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May 22, 2024 66 mins

In this deeply emotional and raw episode of Sex, Love, and Everything in Between, Meg and Jacob has a conversation about the struggles and beauty of aging in today’s world.

Meg shares her recent, deeply personal experiences with feeling insecure about her appearance and how society plays a deep part in the perception of beauty.  She opens up about how these societal pressures can erode self-confidence, making women feel small, unworthy, and unattractive. 

She talks about an upsetting incident that made her realize the importance of speaking out about feelings of insecurity and dealing with criticism. 

Meg's brave decision to start these tough conversations provides strength and support for other women facing similar issues.

They also riff off on:

  • Meg seeing a screenshot of her mouth posted by an injectable nurse saying it needed fixing. 
  • Meg realizing how much the beauty standards affect her and all women.
  • Meg crying in her car after seeing the screenshot, feeling grief for all women.
  • Meg feeling grief for how many women are affected by beauty standards daily
  • Jacob telling Meg her radiance comes from within, not her looks
  • Meg feeling a part of her wanted to contract and be small from insecurity  
  • Meg realizing how much her own value was tied to beauty and youthfulness
  • Meg wanting to be a voice for aging women after her experiences 
  • Jacob saying Meg's goal should be to be a woman who is deeply felt by life
  • Meg looking forward to the journey of aging and the wisdom she can share later in life

and many more...

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⚡️Let’s Stay Connected:

IG: @the.meg.o @thejacoboneill @sexloveeverythinginbetween

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Want more? Here are some of the offerings & courses you can join us in…

CLAIMED: An in-person event who wants to feel deeply claimed by their partner: 

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: A 4 week course for couples ready for a sexier, wilder, more ALIVE relationship… NOW! --->

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Jacob & Meg also coach individuals & couples. Reach out to them via Instagram for more information. 

Mark as Played

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Meg O'Neill (00:00):
like we don't have to burn witches anymore. We just

teach women how to hatethemselves like we used to burn
witches because we wish theworld was threatened by the
power they weren't witches. Theywere women they were powerful
women. And you burn witchesbecause they were a threat. And
so women can be a threat womenin their power women who love

themselves women who radiate thethreatening to our culture. And
so you don't want a threateningwoman you just create this like
story that there is it there isalways something to be fixed
there is something broken

Jacob O'Neill (00:50):
yo, yo, yo lovers, welcome welcome. Welcome
to sex, love and everything inbetween where the O'Neill's
you're here with Meg and Jacob.

Meg O'Neill (00:58):
this is the place we have really uncensored
conversations about sex,intimacy and relationships.
We're super excited. You'rehere. Enjoy this Episode

Jacob O'Neill (01:17):
Hey, baby mama.

Unknown (01:18):
Hey, hey. Big Daddy.
Big Daddy year,

Jacob O'Neill (01:22):

Unknown (01:23):
D is that what you want to call you for now? That is

Jacob O'Neill (01:26):
all I've ever wanted to be. such a young age.
All I wanted to be called wasBig Daddy from from lovers from.
From my followers, from peoplewho listened to podcasts that
I'm on. I'd love to be referredto Big Daddy forward as Big
Daddy. Big Daddy. Hey, daddy.
Yeah, so if anyone wants to geta shirt made for me or daddy

Meg O'Neill (01:49):
lately, like you've been buying me clothes and
things and yes, that's actuallybeen kind of fun. Has it? Yeah.

Jacob O'Neill (01:57):
You love to be dominated.

Unknown (01:59):
I love to be dominated.
Yeah, I've been enjoying thatlately.

Jacob O'Neill (02:03):
What are you called? Cutie pie? Should we let
everyone in on our nor?

Unknown (02:09):
Something needed to see for us?

Jacob O'Neill (02:12):
Really? Is that what this podcast is about? Just
things for us? No, really? I

Unknown (02:16):
don't think there's much.

Jacob O'Neill (02:19):
Not at all. But um, yep, that is my preferred
term. So if anyone is lookingfor a name for me, Big Daddy. Is
it the day? Yep. And you? LittleMama. Mama. Mama.

Unknown (02:33):
Mama back Big Daddy.
Little Mama. Yeah. Hi, everyone.

Jacob O'Neill (02:37):
Hey, we are here.
In the podcast room today. Yeah,we actually

Meg O'Neill (02:41):
just started recording an episode. And then
guess what? It stopped. And werealized why because it didn't
stop. We had a fight.

Unknown (02:50):
The dog barked. And then I want to dust it off. And

Meg O'Neill (02:54):
she didn't want to stop and but it's all for a
reason. Because a deeper topicwanted to come through if

Jacob O'Neill (03:01):
you ever question why things are happening to you
just know that there's agreater, greater story at play.
And it'll all make sense. On theother side of the the challenge
that you're currently going.
That is

Meg O'Neill (03:14):
the truth. And sometimes people are in a state
where that is not the rightthing to say to people. Yes, I
look back at like my early 20sWhen I was first in the world of
spirituality. And I woulddefinitely say that to people
just think your way out of it.
Like it's happening for areason. Like this is for you.
Like, please don't say that topeople when they're in deep


Jacob O'Neill (03:37):
Yeah, that's not very compassionate. No,

Meg O'Neill (03:40):
it's not. There's a time and place. Anyway, we went
in deep pain over the podcast,but it did happen for a reason,
because there is a veryvulnerable, fiery topic that I
we're gonna go that's very livefor me right now. And I didn't
think I was gonna bring it for alittle while, but

Jacob O'Neill (03:56):
I just realized something. What did you realize?

Unknown (03:59):
feeling nervous? Yeah, like this is?

Jacob O'Neill (04:02):
Now I'm actually any topic that like, I've been
sitting with my work recently.
I'm like, I'm fucking a bitbored. Talking about surface
level stuff. And yeah, I metwith a couple of bros from the
sunny coast and they're, they dodifferent work. And they they're
really good at the content stuffonline. And I'm like, and one
guy reflected back to me, he'slike, Yeah, you're like the fish
that sits at the bottom of theocean that no one ever really

sees. Like, that's the depth ofyour work, bro. He's like, but
sometimes you have to come upand like, talk about stuff as
well. You gotta keep talkingabout the things and like Yeah,
but I just want to go deep. Idon't want to I want to see you
know, like the you know, the theancient fish that sits at the

Meg O'Neill (04:40):
because you're not creating the kind of content
that's like three ways to

Jacob O'Neill (04:44):
Yeah, I'm not and that that I feel that that can
and I think that most peoplewill go through a season like
this where things start to getboring, but like, the topic that
we were, it's it's relevant, andI think we're going to come back
and offer some more teachingkind of content on that. But
this topic right now I'm justlike, fuck it. Let's go. Let's
go deep. Let's like really crackopen Pandora's box.

Unknown (05:06):
Think we're gonna be cracking open me Maggie's box.
Lauren Wallace little Mama'sbox.

Jacob O'Neill (05:15):
But this is an important topic and I think this
is kind of like your journey hasbeen leading you toward this.

Meg O'Neill (05:21):
what unfolded yesterday, which I'll get into
details, like,

Jacob O'Neill (05:25):
you'll get the tea that Hey, say that.

Unknown (05:27):
That's very common thing. Me

Jacob O'Neill (05:30):
tick tock relevant. Three ways.

Meg O'Neill (05:34):
You're really handy with that Mark today.

Jacob O'Neill (05:37):
Am I Yeah.

Unknown (05:40):
Okay, anyway.

Meg O'Neill (05:44):
Actually, um, yeah, what unfolded yesterday was just
like, I was already feeling andwe are gonna get to the topic,
we will see what it needs to doin a moment. But I was already
feeling like, I think I mean,called to speak to this thing.
Like it keeps coming up. For me.
It's very alive. For me. I'msure it's very alive, other
women. And then something bighappened yesterday. And it was

just like, Okay, this is I ambeing asked to speak on this
topic. And the topic is around.
I don't even know how to say it.
Image Image, yeah, insecurity,beauty standards for women, all
tied up into that. And for me afew weeks ago, I thought maybe

it was only last week, I reallystarted to there a few days
where I felt really insecure.
And I hadn't felt this level ofinsecurity around the way I
looked in quite a long time.
Actually, that's probably nottrue, because I had a hair drama
about a year and I'm gonna gowhere a bunch of my hair fell

out. And I had to go from beingblonde to dark. And it just
like, every time I looked in themirror at my hair, there was
almost just like this pang oflike, no, oh, and I didn't
realize how much my hair and howmy hair was just like big and
thick and curly. And I wouldjust get to wake up and, you
know, fling it to the side. AndI would feel like it looked over

it. And I'd, it was just a partof my image and part of my
identity, and then a bunch of itfell out or broke off. And that
really wobbled. Me and thatreally wobbled me for a while.
Then Anyway, last week, yeah, Iwas just feeling really
insecure. And I had this rash onmy face that I'm not too sure

what it is. And I've beenworking with a few different
things to like, try and work outand it's been there on and off
for months. And that was reallykind of just like, present and
annoying me. And then I hadn'tgotten my hands on I'm like, I'm
31 But I'm very gray. I'm verygray. I don't even feel
vulnerable to

Unknown (07:56):
like share I think I'm gonna cry on this

Jacob O'Neill (08:05):
oh, god this is big for you like you've been
this is I would argue that yeah,ever since the hair thing like
this has been a journey for you.
This has been like who? Who amI?

Meg O'Neill (08:15):
I just think it's confirmed I'll get into it soon.
But I think is a woman likewhat's been really coming out
for me and then I'm so fuckingfired up from yesterday. It's
because I'm just seeing how muchwe're sold this story that like
there's something constantly tobe fixed within us and
constantly we have to be sohyper vigilant with like, What

is wrong with us? What is wrongwith us what is wrong with us
and it's a fucking lie and we'rebeing deceived, but it's so it
can feel so real as a woman Itcan feel so it can feel so real.
And you know, back to what I wassaying around like I got when I

was blonde, I didn't know I wasgray, or I saw a few and I was
like, I couldn't tell it wasgreat. And then I went dark and
I saw so gray, I've got so manygray hairs. So I'm at this stage
of my life, I don't want to go Idon't want to show my grades are
like be gray. So I'm getting myhair done. And last I just got
my head on today but last week Iyou know, I could see a lot of

Gray's at this rash on my face.
And I'm a woman that's choosingto age so I'm not getting Botox
I'm not doing anything so like,I'm seeing the texture of my
skin change I'm I'm seeing justmyself aging and then being
pregnant and like I love mypregnant body naked. But then
it's been challenging as it'sgotten colder I didn't have any

clothes to wear so it's justlike I was just had this few
days of being like I just likedid not want to be seen

Unknown (10:04):
Yeah, I was just like such a,

Meg O'Neill (10:08):
you know, I'm, I'm usually such a confident woman
and I feel like those things Ididn't even know it was so
confronting to be with because Ididn't know how much I was tied
in letting that story. And thebeauty standards of our culture
affects me, like I wouldactually would have said, I was

someone even before the hairthing happened a year ago, I
would have said, I'm someonethat doesn't really care about
the way I look, or not tied upin that. And that's not fucking
true at all. And I don't thinkany woman is immune to that in
our culture, right? Like, thereis literally just like, from
every fucking direction, youknow, information on things

telling this narrative tellingus that like, you know, it's not
safe to age that really came upfor me last week, how I was
seeing like this. How much myeven value the world has told me
my value is intertwined with mybeauty, and not even my beauty,

my youthfulness. And so that wasreally like, it was almost like,
What the fuck? I didn't know thestory was here. I thought it was
just gonna age and be okay with.

Unknown (11:28):
Surprise, surprise.
Yeah. And that's what's

Meg O'Neill (11:30):
felt confronting to be like, Oh, wow, this is
affecting me or Wow, this feels,I can feel the part of me. And
this is what the world fuckingwants, right? I can feel the
part of me that wants tocontract and be small. That's
what I felt last week. I wasjust like, you know, we had lots
of social events on and I waslike, on Saturday, I don't want

to go anywhere. I don't want tolike there was this part of me
that just didn't want to beseen. Which, yeah, again, like
the word I keep using is it wasreally just confronting to be
with like my insecurity. Andthis part of me that wanted to
shrivel, because I could see mygray hair. And because I felt my
skin didn't look good. Andbecause I felt like I didn't

feel sexy. And yeah, there'spart of me that just wanted to
be small. My love if you are awoman that deeply desires to be
claimed, cherished, chosenravished in partnership, whether

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person immersion for threeentire days, three entire days
devoted to breathing down thewalls of your heart, opening

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have not run an in person eventor women only event in a very
long time. And given the babyI'm about to have I will not for
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we are going to go deep it isgoing to be an unforgettable
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Instagram, all the informationis there, I can't wait to be
with you. And so all of that wasunfolding. And I had quite a few
conversations with like somegirlfriends around it. And we
were, you know, talking aboutaging and yeah. And then

yesterday I saw one of my reallygood friends at the markets and
we were having this conversationand I was sharing with her how
I'd gone through you know, a fewdays of like feeling really
insecure and like and she's awoman that's in our early 40s
and is again choosing to age andwelcome her age if it's sneeze

bless you. And so we were justhaving that conversation around
like the deception and the thelies we as women are told about
how we're constantly fed thisstory that something within us
needs to be fixed. And then guysthe combination of the stories
coming and you know like how Iwas already feeling this thing

of like this has been reallyreal for me I think I think this
is just something I need tospeak into obviously been
thinking of like within fullspectrum woman potentially
having someone to come on andspeak about aging, and just like
I could just feel it was aconversation that needed to be
had. And then this is where myfire kicks in here comes. And I
also just want to bring contextto, when I was going through

that insecurity and seeing thatstory that I was, I was letting
touch me the story of, you know,you must feel sexy and youthful,
or you must be beautiful to beable to take up space. Right?
That was just like feeling andseeing that I was also then just
like feeling this grief of likeour world and, and women like

that, that so many women live, Iwould say, many women in the
western world live with thisstory, right? And act on that
story and let that storydetermine so much of the
decision making and how theyspend their money and what they
value and all of these differentthings. So it was already just
like being with more of thecollective story around this.

And then yesterday, I wassitting alone having lunch at a
cafe and someone someone onInstagram messages me and says
Hey, and send me a screenshot ofa woman's post and says, Hey,

Unknown (16:11):
I think this is you is this you

Meg O'Neill (16:14):
and it was a fucking injectable nurse it was
a fucking joke. I was just gonnasay where it was and I'm gonna
say where it was I won't say atbut it was an injectable nurse
from MCI that had taken ascreenshot of my mouth and put

it on her Instagram stories andsorry put it as a tile post on
Instagram and said what did shesay it was something like should

Unknown (16:45):
we get it out?

Jacob O'Neill (16:46):
I'll get it up and I'll read it out and you
unleash the fury yeah don't holdback. Oh, I won't be good not is
a gummy smile. Something youcan't miss when you see your
picture. Don't put up withfeeling self conscious. We offer
complimentary aestheticconsultations to discuss your


Meg O'Neill (17:07):
and they used you can you can show I don't know if
the camera will pick it up butit won't guys it was like it for
those of you watching it waslike a she was it was an old
photo I don't know where theyfound this photo. But they've
this person has found a photo ofme screenshotted just my mouth
and you guys know I have a hugesmile. I have a very gummy

smile. You can see my gums youcan see my whole fucking mouth I
have a huge mouth when I smile.
And this woman has screenshottedthat and then basically said if
you feel self conscious aboutthis when you look in the mirror
right Come in come in have itfixed. And then I'm going to add
my bestie Christian gray on ashout out to

Jacob O'Neill (17:51):
Christian dot Graham

Meg O'Neill (17:53):
i i sent her and I was like What the actual fuck?
Because I immediately messagedthis woman and just said hey,
because you said oh maybe shegot the photo from someone
else's something so I just saidhey, where it Where did you
Where did you get access to thisimage and your latest post she
didn't write back. Kristencommented on the photo. This

woman has a beautiful and thenthe woman wrote back saying yes,
she has a beautiful contagioussmile but basically was bullied
for it in school. That he'slike, this woman is pretending
I'm a client of hers. This womanis pretending she knows me and
it's clearly an image of me.
It's so fucked up. It's justlike on so many levels it's so

fucked up. And I know like it'ssorry
you're cycling back when we sayeverything does happen for us
and every like, I know this

Jacob O'Neill (18:50):
21 year old Maggie come through this is just
like like, what

Meg O'Neill (18:54):
the fuck of course that happened. After I was
already just in like deepcontemplation and already
feeling like the fire of this oflike, what we have as women
contend with in terms of beautystandards, and like, it wasn't I
like I like at the cafe. I waslike, What the fuck? And then I
got in my car and I had a bigcry. And it wasn't even me

crying about my smile, because Ifucking love my smile. It's like
the thing I'm complimented on

Unknown (19:22):
the florist.

Meg O'Neill (19:25):
Or it was just it was even interesting last week
when I was having a day where Ijust felt like at a woman
comment on my story being like,Ah, you look so you like so
radiant and so beautiful. And Imessaged back being like, hey, I
really needed that today. Thankyou like that. That meant a lot.
And then she said to me, everytime I look at your smile, I

just think that is the world'sbest smile or like that the
world's a better place for thatsmile.

Unknown (19:53):
And it's just so

Meg O'Neill (19:56):
you know, interest is so so I wasn't I know that
there's is one of my my smile mymouth my gummy smile makes me
such a radiant being right andwhat was really what I felt such
a great for yesterday when I wasin the car was just again like

Unknown (20:15):
the like how we are what word am I looking for

Meg O'Neill (20:26):
I like fucking hypnotized into believing
there's constantly somethingwrong in our bodies and
something to be fixed and like Iforever will love this card from
my teacher lay them on and

Unknown (20:41):
shout out to Leila

Meg O'Neill (21:02):
I heard her say years ago in the training I was
in with her and she said wedon't have to burn witches
anymore we just eat women ateight themselves
I truly believe that like we seethat and this is just like being

so illuminated for me in thelast week how like we are living
in this culture if you know I'mall women do whatever the fuck
you want but it is true thatlike we are living in a culture
which is constantlycommunicating to women that
there is something like thatthey should hate themselves that

they should hate the way theylook that there's something
wrong that there's something tofix that they're not allowed
love something and it till itlooks like a fucking replica of
perfection and that is just likeconstantly holding women back

Unknown (22:03):
their power and like their

Meg O'Neill (22:07):
true is and feeling okay and it is it's like I just
forever will love that quotelike we don't have to burn
witches anymore. We just teachwomen how to hate themselves
like we used to burn witchesbecause we wish the world was
threatened by the power theyweren't witches they were women

they were powerful women and youburn witches because they were a
threat um so women can be athreat women in their power
women who love themselves womenwho radiate the threatening to
our culture and so you don'twant a threatening woman you

just create this like story thatthere is that there is always
something to be fixed there issomething broken and I'm just so
I didn't even know it ever beatwant to be a voice for this but
like yeah, this is just feelingso real for me right now. And

like again, I want to say if youwant to go get injectables if
you want to go do your thing godo your thing. But like do not
tell this woman literally took aphoto of me I don't want to fix
my fucking gummy smile. Right?
And she's basically sayinganyone who has this you should
feel self conscious about this.
Like no do not let like and thislast week has really taught me

where it will show me where Iwas buying into that story and
I'm so of the belief now. Irefuse to let the world tell me
something is broken in me Irefuse to let the world tell me
something is not beautiful orlike I can't take up space
because ain't getting older orlike

Unknown (24:11):
there's just grief I feel for women oh gosh

I love you.

Jacob O'Neill (24:41):
I love you. I totally understand the the
feeling of grief not just foryourself. I know that's been a
feeling that I've I've felt whenyou know I'm deeply committed
and deeply connected to my work,but I have no idea what it's
like to feel that way. aroundthis topic, like as a man, it

doesn't, it doesn't register asas much, or if at all, really,
like, I've never had thosefeelings. So for you to, to be a
stand for that and to speak onbehalf of not just yourself, but
the collective, the women, andlike knowing that we're bringing
a child into the world, andwe're going to be nurturing and
guiding that child, and exposingthat child to, to life, like,

I'm really clear on, on whatstories I want. I want that
child to be told,

Meg O'Neill (25:33):
oh my gosh, that that really came through for me
today. And like, you know,whether no matter what gender a
child is, I feel it's a girl.
But just like feeling into, I donot want our future daughters to
believe, to constantly believethere is something wrong with
the way God created them like,and the way they have been

designed to take up space in theworld or like to feel like they
have to look a different way tobe valuable. Like, because
that's the piece that's sorry,the piece. Right? Well, that's
the piece I'm feeling from thepressure of that story. That's
what I feel in my own body of I,if I would have a whatever the

fuck, you'd get to fix a gummysmile. If I was to have that, if
I was to believe that story andlet that story in. It would be I
would be a more valuable,desirable woman, if I had that.
Right. And maybe somebody thatyou know, you'd feel better

about yourself. But there is Icover my grades. Yes, it makes
me feel better. But there's alsounderneath that a part of me,
that feels people would value medifferently. If I was to have,
you know, a head of fully grayhair at 30 something. Like,
that's the fucking truth. Ithink we like hide behind and

again, as paralegals doesn'twant to offend anyone. But like,
I actually want to call bullshiton I just makes me feel good.
Yes, you could feel good withhaving whatever it is. But
underneath that feeling good isalso the motherfucking story
that you've been sold, that youare less valuable with wrinkles,

you are less valuable withwhatever the fuck it is.

Unknown (27:39):
And I think it's a woman that was just like, so.

Meg O'Neill (27:44):
It's so heartbreaking to feel that. And
I also feel like a woman that ismaybe less affected by that than
other women like I'm not, I'mnot I don't follow celebrities.
I don't like I'm not in theworld where, you know, beauty is
valued. So beauty in a in a, ina very aesthetic. Conventional

sense is valued really deeply. Idon't I don't run in a lot of
those circles. So I'm like, itjust breaks my heart to just
feel how many women are walkingthrough life. Feeling this and
having this story determined somuch of how they're living. And

Jacob O'Neill (28:27):
for their true radiance to be like deeply
suppressed? Yes. Like,

Meg O'Neill (28:31):
that's the Yeah, sorry.

Jacob O'Neill (28:36):
You started saying a few of those things
that you said I was glad to sayto

Unknown (28:42):
you. This is like, I also

Jacob O'Neill (28:45):
can't say because it's, you're the one that you
have. It has to be you.

Meg O'Neill (28:49):
I think it's so easy for a man to say don't get
Botox or don't do this and don'tdo that. And,

Unknown (28:54):
you know, I

Meg O'Neill (28:57):
you know, there have even been moments for me
I'd like where I'm like, oh mygod, what would it be like, if
our talks were like, I'm feelinginsecure about this, you're just
gonna say, you're under bucksseek Me as a face and I wouldn't
have to feel this feeling. ButI'm a woman that's consciously
choosing to feel the feeling ofmy face changing and having to
be with that. Yeah, and I alsothink it's our and you're going

to take it somewhere totallydifferent. And I want you to
come back to radians, but it's afear of death. It's a fear of
like, I'm still going to talkabout this last week. And for
those of you that haven'tlistened to the episode, it's so
good. We speak about like,feminine shamanism and the truth
of the feminine and like, she'stalking about the feminine being
destructive and like when we'reavoiding the feminine, we're

avoiding, like death anddecomposition, like we are here
to live and like a body decaysin a way to nature. You can't
just hold a flower in fullbloom. Remember, the flower
ties, right and like we aretrying to totally avoid the

Unknown (30:09):
natural cycle of life.

Meg O'Neill (30:13):
And which simultaneously like part of what
makesit's so emotional. But part of
what makes a flower so beautifulis that it's not just like, it's

like a blessing to witness theflower. And all the stages of a
flower is like beautiful, youknow, the decomposing rose
there, like, it's all beautiful,and

Jacob O'Neill (30:49):
which then returns to the earth and then
feeds the next generation. Yes,and

Meg O'Neill (30:53):
we as our culture, just like celebrate, and there's
a whole year like that made andthat youthfulness and it's like,
where then were like, we put somuch value in that. And so then
we train as soon as we mightfeel we're passing that at the
stage, we don't give value inour culture to the elder to, you

know, to the to the mother, thecrone energy. So as soon as we
feel like we're passing that themaid and beauty that the youth
will be at, it's like, how thefuck do I keep myself there,
because I don't want to go on tothis next stage, I won't be
valued in this next stage, Iwon't be celebrated in this next

Unknown (31:31):
stage. And

Meg O'Neill (31:34):
if we are buying into the story that culture is
teaching us that's true, we'regoing to believe that and it's
going to feel that way. But itdoesn't have to be that way.
Like I am choosing to be a womanand this is going to be an
active fucking practice. Andthis has come through so strong,
that refuses to believe that,like refuses to believe that

refuses to believe that my valueis going to decline. as I age,
my value is going to decline,the more wrinkles I have, like,
no. And I think even before youwere talking about radiance, and
I think that's something thatyou know, is so important a
piece here because beauty is notjust the aesthetic structure of

your face. Or your body likebeauty is what radiates through
your body. Now you're looking atme right now it's really
beautiful. Like beauty is thatyour body is the vessel that

holds holds that beauty.

Unknown (32:44):
And he's just makes that like radiating possible.

Jacob O'Neill (32:49):
And it's aliveness. It's radiating
aliveness, the feminine is is ifthe feminine is like the death,
it has to be life as well. Yeah.
Your body yeah, like the beautyis, is radiated aliveness. And
if there isn't, radiance comingthrough you and you have to
present a certain way andmanipulate yourself to feel that

or to present as that or hold onto some way that you think you
need to look you. You completelydeny the essence of who you are.
Yes. And that's a feeling.

Meg O'Neill (33:26):
I don't know for me, like if I got to choose to
be the most perfectly lookingmore men hysterically, or a
woman that radiates beauty, thetruly radiant woman, I would
always choose the radiant woman.
And yet still, I am someonelike, and that's why this last
few weeks has been a bitconfronting to be like, Oh, I
can still feel the part of methat thinks I need to choose

that things need to be that. Andlike, I've always imagined
myself as like, a 70 year oldwoman that's like, wrinkly and
like long gray hair and like,I'm I can I can in

Jacob O'Neill (34:01):
lingerie I can feel myself

Meg O'Neill (34:03):
is that and it's also really confronting to
be like, I can't just click myfeet. Like, I've got to be I've
got to meet every story thattells me it's not okay to be
that along the way. And like I'mgoing to be the 40 year old

woman and 50 year old six yearold woman that's like going into
those wrinkles and like, youknow, becoming that as well and
that feels scary. And it feelsscary as again as a woman that's
choosing to embrace that in away. It is very confronting in
an age where a lot of women getBotox and a lot of women like I

am potentially going to be oneof few women that in a space I'm
with lots of other women. I'm Icould be the only one with

Unknown (35:04):
Right? And so yeah, there's, there's, there's a lot
to this compensation.

Jacob O'Neill (35:11):
I'm excited by that I'm excited to meet. I
don't think we came like, Ioften wonder, you know, what did
we come here for like what, youknow, I've contemplated a lot.
And I'm like, I feel like, youknow, in my opinion, we're here
to set the record straight inthe way that we hold ourselves
in the way that we journey everystep of the path, like every
step of the path, like thisjourney that we take. And it's

like you said to be the 70 yearold, wise woman, like medicine
woman like to weave with storiesfor, with stories that go on and
on and on stories behind youreyes, that when people look into
you, they're like, they'relooking into infinite Well, of
feminine wisdom, that doesn'tjust, you don't just get that

added 70 That just doesn't turnon. And you all of a sudden
become this deeply, deeply. Likethe steward of the world. Now
you get that through walkingevery fucking step. And if every
step that you've taken is to tryand hold on to something, and
look a certain way, you've spentall of your time trying to be
something and layering yourselfin things that aren't who you

truly fucking are. Yeah, andthis is why I believe, you know,
we've been so drawn to certaincultures that really celebrate
the, the elders, and reallycelebrate the lineage and the
cotton the ancient pneus oftheir culture. And yeah, for
lack of better words, I thinkthe Western world has been, has
been indoctrinated into thisidea that there isn't value

outside of these very specificparameters. Yes. Completely.
Yeah. Which is, you know, what,you're what you're currently
going through there. Letting goof all that bullshit and
standing up and being a standfor it. So if I can excited the
way you just spoke, then it waspoetry the way you just spoke,
it was like, on behalf of thatwas on behalf of Mother Mother
Earth the way you were speaking,talking about death and

decomposition in life growing,but coming through, like,
that's, that's truth. And it's,you know, it's real. And and
people need to hear that. Andwomen need to hear that, from a
woman not from a man. They needto hear it from a woman that's
going through it. They need toYeah, this is, I wouldn't, I
wouldn't have you speak onanything else. And I

Meg O'Neill (37:22):
think this is like a, I don't know, I haven't heard
a lot of women talk about. Ihaven't heard, I've haven't seen
a lot of conversations like thisand or just like, I've seen
conversations around, like,don't use filters, all of the,
like, the beauty standards of atnight, I think I think it is,
and this is why all of thesethings unfolded for me to have

this conversation is that weneed more conversations where
women and vulnerably sharingwhat it's like to be with the
process of aging, in a culturethat celebrates you if like, we
need more, and potentiallybecause they're out there, I'm
just at a stage of life alsowhere I'm, you know, meeting

that, and even, you know, my notknowing what, not that this is a
fear of mine, but like I'mgrowing a baby, I'm like, you
know, maybe I'll look even moretight. Like, I don't know,
there's just like lots of I'm inan unknown state of life as
well. And I just think theseconversations are so important.
So women don't feel so alone inthe heaviness of that story and

the heaviness of the narrativethat's being fed to them day
after day after day. And again,if you want to go out in the
world, and, you know, Botox andfiller and do all of these
things, I'm not. I'm not sayingthere's you shouldn't. Right,
but I'm also saying look at thestory underneath that. There's a
fucking story underneath that.
Yeah, and it's not just becauseit feels

Jacob O'Neill (38:53):
it's easy to use that that statement. Yeah. Yeah.
Rather than dig deeper. Yeah,this is this is this is like,
this is fucking shadow work.
Yeah, yeah. Going in, and liketaking a real good, hard look at
why you're doing the things thatyou're doing. And then choosing
to and then making a decisionfrom that depth of awareness.
Totally. Just kind of like it,you do that? You do that a lot.

Which means that you have tofeel a lot. And I would argue
that not not all of it's yours.

Meg O'Neill (39:25):
that's been very clear for me in this experience.
Like the great when I saw thatwoman screenshotting me I'm
like, I was crying. I wasn'tcrying for me. I wasn't crying
to me. I was crying for all thewomen that believed that all the
women that are sold a photo likean image that says like, you

know when the fuck if we'venever told a gummy smile is
wrong or bad or needs to befixed. We never fucking think
there was something to be fixed.
And I was even at thehairdresser today getting my
hair washed. The two womenbeside me were going I'm gonna
go get a lip flip on my Todaycuz I hate my gummy smile. And
they had this huge conversationabout how much they hated their
gummy smiles. And I was justlike, Who the fuck told you

this, like, the way that's,that's, that's the painful
thing. The like innately,there's nothing wrong with that
innately a gummy smile does notneed fixing. If we were to own
that, and you know, that doesn'thave to be something that needs

that is broken. And that's,that's the painful thing. That's
the painful thing. And, again, Idon't have a solution to this.
And for any woman that'schoosing to be with the process
of aging, right? I don't thinkthat's going to be a comfortable
process for any woman. I thinkthere is beauty in it. And I

think there is, you know, beautyin our body changing in beauty.
But to get to the place where wecan find beauty in our gray
hair, find beauty in ourwrinkles. That's not easy. Just
like a medicine journey isn'teasy. Just like you know, being
with any process of death anddecay is not easy. But I also
think that's the medicinejourney of stepping into mother

stepping into Karuna energy likethese, these different state
there's a rite of motherfuckingpassage and house. how

Unknown (41:20):
society is so scared of being initiated terrifies so
terrified of death. And likechange.

Meg O'Neill (41:31):
Because this is if we're like, taking this into the
macro, this is aging is a fearof death and a fear of death is
a fear of change is a fear of

Jacob O'Neill (41:41):
stages of life,

Meg O'Neill (41:42):
who will I become through this? Right? The holding
on? Like, where can we releasethe grip and relax into where
life is trying to take us? Withour body? Yeah, with the way we
look. And again, I repeat thatI'm not saying that's gonna be

I'm not just saying like, havewrinkles and let yourself age
and be happy about it. Look inthe mirror and be like, Look at
my beautiful face like Northfeel and just like, what I mean
maybe three feel feel the partof you that's like, What the
fuck, I want to contract I wantto shrivel I want to be small, I
don't want to be seen.

Jacob O'Neill (42:24):
Feel the feel the ache, feel the loss, feel the
grief feel all of that, likethat's part of it is is is the
letting go? Yeah. And seeingthat like feeling like hearing
all of those things that you'veshared, like there is like,
yeah, your hair is turning gray.
Yeah, great. That's it, that's ajourney that you're going on,
that your face will slowly startto wrinkle. And that'll happen.

And that's that, it's not thatyou have to be okay with it
straightaway. It's that you haveto feel all the things that tell
you that that's not okay. Andthen become to a place where you
can get to the point whereyou're like, This is who I am,
or who I am is beautiful. Andwhat moves through me when I
accept myself deeply for who Iam. That is the that's when the

radiance comes online. That'swhen you start to move and
unfurl and reflect like thenatural world. Yes,

Meg O'Neill (43:18):
when a woman is caught in that story of okay, I
need to perfect and change anddo all these things so that I
can be beautiful, that I believethat blocks a woman's natural
radiance in coming through.
Right, it's trying to manipulateourselves to look a certain way
so that we can feel beautiful.

Right? And you know, it is theresting into our feminine
essence the resting into anopening to who were here to be
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um, I was watching the Barbiemovie I hadn't ever watched
until the other day and watchedit just here on an afternoon
filter tide this week.

Jacob O'Neill (45:31):
You've been, you've been sizing up this huge
emotional release, you'reprobably going to feel your tie
before this, you will hop offthis podcast, I'll

Meg O'Neill (45:38):
be like, let's go to prison. Yeah, and

Jacob O'Neill (45:40):
I'm like, yeah, we've been going through the you
know, making sure that you feelchosen and repolarizing make
sure everything's you know, it'sjust been going on. And I'm
gonna take you to Brisbane tosee a band and before this
podcast are more tired, they'llbe able to go after this, you're
gonna be bouncing off the walls,you're gonna be so happy because
you felt what you need to feel.
Because you're here to be aleader you're here to if I can

speak on behalf of the women whodon't have that voice yet that
haven't connected to that partof them and like, that's who the
fuck you are. You're here totake the arrows. You're here to
upset people. You're here toupset the applecart. You're here
to fucking right the wrongs thathave been written by probably
men from this whole system, andit's created a fuckery and our

souls won't let it but will notlet us stand idle or standby or
choose some other mediocre orfucking miscellaneous path just
to be able to pay the bills weweren't would go go go down in
the fucking blaze of glory. Wewould rather I would rather die
in the pursuit of truth and livea lie. And I will not do that.
And I feel that deep down you'rethe reason that I live like

this. So anything that you don'tfucking anytime you don't
fucking remember that it's, youknow, you normally end up tired
and in resistance and all yougotta do is fucking bring this
alright. Okay. Brother

Meg O'Neill (47:06):
I was watching the Barbie movie the other day. And
there's this moment where MargotRobbie as Barbie, maybe people
have read. I'm just gonna sayone moment that I love from that
movie. That Margot Robbie asBarbie has like come out into
the real world and she's sittingat the bus stop and only in
Barbie world is there likebeautiful, perfect women. And

she's sitting at this bus stopBarbie and she looks over and
there's this old woman like thisthis 78 year old woman and she
Margot Robbie just looks over toher and she goes you're so
beautiful. And I just for good.
I just been fit like there waslike just such a truth to that

like, like that. Like yes, thereis like such beauty in allowing
that process and yeah, theradiance that comes with just
leaving. And yeah, that was justso moved by that moment. Yeah,

and I think it's so we can all Ithink as women there's something
else I want to come back to thatyou said to me the other day
too, but as women I think we wecan feel the fucking difference.
You know the difference betweena woman that might not be
conventionally beautiful shemight have a gummy fucking

smile. Maybe our eyebrows aren'tin line maybe? I don't know
what's something else for you.
Maybe she's got we had textedskit I don't know like, but but
she is taking up space and youcan feel her and the world can
feel right. Versus a woman thatis perfect looking. But you

can't feel isn't taking upenergetic space for you to feel
like our world teaches us bethat woman. Be that woman that
looks perfect. That's what valueis. That's That's what you
should want to be. No, we'rebeing fucking lied to be the
woman. Our goal should be thewoman that wants to be fucking

felt by life wants to be felt bythe world. Like is freely
unapologetically taking up spaceand letting the world like meet
her and feel her like that'swhat's desirable to a man that's
what's desirable to or are in adeep man a conscious man like
yes He can appreciate beauty andperfection but if that if that

doesn't come with being able tofeel no

Jacob O'Neill (49:47):
do you agree?
Yeah, fucking I I'm I probablybased on the fact that I do. I
feel my way through the world. Idon't like walk up and touch
people without consent ofcourse. But um If I if I can see
a woman that presents associetally pretty or beautiful
or hot, and I can be completelyand utterly neutral toward her,

based on my body, my body Mybody came I can I can register
our USA societally beautiful,but I don't feel anything. Yeah.
And I'm not feeling that. Butthen there's other times where
I'm drawn to I can feel themagnetic pull of a feminine like
drawing me and I'm like, I needto, like, I need to go and talk
to them. It happened the otherday on the beach, when I, there

was a woman with a dog and shewould have had it she was
pregnant. It's just like,talking. I'm like, Oh my God,
you're so fucking beautiful. Didyou say that? No. That was just
like feeling that was like us. Iwas like, I want to talk. I want
to, I want to do things for you.
Be near you. And I think thatthat's, that is the way that the
feminine moves the world, thefeminine leadership. This is you

know what you're speaking to,it's not about saying fuck the
Man, fuck man, or I'm going topresent as this pretty beautiful
thing that looks this certainway to get what I want. Yeah,
it's the feminine moves themasculine through her deep
truth. Yes.

Meg O'Neill (51:10):
And adorn yourself.
And like, if you want to dothings that make you feel like,
I like wearing nice things. AndI do feel great when I have my
hair done. And all of thesethings, even the other day when
I wasn't feeling great. And thenyou bought me clothes, and I did
my makeup and my hair. And I waslike, I feel I feel really sexy.
Like, I'm not denying that theselike, external things can allow
us to feel a certain way andgive us permission to open and

offer more of our radiant.
That's self

Jacob O'Neill (51:36):
care and self expression, that that's the key
there that I'm hearing. It'slike self care and adorning and
yeah, and I'm almost likecreating these offerings to, you
know, in service to, you know,the altar. That is your body's
like, I'm gonna adorn you inthis beautiful, matching knit
outfit. I'm gonna wear thesematching knits. I'm gonna Yeah,
I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm going toYeah, look after myself. Yes,

that is a completely differentthing to I need to change the
way that I look. Because whatthe way that I look isn't right.

Meg O'Neill (52:07):
And then just one other piece I want to bring was
the other day when I was in thethroes of just feeling insecure.
And I said to you aren't. Imean, like that. I'm a friend
Kristen and taking a video and Iwas like, I was sharing with you
how I felt insecure. And I wasjust a bit like, not feeling
good about myself. And I waslike, you know, and I was just

trying to I was letting you in,on like, what was alive for me.
I was just like, I just gonna,this feels really vulnerable.
And I'm gonna reveal what's beenwhat I've been moving through.
And I was like, you know, thatvideo like Kristin tagged us and
I looked at that and I was like,I really don't like the way I
look. And you just looked at meand you were like and there was

so much genuine genuineness tothe innocence it was such
innocence and genuineness andyou're like,

Unknown (52:57):
I looked at that really thought he looks so beautiful
like my wife is so beautiful

Meg O'Neill (53:11):
and I think that's why it's like we as women need
to realize it's a fucking lie.
Well, we've been sold like whatwe've been taught to believe is
we need to be or what we've beentaught to believe like in that
moment my hair is frizzy. And Ithink even though I love my
smile I think my I felt like mysmile my somebody looked weird.
And you're like I love that youhave so beautiful and so yeah, I

just think that's an importantpiece to bring to the
conversation that you know ourown insecurities again with the
lip the with the lady call itthe gummy smile thing. I've been
told my beautiful friend who wasin conversation with at the
markets and I called her thatafternoon to you won't believe

after her conversation today.
And she was like, What if peopletold asked me to write the best
smiles have ever seen yourswould be top five top three. And
it's like so everything'sfucking subjective or objective

Jacob O'Neill (54:18):
subjective I think is like I don't actually
know I think it's subjective.

Unknown (54:22):
Don't correct listen.

Meg O'Neill (54:25):
Everything's subjective. Yeah, like, who gets
to fucking say that's beautifuland that's not Yeah. Like Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

Jacob O'Neill (54:42):
I think you're most beautiful when you give
life when you when you give lifefull permission to flow through

Meg O'Neill (54:49):
And I and I feel that in myself and I also when I
witness other women, the mostbeautiful women I feel a wit
like Like before talking aboutlike elders and that Crona
energy. I like love the work ofJane Hardwick callings. And I

got to be in, you know, a spacelast year for like a pregnancy
and birth workshop. And she'd bea woman in her 60s gray hair.
She's wearing this t shirt thatsays, revolutionary woman on it.
She's just like, badass. Like,she swears she was a she was a
midwife for years. And thenlike, got out of the system, and

is just like, phenomenal andteaches on rites of passage and
the feminine and feminineshamanism. And I walked out of
that space. And I literally saidto the women I was with, like,
I've never seen a more beautifulman. And that was so that was
actually one of the things thathit me most from that day to be
like, it was so refreshing tosee a woman with the braincells.

And he went to look around thatspace. And, you know, it's a
very particular group of women.
But like, you know, there werethere were women that which do
aging, you know, women in their30s 40s 50s. And they were
wrinkles. And there was, youknow, different bodies. And
there was, you know, mothersholding babies and breastfeeding
and like, there was just likethe full spectrum of woman in

its physicality. Not just itsemotion, but its physicality.
And yeah, I just moved me somuch being in that workshop to
be like, like, I want to be likethat. I want to be that woman in
a sea of like, you know,youthfulness, youthfulness, I
want to be the woman that peoplelike for freshed by and yeah,

and then I had Jane on on insidefull spectrum woman and again, I
just just like I yeah, I respectand love that woman so much and
what she stands for.

Jacob O'Neill (56:58):
Just imagine what it's like it's 70 in your like,
in your you're in full spectrumwoman, and you've got hundreds
of women sitting on a call withyou're sitting in a room with
you. He was like to be 70 andhave like your daughters and the
nieces sitting around you andyou're like sharing deep wisdom
because you chose to live inalignment with the truth. You

chose to let go of any storiesand feel the losses that you
needed to feel and embrace thenthe next chapter is imagine what
it's like. That's 50 that's 40years time I love imagine what
it's like after a lifetime offeeling this, this and treenode
traversing these these deepmoments of feeling imagine

what's going to be imagine whatit's going to be like, you're
going to be able to impart andshare with the world through a
devotion to your your truth.
Like that's fucking like that,to me is going to be Yeah, I
look forward to I look forwardto the journey. And the moment
that I get to. I'll probably bein the kitchen helping out or
doing something. I'll be able tobe there or was it just women


Meg O'Neill (58:03):
I'm not sure.

Jacob O'Neill (58:05):
Sure. Do you like going in zooming out? That

Meg O'Neill (58:09):
scares me? That scares me at all. Like, Oh, God.
That's what I'm gonna be doingwhen I'm 70 I definitely know
how I want to feel when I'm 70 Iknow there's gonna be
grandchildren and like, butyeah, I haven't I don't I
probably don't take my workoutor like my, my vision out to
that to that far. But I don'tknow, it's I think a

conversation like this widens mywork and widens my vision and
like why would I really want tobe in conversation around?

Jacob O'Neill (58:42):
I'm so excited for you.

Meg O'Neill (58:44):
Thank you. I wanted to I wanted to say something and
I don't remember what it was.
No, that is what we we've beentold a valuable woman is a woman
that looks aesthetically acertain way a valuable woman is
a woman that let's live lifelike let's life moves through
her and is consistently sayingyes to the process of like life

and death and rebirth and decayand all of it like she's letting
she's allowing life to make himmore of her. Like she's letting
life evolve her and mold herlike that's that's a that's a

radiant beautiful, valuablewoman. She's not every woman is
fucking valuable, but I am sureyou get the essence of what I'm
saying here like can wecelebrate that

Unknown (59:40):
that is that is true value.

Jacob O'Neill (59:44):
That is to me that what you're talking about
is like that, that surrender.
I'm surrendering to life. Yeah.
And in surrendering to life, Imust embrace these cycles of
death and rebirth that allow meto become more of the woman
More, more, not more of a womanbut more of I get to experience
more of what more of thespectrum of woman.

Unknown (01:00:08):

Jacob O'Neill (01:00:11):
I'm excited.

Unknown (01:00:12):
I love you THIS HAS BEEN

Jacob O'Neill (01:00:14):
Do you know how important your work is for the
world? Do you understand that?
Yeah, do you do you forgetsometimes as well? Like this is
like this, like this isrevolutionary like these
conversations you know this. Thepeople that listen to this are
going to be deeply moved and youknow this this isn't just for
you and just filled with womennow is for our you know, our
baby that's in your belly.

Imagine what she's alreadygetting to feel and receive from
you. Because you're choosing todo this. Imagine how incredible
it's going to be like stewardthe next generation. Lucky away.

Meg O'Neill (01:00:53):
I love you so much of the best. Thanks for being
here for this teary, emotional.
I thought it was gonna get waymore fiery. It was just like me
moving through the depths of

Jacob O'Neill (01:01:04):
the fires coming.

Unknown (01:01:06):
Diving, go fill the fire. Yes. Yeah, I just I think
the grief is what is underneaththat to

Jacob O'Neill (01:01:16):
one of the boot I've been really wrapped up in
grief, not sorry. I've beenreally immersing myself in the
topic of grief. And they saythat the only true beauty only
comes from grief, which is thefeeling of loss, which is the
feeling of letting go. Which isthe feeling of like, for me it's

like a life well lived is theone that is had grief, of grief
woven into it and not avoidedand like you said, the that idea
of being you know, this wholebeing rooted in a fear of death
means that we're also avoidinggrief. Yeah, and when you
grieve, like you're right,you're you're just like beaming
right now your eyes, clear yoursmile is big. Your heart is open

your belly, everything I canfeel I can feel you can feel
your presence right now. And itmakes me want to make sure to go
and do better makes you want tolive my life in in more deeply
connected to the truth. Likeit's inspiring my love. So thank
you for choosing to grieve andreveal the deeper beauty that is

always there.

Unknown (01:02:24):
I love you. Thanks for holding me and being a part of
life's a trip Hades. Yeah. Wild.

Meg O'Neill (01:02:32):
I'm doing it with you. I love doing it with you
guys. We love you and appreciateyou. And if this conversation
moves you come find me the DMSI'd love to continue it in some
way, shape or form. Yeah,

Jacob O'Neill (01:02:47):
this is an ongoing conversation. This is
something that I'm reallyexcited to support you in
standing for. And we'll be herefor all of the arrows and all of
the challenges and all of thethings that come because this is
this is what I'm devoted to Ilove this energy. I'm here for
you. Let's fucking go.

Meg O'Neill (01:03:02):
And one more, one more request if you buy this
conversation, wherever youlisten to the podcast, whether
it's on YouTube, or Apple orwherever, wherever we would love
you to subscribe and review.
This just helps theseconversations. please expand out
especially because I'm sensitiveand shut up and on Instagram.

Jacob O'Neill (01:03:24):
Get the word out there for us. We would really
appreciate it. Oh, you would.

Unknown (01:03:27):
We love you. We'll

Meg O'Neill (01:03:28):
see you next week.

Jacob O'Neill (01:03:29):
Bless Uplus up.
Peace. Yo, yo, yo, thank you somuch for tuning in to another
episode of Sex love andeverything in between. Now if
you'd like to stay connectedwith Megan i You can head on
over to Instagram and follow meat the Jacob O'Neill and where
can people find you lover

Meg O'Neill (01:03:48):
at the dot mag dot o amazing

Jacob O'Neill (01:03:53):
and yeah guys check out the show notes for all
other information in regards towhat we've got coming up. And
yeah, we're super super gratefulthat you guys for taking the
time to listen in to thispodcast. If you do have any
topics or any questions, like Isaid, hit us up on Instagram and
we'll see what we can do. Apartfrom that have a beautiful,
beautiful rest of your day.
Thanks for being here. Big Love
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