as she had bought thegoggles, he grabbed them from
her as if she were going toclaim them for herself, and was
off running down the steep pathto the bay.
Jerry swam out to the bigbarrier rock, adjusted the
goggles and dived.
The impact of the water brokethe rubber-enclosed vacuum and
the goggles came loose.
(12:44):
He understood that he must swimdown to the base of the rock.
From the surface of the waterhe fixed the goggles tight and
firm, filled his lungs andfloated face down on the water.
Now he could see.
It was as if he had eyes of adifferent kind, fish eyes that
showed everything clear anddelicate and wavering in the
(13:04):
bright water Under him.
Six or seven feet down was afloor of perfectly clean,
shining white sand, rippled firmand hard by the tides.
Two grayish shapes steeredthere like long rounded pieces
of wood or slate.
They were fish.
He saw them nose towards eachother, poised, motionless, and
(13:27):
dart forward, swerve off andcome around again.
It was like a water dance.
A few inches above them, thewater sparkled as a sequence
were dropping through it.
Fish again, myriads of minutefish the length of his
fingernail were drifting throughthe water and in a moment he
could feel the innumerable tinytouches of them against his
(13:49):
limbs.
It was like swimming in flakedsilver.
The great rock the big boys hadswum through rose sheer out of
the white sand, black, tuftedlightly with greenish weed.
He could see no gap in it.
He swam down to its base.
(14:14):
Again and again he rose, took abig chest full of air and went
down.
Again and again he groped overthe surface of the rock, feeling
it almost, hugging it, indesperate need to find the
entrance.
And then once, while he wasclinging to the black wall, his
knees came up and he shot hisfeet out forward and they met no
obstacle.
He had found, found the hole.
He gained the surface, clamberedabout the stones that littered
(14:37):
the barrier rock until he founda big one and, with his arms,
let himself down over the sideof the rock.
He dropped with the weightstraight to the sand beach,
sandy floor, clinging tight tothe anchor of stone.
He lay on his side and lookedunder the dark shelf at the
place where his feet had gone.
He could see the hole.
It was an irregular dark gap,but he could not see deep into
(15:02):
it.
He let go of his anchor, clungwith his hands to the edges of
the hole and tried to pushhimself in.
He got his head in, found hisshoulders jammed, moved them in
sideways and was inside as faras his wrist.
He could see nothing ahead.
Something soft and clammytouched his mouth.
He saw a dark frond movingagainst the grayish rock and
(15:25):
panic filled him.
He thought of octopuses, ofclinging weed.
He pushed himself out backwardand caught a glimpse, as he
retreated, of a harmlesstentacle of seaweed drifting in
the mouth of the tunnel.
But it was enough.
He reached the sunlight, swam toshore and lay on the diving
rock.
He looked down into the bluewell of water.
(15:48):
He knew he must find his waythrough that cave or hole or
tunnel and out the other side.
First, he thought he must learnto control his breathing, let
himself down into the water withanother big stone in his arm so
that he could lie effortlesslyon the bottom of the sea.
He counted one, two, three.
(16:08):
He counted steadily.
He could hear the movement ofblood in his chest 51, 52.
His chest was hurting.
He let go of the rock and wentup into the air.
He saw that the sun was low.
He rushed to the villa andfound his mother at her supper.
She said only did you enjoyyourself, did you enjoy yourself
(16:29):
?
And he said yes.
All night the boy dreamed of thewater-filled cave in the rock,
and as soon as breakfast wasover he went to the bay.
That night his nose bled badly.
(16:50):
For hours he had beenunderwater learning to hold his
breath.
Now he felt weak and dizzy.
His mother said I shouldn't.
Ah His mother said I shouldn'toverdo things, darling.
(17:14):
If I were you.
That day and the next, jerryexercised his lungs as if
everything, the whole of hislife, all that he would become,
depended on it.
Again, his nose bled at nightand his mother insisted on his
coming with her the next day.
It was a torment to him towaste a day of his careful
training, but he stayed with her.
(17:35):
On that other beach now seemed aplace for small children, a
place where his mother might liesafe in the sun.
It was not his beach.
He did not ask for permissionon the following day to go to
his beach.
He went before his mother couldconsider the complicated rights
and wrongs of the matter.
A day's rest, he discovered,had improved his count by ten.
(18:00):
The big boys had made thepassage while he counted a
hundred and sixty.
He had been counting fast in hisfright.
Probably now, if he tried, hetried, he could get through that
long tunnel.
But he was not going to try yet.
A curious, most unchildlikepersistence, a controlled
impatience, made him wait.
(18:20):
In the meantime he layunderwater on the white sand,
littered now by stones he hadbrought down from the upper air,
and studied the entrance to thetunnel.
He knew every jut and corner ofit, as far as it was possible
to see.
It was as if he had alreadyfelt its sharpness about his
(18:41):
shoulders.
He sat by the clock in thevilla when his mother was not
near and checked his time.
He was incredulous and thenproud to find he could hold his
breath without strain for twominutes.
The words two minutes,authorized by the clock, brought
him close to the adventure thatwas so necessary to him In
(19:03):
another four days.
His mother said casually onemorning they must go home On the
day before they left.
He would do it.
He would do it if it killed himand he said defiantly to
himself.
He said defiantly to himself.
But two days before they wereto leave, a day of triumph, when
(19:23):
he increased his count by 15,his nose bled so badly that he
turned dizzy and had to lielimply over the big rock like a
bit of seaweed, watching thethick red blood flow onto the
rock and trickle slowly down tothe sea.
He was frightened.
Supposing he turned dizzy inthe tunnel.
Supposing he died there trapped.
(19:45):
Supposing his head went aroundin the hot sun and he almost
gave up.
He thought he would return tothe house and lie down and next
summer perhaps, when he hadanother year's growth in him,
then he would go through thehole.
He was trembling with fear thathe would not go and he was
(20:26):
trembling with horror at thelong, long tunnel under the rock
.
He was trembling with fear thathe would not go Under the sea,
even in the open sunlight.
The barrier rock seemed verywide and very heavy.
Tons of rock pressed down onwhere he would go and if he died
there he would lie until oneday perhaps Not before next year
(20:46):
those big boys would swim intoit and find it blocked.
He put on his goggles, fittedthem tight, tested the vacuum.
His hands were shaking.
Then he chose the biggest stonehe could carry and slipped over
the edge of the rock until halfof him was in the cool and
closing water and half in thehot sun.
(21:08):
He looked up at the empty sky,filled his lungs once, twice and
then sank fast to the bottomwith the stone.
He let it go and began to count.
He took the edges of the holein his hands and drew himself
into it, wriggling his shouldersSidewise, as he remembered he
(21:30):
must, kicking himself along withhis feet.
Soon he was clear inside.
He was in a small rock-boundhole filled with yellowish-gray
water.
The water was pushing him upagainst the roof.
The roof was sharp and painedhis back.
He pulled himself along withhis hands fast, fast, and used
his legs as levers.
His head knocked againstsomething.
(21:51):
A sharp pain dizzied him.
His head knocked againstsomething.
A sharp pain dizzied him.
50, 51, 52.
He was without light and thewater seemed to press upon him
with the weight of rock.
71, 72.
There was no strain on hislungs.
He felt like an inflatedballoon.
(22:11):
His lungs were so light andeasy, but his head was pulsing.
He was being continuallypressed against the sharp roof,
which felt slimy as well assharp.
Again, he thought of octopusesand wondered if the tunnel might
be filled with weed that wouldtangle him.
He gave himself a panicky,convulsive kick forward, ducked
his head and swam.
His feet and hands moved freelyas if in open water.
(22:33):
The hole must have widened out.
He thought he must be swimmingfast and he was frightened of
banging his head if the tunnelnarrowed.
A hundred, a hundred and one.
The water paled.
Victory filled him.
His lungs were beginning tohurt.
A few more strokes and he wouldbe out.
(22:54):
He was counting wildly.
He said at 115, and then, a longtime later, 115 again.
The water was a clear jewelgreen around him.
Then he saw above his head acrack running up through the
rock.
Sunlight was falling through it, showing the clean, dark rock
of the tunnel, a single muscleshell, and darkness ahead.
(23:17):
He was at the end of what hecould do.
He looked up at the crack as ifit were filled with air and not
water, as if he could put hismouth to it to draw air.
115, heard himself say insidehis head, but he had said that
long ago.
He must go on into theblackness ahead or he would
(23:37):
drown.
His head was swelling, hislungs cracking.
115, 115 pounded through hishead and he feebly clutched at
rocks in the dark, pullinghimself forward and leaving the
brief space of sunlit waterbehind.
He felt he was dying.
He was no longer quiteconscious.
(23:59):
He struggled on in the darknessbetween lapses into
unconsciousness.
An immense swelling pain filledhis head and then the darkness
cracked with an explosion ofgreen light.
His hands groping forward meantnothing and his feet kicking
back propelled him out into theopen sea.
He drifted to the surface, hisface turned up to the air.
(24:22):
He was gasping like a fish.
He felt he was sink now anddrowned.
He could not swim the few feetback to the rock.
Then he was clutching it andpulling himself onto it.
He lay face down, gasping.
He could see nothing but ared-veined, clotted dark.
His eyes must have burst.
He thought they were full ofblood.
(24:43):
He tore off his goggles and agout of blood went into the sea.
His nose was bleeding and theblood had filled the goggles.
He scooped up handfuls of waterfrom the cool salty sea to
splash his face and did not knowwhether it was blood or salt
water he tasted.
After a time his heart quieted,his eyes cleared and he sat up.
(25:09):
He could see the local boysdiving and playing half a mile
away.
He could see the local boysdiving and playing half a mile
away.
He did not want them.
He wanted nothing but to getback home and lie down.
In a short while Jerry swam toshore and climbed slowly up the
path to the villa.
He flung himself on his bed andslept, waking at the sound of
(25:29):
feet on the path outside.
His mother was coming back.
He rushed to the bathroom,thinking she must not see his
face with bloodstains or tearstains on it.
He came out of the bathroom andmet her as she walked to the
villa, smiling.
Her eyes lit up.
Have a nice morning she said,laying her hands on his warm
brown shoulder a moment.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Oh yes, thank you.
You look pale a bit.
And then sharp and anxious howdid you bang your head?
Oh, I just banged it he toldher.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
She looked at him closely.
He was strained, his eyes wereglazed, looking she was worried.
Then she said to herself ohdon't fuss, nothing can happen,
he can swim like a fish.
They sat down to lunch together, mommy, he said.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
I can stay underwater for two minutes, three minutes
at least.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
It came bursting out of him.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Can you darling?
She said Well, I shouldn'toverdo it.
I don't think you ought to swimanymore today.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
She was ready for a battle of wills, but he gave in
at once.
It was no longer of the leastimportance to go to the bay.
You've been listening to RonReed's Boring Books Through the
Tunnel by Doris Lessing.
(27:01):
Thank you for listening.
Please like and share andsubscribe to this podcast.
Thank you.
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