January 2, 2024 • 29 mins
First, can we rebrand New Year's Resolutions to New Year's Intentions? I invite you to look up the meaning of 'resolution' and 'intention'.
Please let me know which one feels more expansive for you :) DM or email, I'm truly curious!
Today's episode is about the important process of integration. The step that comes after awareness and before action. The process of integration creates empowering transformation.
Not just a quick fix or bandaid.
I'll share some practical integration tools that can shift limiting beliefs, alchemize empowering action and rewire neural pathways.
Links to mentions on episode:
- Nadia Gabrielle: Projectors Invited & Service Design School
Want to connect? Find me on theblueprintbyjz.com or Instagram
Have a question or topic request? I love answering your burning questions and discussing what you're passionate about. Think of me as your "down to talk about anything" in-house executive coach.
Send all questions and topic requests to hello@theblueprintbyjz.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jessie Anne Zayas (00:01):
Hello and welcome. This is Jesse and syas
with self love stories. Happy,Happy New Year, y'all. Oh my
goodness 2024 numerology, it isthe number eight, which number
eight represents infinity, thatinfinite spiral. So I think it's
(00:27):
beautiful level said. So we'retalking about integration today.
And as a loving reminder, beforeI even start with anything that
even take a deep breath of this,like, Let's all say it together,
let's all together there is nodestination, the journey is the
(00:52):
reward. Look at that in terms ofspiral. In terms of infinity, it
will continue to go, the journeywill continue to go in through
that journey. There'll bebeautiful milestones, right that
I think sometimes we considerthese destination points. But as
we know, life still moves on, westill move on, there's still a
(01:16):
yearning, there's still acalling for growth, for
movement. So all that to say,you don't need to be anything,
anywhere. Right now, other thanhere, and right now, you are not
late, you're not behind, youhaven't screwed up, you haven't
(01:37):
messed up none of that. You'reexactly where you need to be.
And I share this because I don'tknow about y'all. But usually in
the new year and past life, Iwould have the best intentions,
you know, starting from Decemberto be like, Okay, I'm gonna you
know, I'm going to get preppedright for the new year for the
(01:59):
new year. And this is what Iwant. And this is what I want to
create. And these are the newshifts that I want to create in
my life. And energetically, thatjust felt very heavy for me too,
because there's a lot going onin December and again in past
life and current life I work inhospitality entertainment a lot
of times and you know, holidayseasons is the busy season said
(02:21):
it is going. So again, there,there was a lot of energy
happening around me during theholiday season. So feeling
already rushed and pushed tofigure this out. And I don't
know about you, but it neverfelt really empowering to me, I
felt like I was always rushingto the new intention, I was
(02:43):
rushing into the new year oragain, you know, joking around
like, I can't believe it'salready, you know, fill in the
blank. So, you know, I want toset us into energetically this
time, which is winter rate. Andif you remember the winter
solstice was actually a fewweeks back in December. And, you
know, again, I don't know abouty'all, but already from
(03:05):
Thanksgiving. So especiallyculturally, here in the United
States, a lot of people practiceThanksgiving or national
indigenous peoples day. Andduring that time, energetically
to the New Year, things are justgoing right it's holiday season,
there's holiday parties goingon. You know, a lot of people
(03:26):
subscribe to the buying apresence and shopping. And so
there's already all thisenergetic, I'm going to call it
noise for lack of a betterexpression. It's movement, it's
going, we're being sold towe're, we're saying here's this
new gadget, here's this newthing, here's Black Friday,
here's this deal, here's thisdiscount. So again, there's
energetically a lot going on.
And so then we like push throughthe birth canal into the new
(03:51):
year, it's like pop out, it'slike alright, now be this new
you this, this version of youthat you want it and it's like
didn't even have time to eventhink about that to even level
set with what is it that Iactually want to create in the
new year. So again, let's notsubscribe to these arbitrary
dates, let's not subscribe toculturally conditionally, what
(04:11):
we've been told that we need todo and there's a certain
timeframe for that. And we'reeither you know, on time or
we're not on time. Let's try toremove that conditioning for a
moment. And again, setting intothis winter, you know, we are in
winter, January is winter. Andif you look out out to nature,
(04:32):
which I love to do, because Ifeel like it's a very beautiful
reflection of what happens inour own internal bodies and our
own internal worlds. So inwinter when we look out right,
the trees have removed theirleaves. You know, I don't know
if you have some house plants ora garden or you walk by a
(04:54):
garden, but all the everything'sa very slow low growth, even if
it is growing, by the way,right, a lot of, for example,
you know, succulents or someflowering plants have actually
even stopped growing altogether.
There any arrest state, however,there's a lot going on still in
(05:19):
the root system, right? There'sstill this slow grow slow
renewal, the trees have to shedtheir leaves to then grow new
leaves for the new year. So weare in this winter phase right
now of slow growth of renewableand getting ready for that bloom
(05:42):
again in spring. So that Ialmost asked, Why then, are we
working energetically againstthat energy in a way, right?
That, that we feel again, and Isay we right, I'm kind of more
saying, you know, culturally,from our culturally sis, our
society, right, that we feelthis need that January one,
(06:06):
boom, you know, figure it out,start, do your meal, prepping,
start eating healthy, so on andso forth. But have you really
done what all these plants aredoing for a whole season, mind
you, right? For whole threemonths of slowing down, renewing
(06:26):
and getting ready and sheddingto get ready for that bloom
again in spring. Sointentionally slowing down in
mindfully gearing up is one ofthe biggest things I want to
kind of speak about today. Idon't know about you, but you
(06:49):
know, something I've been reallyworking on. And a lot of my past
conditioning had me pushing andpushing to get into action. So
for example, if I learnedsomething, or, you know, wanted
to aspire to, you know, grow anew habit or more empowered
(07:12):
habit, or have a more empoweringroutine, or, you know,
experience more joy, whateverthe intention was, and was push
myself from that insight phase,directly into that action phase.
And is skipped over thisintegration phase. So let's take
a moment and talk about like,what is integrating. And
(07:36):
integrating is that beautifulmoment before that right? After
awareness. So you know, whenyou're in that self discovery,
awareness phase of maybediscovering that something's out
of alignment for you maybediscovering something you want
to change, maybe discoveringsomething you want to transform,
maybe being inspired by someoneelse, or by a new learning a new
(08:00):
teaching, that now you reallywant to bring into your life. So
boom, awareness. And thenthere's the integration phase,
which I would say what wouldactually be the second phase,
but a lot of times we go then,okay, make it happen. What's the
action? What's the plan? Writeit out and do it. So I invite
you, before we get into thatphase, what if integration phase
(08:24):
could be now could be January,February, into March? Right
before that spring time? Andwhat if during this integration
phase, you're actually feelingwhat that new routine felt like?
Sitting with it for a second,sit? Two minutes? Close your
eyes? How does that new routinefeel like? What kind of person
(08:51):
am I? When I dedicate myself tothat morning routine, for
example, for using morningroutine and moralizing? I'm just
rolling with us examples thatlets us know hey, I have this
newfound awareness that when Iset my mornings up for me, and
what does that mean? So again,here's another integration base.
So what does that mean? settingyourself up successfully for the
(09:13):
morning, setting yourself up?
For the most empowered morningroutine? actually taking a
moment and sitting with that?
What does that actually looklike?
What does that actually feellike? What does that actually
look like for you? Because maybeyou are inspired? Maybe you, you
know, have an a picture in yourmind. Have you had a moment to
(09:37):
really detail that out? How doyou move out of the band? What's
the first thing you experience?
How does that feel and reallyintegrated into your body? Why
is that so important? Well, weknow from a scientific
perspective, from a neuroscienceperspective, even just the
visualization addition of doinga new habit, a new routine, a
(10:01):
new, a new, you know, mindsetshift, for example, a rethinking
how you would handle asituation, even just playing
that out in your head, createsnew neural pathways, which then
create your ad, you're almostlike creating the halo effect
for you than to create thataction in your body. Right. So
(10:23):
from a scientific perspective,we know this to be true, there's
actually a study that you canlook, look up, it's, it's a
basketball study with freethrows, for example, and they
had one control group, justvisualize it, and they had the
other group actually practiceevery day. And the group that
visualize actually had a higherpercentage than the group that
(10:43):
did not visualize. So again,just the importance of
visualization, even seeingyourself in that moment, in that
place already. Which from, youknow, I will call it like a
spiritual perspective. We knowthis to be true with
manifestation. It's not that I,you know, just can sit there and
be like, I want a milliondollars, it's fine. What does
(11:03):
that feel like, energetically?
What would I be doing with thatmoney? How would I be spending
it? How would I be honoring it?
How does that feel energeticallyin my body, right? So really
taking these moments tointegrate what we actually want
to create who we want to bebecome what we want to shift. So
(11:24):
it's so important this phase,because, you know, again, from
my own experience, when I passthrough this phase, that's when
I realized that these thingsdidn't stick, they didn't, that
true transformation didn'thappen for me, because I wasn't
growing that capacity, and alsointegrating it into all parts of
(11:50):
me. And again, it's thatdifference of just, you know,
really taking your time. Andalmost like, for example, I
know, some people have heard oflike habit stacking, right,
taking your time, and justadding one new habit, and then
another new habit and thenstacking that habit on that
(12:11):
habit. So, you know, I justinvite you to slow down to take
this moment of integration,because I promise you, what
you're actually wanting tocreate, is going to happen from
a place of true transformation,holistic transformation, if you
(12:34):
do this integration phase. So Ishare all this, because I just,
I feel so passionate about this,because for me, I found that
resisting the urge to jump startto stop piling more onto my
plate when it's already full. Toslow down when everything around
(12:54):
me says to speed up. Trust me,it took practice in time. And
I'm happy to say this year wasthe most luscious, empowering
soul expansive experience,because I did that. So I want to
share some ways to integrate. Soto actually put this into
practice, and there's so manydifferent ways for integration,
(13:17):
but one that we just spoke aboutwas visualization. So there's so
many amazing apps out there,even on Spotify, some really
great meditative meditationprompts. So to actually have
somebody guide you intovisualization for me is really
(13:39):
helpful. If it isn't for you,and you rather just sit there in
silence, or put even a timer onfor two minutes, if that even
just sounds a little toorestrictive for you. Or this is
something that's new for you.
Even putting a timer on for twominutes, three minutes, and just
closing your eyes andvisualizing yourself in that
(13:59):
state would be so supportive.
And so helpful, I promise. Andsome things I just want to
invite you. When you're doingthis is you might realize, huh,
that's interesting. When Ivisualized this, I actually
didn't like, you know, I thoughtI would experience feelings of
joy and expansiveness. Andactually, that's not what I
(14:21):
really want. Or you realize itis and it feels so good. And it
feels so right. And now you'reeven more clear about how to
create that and make thathappen. So again, the invitation
here is to not rush into action.
But to actually visualize thisnew action, this new behavior,
this new being, in your mind, inyour mind's eye to journaling. I
(14:50):
think journaling is such a greatway to integrate and it's asking
yourself questions, you know, soif we I'm trying to think of
like a new Your intention couldbe I want to experience more
play. So you might journal. Whatdoes play mean to me? How does
(15:11):
play show up in my life? When Ianchor on the feeling of play?
How does that feel like, in mybody? Where do I feel it? What
(15:32):
sensations show up for me? Howcan I incorporate play in my
relationships in my career, andmy relationship to self. So as
you can see, you can have thisdialogue with yourself, which a
(15:55):
lot of times we don't we thinkwe have a dialogue in our mind.
And, you know, a lot of timesit's actually you know, some
people call it for example, theinner critic or the ego. Or this
or your saboteur is for example.
And so you're really not havinga conversation with you, with
your heart, with your soul withyour truest self. So that
journaling medium kind ofbecomes a vessel for you to
(16:17):
create that space, and to createthat relationship to really be
hearing and seeing what comesout during these moments. And
again, you might feel someresistance if this is new for
you new to journal, and youknow, some of the resistance
that I've seen in a lot ofclients of mine has been almost
the fear of seeing what whatthey actually come up with what
(16:40):
what actually transpires whatshows up for them. And that is
totally normal. And that istotally okay. So again, take
baby steps here, take microsteps. That's the other thing
that I kind of want to pausehere to any new action, any new
habit, any new way of being anynew thing that you're you're
trying to create in your life?
(17:04):
How can you break that up into amillion pieces, or 1000 pieces,
or 10 pieces, or five pieces, myinvitation is here, a lot of
times this new thing actuallyhas a lot of micro steps
underneath it. And that's why awe end up getting really
frustrated when it doesn'thappen, because then we realize,
oh, I needed to do this thing,this thing, this thing, this
(17:25):
thing, this thing, this thing toget to this thing. And again,
going back to the integrationpiece, this is a really
beautiful time to discover whatlittle pieces might need to
happen in order for that, thatexperience that intention to
fully to fully come alive, intoagain, showing you and giving
you that permission, that it'sgoing to take time and that's
(17:46):
okay. Time and practices. Okay.
And trust me coming from handsup woman over here say that I
had such a an aversion topractice. You know, I some of my
conditioning comes from, youknow, this, you know, military
background of like, get itright, get it right the first
(18:08):
time, go, go, go go. So for me,I really had to support my
tendencies of perfectionism, Ihad tendencies of high
achievement of overperformanceinto really take a take a step
back and say, a lot of these newways of me being are so
different from my current being,it's going to take time, and
(18:28):
that's okay. And it's going totake practice, in in practice is
progress. Practice is progress.
Mistakes are beautiful. Theycarry so much wisdom. This isn't
a journey of perfectionism. Thisisn't a life of perfect. This is
(18:51):
a life of enjoyment. This is alife of love. This is a life of
peace, of calm, of flow of ease.
And so just take that time,you're not behind, you're
exactly where you need to be.
Another integration tool that Ilove to use that I actually
(19:13):
learn this from this amazingwoman, I'll link her Nadia, she
runs theshe runs his amazing projectors
Instagram page, and she also hasthis amazing service design
school. And when I attended, Ireally enjoyed her part about
growing capacity. And she's thecapacity expert over here. So
(19:34):
again, like I said, I'll linkher end. But one thing I really
loved from from her toolbox ofall these amazing tools was this
affirmation practice. And someof you might be going love
affirmations give me give me andsome of you might be rolling
eyes and be like, affirmations.
(19:56):
Hear me out. So one, going backto the science behind this. So
there might be a limiting beliefyou have around the thing that
you are creating the shift thatyou're trying to create, even
what you're trying to welcomemore in your life. So for
example, I want to experiencemore joy, or I want to
(20:17):
experience more rest, theremight be a limiting belief
behind that, that again, that Iinvite you during the
integration phase, to see if itshows up. So maybe there's a
belief that when I rest, I'mlazy, right? And so how can you
take that, and actually createan affirmation, that's an a
(20:37):
more, that's an empoweringaffirmation, that helps shift
that limiting belief. So forexample, when I rest, I have
full strength and power toaccomplish all the desires and
dreams I have in my life. As anexample, you can make that
(21:00):
shorter, you can make it longeryou can make it whatever you
want. The coolest thing aboutthis is, you're going to record
this affirmation, you're goingto record it a few times, you
know, get it to about, I wouldsay about five minutes if you
can. And if you can't say itfive minutes over, you can copy
it on like an audio loop andjust have it play on repeat for
(21:22):
five minutes. So the importantthing about this is that you
play this recording, thisrecording of your affirmation
that shifting this limitingbelief that is buried in your
subconscious, because it'sanother thing that I've
experienced in coaching, andcoaching clients that have such
beautiful awareness, they willeven say they feel a resistance
(21:45):
in their body. Or they, theydon't know why they feel such a
resistance, like they want it sobad. But there's a resistance
there. So what we usuallydiscover there's a limiting
belief, and this limiting beliefis usually anchored into
something very deep. But insteadof having to go there, right and
discover that which again, Iencourage you all to do at your
own time. And different modes oftherapy are wonderful for this.
(22:08):
But for the sake of thisconversation, you know, we don't
have to go the route right now.
But what we can is we can helpthe subconscious grow capacity
and shift that limiting beliefthat is probably still anchored
in there. So if we take thisexample of you know, when I
rest, I'm lazy. And then wewrote this affirmation, and then
we said this affirmation outloud, and then we recorded
(22:31):
ourselves for five minutessaying this affirmation out
loud, take this affirmation, andplay it right before you go to
bed. And, or right when you wakeup. Why? Because your mind is in
a theta state. And when it is intheta, these are the second
(22:51):
slowest brainwaves, and they'reconnected to the subconscious
mind. And remember, yoursubconscious mind, what is it
like 90 or 95% of like, truly,where your thoughts and patterns
and everything comes from weonly use, you know, the
conscious mind is what like onlylike 5% or something crazy like
(23:13):
that. Sorry, I don't have thesign in front of me. But all
that to say, conscious reallyisn't taking up that much
capacity. It's your subconsciousin So to that point, how are
again, how are we integratingall parts of our being mind,
body, and spirit. And this is aperfect one for the mind because
it needs a little support andneeds a little help with the
(23:35):
subconscious. So when you are inthis theta state, so right, when
you're dropping into sleep, soif that's what you're playing
at, right when you go to sleep,or right when you're waking up,
it is connecting to thatsubconscious state. So it's
helping again, from a scientificperspective, rewiring, shifting
that mindset. And that's anotherway to integrate. And last but
(23:57):
not least, and again, I saidthere's so many different ways
to integrate. But last of myfavorites is something truly
visual. So like a collage. Youknow, some people call this like
their, you know, their moodboard or their manifestation
board. But it's just somethingvisual. You can see I'm a very
(24:18):
visual person, so sometimeshelps me see things that I'm
wanting to experience and I'mwanting to create an anchor on
that visually. So what does thatactually look like? So this can
look like a fun project. I mean,cutting things touching things
like using your hands, whichagain, from a neuroscience
(24:41):
perspective, from a scientificperspective is really great for
you to use your hands and kindof create things, again,
integrates, or if you're more ofa digital person through some
great Canva links. I'll see if Ican drop one in here. I have
doing virtual collage boards IIalso Pinterest, y'all doing a
(25:04):
Pinterest board keeping itprivate, and pinning inspiration
on, you know, that new thingthat you're wanting to
experience? Or integrate orshift? Again? How do you feel?
What does that look like? How doyou carry yourself? Does this
person, you know, wear differentkinds of clothes. So we can just
(25:25):
be open, be curious to see whatelse shows up, as you're
visually bringing thisexperience forth. So you can
actually see it in 3d. And byseeing it in 3d, every day, you
can save it I've have had agirlfriend would screenshot it
(25:47):
and put it as her background forher phone. So she would see that
mood board every single day. Andso again, that that daily action
of seeing that thing, so notonly will let me take a step
back, not only creating thatthing, right, it's going to be
so powerful for you, becauseagain, you're gonna get so many
(26:09):
insights and learnings fromthat. Checking in Ooh, is that
in alignment? Is that not inalignment? Do I actually really
want this? Oh, that feels good.
Oh, I didn't realize that's whatI want it like, you're gonna get
all this beautiful insight. Andthen once you create this thing,
then you're imprinting it everysingle day, in your mind, in
(26:29):
your subconscious in your body,in your spirit, all of it,
you're just seeing it every day.
Which by the way, if you look atit in the opposite, right,
seeing something that's not inalignment with you, or seeing
something that, you know, putsyou in a good or a bad mood, or
doesn't make you feel good everysingle day, we end up attracting
those things, or they end upstaying in our lives. So the
invitation here is to surroundyourself visually with things
(26:52):
that are going to empower youfor this new shift. All right,
y'all wanted to keep this oneshort and sweet. I hope i i hope
i accomplish that. But mybiggest thing and my biggest
takeaway for you all and why Iwanted to record the specific
(27:12):
episode was there are no bar badparts. There are no bad habits,
you're not doing anything wrong.
And all you're doing is movingtowards a more empowering place.
And that might look like moreempowering habits that might
(27:34):
look like more empowering. Amore empowering job. That might
look like a more empoweringrelationship. That might look
like a more empoweringrelationship with yourself. And
that's all we're moving towards.
And to take that moment tointegrate that, to feel it, to
experience it. And then just totake daily small action towards
(27:57):
it. But don't feel like you haveto rewrite your life right now.
Don't feel like you're alreadybehind. Don't feel like you're
really screwed up your NewYear's resolution. By the way,
what is time anyways? Seriously,though, take your time, slow
down. You're even energeticallyin the season to slow down and
(28:19):
to integrate. So take that. Takeit with you into this new year.
This year of beautiful, lusciousintegration, because you'll
always be on the journey. Andmay Your journey be one of ease
of love, of abundance of healthand so much good fortune.
(28:43):
Sending you so many blessings.
Goodbye for now.
Hello and welcome. This is Jesse and syas
with self love stories. Happy,Happy New Year, y'all. Oh my
goodness 2024 numerology, it isthe number eight, which number
eight represents infinity, thatinfinite spiral. So I think it's
(00:27):
beautiful level said. So we'retalking about integration today.
And as a loving reminder, beforeI even start with anything that
even take a deep breath of this,like, Let's all say it together,
let's all together there is nodestination, the journey is the
(00:52):
reward. Look at that in terms ofspiral. In terms of infinity, it
will continue to go, the journeywill continue to go in through
that journey. There'll bebeautiful milestones, right that
I think sometimes we considerthese destination points. But as
we know, life still moves on, westill move on, there's still a
(01:16):
yearning, there's still acalling for growth, for
movement. So all that to say,you don't need to be anything,
anywhere. Right now, other thanhere, and right now, you are not
late, you're not behind, youhaven't screwed up, you haven't
(01:37):
messed up none of that. You'reexactly where you need to be.
And I share this because I don'tknow about y'all. But usually in
the new year and past life, Iwould have the best intentions,
you know, starting from Decemberto be like, Okay, I'm gonna you
know, I'm going to get preppedright for the new year for the
(01:59):
new year. And this is what Iwant. And this is what I want to
create. And these are the newshifts that I want to create in
my life. And energetically, thatjust felt very heavy for me too,
because there's a lot going onin December and again in past
life and current life I work inhospitality entertainment a lot
of times and you know, holidayseasons is the busy season said
(02:21):
it is going. So again, there,there was a lot of energy
happening around me during theholiday season. So feeling
already rushed and pushed tofigure this out. And I don't
know about you, but it neverfelt really empowering to me, I
felt like I was always rushingto the new intention, I was
(02:43):
rushing into the new year oragain, you know, joking around
like, I can't believe it'salready, you know, fill in the
blank. So, you know, I want toset us into energetically this
time, which is winter rate. Andif you remember the winter
solstice was actually a fewweeks back in December. And, you
know, again, I don't know abouty'all, but already from
(03:05):
Thanksgiving. So especiallyculturally, here in the United
States, a lot of people practiceThanksgiving or national
indigenous peoples day. Andduring that time, energetically
to the New Year, things are justgoing right it's holiday season,
there's holiday parties goingon. You know, a lot of people
(03:26):
subscribe to the buying apresence and shopping. And so
there's already all thisenergetic, I'm going to call it
noise for lack of a betterexpression. It's movement, it's
going, we're being sold towe're, we're saying here's this
new gadget, here's this newthing, here's Black Friday,
here's this deal, here's thisdiscount. So again, there's
energetically a lot going on.
And so then we like push throughthe birth canal into the new
(03:51):
year, it's like pop out, it'slike alright, now be this new
you this, this version of youthat you want it and it's like
didn't even have time to eventhink about that to even level
set with what is it that Iactually want to create in the
new year. So again, let's notsubscribe to these arbitrary
dates, let's not subscribe toculturally conditionally, what
(04:11):
we've been told that we need todo and there's a certain
timeframe for that. And we'reeither you know, on time or
we're not on time. Let's try toremove that conditioning for a
moment. And again, setting intothis winter, you know, we are in
winter, January is winter. Andif you look out out to nature,
(04:32):
which I love to do, because Ifeel like it's a very beautiful
reflection of what happens inour own internal bodies and our
own internal worlds. So inwinter when we look out right,
the trees have removed theirleaves. You know, I don't know
if you have some house plants ora garden or you walk by a
(04:54):
garden, but all the everything'sa very slow low growth, even if
it is growing, by the way,right, a lot of, for example,
you know, succulents or someflowering plants have actually
even stopped growing altogether.
There any arrest state, however,there's a lot going on still in
(05:19):
the root system, right? There'sstill this slow grow slow
renewal, the trees have to shedtheir leaves to then grow new
leaves for the new year. So weare in this winter phase right
now of slow growth of renewableand getting ready for that bloom
(05:42):
again in spring. So that Ialmost asked, Why then, are we
working energetically againstthat energy in a way, right?
That, that we feel again, and Isay we right, I'm kind of more
saying, you know, culturally,from our culturally sis, our
society, right, that we feelthis need that January one,
(06:06):
boom, you know, figure it out,start, do your meal, prepping,
start eating healthy, so on andso forth. But have you really
done what all these plants aredoing for a whole season, mind
you, right? For whole threemonths of slowing down, renewing
(06:26):
and getting ready and sheddingto get ready for that bloom
again in spring. Sointentionally slowing down in
mindfully gearing up is one ofthe biggest things I want to
kind of speak about today. Idon't know about you, but you
(06:49):
know, something I've been reallyworking on. And a lot of my past
conditioning had me pushing andpushing to get into action. So
for example, if I learnedsomething, or, you know, wanted
to aspire to, you know, grow anew habit or more empowered
(07:12):
habit, or have a more empoweringroutine, or, you know,
experience more joy, whateverthe intention was, and was push
myself from that insight phase,directly into that action phase.
And is skipped over thisintegration phase. So let's take
a moment and talk about like,what is integrating. And
(07:36):
integrating is that beautifulmoment before that right? After
awareness. So you know, whenyou're in that self discovery,
awareness phase of maybediscovering that something's out
of alignment for you maybediscovering something you want
to change, maybe discoveringsomething you want to transform,
maybe being inspired by someoneelse, or by a new learning a new
(08:00):
teaching, that now you reallywant to bring into your life. So
boom, awareness. And thenthere's the integration phase,
which I would say what wouldactually be the second phase,
but a lot of times we go then,okay, make it happen. What's the
action? What's the plan? Writeit out and do it. So I invite
you, before we get into thatphase, what if integration phase
(08:24):
could be now could be January,February, into March? Right
before that spring time? Andwhat if during this integration
phase, you're actually feelingwhat that new routine felt like?
Sitting with it for a second,sit? Two minutes? Close your
eyes? How does that new routinefeel like? What kind of person
(08:51):
am I? When I dedicate myself tothat morning routine, for
example, for using morningroutine and moralizing? I'm just
rolling with us examples thatlets us know hey, I have this
newfound awareness that when Iset my mornings up for me, and
what does that mean? So again,here's another integration base.
So what does that mean? settingyourself up successfully for the
(09:13):
morning, setting yourself up?
For the most empowered morningroutine? actually taking a
moment and sitting with that?
What does that actually looklike?
What does that actually feellike? What does that actually
look like for you? Because maybeyou are inspired? Maybe you, you
know, have an a picture in yourmind. Have you had a moment to
(09:37):
really detail that out? How doyou move out of the band? What's
the first thing you experience?
How does that feel and reallyintegrated into your body? Why
is that so important? Well, weknow from a scientific
perspective, from a neuroscienceperspective, even just the
visualization addition of doinga new habit, a new routine, a
(10:01):
new, a new, you know, mindsetshift, for example, a rethinking
how you would handle asituation, even just playing
that out in your head, createsnew neural pathways, which then
create your ad, you're almostlike creating the halo effect
for you than to create thataction in your body. Right. So
(10:23):
from a scientific perspective,we know this to be true, there's
actually a study that you canlook, look up, it's, it's a
basketball study with freethrows, for example, and they
had one control group, justvisualize it, and they had the
other group actually practiceevery day. And the group that
visualize actually had a higherpercentage than the group that
(10:43):
did not visualize. So again,just the importance of
visualization, even seeingyourself in that moment, in that
place already. Which from, youknow, I will call it like a
spiritual perspective. We knowthis to be true with
manifestation. It's not that I,you know, just can sit there and
be like, I want a milliondollars, it's fine. What does
(11:03):
that feel like, energetically?
What would I be doing with thatmoney? How would I be spending
it? How would I be honoring it?
How does that feel energeticallyin my body, right? So really
taking these moments tointegrate what we actually want
to create who we want to bebecome what we want to shift. So
(11:24):
it's so important this phase,because, you know, again, from
my own experience, when I passthrough this phase, that's when
I realized that these thingsdidn't stick, they didn't, that
true transformation didn'thappen for me, because I wasn't
growing that capacity, and alsointegrating it into all parts of
(11:50):
me. And again, it's thatdifference of just, you know,
really taking your time. Andalmost like, for example, I
know, some people have heard oflike habit stacking, right,
taking your time, and justadding one new habit, and then
another new habit and thenstacking that habit on that
(12:11):
habit. So, you know, I justinvite you to slow down to take
this moment of integration,because I promise you, what
you're actually wanting tocreate, is going to happen from
a place of true transformation,holistic transformation, if you
(12:34):
do this integration phase. So Ishare all this, because I just,
I feel so passionate about this,because for me, I found that
resisting the urge to jump startto stop piling more onto my
plate when it's already full. Toslow down when everything around
(12:54):
me says to speed up. Trust me,it took practice in time. And
I'm happy to say this year wasthe most luscious, empowering
soul expansive experience,because I did that. So I want to
share some ways to integrate. Soto actually put this into
practice, and there's so manydifferent ways for integration,
(13:17):
but one that we just spoke aboutwas visualization. So there's so
many amazing apps out there,even on Spotify, some really
great meditative meditationprompts. So to actually have
somebody guide you intovisualization for me is really
(13:39):
helpful. If it isn't for you,and you rather just sit there in
silence, or put even a timer onfor two minutes, if that even
just sounds a little toorestrictive for you. Or this is
something that's new for you.
Even putting a timer on for twominutes, three minutes, and just
closing your eyes andvisualizing yourself in that
(13:59):
state would be so supportive.
And so helpful, I promise. Andsome things I just want to
invite you. When you're doingthis is you might realize, huh,
that's interesting. When Ivisualized this, I actually
didn't like, you know, I thoughtI would experience feelings of
joy and expansiveness. Andactually, that's not what I
(14:21):
really want. Or you realize itis and it feels so good. And it
feels so right. And now you'reeven more clear about how to
create that and make thathappen. So again, the invitation
here is to not rush into action.
But to actually visualize thisnew action, this new behavior,
this new being, in your mind, inyour mind's eye to journaling. I
(14:50):
think journaling is such a greatway to integrate and it's asking
yourself questions, you know, soif we I'm trying to think of
like a new Your intention couldbe I want to experience more
play. So you might journal. Whatdoes play mean to me? How does
(15:11):
play show up in my life? When Ianchor on the feeling of play?
How does that feel like, in mybody? Where do I feel it? What
(15:32):
sensations show up for me? Howcan I incorporate play in my
relationships in my career, andmy relationship to self. So as
you can see, you can have thisdialogue with yourself, which a
(15:55):
lot of times we don't we thinkwe have a dialogue in our mind.
And, you know, a lot of timesit's actually you know, some
people call it for example, theinner critic or the ego. Or this
or your saboteur is for example.
And so you're really not havinga conversation with you, with
your heart, with your soul withyour truest self. So that
journaling medium kind ofbecomes a vessel for you to
(16:17):
create that space, and to createthat relationship to really be
hearing and seeing what comesout during these moments. And
again, you might feel someresistance if this is new for
you new to journal, and youknow, some of the resistance
that I've seen in a lot ofclients of mine has been almost
the fear of seeing what whatthey actually come up with what
(16:40):
what actually transpires whatshows up for them. And that is
totally normal. And that istotally okay. So again, take
baby steps here, take microsteps. That's the other thing
that I kind of want to pausehere to any new action, any new
habit, any new way of being anynew thing that you're you're
trying to create in your life?
(17:04):
How can you break that up into amillion pieces, or 1000 pieces,
or 10 pieces, or five pieces, myinvitation is here, a lot of
times this new thing actuallyhas a lot of micro steps
underneath it. And that's why awe end up getting really
frustrated when it doesn'thappen, because then we realize,
oh, I needed to do this thing,this thing, this thing, this
(17:25):
thing, this thing, this thing toget to this thing. And again,
going back to the integrationpiece, this is a really
beautiful time to discover whatlittle pieces might need to
happen in order for that, thatexperience that intention to
fully to fully come alive, intoagain, showing you and giving
you that permission, that it'sgoing to take time and that's
(17:46):
okay. Time and practices. Okay.
And trust me coming from handsup woman over here say that I
had such a an aversion topractice. You know, I some of my
conditioning comes from, youknow, this, you know, military
background of like, get itright, get it right the first
(18:08):
time, go, go, go go. So for me,I really had to support my
tendencies of perfectionism, Ihad tendencies of high
achievement of overperformanceinto really take a take a step
back and say, a lot of these newways of me being are so
different from my current being,it's going to take time, and
(18:28):
that's okay. And it's going totake practice, in in practice is
progress. Practice is progress.
Mistakes are beautiful. Theycarry so much wisdom. This isn't
a journey of perfectionism. Thisisn't a life of perfect. This is
(18:51):
a life of enjoyment. This is alife of love. This is a life of
peace, of calm, of flow of ease.
And so just take that time,you're not behind, you're
exactly where you need to be.
Another integration tool that Ilove to use that I actually
(19:13):
learn this from this amazingwoman, I'll link her Nadia, she
runs theshe runs his amazing projectors
Instagram page, and she also hasthis amazing service design
school. And when I attended, Ireally enjoyed her part about
growing capacity. And she's thecapacity expert over here. So
(19:34):
again, like I said, I'll linkher end. But one thing I really
loved from from her toolbox ofall these amazing tools was this
affirmation practice. And someof you might be going love
affirmations give me give me andsome of you might be rolling
eyes and be like, affirmations.
(19:56):
Hear me out. So one, going backto the science behind this. So
there might be a limiting beliefyou have around the thing that
you are creating the shift thatyou're trying to create, even
what you're trying to welcomemore in your life. So for
example, I want to experiencemore joy, or I want to
(20:17):
experience more rest, theremight be a limiting belief
behind that, that again, that Iinvite you during the
integration phase, to see if itshows up. So maybe there's a
belief that when I rest, I'mlazy, right? And so how can you
take that, and actually createan affirmation, that's an a
(20:37):
more, that's an empoweringaffirmation, that helps shift
that limiting belief. So forexample, when I rest, I have
full strength and power toaccomplish all the desires and
dreams I have in my life. As anexample, you can make that
(21:00):
shorter, you can make it longeryou can make it whatever you
want. The coolest thing aboutthis is, you're going to record
this affirmation, you're goingto record it a few times, you
know, get it to about, I wouldsay about five minutes if you
can. And if you can't say itfive minutes over, you can copy
it on like an audio loop andjust have it play on repeat for
(21:22):
five minutes. So the importantthing about this is that you
play this recording, thisrecording of your affirmation
that shifting this limitingbelief that is buried in your
subconscious, because it'sanother thing that I've
experienced in coaching, andcoaching clients that have such
beautiful awareness, they willeven say they feel a resistance
(21:45):
in their body. Or they, theydon't know why they feel such a
resistance, like they want it sobad. But there's a resistance
there. So what we usuallydiscover there's a limiting
belief, and this limiting beliefis usually anchored into
something very deep. But insteadof having to go there, right and
discover that which again, Iencourage you all to do at your
own time. And different modes oftherapy are wonderful for this.
(22:08):
But for the sake of thisconversation, you know, we don't
have to go the route right now.
But what we can is we can helpthe subconscious grow capacity
and shift that limiting beliefthat is probably still anchored
in there. So if we take thisexample of you know, when I
rest, I'm lazy. And then wewrote this affirmation, and then
we said this affirmation outloud, and then we recorded
(22:31):
ourselves for five minutessaying this affirmation out
loud, take this affirmation, andplay it right before you go to
bed. And, or right when you wakeup. Why? Because your mind is in
a theta state. And when it is intheta, these are the second
(22:51):
slowest brainwaves, and they'reconnected to the subconscious
mind. And remember, yoursubconscious mind, what is it
like 90 or 95% of like, truly,where your thoughts and patterns
and everything comes from weonly use, you know, the
conscious mind is what like onlylike 5% or something crazy like
(23:13):
that. Sorry, I don't have thesign in front of me. But all
that to say, conscious reallyisn't taking up that much
capacity. It's your subconsciousin So to that point, how are
again, how are we integratingall parts of our being mind,
body, and spirit. And this is aperfect one for the mind because
it needs a little support andneeds a little help with the
(23:35):
subconscious. So when you are inthis theta state, so right, when
you're dropping into sleep, soif that's what you're playing
at, right when you go to sleep,or right when you're waking up,
it is connecting to thatsubconscious state. So it's
helping again, from a scientificperspective, rewiring, shifting
that mindset. And that's anotherway to integrate. And last but
(23:57):
not least, and again, I saidthere's so many different ways
to integrate. But last of myfavorites is something truly
visual. So like a collage. Youknow, some people call this like
their, you know, their moodboard or their manifestation
board. But it's just somethingvisual. You can see I'm a very
(24:18):
visual person, so sometimeshelps me see things that I'm
wanting to experience and I'mwanting to create an anchor on
that visually. So what does thatactually look like? So this can
look like a fun project. I mean,cutting things touching things
like using your hands, whichagain, from a neuroscience
(24:41):
perspective, from a scientificperspective is really great for
you to use your hands and kindof create things, again,
integrates, or if you're more ofa digital person through some
great Canva links. I'll see if Ican drop one in here. I have
doing virtual collage boards IIalso Pinterest, y'all doing a
(25:04):
Pinterest board keeping itprivate, and pinning inspiration
on, you know, that new thingthat you're wanting to
experience? Or integrate orshift? Again? How do you feel?
What does that look like? How doyou carry yourself? Does this
person, you know, wear differentkinds of clothes. So we can just
(25:25):
be open, be curious to see whatelse shows up, as you're
visually bringing thisexperience forth. So you can
actually see it in 3d. And byseeing it in 3d, every day, you
can save it I've have had agirlfriend would screenshot it
(25:47):
and put it as her background forher phone. So she would see that
mood board every single day. Andso again, that that daily action
of seeing that thing, so notonly will let me take a step
back, not only creating thatthing, right, it's going to be
so powerful for you, becauseagain, you're gonna get so many
(26:09):
insights and learnings fromthat. Checking in Ooh, is that
in alignment? Is that not inalignment? Do I actually really
want this? Oh, that feels good.
Oh, I didn't realize that's whatI want it like, you're gonna get
all this beautiful insight. Andthen once you create this thing,
then you're imprinting it everysingle day, in your mind, in
(26:29):
your subconscious in your body,in your spirit, all of it,
you're just seeing it every day.
Which by the way, if you look atit in the opposite, right,
seeing something that's not inalignment with you, or seeing
something that, you know, putsyou in a good or a bad mood, or
doesn't make you feel good everysingle day, we end up attracting
those things, or they end upstaying in our lives. So the
invitation here is to surroundyourself visually with things
(26:52):
that are going to empower youfor this new shift. All right,
y'all wanted to keep this oneshort and sweet. I hope i i hope
i accomplish that. But mybiggest thing and my biggest
takeaway for you all and why Iwanted to record the specific
(27:12):
episode was there are no bar badparts. There are no bad habits,
you're not doing anything wrong.
And all you're doing is movingtowards a more empowering place.
And that might look like moreempowering habits that might
(27:34):
look like more empowering. Amore empowering job. That might
look like a more empoweringrelationship. That might look
like a more empoweringrelationship with yourself. And
that's all we're moving towards.
And to take that moment tointegrate that, to feel it, to
experience it. And then just totake daily small action towards
(27:57):
it. But don't feel like you haveto rewrite your life right now.
Don't feel like you're alreadybehind. Don't feel like you're
really screwed up your NewYear's resolution. By the way,
what is time anyways? Seriously,though, take your time, slow
down. You're even energeticallyin the season to slow down and
(28:19):
to integrate. So take that. Takeit with you into this new year.
This year of beautiful, lusciousintegration, because you'll
always be on the journey. Andmay Your journey be one of ease
of love, of abundance of healthand so much good fortune.
(28:43):
Sending you so many blessings.
Goodbye for now.
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