November 23, 2025 • 54 mins
In this episode of Rooted & Rising, Tara sits down with Regan Caruthers, spiritual teacher, author, and founder of Aset Yoga Center, to explore the awakening that happens when we finally choose to live from love instead of reaction.
Regan shares her deeply personal story behind her new book, Tragic Magic, revealing how a journey through success, heartbreak, and self-forgiveness led her back to Divine Love and conscious living. Together, we talk about what it really means to embody peace, cultivate inner sovereignty, and respond to life with grace, even when it’s messy.
If you’ve ever wondered how to turn your own pain into purpose, this episode will remind you that the magic is never lost, it’s just waiting to be remembered.
✨ Connect with Regan: Here
💫 Order her book, Tragic Magic: Order Here
Looking for confirmation, guidance, or support in an area of life where you feel stuck, stagnant, or simply unclear of what to do next? Let's connect: book a complimentary Discovery Session with me, today!
Book a 30-min Discovery Session Here
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_03 (00:00):
In today's episode, we're talking about awakening
through messiness of being humanand how our guest author and
teacher Reagan Carruthers turnedher tragic magic into
transformation.
Let's go.
Welcome to Rooted in Rising.
I'm your host, Tara Michelle,intuitive guide, storyteller,
and fellow traveler on this wildpath of becoming.
(00:23):
This is a space for the soulled, for the ones unraveling old
stories tending to their healingand rising, not perfectly, but
powerfully into who they arehere to be.
Here we explore what it means tolive with intention, to love
with depth, and to trust thateven the hard things are shaping
us.
I'll share pieces of my ownjourney, the cracks, the beauty,
(00:46):
the breakthroughs, and invitevoices who are walking this path
too.
Because I believe life isn'thappening to us, it's happening
for us.
So come as you are, root in andrise up.
And thank you.
Truly thank you for being here.
Welcome back to Rooted inRising, everybody.
It's great to have you heretoday.
I'm joined by someone whosejourney beautifully bridges the
(01:09):
worlds of consciousness,healing, and divine love.
Reagan Carruthers.
Reagan's early life was steepedin mindfulness and spiritual
practice, meditation, tai chi,and the power of divine love.
Yet, like many of us, shestepped away from those roots to
seek belonging and a worldlysuccess, eventually, even rising
as a Silicon Valley executive inthe educational software
(01:32):
industry.
But her outer success masked aninner longing, one that would
lead her back to her truth, todeep healing, and to a life of
purpose and service.
Today, Reagan is the founder ofAsset Yoga Center, guiding
others to cultivate innersovereignty consciousness
response through yoga,one-on-one coaching, and her
(01:54):
ready-to-awaken courses.
And she's now sharing herpowerful story in her new book,
Tragic Magic (01:59):
A Raw and Inspiring Journey Through Love,
Loss Awakening, and the Alchemyof Transformation.
So I welcome you all to sitback, listen, and here we go
with Reagan.
Okay, so welcome Reagan to theshow.
I'm so excited to have you.
I am excited to share your storyor have you share your story
(02:21):
with the listeners.
And um yeah, just reallyfascinated by, you know, where
you started, where you went to,where you've ended up.
And I really I'm just gonna handit over to you and and just have
you start.
Like tell us a little bit moreabout who you are and you know
what has you be here today toshare what you're about to
(02:42):
share.
I think it's really special.
SPEAKER_01 (02:44):
Yeah, thanks.
I'm so glad to be here.
And I'm glad my team found youbecause I feel like you're a
sister.
SPEAKER_03 (02:52):
Yes, kindred spirits over here.
SPEAKER_01 (02:54):
Yeah, totally.
Um, so you know, I think I needto first say I'm a seeker.
Yes, I'm a teacher, but firstand foremost, I'm a seeker on
this quest to embody the love ofGod as best I can every day.
SPEAKER_03 (03:12):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (03:13):
Um, and I don't think I would be desiring that
um without all the things thatcame before now, right?
And what made the mostdifference um in my life was my
mom.
Uh she is this, you know,central, magical, um complicated
(03:41):
force in my life, uh, my firstteacher for sure.
And you know, she just had powerthat she didn't know how to
regulate, and she lackeddiscipline.
So thankfully, you know, I'm mydad's daughter too, and he had
plenty of disciplines.
So that helps.
Um, but she made an importantdecision when I was three years
(04:03):
old to enroll me in a schoolwhere um we meditated every day,
and we did Tai Chi, taught by aChinese immigrant who was a
master of the practice.
When I was a little bit older,she would bring Karillian film
and we would photograph ourenergy field.
SPEAKER_03 (04:25):
That's so amazing.
Like to be able to have that asan experience as a child, right?
So special.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (04:32):
And we, you know, we'd begin the day after
meditation and devotionalsinging.
Uh, Maxwell Maltz, who wrote thebook Psycho Cybernetics, which
birthed the positive psychologymovement, was on the board of my
school.
So, um, you know, his point ofview and his research informed
the pedagogy and certainlyinformed the songs that we sang,
(04:54):
which was all about uh the powerthat that we have.
Um the power to choose.
Uh I mean, I remember yearslater when I was pregnant with
my first son, I went to see thefounder of my grade school and
stayed with her for two weeks.
She was a whiskey drinking, likechain smoking mystic.
(05:18):
But I loved her.
I didn't know that at the time,obviously when I was when I was
young.
But I asked her what she wantedthe lasting legacy of our
education to be.
And she didn't hesitate when Iasked the question.
And she said, I wanted you toknow that every thought and
feeling you have is your choice.
SPEAKER_03 (05:37):
I love that.
SPEAKER_01 (05:39):
I love that.
So that's how it began, right?
And that was in great contrastto what was going on in my home.
Um, my mother diagnosed herselfas a manic depressive in 1961,
surrounded by psychiatrists whocouldn't agree on a diagnosis.
And she just literally pulled itout of the air and said, I'm a
(05:59):
manic depressive.
Um, I don't agree with her.
I mean, I think she had energyregulation problems for her.
Um, but you know, she chose herthird husband, uh, a man she met
in the mental hospital.
Not a great place to find apurpose.
SPEAKER_03 (06:20):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (06:21):
Yeah.
And so he was emotionallyabusive and physically abusive.
And there's probably things Idon't remember, too, that I kind
of sense.
Um yeah, so that was hard tolive with someone who could
embody the greatest love I'veever known.
I mean, her presence changedpeople.
(06:43):
I mean, when she dated KingHussein of Jordan, I have
letters from him talking abouthow she is impacting his
thinking about how to govern hiscountry.
Wow.
Right.
So, anywho, um, and I was very,you know, like her, I was um
very tuned in and connected.
(07:04):
And um, I mean, the word wewould use is psychic, though my
mother always kind of scoffed atthat word because she thought we
all were, um, just a matter ofgetting stuff out of the way.
And um, I would see things, youknow, that the average person
didn't, and I could hearpeople's thoughts, which you
don't want to have access to.
(07:25):
And I was, you know, surroundedby what I would describe as dark
entities at night, probablyattracted to the energetics in
the home.
That I don't, you know, but Idon't know.
SPEAKER_03 (07:38):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (07:39):
And one fateful day I was, you know, tumbling down
in the basement, dancing anddoing gymnastics, which was my
like safe haven that I wouldcreate for myself.
And there he was, this entitythat used to terrorize me,
sitting on the top of my washingmachine in like this fiery
throne, looking kind of demonic.
And I, I mean, the terror I feltat the age of nine, um, I don't
(08:04):
have words for.
And I just ran up the basementstep screaming out loud for it
all to stop.
And it did, the veil came down.
And it wasn't until 27 at anational sales meeting when I'm
a junior executive in theacademic publishing industry
that this same entity uh woke meup in the middle of the night.
(08:24):
And I just looked at him.
First of all, I was asleep, andI awakened, my eyes weren't yet
open, but I knew someone was inmy room.
I could feel it, and I wasterrified.
And I opened my eyes, and therehe was.
And I just looked at him andsaid, Oh, it's you.
It's only you.
I'm not afraid of you.
And I went back to sleep.
(08:45):
And when I woke up the nextmorning, all I could feel was
the love of God, uh, oneness,complete forgiveness for my
stepfather, for these executivesat my work that were behaving
badly, to put it literally.
Uh, and that changed my life.
And I think ever since then,I've been trying to integrate
(09:09):
the wisdom that came in, right?
The energetic change in myphysical system.
Um, and you know, you wake upand the world doesn't change.
No, it doesn't.
And being awake, particularlynow, is not easy.
SPEAKER_03 (09:31):
No.
And so I'm worried ever, but wasit ever?
SPEAKER_01 (09:35):
It was easier.
SPEAKER_03 (09:36):
Was it?
Do you think so?
SPEAKER_01 (09:38):
Oh, definitely.
Uh, it was easier.
Um, you know, it's it's rampingup.
SPEAKER_03 (09:45):
How do you how say more about that?
Uh and I and I asked say moreabout that because I think, you
know, I mean, when you shareyour story, I'm like, oh yeah,
oh yeah, oh yeah.
Because I have a very similar uhwe've we I I don't want to say
the story is similar, but manyof the experiences you've had
(10:05):
have had very similarexperiences, you know, with the
entities, with the being able tofeel see here um at a young age.
And what do you do with that?
You know, and it is terrifying,like there are no words to put.
And so, but how do you see it asas it was easier?
Do you think in terms of likefor me, I there was a point in
(10:26):
my life where I shut it alldown.
I shut it all down, yeah.
And then later woke up againbecause it was it was just
oozing out of me and I couldn'tnot pay attention.
But yeah, share more about thatbecause I do feel that there's a
lot of people today that arewaking up, maybe have always had
(10:47):
been aware of their powers, butnot able to put words to it.
Um, I say powers, maybe I shouldsay gifts, and also like when
you talk about psychic, youknow, I I I feel so weird today
when people say, So what do youdo?
And I'm like, you know,especially I have this business
where I work with realtors andaligning their spaces, the
houses.
And it's I've eventually have totell people I'm psychic, but
(11:10):
that just sounds so weird.
You know, it's it doesn'tbecause it it doesn't it it
doesn't fit because I feel likewe all have these gifts, right?
We're all so so yeah, sharemore.
Sorry, I just kind of opened upa bag of worms.
SPEAKER_01 (11:24):
Well, I mean, I I think this is again how it feels
to me.
Doesn't mean I'm right.
Um I feel like the the shadow umis becoming more visible in in
the collective.
Um, you know, the the forcesthat have always run this place.
SPEAKER_03 (11:44):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (11:44):
Since the dawn of time.
SPEAKER_03 (11:46):
Umennia, way before we could even write books about
it.
SPEAKER_01 (11:51):
Exactly.
And as we as a collective,either consciously or
unconsciously rise in frequencyand awaken to the truth, it's
like shining a light on thatshadow.
It's becoming more visible.
And so what would a shadow wantto do if it feels like it's
(12:16):
being seen?
Well, it's gonna ramp up and bemore shadowy, you know, try to
do as much that it can to regaincontrol, right?
Or to persist in control.
And I think that's where we areright now.
SPEAKER_03 (12:34):
100%.
SPEAKER_01 (12:35):
Um, yeah, so I mean it's not easy, and um we all
have to up our time in the quietand up our time hanging out with
the light, the light, you know,the light within the heart, but
the light that is the source ofour own light, right?
(12:55):
The big light, right?
The light with the capital L.
Yes.
Um, you know, yesterday when Iwas just feeling like it was
almost like right on thesurface, this desire to cry,
like this desire to grieve wherewe truly are.
Right.
And I just, you know, felt it.
(13:16):
I mean, I didn't deny it, but Iconnected in the heart and I
just asked God, you know, whatdo you want of me?
What what what more can I do?
And the voice said, spend moretime with me.
SPEAKER_03 (13:31):
I think that voice is saying that to everybody
right now.
Yeah.
You know, quiet.
Yes, spend more time.
SPEAKER_01 (13:40):
Yeah, and spend more time outside in nature, like
nature.
These very basic things likewalk barefoot in the grass, yes,
connect to the earth, um, yes,connect to the God that you
know, yes, um, whatever that is.
SPEAKER_03 (13:59):
Whatever that is, because it yeah, it could be I I
really want the listeners tohear that it, you know, um it
really is whatever, whateverthat is to you.
This isn't about, you know, acertain type of religious
understanding.
It's just like whatever thatconnection is, whatever that
(14:20):
power is, whatever you resonatewith, connect more with that
because that's where and I meanit's a shame that God can be a
triggering word.
SPEAKER_01 (14:31):
It is today, you know, and and that's because of
the humans.
Yes, that has nothing to do withGod, nothing to do with it.
Um, and so I try to be, youknow, true to that.
There's other spiritual teachersthat'll say universe instead.
It's like, well, no, you don'twant to connect with the
universe.
There's a lot in the universethat you don't want to connect
(14:54):
to, and part of it is what'shere, it's part of it is that
dark energy that's here.
Yeah, yeah.
No, no, universe, parts of theuniverse, certainly.
Yeah, absolutely.
So, you know, for me, God isthis impersonal love that you
don't have words for, like thewords are inadequate to
(15:17):
describe.
It's an energy, right?
It's a it's a consciousness.
Um, so yeah.
Um, I don't know, there's a lotmore to say about almost 59
years that I've lived on thiscrazy rock.
Right.
Um yeah, but I hope that givesyour, you know, your lift.
SPEAKER_03 (15:37):
Yeah, and say more because I know you went through
a pretty big transition when youleft.
You were living in Santa Cruzand more recently.
SPEAKER_00 (15:50):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (15:51):
Talk more about that because I feel like you know,
when we were talking a littlebit, that has a lot to do.
Yeah, that has a lot to do withwith what's happening for you
and and this transition andreally what you're here to
share.
The light you're here.
SPEAKER_01 (16:04):
Yeah.
So um before that, though, um,after my awakening, right, and I
returned to St.
Louis uh from my meeting to aworld and a household and a
husband that hadn't changed,right?
I'd had this dramaticexperience, was able to heal my
(16:25):
stepfather through an energetictransmission I was holding.
He's now the kindest, sweetestman, and that's been true for
over 30 years.
Um, so that was initially like,wow, okay.
Um I immediately got pregnantwith my first son.
(16:46):
I knew when his spirit enteredmy body and I greeted him.
That was like day one ofreturning to St.
Louis after my awakening.
SPEAKER_03 (16:54):
So he's a pretty lucky guy to come in in that at
that time, that energy.
Yeah, yes.
SPEAKER_01 (17:01):
He certainly did that on purpose.
And so I found myself um veryquickly working for a woman
named uh Dr.
Peggy Jenkins, who had writtenthe book Joyful Child.
If you haven't written read thatbook or Nurturing Spirituality
in Children, her other book,please do.
I think you'd love it.
(17:23):
Um, so I was doing parenteducation for her, and um, you
know, kind of her pedagogy andwhat she had created reminded me
so much of my early schooling.
And uh she was good friends withuh Joseph Chilton Pierce.
And um he had written, you know,the crack and the cosmic egg and
(17:43):
magical child and some reallygroundbreaking books.
And he suggested to her that shecheck out the Heart Math
Institute, which had recentlyformed.
Well, she was in her 70s and shedidn't want to leave Sedona, so
she asked me to.
So this was 1995, just four fouryears after the institute um set
(18:07):
up their shingle in the SantaCruz Mountains.
And I knew uh going to my firstretreat that that was where I
was supposed to be.
There's a lot of reasons forthat that I detail in my book.
Like I had this patheticrepetitive dream as a child that
let me know that these were, youknow, the same, same people.
(18:29):
So in a few years I was staffedthere, uh leading retreats and
programs for business audienceswith Bruce Cryer.
So we would do executive renewaland interquality management
retreats on site.
They don't do that anymore, butpeople would come to the
institute for that.
And then a decision was made togo to market, to actually go to
(18:52):
major market cities.
And so Bruce and I were thebusiness face of heart math um
at that time in the 90s.
Um, yeah, so I, you know, packedup the Volvo and took my husband
and my four-year-old son and uh,you know, accepted an offer to
work there for$12 an hour.
I mean, people thought I was,you know, nuts.
(19:13):
And I told my mom, you know,that I had this, you know, kind
of heart directive to go there.
And she's like, oh, go, honey.
I don't even know why I stilllive in St.
Louis.
But she looked at me, and Ithink I told you this when we
spoke the first time.
She goes, but honey, nobody'sgonna change because they go to
your workshop.
SPEAKER_03 (19:32):
I love that, by the way.
I love that and she and she'sright, right?
It takes a lot more than that.
It sure does.
SPEAKER_01 (19:38):
Um, but anyway, heart math wasn't my place.
Um, I don't need to get into it.
I appreciate the work that theyput out in the world because
it's good, it's transformative,but it was a stop in the
journey.
It was a stop in the journey,and my husband at the time
announced that we were runningout of money.
So that meant as a mother,again, I had a uh basically an
(20:04):
infant, my second son, and Iknew what that meant.
So I, you know, returned tocorporate life.
Uh and I stayed in corporatelife for about the next 18
years, um, returning to academicpublishing, which is the work I
had known, and then you know,the internet was kind of
(20:27):
changing content.
SPEAKER_03 (20:29):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (20:29):
Uh yeah, so I just stayed in that space.
Uh, worked uh in Silicon Valleyfor venture-funded startups,
worked for the leadership of theCalifornia State University
system for the chancellor forsix years on academic innovation
projects.
Yeah, and all the while tryingto stay connected to what I had
awakened to.
(20:50):
Um and I wasn't yeah, and Iwasn't that disciplined, you
know.
Um, I just wasn't.
I I was busy and I had athree-hour one-way commute to
San Francisco.
Yep.
Um, yeah, I was just yeah, I wasa single mom.
I finally had the courage todivorce my husband of over 20
years because that was justyeah, dysfunctional.
(21:14):
Yeah, and so okay to answer yourquestion because there was a lot
I needed to say in between.
Okay, but now it is um Decemberof 2021.
We are now on year two of theCOVID lockdowns in California.
SPEAKER_03 (21:32):
Talk about crazy, yes.
SPEAKER_01 (21:34):
Yeah, there's a whole chapter in my book called
Madness about that.
But anyway, I had traveled toJoshua Tree uh to work on my
book, Tragic Magic.
And I, you know, I just neededto be alone.
Golly, I mean, that was one ofthe challenges of being locked
down.
There's no privacy, you know.
We couldn't even walk thebeaches, you'd get escorted by a
(21:56):
cop with an AK.
I mean, it was just so nuts.
SPEAKER_03 (22:00):
God, I was in Texas.
SPEAKER_01 (22:01):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I um went to Joshua to Treeto walk work on the book, and I
always had a ritual.
Um, I was praying andmeditating.
I was probably more disciplinedthan I give myself credit for.
But anyway, um, deep in thepresence, and I receive you must
(22:25):
urgently move home.
And I knew that voice.
It's a voice I've been connectedto since I can remember.
Yeah.
So I literally looked at myphone to see if I had enough
bars to make a phone callbecause I was in the middle of
the high desert.
I did.
I called a friend in St.
Louis because that was home, whowas a realtor.
And I said, Andrea, will youwork with me?
(22:47):
God wants me home.
And she said, Of course.
So then I called my husbandnext, told him what had
happened.
He said, Well, I'm not gettingin the way of you and God.
And so he made arrangements uhfor me to fly out of Palm
Springs to St.
Louis the following day.
Um thank God he responded theway that he did.
Yes, yes, um, such a beautifulman.
(23:09):
And um, yeah, and I knew St.
Louis wasn't it.
I was like, Andrea, this justthis isn't right.
So again, tune back in and Ireceive Franklin County.
I'm like, I don't even know whatthat means.
So I tell her, and it's about anhour west of St.
Louis, and I end up finding thehome where I now live.
(23:31):
So anyway, you know, peoplethink I'm being dramatic, right?
That like you're you'relistening to voices in your head
and doing what it says, likeright, and I just knew, and I
and I was clear what I wasdoing, and my husband was
unconditional in his support.
And so within three months, uh,we had moved to rural Missouri.
(23:54):
I had found 10 acres and thisbeautiful home and um this big
garage that I converted into myyoga center, which I call my
come work on your shit center.
And um, yeah, so I get here, I'mteaching yoga on my back lawn, I
find a contractor to work on,you know, the redesign of the
(24:15):
garage.
And again, in my quiet time, Iand again, I'm not asking.
All I mean in the prayer part ofmy ritual is I ask for the
insights and the resources andthe people to come forth to live
my highest good and to be ableto make my highest contribution
(24:40):
to humanity at the time, right?
So, anyway, I hear uh go to adoctor, and it says like urgent,
like don't delay kind ofmessage.
And I'm like, okay, and you livein the country, you can actually
see a doctor, right?
SPEAKER_03 (24:56):
Yeah, yeah.
It's not three months from nowwe can get you in.
SPEAKER_01 (25:01):
If I was back in Santa Cruz, I mean who knows
when it would have been, right?
Um, so I see him the next day.
And what do doctors do?
First thing they do is they takethat stethoscope and they listen
to your heart.
And he does, and he looks at me,he goes, Reagan, something's
terribly wrong.
He said, We need to get youscheduled for an echocardiogram
as quickly as possible.
He heard a very loud murmur.
(25:23):
So we do.
That's the next day, becauseagain, I'm in a small town and
there's a hospital here.
And so, two days from heedingthat call to go to a doctor, I
learn I'm dying.
And that I have a birth defectin my heart.
And if your listeners read mybook, that'll make sense to them
(25:43):
why I was born with a brokenheart.
Um, and I needed open heartsurgery to replace my aortic
valve.
Not an inconsequential surgery,and certainly not one you want
to do at Dominican Hospital inSanta Cruz, right?
You know, oh my god and in St.
Louis, Barnes Hospital, where Iwas born, just happens to be one
(26:05):
of the best cardiac surgerycenters in the world.
SPEAKER_03 (26:09):
That's particularly for aortic valve replacement.
I just got chills because it'sjust like just all the
alignment, right?
All the alignment, all thealignment.
So amazing.
SPEAKER_01 (26:18):
Yeah.
So December, I'm told to movehome.
I get here in March.
I'm told in late May to go to adoctor.
I learn in early June I'm dying.
I have open heart surgery inJuly.
And uh that was on a Fridaymorning.
I was cleared from the ICU thefollowing morning, which is
(26:38):
unusual.
SPEAKER_03 (26:40):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (26:41):
And I'm home by Tuesday.
SPEAKER_03 (26:43):
Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01 (26:44):
And come Tuesday, Ralph Damiano, who runs all of
it at Barnes, he's the head ofcardiothoracic surgery, who was
my surgeon, comes to see me.
And he'd already told my husbandand children this, but he kind
of pats my leg playfully andthen looks quite like a surgeon
and says, Reagan, uh, there isno medical explanation of you.
(27:08):
So if you have point less than0.2 centimeters for blood to
flow through your aortic valve,it's considered incapable of
supporting life.
And mine was less than that.
And I was teaching yoga.
So he's like, not only do we notunderstand how you were alive,
like I don't understand how youwalked, like anything.
(27:30):
And I just looked at him, andyou know, this might be
triggering for people, but it'sthe truth.
And I said, Do you believe inJesus Christ?
I said, and I asked that from awide point of view, right?
As a yoga teacher, I believe inhim, yeah, but not the rest.
Yeah.
Um, and he said, I do.
I said, Well, that's the onlyexplanation I have.
(27:53):
Because when I learned I wasdying, it was immediate.
All I wanted was to hang outwith him, and not Jesus, right?
Yeshua, that's the name, right?
Absolutely, yeah.
And I just wanted to know him.
I just wanted to know him in anew way.
(28:15):
Um, so I reread all the GnosticGospels, you know, the things
that they did in a jar toprotect them, you know, just
like today.
Read the things that they'retrying to censor.
That's probably more the truth,right?
SPEAKER_03 (28:30):
I was just gonna say, anything they take down,
anything they censor, that's thetruth.
Anything they tell you, oh no,it's this other thing.
No, that's the lie.
That's the lie.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (28:41):
So yeah, I just wanted to know him.
And um, I had no fear of deathgoing into my surgery, not just
because of the love that I couldconnect to and my understanding,
but in my 20s after myawakening, and I was terrorized
for years after my awakening,like pulled out of my body
against my will, like like itwas a Jedi initiation.
(29:05):
Like, anyway, I describe it inthe book.
But I learned through that wholeprocess in time how to exit my
body at will and return.
So when you know how to do that,I don't do it now, it's like not
recreation, it's just like itteaches you two things that
(29:25):
you're not your body, no, andthat there's something eternal
about the truth of who you are.
Yes, so yeah, death of the body,and uh we are physically then
separate, we're not in thisdimension.
Uh but that's about it in termsof the change.
(29:49):
And so I was like, you know,praying come, you know, the
preparations I needed to do, youknow, physically and other tests
and things.
I just prayed for the highestgood.
I didn't pray to be healed.
I didn't know if physicallyhealing was what was in my
highest.
(30:10):
Yeah.
How could I know?
SPEAKER_03 (30:11):
Yeah.
And I I love that you point thatout because lately today I've
been really sensing that interms of, you know, when I say
the highest good, when I say thehighest good, doesn't mean the
outcome that I have in my mind.
Usually not, actually.
Right.
Because there's other peopleinvolved.
(30:31):
You know, there's other, it's inthe highest good of all.
Of all.
Yeah.
And that may not look the wayyou think it should look.
unknown (30:42):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (30:42):
You know.
Though I will say when I resumedconsciousness in the ICU, I
expected to be there.
I mean, I wasn't reallyconscious that that was what I
knew.
But once I awakened from all ofthat, um, yeah, I knew.
I knew.
And I will say, because I hadlife-threatening heart
(31:06):
inflammation post-surgery, I wasbasically in bed for six months.
And in my two ER visits, mysurgical nurse, um, the one that
cut me open, um, would come andsee me.
And the first time she did, shesaid, you know, Reagan, I don't
have words for what weexperienced in the OR that day.
(31:29):
Oh.
She said, We all knew that wewere experiencing a miracle.
I mean, my surgeon had to scrapebone off my heart for two hours.
Um, she said, so I'll she said,you know, I'm forever changed
from what went on.
And we also, she and I had kindof a fun moment because as I
(31:51):
was, and again, this might betriggering for your listeners,
but sorry, it's my truth.
Um, as I was getting wheeled in,you know, and everybody's
masked, of course.
And I just looked at my team.
I had brought them gifts and andI had written them letters and
had distributed that, you know,prior to the surgery.
(32:12):
Um, but I just looked at themand I said, if you can't
guarantee that blood I may needdoesn't have the COVID vaccine
in it, I don't want it.
SPEAKER_02 (32:24):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (32:25):
So no blood transfusion for me.
SPEAKER_03 (32:29):
No.
SPEAKER_01 (32:29):
And my nurse, she like bends over and whispers in
my ear and she goes, Oh my god,you fucking get it.
And that was literally the lastthing I heard that you remember
for I was yeah, yeah, it's sotrue, so true.
SPEAKER_03 (32:51):
Yeah, don't put anything in my body, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (32:55):
Yeah, so um, anywho, here I am on my 10 acres, an
hour west of St.
Louis, and I will say, you know,Santa Cruz lost its mind.
Um, Santa Cruz Yes, we werethere.
SPEAKER_03 (33:11):
Well, we were there pre-COVID, but I felt that it
had pre-COVID.
I mean, the whole Bay Area wasunrecognizable to me.
And I left California in 2007,moved to Arizona, came back in
2014, and uh it wasunrecognizable, unrecognizable.
(33:32):
Just the way people behaved, howpeople treated you.
I mean, the economy was out ofout of control, but everything
about everything about it hadchanged, really changed.
And I can only imagine how evenmore devastating it was during
the time of lockdown andpre-lockdown and after, and
(33:54):
still is, I think today.
I mean, it is probably not asbad, but still, it is very
changed.
SPEAKER_01 (34:01):
Yeah, it's it's definitely unwell.
Um, beautiful, yeah.
The beauty of Santa Cruz andMonterey.
I lived, you know, south andaptos in the Seascape
neighborhood.
I mean, it was that's where wewere.
SPEAKER_03 (34:18):
Yeah, we were there.
We were in Benlohman.
We were in Benlohman, BonnieDune, but we were also in
Seascape.
So yeah, just beautiful.
SPEAKER_00 (34:26):
So weird because I was in Boulder Creek.
SPEAKER_03 (34:28):
I know, like we, yeah, we were we were orbiting
each other.
Even at even at the boulevard.
unknown (34:36):
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (34:37):
All right, like which is super wild, super wild.
SPEAKER_01 (34:41):
Exactly.
So, you know, given that I, youknow, that there's no medical
explanation of how I'm evenhere, right?
Um, boy, does that just orientyou more and more to service, or
at least it did me.
And so, you know, I teach yogaas an act of service, um, always
(35:02):
will, because I really see thatas an amazing opportunity for
people, and not just asana, youknow, everybody thinks of yoga
as asana, um, the physicalpractice.
So much more, you know, to itthat's probably even more
important than asana.
Um yeah, and I teach heart math,I do charge for that.
(35:26):
Um, I've got this halotechnology here now that's
really making such a differencein people's lives.
SPEAKER_03 (35:33):
What is halo technology?
Say more about that.
SPEAKER_01 (35:36):
So, you know, everything's frequency,
everything's energy.
So think remember like in StarTrek when you when they would go
through that tube and they'dcome out the other end and
they're all butter.
Yeah.
So we are in like the infancy ofthat.
That, yes.
And so what the halo is, it's uman electromagnetic frequency
(36:00):
machine that you can customizeand set frequencies for
different purposes.
And it's not a singularfrequency, it's multiple
frequencies working at once.
And uh, so let's say someonecomes and they're overweight.
Well, that means they'reinflamed.
(36:21):
Right?
I mean, that's just so I alwaysset an inflammation frequency
for those that come in with moreweight than you know they'd like
to have, you know, they'retrying, but um, let's say you've
got, you know, chronic digestiveissues.
Well, there's a frequency forthat.
Um, let's say you have troublesleeping.
(36:44):
There's a frequency for that.
Anyway, I have so manyfrequencies because my best
friend is a product manager forHalo.
She actually makes them andblesses them.
SPEAKER_03 (36:53):
Oh, that's amazing.
SPEAKER_01 (36:55):
Um, she was kind enough to um sort of share this
with me and teach me how best touse it.
So I have, you know, people thatcome and I just heard from
somebody yesterday that was herefor an hour, and she's like,
Reagan, I slept like a baby, andyet when I first got home, I was
so productive and so focused.
(37:16):
So think of it like a cellularrecharge.
SPEAKER_03 (37:20):
Reboost, yeah, reset, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (37:23):
Or different, you know, different cells have
different functions, right?
Um, so anyway, it's kind of likean automated heart math machine.
SPEAKER_03 (37:32):
I love that.
I love that.
That's amazing.
I'm like, I want to come.
I want to come do it.
Well, you you should.
SPEAKER_00 (37:38):
I know I already told you to.
SPEAKER_03 (37:40):
I know.
SPEAKER_01 (37:41):
Um yeah.
So anyway, what what I reallywant people to understand.
SPEAKER_03 (37:48):
What what is the thing that you really want
people to take away today?
And I mean, obviously, I want toput links to where they can find
you.
Sure.
To the book, but yeah, what iswhat is your big message for
everyone today?
SPEAKER_01 (38:01):
It's no fun, they're not gonna like it.
Yeah, it's discipline ofpractice to be disciplined,
yeah.
Um, to show up for yourselfevery day, particularly when you
don't want to, right?
Discipline's different frommotivation, right?
Motivation is I'm motivated,yeah.
(38:22):
Discipline is, oh God, I don'twant to do this, and you do it
anyway.
SPEAKER_03 (38:26):
You still have to do it, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (38:28):
Yeah, so time in the heart, right?
Focusing first the breath, yeah,reconnect to the most profound
love you've ever known, ideallyan impersonal love, though, you
know, work with whatever you'vegot and and be in the felt sense
of that, right?
Re-experience the feeling ofthat, because that becomes the
(38:50):
energetic scaffolding to connectto the love of God.
SPEAKER_03 (38:56):
I'm gonna have you explain that more because I
don't know of the listeners.
I mean, I've known of heart mathfor a long time, and I would
imagine there's some listenerslistening to this that are very
familiar with heart math,because I think heart math has
today, we could say has becomemore mainstream, but I would say
there's still a lot of peoplethat don't know what that is.
And when you talk about, youknow, um tapping into that
(39:17):
resonance of a memory or athought of the love and the
frequency, say more about whatyou mean with that.
Because I think that when a whenpeople hear what you say, and
I'm just gonna speak to, I don'twant to say your average person,
none of us are average, but Iwant to say the person who's
just out there plugged into alot of what's happening
(39:39):
media-wise, doesn't feel thatthere's any hope, doesn't feel
that they could get connected toany space of love, you know,
what what would you tell them?
How could they take that momentto tap into that?
And to then, and then what isit?
What would they be looking tofeel?
(40:00):
Because what I see energeticallyis people that hear that,
they're even gonna just struggleto feel that frequency rise up
from the soles of their feet tothe top of their head because
there's so much density stuck intheir body, because so many
people again, right?
So many people are plugged intoall that that noise and chaos,
(40:24):
yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (40:24):
They're plugged into the matrix for sure.
So um, well, let's instead oftalking about it, let's do it.
Okay, yeah, let's do it.
Okay, and and what heart mathreally is before we do, you
know, they basically tookancient wisdom and packaged it
in a biomedical model for theWestern mind.
Not to take anything away fromthem, but there's nothing
(40:47):
believe in science.
There's nothing new, likenewsflash.
There's nothing new here.
This is a very old thing inBuddhism.
It's called metta.
Um, anyway, so let's all justget a comfortable seat, ideally.
And um, if that's notcomfortable for whatever reason,
(41:08):
lie down.
It can work that way too.
And go ahead and close the eyesand put one hand over the center
of the chest, over the heart,and then the other hand over the
hand, right?
Just to help you kind ofconnect.
And before we get into theheart, I'd like you to first
(41:30):
feel your feet on the ground.
Feel your sit bones in yourseat.
Or if you're lying down, justfeel the length of your body on
the ground on the earth.
Just try to deepen thatconnection for a few moments.
(41:54):
I even like to imagine liketaproots descending down through
the soles of my feet.
Okay, so from this groundedplace with the hands over the
heart, I want you to take aninhale to a count of five
through your nose, and thenexhale out of your nose to the
(42:19):
same count.
Don't try too hard.
Just try to find an easefulrhythm of breath.
With the focus of the breathbeing the center of the chest
where your hands are through theheart.
(42:40):
Almost as if you're breathingthrough this part of you.
Now recall a time in your lifewhen you felt love.
(43:02):
For some reason that's notaccessible, something you're
grateful for.
It could be a person, it couldbe a thing.
Maybe you've had one of thoseinexplicable, impersonal moments
where you just felt the presenceof something so loving, so
(43:30):
intelligent.
But just work with whatever youhave.
It's all good in this way.
And once you've remembered thatmoment in time, go beyond what
it looks like and re-experiencethe feeling.
SPEAKER_00 (43:53):
As you continue to breathe through the heart.
SPEAKER_01 (44:04):
Knowing that as you do with every beat of the heart,
you're creating thiselectromagnetic wave of energy.
It's a giant donut, it's a torusshape all around you.
This is what you're thenbroadcasting out to your
(44:25):
community, to your household, tothe larger world, because energy
has no end, right?
We have limitations in terms ofhow we can measure it.
I sincerely believe the morethat we do this, the more the
world can change.
unknown (44:45):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (44:46):
This is how we combat the darkness.
unknown (44:49):
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (45:00):
I 100% agree with that.
100%.
And I feel amazing.
I'm like, uh.
SPEAKER_01 (45:08):
Well, and and we start wherever we are, you know,
like for me, let's say I've hada shitty night's sleep and it's
time to connect.
Well, it's gonna take me alittle longer to get into the
real felt sense of the love thatI've known.
SPEAKER_00 (45:23):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (45:24):
But that process of intending, that process of
efforting in that way createsbiochemical changes, energetic
changes, strengthens the immunesystem.
I mean, all sorts of thingshappen, much less this wave of
energy that people can feel, youknow, like when people come into
(45:47):
my space, they're like, wow, itfeels amazing in here.
It's not me, it's my practice,it's the energy that created us,
right?
That loves us, that has anintelligence that is smarter,
frankly, than us.
SPEAKER_03 (46:06):
So it's and that's you know, it's funny.
Uh the piece I keep hearing thatI know I'm um embarking on the
word of mastery is not probablythe word, but really deeply
knowing in my mind and body isallowing, right?
(46:30):
You know, so taking thatpractice that you just provided
and then allowing, because weare such doing machines.
And when you take that practicethat you just offered all of us,
which was a pure gift.
So please, if you're driving,please stop when you have time
and go back and do it, becauseyou will be like, oh my God.
(46:52):
And maybe while you weredriving, you might have even
felt a frequency come around youand you were feeling relaxed.
But it then inside of that, it'sit's listening for the whispers,
allowing, and then, and thentake an action.
And because we can get so caughtup in that monkey mind of the
(47:15):
doingness and the clutter andthe noise.
And then you keep wondering,like, why does my life keep
turning out this way that Idon't want it to be?
And that is because we're notstopping in the moment to be
present, to feel, to expressthat frequency, um, to drink it
in, honestly, like drink it in,and then allow whatever is to
(47:37):
unfold from that moment.
And that's when, and I think inthat allowance, you will find
God, Jesus, but I'm gonna sayGod will bring you everything
you need, everything, and you'renever not supported, you are
(48:00):
always divinely held anddivinely supported, and the only
reason why your world outsidedoes not look like it is because
you're trapped inside the matrixwithin, and you have stories
running in the background, andand it's with that practice you
just provided us is really asimple tool to start breaking
(48:23):
down that inner mind, that innerdialogue, and all of the inner
noise and the clutter and theblocks and the darkness, all of
it.
But yeah, I don't know.
Just had to say that.
Just had to say that.
SPEAKER_01 (48:35):
Yeah, I mean, it's kind of like what Da Vinci said
about how he sculpted, right?
Like he just chipped away thethings in the way, and yeah, and
that's true for us, right?
We're divine, yes, all themaster teachers have said the
same thing, right?
We are this unique expression ofthe divine, and our job in this
(49:01):
incarnated choice that we'vemade to come to this crazy place
is is to learn how to embodythat quality of love,
particularly when it's hard.
Yes, the master teachers didn'tsay, you know, love people only
with a complimentary point ofview.
I don't think that was eversaid.
(49:23):
No, no, no, and so that wholeprocess begins and ends with the
embodiment of love, yes, and umall the things that don't align
frequency-wise with that qualityof energy that you're learning
to self-generate begin to fallaway, falls off that also means
(49:47):
people, yes, relationships,jobs, all of it, because this is
the hard medicine, all of it isa reflection of yourself, yes,
um uh like who wants really OFexactly and yet you know you
(50:11):
learn that if you're payingattention in high school physics
or whatever, the law ofresonance, yes, is you know, the
energetics of you, you drawsimilar energetics to you, yes,
reflecting right back at you.
Change your vibration, changeyour life.
That's actually on my website,yeah, like a section.
SPEAKER_03 (50:35):
Yeah, I love that.
I love that.
Oh, this has been beautiful, andI just am so I feel so blessed
that we were brought togetherand so honored to have you on
this show.
And you know, to all those thatare listening, just uh it's a
(50:55):
simple practice.
And I would love to hear thoseof you who take it on, or even
while we were doing it, likewhat happened for you, what
shifted, what opened up?
Comment below.
Um, but Reagan, I'm gonna makesure that everybody has all the
links to find you and how theycan get in touch with you.
Is there anything else you'dlike to say before we wrap up
(51:16):
this show today?
SPEAKER_01 (51:17):
Well, I'd love for them to go on Amazon or Barnes
and Noble and buy my memoir,Tragic Magic.
I mean, I wrote it for thereader, right?
I'd already processed my life.
Like I um, but God asked me towrite it, and I think you'll
find hope in my story, and Ithink you'll also relate to the
(51:39):
mess.
Yeah, right.
You know, like it's not like,oh, life has just been unicorns
and rainbows for rape.
SPEAKER_03 (51:48):
It yeah, actually, it's like the opposite.
It is, and and that, and that,you know, uh, you know, to
remind people also that arelistening, the whole premise and
the whole context of why evencreated this podcast was to have
people get life is happening foryou, it's not happening to you.
And so all those things youshared today, and all those
(52:10):
moments when you listened andyou allowed and you had the
awakening, and it was alldriving you to this moment,
right?
And then to this moment, thismoment we're standing, is now
propelling you into whatever thenext season is.
And life is always happening forus to grow, to shift, to change,
to create, because we are themaster creators, which is
(52:30):
something we have forgottenabout.
We are the master creators, wecreate this, we are creating it.
So, yeah, so FYI reminder,y'all.
SPEAKER_01 (52:41):
Yeah, and I'm taking a break on like Instagram and
Facebook right now, and I'mwriting on Substack.
So if they just search my nameon Substack.
Oh, I love Substack.
If they happen to be on there,please subscribe.
It doesn't cost you anything.
Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_03 (52:55):
I just post that I'll find you there.
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (52:59):
Posted yesterday, uh, The Cage We Don't See.
SPEAKER_03 (53:02):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (53:03):
Um, I wrote another I Love Jesus and I'm not a
Christian.
Yeah, there's some there's somegood ones on there.
Awesome stuff.
SPEAKER_03 (53:10):
Okay, awesome.
Well, thank you.
And thank you to all who justcontinue to follow and listen.
Uh, we will be back in the nextcouple weeks.
I think this episode is going tobe dropping right about
Thanksgiving time.
So wishing all of you an amazingThanksgiving, full of love and
gratitude.
And uh yeah, I look forward toseeing y'all in the next
(53:32):
episode.
Reagan, thank you so much forbeing here.
Just can't wait to can't wait toput my arms around you and meet
you.
Right.
You better get here.
I know, right?
But thank you all for listening.
Well, have a have a great restof your week and we'll see you
on the next show.
Thank you for rooting in andrising with me today.
If something in this episodestirred something in you, take a
(53:55):
breath, take what you need, andlet the rest soften.
Be sure to follow the show soyou don't miss what's next.
And if you feel called, sharethis episode or leave a review.
It helps the space grow andreach others on the path.
Until next time, may you walkwith trust, speak with love, and
rise in your own time.
I'm so grateful you were herewith us, and thanks for being
(54:15):
here.
We'll see you on the nextepisode.
In today's episode, we're talking about awakening
through messiness of being humanand how our guest author and
teacher Reagan Carruthers turnedher tragic magic into
transformation.
Let's go.
Welcome to Rooted in Rising.
I'm your host, Tara Michelle,intuitive guide, storyteller,
and fellow traveler on this wildpath of becoming.
(00:23):
This is a space for the soulled, for the ones unraveling old
stories tending to their healingand rising, not perfectly, but
powerfully into who they arehere to be.
Here we explore what it means tolive with intention, to love
with depth, and to trust thateven the hard things are shaping
us.
I'll share pieces of my ownjourney, the cracks, the beauty,
(00:46):
the breakthroughs, and invitevoices who are walking this path
too.
Because I believe life isn'thappening to us, it's happening
for us.
So come as you are, root in andrise up.
And thank you.
Truly thank you for being here.
Welcome back to Rooted inRising, everybody.
It's great to have you heretoday.
I'm joined by someone whosejourney beautifully bridges the
(01:09):
worlds of consciousness,healing, and divine love.
Reagan Carruthers.
Reagan's early life was steepedin mindfulness and spiritual
practice, meditation, tai chi,and the power of divine love.
Yet, like many of us, shestepped away from those roots to
seek belonging and a worldlysuccess, eventually, even rising
as a Silicon Valley executive inthe educational software
(01:32):
industry.
But her outer success masked aninner longing, one that would
lead her back to her truth, todeep healing, and to a life of
purpose and service.
Today, Reagan is the founder ofAsset Yoga Center, guiding
others to cultivate innersovereignty consciousness
response through yoga,one-on-one coaching, and her
(01:54):
ready-to-awaken courses.
And she's now sharing herpowerful story in her new book,
Tragic Magic (01:59):
A Raw and Inspiring Journey Through Love,
Loss Awakening, and the Alchemyof Transformation.
So I welcome you all to sitback, listen, and here we go
with Reagan.
Okay, so welcome Reagan to theshow.
I'm so excited to have you.
I am excited to share your storyor have you share your story
(02:21):
with the listeners.
And um yeah, just reallyfascinated by, you know, where
you started, where you went to,where you've ended up.
And I really I'm just gonna handit over to you and and just have
you start.
Like tell us a little bit moreabout who you are and you know
what has you be here today toshare what you're about to
(02:42):
share.
I think it's really special.
SPEAKER_01 (02:44):
Yeah, thanks.
I'm so glad to be here.
And I'm glad my team found youbecause I feel like you're a
sister.
SPEAKER_03 (02:52):
Yes, kindred spirits over here.
SPEAKER_01 (02:54):
Yeah, totally.
Um, so you know, I think I needto first say I'm a seeker.
Yes, I'm a teacher, but firstand foremost, I'm a seeker on
this quest to embody the love ofGod as best I can every day.
SPEAKER_03 (03:12):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (03:13):
Um, and I don't think I would be desiring that
um without all the things thatcame before now, right?
And what made the mostdifference um in my life was my
mom.
Uh she is this, you know,central, magical, um complicated
(03:41):
force in my life, uh, my firstteacher for sure.
And you know, she just had powerthat she didn't know how to
regulate, and she lackeddiscipline.
So thankfully, you know, I'm mydad's daughter too, and he had
plenty of disciplines.
So that helps.
Um, but she made an importantdecision when I was three years
(04:03):
old to enroll me in a schoolwhere um we meditated every day,
and we did Tai Chi, taught by aChinese immigrant who was a
master of the practice.
When I was a little bit older,she would bring Karillian film
and we would photograph ourenergy field.
SPEAKER_03 (04:25):
That's so amazing.
Like to be able to have that asan experience as a child, right?
So special.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (04:32):
And we, you know, we'd begin the day after
meditation and devotionalsinging.
Uh, Maxwell Maltz, who wrote thebook Psycho Cybernetics, which
birthed the positive psychologymovement, was on the board of my
school.
So, um, you know, his point ofview and his research informed
the pedagogy and certainlyinformed the songs that we sang,
(04:54):
which was all about uh the powerthat that we have.
Um the power to choose.
Uh I mean, I remember yearslater when I was pregnant with
my first son, I went to see thefounder of my grade school and
stayed with her for two weeks.
She was a whiskey drinking, likechain smoking mystic.
(05:18):
But I loved her.
I didn't know that at the time,obviously when I was when I was
young.
But I asked her what she wantedthe lasting legacy of our
education to be.
And she didn't hesitate when Iasked the question.
And she said, I wanted you toknow that every thought and
feeling you have is your choice.
SPEAKER_03 (05:37):
I love that.
SPEAKER_01 (05:39):
I love that.
So that's how it began, right?
And that was in great contrastto what was going on in my home.
Um, my mother diagnosed herselfas a manic depressive in 1961,
surrounded by psychiatrists whocouldn't agree on a diagnosis.
And she just literally pulled itout of the air and said, I'm a
(05:59):
manic depressive.
Um, I don't agree with her.
I mean, I think she had energyregulation problems for her.
Um, but you know, she chose herthird husband, uh, a man she met
in the mental hospital.
Not a great place to find apurpose.
SPEAKER_03 (06:20):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (06:21):
Yeah.
And so he was emotionallyabusive and physically abusive.
And there's probably things Idon't remember, too, that I kind
of sense.
Um yeah, so that was hard tolive with someone who could
embody the greatest love I'veever known.
I mean, her presence changedpeople.
(06:43):
I mean, when she dated KingHussein of Jordan, I have
letters from him talking abouthow she is impacting his
thinking about how to govern hiscountry.
Wow.
Right.
So, anywho, um, and I was very,you know, like her, I was um
very tuned in and connected.
(07:04):
And um, I mean, the word wewould use is psychic, though my
mother always kind of scoffed atthat word because she thought we
all were, um, just a matter ofgetting stuff out of the way.
And um, I would see things, youknow, that the average person
didn't, and I could hearpeople's thoughts, which you
don't want to have access to.
(07:25):
And I was, you know, surroundedby what I would describe as dark
entities at night, probablyattracted to the energetics in
the home.
That I don't, you know, but Idon't know.
SPEAKER_03 (07:38):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (07:39):
And one fateful day I was, you know, tumbling down
in the basement, dancing anddoing gymnastics, which was my
like safe haven that I wouldcreate for myself.
And there he was, this entitythat used to terrorize me,
sitting on the top of my washingmachine in like this fiery
throne, looking kind of demonic.
And I, I mean, the terror I feltat the age of nine, um, I don't
(08:04):
have words for.
And I just ran up the basementstep screaming out loud for it
all to stop.
And it did, the veil came down.
And it wasn't until 27 at anational sales meeting when I'm
a junior executive in theacademic publishing industry
that this same entity uh woke meup in the middle of the night.
(08:24):
And I just looked at him.
First of all, I was asleep, andI awakened, my eyes weren't yet
open, but I knew someone was inmy room.
I could feel it, and I wasterrified.
And I opened my eyes, and therehe was.
And I just looked at him andsaid, Oh, it's you.
It's only you.
I'm not afraid of you.
And I went back to sleep.
(08:45):
And when I woke up the nextmorning, all I could feel was
the love of God, uh, oneness,complete forgiveness for my
stepfather, for these executivesat my work that were behaving
badly, to put it literally.
Uh, and that changed my life.
And I think ever since then,I've been trying to integrate
(09:09):
the wisdom that came in, right?
The energetic change in myphysical system.
Um, and you know, you wake upand the world doesn't change.
No, it doesn't.
And being awake, particularlynow, is not easy.
SPEAKER_03 (09:31):
No.
And so I'm worried ever, but wasit ever?
SPEAKER_01 (09:35):
It was easier.
SPEAKER_03 (09:36):
Was it?
Do you think so?
SPEAKER_01 (09:38):
Oh, definitely.
Uh, it was easier.
Um, you know, it's it's rampingup.
SPEAKER_03 (09:45):
How do you how say more about that?
Uh and I and I asked say moreabout that because I think, you
know, I mean, when you shareyour story, I'm like, oh yeah,
oh yeah, oh yeah.
Because I have a very similar uhwe've we I I don't want to say
the story is similar, but manyof the experiences you've had
(10:05):
have had very similarexperiences, you know, with the
entities, with the being able tofeel see here um at a young age.
And what do you do with that?
You know, and it is terrifying,like there are no words to put.
And so, but how do you see it asas it was easier?
Do you think in terms of likefor me, I there was a point in
(10:26):
my life where I shut it alldown.
I shut it all down, yeah.
And then later woke up againbecause it was it was just
oozing out of me and I couldn'tnot pay attention.
But yeah, share more about thatbecause I do feel that there's a
lot of people today that arewaking up, maybe have always had
(10:47):
been aware of their powers, butnot able to put words to it.
Um, I say powers, maybe I shouldsay gifts, and also like when
you talk about psychic, youknow, I I I feel so weird today
when people say, So what do youdo?
And I'm like, you know,especially I have this business
where I work with realtors andaligning their spaces, the
houses.
And it's I've eventually have totell people I'm psychic, but
(11:10):
that just sounds so weird.
You know, it's it doesn'tbecause it it doesn't it it
doesn't fit because I feel likewe all have these gifts, right?
We're all so so yeah, sharemore.
Sorry, I just kind of opened upa bag of worms.
SPEAKER_01 (11:24):
Well, I mean, I I think this is again how it feels
to me.
Doesn't mean I'm right.
Um I feel like the the shadow umis becoming more visible in in
the collective.
Um, you know, the the forcesthat have always run this place.
SPEAKER_03 (11:44):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (11:44):
Since the dawn of time.
SPEAKER_03 (11:46):
Umennia, way before we could even write books about
it.
SPEAKER_01 (11:51):
Exactly.
And as we as a collective,either consciously or
unconsciously rise in frequencyand awaken to the truth, it's
like shining a light on thatshadow.
It's becoming more visible.
And so what would a shadow wantto do if it feels like it's
(12:16):
being seen?
Well, it's gonna ramp up and bemore shadowy, you know, try to
do as much that it can to regaincontrol, right?
Or to persist in control.
And I think that's where we areright now.
SPEAKER_03 (12:34):
100%.
SPEAKER_01 (12:35):
Um, yeah, so I mean it's not easy, and um we all
have to up our time in the quietand up our time hanging out with
the light, the light, you know,the light within the heart, but
the light that is the source ofour own light, right?
(12:55):
The big light, right?
The light with the capital L.
Yes.
Um, you know, yesterday when Iwas just feeling like it was
almost like right on thesurface, this desire to cry,
like this desire to grieve wherewe truly are.
Right.
And I just, you know, felt it.
(13:16):
I mean, I didn't deny it, but Iconnected in the heart and I
just asked God, you know, whatdo you want of me?
What what what more can I do?
And the voice said, spend moretime with me.
SPEAKER_03 (13:31):
I think that voice is saying that to everybody
right now.
Yeah.
You know, quiet.
Yes, spend more time.
SPEAKER_01 (13:40):
Yeah, and spend more time outside in nature, like
nature.
These very basic things likewalk barefoot in the grass, yes,
connect to the earth, um, yes,connect to the God that you
know, yes, um, whatever that is.
SPEAKER_03 (13:59):
Whatever that is, because it yeah, it could be I I
really want the listeners tohear that it, you know, um it
really is whatever, whateverthat is to you.
This isn't about, you know, acertain type of religious
understanding.
It's just like whatever thatconnection is, whatever that
(14:20):
power is, whatever you resonatewith, connect more with that
because that's where and I meanit's a shame that God can be a
triggering word.
SPEAKER_01 (14:31):
It is today, you know, and and that's because of
the humans.
Yes, that has nothing to do withGod, nothing to do with it.
Um, and so I try to be, youknow, true to that.
There's other spiritual teachersthat'll say universe instead.
It's like, well, no, you don'twant to connect with the
universe.
There's a lot in the universethat you don't want to connect
(14:54):
to, and part of it is what'shere, it's part of it is that
dark energy that's here.
Yeah, yeah.
No, no, universe, parts of theuniverse, certainly.
Yeah, absolutely.
So, you know, for me, God isthis impersonal love that you
don't have words for, like thewords are inadequate to
(15:17):
describe.
It's an energy, right?
It's a it's a consciousness.
Um, so yeah.
Um, I don't know, there's a lotmore to say about almost 59
years that I've lived on thiscrazy rock.
Right.
Um yeah, but I hope that givesyour, you know, your lift.
SPEAKER_03 (15:37):
Yeah, and say more because I know you went through
a pretty big transition when youleft.
You were living in Santa Cruzand more recently.
SPEAKER_00 (15:50):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (15:51):
Talk more about that because I feel like you know,
when we were talking a littlebit, that has a lot to do.
Yeah, that has a lot to do withwith what's happening for you
and and this transition andreally what you're here to
share.
The light you're here.
SPEAKER_01 (16:04):
Yeah.
So um before that, though, um,after my awakening, right, and I
returned to St.
Louis uh from my meeting to aworld and a household and a
husband that hadn't changed,right?
I'd had this dramaticexperience, was able to heal my
(16:25):
stepfather through an energetictransmission I was holding.
He's now the kindest, sweetestman, and that's been true for
over 30 years.
Um, so that was initially like,wow, okay.
Um I immediately got pregnantwith my first son.
(16:46):
I knew when his spirit enteredmy body and I greeted him.
That was like day one ofreturning to St.
Louis after my awakening.
SPEAKER_03 (16:54):
So he's a pretty lucky guy to come in in that at
that time, that energy.
Yeah, yes.
SPEAKER_01 (17:01):
He certainly did that on purpose.
And so I found myself um veryquickly working for a woman
named uh Dr.
Peggy Jenkins, who had writtenthe book Joyful Child.
If you haven't written read thatbook or Nurturing Spirituality
in Children, her other book,please do.
I think you'd love it.
(17:23):
Um, so I was doing parenteducation for her, and um, you
know, kind of her pedagogy andwhat she had created reminded me
so much of my early schooling.
And uh she was good friends withuh Joseph Chilton Pierce.
And um he had written, you know,the crack and the cosmic egg and
(17:43):
magical child and some reallygroundbreaking books.
And he suggested to her that shecheck out the Heart Math
Institute, which had recentlyformed.
Well, she was in her 70s and shedidn't want to leave Sedona, so
she asked me to.
So this was 1995, just four fouryears after the institute um set
(18:07):
up their shingle in the SantaCruz Mountains.
And I knew uh going to my firstretreat that that was where I
was supposed to be.
There's a lot of reasons forthat that I detail in my book.
Like I had this patheticrepetitive dream as a child that
let me know that these were, youknow, the same, same people.
(18:29):
So in a few years I was staffedthere, uh leading retreats and
programs for business audienceswith Bruce Cryer.
So we would do executive renewaland interquality management
retreats on site.
They don't do that anymore, butpeople would come to the
institute for that.
And then a decision was made togo to market, to actually go to
(18:52):
major market cities.
And so Bruce and I were thebusiness face of heart math um
at that time in the 90s.
Um, yeah, so I, you know, packedup the Volvo and took my husband
and my four-year-old son and uh,you know, accepted an offer to
work there for$12 an hour.
I mean, people thought I was,you know, nuts.
(19:13):
And I told my mom, you know,that I had this, you know, kind
of heart directive to go there.
And she's like, oh, go, honey.
I don't even know why I stilllive in St.
Louis.
But she looked at me, and Ithink I told you this when we
spoke the first time.
She goes, but honey, nobody'sgonna change because they go to
your workshop.
SPEAKER_03 (19:32):
I love that, by the way.
I love that and she and she'sright, right?
It takes a lot more than that.
It sure does.
SPEAKER_01 (19:38):
Um, but anyway, heart math wasn't my place.
Um, I don't need to get into it.
I appreciate the work that theyput out in the world because
it's good, it's transformative,but it was a stop in the
journey.
It was a stop in the journey,and my husband at the time
announced that we were runningout of money.
So that meant as a mother,again, I had a uh basically an
(20:04):
infant, my second son, and Iknew what that meant.
So I, you know, returned tocorporate life.
Uh and I stayed in corporatelife for about the next 18
years, um, returning to academicpublishing, which is the work I
had known, and then you know,the internet was kind of
(20:27):
changing content.
SPEAKER_03 (20:29):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (20:29):
Uh yeah, so I just stayed in that space.
Uh, worked uh in Silicon Valleyfor venture-funded startups,
worked for the leadership of theCalifornia State University
system for the chancellor forsix years on academic innovation
projects.
Yeah, and all the while tryingto stay connected to what I had
awakened to.
(20:50):
Um and I wasn't yeah, and Iwasn't that disciplined, you
know.
Um, I just wasn't.
I I was busy and I had athree-hour one-way commute to
San Francisco.
Yep.
Um, yeah, I was just yeah, I wasa single mom.
I finally had the courage todivorce my husband of over 20
years because that was justyeah, dysfunctional.
(21:14):
Yeah, and so okay to answer yourquestion because there was a lot
I needed to say in between.
Okay, but now it is um Decemberof 2021.
We are now on year two of theCOVID lockdowns in California.
SPEAKER_03 (21:32):
Talk about crazy, yes.
SPEAKER_01 (21:34):
Yeah, there's a whole chapter in my book called
Madness about that.
But anyway, I had traveled toJoshua Tree uh to work on my
book, Tragic Magic.
And I, you know, I just neededto be alone.
Golly, I mean, that was one ofthe challenges of being locked
down.
There's no privacy, you know.
We couldn't even walk thebeaches, you'd get escorted by a
(21:56):
cop with an AK.
I mean, it was just so nuts.
SPEAKER_03 (22:00):
God, I was in Texas.
SPEAKER_01 (22:01):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I um went to Joshua to Treeto walk work on the book, and I
always had a ritual.
Um, I was praying andmeditating.
I was probably more disciplinedthan I give myself credit for.
But anyway, um, deep in thepresence, and I receive you must
(22:25):
urgently move home.
And I knew that voice.
It's a voice I've been connectedto since I can remember.
Yeah.
So I literally looked at myphone to see if I had enough
bars to make a phone callbecause I was in the middle of
the high desert.
I did.
I called a friend in St.
Louis because that was home, whowas a realtor.
And I said, Andrea, will youwork with me?
(22:47):
God wants me home.
And she said, Of course.
So then I called my husbandnext, told him what had
happened.
He said, Well, I'm not gettingin the way of you and God.
And so he made arrangements uhfor me to fly out of Palm
Springs to St.
Louis the following day.
Um thank God he responded theway that he did.
Yes, yes, um, such a beautifulman.
(23:09):
And um, yeah, and I knew St.
Louis wasn't it.
I was like, Andrea, this justthis isn't right.
So again, tune back in and Ireceive Franklin County.
I'm like, I don't even know whatthat means.
So I tell her, and it's about anhour west of St.
Louis, and I end up finding thehome where I now live.
(23:31):
So anyway, you know, peoplethink I'm being dramatic, right?
That like you're you'relistening to voices in your head
and doing what it says, likeright, and I just knew, and I
and I was clear what I wasdoing, and my husband was
unconditional in his support.
And so within three months, uh,we had moved to rural Missouri.
(23:54):
I had found 10 acres and thisbeautiful home and um this big
garage that I converted into myyoga center, which I call my
come work on your shit center.
And um, yeah, so I get here, I'mteaching yoga on my back lawn, I
find a contractor to work on,you know, the redesign of the
(24:15):
garage.
And again, in my quiet time, Iand again, I'm not asking.
All I mean in the prayer part ofmy ritual is I ask for the
insights and the resources andthe people to come forth to live
my highest good and to be ableto make my highest contribution
(24:40):
to humanity at the time, right?
So, anyway, I hear uh go to adoctor, and it says like urgent,
like don't delay kind ofmessage.
And I'm like, okay, and you livein the country, you can actually
see a doctor, right?
SPEAKER_03 (24:56):
Yeah, yeah.
It's not three months from nowwe can get you in.
SPEAKER_01 (25:01):
If I was back in Santa Cruz, I mean who knows
when it would have been, right?
Um, so I see him the next day.
And what do doctors do?
First thing they do is they takethat stethoscope and they listen
to your heart.
And he does, and he looks at me,he goes, Reagan, something's
terribly wrong.
He said, We need to get youscheduled for an echocardiogram
as quickly as possible.
He heard a very loud murmur.
(25:23):
So we do.
That's the next day, becauseagain, I'm in a small town and
there's a hospital here.
And so, two days from heedingthat call to go to a doctor, I
learn I'm dying.
And that I have a birth defectin my heart.
And if your listeners read mybook, that'll make sense to them
(25:43):
why I was born with a brokenheart.
Um, and I needed open heartsurgery to replace my aortic
valve.
Not an inconsequential surgery,and certainly not one you want
to do at Dominican Hospital inSanta Cruz, right?
You know, oh my god and in St.
Louis, Barnes Hospital, where Iwas born, just happens to be one
(26:05):
of the best cardiac surgerycenters in the world.
SPEAKER_03 (26:09):
That's particularly for aortic valve replacement.
I just got chills because it'sjust like just all the
alignment, right?
All the alignment, all thealignment.
So amazing.
SPEAKER_01 (26:18):
Yeah.
So December, I'm told to movehome.
I get here in March.
I'm told in late May to go to adoctor.
I learn in early June I'm dying.
I have open heart surgery inJuly.
And uh that was on a Fridaymorning.
I was cleared from the ICU thefollowing morning, which is
(26:38):
unusual.
SPEAKER_03 (26:40):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (26:41):
And I'm home by Tuesday.
SPEAKER_03 (26:43):
Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01 (26:44):
And come Tuesday, Ralph Damiano, who runs all of
it at Barnes, he's the head ofcardiothoracic surgery, who was
my surgeon, comes to see me.
And he'd already told my husbandand children this, but he kind
of pats my leg playfully andthen looks quite like a surgeon
and says, Reagan, uh, there isno medical explanation of you.
(27:08):
So if you have point less than0.2 centimeters for blood to
flow through your aortic valve,it's considered incapable of
supporting life.
And mine was less than that.
And I was teaching yoga.
So he's like, not only do we notunderstand how you were alive,
like I don't understand how youwalked, like anything.
(27:30):
And I just looked at him, andyou know, this might be
triggering for people, but it'sthe truth.
And I said, Do you believe inJesus Christ?
I said, and I asked that from awide point of view, right?
As a yoga teacher, I believe inhim, yeah, but not the rest.
Yeah.
Um, and he said, I do.
I said, Well, that's the onlyexplanation I have.
(27:53):
Because when I learned I wasdying, it was immediate.
All I wanted was to hang outwith him, and not Jesus, right?
Yeshua, that's the name, right?
Absolutely, yeah.
And I just wanted to know him.
I just wanted to know him in anew way.
(28:15):
Um, so I reread all the GnosticGospels, you know, the things
that they did in a jar toprotect them, you know, just
like today.
Read the things that they'retrying to censor.
That's probably more the truth,right?
SPEAKER_03 (28:30):
I was just gonna say, anything they take down,
anything they censor, that's thetruth.
Anything they tell you, oh no,it's this other thing.
No, that's the lie.
That's the lie.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (28:41):
So yeah, I just wanted to know him.
And um, I had no fear of deathgoing into my surgery, not just
because of the love that I couldconnect to and my understanding,
but in my 20s after myawakening, and I was terrorized
for years after my awakening,like pulled out of my body
against my will, like like itwas a Jedi initiation.
(29:05):
Like, anyway, I describe it inthe book.
But I learned through that wholeprocess in time how to exit my
body at will and return.
So when you know how to do that,I don't do it now, it's like not
recreation, it's just like itteaches you two things that
(29:25):
you're not your body, no, andthat there's something eternal
about the truth of who you are.
Yes, so yeah, death of the body,and uh we are physically then
separate, we're not in thisdimension.
Uh but that's about it in termsof the change.
(29:49):
And so I was like, you know,praying come, you know, the
preparations I needed to do, youknow, physically and other tests
and things.
I just prayed for the highestgood.
I didn't pray to be healed.
I didn't know if physicallyhealing was what was in my
highest.
(30:10):
Yeah.
How could I know?
SPEAKER_03 (30:11):
Yeah.
And I I love that you point thatout because lately today I've
been really sensing that interms of, you know, when I say
the highest good, when I say thehighest good, doesn't mean the
outcome that I have in my mind.
Usually not, actually.
Right.
Because there's other peopleinvolved.
(30:31):
You know, there's other, it's inthe highest good of all.
Of all.
Yeah.
And that may not look the wayyou think it should look.
unknown (30:42):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (30:42):
You know.
Though I will say when I resumedconsciousness in the ICU, I
expected to be there.
I mean, I wasn't reallyconscious that that was what I
knew.
But once I awakened from all ofthat, um, yeah, I knew.
I knew.
And I will say, because I hadlife-threatening heart
(31:06):
inflammation post-surgery, I wasbasically in bed for six months.
And in my two ER visits, mysurgical nurse, um, the one that
cut me open, um, would come andsee me.
And the first time she did, shesaid, you know, Reagan, I don't
have words for what weexperienced in the OR that day.
(31:29):
Oh.
She said, We all knew that wewere experiencing a miracle.
I mean, my surgeon had to scrapebone off my heart for two hours.
Um, she said, so I'll she said,you know, I'm forever changed
from what went on.
And we also, she and I had kindof a fun moment because as I
(31:51):
was, and again, this might betriggering for your listeners,
but sorry, it's my truth.
Um, as I was getting wheeled in,you know, and everybody's
masked, of course.
And I just looked at my team.
I had brought them gifts and andI had written them letters and
had distributed that, you know,prior to the surgery.
(32:12):
Um, but I just looked at themand I said, if you can't
guarantee that blood I may needdoesn't have the COVID vaccine
in it, I don't want it.
SPEAKER_02 (32:24):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (32:25):
So no blood transfusion for me.
SPEAKER_03 (32:29):
No.
SPEAKER_01 (32:29):
And my nurse, she like bends over and whispers in
my ear and she goes, Oh my god,you fucking get it.
And that was literally the lastthing I heard that you remember
for I was yeah, yeah, it's sotrue, so true.
SPEAKER_03 (32:51):
Yeah, don't put anything in my body, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (32:55):
Yeah, so um, anywho, here I am on my 10 acres, an
hour west of St.
Louis, and I will say, you know,Santa Cruz lost its mind.
Um, Santa Cruz Yes, we werethere.
SPEAKER_03 (33:11):
Well, we were there pre-COVID, but I felt that it
had pre-COVID.
I mean, the whole Bay Area wasunrecognizable to me.
And I left California in 2007,moved to Arizona, came back in
2014, and uh it wasunrecognizable, unrecognizable.
(33:32):
Just the way people behaved, howpeople treated you.
I mean, the economy was out ofout of control, but everything
about everything about it hadchanged, really changed.
And I can only imagine how evenmore devastating it was during
the time of lockdown andpre-lockdown and after, and
(33:54):
still is, I think today.
I mean, it is probably not asbad, but still, it is very
changed.
SPEAKER_01 (34:01):
Yeah, it's it's definitely unwell.
Um, beautiful, yeah.
The beauty of Santa Cruz andMonterey.
I lived, you know, south andaptos in the Seascape
neighborhood.
I mean, it was that's where wewere.
SPEAKER_03 (34:18):
Yeah, we were there.
We were in Benlohman.
We were in Benlohman, BonnieDune, but we were also in
Seascape.
So yeah, just beautiful.
SPEAKER_00 (34:26):
So weird because I was in Boulder Creek.
SPEAKER_03 (34:28):
I know, like we, yeah, we were we were orbiting
each other.
Even at even at the boulevard.
unknown (34:36):
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (34:37):
All right, like which is super wild, super wild.
SPEAKER_01 (34:41):
Exactly.
So, you know, given that I, youknow, that there's no medical
explanation of how I'm evenhere, right?
Um, boy, does that just orientyou more and more to service, or
at least it did me.
And so, you know, I teach yogaas an act of service, um, always
(35:02):
will, because I really see thatas an amazing opportunity for
people, and not just asana, youknow, everybody thinks of yoga
as asana, um, the physicalpractice.
So much more, you know, to itthat's probably even more
important than asana.
Um yeah, and I teach heart math,I do charge for that.
(35:26):
Um, I've got this halotechnology here now that's
really making such a differencein people's lives.
SPEAKER_03 (35:33):
What is halo technology?
Say more about that.
SPEAKER_01 (35:36):
So, you know, everything's frequency,
everything's energy.
So think remember like in StarTrek when you when they would go
through that tube and they'dcome out the other end and
they're all butter.
Yeah.
So we are in like the infancy ofthat.
That, yes.
And so what the halo is, it's uman electromagnetic frequency
(36:00):
machine that you can customizeand set frequencies for
different purposes.
And it's not a singularfrequency, it's multiple
frequencies working at once.
And uh, so let's say someonecomes and they're overweight.
Well, that means they'reinflamed.
(36:21):
Right?
I mean, that's just so I alwaysset an inflammation frequency
for those that come in with moreweight than you know they'd like
to have, you know, they'retrying, but um, let's say you've
got, you know, chronic digestiveissues.
Well, there's a frequency forthat.
Um, let's say you have troublesleeping.
(36:44):
There's a frequency for that.
Anyway, I have so manyfrequencies because my best
friend is a product manager forHalo.
She actually makes them andblesses them.
SPEAKER_03 (36:53):
Oh, that's amazing.
SPEAKER_01 (36:55):
Um, she was kind enough to um sort of share this
with me and teach me how best touse it.
So I have, you know, people thatcome and I just heard from
somebody yesterday that was herefor an hour, and she's like,
Reagan, I slept like a baby, andyet when I first got home, I was
so productive and so focused.
(37:16):
So think of it like a cellularrecharge.
SPEAKER_03 (37:20):
Reboost, yeah, reset, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (37:23):
Or different, you know, different cells have
different functions, right?
Um, so anyway, it's kind of likean automated heart math machine.
SPEAKER_03 (37:32):
I love that.
I love that.
That's amazing.
I'm like, I want to come.
I want to come do it.
Well, you you should.
SPEAKER_00 (37:38):
I know I already told you to.
SPEAKER_03 (37:40):
I know.
SPEAKER_01 (37:41):
Um yeah.
So anyway, what what I reallywant people to understand.
SPEAKER_03 (37:48):
What what is the thing that you really want
people to take away today?
And I mean, obviously, I want toput links to where they can find
you.
Sure.
To the book, but yeah, what iswhat is your big message for
everyone today?
SPEAKER_01 (38:01):
It's no fun, they're not gonna like it.
Yeah, it's discipline ofpractice to be disciplined,
yeah.
Um, to show up for yourselfevery day, particularly when you
don't want to, right?
Discipline's different frommotivation, right?
Motivation is I'm motivated,yeah.
(38:22):
Discipline is, oh God, I don'twant to do this, and you do it
anyway.
SPEAKER_03 (38:26):
You still have to do it, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (38:28):
Yeah, so time in the heart, right?
Focusing first the breath, yeah,reconnect to the most profound
love you've ever known, ideallyan impersonal love, though, you
know, work with whatever you'vegot and and be in the felt sense
of that, right?
Re-experience the feeling ofthat, because that becomes the
(38:50):
energetic scaffolding to connectto the love of God.
SPEAKER_03 (38:56):
I'm gonna have you explain that more because I
don't know of the listeners.
I mean, I've known of heart mathfor a long time, and I would
imagine there's some listenerslistening to this that are very
familiar with heart math,because I think heart math has
today, we could say has becomemore mainstream, but I would say
there's still a lot of peoplethat don't know what that is.
And when you talk about, youknow, um tapping into that
(39:17):
resonance of a memory or athought of the love and the
frequency, say more about whatyou mean with that.
Because I think that when a whenpeople hear what you say, and
I'm just gonna speak to, I don'twant to say your average person,
none of us are average, but Iwant to say the person who's
just out there plugged into alot of what's happening
(39:39):
media-wise, doesn't feel thatthere's any hope, doesn't feel
that they could get connected toany space of love, you know,
what what would you tell them?
How could they take that momentto tap into that?
And to then, and then what isit?
What would they be looking tofeel?
(40:00):
Because what I see energeticallyis people that hear that,
they're even gonna just struggleto feel that frequency rise up
from the soles of their feet tothe top of their head because
there's so much density stuck intheir body, because so many
people again, right?
So many people are plugged intoall that that noise and chaos,
(40:24):
yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (40:24):
They're plugged into the matrix for sure.
So um, well, let's instead oftalking about it, let's do it.
Okay, yeah, let's do it.
Okay, and and what heart mathreally is before we do, you
know, they basically tookancient wisdom and packaged it
in a biomedical model for theWestern mind.
Not to take anything away fromthem, but there's nothing
(40:47):
believe in science.
There's nothing new, likenewsflash.
There's nothing new here.
This is a very old thing inBuddhism.
It's called metta.
Um, anyway, so let's all justget a comfortable seat, ideally.
And um, if that's notcomfortable for whatever reason,
(41:08):
lie down.
It can work that way too.
And go ahead and close the eyesand put one hand over the center
of the chest, over the heart,and then the other hand over the
hand, right?
Just to help you kind ofconnect.
And before we get into theheart, I'd like you to first
(41:30):
feel your feet on the ground.
Feel your sit bones in yourseat.
Or if you're lying down, justfeel the length of your body on
the ground on the earth.
Just try to deepen thatconnection for a few moments.
(41:54):
I even like to imagine liketaproots descending down through
the soles of my feet.
Okay, so from this groundedplace with the hands over the
heart, I want you to take aninhale to a count of five
through your nose, and thenexhale out of your nose to the
(42:19):
same count.
Don't try too hard.
Just try to find an easefulrhythm of breath.
With the focus of the breathbeing the center of the chest
where your hands are through theheart.
(42:40):
Almost as if you're breathingthrough this part of you.
Now recall a time in your lifewhen you felt love.
(43:02):
For some reason that's notaccessible, something you're
grateful for.
It could be a person, it couldbe a thing.
Maybe you've had one of thoseinexplicable, impersonal moments
where you just felt the presenceof something so loving, so
(43:30):
intelligent.
But just work with whatever youhave.
It's all good in this way.
And once you've remembered thatmoment in time, go beyond what
it looks like and re-experiencethe feeling.
SPEAKER_00 (43:53):
As you continue to breathe through the heart.
SPEAKER_01 (44:04):
Knowing that as you do with every beat of the heart,
you're creating thiselectromagnetic wave of energy.
It's a giant donut, it's a torusshape all around you.
This is what you're thenbroadcasting out to your
(44:25):
community, to your household, tothe larger world, because energy
has no end, right?
We have limitations in terms ofhow we can measure it.
I sincerely believe the morethat we do this, the more the
world can change.
unknown (44:45):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (44:46):
This is how we combat the darkness.
unknown (44:49):
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (45:00):
I 100% agree with that.
100%.
And I feel amazing.
I'm like, uh.
SPEAKER_01 (45:08):
Well, and and we start wherever we are, you know,
like for me, let's say I've hada shitty night's sleep and it's
time to connect.
Well, it's gonna take me alittle longer to get into the
real felt sense of the love thatI've known.
SPEAKER_00 (45:23):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (45:24):
But that process of intending, that process of
efforting in that way createsbiochemical changes, energetic
changes, strengthens the immunesystem.
I mean, all sorts of thingshappen, much less this wave of
energy that people can feel, youknow, like when people come into
(45:47):
my space, they're like, wow, itfeels amazing in here.
It's not me, it's my practice,it's the energy that created us,
right?
That loves us, that has anintelligence that is smarter,
frankly, than us.
SPEAKER_03 (46:06):
So it's and that's you know, it's funny.
Uh the piece I keep hearing thatI know I'm um embarking on the
word of mastery is not probablythe word, but really deeply
knowing in my mind and body isallowing, right?
(46:30):
You know, so taking thatpractice that you just provided
and then allowing, because weare such doing machines.
And when you take that practicethat you just offered all of us,
which was a pure gift.
So please, if you're driving,please stop when you have time
and go back and do it, becauseyou will be like, oh my God.
(46:52):
And maybe while you weredriving, you might have even
felt a frequency come around youand you were feeling relaxed.
But it then inside of that, it'sit's listening for the whispers,
allowing, and then, and thentake an action.
And because we can get so caughtup in that monkey mind of the
(47:15):
doingness and the clutter andthe noise.
And then you keep wondering,like, why does my life keep
turning out this way that Idon't want it to be?
And that is because we're notstopping in the moment to be
present, to feel, to expressthat frequency, um, to drink it
in, honestly, like drink it in,and then allow whatever is to
(47:37):
unfold from that moment.
And that's when, and I think inthat allowance, you will find
God, Jesus, but I'm gonna sayGod will bring you everything
you need, everything, and you'renever not supported, you are
(48:00):
always divinely held anddivinely supported, and the only
reason why your world outsidedoes not look like it is because
you're trapped inside the matrixwithin, and you have stories
running in the background, andand it's with that practice you
just provided us is really asimple tool to start breaking
(48:23):
down that inner mind, that innerdialogue, and all of the inner
noise and the clutter and theblocks and the darkness, all of
it.
But yeah, I don't know.
Just had to say that.
Just had to say that.
SPEAKER_01 (48:35):
Yeah, I mean, it's kind of like what Da Vinci said
about how he sculpted, right?
Like he just chipped away thethings in the way, and yeah, and
that's true for us, right?
We're divine, yes, all themaster teachers have said the
same thing, right?
We are this unique expression ofthe divine, and our job in this
(49:01):
incarnated choice that we'vemade to come to this crazy place
is is to learn how to embodythat quality of love,
particularly when it's hard.
Yes, the master teachers didn'tsay, you know, love people only
with a complimentary point ofview.
I don't think that was eversaid.
(49:23):
No, no, no, and so that wholeprocess begins and ends with the
embodiment of love, yes, and umall the things that don't align
frequency-wise with that qualityof energy that you're learning
to self-generate begin to fallaway, falls off that also means
(49:47):
people, yes, relationships,jobs, all of it, because this is
the hard medicine, all of it isa reflection of yourself, yes,
um uh like who wants really OFexactly and yet you know you
(50:11):
learn that if you're payingattention in high school physics
or whatever, the law ofresonance, yes, is you know, the
energetics of you, you drawsimilar energetics to you, yes,
reflecting right back at you.
Change your vibration, changeyour life.
That's actually on my website,yeah, like a section.
SPEAKER_03 (50:35):
Yeah, I love that.
I love that.
Oh, this has been beautiful, andI just am so I feel so blessed
that we were brought togetherand so honored to have you on
this show.
And you know, to all those thatare listening, just uh it's a
(50:55):
simple practice.
And I would love to hear thoseof you who take it on, or even
while we were doing it, likewhat happened for you, what
shifted, what opened up?
Comment below.
Um, but Reagan, I'm gonna makesure that everybody has all the
links to find you and how theycan get in touch with you.
Is there anything else you'dlike to say before we wrap up
(51:16):
this show today?
SPEAKER_01 (51:17):
Well, I'd love for them to go on Amazon or Barnes
and Noble and buy my memoir,Tragic Magic.
I mean, I wrote it for thereader, right?
I'd already processed my life.
Like I um, but God asked me towrite it, and I think you'll
find hope in my story, and Ithink you'll also relate to the
(51:39):
mess.
Yeah, right.
You know, like it's not like,oh, life has just been unicorns
and rainbows for rape.
SPEAKER_03 (51:48):
It yeah, actually, it's like the opposite.
It is, and and that, and that,you know, uh, you know, to
remind people also that arelistening, the whole premise and
the whole context of why evencreated this podcast was to have
people get life is happening foryou, it's not happening to you.
And so all those things youshared today, and all those
(52:10):
moments when you listened andyou allowed and you had the
awakening, and it was alldriving you to this moment,
right?
And then to this moment, thismoment we're standing, is now
propelling you into whatever thenext season is.
And life is always happening forus to grow, to shift, to change,
to create, because we are themaster creators, which is
(52:30):
something we have forgottenabout.
We are the master creators, wecreate this, we are creating it.
So, yeah, so FYI reminder,y'all.
SPEAKER_01 (52:41):
Yeah, and I'm taking a break on like Instagram and
Facebook right now, and I'mwriting on Substack.
So if they just search my nameon Substack.
Oh, I love Substack.
If they happen to be on there,please subscribe.
It doesn't cost you anything.
Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_03 (52:55):
I just post that I'll find you there.
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (52:59):
Posted yesterday, uh, The Cage We Don't See.
SPEAKER_03 (53:02):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (53:03):
Um, I wrote another I Love Jesus and I'm not a
Christian.
Yeah, there's some there's somegood ones on there.
Awesome stuff.
SPEAKER_03 (53:10):
Okay, awesome.
Well, thank you.
And thank you to all who justcontinue to follow and listen.
Uh, we will be back in the nextcouple weeks.
I think this episode is going tobe dropping right about
Thanksgiving time.
So wishing all of you an amazingThanksgiving, full of love and
gratitude.
And uh yeah, I look forward toseeing y'all in the next
(53:32):
episode.
Reagan, thank you so much forbeing here.
Just can't wait to can't wait toput my arms around you and meet
you.
Right.
You better get here.
I know, right?
But thank you all for listening.
Well, have a have a great restof your week and we'll see you
on the next show.
Thank you for rooting in andrising with me today.
If something in this episodestirred something in you, take a
(53:55):
breath, take what you need, andlet the rest soften.
Be sure to follow the show soyou don't miss what's next.
And if you feel called, sharethis episode or leave a review.
It helps the space grow andreach others on the path.
Until next time, may you walkwith trust, speak with love, and
rise in your own time.
I'm so grateful you were herewith us, and thanks for being
(54:15):
here.
We'll see you on the nextepisode.
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