May 4, 2026 • 60 mins
This week we dark a dark turn with the Album Bloodletting by Concrete Blonde. A dark work, the album would mark the last time the band would be able to handle such material again. Long a favorite band of many musicians including local megastars Propagandhi, the album cemented a place in my own greatest albums of all time list, with a perfect 10 out of 10. But just why is that and why does this album not get the spins on Sean’s CD Player that often anymore. We go deep folks and travel into some dark territory, so be warned and take heed, this episode might not be for you. If you are triggered by content that deals with death, depression and suicide, please skip this one. This episode was helping me deal with my own trauma and I needed to do this for me. And if this helps someone else, I am incredibly grateful.
We care about our listeners. If you or someone in your life is going through a difficult time and needs support, please don't hesitate to reach out. Call or text 988, or visit 988.ca for immediate help. You matter, and help is available.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
Hey, folks, new episode of theSean Geek and Fast RIT podcast.
And I'm putting an episodewarning at the beginning of this
one.
We're gonna kind of get intosome very, very heady topics that
might be difficult for some.
This is a very difficultepisode to record for myself.
We're gonna be dealing withdepression, heavy depression, going
(00:25):
to be dealing with suicide.
And look, if this.
If this content's not for you,I'm more than okay if you guys skip
this one.
This is one I needed to do formyself and get out there and talk
about some really heady stuffabout a really heady album that deals
with all of that stuff,Concrete Blondes, Bloodletting, which
(00:46):
is not for everybody.
And even though it is anincredibly important album for myself,
it's an album that I can'tusually listen to because of how
heavy the topics of suicideand depression feature on this album.
And we're going to be coveringthis album in full.
So back away now if this istoo much for you.
(01:09):
And remember, there's alwayssomebody out there you can talk to.
If you are not feeling goodand feeling suicidal or anything
like that.
Please, please reach out to somebody.
You know, there is the suicidecrisis helpline in Canada you can
call, which is 988.
There's always somebody thereto talk to you.
(01:31):
Always somebody there to getyou through it.
And please look after yourself.
Please take care of yourself,and please reach out.
Welcome to the.
Sean, Geek and Fast podcast.
Yeah, you got it, folks.
It's me again with a littleantitude for all you out here in
(01:52):
White bread.
We're on 92fm and it feelslike a nice clean little band.
So far, no one else is using it.
The price is right did youfind you Crusty Dave?
This is bigger than friendship.
This is what you call cosmic.
(02:12):
The Buddhists call it, let mesee, Reincarnation.
Musi.
Musi.
Hey, wait a minute.
Since when is Pismo beach in inside.
A cave, I wonder.
You know, I just bet we shouldhave turned left at Albuquerque and
(02:33):
then maybe a right turn at La Jola.
Shush.
Hush, please.
Concrete Blondes Bloodletting.
(02:54):
Holy crap.
Incredibly impactful album for me.
Incredibly difficult album for me.
But let's get into this.
So this came out in 1990.
It was the third studio albumby the band Concrete Blonde.
They were getting some headwayon the previous albums, and they're
(03:17):
kind of, you know, doingreally good.
And then this album came outand Joey was a single and the.
The lead track to the album Bloodletting.
Itself.
Was a gothic reimagining ofmany things.
It was, I don't know, it was great.
(03:40):
Now how I discovered thisalbum is kind of.
There's a multiple ways that I did.
Primarily it was at James'shouse and he had a party and he pops
this cassette into his stereoand I'm like, holy shit, this is
really good.
What the heck is this?
And I hadn't heard theprevious two albums.
(04:00):
I was unfamiliar with the bandand I was heavily reading into Anne
Rice's stuff at the time.
And I'm like, wow, this islike a perfect soundtrack to Interview
with the Vampire.
So I'm like, what the heck?
This is like perfect.
And I'm, you know, opening upthe cassette and opening up the.
(04:21):
The lyric sheet inside andreading through lyrics.
Oh my God, this is like.
This is hitting everything Ireally want to hear in an album.
And it's absolutely fantastic.
So I sought it out on my ownlater and took a lot of read a lot
of listen throughs and a lotof read throughs of the lyrics too.
And the one thing I kind ofnoticed was, was that it totally
(04:44):
fit my aesthetic at the timebecause, I don't know, preemptively,
I knew it was going to come.
But the passing of my bestfriend Richard, which was going to
happen a few years later, itwas always in the cards and it was
always something we alwaystalked about because he had a.
(05:05):
He had something wrong with him.
And the doctors had beenpredicting he wouldn't survive ever
since he was like three orfour years old.
And, you know, we're now inour 20s and he had already outlived
his lifespan that the doctorshad said many times over.
And it was always in the back.
Of my mind and I was alwaysfearing it was going to come.
(05:30):
And I guess since the realization.
That,.
You know, when you're kids youdon't really think about things like
that, but you know, as you getolder there's like, wow, like he
could really go at any time.
Something could happen at any time.
(05:50):
And so I was in like a verybig depression about that.
And I carried that depressionwith me all the time.
So this album kind of was awarm blanket for me leading up to
his passing.
(06:12):
And I don't know, for somereason at the time, I guess it made
me feel good, but it didn'thelp me get out of the depression.
It kind of helped me sinkdeeper into the depression I was
in at the time.
But for something like I felt, I.
Guess when someone else is sad and.
Depressed, I Was attracted to that.
(06:33):
And I wanted to seek any kindof music that was like that or any
kind of people that were likethat, so I could comfort them, because
I couldn't comfort myself, ifthat makes sense.
And, I mean, that's the.
That's really the history ofwhy this album hit and why Leonard
Cohen and other characterslike that from a historical perspective.
I'd also heard Concrete Blondeand the Pump up the Volume soundtrack,
(06:56):
which was my favorite movieand probably is still my favorite
movie of all time.
And they had a cover ofLeonard Cohen song on that soundtrack.
So I was slightly aware.
But then when I was living inMontreal and I was heady into kind
(07:17):
of deep and dark anddepressing music, I mean, that's
really when I really wasembracing Concrete Blonde as an entity.
And then when I moved toWinnipeg, heard the cassette from
James, I'm like, wow.
Yeah, this is it.
These guys are great.
And I've followed them ever since.
So let's get into the openingtrack, Bloodletting.
(07:39):
If you want to start an album,this is how you start an album.
It is wicked good.
And here it is.
Okay, so let's analyze thishere for a second.
So you've got the.
The sound effects in thebeginning leading off the song.
(07:59):
That fucking bass line is so killer.
This is not a metal song.
But you can hear the metalproduction on this song.
This song is fucking amazingand mind blowing.
How great it is, how perfectit is.
And even the lyrics, man,there's a crack in the mirror and
a bloodstain on the bedrepeated, oh, you were a vampire,
(08:21):
baby and I'm a walking deadI've got the ways and means to New
Orleans.
Here we go.
Interview with a vampire.
I'm going down by the riverwhere it's warm and green I'm going
to have a drink oh, yeah.
What are you talking aboutHere, baby.
And walk around.
I got a lot to think about.
Oh, yeah.
(08:42):
They used to dance in thegarden in the middle of the night
Dancing out in the garden inthe middle of the night oh, you were
a vampire And I may never seethe light this so face value, me
hearing this.
Face value.
Huge fan of Anne Rice, hugefan of the Vampire Chronicles or
Trilogy or whatever it was called.
Read the books multiple times.
(09:03):
I even did a crossover eventbetween our bookstore and the movie
theater.
Because when Interview at theVampire came out, like, huge influence.
I own multiple versions of theVampire Chronicles at home.
Huge influence to me.
So then I hear the song, I waslike, this is perfect.
This is perfect.
So I'm like, well, what's therest of the album like?
You know, because I hear it atthe party, and I'm like, this is
(09:24):
amazing.
And, you know, I'd alsodiscovered Bella, the ghost.
He's dead, but Bauhaus, youknow, we can play that right now
if we want.
And it was just like, oh, myGod, this is so good, so good, so
good.
And I'm like, propagandi isinspired by this band.
I can hear it just in theproduction value, how this is put
together.
And, I mean, this song is great.
(09:44):
There's nothing wrong withthis song, but I'm not a lyric guy
generally.
But I started pouring over thelyrics in these songs, and I'm realizing
that maybe there's more than just.
Maybe it's more than justabout vampires when they're saying
vampire.
Maybe there's more ways around it.
And then later, finding outthe inspirations of this album, her
(10:09):
head state going into thisalbum, and how she was really messed
up, like, really in a bad way.
And I was in a bad way, too.
At that time.
I was.
I was very frustrated.
I was feeling unheard.
When I moved back to Winnipeg,I had built up all this positive
energy from Montreal.
(10:30):
Montreal.
Everyone was friendly.
Everyone was nice.
I had a lot of greatfriendships there.
I made a lot of lifelong friends.
I made a lot of lifelongmusical connections.
I discovered who I was, what Iwas, and it was okay to be me.
It was the first time I wasokay to be me.
And then I moved back to Winnipeg.
And it's still the same oldgrind that I had when I lived here
(10:53):
before, where no one wouldgive me the time of day.
I was having a hard timemaking friendships.
And honestly, when I movedhere, I got involved in a couple
of relationships that did notgo well.
Did not go well at all.
I don't know if I want to gointo detail as to what happened in
(11:14):
those relationships, but whatI will say is it messed me up a lot.
And it made me moreintrospective, more quiet, less willing
to share who I was to theworld and made me hide a little bit
more.
And this album was with thedepressing lyrics and the.
(11:36):
The way this is put together.
Like, this was my mind state.
This album was my existencefrom, you know, when I moved back
to Winnipeg to all the way up until.
Honestly, it was.
Yeah.
Until I met Sylvie, my wife,who I love so much.
(11:59):
I was not in a good headspace.
And this album was my constantsoundtrack to who I was and how I
felt.
I was a Miserable sod.
I was not happy.
People asked me how I'm doing,I'm fine.
But it was a lie, you know, I was.
I just wasn't in a good place.
And all of my lyric writingreally reflected my.
(12:21):
You know, I was kind of at apoint where I was like, I don't know
if I'm gonna live to be 30.
And I didn't even know if Iwanted to live to be 30.
And I know that's not good.
And don't worry, I'm in a goodheadspace and now I'm in a great
headspace and I ain't nevergoing back to that headspace again.
No one's gonna let me get there.
(12:42):
But there was a lot of peoplethat weren't around me at the time
to tell me I was, you know, ahalf decent person and that I was
okay and the things I wasdoing was good.
I just.
So much negativity was heapedon me from like 1991 to 2000 and
(13:03):
whatever.
So it was a really testy time.
So this album really resonatedwith me because I can feel what you're
feeling.
So let's go through the tracklisting here.
So I mean, as an opener, likeit doesn't get better than this.
The sky is a Poisonous Gardenis great.
And it is, you know, it was myfavorite song for a while because
(13:26):
it's a faster beat.
I like the tempo, I likewhat's going on.
I actually like the guitar.
And I do want to mention thisis not a guitar album.
The guitar seems like asecondary instrument a lot of the
time.
But we're going to get intothat as we get through some more
of the tracks.
But the skies of PoisonousGarden is great.
And then.
(13:51):
Here's the thing, theproduction on the vocal is so great.
And she's not over singing.
She's under singing in a lotof places because there's this emotion
coming through.
There's parts where she couldgo, but she's going no.
And she just kind of like itshuts down.
And you can tell she's feelingthe words she's singing.
(14:15):
She's not just singing a song,she's feeling the words she's singing
and she's going through theemotions as she's singing these words.
Because these words mean a lot.
And there's a lot ofinflection and choice of where.
Where to place the stress on,you know, on the consonant or whatever
in a lot of the.
(14:35):
This song, it's a.
It's a great song.
Hell, we're gonna play itright now.
(15:06):
Sun don't rise sun don't shineso don't bring tomorrow to justify
tonight.
Sip your tequila Give me sometime to unlearn All I've learned
For the spring to unwind andcame your sweet gentle mouth that
(15:31):
began to move by they knew itpretty dark they knew in the day
they knew what they had wouldbe A naked pray from outside By a
world full of oyster and apesout of this world out of this time
(15:54):
out of control they were outof their minds this world and the
stars are bright D.
(16:52):
She.
Said please don't go he said,please don't go and she sighed and
she died in his arms and hecried Never more.
Is a For the star of tonightthe sky is a For the star of tonight
the sky is a.
(17:20):
Okay, just rereading thelyrics as we listen to it.
Oh, my God.
I.
Again, my state of mind at the time.
This is why I can't evenlisten to this album anymore.
But I'm listening to it todayfor you, for our audience, our paying
audience.
So the stars above shine downbelow the fever you hold on this
(17:43):
night Deathly cold He can feelfrom his side of the door he could
feel Eleanor.
Oh, I don't like where this is going.
He said sun don't rise he saidsun don't shine he said don't bring
tomorrow to justify tonightthe moon is full and the stars are
bright and the sky is apoisonous garden tonight Sip your
(18:05):
tequila Give me time.
Sorry.
Give me some time to unlearnAll I've learned For the spring to
unwind and then came yoursweet gentle mouth I begin to move
mine Holy fuck.
Like, these lyrics are amazing.
Brooding.
There's a sense of depressionin here.
(18:28):
I mean, again, could be thevampire theme theme going on, but
again, I'm seeing more inthese lyrics.
This is so good, man.
How do you write this?
Well, and just the way shesings all this stuff, it's just.
It's absolutely, absolutely phenomenal.
(19:05):
Now, I believe Caroline wasalso a single.
It's a good song.
It's a bit more catchy.
It's a bit more commercial.
However, still the underlyingnarrative on this album, and this
really feels like a concept album.
I hear you're driving someoneelse's car now.
She said you came and tookyour stuff away.
(19:27):
All the poetry and the trunkyou kept your life in.
I knew that it would come tothat someday.
Like a. Oh, my God.
Like a sad hallucination whenI up.
I can't even sing It.
When I opened up my eyes, thetrain had passed the station and
(19:49):
you were trapped inside the whole.
The phrasing she's using here.
And then she's like.
Yet I never wonder where youwent I only wonder why I wonder why
Holy.
Like, what is this song about?
(20:10):
It's so sad.
I honestly.
Well, I hear you using someoneelse's number she said she saw you
in the store today it doesn'tmatter whose address you're listed
under I only know they'llnever make you stay Like a memory
in motion you were onlypassing through that is all you've
(20:31):
ever known of life that's allyou'll ever do There's a dream I
have where I sail away lookingback I wave at you and I wave goodbye.
God damn it.
This is like a.
This should be in a fuckingpoetry book.
This is absolutely,unbelievably great.
Like, this.
This is not.
This is not normal.
(20:51):
This is not normal, normal songwriting.
This is.
Next level Haskins scale again.
10.
No, no, 10 out of 10.
Not enough.
This is a thousand out of 10.
This is so phenomenal.
I could never, in my best day,write a lyric and a melody a tenth
(21:15):
as good as this.
On my best fucking day.
I could never write anythingapproaching this level of amazingness.
And again, the music, thelyrics, the melody, great, but the
music is also taking you inthat same position.
This, the heartbeat.
(21:36):
Her bass playing is phenomenal.
And it is so good.
It's so good.
So unbelievably good.
Next track is Darkening of the Light.
(22:28):
The mandolin, I believe that'smandolin in this song, is so good.
This feels.
Now, I didn't realize thistill this exact moment, but there's
a song I wrote for my grandmother.
Maybe I'll just insert asecond of it here, if I may.
3, 2, 1.
(22:49):
So I had a dream of mygrandmother and myself, and we were
in the.
I don't know where we were.
Probably early America,Louisiana, perhaps, or somewhere
down there.
And I was a.
It was the weirdest dream, man.
I was an urchin.
I was on the street, I wasbegging, and I had nothing.
(23:13):
And I was, you know, noteating every day.
It was begging on the streets.
I don't even think I had aroof over my head.
And I remember looking up atthis mansion.
It looked like a, you know,Louisiana plantation mansion sort
of thing.
And I remember looking up andthe window.
This isn't my dream.
This is like the craziest dream.
(23:35):
And trust me, there's.
We're getting to a point here,but I remember looking up at the
window and there's a girlthere, my age.
Because I'm a young.
I don't think I'm a man.
I think I'm still like 10, 11,12 years old.
And I see a girl in the windowof this beautiful, beautiful mansion,
(23:55):
and she's staring out thewindow and crying.
And I wrote a song based onthat dream, based on that moment.
And the song came togethervery quickly.
I had everything written, andthen I. I had the.
I had everything in my head.
(24:16):
I went to Todd right away.
I'm like, todd, here's theguitar riff.
Can you.
Can you play this?
And I mouthed.
I mouthed it out to himbecause I don't play guitar.
I'm like, wait, it goes like this.
I'm like, can.
Can you do this?
He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Ican do it.
So we recorded it, and it wasrecorded instantly, basically.
And I. I had put this album in2000 with a horrible song title called
(24:38):
Songs in the key of McGinnity.
It was an album.
I'd written all the songs, andTodd played on a few of the tracks,
but this.
This song was.
Was on there.
And so anyway, when I playedthe song.
So I recorded the song asquick as I could, and I played the
song to my Grandmother Dora.
And she listened, and she was quiet.
(24:58):
She did not say a word.
She listened to the wholething, beginning to end.
Not a perfect recording of the song.
We do need to redo that songat some point, but.
So she listened all the waythrough, and she looked at me and
she said.
What did she say?
She said something along thelines of like, she had the same dream,
(25:21):
too.
We both had that same dream,and she was the person in the window
and I was the person outside.
And we were reflecting how welived in two different worlds.
Like, she lived in the worldof the rich and she was sad, and
I lived in the world of poor,and I was sad.
And it was like a song that transcends.
Like, you can be sad.
It doesn't matter what side ofthe fence you're on, you can be sad.
(25:44):
And we had a kinship, and itwas almost.
And then my grandmother'slike, you know, she saw the imagery.
She told me the imagery fromthe song.
This sounds the same.
This.
I can.
I can.
This is like a sister song.
And I'm pretty sure I gotinspiration from this song.
(26:04):
This is so evocative.
This is so.
I. I'm there.
I'm there.
This.
This longing, this.
You know, I lost someone, andthey're gone but I still feel them
around Just this is like, man,just so well done.
(26:25):
So well done.
Now the next song I I'm goingto play in its entirety, and then
we're going to talk about it.
(26:56):
You always said it was a liewe burned like a house on fire no
matter what you know that tobe true Everything you gave to me
change changed everything Iused to be much more than anyone
I ever knew I don't need ahero I don't need a soldier did when
(27:23):
I was younger now that I'molder I don't need a father I don't
want to be a mother it's justthat any one of us.
(28:01):
Piece of time was still sofresh inside my mind makes the movie
of my life seem pale all thegames I have to play I got to give
a lot of me away Part with uswill never be for sale I don't need
(28:22):
a hero I don't need a soldierdidn't when I was younger now that
I'm older I don't need afather I don't want to be your mother
it's just that any one of usis half without another one is you.
(28:52):
It.
(29:45):
Words of love have beenconfused and the ways of love have
been abused Is this a lotteryyou win or lose?
I don't know it's an endlesscircle over time.
The place inside where I holdand find sweet and happy music in
my soul I don't need a hero Idon't need a soldier I did when I
(30:12):
was younger but now I'm somuch older I don't need a father
I don't want to be your motherJust that any one of us is half of
that another one is you.
(30:37):
Is you.
I defy anyone to listen tothat song and co like, really listen
(31:02):
to the song, listen to hersinging, listen to the words, listening
to the percussion and theguitar and the guitar solo in this
song.
Wow.
So I defy you to listen tothis song and not break down.
(31:29):
God, I don't even know what tosay about this song.
It is so.
This was the song thatdestroyed me every time.
And I think again, like, we.
I was telling, you know, kindof a bit about my relationship with
my dad and, you know, he was.
He was a tough man growing up.
(31:49):
And we came to head.
We came to a head in 1990, Iguess it was, and we had it out.
And I was.
I shot back at him for everytime growing up that he might not
have been the best father andmade him kind of realize you know,
(32:18):
how.
How that impacted me and mybrother and he.
I swear to God, it was a lightbulb moment.
And I don't know, man.
Like, this song reminds me ofthat moment.
Again, songs have personalconnections with personal.
With specific things that happened.
And this connects with that moment.
(32:40):
When I don't need a hero.
What's the line here?
I did when I don't need ahero, I don't need a soldier.
I did when I was younger butnow that I'm older, I don't need
a father.
I don't want to be your mother.
It's just that any one of usis half without another one is you.
(33:04):
I know this is not what thesong is actually about, but then
again, the universe set.
The universality of lyrics isthat this was about my strained relationship
with my father and how theargument that we had, which was.
Which is a huge argument, man.
(33:30):
I don't know.
I could go on, but I.
Maybe I shouldn't.
This is really tough for me.
So let's just move on to thenext song.
It's.
It's.
I'm very curious what otherpeople read in these lyrics and if
they make a personalconnection themselves.
The next song is.
Starts off side two.
(33:51):
Days and days.
(34:14):
The dirty leaves are sailingon a hot wind ocean and the summer
comes and summer goes andalways has and will and something
somewhere that you said goesricochet all through my head and
flashing like a neon sign thetime stood still and I was up forever
Running all together like thecrossroads of a minute.
(34:48):
Another great song, one that Iappreciate more and more.
I didn't.
I. I liked it.
It was like one of myfavorites because again, I like my
uptempo songs and I like this song.
And I thought it was good.
And I never really looked intolyrically or anything like that.
But then later, as I'm comingback to it, and it's like, this is
a really great song.
(35:09):
Is it my favorite song of the album?
Nah, probably not anymore.
I think I get more resonancewith other things that happen this
album, but nonetheless a great song.
Definitely doesn't get a downvote for me.
The song after this, again,like this one, it might have been
considered a weaker song by meat the time, but it's not.
(35:32):
There's a lot of things goingon in this next song called the Beast.
Take a listen.
(36:07):
Blood and murder colliding sofine between coping and hurting.
Great tune.
(36:31):
Here.
Love is the ghost hauntingyour head Love is the killer you
thought was your friend Loveis the creature who lives in the
dark sneaks up, will stick youand painfully pick you apart.
Love is a poet, Love sings thesongs pointing his finger you follow
along, voices are calling, themonster wants out of you, paws you
(36:55):
and claws you, try not to fall.
Love is the leech sucking you up.
Love is a vampire drunk onyour blood.
Love is the beast that willtear out your heart hungrily, lick
it and painfully pick it apart.
Look, she was hurt by love.
We've all been hurt by love atone point or another, except those
that marry the high schoolsweethearts and are still together.
(37:17):
But I went through a lot of.
Shh.
Well, not a lot.
I'm exaggerating.
I went through a couple ofreally, really bad relationships.
And this was the.
Yeah.
Love is not real.
Love is not a thing.
People are or are evil.
(37:38):
Everyone wants to hurt people.
I had such.
This negative headspace aboutrelationships and all that sort of
stuff because I had been withpeople that were going through stuff
and were not in the rightheadspace to be in a relationship.
And that damage I wassuffering, I was not in the right
(37:59):
headspace to be with anybody either.
So you take a couple of peoplethat are not in a good headspace,
they're both broken, and theyboth get together.
Like, it's not going to be good.
It's not going to be good.
It's not going to be good at all.
Like, so I was, you know, Iwas in a bad space and this.
(38:21):
This song was like, yeah,like, love is not a real thing.
It's just something thatpeople pine about.
It's fantasy.
It's all this sort of stuff.
So, sorry, dude.
This song has a lot of impact.
The next song is also great.
It's called the.
Sorry.
It's called Lullaby.
(39:15):
Her execution on the vocals inthis song are beautiful.
And as I listened to this muchlater in life, having a couple of
kids and the importance of a lullaby.
And there was a period therewhere I was singing, particularly
Abby to sleep.
(39:35):
Every night I would sing Lullaby.
I would make up songs to lullher to sleep.
And just that sense ofprotection and wanting to be everything
for them.
The safe place to fall, thedeep hug you need when you know I
just.
Being protective of your kidsand loving your kids and willing
(39:57):
to do anything to keep them safe.
This is what I'm getting.
Like a blanket on yourshoulder and the moon is like a mother
looking over you forever andthe dawn is so familiar you you were
meant to be together Like afog around a mountain forever, forever
(40:20):
and ever when she says it'slike, oh, my God.
I just.
I love my kids so much, and Iknow that's not likely.
I think there's a.
There's a sense of loss, oflosing someone very important to
you in the song.
But again, a song can havemany different meanings and interpretations,
and for me, this is lookingafter my kids and being worried about
(40:43):
them because, you know, we'vehad some issues with the kids that
we've had to work through tokeep them safe and to keep them protected.
And I hear the song, and Ijust, like.
I just want to go hug my kidsand make sure they're okay, make
sure they know I love them allthis sort of thing.
This song is, like, great.
(41:05):
The next song on the album isthe big hit, and honestly, it used
to play quite a bit when I wasworking in the bookstore on the radio
station.
And I kind of got sick of thesong for a while because it was overplayed
quite a bit in Canada anyway.
But I've come back around tothe song.
This song is great.
It's really good.
The next song is called Joey,.
(41:35):
Joey Baby.
So in hindsight, I feel like Iam Jeanette in this song, and I'm
singing to one of my exes, andI'm like, what the hell's going on?
(42:00):
You know, why is things not working?
What is wrong with you now?
Like, well, what.
What.
What problem are we having now?
It's the same problem over and over.
And I'm doing my best to dealwith the problem.
Won't go into details here,but let's just say that the relationships
(42:20):
I talked about before, well,this is about that.
Person.
And kind of picking up thepieces every time and saying, okay,
well, maybe this is the last time.
Maybe this is the last problem.
Maybe this is the last occurrence.
And the.
The interesting thing was, atthe time, at each of those times,
(42:42):
I'm very private.
And I wasn't sharing what wasgoing on.
I wasn't sharing theduplicitous details about what was
going on because I was beingpretty protective.
Again, Lullaby at the time forme was me protecting and not letting
people know the truth aboutsome of the ugly stuff that was happening.
And me trying my best to,like, you know what?
(43:04):
She'll be better.
We can.
I can help make her better.
I can.
You know, I can be reassured.
Like, I can reassure her.
I can make her feel better.
I can look after her.
I can, you know, save her from herself.
I can.
I was trying to do all thesethings, but I was not equipped.
And this song, to me Justfeels like that.
Okay, I'm gonna lie for you again.
(43:25):
I'm not gonna let people knowwhat's going on.
I'll make up a story aboutwhat really happened.
And then in the end.
So here's the thing about whenyou are covering for people, covering
certain behaviors and certainthings that are happening, you become
(43:46):
enabling of that behavior bycovering it up and not letting the
truth come out.
And it's not my place to say,this person did that, this person
did that.
Hey, everybody, this is what'sreally happening.
It's not my place to do that.
But covering over and overagain, the things that are happening,
(44:07):
it's.
It's destructive in the end.
And in the end, like, I'm not.
I don't have the tools to lookafter these things.
And Joey is the epitome of asong where you're covering and covering.
It's like, okay, you know what?
This is probably the last time.
But you know what?
Maybe you hurt me, but I'mokay now.
(44:28):
We get past that last incidentthat just happened.
Let's move on.
And you know what?
We have good days and we, youknow, we love each other and all
this stuff.
But then the bad day comesagain, you know, Read through the
lyrics, man.
Detours, fences I getdefensive I know you've heard it
all before so I won't say itanymore Yep, I just stand by and
(44:52):
let you fight your secret warand I thought I used to wonder why
and sorry.
And though I used to wonderwhy I used to cry till I was dry
still sometimes I get astrange pain inside oh, Jury.
Joey, if you're hurting, so am I.
This is me singing to somebodyfor sure.
Anyway, we're going to thelast song.
(45:14):
I'm going to play the whole thing.
And, boy, this song had a lotof resonance for me.
How do I say this?
Okay, so my best friendgrowing up died at 25.
(45:42):
It was.
Probably the worst I ever feltin my life.
And the loss of him reallydrove the next 10 years of my life
from 25 to 35.
And the relationships I was inbefore his passing and after his
(46:07):
passing and for many yearsafter his passing guided my inner.
It guided how I viewed the world.
It was very negative.
It took me a long time to grieve.
(46:29):
And Honestly, it was 10 yearsafter his passing that I met my wife,
Sylvie.
And it was at that moment thatI allowed myself to end the grieving.
I still miss.
I still miss that guy morethan you realize.
(46:51):
But at least I had someone whocared for me.
Deeply.
Who I could talk to aboutthese feelings I had and I could
actually be myself with.
And you know that 10 years of.
10 years of grief is what it was.
And again, I can't say it enough.
(47:12):
This album is all that.
That's.
That's exactly where myheadspace was.
And if this last song doesn'tdestroy you, there's something wrong
with you.
Because it destroys me everytime I hear it.
So here we go.
It's called Tomorrow, Wendy.
(47:50):
It is complete now.
Two ends of time are neatlytied oh, wide with street she's walking
to the end of the line andthere she meets the faces she keeps
in her heart and mind they saygoodbye tomorrow when you're going
(48:14):
to die.
Tomorrow when we are going to die.
Underneath the chilly grayNovember sky We can make believe
(48:40):
that Kennedy is still alivewe're shooting for the moon and smiling
Jack is driving by they saygood try tomorrow going to die.
(49:15):
I told the priest don't counton any second coming kick the first
time he came down his stomachhe had the most to come the thoughts
would die and then forgive usno, I don't wonder why I wonder what
it thought it would get ushey, hey Goodbye tomorrow When he's
(49:44):
going to die Sam.
(50:13):
Sa.
(50:38):
God.
(51:04):
Goodbye tomorrow.
When.
(51:30):
That.
(52:00):
Hey Goodbye tomorrow when hegoing to die Goodbye tomorrow When
he is going to die.
(52:30):
Holy balls.
Holy balls.
That one's heavy.
It was actually a single.
I didn't realize this.
(52:56):
It's not.
Jeanette didn't write this song.
It was written by.
Oh my God.
It is pre boy.
Pre boy.
So.
(53:19):
Tamora Wendy was inspired bythe suicide of a woman who Priest
Boy had known from a young agewhen they were both growing up in
East Chicago.
Wendy later turned toprostitution and drugs.
And when she was diagnosedwith hiv, she decided to die by suicide
by taking a heroin overdoserather than go to die of an AIDS
related disease.
(53:41):
And is quoting Pre Boy.
What the hell is his name?
Wendy was the type that justbided her time, took drugs and took
what was offered to her.
Her suicide was the one bigtime in her life when she'd look
when she took charge.
Basically, the song is aconversation she's having with the
mirror.
These are the feelings of ragethat Wendy felt.
(54:07):
Oh my God.
I don't even know if I could.
I'm gonna play the original version.
(54:29):
It is completely.
Two ends of time are neatlytied A one way street she's walking
to the end of the line Thereshe meets the faces she keeps in
her heart and mind they Saygoodbye Tomorrow Wendy is going to
(54:53):
die.
Tomorrow Wendy is going to die.
Underneath the chilly grayNovember sky.
(55:17):
You can make believe thatKennedy is still alive by they're
shooting for the moon andsmiling Jack is driving by this.
And honestly, this was megrieving my friend, my best friend,
(55:40):
Shouting at the skies, cursingGod, giving him crisis of faith,
crisis of belief in anything.
If the, you know, one of thebest people on the planet gets taken
from all of us, who impactedall of us, who is important to all
(56:03):
of us gets taken away, thenwhat kind of world do we live in?
And then the people thatsurvive and the people that are taken
away.
That there's.
The tally doesn't add up properly.
Like the.
The wicked continue and the.
(56:24):
The kind souls don't.
Anyway.
What a way to end a record.
I understand why Jeanettenever wanted to make a record like
this again.
I wouldn't want to make arecord like this ever.
I have done recordings.
I have written songs that arethis sad and depressing.
(56:49):
And I think you all canunderstand why this song is probably
the best song on the album,why this song is important, why this
song is influential.
And to finish off,Bloodletting is a classic, not just
(57:10):
for good songs or great songs,but for emotional intensity, emotional
integrity, and for taking yousomewhere and then dumping you at
the end in your own misery.
It's not an album I can listento often, and I have to be sure I'm
strong when I do, because itis a bit of a soundtrack for that
(57:35):
lost 10 years of life that Ihad after my friend's passing.
And I don't know if.
If those of you listening tothe episode, look, you don't like
the album, you don't like theband, that's fine.
(57:55):
It's totally fine.
But this album is so fucking important.
And this is an album thatbroke me and strongly influenced.
Influenced my songwriting afterwards.
If you listen to Paradigm offour Dome album, it definitely gets
(58:17):
inspiration from this album interms of emotional intensity.
And I. I challenge anybody tohave that has listened to our band
Dome and that has listened tothat song to actually listen to the
lyrics and see if you can drawthe story line that runs through
that.
(58:37):
It is.
It's an emotional song.
And when we played it live, Ialways struggled with it.
And there was one show that weplayed when we played that song.
I'll just probably play it atthe end of the episode anyway.
But there's a.
(58:58):
We played this at the Saint Boniface.
At Saint Boniface.
Saint B.
Club Saint B.
And I remember people in theaudience were just standing there
watching us perform the songand they were, they weren't rocking
out, they weren't moshing,they were just paying attention and
(59:22):
when the song was done theythe cheering was through the roof
and everybody looked really emotional.
So you know what, we'll just.
You know what?
Instead of ending on thedowner that is tomorrow Wendy, maybe
we'll end on the downer thatis paradigm and see if you guys can
(59:42):
put together what you thinkthat song is about.
Anyway, thanks for listening.
Thanks for joining us onbreaking I hope you enjoyed the episode
this is one I'd wanted to dofor a number of years and was too
afraid to do but today I hadthe courage.
May you also have the courageand if you are facing hard times,
(01:00:03):
despair, depression, pleasereach out, even reach out to me,
man.
I will do my best to lift youup and hopefully clear the fog because
everyone is beautiful andeveryone deserves to be heard.
Peace out.
Hey, folks, new episode of theSean Geek and Fast RIT podcast.
And I'm putting an episodewarning at the beginning of this
one.
We're gonna kind of get intosome very, very heady topics that
might be difficult for some.
This is a very difficultepisode to record for myself.
We're gonna be dealing withdepression, heavy depression, going
(00:25):
to be dealing with suicide.
And look, if this.
If this content's not for you,I'm more than okay if you guys skip
this one.
This is one I needed to do formyself and get out there and talk
about some really heady stuffabout a really heady album that deals
with all of that stuff,Concrete Blondes, Bloodletting, which
(00:46):
is not for everybody.
And even though it is anincredibly important album for myself,
it's an album that I can'tusually listen to because of how
heavy the topics of suicideand depression feature on this album.
And we're going to be coveringthis album in full.
So back away now if this istoo much for you.
(01:09):
And remember, there's alwayssomebody out there you can talk to.
If you are not feeling goodand feeling suicidal or anything
like that.
Please, please reach out to somebody.
You know, there is the suicidecrisis helpline in Canada you can
call, which is 988.
There's always somebody thereto talk to you.
(01:31):
Always somebody there to getyou through it.
And please look after yourself.
Please take care of yourself,and please reach out.
Welcome to the.
Sean, Geek and Fast podcast.
Yeah, you got it, folks.
It's me again with a littleantitude for all you out here in
(01:52):
White bread.
We're on 92fm and it feelslike a nice clean little band.
So far, no one else is using it.
The price is right did youfind you Crusty Dave?
This is bigger than friendship.
This is what you call cosmic.
(02:12):
The Buddhists call it, let mesee, Reincarnation.
Musi.
Musi.
Hey, wait a minute.
Since when is Pismo beach in inside.
A cave, I wonder.
You know, I just bet we shouldhave turned left at Albuquerque and
(02:33):
then maybe a right turn at La Jola.
Shush.
Hush, please.
Concrete Blondes Bloodletting.
(02:54):
Holy crap.
Incredibly impactful album for me.
Incredibly difficult album for me.
But let's get into this.
So this came out in 1990.
It was the third studio albumby the band Concrete Blonde.
They were getting some headwayon the previous albums, and they're
(03:17):
kind of, you know, doingreally good.
And then this album came outand Joey was a single and the.
The lead track to the album Bloodletting.
Itself.
Was a gothic reimagining ofmany things.
It was, I don't know, it was great.
(03:40):
Now how I discovered thisalbum is kind of.
There's a multiple ways that I did.
Primarily it was at James'shouse and he had a party and he pops
this cassette into his stereoand I'm like, holy shit, this is
really good.
What the heck is this?
And I hadn't heard theprevious two albums.
(04:00):
I was unfamiliar with the bandand I was heavily reading into Anne
Rice's stuff at the time.
And I'm like, wow, this islike a perfect soundtrack to Interview
with the Vampire.
So I'm like, what the heck?
This is like perfect.
And I'm, you know, opening upthe cassette and opening up the.
(04:21):
The lyric sheet inside andreading through lyrics.
Oh my God, this is like.
This is hitting everything Ireally want to hear in an album.
And it's absolutely fantastic.
So I sought it out on my ownlater and took a lot of read a lot
of listen throughs and a lotof read throughs of the lyrics too.
And the one thing I kind ofnoticed was, was that it totally
(04:44):
fit my aesthetic at the timebecause, I don't know, preemptively,
I knew it was going to come.
But the passing of my bestfriend Richard, which was going to
happen a few years later, itwas always in the cards and it was
always something we alwaystalked about because he had a.
(05:05):
He had something wrong with him.
And the doctors had beenpredicting he wouldn't survive ever
since he was like three orfour years old.
And, you know, we're now inour 20s and he had already outlived
his lifespan that the doctorshad said many times over.
And it was always in the back.
Of my mind and I was alwaysfearing it was going to come.
(05:30):
And I guess since the realization.
That,.
You know, when you're kids youdon't really think about things like
that, but you know, as you getolder there's like, wow, like he
could really go at any time.
Something could happen at any time.
(05:50):
And so I was in like a verybig depression about that.
And I carried that depressionwith me all the time.
So this album kind of was awarm blanket for me leading up to
his passing.
(06:12):
And I don't know, for somereason at the time, I guess it made
me feel good, but it didn'thelp me get out of the depression.
It kind of helped me sinkdeeper into the depression I was
in at the time.
But for something like I felt, I.
Guess when someone else is sad and.
Depressed, I Was attracted to that.
(06:33):
And I wanted to seek any kindof music that was like that or any
kind of people that were likethat, so I could comfort them, because
I couldn't comfort myself, ifthat makes sense.
And, I mean, that's the.
That's really the history ofwhy this album hit and why Leonard
Cohen and other characterslike that from a historical perspective.
I'd also heard Concrete Blondeand the Pump up the Volume soundtrack,
(06:56):
which was my favorite movieand probably is still my favorite
movie of all time.
And they had a cover ofLeonard Cohen song on that soundtrack.
So I was slightly aware.
But then when I was living inMontreal and I was heady into kind
(07:17):
of deep and dark anddepressing music, I mean, that's
really when I really wasembracing Concrete Blonde as an entity.
And then when I moved toWinnipeg, heard the cassette from
James, I'm like, wow.
Yeah, this is it.
These guys are great.
And I've followed them ever since.
So let's get into the openingtrack, Bloodletting.
(07:39):
If you want to start an album,this is how you start an album.
It is wicked good.
And here it is.
Okay, so let's analyze thishere for a second.
So you've got the.
The sound effects in thebeginning leading off the song.
(07:59):
That fucking bass line is so killer.
This is not a metal song.
But you can hear the metalproduction on this song.
This song is fucking amazingand mind blowing.
How great it is, how perfectit is.
And even the lyrics, man,there's a crack in the mirror and
a bloodstain on the bedrepeated, oh, you were a vampire,
(08:21):
baby and I'm a walking deadI've got the ways and means to New
Orleans.
Here we go.
Interview with a vampire.
I'm going down by the riverwhere it's warm and green I'm going
to have a drink oh, yeah.
What are you talking aboutHere, baby.
And walk around.
I got a lot to think about.
Oh, yeah.
(08:42):
They used to dance in thegarden in the middle of the night
Dancing out in the garden inthe middle of the night oh, you were
a vampire And I may never seethe light this so face value, me
hearing this.
Face value.
Huge fan of Anne Rice, hugefan of the Vampire Chronicles or
Trilogy or whatever it was called.
Read the books multiple times.
(09:03):
I even did a crossover eventbetween our bookstore and the movie
theater.
Because when Interview at theVampire came out, like, huge influence.
I own multiple versions of theVampire Chronicles at home.
Huge influence to me.
So then I hear the song, I waslike, this is perfect.
This is perfect.
So I'm like, well, what's therest of the album like?
You know, because I hear it atthe party, and I'm like, this is
(09:24):
amazing.
And, you know, I'd alsodiscovered Bella, the ghost.
He's dead, but Bauhaus, youknow, we can play that right now
if we want.
And it was just like, oh, myGod, this is so good, so good, so
good.
And I'm like, propagandi isinspired by this band.
I can hear it just in theproduction value, how this is put
together.
And, I mean, this song is great.
(09:44):
There's nothing wrong withthis song, but I'm not a lyric guy
generally.
But I started pouring over thelyrics in these songs, and I'm realizing
that maybe there's more than just.
Maybe it's more than justabout vampires when they're saying
vampire.
Maybe there's more ways around it.
And then later, finding outthe inspirations of this album, her
(10:09):
head state going into thisalbum, and how she was really messed
up, like, really in a bad way.
And I was in a bad way, too.
At that time.
I was.
I was very frustrated.
I was feeling unheard.
When I moved back to Winnipeg,I had built up all this positive
energy from Montreal.
(10:30):
Montreal.
Everyone was friendly.
Everyone was nice.
I had a lot of greatfriendships there.
I made a lot of lifelong friends.
I made a lot of lifelongmusical connections.
I discovered who I was, what Iwas, and it was okay to be me.
It was the first time I wasokay to be me.
And then I moved back to Winnipeg.
And it's still the same oldgrind that I had when I lived here
(10:53):
before, where no one wouldgive me the time of day.
I was having a hard timemaking friendships.
And honestly, when I movedhere, I got involved in a couple
of relationships that did notgo well.
Did not go well at all.
I don't know if I want to gointo detail as to what happened in
(11:14):
those relationships, but whatI will say is it messed me up a lot.
And it made me moreintrospective, more quiet, less willing
to share who I was to theworld and made me hide a little bit
more.
And this album was with thedepressing lyrics and the.
(11:36):
The way this is put together.
Like, this was my mind state.
This album was my existencefrom, you know, when I moved back
to Winnipeg to all the way up until.
Honestly, it was.
Yeah.
Until I met Sylvie, my wife,who I love so much.
(11:59):
I was not in a good headspace.
And this album was my constantsoundtrack to who I was and how I
felt.
I was a Miserable sod.
I was not happy.
People asked me how I'm doing,I'm fine.
But it was a lie, you know, I was.
I just wasn't in a good place.
And all of my lyric writingreally reflected my.
(12:21):
You know, I was kind of at apoint where I was like, I don't know
if I'm gonna live to be 30.
And I didn't even know if Iwanted to live to be 30.
And I know that's not good.
And don't worry, I'm in a goodheadspace and now I'm in a great
headspace and I ain't nevergoing back to that headspace again.
No one's gonna let me get there.
(12:42):
But there was a lot of peoplethat weren't around me at the time
to tell me I was, you know, ahalf decent person and that I was
okay and the things I wasdoing was good.
I just.
So much negativity was heapedon me from like 1991 to 2000 and
(13:03):
whatever.
So it was a really testy time.
So this album really resonatedwith me because I can feel what you're
feeling.
So let's go through the tracklisting here.
So I mean, as an opener, likeit doesn't get better than this.
The sky is a Poisonous Gardenis great.
And it is, you know, it was myfavorite song for a while because
(13:26):
it's a faster beat.
I like the tempo, I likewhat's going on.
I actually like the guitar.
And I do want to mention thisis not a guitar album.
The guitar seems like asecondary instrument a lot of the
time.
But we're going to get intothat as we get through some more
of the tracks.
But the skies of PoisonousGarden is great.
And then.
(13:51):
Here's the thing, theproduction on the vocal is so great.
And she's not over singing.
She's under singing in a lotof places because there's this emotion
coming through.
There's parts where she couldgo, but she's going no.
And she just kind of like itshuts down.
And you can tell she's feelingthe words she's singing.
(14:15):
She's not just singing a song,she's feeling the words she's singing
and she's going through theemotions as she's singing these words.
Because these words mean a lot.
And there's a lot ofinflection and choice of where.
Where to place the stress on,you know, on the consonant or whatever
in a lot of the.
(14:35):
This song, it's a.
It's a great song.
Hell, we're gonna play itright now.
(15:06):
Sun don't rise sun don't shineso don't bring tomorrow to justify
tonight.
Sip your tequila Give me sometime to unlearn All I've learned
For the spring to unwind andcame your sweet gentle mouth that
(15:31):
began to move by they knew itpretty dark they knew in the day
they knew what they had wouldbe A naked pray from outside By a
world full of oyster and apesout of this world out of this time
(15:54):
out of control they were outof their minds this world and the
stars are bright D.
(16:52):
She.
Said please don't go he said,please don't go and she sighed and
she died in his arms and hecried Never more.
Is a For the star of tonightthe sky is a For the star of tonight
the sky is a.
(17:20):
Okay, just rereading thelyrics as we listen to it.
Oh, my God.
I.
Again, my state of mind at the time.
This is why I can't evenlisten to this album anymore.
But I'm listening to it todayfor you, for our audience, our paying
audience.
So the stars above shine downbelow the fever you hold on this
(17:43):
night Deathly cold He can feelfrom his side of the door he could
feel Eleanor.
Oh, I don't like where this is going.
He said sun don't rise he saidsun don't shine he said don't bring
tomorrow to justify tonightthe moon is full and the stars are
bright and the sky is apoisonous garden tonight Sip your
(18:05):
tequila Give me time.
Sorry.
Give me some time to unlearnAll I've learned For the spring to
unwind and then came yoursweet gentle mouth I begin to move
mine Holy fuck.
Like, these lyrics are amazing.
Brooding.
There's a sense of depressionin here.
(18:28):
I mean, again, could be thevampire theme theme going on, but
again, I'm seeing more inthese lyrics.
This is so good, man.
How do you write this?
Well, and just the way shesings all this stuff, it's just.
It's absolutely, absolutely phenomenal.
(19:05):
Now, I believe Caroline wasalso a single.
It's a good song.
It's a bit more catchy.
It's a bit more commercial.
However, still the underlyingnarrative on this album, and this
really feels like a concept album.
I hear you're driving someoneelse's car now.
She said you came and tookyour stuff away.
(19:27):
All the poetry and the trunkyou kept your life in.
I knew that it would come tothat someday.
Like a. Oh, my God.
Like a sad hallucination whenI up.
I can't even sing It.
When I opened up my eyes, thetrain had passed the station and
(19:49):
you were trapped inside the whole.
The phrasing she's using here.
And then she's like.
Yet I never wonder where youwent I only wonder why I wonder why
Holy.
Like, what is this song about?
(20:10):
It's so sad.
I honestly.
Well, I hear you using someoneelse's number she said she saw you
in the store today it doesn'tmatter whose address you're listed
under I only know they'llnever make you stay Like a memory
in motion you were onlypassing through that is all you've
(20:31):
ever known of life that's allyou'll ever do There's a dream I
have where I sail away lookingback I wave at you and I wave goodbye.
God damn it.
This is like a.
This should be in a fuckingpoetry book.
This is absolutely,unbelievably great.
Like, this.
This is not.
This is not normal.
(20:51):
This is not normal, normal songwriting.
This is.
Next level Haskins scale again.
10.
No, no, 10 out of 10.
Not enough.
This is a thousand out of 10.
This is so phenomenal.
I could never, in my best day,write a lyric and a melody a tenth
(21:15):
as good as this.
On my best fucking day.
I could never write anythingapproaching this level of amazingness.
And again, the music, thelyrics, the melody, great, but the
music is also taking you inthat same position.
This, the heartbeat.
(21:36):
Her bass playing is phenomenal.
And it is so good.
It's so good.
So unbelievably good.
Next track is Darkening of the Light.
(22:28):
The mandolin, I believe that'smandolin in this song, is so good.
This feels.
Now, I didn't realize thistill this exact moment, but there's
a song I wrote for my grandmother.
Maybe I'll just insert asecond of it here, if I may.
3, 2, 1.
(22:49):
So I had a dream of mygrandmother and myself, and we were
in the.
I don't know where we were.
Probably early America,Louisiana, perhaps, or somewhere
down there.
And I was a.
It was the weirdest dream, man.
I was an urchin.
I was on the street, I wasbegging, and I had nothing.
(23:13):
And I was, you know, noteating every day.
It was begging on the streets.
I don't even think I had aroof over my head.
And I remember looking up atthis mansion.
It looked like a, you know,Louisiana plantation mansion sort
of thing.
And I remember looking up andthe window.
This isn't my dream.
This is like the craziest dream.
(23:35):
And trust me, there's.
We're getting to a point here,but I remember looking up at the
window and there's a girlthere, my age.
Because I'm a young.
I don't think I'm a man.
I think I'm still like 10, 11,12 years old.
And I see a girl in the windowof this beautiful, beautiful mansion,
(23:55):
and she's staring out thewindow and crying.
And I wrote a song based onthat dream, based on that moment.
And the song came togethervery quickly.
I had everything written, andthen I. I had the.
I had everything in my head.
(24:16):
I went to Todd right away.
I'm like, todd, here's theguitar riff.
Can you.
Can you play this?
And I mouthed.
I mouthed it out to himbecause I don't play guitar.
I'm like, wait, it goes like this.
I'm like, can.
Can you do this?
He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Ican do it.
So we recorded it, and it wasrecorded instantly, basically.
And I. I had put this album in2000 with a horrible song title called
(24:38):
Songs in the key of McGinnity.
It was an album.
I'd written all the songs, andTodd played on a few of the tracks,
but this.
This song was.
Was on there.
And so anyway, when I playedthe song.
So I recorded the song asquick as I could, and I played the
song to my Grandmother Dora.
And she listened, and she was quiet.
(24:58):
She did not say a word.
She listened to the wholething, beginning to end.
Not a perfect recording of the song.
We do need to redo that songat some point, but.
So she listened all the waythrough, and she looked at me and
she said.
What did she say?
She said something along thelines of like, she had the same dream,
(25:21):
too.
We both had that same dream,and she was the person in the window
and I was the person outside.
And we were reflecting how welived in two different worlds.
Like, she lived in the worldof the rich and she was sad, and
I lived in the world of poor,and I was sad.
And it was like a song that transcends.
Like, you can be sad.
It doesn't matter what side ofthe fence you're on, you can be sad.
(25:44):
And we had a kinship, and itwas almost.
And then my grandmother'slike, you know, she saw the imagery.
She told me the imagery fromthe song.
This sounds the same.
This.
I can.
I can.
This is like a sister song.
And I'm pretty sure I gotinspiration from this song.
(26:04):
This is so evocative.
This is so.
I. I'm there.
I'm there.
This.
This longing, this.
You know, I lost someone, andthey're gone but I still feel them
around Just this is like, man,just so well done.
(26:25):
So well done.
Now the next song I I'm goingto play in its entirety, and then
we're going to talk about it.
(26:56):
You always said it was a liewe burned like a house on fire no
matter what you know that tobe true Everything you gave to me
change changed everything Iused to be much more than anyone
I ever knew I don't need ahero I don't need a soldier did when
(27:23):
I was younger now that I'molder I don't need a father I don't
want to be a mother it's justthat any one of us.
(28:01):
Piece of time was still sofresh inside my mind makes the movie
of my life seem pale all thegames I have to play I got to give
a lot of me away Part with uswill never be for sale I don't need
(28:22):
a hero I don't need a soldierdidn't when I was younger now that
I'm older I don't need afather I don't want to be your mother
it's just that any one of usis half without another one is you.
(28:52):
It.
(29:45):
Words of love have beenconfused and the ways of love have
been abused Is this a lotteryyou win or lose?
I don't know it's an endlesscircle over time.
The place inside where I holdand find sweet and happy music in
my soul I don't need a hero Idon't need a soldier I did when I
(30:12):
was younger but now I'm somuch older I don't need a father
I don't want to be your motherJust that any one of us is half of
that another one is you.
(30:37):
Is you.
I defy anyone to listen tothat song and co like, really listen
(31:02):
to the song, listen to hersinging, listen to the words, listening
to the percussion and theguitar and the guitar solo in this
song.
Wow.
So I defy you to listen tothis song and not break down.
(31:29):
God, I don't even know what tosay about this song.
It is so.
This was the song thatdestroyed me every time.
And I think again, like, we.
I was telling, you know, kindof a bit about my relationship with
my dad and, you know, he was.
He was a tough man growing up.
(31:49):
And we came to head.
We came to a head in 1990, Iguess it was, and we had it out.
And I was.
I shot back at him for everytime growing up that he might not
have been the best father andmade him kind of realize you know,
(32:18):
how.
How that impacted me and mybrother and he.
I swear to God, it was a lightbulb moment.
And I don't know, man.
Like, this song reminds me ofthat moment.
Again, songs have personalconnections with personal.
With specific things that happened.
And this connects with that moment.
(32:40):
When I don't need a hero.
What's the line here?
I did when I don't need ahero, I don't need a soldier.
I did when I was younger butnow that I'm older, I don't need
a father.
I don't want to be your mother.
It's just that any one of usis half without another one is you.
(33:04):
I know this is not what thesong is actually about, but then
again, the universe set.
The universality of lyrics isthat this was about my strained relationship
with my father and how theargument that we had, which was.
Which is a huge argument, man.
(33:30):
I don't know.
I could go on, but I.
Maybe I shouldn't.
This is really tough for me.
So let's just move on to thenext song.
It's.
It's.
I'm very curious what otherpeople read in these lyrics and if
they make a personalconnection themselves.
The next song is.
Starts off side two.
(33:51):
Days and days.
(34:14):
The dirty leaves are sailingon a hot wind ocean and the summer
comes and summer goes andalways has and will and something
somewhere that you said goesricochet all through my head and
flashing like a neon sign thetime stood still and I was up forever
Running all together like thecrossroads of a minute.
(34:48):
Another great song, one that Iappreciate more and more.
I didn't.
I. I liked it.
It was like one of myfavorites because again, I like my
uptempo songs and I like this song.
And I thought it was good.
And I never really looked intolyrically or anything like that.
But then later, as I'm comingback to it, and it's like, this is
a really great song.
(35:09):
Is it my favorite song of the album?
Nah, probably not anymore.
I think I get more resonancewith other things that happen this
album, but nonetheless a great song.
Definitely doesn't get a downvote for me.
The song after this, again,like this one, it might have been
considered a weaker song by meat the time, but it's not.
(35:32):
There's a lot of things goingon in this next song called the Beast.
Take a listen.
(36:07):
Blood and murder colliding sofine between coping and hurting.
Great tune.
(36:31):
Here.
Love is the ghost hauntingyour head Love is the killer you
thought was your friend Loveis the creature who lives in the
dark sneaks up, will stick youand painfully pick you apart.
Love is a poet, Love sings thesongs pointing his finger you follow
along, voices are calling, themonster wants out of you, paws you
(36:55):
and claws you, try not to fall.
Love is the leech sucking you up.
Love is a vampire drunk onyour blood.
Love is the beast that willtear out your heart hungrily, lick
it and painfully pick it apart.
Look, she was hurt by love.
We've all been hurt by love atone point or another, except those
that marry the high schoolsweethearts and are still together.
(37:17):
But I went through a lot of.
Shh.
Well, not a lot.
I'm exaggerating.
I went through a couple ofreally, really bad relationships.
And this was the.
Yeah.
Love is not real.
Love is not a thing.
People are or are evil.
(37:38):
Everyone wants to hurt people.
I had such.
This negative headspace aboutrelationships and all that sort of
stuff because I had been withpeople that were going through stuff
and were not in the rightheadspace to be in a relationship.
And that damage I wassuffering, I was not in the right
(37:59):
headspace to be with anybody either.
So you take a couple of peoplethat are not in a good headspace,
they're both broken, and theyboth get together.
Like, it's not going to be good.
It's not going to be good.
It's not going to be good at all.
Like, so I was, you know, Iwas in a bad space and this.
(38:21):
This song was like, yeah,like, love is not a real thing.
It's just something thatpeople pine about.
It's fantasy.
It's all this sort of stuff.
So, sorry, dude.
This song has a lot of impact.
The next song is also great.
It's called the.
Sorry.
It's called Lullaby.
(39:15):
Her execution on the vocals inthis song are beautiful.
And as I listened to this muchlater in life, having a couple of
kids and the importance of a lullaby.
And there was a period therewhere I was singing, particularly
Abby to sleep.
(39:35):
Every night I would sing Lullaby.
I would make up songs to lullher to sleep.
And just that sense ofprotection and wanting to be everything
for them.
The safe place to fall, thedeep hug you need when you know I
just.
Being protective of your kidsand loving your kids and willing
(39:57):
to do anything to keep them safe.
This is what I'm getting.
Like a blanket on yourshoulder and the moon is like a mother
looking over you forever andthe dawn is so familiar you you were
meant to be together Like afog around a mountain forever, forever
(40:20):
and ever when she says it'slike, oh, my God.
I just.
I love my kids so much, and Iknow that's not likely.
I think there's a.
There's a sense of loss, oflosing someone very important to
you in the song.
But again, a song can havemany different meanings and interpretations,
and for me, this is lookingafter my kids and being worried about
(40:43):
them because, you know, we'vehad some issues with the kids that
we've had to work through tokeep them safe and to keep them protected.
And I hear the song, and Ijust, like.
I just want to go hug my kidsand make sure they're okay, make
sure they know I love them allthis sort of thing.
This song is, like, great.
(41:05):
The next song on the album isthe big hit, and honestly, it used
to play quite a bit when I wasworking in the bookstore on the radio
station.
And I kind of got sick of thesong for a while because it was overplayed
quite a bit in Canada anyway.
But I've come back around tothe song.
This song is great.
It's really good.
The next song is called Joey,.
(41:35):
Joey Baby.
So in hindsight, I feel like Iam Jeanette in this song, and I'm
singing to one of my exes, andI'm like, what the hell's going on?
(42:00):
You know, why is things not working?
What is wrong with you now?
Like, well, what.
What.
What problem are we having now?
It's the same problem over and over.
And I'm doing my best to dealwith the problem.
Won't go into details here,but let's just say that the relationships
(42:20):
I talked about before, well,this is about that.
Person.
And kind of picking up thepieces every time and saying, okay,
well, maybe this is the last time.
Maybe this is the last problem.
Maybe this is the last occurrence.
And the.
The interesting thing was, atthe time, at each of those times,
(42:42):
I'm very private.
And I wasn't sharing what wasgoing on.
I wasn't sharing theduplicitous details about what was
going on because I was beingpretty protective.
Again, Lullaby at the time forme was me protecting and not letting
people know the truth aboutsome of the ugly stuff that was happening.
And me trying my best to,like, you know what?
(43:04):
She'll be better.
We can.
I can help make her better.
I can.
You know, I can be reassured.
Like, I can reassure her.
I can make her feel better.
I can look after her.
I can, you know, save her from herself.
I can.
I was trying to do all thesethings, but I was not equipped.
And this song, to me Justfeels like that.
Okay, I'm gonna lie for you again.
(43:25):
I'm not gonna let people knowwhat's going on.
I'll make up a story aboutwhat really happened.
And then in the end.
So here's the thing about whenyou are covering for people, covering
certain behaviors and certainthings that are happening, you become
(43:46):
enabling of that behavior bycovering it up and not letting the
truth come out.
And it's not my place to say,this person did that, this person
did that.
Hey, everybody, this is what'sreally happening.
It's not my place to do that.
But covering over and overagain, the things that are happening,
(44:07):
it's.
It's destructive in the end.
And in the end, like, I'm not.
I don't have the tools to lookafter these things.
And Joey is the epitome of asong where you're covering and covering.
It's like, okay, you know what?
This is probably the last time.
But you know what?
Maybe you hurt me, but I'mokay now.
(44:28):
We get past that last incidentthat just happened.
Let's move on.
And you know what?
We have good days and we, youknow, we love each other and all
this stuff.
But then the bad day comesagain, you know, Read through the
lyrics, man.
Detours, fences I getdefensive I know you've heard it
all before so I won't say itanymore Yep, I just stand by and
(44:52):
let you fight your secret warand I thought I used to wonder why
and sorry.
And though I used to wonderwhy I used to cry till I was dry
still sometimes I get astrange pain inside oh, Jury.
Joey, if you're hurting, so am I.
This is me singing to somebodyfor sure.
Anyway, we're going to thelast song.
(45:14):
I'm going to play the whole thing.
And, boy, this song had a lotof resonance for me.
How do I say this?
Okay, so my best friendgrowing up died at 25.
(45:42):
It was.
Probably the worst I ever feltin my life.
And the loss of him reallydrove the next 10 years of my life
from 25 to 35.
And the relationships I was inbefore his passing and after his
(46:07):
passing and for many yearsafter his passing guided my inner.
It guided how I viewed the world.
It was very negative.
It took me a long time to grieve.
(46:29):
And Honestly, it was 10 yearsafter his passing that I met my wife,
Sylvie.
And it was at that moment thatI allowed myself to end the grieving.
I still miss.
I still miss that guy morethan you realize.
(46:51):
But at least I had someone whocared for me.
Deeply.
Who I could talk to aboutthese feelings I had and I could
actually be myself with.
And you know that 10 years of.
10 years of grief is what it was.
And again, I can't say it enough.
(47:12):
This album is all that.
That's.
That's exactly where myheadspace was.
And if this last song doesn'tdestroy you, there's something wrong
with you.
Because it destroys me everytime I hear it.
So here we go.
It's called Tomorrow, Wendy.
(47:50):
It is complete now.
Two ends of time are neatlytied oh, wide with street she's walking
to the end of the line andthere she meets the faces she keeps
in her heart and mind they saygoodbye tomorrow when you're going
(48:14):
to die.
Tomorrow when we are going to die.
Underneath the chilly grayNovember sky We can make believe
(48:40):
that Kennedy is still alivewe're shooting for the moon and smiling
Jack is driving by they saygood try tomorrow going to die.
(49:15):
I told the priest don't counton any second coming kick the first
time he came down his stomachhe had the most to come the thoughts
would die and then forgive usno, I don't wonder why I wonder what
it thought it would get ushey, hey Goodbye tomorrow When he's
(49:44):
going to die Sam.
(50:13):
Sa.
(50:38):
God.
(51:04):
Goodbye tomorrow.
When.
(51:30):
That.
(52:00):
Hey Goodbye tomorrow when hegoing to die Goodbye tomorrow When
he is going to die.
(52:30):
Holy balls.
Holy balls.
That one's heavy.
It was actually a single.
I didn't realize this.
(52:56):
It's not.
Jeanette didn't write this song.
It was written by.
Oh my God.
It is pre boy.
Pre boy.
So.
(53:19):
Tamora Wendy was inspired bythe suicide of a woman who Priest
Boy had known from a young agewhen they were both growing up in
East Chicago.
Wendy later turned toprostitution and drugs.
And when she was diagnosedwith hiv, she decided to die by suicide
by taking a heroin overdoserather than go to die of an AIDS
related disease.
(53:41):
And is quoting Pre Boy.
What the hell is his name?
Wendy was the type that justbided her time, took drugs and took
what was offered to her.
Her suicide was the one bigtime in her life when she'd look
when she took charge.
Basically, the song is aconversation she's having with the
mirror.
These are the feelings of ragethat Wendy felt.
(54:07):
Oh my God.
I don't even know if I could.
I'm gonna play the original version.
(54:29):
It is completely.
Two ends of time are neatlytied A one way street she's walking
to the end of the line Thereshe meets the faces she keeps in
her heart and mind they Saygoodbye Tomorrow Wendy is going to
(54:53):
die.
Tomorrow Wendy is going to die.
Underneath the chilly grayNovember sky.
(55:17):
You can make believe thatKennedy is still alive by they're
shooting for the moon andsmiling Jack is driving by this.
And honestly, this was megrieving my friend, my best friend,
(55:40):
Shouting at the skies, cursingGod, giving him crisis of faith,
crisis of belief in anything.
If the, you know, one of thebest people on the planet gets taken
from all of us, who impactedall of us, who is important to all
(56:03):
of us gets taken away, thenwhat kind of world do we live in?
And then the people thatsurvive and the people that are taken
away.
That there's.
The tally doesn't add up properly.
Like the.
The wicked continue and the.
(56:24):
The kind souls don't.
Anyway.
What a way to end a record.
I understand why Jeanettenever wanted to make a record like
this again.
I wouldn't want to make arecord like this ever.
I have done recordings.
I have written songs that arethis sad and depressing.
(56:49):
And I think you all canunderstand why this song is probably
the best song on the album,why this song is important, why this
song is influential.
And to finish off,Bloodletting is a classic, not just
(57:10):
for good songs or great songs,but for emotional intensity, emotional
integrity, and for taking yousomewhere and then dumping you at
the end in your own misery.
It's not an album I can listento often, and I have to be sure I'm
strong when I do, because itis a bit of a soundtrack for that
(57:35):
lost 10 years of life that Ihad after my friend's passing.
And I don't know if.
If those of you listening tothe episode, look, you don't like
the album, you don't like theband, that's fine.
(57:55):
It's totally fine.
But this album is so fucking important.
And this is an album thatbroke me and strongly influenced.
Influenced my songwriting afterwards.
If you listen to Paradigm offour Dome album, it definitely gets
(58:17):
inspiration from this album interms of emotional intensity.
And I. I challenge anybody tohave that has listened to our band
Dome and that has listened tothat song to actually listen to the
lyrics and see if you can drawthe story line that runs through
that.
(58:37):
It is.
It's an emotional song.
And when we played it live, Ialways struggled with it.
And there was one show that weplayed when we played that song.
I'll just probably play it atthe end of the episode anyway.
But there's a.
(58:58):
We played this at the Saint Boniface.
At Saint Boniface.
Saint B.
Club Saint B.
And I remember people in theaudience were just standing there
watching us perform the songand they were, they weren't rocking
out, they weren't moshing,they were just paying attention and
(59:22):
when the song was done theythe cheering was through the roof
and everybody looked really emotional.
So you know what, we'll just.
You know what?
Instead of ending on thedowner that is tomorrow Wendy, maybe
we'll end on the downer thatis paradigm and see if you guys can
(59:42):
put together what you thinkthat song is about.
Anyway, thanks for listening.
Thanks for joining us onbreaking I hope you enjoyed the episode
this is one I'd wanted to dofor a number of years and was too
afraid to do but today I hadthe courage.
May you also have the courageand if you are facing hard times,
(01:00:03):
despair, depression, pleasereach out, even reach out to me,
man.
I will do my best to lift youup and hopefully clear the fog because
everyone is beautiful andeveryone deserves to be heard.
Peace out.
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