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January 24, 2024 80 mins

Lovers, we've got a special episode for you today. We are celebrating the podcast's first year anniversary today and we are so grateful for everyone that has been a part of this year long journey - especially our listeners!

Hold on tight as we dive into the depths of intimacy, love, and relationships. We spill the beans on our most popular episodes, including the surprisingly high demand for all things "Anal". But that's not all, we dive into creating deep connections, patience, acknowledging desires, just to name a few.

In this episode we also riff of on:

  • Jacob and Meg express gratitude to listeners for connecting with them through their podcast and sharing their experiences
  • Podcast creation, healing, and personal growth
  • Intimacy, pleasure, and spirituality in sexual practice
  • Honoring boundaries and deepening intimacy in heterosexual relationships
  • Gender roles, decision-making, and trust in relationships
  • Desires and BDSM exploration in a relationship
  • Looking back on Pussy Licking and Blowjob techniques that your lover will enjoy

and many, many more.

If you loved this episode & the podcast, make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss anything.

AND… it would mean the world to us if you rated & reviewed the show.
We carefully read each and every review, and we love hearing about your experience with the podcast!

⚡️Let’s Stay Connected:  

IG: @the.meg.o @thejacoboneill @sexloveeverythinginbetween

⚡ Want more? Here are some of the offerings & courses you can join us in…

The Desire Date: A sexy date night experience for couples ready to re-ignite passion & deepen intimacy. --->

Ignite Your Intimacy: A 4 week course for couples ready for a sexier, wilder, more ALIVE relationship… NOW! --->

Intimacy Immersion: An in-person one-day immersion on the Gold Coast for couples desiring to ignite their intimacy & deepen in love. -->

⚡Join us for our Podcast Live Event!
Register here: -->
Saturday 2nd March @ 5pm - 9pm |Mylky Space, Gold Coast 

Jacob & Meg also coach individuals & couples. Reach out to them via Instagram for more information.

⚡ Listen to the Episodes mentioned here: 

Mark as Played

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Meg O'Neill (00:04):
Hey beautiful humans. Welcome to sex, love and
everything in between.

Jacob O'Neill (00:12):
You're here with Jacob and my wife, Meg. And this

Meg O'Neill (00:16):
is the place where we have all the very, very real
role and extremely unfilteredconversations about sex, love
and everything in between.

Jacob O'Neill (00:29):
It's here you get a behind the scenes look into
our relationship. And we willnot be holding back well, we
might not

Meg O'Neill (00:36):
know. You don't know how to do that. Not at all.
So beautiful ones. Thank you forbeing here. Enjoy this episode.
Hi, love.

Jacob O'Neill (00:50):
Yo, yo, lovers.

Meg O'Neill (00:51):
Welcome back to another week here at sex love
and everything in between. Andthis is a very fucking special

Jacob O'Neill (00:59):
So is

Meg O'Neill (01:01):
we are celebrating our first birthday. Here are the

Jacob O'Neill (01:05):
We are one years old.

Meg O'Neill (01:06):
We are one years old sex and everything in
between is one year old.

Jacob O'Neill (01:11):
I've been doing this for whole fucking
Yeah, what do you reckon Djangowe just freaked out I dog

Meg O'Neill (01:27):
chill out. And we're gonna spend this entire
podcast, recapping, celebrating,sharing our favorite moments.
And beyond that your fuckingfavorite moments from the last
year here on the pod. We're veryexcited about it.

Jacob O'Neill (01:43):
There's some common things that we're going
to see in this trend as well.
Can you guess

Meg O'Neill (01:47):
we're not going to tell you just yet. But can you
guess what the number one toprated theme on the podcast was

Jacob O'Neill (01:54):
for the last year guys are freaks and we love it.

Meg O'Neill (01:57):
I think the top five episodes were all these
topic around this topic. Yeah,which we'll find out in a
moment's time. I want to startby just thanking, like you guys
like you listening right now.
makes me emotional. I'm just sograteful. Like we have the best

fucking listeners on the planet.
And we wouldn't be here, let'sbe honest, we wouldn't be here a
year on, if we didn't feel yoursupport. And if we didn't feel
how deeply you were loving thispodcast and finding such value

and humor and just epicness in,in our conversations every week.
And that's definitely and I'dlove to hear from you, my man.
But that's definitely somethingI love my validation. You know,
just like feeling the response,like literally every fucking
week, we get DMS from you guys.
And they mean the world to us.

Yeah, like letting us know thatyou're literally listening to
the podcast, and you pulled overyour car to send us a message
because you're 15 minutes in andit's landing so deeply. Or that,
you know, this particularepisode of navigating conflict
is has shifted the way you andyour partner relating and
showing up in those moments oftension. And it's completely
transformed your relationship.
And I'm just so grateful becauseI know I can be guilty of this.

I listen to podcasts, I followother people's work. And
sometimes I just like silentlyconsume. And so if you're a
silent consumer, we still loveyou.

Jacob O'Neill (03:37):
But not as much.

Meg O'Neill (03:41):
Yeah. But I just want to celebrate, like the
fucking effort it does take tolisten to something to consume
something, and then to actuallyreach out to that creator. Like
I'm just so fucking grateful toeach of you that have done that
over the last year or that we'lldo that in the coming years.
Because it means a fuck ton.
Like it truly does. And I'm sureif you're a creator as well,

you, you understand that likereceiving and it can, it can be
interesting sometimes sittinghere now home pressing record
and then just like sending itout into the internet. It's so
beautiful to feel you guys, andto hear how each episode has
landed for you. So I just wantto start that by saying like,

infinite amounts of gratitudefor you all for just listening
and receiving so much and alsojust like yeah, continuing to
build a relationship with usthrough this work. And like even
sorry, one more thing, even likeI've had many people come up to
me in in the in the street orlike in a shop in a shop or in a
cafe to be like Hey, I listenedto the podcast, and I fucking

love that. So I can't pleasecontinue to do that in public.

Jacob O'Neill (04:54):
So we love connection is what we're saying.
Yeah, we really do connectconnection. Yeah. I really feel
this is I'm just putting alittle mental note here for us
in this podcast, and you guysare going to receive it as well
as like we do need to do anepisode on sexual polarity. I
really feel that just after theretreat that I went on this
weekend, and also just hearingyou speak about how that means

so much to you like thatfeminine yearning for like
feeling that engagement and thatconnection with with the
audience and the guys that areListen, for me that isn't as
strong. But I do value it. And Ido see that as such a feminine
LED. Desire and I haven't met inthis way. I think what I want to
sort of just zone in on is likewe started this because it felt
good. Totally we started thisnot because we thought people

would react to it. We didn'tstart because we thought people
give us validation. We startedthis podcast because it felt
right. And like we said at thebeginning, in the early
episodes, like we were in ourcar having these conversations,
we're like, Fuck, how good wouldit be to share what we're saying
with the world like this feelslike what we want to be talking
about online. This is what wewant our brands, and our brand

sex love and everything inbetween what it's become to
stand for. And the fact that ithas been so well received is the
icing on the cake for mecompletely.

Meg O'Neill (06:11):
And yeah, I remember so many times we'd be
in the car together, having aconversation about sex, or
having a conversation aboutrelationships, and literally
looking at each other and beinglike, fuck we could have
recorded we should have recordedthat, like I deeply want people
to be a part of thisconversation. And I know that's
why you all as listeners feelyou do you feel a part of our

life and this conversation.
Right. And that was always theintention. It was like, we
wanted you to feel as if you'rein the motherfucking room with
us. And I'm really grateful thatwe chose to really put this work
out into the world in this way.
Like we are so raw here. We areso real. There's not much we we

don't say. And we really, yeah,we're very fucking unfiltered
and raw and uncensored. And Iknow that's why you guys
received so deeply from thiswork and it lands so deeply. And
you're able to take it out intoyour relationships, because we
bring it in that way. So thanksfor receiving it.

Jacob O'Neill (07:16):
Totally. And I think in a world right now,
where there's more and moreshort form content is more and
more AI generated informationwhere it's all like, it's really
great to have stuff that likeintellectually makes sense. But
to actually feel someone's heartlike I feel every week we show
up our hearts are the firstthing to to go up on this on
this podcast like okay, whatdoes our heart want to want to

share with everyone and theconcepts are great the skills
and techniques and tools andteachings that we offer amongst
that are great, but for me, thisis what makes us us. And what I
feel is the most important thingfor anyone that's connecting
with us is our relatability andI'm just so grateful that we're
able to be authentic. And notonly that, but we're being
received in our authenticity isonly creating more and more

connections for me and havingmen reach out be like man like
that. Only just recently, he'slike, Man, I forgot how I how
much I need to know there'sother men who have gone through
these things. Like sometimes Ifeel I'm so alone. And you know,
sometimes people don't have theability to get to a men's group
or they don't have the funds togo and do all the coaching or

it's not a priority in theirlife right now. But if you can,
like hear a story that likelands and you can take a little
bit from what we've done overthe last year, I'm just so
grateful that you know, you getto be the man that you need to
be for yourself and your yourfamily or your friends, your
community. You know, this isalways I love the relationship
that we have with you guys, butI'm also really, really

interested in the relationshipthat you have with the people
that you're here to be ofservice to. So thank you, thank
you, thank you. Thank you. Thankyou. Thank you. Thank you from
the bottom of our hearts.

Meg O'Neill (08:56):
Thank you Thank you Oh, and before we go any further
we have a little request ifyou'd love this podcast which
I'm sure you fucking do ifyou're listening right now
especially to this episode weask that you pause this episode
right now pause up pull over inyour car or still cooking or
whatever you do when yourtoilets checking people take a

shit and listen to us I want toknow I'm not a phone I would I
never take my phone to thetoilet I'm

Jacob O'Neill (09:26):
a phone in the toilet I'm

Meg O'Neill (09:28):
not I am but I'm I'm

Jacob O'Neill (09:31):
I put quick your your slides out to me you
seriously I was gonna call you agunslinger but you are you are
the quick you're the fastestwoman in the West. When it comes
to taking a shit or poop as youcall it.

Meg O'Neill (09:45):
Or she is too aggressive. Like I need to go
poop Yeah, it

Jacob O'Neill (09:49):
is very cute.
Very cute but

Meg O'Neill (09:52):
because I go to the toilet when I'm ready to go.

Jacob O'Neill (09:54):
Yeah, you I'm ready.

Meg O'Neill (09:55):
I'm on the lightning

Jacob O'Neill (09:58):
rod the lightning Okay, anyway, back to our
request yet one last thing I'llsay is, I don't know about any
men, but I feel like men arequite quite common to do the
phone on the toilet thing. Thereis nothing more. Exposing when
you're in a public toilet. Youopen your open Instagram or
something, it goes straight to aloud, real and all of a sudden
just blasts the entire oh mygod, people know I'm on my phone

in here.

Meg O'Neill (10:22):
Oh, are you embarrassed to be on your phone
and a public toilet? Yeah,definitely. Oh, because people
know you're

Jacob O'Neill (10:27):
sitting there taking a shit. And they're like,
Well, why doesn't he Hurry up?
Like there's all the cubiclesare taken? Good for me. It's
just a bit of personal time.
That's what I love it. I

Meg O'Neill (10:36):
see that I I've asked men this question before.
And I think and I've heard I'veheard women speak to this a lot
with their partners. It's likemen go there to have a break

Jacob O'Neill (10:51):
Toilet, it's just a sacred time.

Meg O'Neill (10:53):
Yeah, it's just as quickly as possible so I can
come back to you. Yes.

Jacob O'Neill (10:58):
We do need to do this episode on sexual polarity
around the masculine coredesire, freedom and the feminine
core desire of connection. So wewill deepen into that.

Meg O'Neill (11:06):
Okay, but anyway, back to our request. We ask that
you pause this episode in amoment, and head over to Apple
podcasts. So go to the Applepodcast app, type in sex, love
and everything in between. Andleave us a five star review and
write some beautiful fuckingthings, your favorite things
about listening to us here? It'sso clever and everything in
between? Yes, please. This isthe number one way you can

support us here at the podcastlike the number one way it is
our biggest vision here doingthis work that this podcast
these conversations ripple outto more couples, more humans
that really deeply value,intimacy love, deep epic sex,
incredible relationships. And sothis is the number one way you

can support us if you're likereally behind our fucking
mission, go and leave a fivestar review. So go and pause,
pull over go and do it now. We'dbe really fucking grateful. And
if you want to screenshot yourreview, you can then screenshot
and send it to my team. Theemail address is support at mag

dash O'Neill dot com. So that'sa double L with O'Neill, support
at mag dash O'Neill dot com,send me a screenshot and my team
will send you one of my masterclasses for free. You get to
choose that thank you.

Jacob O'Neill (12:26):
We love you guys.
Thank you. Thank you. Okay,

Meg O'Neill (12:29):
before we get into recapping. Okay, and I just want
to ask you what's been yourfavorite moment or favorite
thing about creating the podcastover the last year?

Jacob O'Neill (12:40):
I've loved the you the podcasts? I've loved the
ones that we've had no planningfor? Yeah, yeah. Not at all. And
I've loved the moments. I thinkthose early on, there was a
couple we were on the browncouch before that these
beautiful chairs. And there's acouple where you were just like,
an emotional mess. There was acouple years they really opened
up and, and let loose. And I'veloved realizing just how much

we've learned through our ownlife experience. And like, I'm
just really proud of who we'vebecome like, I felt like there's
been a real maturity to our, ourwork this last year. Like yeah,
there's like, every week we'rein this room showing up doing
this, this podcast has been areal, you know, we speak about
devotion a lot. And I felt likewe've shown devotion to our

shared vision. And in the past,we've really struggled to meet
each other in that shared visionof creation. So, in regards to
work, I feel that like showingup every week has given us this
way of devoting ourselves tosomething greater in service to
humanity. So it's felt it's justfelt beautiful. But um, yeah,

realistically, like one of myfavorite podcasts was just last
week when we filmed the onearound there plant medicine and
family healing. That was a realfull circle moment for me. Yeah.
Oh, and now you want me to askyou would you want me to ask you

my love? What was your favoritemoment from the last year what
has been one of those standoutmoments from the podcast
recording and sharing it online?
And what has been that for you?

Meg O'Neill (14:20):
I I totally agree.
The the times where we just comeinto the podcast studio, we
don't really have a plan. Maybewe have a big emotional release
before we hit record. Oh, we tryand record and then we're trying
it's just like a bit clunky. Andthen we use you know, I might
have a cry. We might have a bigconversation and then we hit
record again. And it's justlike, yeah, it just just comes
through and it's just what'salive for us and I have loved my

favorite episodes to record andthen to share have been the ones
where it's like about ourhealing with family or gallery
about just like some of thechallenging times we've had or
yeah, when we when we've beenjust like wailing or crying? On
the episode I remember one ofthe episodes where I spoke about

and I don't know what numberEpisode This was, but when we
were speaking about your men'swork and how I had this like big
healing with the masculine thefirst time you ran your men
circle, and it was just wailingand crying, thinking about that
and expressing that, that memoryand that story. Yeah, and I
just, again, my favorite part islike hearing, hearing from from

you guys, the listeners and getI adore being in this room with
you. But I also love hearingwhat the conversation that we
have in this room does for thehumans outside of this room,
that that is just incrediblymeaningful to me.

Jacob O'Neill (15:42):
Yeah, if like, the personal ones feel like
you're the ones where we've hadour healing. In other podcasts,
we're the ones that I feel likeI'm proud of is the ones when we
get a message and people like,I've actually know how to
communicate my desires, or Iknow how to like actually have,
you know, actually lean intoconflict and communicate better
with my partner. I'm actually myrelationship is better off

because of you guys. And it'slike, well, yeah, we we love
being in service to love. Andthat to me, you know, some of
those some of the comments andmessages that I've gotten around
people have just like been ableto shift just from listening. It
feels like fuck, like, what abeautiful, what a beautiful.
What a beautiful life that weget to have like, how great how

lucky are we how lucky away, itgets to be this good.

Meg O'Neill (16:32):
And for those of you that are on the Gold Coast
or can get to the Gold Coast. Ifyou haven't already heard we're
doing a live podcast event onthe second of March. So you can
come and be in this incrediblespace with us, not this space
that we're recording in rightnow. It's this epic fucking
space here on the Gold Coastcalled milky space. And we're

having it's like a live podcastevent slash party. It's gonna be
live music, a food truck, epicnon alcoholic drinks, we're
gonna have some really sexy doorprizes. You're gonna get to be
in the room with us as we recorda podcast live and then there's
also going to be a chance tohave your questions answered.
And we're going to do live q&aand coaching. So that's almost

like celebrating the end ofseason one coming into Season
Two as well. So we would love tofucking see you there tickets
probably in the show notes onthe show notes or just head to
either of our Instagrams and,

Jacob O'Neill (17:24):
and hook yourself up. Yes, yes, yes.

Meg O'Neill (17:27):
Okay. Now let's get into recap mode.

Jacob O'Neill (17:29):
Okay, recap mode, the podcast starts now.

Meg O'Neill (17:32):
Okay, the rest of the episode, we're going to be
sharing snippets of yourfavorite episodes from the last
year. So based on downloads andwhat what episodes you guys love
the most? It's no fuckingsurprise that the top five
episodes all had the name, Angelin them. Seriously? Seriously,

literally, we've

Jacob O'Neill (17:57):
talked about family healing. You've talked
about our deep, darkest shadowswe've taught we've let you in
and all you guys want to listento is fingers in the butt.
That's all you're actually

Meg O'Neill (18:08):
I lied. That was way too over exaggerated. Okay,
no, the top episode was fromgood sex to mind blowing sex.
Second episode was q&a. Howoften do you have sex plus anal
101 tups. Number three episodewas q&a, the art of anal sex
design, long term relationshipsand more. And the next one was
the art of loving man, the artof loving a woman so you guys

hardly ever exaggerated but outof the top five, two of them.
Were about I know. You

Jacob O'Neill (18:36):
guys have a healthy relationship. Yeah. With
our podcast. Thank you. Thankyou. Thank you. Thank you. Oh,

Meg O'Neill (18:41):
Motherfuckers. And we love it.

Jacob O'Neill (18:45):
Well Rounded there was only two, not five
we've we're not shaming anyone.

Meg O'Neill (18:51):
But I love that we do we do talk about I know
that's been one of ourexperiments. How many times can
we? How many episodes can wetalk about annually? I think
it's probably 80% of episodes.
You're saying yeah, they don'tfeel about deep family healing.
So first up, first episode we'regonna recap is which one? Is it?

The autumn Angel, it was a q&awe did around the bottom angels.
And we also spoke about desireand long term relationships and
some other things. But this isthe first time that you're gonna
listen to anything you want toadd before before they get to
listen to this snippet about theart of anal sex.

Jacob O'Neill (19:34):
I just think it's, it's, it's fun to be able
to have these conversations andlike, and for it to just be
normal. Normalizing this stuffis what makes all of which I
feel like it takes shame out ofthe out of the equation and and
allows you to have a more open,honest, loving relationship.
It's like yeah, it's aboutannual but it's more about like
how open and and vulnerable canI be? Yeah.

Meg O'Neill (19:57):
And so this episode is episode In three, if you want
to go back and listen to thedays, yes, we were talking about
anal right from the beginning.
So this is episode three, if youwant to go listen to the whole
episode, again, we have we deepdive into the How to behind
anal, why we love anal. All thethings and then there's a lot of
other questions we answered inthat episode. But here's a

little snippet for you to enjoy.
You are the first partner I'veever explored this with. And we
only started exploring thismaybe three and a half years
ago, maybe four? Yeah, yeah.
Remember, it was in Guatemala.
And we didn't have a lot oflube. And that was. Anyway, um,

where was I? Oh, so I alwaysused to think it was just
something and this is like,conventional kind of idea of
looking at sex, but definitelyanal sex. It was just like, Oh,
it's just what a man wants fromme. It's like a tight a hole for
a man and just he'll receivepleasure. So that's something I
if I was to do it kind

Jacob O'Neill (21:00):
of thing. Yeah, it got better. Yeah, I he wants
this. So I better give it tohim. Kind of. Yeah,

Meg O'Neill (21:05):
yeah. And if I was to do it, it would be for him
and there wouldn't be pleasureinvolved. And oh, my god for in
my personal experience, and formany of the women I know many
women close to me. This is like,Yes, such a beautiful sacred
part of sex and like a practiceof sex and and a portal within
ourselves that can really, yeah,really deeply invite us back

into our bodies. Do you want toadd anything?

Jacob O'Neill (21:36):
I just yet coming back to it's like a practice in
patience and acknowledging theprocess of opening and
surrendering. And like you said,it's quite often when you're
feeling that, that that desirefor being for surrendering and
to being open and having yourheart cracked, open and feeling
that sense of liberation. Yeah.
It's a really powerful, as muchas like, I love it. And I think

it's awesome. And it's a greatexperience for me as well, to be
in that with you. But more soyeah, seeing the energetics
beneath it of what we bothexperience through it is really
powerful. Yeah.

Meg O'Neill (22:18):
And yeah, it takes such a deep well, in the way
that we like to move towardsthat it's not something that can
just happen, it has its, andthis is why like opening your
body in order to receive a cockin your butt like that, that
takes a lot of safety. And ittakes a lot of surrendering and
opening. So that's a process andit's that process that is such a

beautiful journey. It's likethis such medicine in that
process. And that's why I lovethat the feeling and the orgasms
I have with that kind of sex,but also it's it's the journey
and the medicine that arisesalong the journey to get to that
stage of being able to inviteyou into me,

Jacob O'Neill (22:59):
I know it's Yeah, so for me, it's all about
attunement. It's about knowingwhen I might be wanting it more
than the actual moment is askingfor it. And be like cool,
alright, that's my, I'm forcingmy desire onto this experience
and then letting that go andthen just naturally allowing it
to arise and for us to bothchoose that when it is when it
is actually there and meet it soyeah, I feel like there's like a

whole feeling that we have to dolike a whole podcast around like
the concept of like, buyingstuff, but stuff and meeting it
with with that level ofreverence and seeing it as a
sacred practice.

Meg O'Neill (23:38):
Okay, beautiful people. The next episode, this
is actually your favoritefucking episode from the last
year. It's called from good sexto mind blowing sex, and the
snippet you're about to hear.
This wasn't the only episode Ispoke about this, you've most
likely heard me say this againand again and again and again
and again and again and again.
But as his pace around, youcannot penetrate her pussy

before you penetrate her heart.
Or the doorway to a woman'sPussy is her heart. Right this
is the number one practice forwomen. If you haven't received
this yet from listening for thelast year, please begin to
practice this. Do not letanything penetrate your policy
before your heart is open.
Before you are ready. So let'shave a listen to this snippet of


Jacob O'Neill (24:22):
such an important such an important episode such
an important episode because somany people out there are having
good sex and they're playinginto that good enough when there
is this mind blowing possibilityfor sex. So when we honor this
piece, and we honor this piece,go have a listen.

Meg O'Neill (24:40):
This is the greatest gift you can offer
yourself and your partner. Whenyou truly become a woman that
holds the standard of my pussywill not be penetrated until my
heart is penetrated. Right tobecome a woman that holds that
fucking standard for herself.
That will not have only changethe way you fuck and the way you

make love and the way youexperience pleasure and orgasm
that will change yourmotherfucking life. Oh, truly to
become a woman that holds thatstandard that will ripple out
into life

Jacob O'Neill (25:24):
continue continue on listening, I'm receiving it

Meg O'Neill (25:27):
So let will let that be for the women listening.
If you're not already in thisdevotional practice, may this
become your new new devotion toyourself that your heart must be
cracked open. And that meansoften stopping sex when it's
about to lead to sex right down.
How often does this happen forus where I'm like, This doesn't

happen, like every time we havesex, but sometimes it's like,
well, I'm not. I'm not feelingopen. I'm not feeling ready.
There's part of my body thatfeels normal, there's part of me
that just isn't my heart doesn'tfeel fully open, there's more to
feel here or this. The truth isnot to be penetrated right now.
And it's about honoring that,that can be uncomfortable.

Sometimes that means honoringyour know, like, there's so much
in this. That makes it a verypowerful, transformative
practice for a woman because we,as women have been conditioned
not to say no, we've beenconditioned to please we've been
conditioned to choose otherpeople's desires and needs and
things above our own. And it'sso easy sometimes to be like,

oh, like, Yeah, this isconsensual, and this is my
partner and he's ready and hewants to fuck me. Okay, like he
can he can put his cock insideof me. But where is this then
showing up in your life? Whereare you going? Oh, that's okay.
Oh, that's okay. That's okay.
This becomes such a deep fuckingpractice in holding your

standards and holding yourboundaries and honoring your
know, and really worshiping andreviewing your own motherfucking

Jacob O'Neill (27:06):
Mm hmm. And that was incredible. And from from
from a man's perspective, youhave a duty to hold awareness of
when a woman may be abandoningthat standard.

Unknown (27:22):
Yes, yes. Yes. Tell us more.

Jacob O'Neill (27:26):
So I know when you can feel you wanting deep
heart open sex. And you're notactually opening your heart. And
you're like, Yep, go down. Well,yep, do this. Do this tip. I
just want it and I can feel yourbody closing like almost pushing
me away. But your, your, yourmind telling you? No, I want

this. I want this, I want this.
And I have to be willing to say,hey, we're not having sex right
now. Because something elsewants to be something needs to
be liberated here before I enteryou all, just got full chills.
Already lovers, these next twoepisodes, they go hand in hand,
and they really help arelationship make sense. So

often we can expect our partnerto want the same things we want
or do the same things we do. Andwe wanted to debunk that we
wanted to give you guys a deeperunderstanding of how to love a
man and how to love a woman. And

Meg O'Neill (28:25):
it makes sense that these were some of your favorite
episodes from this last yearbecause and I think we got some
of the biggest lot of feedbackfrom these episodes as well. So
many people listening and beinglike, Fuck, I feel so
undestroyed oh my gosh, I feelso understood. Or oh my god, I
fucking understand my man awhole lot better, or I'm seeing

why he doesn't step up for me orwhy he doesn't why the way I'm
currently communicating with himwould feel really shitty,
because I'm treating him in thewidth of Alison Armstrong like a
hairy woman. So these these arejust like full of so much
practical wisdom that you canreally implement in your
relationship. And

Jacob O'Neill (29:04):
it's what I really loved about these
episodes was it was celebratingour differences. Yeah, it's
allowing the differences to beactual awesome things rather
than being this like a well Ineed him to be like this or I
need her to be like this is likeI get to love you for your
uniqueness for what makes you aman and what makes you a woman
so the art of loving a womanepisode 17 Yeah, and the art of

loving a man episode 18 We'regoing to drop some snippets on
you right now and yeah, if youhaven't already go back and take
a listen to these because theseare these are game changers for
anyone in a heterosexualrelationship that wants to
deepen and love their partnerbetter completely.

Meg O'Neill (29:40):
It is so fucking healing when you don't
immediately like make her feellike she's wrong for bringing
that or make her feel too much.
It is so fucking healing for awoman to feel like Oh, wow. Like
I'm I'm embracing the craziestparts of me. I'm bringing the
parts of me that I've like beenshamed for and you're still
here? You're still here? Yeah.

You have become really fuckingimpeccable at loving me in this
way in the last eight years.
What's your experience been ofthat? Oh, do you want to do you
want to speak a little more tothat?

Jacob O'Neill (30:20):
I think I've said this, maybe not on a podcast.
But on other platforms. Thepiece for me is like, her
emotional process is going toask you to stay just a little
bit longer than you want to bejust a little bit more than
you're ready for, it's going tobe just outside of what you
think you're capable of holding.
And it's going to call you intoa depth of devotion, a depth of

offering your gifts, your giftof of obeying the witness,
without judgment, without agendawithout a protocol, without a
formula. And this is yeah,that's, that's, that's been, I
guess, the part of me thataccepted this as as as my gift
to you, I give this to you. Andthe second piece of that the

second piece of that is thatthis never ends. You're never
good. It's never going to end.
You don't just hold space onceyou have Oh, yep, she felt rage.
Oh, yep, she felt her anger. Andthat's it. Now she's going to be
back to the cute little goodgirl and but he does everything
that I don't ever get triggeredby or doesn't ever make me feel

uncomfortable. The truth is thatthis never ends. This, this this
this offering of your, your,your presence is offering of
your, your, your witnessing, itnever ends. And that in itself
is is is awesome. Because youget to literally be a space for
for creation to move through theperson that you love the most

you get to love the parts ofthem that they're still learning
to love. And for me, this isthis wasn't always what I was, I
would I would default to wantingto fix Yeah, I was such a What's
the caught the eye was the fixeror the all foreigner I would
like like, oh, how can I how canI? How can I return you to

center? How can I you know, getthis pot to stop simmering? How
do I how do I get it back toback to stasis? And I was so so
scared of what I took so muchresponsibility for your
emotions, which is so differentto holding space for them. And
because I felt responsible forthem, if they started operating

where it felt uncomfortable forme, then I was like, oh, no, I
can't hold this. I'm going totry and fit you back into the
box. But over time, yeah, Ilearned to hold space, I learned
to be the witness I learned toobserve and attune and press my
feeling into the space to seehow you were doing and
developed, like some vocabularyand some some some prompts that

would allow me to gauge whereyou're at. And make sure that
yeah, there's ways that I canground you and earth to make
sure that I'm sitting in a waythat allows me to stay open. And
at the end of the day. I don'tfucking leave until it's done.
Yeah. Even if it's fucking 1amAt night, even if I'm late for a

fucking meeting, even if it'seven like I prioritize this
because I know how important itis to us. Yeah, I know how
important it is to you. And Iknow that there's a lot of times
where you grew up and you didn'tfeel fucking understood. There's
a lot of times where you weren'theld and you didn't get the
chance to express your emotions.
And I'm like, Well, I'm gonnafucking help you change that
paradigm because I love you. Andif I love you, then I'm going to
want what's best for you. Andthis becomes when you understand

this man, like you start to seethat our her emotional process
is offering me the opportunityto give my greatest gift, which
is the devotional presence thatis an unmovable Yeah, that no
matter what she does, how sheacts or what occurs I'm going to
stay and we say that with youknow, with the awareness that

like if you're being emotionallyabused in a relationship you
know, you have rights to stepyou know, step away or put it
boundaries and nuancedconversation or conversation but
if you know that you're bothpracticing in this art of
devotion, then yeah, like youstay. And if you know there's
more you ask a lover I can feelthere's more. Am I right in

saying that? And I

Meg O'Neill (34:25):
think the software to kind of like, make it very
practical for a man who's maybefirst starting to practice this.
It's like, okay, I want to holdmy woman more I want to honor
her emotions more. I think oneof the biggest things is
listening to her body more thanher words sometimes. So this
might be you you can feel andyou can you can feel when a

woman is closed when your womanis holding some kind of
resentment or something's goingon for her. And if you're just
to say, Hey, babe, what's wrong?
And she goes nothing. Man Thenwho is not yet initiated into
holding a woman will say, Cool,that's really concerning
awesome, I maybe thought therewas something up but awesome, I
get to just go back to scrollingmy phone, or I just get to go

back to watching the football orjust get to go back and do
whatever I wanted to do. Where aman that has been initiated into
his capacity to hold or ispracticing this, he will feel
what's beneath that. He willfeel that that isn't true, he
will feel her yearning in thatmoment, for him to offer his

presence deeply. Right, becauseas women, when we say, oh,
there's nothing wrong, and thisis a practice us women can get
better at is actually revealingand bringing out truth in those
moments. But we want you we wantyou to really, to really show up
in those moments for us. So inbeing able to meet our man with

like such a deep level ofcompassion, such a deep level of
empathy in a way, which supportsus to then be patient to
understand that, wow, it's notas if he's purposely withholding
his emotions from us. What if wewere to see in moments where our

partner was struggling toexpress a struggling to bring
his emotions? What if we couldtruly feel and see that, wow,
there is a part of himunderneath that really wants to
do this, that really wants toexpress that really wants to
bring this, but there is so muchcultural conditioning, and
there's so much wounding aroundwhat that would mean. And so can
we be patient with him as hedoes that? Can we not try and

rush him through? And like,traumatize him into expressing
himself? Can we really bepatient? Can we really be
patient? And again, know thatour man does not have the same
experience of expressing andbeing with his emotions as we do
as women?

Jacob O'Neill (36:59):
That's it. Yeah.

Meg O'Neill (37:01):
there any like one liners or like, I kind of want
to make this episode so fuckingpractical for the women? Is
there anything in a time where,and maybe you can look back? And
like times early in ourrelationship, or where you felt
uncomfortable in expression?
Maybe there were moments I triedto rush you or did rush you or
moments where I really nailedthat? Is there something that

like some real practical piecesthat women can bring in those
moments where they're like, Ijust want to feel my partner and
I want him to share what's goingon, or I can see that he's
stressed, I can see that he'smoving through something, but I,
I don't know how to like, Yeah,feel him right now or support

Jacob O'Neill (37:38):
The key things in those moments where you feel
like your partner has somethingto share, but they're
withholding especially like forme, what really opens me
personally, and what I've seenwith a lot of man is
nourishment. It's not aboutdrawing it out of him being
like, tell me what's wrong. Ican I can hold you in this. I
can take this from you. I couldtell me everything. It's like,

what if you just like literallycame up and like touch the point
on his body that you could seewas holding tension. What if he
came up just like placed yourhands on his shoulders, and just
like, brought your chest upagainst his back and just
brought a hand down to his heartand just held it there for a
moment. And yeah, he's going totense for a minute, I'm feeling

myself tensing against my ownlove. And he's going to tense,
and he's going to feel hisbreath constrict. And then he's
going to soften. And then you'regoing to bring an awareness to
the tension in his body, withoutyou needing him to give it to
you, without you needing offeeling at a level of

Meg O'Neill (38:41):
Love that. And I think as women, we move emotion
through expression. Yes. And sooften in the times where we're
feeling stressed, what we craveis for our man to go What's up,
and for him to stay enough. Sothen we go, oh, my gosh, this,

this. We just want to expressand have a space, a safe
container to like really let itout and be an expression. And
again, this is like a key piecethat we need to understand about
our men is that often times,that's not what they need in
these moments. Would you agreewhen I say that?

Jacob O'Neill (39:22):
Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yes.

Meg O'Neill (39:27):
One of the biggest questions you asked when we did
question boxes this year, orasked for your questions or
topics for the podcast wasaround, hey, my partner and I
have very different sex drives.
He wants a lot of sex or shewants a lot of sex, and I'm
really different. And so thiswas one of the biggest
challenges you brought to us inthe last year. So we did an

episode on it. You guys fuckingloved it, Episode 47. It's
called mismatched libido, mutualmasturbation, and more. And
here's a snippet.

Jacob O'Neill (40:01):
Rather than saying, I want to fuck you right
now be like, hey lover, I'mfeeling really fucking horny.
I'm just gonna go into the roomand self pleasure. I really just
need to be with my body rightnow I just need to fucking move
this energy. You will want tocome and be a part of that. I
feel I feel like that would likeYeah. Why

Meg O'Neill (40:18):
can I count? Or if I wasn't really feeling I would
just I would literally I wouldbe like, fuck, that's hot. Yeah,
oh my god, I love that you'rechoosing that. And that's

Jacob O'Neill (40:31):
and that goes back to like owning the desire
rather than like, Hey, I'm gonnago into my room and watch porn
and and just get rid of thisenergy so I can come back and be
present with you. It's like,hey, I need to go and be with my
body. My body wants my bodyneeds some lovin. And that can
be like a real sense ofownership. And it can create
this like, really beautifuldynamic for you guys to play

into the attraction. Yeah, andthe the passion between between
the two, the two people.

Meg O'Neill (41:00):
Yeah, and I want to bring a piece in like, cuz I
think a big part of my journeyand even like witnessing when we
started like self pleasuringbeside each other and like,
letting that be a part of youknow,

Jacob O'Neill (41:11):
you remember, there was one time at an
ecovillage? Yeah. Yeah, yeah,remember that? Yeah. Both so No,
it just turned into this hot andheavy. Yeah, love. Maybe that
was just I keep thinking aboutit.

Meg O'Neill (41:22):
I think we were both beside each other. And just
like, I think that was the firsttime we'd ever just like touched
ourselves, yeah, withouttouching each other. And then we
did it each other. And thiscould be, again, this was I just
really, if this feels so out ofreach for you right now or even
uncomfortable, I want you to Iwant to let everyone know that.

Oh, my gosh, this was not therewas a place where I wouldn't
have even the idea of talkingabout masturbating, or the guy
did talking about even sex feltdeeply uncomfortable, even in
this relationship. So this islike a journey. And a big part
of the journey is our ownsexual. Like, our own

relationships to our sexualityand our body. Yeah, right. It's
so important. So I think forwomen, like having your own self
pleasure, practice going andexploring that, especially if
you're feeling like you, youdon't feel very sexually alive,
or you don't want a lot of sexin your relationship. Not that
there's anything, you're notbroken. There's nothing wrong
with you. And if you desire tofeel more sexually alive, start

your own self pleasure practice.
Because you get to create theenvironment where you feel safe
to just explore, no one'sneeding anything from you, no
one's projecting anything on toyou. You just get to explore
your own body, your own desiresin the way that you want to. And
then this is going to awaken.
You know, this, this alivenessin you that that you can then

bring in exploring apartnership. Oh, but something I
wanted to say before is that,like, there will probably be
triggers and discomfort, likeevery human I truly believe
holds so much sexual shame or alot like a lot of sexual shame.
So, you know, maybe it's thefirst time you're witnessing
your partner self pleasure ormasturbate and there's like a

kind of disgust or judgment,like,

Jacob O'Neill (43:15):
be with that.
Trigger is a good thing

Meg O'Neill (43:19):
triggers a such good thing. That's such great
information, it's, it'simportant to feel that it
doesn't mean oh, I'm a badperson for feeling this, or I'm
feeling disgust. Therefore, whathe's doing is disgusting, is
really important. Just becauseyou're feeling disgust does not
mean that the person doing thething is disgusting. That's your
own disgust to feel. Right. Andyou get to feel it. And also,

then it's only by feeling itthat you get to liberate it and
meet that whatever you'rewitnessing. Maybe it's your
partner masturbating. Right.
Maybe it's anal play whatever itis, like you get to liberate
that and then choose to meetthis experience from a different
place. Love that. But only bybeing with a trigger. Is that
possible? Yeah. Next episodethat you motherfucking loved.

Jacob O'Neill (44:05):
I was talking.

Meg O'Neill (44:06):
It was an annual episode. Oh, yeah. But stuff.
This is one of our q&a episodes.
And this is something I want todo way more in season two as
well more Q and A's, because youguys loved the Q and A's. So
even just a side note, wheneveryou have a question, send it to
either of our Instagrams or thepodcast Instagram, and we can we
follow them away for our q&aepisodes. But this q&a is

called. It's episode 16 q&a, howoften do you have sex and anal
101? Now, this again, was one ofthe most popular questions we
got every time we put our q&abox out was how often do you
have sex? Like what is a normalamount to be having sex? And
keep listening because this isour answer. I think it's

something I really want to getacross when answering this
question is that I don't thinkthere's I don't think the
quantity T is what you should bereally dictating your life, your
sex life on. Right? I even thinkin the early days of
relationship, we were probablyhaving a lot more sex, but the

quality was not the qualitywe're having now. No. And there
were many times where we couldhave sex. Yeah, but we choose
not to, because we know it's notgoing to be the kind of sex that
we both really, really trulydesire. Yes. Right. Yes. And we
might often be making out ormoving towards making love and

then the energy is not quitethere. And we will honor that.
Because, again, we we are nothere to have kind of like, Oh,
I'm not really into it, but I'mgonna let you penetrate me
anyway. I, that is never, thatnever happens.

Jacob O'Neill (45:50):
Can I use a metaphor here? Go for it. You're
gonna see what I come up with.
Yeah, very like what what isgoing to happen. So if anyone
plays guitar, like there's sixstrings on a guitar, and if one
of those strings is out of tune,and you try to play a chord, the
whole chord will sound just off,you'd be like, ah, something
doesn't sound quite right. Andif you try to play a song, with
one of those chords are one ofthe strings out of tune. It just

doesn't sound right. There'ssomething just off. And this is
what we're talking about, likewhen the energy isn't right.
There's something that isn't,that isn't in alignment, or
isn't tuned to the rightvibration. And the same sort of
thing is like, if we try to keephaving sex with that slight bit
of incongruence, we're not goingto we make orgasm, we may have a
good sex, but the quality isn'tthere. And that's always been

our value when it comes to thisover the last few years is what
is the quality of the sex thatwe're having rather than the
quantity. But I also know thatif we haven't had sex in, say,
two weeks time, and we're bothreally in depth in our business,
that's an invitation. We'relike, hey, we need to carve out
some time, which I think was thenext question. Like, hey, we
haven't been out on a date forfor for a month. We haven't been

that would I don't think thatwould happen with with you. I
think I would pick up on that alot quicker. But hey, we haven't
spent we haven't spent anyquality time together. We
haven't taken the time to bewith each other for that energy
to build to the point where sexis, is that is the answer. Yes.

Meg O'Neill (47:21):
And for me, I think this is really beautiful. And
obviously this also depends onyour life circumstances. Like I
know if you're a parent, this isthere's a different reality to
this, obviously. But for us, sexdoesn't really it's not a thing
of like, when are we going tohave sex? For me? It is a

natural result when we spendquality time together. Yeah. And
when we are really choosing tobe present with each other sex
just unfolds from that. Yes. Andyou know, this. So for us, it is
like, Okay, what needs tohappen? What do we need to be
choosing in our life to makethat unfold? And I think this is

if you are wanting to increasethe consistency of the sex
you're having the or the amountof sex, you're having really
tune into? What is theenvironment that I require? In
order to be ready for that?
Right? Maybe it is. And forwomen, it's this is such an
important piece for us. We'renot just going to be tough, a

lot of the time, we're not goingto be turned on like this. It's
not as if a man can be like,yes, let's like, I'm ready,
let's go. Some women can be likethat. But majority of the women
I work with are not like that werequire our hearts to be opened
before our policy is open. Yeah.
And that takes a depth ofpresence, we need to feel our

love are really, really therewith us, we need to really feel
that, that quality time or thatreal, like that real deep
presence. And so this might besomething instead of asking the
question, how do I make spacefor sex? Maybe the more powerful
question is, how do we makespace to deep quality time and

deep moments of intimacy?

Jacob O'Neill (49:07):
Okay, this next episode, this was born on
Instagram once again, it was aone back and forth you
connecting with people andengaging and having some back
and forth and this is around thesexy shit men do.

Meg O'Neill (49:23):
I think I put a photo up but no, it was because
little backstory, our toiletroll holder had fallen off
broken. And I said because welive in a rental and I said to
you should we call the realestate and you were like, Fuck,
no. How dare you, I will fix it.
And I went on and shared thatwith all my community on

Instagram and you guys thoughtit was the funniest thing and
also everyone was saying howsexy I was saying how sexy that
was. And so many women weresharing how sexy that was when a
man can fix ship. So then I puta question but hooked up on
Instagram to say shit like whatsome sexy shit men do. And we
got the best fucking responses.

So much fun. I think that's thebiggest question box people have
answered ever or the mostpopular question box I've done
and so we decided to do a wholeepisode on it. And so this
episode it's episode 38 Sexyship men do is literally us just
doing commentary on your answersabout Sexy

Jacob O'Neill (50:26):
Funny backwards hat when is the best date is I
think that's the one we talkedabout in this snippet. Yeah, go
and have a listen.

Meg O'Neill (50:33):
Okay, one that I loved that came up a lot. Three
or four times was backwardCapps.

Jacob O'Neill (50:40):
I need some more data on this like

Meg O'Neill (50:43):
women then I asked you when I read and then I asked
you this morning I was like,because you have a hat on I was
like, can you put your hatbackwards? And then was like,
Oh, I see. I see it I've neverthought that before. So

Jacob O'Neill (50:59):
yeah, I need some more data so shoot us a message
is about backwards kept Yeah.

Meg O'Neill (51:03):
What do you love about backwards carbs? Why I
felt it in my body? Yeah,wanting Yeah. Yeah, it's just my
PC did something.

Jacob O'Neill (51:11):
Okay. Yeah. So I'm excited to see some backward
caps getting around.

Meg O'Neill (51:17):
That was the main one around like visual like in
terms of what they're wearing.
Someone else said work boots.
They find work boots. Very sexy.

Jacob O'Neill (51:25):
Well, you know, a lot of I've got a friend and
shout out Dylan like Dylan rocksaround the work boots. And he
you're in a lot of women that Iknow. Like, yeah, Dylan. Yeah.
And he rocks to the work boots.
Pretty, pretty solid.

Meg O'Neill (51:37):
His hair and he's good. And he's good. Yeah, him
coming up. We're talking aboutDylan. Yeah, he'll love it. Him
coming out. He's got thatmotorbike though. Yeah, yeah.
And then the leather vest hewears and he's got talent and
him riding up on thatobnoxiously loud motorbike. It's
very sad for

Jacob O'Neill (51:58):
Yeah, even I even my feminine. My feminine course
does when he rocks up on thatmotorbike and it's like boy it's
very interesting drawn to it.
Okay, I think signal said like asharp dressed man as well. Yeah,

Meg O'Neill (52:12):
someone said it.
What I loved the way she put it.
dress she finds dressing sharpand dramatic. Yeah.

Jacob O'Neill (52:20):
And like that makes me think of like, people
like James Bond like dressing.

Meg O'Neill (52:24):
I love that word dressing sharp. Okay, some other
ones. So this particular personsaid, my man doesn't fix shit,
because this was off the back oftalking about the toilet roll
holder. And she said I'm okaywith that. But he does tell me
what to do a lot. drool,

Unknown (52:40):
drool, drool.

Jacob O'Neill (52:41):
I love that you love being told what to do.
Yeah. And I

Meg O'Neill (52:44):
think, you know, this is so not I would never be
I don't never want to be like ina DOM sub 24/7 relationship. No
way. But I love that discernmentyou have in like, yeah, knowing
when to bring that or I'll justask for it. Like before, when I
was trying on a top, I was like,Can you pick? Anyone like no.

And I was like, No, I just don'twant to make the decision. For
me. Like, I love knowing thatI'm a woman that can make
especially as a woman inbusiness where I'm making a lot
of decisions all the time. AndI'm leading a life. It's so
beautiful to have thatexperience of like, fucking
outsourcing that and restinginto not having to make
decisions like That's fuckinghot for me. Definitely. So I

feel that when my man says, I'llfix that.

Jacob O'Neill (53:36):
key piece to that I'll fix that the thing that
actually grounds that is thengoing in fixing it. I don't know
what the last last last podcast,we're talking about this like
saying you're gonna do it andthen not doing it. That's a
recipe for disaster, becauseyou're gonna get a little hit of
feminine nourishment. When yousay you're gonna do it, and
she'll open to you. Like, oh,yeah, that's sexy. Yeah. But
then two weeks later, when it'snot done, and you've said you

were going to do it, thatcompletely. It takes it it
creates this whole element ofmistrust. Yes. Which is what
we're speaking about, like,these things are not just about
what women find sexy. It's likewhat women find they can rest
into, which is a trust and asafety thing and a respect
thing. Yeah. All right. Allright. All right. This next one

is a q&a as well, this episode,and you guys loved the q&a. You
and I survived. But this one'sall about getting kinky. It is.
And this one's about desires.
And this is one about fulfillingdesires and having conversations
around desires and how it canlead to an even more epic
relationship when you bring themin our safe and honest, open
way. I think that's such a bigthing like getting kinky isn't

always like going straight tothe kink. It's actually the
conversations that happen aroundit and we really speak to the
speak to this very regularlythere's quite a strong A strong
thread amongst all of ourpodcasts is how you can actually
by just having the conversationthat is half of the actual, the
practice opening to it so youcan actually feel connected to

your partner and then it's notreally about what you guys do.
It's the fact that you arefeeling you can feel each
other's hearts, right? Yes.

Meg O'Neill (55:18):
And we teach you how to have this Converse these
kind of conversations if there'sa desire you have in the
bedroom, we talk all about thatin this episode, it's called
q&a, getting kinky finding the gspot and much more, it's episode
39. And if you want more, wehighly recommend you going by
our desire date. So this is adate night experience that we've

designed we actually did it upfor ourselves originally and it
worked because we wanted to getkinky and we wanted to expand
outside of just having our none

Jacob O'Neill (55:47):
of those episodes would be possible without the
desire to totally animal

Meg O'Neill (55:51):
was born out anal experience was born from us
doing the design a to get uslike five or six years ago. And
so we created this, it was sucha game changer for our
relationship and opening us upto having this real non
judgmental communication arounddesires and fantasies and
expanding into wider spaces inin the bedroom. So we created

the design a for you. It's aguided date night, where we
guide you online through variousaudio recordings into expressing
your desires and having thisconversation really safe. non
judgmental space. It's only 27Ozzy dollars, so it's
ridiculously cheap. If there'sone thing in our work that I
suggest couples do, it's thedesire date. Oh, I so fucking

game changing. So you can eitherfind that go to either about
Instagrams or DMS for the linkor just head to the show notes
below. And it'll be there and gopurchase it and go book in your
sexy desire date night. And nowlisten to this fun little
snippet from that episode, getit

Jacob O'Neill (56:53):
one of the parts of BDSM. And kink is actually
exploring desires. And one ofthe biggest aversions that men
and women can have, if they'vegot the nice guy kind of energy,
or if they've got the good girlkind of energy, they don't want
to be too much, they don't wantto take up too much space. And
when you start to bring yourdesires to your relationship,
they start to feel the space. Sothis is probably the first thing

too, that I like to share withpeople is okay, your desires are
okay. It's okay to have desires,it's actually quite normal. And
the practice here for all of usand whoever, whoever you are, or
whoever you're relating with is,can you actually just start to
normalize your desires, and nottack on an expectation with

them. Because that was thebiggest thing I realized when we
went into the desire date anddid it it was like, I felt free
because I got to share all ofthese desires. And it wasn't
even that I needed for them tobe actualized or acted upon in
that moment. It's just that Igot to put them out there and be
witnessed. And I'd say weprobably have by now ticked

quite a few of those things off.
But it was more just in the thethe sharing and the
vulnerability that cracked meopen and cracked you open. And
then we had the connection. Andthen it was, ah, this is what
I'm looking for the feeling notthe action is just a desire as
an honoring of the feeling,which then allows the connection
to occur. So yeah, that I feellike I've gone a little off

track. But that's superimportant. Because a lot of guys
I know, like I don't want to beI don't want to ask too much of
my partner. So the only way youcan ask too much of your
partners if your desire has anexpectation connected to it. Oh.

Meg O'Neill (58:40):
And I think one of the things that we speak a lot
into in the desire date. Andthis is an important piece to
bring in when you are wanting toshare desires, especially you
know, kinky or desires or, youknow, while the desires in the
bedroom is really having aconsciousness about not creating

being a safe space for yourpartner. And this doesn't mean
having to say yes to what theywant to do. Let's use anal for
example. Like your partner wantsto explore that. And you at the
moment are in no. You can hearhis desire for that. You can

celebrate his desire for that.
And you can own your know. Yes.
And often what we do especiallybecause the truth is a lot of
these like wild a kinky stuff istaboo. And when something is
taboo, it means we hold shamearound it. Right? And so if our

partner brings us something thatin our experience or in our body
feels taboo or feel shameful,there is often a reaction of
projecting that shame onto themand making them feel feel
embarrassed or wrong for wantingthat. Were in order to really I

think this is like an anecessary ingredient. And this
is why BDSM and playing in thesekinds of spaces is actually so
fucking profound. Like it's sofucking profound for consent and
understanding, like reallydeepening into like layers of
consent, and the level ofcommunication and the level of
non judgment that is needed whenyou're playing in those spaces

and you're leaning into morewildly kinky things in
partnership or with a lover likeit's fucking it takes a lot of
masterful communication and ittakes a lot of like owning your
know or owning your gas orunderstanding your know when
you're Yes, lovers.

Jacob O'Neill (01:00:48):
This next episode is how to pleasure a woman What
number is this? My Love Episodesaid 4545. This is such an
incredible episode. It includesso much of what you may not
think as well, like how topleasure a woman isn't just
finding the G Spot It isn't justthe specific moves or like
having a specific way to touchher policy or a way to a

specific sex position. This isso much more than that. And
that's what I loved about thisepisode was that we actually got
to unpack the the actualapproach that we can take to
pleasuring our woman to makesure that we're not only aware
of her needs, but we're attuningto the moment. Yes.

Meg O'Neill (01:01:31):
And I know in this episode, I guided everyone
listening through like thelandscape of a woman and where
to begin and how to actuallymove through the different parts
of a woman before you actuallyget to get to her pussy and how
to open her like a flower. Yes,um, so this is for if you if
you're in heterosexualrelationship, this is for you as

a woman, right, because you'regonna understand yourself a lot
better. And then this is alsofor the men to learn how to
actually meet your woman's body.
If you want more after thisepisode, I highly recommend
going and purchasing my pleasureanatomy workshop. So again, this
is for is designed for women tounderstand their pussies better
to understand how to actuallyreach their orgasmic potential.

If you're having sex, that'spainful, if you're having sex,
that's just a bit mad. A lot ofthe time, it's because you don't
actually understand the anatomyof your arousal and how how your
pussy becomes aroused and whatshe needs in order to have
incredible sex. But this is alsofor you can sit down and watch
this with your man. So heunderstands more about the

anatomy and arousal of yourpolicies so he can learn to
pleasure her better. So there'sa link in the show notes for
this as well. And this isepisode 45. How to pleasure a
woman is

Jacob O'Neill (01:02:47):
a little snippet enjoy. This is probably the key
thing is different, like men canbe very much like, straight to
the point. And we spoke aboutthis on another podcast about
that urgency. So the first thingthat you like as a man if you
are pleasuring a woman or if youare wanting to pleasure a woman
is to insecure insecure, youensure that her heart is in the

space that it's a rice, becauseif it hasn't, then you aren't
aware of her whole body, youaren't aware of what these
might, in my opinion, the mostimportant part of sex, the most
important part of pleasure isthat someone's heart is in it.

Meg O'Neill (01:03:22):
Yes. And you could touch all the in quotation marks
right places and do all theright things. But if a woman's
heart hasn't arrived, if she isnot feeling safe to open, or
simply if she's just done a hugefucking day where she has been
really busy and she's hangingout in her head, she is going to

struggle again, no matter howgood your tongue is, no matter
how good your fingers are, nomatter how good anything is, she
is going to struggle to reallyrelax into the depth of her
pleasure. So this is the numberone piece to know about a
woman's arousal and a woman'spleasure is that her heart must
arrive. And for those of you inlong term relationships as well,

this is really important becauseif there is something that a
woman is holding on to, if thereis some kind of closure in her
heart, if she is you know she'sthere's some unspoken things
that she hasn't brought to youor hasn't brought into the
space. Or if you did somethingan hour before the pista off.
She hasn't spoken about it. Ifyou desire to pleasure, that

woman that is going to need tobe brought to the surface, right
the doorway to her pussy, butalso the doorway to her being
able to relax into the depth ofher pleasure is being able to
open her heart. Right and thatmeans often having a
conversation on bringingsomething forth. And we talk
about this a lot on the podcastthat this happens a lot for us

like we might begin to have sexor begin to make out and then
you will often feel it and Iwill feel that my buddy isn't
really opening or going intothose states of pleasure. And I
can feel oh, there's likesomething here, there's
something to be spoken into, orthere's something to be met

Jacob O'Neill (01:05:14):
Yeah, and I really want to reiterate this
for men is like, sometimes itactually has nothing to do with
you why her heart is closed thewife has in her head. But if you
want to please her, if you wantto provide pleasure to her, then
this is the first step, anythingthat you try to do outside of
this, or in sub likesubstituting this, you're not

going to, you're not going tocreate the what I believe is one
of most important parts ofpleasure, which is to feel a
deep connection with anotherperson, especially in intimacy.
So realistically, the the onlything that you can do to start
any form of pleasure is to is tocheck Hey, is there is this
person's heart here? Yeah. And Iknow I've been going down on you

before and like, it'll just likethey'll just all of a sudden,
they'll be this like, numbnessin your body and I'm like, her
heart's not here. It's like,I've got to stop. And even
sometimes, even sometimes,you'll be like, no, no, no,
let's just keep going. And like,oh, no, this is Mike. This is my
my responsibility if I'm aware,I have a duty to actually

address it.

Meg O'Neill (01:06:21):
Yes. And final snippets my love's I hope you're
enjoying this recap and spendingtime with us when the last year
final snippets, we add a fewguest episodes here on the
podcast. In the last year, wehad my beautiful friend Lola
Richie. We had the beautifulcouple, Oren Harris and Chelsea

Joe Huntsman. And then we alsohad my beautiful friend and
fellow sex educator, EleanorHadley. And she came on These
were, these were your favoritefucking guest episodes. And the
reels that I made with thesejust went the fuck off on
Instagram. The first episode wasepisode 53 It was called pussy
licking 101 The Ultimate Guideto licking policy. And then

episode 54 was blow jobs 101 wasthe ultimate guide to sucking
cock there. And little spoileralert season two, we're gonna
have videos full video content,you're gonna be able to watch
every episode on Spotify orYouTube you choose. And these
episodes are going to beuploaded to YouTube because they

are worth watching. So even ifyou've already listened to them,
Go back when they're on YouTubewill let you know. Because
Eleanor had like props anddildos and vulva cushions. And
we had lollipops, and we werelooking lollipops, as she taught
me how to lick pissy it was theywere very fucking fun episodes.
So much fun. So this is we speaka lot about the energetics of

sucking cock and looking pussy.
But also Eleanor speaks into areal almost like formula and
some real tricks and tips andtactics for Yeah, being able to
pleasure and worship a cocktailpussy really powerfully. So
here's a few snippets by goingListen to these Episodes Episode
53 and 54. To go and equipyourself with some pussy licking

and cocksucking skills, enjoyothers, well, thank you

Unknown (01:08:18):
kind of inviting our partner or working to a point
where our partner is practicallybegging for us to be inside.
They're like, Oh, my God, like,I just need you in me now. Like,
we want to get to that point.
And if you try to do that, toosoon, it's gonna feel a little
bit jarring. And it won't beanywhere near as pleasurable.
And so you're kind of buildingup this pressure this to your,

you know, you're allowing thatblood to flow to the stimulus
valves to all of the places thatit needs to in the vulva. And
building up that pleasure to thepoint where they're like, Oh, my
God, I cannot I can last anothersecond without you inside me.
Like, practically begging,please, for the love of God.

That's what we want to get to.
And if you rush that process,you're essentially just sort of
dialing down the level ofpleasure potential.

Meg O'Neill (01:09:13):
Right? Totally. And a lot of women don't even know
that experience getting to thatstage of like, oh, I need you
inside of me exempt. That's alot of why women aren't having,
you know, satisfying sex orstruggling with orgasm. Yeah,
that not allowing for thatpreheating of the oven. Yeah,

Unknown (01:09:31):
exactly. And so like, if anyone's listening, they're
like, I've never like craved adick in me. I mean, maybe. Maybe
that's why you're listening.
Maybe you want to be a probecause you got it for yourself.
But for people who have thatexperience, like it's so so
helpful, to take your time tothe point where you're like, oh

my god, I'm actually cravingthis. And if you are the person
who's provided Being someonewith pleasure, you have a lot of
power there. And you can likemake them like sweat a little
bit and be like, I'm going toheat the fuck out of you, I'm
going to build that pleasure offuntil you're like about to
explode. And then we're going tokeep riding those waves. It's

really amazing. How fun to beable to gift that level of
pleasure to someone.

Meg O'Neill (01:10:21):
And because I think a big part of like, COC worship
is being able to genuinely, youknow, look that cock in the eye
and be like, you're beautiful. Idecided to put you in my mouth.
I'm excited to, you know, have arelationship with you right now.
And that can be a fuckingjourney. Yeah. And I think he's
deeply related to obviously, theperson who has that caucus.

Well. But yeah, what would whatwould be, what would be some of
those pieces you would bringaround that for you.

Unknown (01:10:50):
So very similar to the topic that we talk about a lot
when we speak about going downon the sea is safety. So I'm not
going to give just anyone a blowjob. Just because I like giving
blowjobs I like giving a blowjobto someone who I feel deserves
it, who I feel safe with, who Itrust, who I know, cares about

my pleasure as well. And isn'tjust trying to use me to get
their pleasure. Despite the factthat I'm I'm wanting to bring
them pleasure in that moment. IfI feel like it's kind of more
like transactional, or just likeone sided? Yeah, I'm not going
to be as excited about doingthat. So firstly, I think about
like, who? Who are you goingdown on? And like, do you

actually really give a fuckabout their pleasure? Like, do
you do want to connect with themin this way? Or does it feel
like a chore? Do you feel likeyou're not being respected in
some way, shape? Or form? Isthere some kind of lingering
resentment within yourrelationship within your
connection, then it's not goingto be as Reverend, you're not

going to like it as much. And soI think that's a really, really
key factor. Yeah, again, youknow, as much as I love sharing,
like tangible tips andtechniques, we can never, ever
just throw that on to a badrelationship. You know, if
you're like, I resent you,because for the past, like 10

years, you have belittled meevery single day in front of my
family, or whatever. Or like,you literally never do what you
say you're going to do, or likethere's something there that is
like this distressingresentment. There's no no tips
and tricks that I can teach youthat are going to just be like,
Oh, cool. Now, like, I can giveyou a great blowjob. I don't

want to, because I don't likeI'm gonna send you like, I don't
feel connected with you. I don'tfeel safe with you. I don't
respect you. Or I don't feelrespected by you. Like you're
not you need to work on thatstuff first. Yeah. And so this
isn't a band aid. This is morelike, how can we elevate a great
sex life that we already have?

Meg O'Neill (01:12:58):
I love that. And so much of what you just spoke
about is like, such key topicswe talk about here like that
resentment piece. I often say ifyou don't want to fuck your
partner, what conversation areyou not having? We're like
what's going on said we talkedabout like the channel between
the hearts like, what they'reblocking that intimacy that then
makes all of this possible andfun and playful and beautiful.

Exactly. Yeah.

Jacob O'Neill (01:13:21):
Okay, lovers, this is the end of this podcast.
Thank you so much. Goodbye. Thisis the end of this podcast
episode, I should say we arestarting season two of these
podcasts, this podcast willnever die. It is immortal. It'll
go it'll continue on as eternal.

Meg O'Neill (01:13:40):
We will make our future children they carry out
this play.

Jacob O'Neill (01:13:44):
And they're gonna have to listen to all of the
podcasts just as they hitpuberty now this podcast is
coming to an end guys, we justwant to say thank you for
walking down memory lane of thefirst year of sex, love and
everything in between this asyou know, I just want to give
you my love a pat on the back ofmyself a pat on the back and say

like we did it, like wecontinually showed up. And I'm
so proud of, you know, thesacrifices that we've made and
the devotion that we've shown toour art. And I believe that our
relationship is a work of art.
And the way that we share it is,is it's fucking music. It's
heartfelt. It's a heartfeltfucking masterpiece. I'm going
to celebrate us for what we'vecreated and how we show up and

what we offer the world in oursacred union. So thank you,
thank you. And yeah, thank youguys so much once again for for
sticking with us through thisbeautiful little chat. Just
checking in on all thosefavorite episodes and we love
like Mike said we'd love youguys to review we'd love to
receive your messages. We'd loveto be in relationship with you
guys as well. So never hesitateto shoot us a message on

Instagram or go over and throwthat review up on Apple
podcasts. And just want to recapas well that we're Uh, we're
going to be up, we're going tobe starting Season Two shortly.
And it's gonna be a whole lotmore guests, which I'm super
excited about. I'm

Meg O'Neill (01:15:08):
really excited. We have a whole lot of guests lined
up over the next few months. Soyou can expect Yeah, more and
more and more guest episodes,every single month. Or probably
every fortnight it's going to beus, just the two of us. So
please know that, you know, ourdeep conversations our raw
unfiltered behind the sceneslook into our marriage, our
relationship our sex live, it'snot going anywhere. You are

still gonna get the uncertaincensored, unfiltered O'Neill's
for sure. Totally. We're soexcited for ya, to bring you
guests to deepen with guests tobring you experts in the field
of relationships and sex. AndI'm so fucking excited about the
guests that are coming. Reallyepic guests lined up. Yeah, and

Jacob O'Neill (01:15:49):
we've and sorry, you go on,

Meg O'Neill (01:15:50):
I was just gonna say, season two is going to be
filmed. It's all going to befilmed. If we highly recommend
you, I'm a Spotify listener.
That's where I listen to mypodcasts. So you're going to be
able to watch episodes onSpotify, but also on YouTube. If
you want to just continue tolisten as you're walking or
driving or whatever, that'sperfectly okay, as well. But I
know some people just like lovethe visual. So I can't wait for

you to see us as well in seasontwo. Totally.

Jacob O'Neill (01:16:16):
And the thing that season two, like we're
getting guests in that wefucking love. That's the thing.
We're excited to speak to thesepeople. So what we want you guys
to know is that like, Yeah, I'mgonna be having conversations
with some some people, Megan'sgonna be having conversations
with some people, and we'regonna be having conversations
together with guests, there'sgonna be so many different ways
that you're gonna be able toreceive information from
different people. And I'm reallyexcited about this, because it's

gonna bring a whole nother depthto the podcast and what we're
wanting to speak into, but it'sgonna There's gonna be loads of
sex, loads of love, and loads ofrelationship stuff on here,
that's not going anywhere. Sobring it on.

Meg O'Neill (01:16:49):
We love you. Once again, we're so fucking
grateful. We're so excited tocontinue journeying alongside
you and serving you and servingyour relationship. If you desire
more from us, I know you guyslove the fucking podcast, but
our doors are always open towork with us. Again, the links
in the show notes for all theways to work with us the desired

eight doors to full spectrumwoman opens during the
membership, you are alwaystaking men in your membership
secret and

Jacob O'Neill (01:17:18):
loads of events coming up over the next year as
well with the with the men'swork that we're doing. So you

Meg O'Neill (01:17:23):
can come and work with either Jake or I one on
one. And we also do relationshipcoaching now. So we do 212 You
can work really deeply well tocombo of one on one and two on
two. Basically, if you are ifyou're a man wanting to work
with Jacob and a woman orwanting to work with me, and
you're in partnership with eachother, and you want us to
support you in your relationshipas well. Yeah, we have big

relationship immersions that aregoing down this year as well. So
yeah, just DM us if if you wantto deepen with us, we would
fucking love that much. Is thateverything my love? I feel
completely complete. Werecomplete on season one.

Jacob O'Neill (01:18:00):
Let's go. Let's go. We will

Meg O'Neill (01:18:02):
see you season two next week. We can't wait. We'll
see you then.

Jacob O'Neill (01:18:06):
Love you so much, guys. Thanks

Meg O'Neill (01:18:07):
for being here.

Jacob O'Neill (01:18:11):
Yo, yo, yo, thank you so much for tuning in to
another episode of sex, love andeverything in between. Now if
you'd like to stay connectedwith Megan, I You can head on
over to Instagram and follow meat the Jacob O'Neill and where
can people find you lover

Meg O'Neill (01:18:25):
at the dot mag dot o amazing

Jacob O'Neill (01:18:30):
and yeah, guys, check out the show notes for all
the information in regards towhat we've got coming up. And
yeah, we're super super gratefulthat you guys for taking the
time to listen to this podcast.
If you do have any topics or anyquestions, like I said, hit us
up on Instagram and we'll seewhat we can do. Apart from that
have a beautiful, beautiful restof your day.

Meg O'Neill (01:18:49):
Thanks for being here.

Jacob O'Neill (01:18:50):
Big Big Love.
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