June 16, 2025 • 45 mins
What makes someone a powerful communicator? According to Ron Reich, it's not the title, the slides, or the flashy speeches; it’s relationships, self-awareness, and the willingness to grow.
With 30 years of experience in leadership development, corporate training, and coaching across industries like banking, tech, and pharma, Ron brings a grounded, human-first perspective to communication. In this episode, we dive into what truly builds confidence, not just in public speaking, but in everyday leadership.
Ron’s secret weapon? A relentless commitment to learning. He’s read over 400 leadership books (yes, really) and shares how the simple habit of reading just ten pages a day transformed his communication, leadership, and credibility.
You’ll hear Ron’s take on the “Platinum Rule,” why emotional intelligence trumps technical skill, and how the best communicators aren’t always the loudest, they’re the ones who listen with their eyes, ears, and heart.
What You’ll Learn:
- How self-awareness helps you lead and speak with confidence
- Why asking for help makes you a stronger communicator
- How to overcome imposter syndrome through preparation and practice
- The difference between communication and connection, and how to bridge it
- Why leadership development never ends (and shouldn’t)
Whether you're stepping into leadership for the first time or just trying to sound less awkward in meetings, this conversation will give you the tools and perspective to speak up with confidence and actually be heard.
Connect with Ron Reich:
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/inron-reich7809829
Instagram: instagram.com/leadership_rlb/
Grab your free eBook: Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers & How to Overcome Them
Explore the Formula for Public Speaking: timnewmanspeaks.com
Want to be a guest on Speaking With Confidence? Send Tim Newman a message on PodMatch
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tim (00:08):
Welcome to Speaking with Conference, the podcast
dedicated to helping you unlockthe power of effective public
speaking.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on your
journey to becoming a powerfulcommunicator.
I want to thank each and everyone of you for your support.
It truly means the world to me.
If you have questions or if youwant something covered on the
podcast, just send me a message.
(00:29):
Please visit timnewmanspeakscomto get your free ebook the Top
21 Challenges for PublicSpeakers and how to Overcome
them.
Today's guest is Ron Reich.
Ron has 30 years of trainingand development in consulting
experience.
Is Ron Reich?
Ron has 30 years of trainingand development in consulting
experience.
His background is broad-based,having worked for some major
organizations such as Toshiba,the Chubb Corporation and
(00:57):
several pharmaceutical companies.
He's done consulting work inmany industries, including
medical assisted livingfacilities, manufacturing
high-tech retail pharmaceuticalsand banking.
The majority of his workthrough these years has focused
on leadership and managementdevelopment, along with
corporate training andorganizational development and
coaching at all levels.
Ron's philosophy aboutleadership is quite simple it's
(01:19):
about the leader's colleaguesand how the leader can help get
them where the team needs to go,by building long-lasting and
sustainable relationships.
Ron believes no one graduatesfrom leadership school.
Everything needs to be a workin progress, always learning and
growing.
Ron, welcome to the show.
Ron (01:36):
Tim, thank you.
It's good to be here.
I'm really, really excited tohave the chance to talk with you
.
Tim (01:41):
Yeah, I think we're going to have a great conversation.
You know, in our pre-show talk,you know we're on the same page
and you know one of the thingsyou know, there's really two
things that stuck out about youfor me.
One is about the relationships,but two, what I want to start
talking about first is reallythe amount of reading that you
(02:01):
do.
You do a ton of reading, which,to me, I love, but young
professionals today, at least inmy experience, really don't
like to read, don't read nearlyas much as we do.
And how important do you thinkreading is, not just in terms of
(02:22):
our own personal development,but in terms of improving our
communication skills?
Ron (02:27):
Tim, I'm going to go all the way back and I'll share with
you.
We may have done this in ourpre-call, I don't remember.
Frankly, the best piece ofbusiness advice I ever got was
from an old boss of mine, apharmaceutical company.
We were talking about my review, my increase and everything was
(02:48):
good.
And I said to him I was likeJoe, I admire David so much, one
of my colleagues.
I said he's so well-rounded injust everything else.
And Joe just said to me, ron.
He said you are really good atwhat you do.
He said you can get a lotbetter.
And what I want you to startdoing is to read.
(03:08):
And that's one of the reasonsDavid is so good.
If you can read 10 pages a day,five, six days a week, you have
no clue what's going to happen.
And in the 23, 24 years whateverTim from then, I've read over
400 leadership books.
Tying it into how it makes adifference.
(03:31):
Number one my confidence hasgone up enormously because I
just have so much more knowledgeat my fingertips.
Equally as important, I can bea resource to people on so many
different levels.
Number one making bookrecommendations.
(03:57):
Number two just pullinginformation from books, sharing
models, sharing information,whatever it might be, and I mean
it's just so true.
I mean, I mean it's just sotrue.
I mean, minutes before we goton the show, I was reading my
latest book.
It's called Beyond the Hammerand it's about vision, the
importance of vision and missionwithin an organization and
(04:17):
communicating with youremployees.
And again, none of theinformation in here is brand new
to me, and that's fine, that'sgood, it shouldn't be, except
it's reinforcing.
It's reinforcing.
It was the greatest piece ofadvice I ever got.
Tim (04:36):
Ron, I completely, 100% agree with what you're saying.
For all those reasons andtrying to get that across to you
know, the younger generationsis is really difficult.
And you know, I read something.
There was a post on LinkedIn afew weeks ago and it was a bunch
of people complaining aboutkids not reading and this, that
and the other thing, and and it.
(04:57):
It instantly aggravated mebecause, yes, I felt the same
way, but we've got to, as theolder generation, have to
convince students or or givethem, um, the younger
professionals, give them reasonsto read, as opposed to just
complaining about it, and andand help them understand the
(05:20):
importance of it and what thatcan do.
Again, not only for yourpersonal development, but your
communication development, yourpersonal relationships, your
business relationships.
All those types of things areneeded and a lot of it comes
from reading.
You know when we look at ourattention spans and how they
have changed over the years.
(05:40):
Over the years not to go into ahistory lesson, but if you go
back to, you know the 20s, the1920s, because we're in the
2020s, but go back to the 1920sand you know when radio came
online and magazines came onlineand newspapers became way more
popular than they were beforethat.
(06:03):
And then TV came online.
And then you know, I believe itwas the 80s when USA Today was
first published and, ron, youprobably remember this, it was
the first daily newspaper thatwas in color.
Yes, it was.
The articles were shorter,smaller, much more bite-sized
(06:27):
piece of information.
And now move forward to howwe're communicating now.
Most, most younger professionals, get all of their information
from social media.
Think about that.
They're they're they're gettingtheir news from TikTok.
They're getting that.
That, that kind of, is what itis, and they're not actually
reading information.
I mean, they are readinginformation but they're not
(06:50):
reading the right types ofinformation.
Okay, and we've got to reachout to them and get them to
start doing that no doubt, and Imean I think so.
Ron (07:08):
So much of this comes from the instant gratification yeah,
I don't have time.
I don't have time.
And I mean it's amazing to mewhen I, when I make a
recommendation to someone, isthat it's exactly what Joe said
to me.
It's still applicable.
It's just can you read 10 pagesa day?
Can you find the time somehow,some way right to take 15, 20
(07:29):
minutes and just read 10 pages aday?
Right?
And you know, sometimes youknow not always obviously you
can see the white bulb coming onwhere it's like yeah, I could
do that.
I, I can do that.
That, that's, that's no hugedeal.
It it's like yeah, I'm notasking you, you know, re read a
book a week and then and thenwrite a report on it.
(07:50):
You know nothing like that.
Tim (07:52):
Right.
Ron (07:52):
And you know, I mean one of one of the other big things for
me too is that at least it'sbeen my direct experience and I
believe so strongly people whoare well read it just gives you
so much more credibility.
Yeah, and I mean it's, it's sonice to be able to say to a
client, to you know, to a classthat I'm facilitating oh, I
(08:15):
pulled this out of a book that Iread.
You know, this comes from Xbook, you know whatever it might
be.
And people realize, okay, he'sjust not throwing us his opinion
Exactly, and that's critical tome, which goes back to
relationships and solidcommunication, because it's not
(08:35):
my opinion, it's based onresearch, right?
Tim (08:40):
And you know, talk about relationships here for just a
second.
You know, with the age oftechnology and AI and I get it
it's important we have to learnthat stuff, and because we don't
learn it, we're going to be theones left behind.
And understand, though, that Idon't care what industry you're
in, it's always aboutrelationships, it's always about
(09:05):
the connections, it's alwaysabout, you know, building good,
healthy, strong relationships.
That's the bottom line.
Ron (09:11):
That's right.
That's exactly right.
I mean one of the things I loveto do and it's fun, and again
you see light bulbs going on,whether I'm coaching somebody
individually or in a class.
One of the first things Ialways do your role as a leader,
you know put flip charts up ifit's a class, or just ask
(09:34):
somebody what are the majorthings for which you are
responsible from a macroperspective?
They'll write things down andsay what's interesting and we
always come up with there's nextto no technical information on
the list.
Tim (09:50):
It's about people.
Ron (09:51):
It's about people.
Tim (09:54):
Exactly, exactly.
Ron (09:56):
Oh yeah, those things.
Tim (10:00):
How about that?
And so I mean, if we can getone person a day to understand
that and realize that and carrythat on, you know we'll be there
in no time at all.
That's right, you know.
You have to understand that.
But here's another piece tothat, though If we understand
(10:21):
this about people and it's aboutrelationships, we have to know
who we are as individuals, right, and that brings us into the
whole emotional intelligence.
You know that's become abuzzword the last five to ten
years, but you know, when I grewup, it was you better figure
out who you are as an individual.
You know who are you, what areyour values, what do you like,
(10:41):
what are you good at?
Ron (10:42):
That's right.
And, tim, those are the exactthings, truly, that I asked my
clients to do.
Again, whether I'm coachingthem, whether I'm facilitating a
class, you better know thesethings and, equally as important
, in addition to knowing them,you need to be able to
articulate them, because peopleare looking for that and, again,
(11:05):
as I understand it and based onthe reading I've done, the
younger generations are lookingfor that from us.
Hey, hey, hey, who are you?
What are you?
What do you believe in?
And don't throw me a bunch offluff, and if I can't articulate
that clearly, it's a problem,as it should be, because I need
(11:25):
to know myself very, very deeply.
Yeah.
Tim (11:30):
So how can reading help them figure?
Ron (11:32):
that out.
Well, I mean, there are so manydifferent things.
Number one I mean there arebooks that can help you to
determine what your values are,there are exercises, there are
assessments you can use.
I've put together from readingthat I've done, tim, I call it
(11:53):
my 15 thought ponderingquestions, and it is all about
helping an individual to get toknow himself or herself on a
real, deep level, personally,professionally.
And I mean as an example herehow we can use this.
(12:13):
My wife's cousin, jen, was theassistant trainer at a division
two college school.
She was offered I think she wasoffered the head training
position.
She was talking to my wife andsaying oh man, I don't know,
(12:33):
this would be glorious.
I mean, the money is justunbelievable, wayne, and I would
like to buy a house, blah, blah, blah, fine.
And yet she was struggling alittle bit because of the time
commitment.
Lori said to her oh, Jen, don'tworry, ron will be glad to help
you, of course.
I was, of course, right and Imade this longer than I meant to
(12:55):
.
I sent her the thought ponderingquestions and I said to her Jen
, I will be glad to talk to youBefore we do.
You got to answer these Right.
We got on a Zoom call and shewas like, oh my, oh, oh, oh my.
You just had me thinking aboutso many different things here
and I was like, Jen, that's whatit's about is getting to know
(13:18):
yourself.
What's important to you, youknow, I know you love the kids,
you love your husband and yourfamily.
Your career is a part of that.
How can you balance that?
And that's what these questionsare designed to do to help an
individual learn more aboutthemselves and realize okay, it
is really dangerous if I makethis decision in the moment.
Tim (13:42):
Right, exactly, and, and, and you're so right there's you
have to be able to take allthose things in consideration
and you know kind of along thesame lines I'm, I'm, I'm working
with a couple of individualsright now who they have to make
some, some real decisions.
(14:02):
And I say these shouldn't behard decisions, they should be
real, easy decisions, because atthis point in your life, you
should already know for you notfor me, but for you what's right
and what's wrong.
And you know, when we startmaking those types of decisions
(14:25):
for me and I tell them for mewhat other people see as tough
decisions, it's not a toughdecision for me.
It's just because I alreadyknow.
I already know what I believe,I already know who I am.
I already know these things andit's easy to make tough
decisions.
Ron (14:44):
That's right.
When these values andeverything we're talking about
are so deeply ingrained, it'sjust instinctual and it's not a
gut decision.
It's a decision based on valueswho I am, what I am.
And yeah, that's exactly it.
And plus, if I'm hesitating,you know in a yes, no, should I,
(15:09):
shouldn't I?
If I'm hesitating, it's likegee, is this the right thing to
do?
The answer is probably no,probably no.
Tim (15:16):
Right, right, unless and I will put a caveat, unless we've
missed something.
Absolutely, that's fair.
Ron (15:22):
Unless we've missed something, absolutely, that's
fair.
Unless we've missed something,no doubt that's fair and that
happens.
Tim (15:29):
I mean, obviously it's happened with me, it's you know,
and I think that's a good point.
I didn't think about that, butmy decision was still right and
I'm glad that you brought thatup, because that's something
that will now go into theblender for future
decision-making.
Ron (15:46):
Well, let's see.
Let's circle back, though, too,because if I have a major
decision to make and you know,ideally, yeah, I mean I can make
it.
If I'm not sure one of thethings I like to talk about with
people too, and I still do itafter all these years I need to
turn to somebody that I trustrelationships and get some input
(16:08):
, get some advice, and it's like, hey, what do you think about
this?
And again, that's where therelationships need to be in
place.
Mm-hmm.
Tim (16:18):
And not just the yes person relationship, the real
relationship, the realrelationship.
Ron (16:23):
That's exactly right.
That's exactly right.
You know, and again, I had thisconversation.
Tim (16:32):
So I went up to see my grandkids last week week before,
and I spend a lot of time onthe phone when I'm driving and I
was talking to my best friendand he's got a business.
I'm helping him sell it, buthe's not really ready to sell it
yet and he was bouncing somethings off me and he said
everybody thinks that this is agood idea and what we were
(16:54):
talking about.
I said well, wait a second.
Why is it that a good idea tohave you thought about this?
Have you thought about that?
And he said you know what Ihaven't?
I've just been taking whatthey've been saying.
I said, mike, you need to.
You need to really think aboutthat, because that's going to
change so much and if I'm justbeing a yes person to him, that
could cost him a ton of money.
Ron (17:15):
That's right, that's exactly right, and I mean it's
yeah, it is, it's just, andagain it's reminding me of a
book I read quite a few yearsago that ties into that as
called let's Get Real or let'sNot Play, and it's all about
(17:35):
helping people to.
It's essentially sales training, and again, sales training from
a very, very strongconsultative perspective.
And again, the point being,though, absolutely, is that
you've got to have these honestconversations with each other so
that, otherwise, what is therelationship really worth?
(17:57):
Otherwise, it's surface.
Tim (17:59):
Exactly, exactly so.
So when, when, when?
We're talking about emotionalintelligence, I think it plays a
big role in our communicationstyle and communication skills.
Um, what, what, what are yourthoughts there?
Because I, you know, you and Italk again in the pre-show about
(18:19):
knowing who we are in terms ofeverybody's smart, but we're all
smart in different ways.
Yes, right, and we have to, wehave to accept that and lean
into it and, again, I agree 100%with that.
But how does that relate to ourcommunication skills?
Ron (18:34):
Well, I mean, for me, Tim I think it goes back to what we
were just talking about I'm abright guy.
I mean I really am in certainareas Right, and you know I like
to think.
I like to think I really am incertain areas Right, and you
know I, you know I, I like tothink I end up, I like to think
I know I can build relationships.
Well, I'm a, you know I'm a,I'm a strong detail guy.
(18:55):
You know those sorts of things.
I communicate well.
I communicate more effectivelyin smaller groups.
Tim (19:04):
Yes.
Ron (19:04):
And I know that about myself.
That's part of my personality,so are my limitations.
I'm not real strong technically, I don't write particularly
well and I mean I know thesethings about myself and I mean,
and again, really you know, butactually let's pull it through
on the other side from.
(19:25):
You know, I've let mypreferences to work with smaller
groups 10, 12, five, you know,whatever it might be I have.
I have spoken to groups wherethere were hundreds and hundreds
of people in the audience.
Can I do that Absolutely?
Is it my preference?
No, no, it's not, because Ilike to form stronger
(19:47):
relationships with the smallergroups of people.
There's nothing wrong, nothingwith people who like the larger
groups.
It's just their preference.
And that's what we need tolearn about each other, both
professionally and personally,so we can give people the proper
assignments and let themflourish.
Tim (20:09):
Right, exactly, and part of that is what I've always said.
It's my job as a leader to putyou in the best position
possible for you to besuccessful, and for me to give
you everything that you need tobe successful.
And that's and, and and for meto give you everything that you
need to be successful.
Ron (20:30):
Right, and and, and, provide the tools, provide the.
You know just just everything.
I will be there.
I got your back.
Go do your thing, yeah.
Tim (20:39):
And you know, without getting into into too much here,
yeah, I live in a, in a, in acommunity that's got a property
owners association, and you knowthat has its struggles.
Let's just say, and my positionis always you know, open,
(21:02):
honest communication.
We don't have to agree onanything, but you need to have
open, honest communication.
We don't have to agree onanything, but you need to have
open, honest communication.
And you've got however manypeople that live in this
community.
We all have our own expertise.
You as the board.
You don't have to do everythingyourself.
It's okay to reach out tosomebody and say you know what,
tim, you've got some marketingexpertise or you've got some PR
(21:25):
expertise.
Can you help us?
Certainly, that's exactly, it'sokay.
It's okay.
And use the tools and use theresources that you have at your
disposal to fill in the gaps,because nobody's going to be
great at everything.
Ron (21:44):
I hope you and I hope the audience will relate to this.
I'm not sure if it's the bestexample in the world.
I think it'll work.
My wife and I saw Elton John anumber of years ago.
We both love his music.
He's about 75% through the show, 80%, whatever Finishes a song,
(22:04):
and he's just quiet.
The entire arena is just quiet.
Clearly he's going to tell astory.
He looks at us, says you know,about 27, 28 years ago, I was in
a lot of trouble.
I was doing a lot of things Ishouldn't have been doing.
(22:24):
He went on for a little while.
He said I was drinking a lot,and I was, you know, I was just,
I was doing a lot of things Ishouldn't have been doing.
He went on for a little while.
He said I was drinking a lotand I was, you know, I was just,
I was doing a lot of bad things.
He said folks, let me tell yousomething.
Three words saved my life.
Three words.
And I'm sitting there thinkingwhat are the three?
What are the three words?
And he just and you could heara pin drop he said folks, those
(22:52):
three words simply are.
I need help.
And everybody needs help at somepoint in time.
Maybe not the kind he's talkingabout, and that's fine.
I need help at certain timesbecause I'm not good at
everything.
I never have been, never willbe Right.
Tim (23:04):
Right, been, never will be Right, right and it's.
And again, it comes back to toknowing who you are and being
okay, to being okay with leaninginto that and asking for that
help, because, as, as as society, we want to help people.
That's right, that's exactlyright.
Nobody, nobody, at least nobodythat I know or that I want to
(23:25):
be associated with, is sittingover here going, ah, look at
that guy over there struggling.
I know I can help him, but I'mnot going to.
I don't want to watch himstruggle.
I don't know anybody like that,I really don't and I wouldn't
want to, right, that's exactlyso.
You know.
It's okay to ask and if I can'thelp you, you know what I'm
(23:48):
going to say, you know what.
I can't help you, but thisperson can or that person can,
and if you want me to make anintroduction or if you want me
to make the contact, I'd behappy to do that.
That's how I can help.
But again, we have to againknow who we are and be okay with
(24:08):
doing that, and that startsreally at a young age.
You know, if you wait untilyour mid-20s, mid-30s, it
becomes much harder to do,becomes much harder to
understand those types ofconcepts.
Ron (24:22):
That's right, that's exactly right.
I mean yeah, yeah, I mean I,yeah, yeah, I mean there, there,
there's no doubt that just Imean that's another whole show
we could get into is is when youknow, when you know, when did,
when did kids, people need to beeducated about these things?
Yes, exactly I.
Tim (24:41):
I know, I know it's just shake my head sometimes and do
what we can do, but you know itis what it is sometimes.
Ron (24:51):
It is, and yet you know you made the comment early in the
show, tim is that if one personlearns something from this, it's
worthwhile, and I mean I justagree with that.
Am I going to change the world?
No, no, I'm not going to changethe world.
(25:12):
What I'm going to try to do,though, is help as many people
as I can in my time here, andand change and change influence,
make a difference within thatsphere, and then, hopefully that
grows, based on how they helpothers exactly, exactly it's.
Tim (25:29):
It's that pay it forward, philosophy, um and and again.
I've said the same things.
I can only help people withbetter around me, the inner
circle and hopefully that that,that, that the, the ripple
effect will, will take care ofitself.
So right.
Have you ever struggled withwith imposter syndrome in terms
(25:49):
of presenting in front of agroup?
Oh goodness, yes.
How did you overcome it?
Ron (25:57):
I think a big part for me, tim's going, going back to
knowing yourself well is justreally really preparing,
preparing, preparing andrealizing.
One of the mantras I have, andactually it ties into what we're
talking about here, something Ibelieve in very, very strongly,
(26:20):
is just staying out of what Icall the results business.
Staying out of what I call theresults business, so much of my
life, my professional life, mypersonal life is, is is just out
of my hands.
Tim (26:33):
Right.
Ron (26:33):
It's just I don't control the results.
Right right, right, rightbefore we came on the air, I
mean I was looking over my notesand just everything else and
just thinking to myself okay,I'm ready, I'm prepared.
Beyond that, I have no controlover how well you think the talk
goes, how well the you knowwhat the audience thinks.
(26:56):
All I can do is be ready and Ilearned that, and when I'm
prepared and when I'm ready, theresults will take care of
themselves.
Tim (27:05):
Exactly, and that's such a good point.
And again, ron, you and I areon the same page there.
I'm a researcher, I'm apreparer, I'm somebody that puts
time and effort on the frontend, because if you don't put it
on the front end, the back endis not going to be good.
(27:26):
We know the back end isn'tgoing to be good.
We know the back end isn'tgoing to be good.
We already know that.
So put the time and effort in.
You know, do the research, dothe practice, and we talk about
practice.
So you know, one of the firstthings I asked you when you came
on was what?
How do you say your last name?
Right, and you told me.
Ron (27:44):
And I said good, that's how I've been practicing Right, I
caught that.
Tim (27:50):
And it's, but.
But you know, that's just who Iam Right.
And so, and when I practice andyou know when I when I tell
people and coach them, you'dneed to be practicing, not just
sitting there with your face andyour notes.
You need to be practicing itlike you would actually do it.
So, like you know, basketballplayers don't sit in a in a in a
(28:14):
classroom with the lights offdribbling a basketball.
They go out to the basketballcourt with the lights on,
dressed in their uniform, andare practicing how they're going
to actually play the game.
Right, that's right.
So if you're going to get up infront of a team meeting or go
to a job interview or go to anetworking event or stand on a
stage, why would it beappropriate for you to sit at
(28:37):
your desk staring at yourcomputer, reading your notes?
That's not practicing.
That's called reading yournotes, right.
Ron (28:43):
That's exactly right.
Reading your notes, right?
That's exactly right.
Well, and you know, one of theone of the helping me to
overcome the imposter syndrome,if you will, when I worked at
Toshiba all those years ago Iwas doing, I was going to be
doing a three-day interviewingclass.
My boss was going to be in theroom watching me.
She had a 15 page form that sheused to evaluate the trainers
(29:08):
that worked for her when shewould observe them.
She said, and she says sets theexpectations.
At the end of each day we'regoing to sit down and talk about
how the day went and so forth.
Fine.
Day one everything went verywell.
I'm happy, ron, and it gave yousome good feedback.
Day two same thing.
At the end of day three, tim,I'll never forget, barbara came
up to me, sat down and she waslike Mr Reich, and that's what
(29:32):
she said, mr Reich.
And I was like, okay, where arewe going with this?
She said this has never, everhappened in my entire career
before.
You were flawless.
You were flawless for thesethree days.
You got 179 points out of thepossible 180.
(29:52):
And I asked her, of course,what'd you take the point off
for Exactly?
And she said your pants weren'tironed nicely enough.
Today, and my whole pointthough, tim, I prepared so hard
for that course, standing up,going through it, saying it out
loud, just working, working,working, so that when the
(30:13):
curtain went up I was readyRight.
Tim (30:17):
And again, you have to do that, just like anything else,
if you want to be good at it.
It takes work, it takespractice, it takes repetition
and the only way to do that isto put yourself in that position
.
It just you know.
(30:39):
I use some real simple conceptsto break it down.
Again, I come from the sportindustry.
If the all-time greats the KobeBryants, the Michael Jordans,
the Tom Brady's of the world areworking on fundamentals every
day, why can't you and thinkabout it on the other level,
(31:01):
when you teach a child how totie their shoe, how long does it
take them practicing to do itand get it right?
You see the learning happen.
They get frustrated and youshow them again and they get
pieces of it.
It comes from practice.
It doesn't just happen.
Ron (31:23):
A big part of this, too, though, is that, as the person
is making progress, the praiseneeds to be there, so that the
confidence starts to increase,and then the relationship
strengthens and everybody'swinning.
So I mean, it is just a big,big circle.
Yeah, yeah, big circle.
Tim (31:44):
Yeah, yeah, and you have to to to do that.
You've got again.
Get comfortable beinguncomfortable, because that's
learning, that's the learningpiece.
Right, that's, you know, it'sthe, the.
I call it frustration, but itdoesn't necessarily have to be
frustration.
(32:05):
It could be.
You know what?
I didn't get it that time.
Ron (32:08):
What did I?
Tim (32:08):
miss.
It could be any of those things.
I I call it again.
I call it frustration.
It doesn't have to befrustration, it's for me, it's
damn it, I missed it again.
Ron (32:18):
What was?
Tim (32:18):
it, but that everybody has their own process of learning
and and figuring that out.
So get comfortable with beinguncomfortable.
Get comfortable with thatfrustration of I didn't get it
right.
What do I need to dodifferently?
What do I need to do better?
And again, it doesn't matterwhat it is If we want to be good
(32:40):
at it.
It takes work, it takespractice.
Ron (32:43):
That's right and that's okay.
That's right, it's okay andit's okay to ask for help.
Tim (32:48):
Yep, you know Absolutely.
Ron (32:50):
You know.
Again, I'll just reinforce that.
It's making me think.
A friend, mentor of mine, Rich,brilliant, brilliant guy.
He's been all over the world,knows all of these different
famous people, blah, blah, blah.
He's helping me to learn atwo-day leadership class that he
had designed and developed.
(33:11):
He wanted me to deliver itmyself.
We had been doing it together,we were in Atlanta and I did
probably maybe 80% of the class.
We're talking about itafterwards.
He goes what do you think?
And I was like Rich.
I was really happy, except andI was angry with myself, I was
like Rich that change module.
(33:31):
I was sloppy with that and I'mjust so mad at myself and I'll
never forget Tim Rich justlooked at me and he smiled.
He goes number one, I agree,you were a little sloppy.
Number two don't worry about it.
I'll show it to you one moretime and then you'll know it
inside and out.
Let's go.
Tim (33:51):
Yeah, it's that simple, right, it's really that simple.
I know, so you know, and you,you know you're generally
working with mid-career andsenior career level individuals
in leadership positions.
What are some communicationskills that stand out that the
(34:13):
best leaders have?
Ron (34:17):
I think probably the ability to communicate with
people how they like to becommunicated with.
Tim (34:26):
Oh yeah.
Ron (34:27):
If that makes sense.
I mean the rule I learned yearsand years ago.
If you think about the goldenrule treat people the way you
want to be treated.
It doesn't make sense, right?
It just doesn't.
It makes no sense, because ifthat's the case and I love
(34:49):
strawberry ice cream, what am Igoing to give you?
Strawberry ice cream.
What if you hate or areallergic to strawberry ice cream
?
What I learned was called theplatinum rule.
Yes, the platinum rule treatpeople the way they want to be
treated.
Well, how does that happen?
You have to get to know them.
(35:09):
You have to build arelationship with them.
Tim (35:11):
Exactly.
Ron (35:21):
Exactly.
It's an area where I think alot of leaders can improve is
just getting to know theircolleagues on a deeper level,
both professionally andpersonally.
And I say, hey, who are you?
You know, what do you love todo, Tim, and and and.
Then it's not a you know, it'snot a surface level of like okay
(35:42):
, good box checked, now let'smove on.
It is, let's talk about how wasyour trip, what's going on with
that, what's the leg in it,whatever, and building that
strong relationship so thatthere is trust on a lot of
different levels.
Tim (35:57):
Yes, yeah, and, and that again that's such a critical
piece, it's because it's notjust that business professional
relationship, because really, ifyou're just focusing on that,
it's really only going to besurface, surface level business
professional.
That's right.
You've got to get to knowpeople as as individuals, and
(36:20):
I'm not saying you have to bebest friends with them, I'm not
even saying that you have to befriends with them, but you need
to know who they are.
You need to know who they are,you need to know what makes them
tick.
Ron (36:31):
You need to know what's important to them.
Exactly.
That's exactly it, you knowit's just.
It's like oh they're, you knowthey're.
Oh yeah, there's Ron, theleadership development guy.
No, there's Ron, the guy who'sbeen married for 25 years, who
loves to travel with his wife,who's a New York Giants season
ticket boulder, who has read 400leadership books, who you know
just and all these differentthings?
(36:52):
And it's not, and again, it'snot.
I need to know every detailabout you.
Tim (36:58):
No, of course not.
Ron (36:59):
That's inappropriate.
Still, the relationship needsto be in place Exactly.
Tim (37:05):
Exactly, exactly.
What role does listening from aleadership perspective play?
Because, to me, I love tolisten and I love to ask
questions.
I think that's one of thethings that, from a leadership
perspective, you've got to begood at is listening and asking
(37:30):
questions to really get at theroot or the basis of whatever it
is that we're doing.
Ron (37:37):
Right, right that we're doing.
Right, right, I am.
I'm a big believer in StephenCovey's work.
Uh, from the seven habits, anddirectly out of habit, five seek
first to understand, then to beunderstood.
Good listening for me.
What, what, what?
What a good leader anybody needsto do essentially is you
(37:59):
translate what you're hearingthe person say, just translate
it.
You know, and I always, Ialways say to clients, I say to
people we listen with threedifferent things we listen with
our eyes, we listen, of course,with our ears and we listen with
our heart as well.
And you know, listening throughthe eyes, body language, what's
(38:23):
the message I'm getting from abody language perspective?
You know you may be saying onething and your body language is
getting a totally differentsignal, exactly that's.
You know, tone of voice,critical.
And then you know we listenwith our ears and then heart
emotions.
And then you know we listenwith our ears and then heart
emotions, because emotions are apart of any situation, any
(38:46):
message that someone's trying toget across, and you translate
that it sounds like you're upsetabout this.
Tim (39:01):
What I'm understanding is that you think we should hold
off on launching this product,just as examples and why you
want to hold off, and so that wecan, and so that we can, we can
either, you know, figure outwhat we need to do better, what,
what, what, what the process is.
Maybe there's a flaw in theprocess, maybe there's a flaw in
in the materials, whatever,whatever it is, but understand
that, so then that can becommunicated to whoever needs to
(39:24):
know that.
You know, it's just really soimportant, the listening piece
and again, not just from thebusiness side, from the personal
, professional side.
You know, all of a sudden,you've got a longtime employee
who's coming in half an hourlate, three times a week.
(39:45):
What's going on?
Let's sit down and talk, Tellme what's happening.
What can we do to support you?
This isn't like you Exactly,you know, and so you know.
A lot of that has to do withemotional intelligence, caring,
empathy and coming back toknowing who your employees are
(40:07):
and then being willing toactually listen to the feedback
that we're getting Exactly.
So what's one piece of?
Ron (40:35):
advice that you would give to the younger midlife
professionals to improve theircommunication skills so that you
know when they do become, youknow, come into leadership
positions.
They're going to it and I meanI think, and there really is, I
think you know it's reallyeverything we've been talking
about.
In order to communicateeffectively, there are so many
different things.
Number one you've got to knowyourself.
I'm also a big, big believer inthe disc instrument, the
(41:01):
personality assessment, learningabout yourself.
Once you know about yourself,then you're going to be able to
communicate more effectivelywith others Right and learning,
indeed, how to give feedback,how to give nonjudgmental
feedback, how to listeneffectively, how to create a
(41:21):
motivational environment bygetting to know the people with
whom you work.
And I mean where I go with thisand I'm not trying to be
self-serving, please, I'm not.
I think one of the best thingsanybody can do is to either is
to attend leadership trainingand then get a coach in order to
reinforce that, because thetraining itself wonderful,
(41:46):
except so often where peoplefall down is I went to training,
it's all good now and it's like, yeah, except six weeks from
now, what are you going to beapplying or how much will you be
applying?
Tim (41:58):
Right, and are you going to fall back on your old habits?
Ron (42:00):
Exactly, exactly, because it's got to be applying.
Right, and are you going tofall back on your old habits?
Exactly, exactly, because it'sgot to be reinforced.
Tim (42:05):
Yeah, and you know, again, coming from the higher ed
industry, I kept telling people,you know, most college
professors have never had a joboutside of education and so they
don't have a whole lot ofexperience with some of those
(42:26):
things, with evaluations, withpersonnel evaluations.
Actually, you know, havingthose types of things, there
needs to be some mandatorytraining when you go from a
professor position intoadministration.
How do you develop budgets?
How do you manage budgets?
(42:47):
How do you manage people?
Ron (42:48):
How do you evaluate people.
That's right.
It's a completely different setof competencies.
It is and I think that's also abig problem that a lot of
organizations have is that ohwow, you're a great sales rep,
you're going to be a great salesmanager there.
For him, it's like wait aminute, wait a minute stop
(43:10):
different competencies,different job, and yeah again,
it's, it's yeah.
Tim (43:17):
It's very, very different, you know, and, again, that's why
some of the all time greats insport aren't great coaches.
Ron (43:24):
Exactly, exactly.
And some of the greatestcoaches were not the best
players in the world, and that'sokay too.
Tim (43:34):
Exactly what's your skill set?
Where's your strengths?
Ron (43:38):
Think about Phil Jackson.
Yeah, never a great player hewasn't.
He was, all right, one of thegreatest coaches of all time.
Tim (43:46):
So I don't know it's.
It's.
It's about expectations and,and you know, what what, knowing
what we're good at?
But you know so.
So, phil, excuse me, phil philjackson.
All of a sudden you know he wasph.
So, phil, excuse me, phil, philJackson.
All of a sudden you know he wasPhil Jackson, was, was a
voracious reader too, I mean, Idon't know if you know that.
(44:08):
And I mean, and what he woulddo is is he would give these,
give his players different booksto read.
Ron (44:13):
Yeah.
Tim (44:13):
And some of some of them would just kind of laugh it.
But those who did you knowreally did it at the end.
They appreciate that.
So I'm sorry for calling youPhil, but there is that
relationship there.
Ron, where can people find you?
Ron (44:26):
if they want to work with you.
Probably the best way to do it,tim, is via LinkedIn.
Just yeah, my name's on thescreen there, ron Reich.
The name of my company is RLBTraining and Development.
Just, you know, have a look,please.
I welcome the chance just tohave a conversation with anybody
, you know send you know, sendme a message, whatever you like,
(44:47):
I will gladly.
Gladly chat with anybody.
Tim (44:51):
Right, ron.
Thank you so much and I'll putthat.
Put the link in the show notesfor everybody.
I really do appreciate yourtime.
I love the conversation andcan't wait to work with you in
the future.
Ron (45:03):
Thanks, tim, appreciate it.
It's great to talk to you.
Tim (45:07):
Be sure to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcastcom
to get your free ebook the top21 challenges for public
speakers and how to overcomethem.
You can also register for theForum for Public Speaking course
.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world.
We'll talk to you next time,take care.
Welcome to Speaking with Conference, the podcast
dedicated to helping you unlockthe power of effective public
speaking.
I'm Tim Newman, a recoveringcollege professor turned
communication coach, and I'mthrilled to guide you on your
journey to becoming a powerfulcommunicator.
I want to thank each and everyone of you for your support.
It truly means the world to me.
If you have questions or if youwant something covered on the
podcast, just send me a message.
(00:29):
Please visit timnewmanspeakscomto get your free ebook the Top
21 Challenges for PublicSpeakers and how to Overcome
them.
Today's guest is Ron Reich.
Ron has 30 years of trainingand development in consulting
experience.
Is Ron Reich?
Ron has 30 years of trainingand development in consulting
experience.
His background is broad-based,having worked for some major
organizations such as Toshiba,the Chubb Corporation and
(00:57):
several pharmaceutical companies.
He's done consulting work inmany industries, including
medical assisted livingfacilities, manufacturing
high-tech retail pharmaceuticalsand banking.
The majority of his workthrough these years has focused
on leadership and managementdevelopment, along with
corporate training andorganizational development and
coaching at all levels.
Ron's philosophy aboutleadership is quite simple it's
(01:19):
about the leader's colleaguesand how the leader can help get
them where the team needs to go,by building long-lasting and
sustainable relationships.
Ron believes no one graduatesfrom leadership school.
Everything needs to be a workin progress, always learning and
growing.
Ron, welcome to the show.
Ron (01:36):
Tim, thank you.
It's good to be here.
I'm really, really excited tohave the chance to talk with you
.
Tim (01:41):
Yeah, I think we're going to have a great conversation.
You know, in our pre-show talk,you know we're on the same page
and you know one of the thingsyou know, there's really two
things that stuck out about youfor me.
One is about the relationships,but two, what I want to start
talking about first is reallythe amount of reading that you
(02:01):
do.
You do a ton of reading, which,to me, I love, but young
professionals today, at least inmy experience, really don't
like to read, don't read nearlyas much as we do.
And how important do you thinkreading is, not just in terms of
(02:22):
our own personal development,but in terms of improving our
communication skills?
Ron (02:27):
Tim, I'm going to go all the way back and I'll share with
you.
We may have done this in ourpre-call, I don't remember.
Frankly, the best piece ofbusiness advice I ever got was
from an old boss of mine, apharmaceutical company.
We were talking about my review, my increase and everything was
(02:48):
good.
And I said to him I was likeJoe, I admire David so much, one
of my colleagues.
I said he's so well-rounded injust everything else.
And Joe just said to me, ron.
He said you are really good atwhat you do.
He said you can get a lotbetter.
And what I want you to startdoing is to read.
(03:08):
And that's one of the reasonsDavid is so good.
If you can read 10 pages a day,five, six days a week, you have
no clue what's going to happen.
And in the 23, 24 years whateverTim from then, I've read over
400 leadership books.
Tying it into how it makes adifference.
(03:31):
Number one my confidence hasgone up enormously because I
just have so much more knowledgeat my fingertips.
Equally as important, I can bea resource to people on so many
different levels.
Number one making bookrecommendations.
(03:57):
Number two just pullinginformation from books, sharing
models, sharing information,whatever it might be, and I mean
it's just so true.
I mean, I mean it's just sotrue.
I mean, minutes before we goton the show, I was reading my
latest book.
It's called Beyond the Hammerand it's about vision, the
importance of vision and missionwithin an organization and
(04:17):
communicating with youremployees.
And again, none of theinformation in here is brand new
to me, and that's fine, that'sgood, it shouldn't be, except
it's reinforcing.
It's reinforcing.
It was the greatest piece ofadvice I ever got.
Tim (04:36):
Ron, I completely, 100% agree with what you're saying.
For all those reasons andtrying to get that across to you
know, the younger generationsis is really difficult.
And you know, I read something.
There was a post on LinkedIn afew weeks ago and it was a bunch
of people complaining aboutkids not reading and this, that
and the other thing, and and it.
(04:57):
It instantly aggravated mebecause, yes, I felt the same
way, but we've got to, as theolder generation, have to
convince students or or givethem, um, the younger
professionals, give them reasonsto read, as opposed to just
complaining about it, and andand help them understand the
(05:20):
importance of it and what thatcan do.
Again, not only for yourpersonal development, but your
communication development, yourpersonal relationships, your
business relationships.
All those types of things areneeded and a lot of it comes
from reading.
You know when we look at ourattention spans and how they
have changed over the years.
(05:40):
Over the years not to go into ahistory lesson, but if you go
back to, you know the 20s, the1920s, because we're in the
2020s, but go back to the 1920sand you know when radio came
online and magazines came onlineand newspapers became way more
popular than they were beforethat.
(06:03):
And then TV came online.
And then you know, I believe itwas the 80s when USA Today was
first published and, ron, youprobably remember this, it was
the first daily newspaper thatwas in color.
Yes, it was.
The articles were shorter,smaller, much more bite-sized
(06:27):
piece of information.
And now move forward to howwe're communicating now.
Most, most younger professionals, get all of their information
from social media.
Think about that.
They're they're they're gettingtheir news from TikTok.
They're getting that.
That, that kind of, is what itis, and they're not actually
reading information.
I mean, they are readinginformation but they're not
(06:50):
reading the right types ofinformation.
Okay, and we've got to reachout to them and get them to
start doing that no doubt, and Imean I think so.
Ron (07:08):
So much of this comes from the instant gratification yeah,
I don't have time.
I don't have time.
And I mean it's amazing to mewhen I, when I make a
recommendation to someone, isthat it's exactly what Joe said
to me.
It's still applicable.
It's just can you read 10 pagesa day?
Can you find the time somehow,some way right to take 15, 20
(07:29):
minutes and just read 10 pages aday?
Right?
And you know, sometimes youknow not always obviously you
can see the white bulb coming onwhere it's like yeah, I could
do that.
I, I can do that.
That, that's, that's no hugedeal.
It it's like yeah, I'm notasking you, you know, re read a
book a week and then and thenwrite a report on it.
(07:50):
You know nothing like that.
Tim (07:52):
Right.
Ron (07:52):
And you know, I mean one of one of the other big things for
me too is that at least it'sbeen my direct experience and I
believe so strongly people whoare well read it just gives you
so much more credibility.
Yeah, and I mean it's, it's sonice to be able to say to a
client, to you know, to a classthat I'm facilitating oh, I
(08:15):
pulled this out of a book that Iread.
You know, this comes from Xbook, you know whatever it might
be.
And people realize, okay, he'sjust not throwing us his opinion
Exactly, and that's critical tome, which goes back to
relationships and solidcommunication, because it's not
(08:35):
my opinion, it's based onresearch, right?
Tim (08:40):
And you know, talk about relationships here for just a
second.
You know, with the age oftechnology and AI and I get it
it's important we have to learnthat stuff, and because we don't
learn it, we're going to be theones left behind.
And understand, though, that Idon't care what industry you're
in, it's always aboutrelationships, it's always about
(09:05):
the connections, it's alwaysabout, you know, building good,
healthy, strong relationships.
That's the bottom line.
Ron (09:11):
That's right.
That's exactly right.
I mean one of the things I loveto do and it's fun, and again
you see light bulbs going on,whether I'm coaching somebody
individually or in a class.
One of the first things Ialways do your role as a leader,
you know put flip charts up ifit's a class, or just ask
(09:34):
somebody what are the majorthings for which you are
responsible from a macroperspective?
They'll write things down andsay what's interesting and we
always come up with there's nextto no technical information on
the list.
Tim (09:50):
It's about people.
Ron (09:51):
It's about people.
Tim (09:54):
Exactly, exactly.
Ron (09:56):
Oh yeah, those things.
Tim (10:00):
How about that?
And so I mean, if we can getone person a day to understand
that and realize that and carrythat on, you know we'll be there
in no time at all.
That's right, you know.
You have to understand that.
But here's another piece tothat, though If we understand
(10:21):
this about people and it's aboutrelationships, we have to know
who we are as individuals, right, and that brings us into the
whole emotional intelligence.
You know that's become abuzzword the last five to ten
years, but you know, when I grewup, it was you better figure
out who you are as an individual.
You know who are you, what areyour values, what do you like,
(10:41):
what are you good at?
Ron (10:42):
That's right.
And, tim, those are the exactthings, truly, that I asked my
clients to do.
Again, whether I'm coachingthem, whether I'm facilitating a
class, you better know thesethings and, equally as important
, in addition to knowing them,you need to be able to
articulate them, because peopleare looking for that and, again,
(11:05):
as I understand it and based onthe reading I've done, the
younger generations are lookingfor that from us.
Hey, hey, hey, who are you?
What are you?
What do you believe in?
And don't throw me a bunch offluff, and if I can't articulate
that clearly, it's a problem,as it should be, because I need
(11:25):
to know myself very, very deeply.
Yeah.
Tim (11:30):
So how can reading help them figure?
Ron (11:32):
that out.
Well, I mean, there are so manydifferent things.
Number one I mean there arebooks that can help you to
determine what your values are,there are exercises, there are
assessments you can use.
I've put together from readingthat I've done, tim, I call it
(11:53):
my 15 thought ponderingquestions, and it is all about
helping an individual to get toknow himself or herself on a
real, deep level, personally,professionally.
And I mean as an example herehow we can use this.
(12:13):
My wife's cousin, jen, was theassistant trainer at a division
two college school.
She was offered I think she wasoffered the head training
position.
She was talking to my wife andsaying oh man, I don't know,
(12:33):
this would be glorious.
I mean, the money is justunbelievable, wayne, and I would
like to buy a house, blah, blah, blah, fine.
And yet she was struggling alittle bit because of the time
commitment.
Lori said to her oh, Jen, don'tworry, ron will be glad to help
you, of course.
I was, of course, right and Imade this longer than I meant to
(12:55):
.
I sent her the thought ponderingquestions and I said to her Jen
, I will be glad to talk to youBefore we do.
You got to answer these Right.
We got on a Zoom call and shewas like, oh my, oh, oh, oh my.
You just had me thinking aboutso many different things here
and I was like, Jen, that's whatit's about is getting to know
(13:18):
yourself.
What's important to you, youknow, I know you love the kids,
you love your husband and yourfamily.
Your career is a part of that.
How can you balance that?
And that's what these questionsare designed to do to help an
individual learn more aboutthemselves and realize okay, it
is really dangerous if I makethis decision in the moment.
Tim (13:42):
Right, exactly, and, and, and you're so right there's you
have to be able to take allthose things in consideration
and you know kind of along thesame lines I'm, I'm, I'm working
with a couple of individualsright now who they have to make
some, some real decisions.
(14:02):
And I say these shouldn't behard decisions, they should be
real, easy decisions, because atthis point in your life, you
should already know for you notfor me, but for you what's right
and what's wrong.
And you know, when we startmaking those types of decisions
(14:25):
for me and I tell them for mewhat other people see as tough
decisions, it's not a toughdecision for me.
It's just because I alreadyknow.
I already know what I believe,I already know who I am.
I already know these things andit's easy to make tough
decisions.
Ron (14:44):
That's right.
When these values andeverything we're talking about
are so deeply ingrained, it'sjust instinctual and it's not a
gut decision.
It's a decision based on valueswho I am, what I am.
And yeah, that's exactly it.
And plus, if I'm hesitating,you know in a yes, no, should I,
(15:09):
shouldn't I?
If I'm hesitating, it's likegee, is this the right thing to
do?
The answer is probably no,probably no.
Tim (15:16):
Right, right, unless and I will put a caveat, unless we've
missed something.
Absolutely, that's fair.
Ron (15:22):
Unless we've missed something, absolutely, that's
fair.
Unless we've missed something,no doubt that's fair and that
happens.
Tim (15:29):
I mean, obviously it's happened with me, it's you know,
and I think that's a good point.
I didn't think about that, butmy decision was still right and
I'm glad that you brought thatup, because that's something
that will now go into theblender for future
decision-making.
Ron (15:46):
Well, let's see.
Let's circle back, though, too,because if I have a major
decision to make and you know,ideally, yeah, I mean I can make
it.
If I'm not sure one of thethings I like to talk about with
people too, and I still do itafter all these years I need to
turn to somebody that I trustrelationships and get some input
(16:08):
, get some advice, and it's like, hey, what do you think about
this?
And again, that's where therelationships need to be in
place.
Mm-hmm.
Tim (16:18):
And not just the yes person relationship, the real
relationship, the realrelationship.
Ron (16:23):
That's exactly right.
That's exactly right.
You know, and again, I had thisconversation.
Tim (16:32):
So I went up to see my grandkids last week week before,
and I spend a lot of time onthe phone when I'm driving and I
was talking to my best friendand he's got a business.
I'm helping him sell it, buthe's not really ready to sell it
yet and he was bouncing somethings off me and he said
everybody thinks that this is agood idea and what we were
(16:54):
talking about.
I said well, wait a second.
Why is it that a good idea tohave you thought about this?
Have you thought about that?
And he said you know what Ihaven't?
I've just been taking whatthey've been saying.
I said, mike, you need to.
You need to really think aboutthat, because that's going to
change so much and if I'm justbeing a yes person to him, that
could cost him a ton of money.
Ron (17:15):
That's right, that's exactly right, and I mean it's
yeah, it is, it's just, andagain it's reminding me of a
book I read quite a few yearsago that ties into that as
called let's Get Real or let'sNot Play, and it's all about
(17:35):
helping people to.
It's essentially sales training, and again, sales training from
a very, very strongconsultative perspective.
And again, the point being,though, absolutely, is that
you've got to have these honestconversations with each other so
that, otherwise, what is therelationship really worth?
(17:57):
Otherwise, it's surface.
Tim (17:59):
Exactly, exactly so.
So when, when, when?
We're talking about emotionalintelligence, I think it plays a
big role in our communicationstyle and communication skills.
Um, what, what, what are yourthoughts there?
Because I, you know, you and Italk again in the pre-show about
(18:19):
knowing who we are in terms ofeverybody's smart, but we're all
smart in different ways.
Yes, right, and we have to, wehave to accept that and lean
into it and, again, I agree 100%with that.
But how does that relate to ourcommunication skills?
Ron (18:34):
Well, I mean, for me, Tim I think it goes back to what we
were just talking about I'm abright guy.
I mean I really am in certainareas Right, and you know I like
to think.
I like to think I really am incertain areas Right, and you
know I, you know I, I like tothink I end up, I like to think
I know I can build relationships.
Well, I'm a, you know I'm a,I'm a strong detail guy.
(18:55):
You know those sorts of things.
I communicate well.
I communicate more effectivelyin smaller groups.
Tim (19:04):
Yes.
Ron (19:04):
And I know that about myself.
That's part of my personality,so are my limitations.
I'm not real strong technically, I don't write particularly
well and I mean I know thesethings about myself and I mean,
and again, really you know, butactually let's pull it through
on the other side from.
(19:25):
You know, I've let mypreferences to work with smaller
groups 10, 12, five, you know,whatever it might be I have.
I have spoken to groups wherethere were hundreds and hundreds
of people in the audience.
Can I do that Absolutely?
Is it my preference?
No, no, it's not, because Ilike to form stronger
(19:47):
relationships with the smallergroups of people.
There's nothing wrong, nothingwith people who like the larger
groups.
It's just their preference.
And that's what we need tolearn about each other, both
professionally and personally,so we can give people the proper
assignments and let themflourish.
Tim (20:09):
Right, exactly, and part of that is what I've always said.
It's my job as a leader to putyou in the best position
possible for you to besuccessful, and for me to give
you everything that you need tobe successful.
And that's and, and and for meto give you everything that you
need to be successful.
Ron (20:30):
Right, and and, and, provide the tools, provide the.
You know just just everything.
I will be there.
I got your back.
Go do your thing, yeah.
Tim (20:39):
And you know, without getting into into too much here,
yeah, I live in a, in a, in acommunity that's got a property
owners association, and you knowthat has its struggles.
Let's just say, and my positionis always you know, open,
(21:02):
honest communication.
We don't have to agree onanything, but you need to have
open, honest communication.
We don't have to agree onanything, but you need to have
open, honest communication.
And you've got however manypeople that live in this
community.
We all have our own expertise.
You as the board.
You don't have to do everythingyourself.
It's okay to reach out tosomebody and say you know what,
tim, you've got some marketingexpertise or you've got some PR
(21:25):
expertise.
Can you help us?
Certainly, that's exactly, it'sokay.
It's okay.
And use the tools and use theresources that you have at your
disposal to fill in the gaps,because nobody's going to be
great at everything.
Ron (21:44):
I hope you and I hope the audience will relate to this.
I'm not sure if it's the bestexample in the world.
I think it'll work.
My wife and I saw Elton John anumber of years ago.
We both love his music.
He's about 75% through the show, 80%, whatever Finishes a song,
(22:04):
and he's just quiet.
The entire arena is just quiet.
Clearly he's going to tell astory.
He looks at us, says you know,about 27, 28 years ago, I was in
a lot of trouble.
I was doing a lot of things Ishouldn't have been doing.
(22:24):
He went on for a little while.
He said I was drinking a lot,and I was, you know, I was just,
I was doing a lot of things Ishouldn't have been doing.
He went on for a little while.
He said I was drinking a lotand I was, you know, I was just,
I was doing a lot of bad things.
He said folks, let me tell yousomething.
Three words saved my life.
Three words.
And I'm sitting there thinkingwhat are the three?
What are the three words?
And he just and you could heara pin drop he said folks, those
(22:52):
three words simply are.
I need help.
And everybody needs help at somepoint in time.
Maybe not the kind he's talkingabout, and that's fine.
I need help at certain timesbecause I'm not good at
everything.
I never have been, never willbe Right.
Tim (23:04):
Right, been, never will be Right, right and it's.
And again, it comes back to toknowing who you are and being
okay, to being okay with leaninginto that and asking for that
help, because, as, as as society, we want to help people.
That's right, that's exactlyright.
Nobody, nobody, at least nobodythat I know or that I want to
(23:25):
be associated with, is sittingover here going, ah, look at
that guy over there struggling.
I know I can help him, but I'mnot going to.
I don't want to watch himstruggle.
I don't know anybody like that,I really don't and I wouldn't
want to, right, that's exactlyso.
You know.
It's okay to ask and if I can'thelp you, you know what I'm
(23:48):
going to say, you know what.
I can't help you, but thisperson can or that person can,
and if you want me to make anintroduction or if you want me
to make the contact, I'd behappy to do that.
That's how I can help.
But again, we have to againknow who we are and be okay with
(24:08):
doing that, and that startsreally at a young age.
You know, if you wait untilyour mid-20s, mid-30s, it
becomes much harder to do,becomes much harder to
understand those types ofconcepts.
Ron (24:22):
That's right, that's exactly right.
I mean yeah, yeah, I mean I,yeah, yeah, I mean there, there,
there's no doubt that just Imean that's another whole show
we could get into is is when youknow, when you know, when did,
when did kids, people need to beeducated about these things?
Yes, exactly I.
Tim (24:41):
I know, I know it's just shake my head sometimes and do
what we can do, but you know itis what it is sometimes.
Ron (24:51):
It is, and yet you know you made the comment early in the
show, tim is that if one personlearns something from this, it's
worthwhile, and I mean I justagree with that.
Am I going to change the world?
No, no, I'm not going to changethe world.
(25:12):
What I'm going to try to do,though, is help as many people
as I can in my time here, andand change and change influence,
make a difference within thatsphere, and then, hopefully that
grows, based on how they helpothers exactly, exactly it's.
Tim (25:29):
It's that pay it forward, philosophy, um and and again.
I've said the same things.
I can only help people withbetter around me, the inner
circle and hopefully that that,that, that the, the ripple
effect will, will take care ofitself.
So right.
Have you ever struggled withwith imposter syndrome in terms
(25:49):
of presenting in front of agroup?
Oh goodness, yes.
How did you overcome it?
Ron (25:57):
I think a big part for me, tim's going, going back to
knowing yourself well is justreally really preparing,
preparing, preparing andrealizing.
One of the mantras I have, andactually it ties into what we're
talking about here, something Ibelieve in very, very strongly,
(26:20):
is just staying out of what Icall the results business.
Staying out of what I call theresults business, so much of my
life, my professional life, mypersonal life is, is is just out
of my hands.
Tim (26:33):
Right.
Ron (26:33):
It's just I don't control the results.
Right right, right, rightbefore we came on the air, I
mean I was looking over my notesand just everything else and
just thinking to myself okay,I'm ready, I'm prepared.
Beyond that, I have no controlover how well you think the talk
goes, how well the you knowwhat the audience thinks.
(26:56):
All I can do is be ready and Ilearned that, and when I'm
prepared and when I'm ready, theresults will take care of
themselves.
Tim (27:05):
Exactly, and that's such a good point.
And again, ron, you and I areon the same page there.
I'm a researcher, I'm apreparer, I'm somebody that puts
time and effort on the frontend, because if you don't put it
on the front end, the back endis not going to be good.
(27:26):
We know the back end isn'tgoing to be good.
We know the back end isn'tgoing to be good.
We already know that.
So put the time and effort in.
You know, do the research, dothe practice, and we talk about
practice.
So you know, one of the firstthings I asked you when you came
on was what?
How do you say your last name?
Right, and you told me.
Ron (27:44):
And I said good, that's how I've been practicing Right, I
caught that.
Tim (27:50):
And it's, but.
But you know, that's just who Iam Right.
And so, and when I practice andyou know when I when I tell
people and coach them, you'dneed to be practicing, not just
sitting there with your face andyour notes.
You need to be practicing itlike you would actually do it.
So, like you know, basketballplayers don't sit in a in a in a
(28:14):
classroom with the lights offdribbling a basketball.
They go out to the basketballcourt with the lights on,
dressed in their uniform, andare practicing how they're going
to actually play the game.
Right, that's right.
So if you're going to get up infront of a team meeting or go
to a job interview or go to anetworking event or stand on a
stage, why would it beappropriate for you to sit at
(28:37):
your desk staring at yourcomputer, reading your notes?
That's not practicing.
That's called reading yournotes, right.
Ron (28:43):
That's exactly right.
Reading your notes, right?
That's exactly right.
Well, and you know, one of theone of the helping me to
overcome the imposter syndrome,if you will, when I worked at
Toshiba all those years ago Iwas doing, I was going to be
doing a three-day interviewingclass.
My boss was going to be in theroom watching me.
She had a 15 page form that sheused to evaluate the trainers
(29:08):
that worked for her when shewould observe them.
She said, and she says sets theexpectations.
At the end of each day we'regoing to sit down and talk about
how the day went and so forth.
Fine.
Day one everything went verywell.
I'm happy, ron, and it gave yousome good feedback.
Day two same thing.
At the end of day three, tim,I'll never forget, barbara came
up to me, sat down and she waslike Mr Reich, and that's what
(29:32):
she said, mr Reich.
And I was like, okay, where arewe going with this?
She said this has never, everhappened in my entire career
before.
You were flawless.
You were flawless for thesethree days.
You got 179 points out of thepossible 180.
(29:52):
And I asked her, of course,what'd you take the point off
for Exactly?
And she said your pants weren'tironed nicely enough.
Today, and my whole pointthough, tim, I prepared so hard
for that course, standing up,going through it, saying it out
loud, just working, working,working, so that when the
(30:13):
curtain went up I was readyRight.
Tim (30:17):
And again, you have to do that, just like anything else,
if you want to be good at it.
It takes work, it takespractice, it takes repetition
and the only way to do that isto put yourself in that position
.
It just you know.
(30:39):
I use some real simple conceptsto break it down.
Again, I come from the sportindustry.
If the all-time greats the KobeBryants, the Michael Jordans,
the Tom Brady's of the world areworking on fundamentals every
day, why can't you and thinkabout it on the other level,
(31:01):
when you teach a child how totie their shoe, how long does it
take them practicing to do itand get it right?
You see the learning happen.
They get frustrated and youshow them again and they get
pieces of it.
It comes from practice.
It doesn't just happen.
Ron (31:23):
A big part of this, too, though, is that, as the person
is making progress, the praiseneeds to be there, so that the
confidence starts to increase,and then the relationship
strengthens and everybody'swinning.
So I mean, it is just a big,big circle.
Yeah, yeah, big circle.
Tim (31:44):
Yeah, yeah, and you have to to to do that.
You've got again.
Get comfortable beinguncomfortable, because that's
learning, that's the learningpiece.
Right, that's, you know, it'sthe, the.
I call it frustration, but itdoesn't necessarily have to be
frustration.
(32:05):
It could be.
You know what?
I didn't get it that time.
Ron (32:08):
What did I?
Tim (32:08):
miss.
It could be any of those things.
I I call it again.
I call it frustration.
It doesn't have to befrustration, it's for me, it's
damn it, I missed it again.
Ron (32:18):
What was?
Tim (32:18):
it, but that everybody has their own process of learning
and and figuring that out.
So get comfortable with beinguncomfortable.
Get comfortable with thatfrustration of I didn't get it
right.
What do I need to dodifferently?
What do I need to do better?
And again, it doesn't matterwhat it is If we want to be good
(32:40):
at it.
It takes work, it takespractice.
Ron (32:43):
That's right and that's okay.
That's right, it's okay andit's okay to ask for help.
Tim (32:48):
Yep, you know Absolutely.
Ron (32:50):
You know.
Again, I'll just reinforce that.
It's making me think.
A friend, mentor of mine, Rich,brilliant, brilliant guy.
He's been all over the world,knows all of these different
famous people, blah, blah, blah.
He's helping me to learn atwo-day leadership class that he
had designed and developed.
(33:11):
He wanted me to deliver itmyself.
We had been doing it together,we were in Atlanta and I did
probably maybe 80% of the class.
We're talking about itafterwards.
He goes what do you think?
And I was like Rich.
I was really happy, except andI was angry with myself, I was
like Rich that change module.
(33:31):
I was sloppy with that and I'mjust so mad at myself and I'll
never forget Tim Rich justlooked at me and he smiled.
He goes number one, I agree,you were a little sloppy.
Number two don't worry about it.
I'll show it to you one moretime and then you'll know it
inside and out.
Let's go.
Tim (33:51):
Yeah, it's that simple, right, it's really that simple.
I know, so you know, and you,you know you're generally
working with mid-career andsenior career level individuals
in leadership positions.
What are some communicationskills that stand out that the
(34:13):
best leaders have?
Ron (34:17):
I think probably the ability to communicate with
people how they like to becommunicated with.
Tim (34:26):
Oh yeah.
Ron (34:27):
If that makes sense.
I mean the rule I learned yearsand years ago.
If you think about the goldenrule treat people the way you
want to be treated.
It doesn't make sense, right?
It just doesn't.
It makes no sense, because ifthat's the case and I love
(34:49):
strawberry ice cream, what am Igoing to give you?
Strawberry ice cream.
What if you hate or areallergic to strawberry ice cream
?
What I learned was called theplatinum rule.
Yes, the platinum rule treatpeople the way they want to be
treated.
Well, how does that happen?
You have to get to know them.
(35:09):
You have to build arelationship with them.
Tim (35:11):
Exactly.
Ron (35:21):
Exactly.
It's an area where I think alot of leaders can improve is
just getting to know theircolleagues on a deeper level,
both professionally andpersonally.
And I say, hey, who are you?
You know, what do you love todo, Tim, and and and.
Then it's not a you know, it'snot a surface level of like okay
(35:42):
, good box checked, now let'smove on.
It is, let's talk about how wasyour trip, what's going on with
that, what's the leg in it,whatever, and building that
strong relationship so thatthere is trust on a lot of
different levels.
Tim (35:57):
Yes, yeah, and, and that again that's such a critical
piece, it's because it's notjust that business professional
relationship, because really, ifyou're just focusing on that,
it's really only going to besurface, surface level business
professional.
That's right.
You've got to get to knowpeople as as individuals, and
(36:20):
I'm not saying you have to bebest friends with them, I'm not
even saying that you have to befriends with them, but you need
to know who they are.
You need to know who they are,you need to know what makes them
tick.
Ron (36:31):
You need to know what's important to them.
Exactly.
That's exactly it, you knowit's just.
It's like oh they're, you knowthey're.
Oh yeah, there's Ron, theleadership development guy.
No, there's Ron, the guy who'sbeen married for 25 years, who
loves to travel with his wife,who's a New York Giants season
ticket boulder, who has read 400leadership books, who you know
just and all these differentthings?
(36:52):
And it's not, and again, it'snot.
I need to know every detailabout you.
Tim (36:58):
No, of course not.
Ron (36:59):
That's inappropriate.
Still, the relationship needsto be in place Exactly.
Tim (37:05):
Exactly, exactly.
What role does listening from aleadership perspective play?
Because, to me, I love tolisten and I love to ask
questions.
I think that's one of thethings that, from a leadership
perspective, you've got to begood at is listening and asking
(37:30):
questions to really get at theroot or the basis of whatever it
is that we're doing.
Ron (37:37):
Right, right that we're doing.
Right, right, I am.
I'm a big believer in StephenCovey's work.
Uh, from the seven habits, anddirectly out of habit, five seek
first to understand, then to beunderstood.
Good listening for me.
What, what, what?
What a good leader anybody needsto do essentially is you
(37:59):
translate what you're hearingthe person say, just translate
it.
You know, and I always, Ialways say to clients, I say to
people we listen with threedifferent things we listen with
our eyes, we listen, of course,with our ears and we listen with
our heart as well.
And you know, listening throughthe eyes, body language, what's
(38:23):
the message I'm getting from abody language perspective?
You know you may be saying onething and your body language is
getting a totally differentsignal, exactly that's.
You know, tone of voice,critical.
And then you know we listenwith our ears and then heart
emotions.
And then you know we listenwith our ears and then heart
emotions, because emotions are apart of any situation, any
(38:46):
message that someone's trying toget across, and you translate
that it sounds like you're upsetabout this.
Tim (39:01):
What I'm understanding is that you think we should hold
off on launching this product,just as examples and why you
want to hold off, and so that wecan, and so that we can, we can
either, you know, figure outwhat we need to do better, what,
what, what, what the process is.
Maybe there's a flaw in theprocess, maybe there's a flaw in
in the materials, whatever,whatever it is, but understand
that, so then that can becommunicated to whoever needs to
(39:24):
know that.
You know, it's just really soimportant, the listening piece
and again, not just from thebusiness side, from the personal
, professional side.
You know, all of a sudden,you've got a longtime employee
who's coming in half an hourlate, three times a week.
(39:45):
What's going on?
Let's sit down and talk, Tellme what's happening.
What can we do to support you?
This isn't like you Exactly,you know, and so you know.
A lot of that has to do withemotional intelligence, caring,
empathy and coming back toknowing who your employees are
(40:07):
and then being willing toactually listen to the feedback
that we're getting Exactly.
So what's one piece of?
Ron (40:35):
advice that you would give to the younger midlife
professionals to improve theircommunication skills so that you
know when they do become, youknow, come into leadership
positions.
They're going to it and I meanI think, and there really is, I
think you know it's reallyeverything we've been talking
about.
In order to communicateeffectively, there are so many
different things.
Number one you've got to knowyourself.
I'm also a big, big believer inthe disc instrument, the
(41:01):
personality assessment, learningabout yourself.
Once you know about yourself,then you're going to be able to
communicate more effectivelywith others Right and learning,
indeed, how to give feedback,how to give nonjudgmental
feedback, how to listeneffectively, how to create a
(41:21):
motivational environment bygetting to know the people with
whom you work.
And I mean where I go with thisand I'm not trying to be
self-serving, please, I'm not.
I think one of the best thingsanybody can do is to either is
to attend leadership trainingand then get a coach in order to
reinforce that, because thetraining itself wonderful,
(41:46):
except so often where peoplefall down is I went to training,
it's all good now and it's like, yeah, except six weeks from
now, what are you going to beapplying or how much will you be
applying?
Tim (41:58):
Right, and are you going to fall back on your old habits?
Ron (42:00):
Exactly, exactly, because it's got to be applying.
Right, and are you going tofall back on your old habits?
Exactly, exactly, because it'sgot to be reinforced.
Tim (42:05):
Yeah, and you know, again, coming from the higher ed
industry, I kept telling people,you know, most college
professors have never had a joboutside of education and so they
don't have a whole lot ofexperience with some of those
(42:26):
things, with evaluations, withpersonnel evaluations.
Actually, you know, havingthose types of things, there
needs to be some mandatorytraining when you go from a
professor position intoadministration.
How do you develop budgets?
How do you manage budgets?
(42:47):
How do you manage people?
Ron (42:48):
How do you evaluate people.
That's right.
It's a completely different setof competencies.
It is and I think that's also abig problem that a lot of
organizations have is that ohwow, you're a great sales rep,
you're going to be a great salesmanager there.
For him, it's like wait aminute, wait a minute stop
(43:10):
different competencies,different job, and yeah again,
it's, it's yeah.
Tim (43:17):
It's very, very different, you know, and, again, that's why
some of the all time greats insport aren't great coaches.
Ron (43:24):
Exactly, exactly.
And some of the greatestcoaches were not the best
players in the world, and that'sokay too.
Tim (43:34):
Exactly what's your skill set?
Where's your strengths?
Ron (43:38):
Think about Phil Jackson.
Yeah, never a great player hewasn't.
He was, all right, one of thegreatest coaches of all time.
Tim (43:46):
So I don't know it's.
It's.
It's about expectations and,and you know, what what, knowing
what we're good at?
But you know so.
So, phil, excuse me, phil philjackson.
All of a sudden you know he wasph.
So, phil, excuse me, phil, philJackson.
All of a sudden you know he wasPhil Jackson, was, was a
voracious reader too, I mean, Idon't know if you know that.
(44:08):
And I mean, and what he woulddo is is he would give these,
give his players different booksto read.
Ron (44:13):
Yeah.
Tim (44:13):
And some of some of them would just kind of laugh it.
But those who did you knowreally did it at the end.
They appreciate that.
So I'm sorry for calling youPhil, but there is that
relationship there.
Ron, where can people find you?
Ron (44:26):
if they want to work with you.
Probably the best way to do it,tim, is via LinkedIn.
Just yeah, my name's on thescreen there, ron Reich.
The name of my company is RLBTraining and Development.
Just, you know, have a look,please.
I welcome the chance just tohave a conversation with anybody
, you know send you know, sendme a message, whatever you like,
(44:47):
I will gladly.
Gladly chat with anybody.
Tim (44:51):
Right, ron.
Thank you so much and I'll putthat.
Put the link in the show notesfor everybody.
I really do appreciate yourtime.
I love the conversation andcan't wait to work with you in
the future.
Ron (45:03):
Thanks, tim, appreciate it.
It's great to talk to you.
Tim (45:07):
Be sure to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcastcom
to get your free ebook the top21 challenges for public
speakers and how to overcomethem.
You can also register for theForum for Public Speaking course
.
Always remember your voice hasthe power to change the world.
We'll talk to you next time,take care.
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