Mother's Day and Father's Day are not simple holidays for a lot of people. Not everyone has their parents on this side. Not everyone who is a parent has their child on this side. And for some of us, the relationship that existed wasn't the kind that greeting cards are written about.
This episode is for all of you.
I'm sharing real stories from my world — readings, clients, and people who've just told me their story in the middle of life — of how people are honoring their parents and children in spirit in ways that are so personal, so unexpected, and so full of love that I just had to share them with you.
And then we're getting into the question I hear more than almost any other: do they still know? Are they aware of us on these days? Do they feel the love we're sending?
Yes. They do. And I some receipts.
If these holidays bring up anything complicated, quiet, or heavy for you — this one's for you.
Show Notes:
📎 Episodes mentioned:
Episode 77: Love Remembered — Creative & Unique Keepsakes from Beyond — https://www.joyfulmedium.com/blog/Creative-Unique-Keepsakes
Episode 148: 14 Surprisingly Meaningful Ways to Honor Loved Ones in Spirit — https://www.joyfulmedium.com/blog/14-rituals-honor-loved-ones
Get Joy's Free "Sign Magnet" 3 Day Mini Course HERE https://www.joyfulmedium.com/sign-magnet
Joy's Website: www.joyfulmedium.com
Instagram: @JoyfulMedium
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Facebook: @JoyfulMedium
Facebook Group: Joy's Soul Spa
YouTube: Psychic Medium Joy Giovanni
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Episode Transcript
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Unknown (00:01):
Joy, hey, beautiful soul, welcome to
spirit. Speak Easy. I'm JoyGiovanni, joyful medium. I'm a
working psychic medium, energyhealer and spiritual gifts
mentor. This podcast is like aseat at the table in a secret
club, but with mediums, mysticsand the spiritual luminaries of
our time. So come behind thevelvet ropes with me and see
(00:22):
inside my world as I chatinsider style with profoundly
gifted souls, we go deep, sharejuicy stories, laugh a lot, and
it wouldn't be a speakeasywithout great insider secrets
and tips. You might even learnthat you have some gifts of your
own. So step inside the spiritspeakeasy. Hey, beautiful soul.
(00:43):
Welcome in for another episodeof spirit speakeasy. So we are
rolling into that stretch oftime on the calendar that is
Mother's Day and Father's Daythrough this season. And I
myself, like I do every singleyear around this time, start
getting a little pensive, alittle reflective, and I wanted
(01:04):
to sit down and have a realconversation with you guys
today, not a surface level one,but a real one. Because here's
what I know, after doing yearsof mediumship at this point,
after 1000s of readings after somany conversations in the
community, the broader communityof mediumship and people that
(01:26):
have lost loved ones, Mother'sDay and Father's Day are not
simple holidays for a lot ofpeople, and I really want to
acknowledge that right up frontbefore we get into anything
else. Not everyone has theirparents on this side. Not
everyone who is a parent hastheir children or child on this
side. For some of us, therelationship that exists or once
(01:49):
existed wasn't the kind thatgreeting cards are written about
and songs are sung sung about.
Some of us are carrying quietgrief this time of year, some of
us are carrying complicatedgrief. Some of us are carrying
the grief of a relationship thatfeels incomplete or that was
(02:12):
estranged at the time of theperson's passing, or full of
things that were never said ornever received, right? And some
of us are carrying all of theabove. So if any of that sounds
like you, I just want you toknow that this episode is for
you. You belong in thisconversation. You are not an
(02:32):
afterthought here. You actuallyare. The whole reason I wanted
to do this episode, and I alsowant to say if you're someone
whose parents are here or whosechildren are here, and this
season is joyful for you. I lovethat too, and I really you know,
through this work, one of themany things I've learned is to
(02:52):
really differently, appreciatethe people that I do have, and
to express my love to thosepeople to the best of my
ability, and I want to tell youthat even if you have wonderful
relationships with people whoare still here on the earth
plane, that all of this appliesto you as well. So here's the
(03:13):
truth that my work has shown meagain and again and again, the
love that we share with thepeople in our lives, it doesn't
require a physical body for thatlove to continue, whether
someone passed away, whether arelationship is estranged,
whether you never got to meetyour parent or your child at
all. On this side on the earth,the energetic thread of love and
(03:38):
connection that exists betweenour souls is so real. It's
ongoing. And in so manyreadings, what I witness is this
unseen world that exists as justa world within our world, not
separate from this world, notseparate from us, not far away
in a different place in theclouds, like we sometimes are
(03:59):
taught to think, but the spiritworld is woven right into the
fabric of our everyday lives,and as part of that, our loved
ones on the other side are alsowoven in and spend time with us
in our day to day lives, ourpeople on the other side, they
see us. They know us. They feelour emotions. They are present
(04:22):
in moments in our lives, in away that is different than when
they were in the physicalcertainly, but not lesser. It's
just that we experience them ina different way. They're not
actually less present. Andsometimes what I witness in
readings tells me it can be evenmore expansive for some people,
(04:42):
and this is true, whether therelationship was deep and
beautiful and we got to reallyexperience time with that
person, or whether it wascomplicated and challenging and
incomplete. Those on the otherside have a perspective that the
living often don't get accessto. So they understand the
fuller picture. They see thecircumstances that shaped them
(05:06):
and the circumstances that shapeus. They get to understand the
relationship that they had withus. They get to feel our
emotions. They actually get tospend some time feeling
everyone's emotion that theyever created in someone else in
the world. So not only do theyfeel your emotions and all the
emotions that you ever had forthem or about them, but they get
(05:29):
to have that for every personthat they encountered while they
were on this side, which for me,is so profound and really helped
me understand that idea of thelife review, and helped me
deepen my understanding of why,when they do communicate through
readings, they are maybe alittle bit more of an evolved
version of themselves. They'renot holding on to anger or fear
(05:53):
or hard times. They're reallymore expanded, I guess is the
word I want to use, from thatperspective that they have
access to when you know we're nolonger contained in a physical
body and when we are our wholesoul self. So today we are going
to talk about some of that, andeven when love was hard to
(06:18):
access in the physical whatcomes through in readings is
love, and we're also going totalk about some really
beautiful, unexpected and deeplypersonal ways that people have
been honoring their parents,their children, and even
connected to pets. So thatcounts too here, especially
around this time of year, someof these stories were shared
(06:39):
with me through readings as myown experience. Some came from
clients, some came from friendsand friends of friends, and
honestly, some of the stories Ihave come from people who just
told me their story in themiddle of life, in a random
moment, because that's just kindof how my life works. People
share incredible stories with mereally frequent me, and I love
(07:03):
it. Now, before I get into thesestories, I do want to quickly
mention that this is actuallythe third time I have sat down
to talk about this general themearound parents days, Mother's
Day, Father's Day, and I want tomake sure you know where to find
those other two conversations,even if you haven't heard them
yet. Way back in June of 2024 Idid an episode called Love
(07:24):
remembered creative and uniquekeepsakes from beyond. That's
episode 77 and in that one, Ishared a whole collection of
beautiful, creative, tangibleways to memorialize and honor
our loved ones, things likememory books and journaling
prompts and everything you canmake out of fabric for keepsakes
and family recipe projects andspecial different creative types
(07:47):
of jewelry you can make to honorloved ones, and even some ideas
about new traditions andcreating heirlooms that you can
create now for futuregenerations yourself. So if you
have not heard that one yet. Goback and listen. It's really
rich and full of ideas andthings that'll kind of get your
(08:08):
curiosity and your creativitystirring. And so many people
have told me that that episodemeant a lot to them and changed
what they are starting to do togive to future generations. And
then the other episode isDecember 2025 it's episode 148.
Was called 14 surprisinglymeaningful ways to honor loved
(08:28):
ones in spirit. And that onewent deep into intuitive
everyday practices and ritualslike living memory, shelves and
continuation, letters andessence inspired playlists and
legacy boxes and spirit dinners,really creative and personal
ways to weave your loved oneinto your ongoing life in ways
(08:50):
that feel alive, not frozen inthe past. Both of those episodes
are going to be linked in theshow notes wherever you are
listening to or watching thisepisode, and you can find all of
the episodes, of course, on mywebsite, joyful medium.com, in
the blog section, or you cansearch wherever you normally
listen. Apple podcast, Spotify,YouTube, all the places. So
(09:11):
today, what I want to do issomething a little different
than those. I want to share somestories with you, stories of how
real people, people in my world,people I've met or who've sat
across from me in readings, havehonored their parents and their
children in the spirit world inways that really stuck with me
or stopped me in my tracks, waysthat were so personal, so unique
(09:35):
and unexpected and full of love,that I just have to share them
with you, and then I want totalk about what I've actually
witnessed in this work, whatcomes through in readings around
these holidays, and what ourloved ones on the other side are
actually experiencing aroundMother's Day, Father's Day
birthdays, those kinds ofcelebrations. Because I think it
(09:57):
might surprise you, and I thinkit might really bring. Some
comfort. So let's get into it.
Okay, the first story that Iwant to share came through a
reading that I did for a parentthat had lost their child. And
honestly, I think about this, itcomes to my mind from time to
time. This was a very all thereadings are special, but this
(10:18):
one detail and memory really hasstuck with me as a part of this
reading when I was working withthe parent, actually, this one
was over zoom, and the child inthe spirit world, who was
communicating shared the mostbeautiful imagery with me. I
could see in my mind's eye thatwe were standing on a dirt
(10:39):
trail, kind of that orange,really rich dirt. And I knew
that we were walking kind ofhigher up, the kind of trail
that you get to after a longwalk through really lush
greenery. And I could see all ofthis beautiful, vibrant green
foliage around us, leaves andtree tops, and the way I was
(11:01):
experiencing the Green was sovibrant that it was almost like
too green to be real. And thenwhat opened up in my mind's eye,
and all of this happens just ina very split second in
mediumship, just so you know, mykind of, my viewfinder, in my
mind was open to this incrediblescene where we're standing, and
(11:21):
we finally climb up to the topof that dirt trail. We're
standing on this beautifullookout, and below I can see the
most perfect, impossible blueocean stretching out farther
than the eye could see, justkind of dipping off into that
horizon. It was just endless,and all of this beautiful beach
below with white sand and wavesjust gently crashing, and I
(11:47):
could feel the beautiful, warmtropical breeze as I was looking
and this clear, crystal clear,beautiful blue sky above us, and
the emotion that this kiddo wasgiving was just pure joy, pure
love, pure happiness, thisfeeling of like, This is my
(12:07):
place. This is where I feel mostalive. I love it here so much
like that kind of joy and theemotion. And as I was sharing it
with my client, they said, Yes,actually, they had the family
took a trip to Hawaii. Because Ithink I might have even said, as
part of this, like this, thismust be Hawaii, this place. He
knows this place very well. Haveyou guys been to this place?
(12:30):
This feels like a memory, andthen there's an encouragement
with it. And they said, Yes, thefamily had taken a big trip a
while back to Hawaii together,and my client knew the exact
spot that I was describing, thather kiddo was relaying to me,
and told me, like, Yeah, I knowthe spot you're experiencing. We
have a photo of it even. Andthat trip had gotten into this
(12:53):
kiddo soul in a way that neverleft. Hawaii was the dream. It
was the place that, as a family,they talked about going back to
that they really said, you know,someday we're going to take
another trip there all together.
And this kiddo on the otherside, then in the next part of
the communication was helping mefeel and understand this deep
(13:16):
encouragement and excitement forthe parent to go back to take a
trip of their own back to thismagical place. Do that hike
again? Really spend time in theenergy of the the islands,
right? And I'll be there withyou. And I really am so excited
for you to return. So as I saidthat to my client, kind of
(13:39):
passed it along that there'slike this real encouragement and
excitement around you taking atrip and fulfilling that family
trip we talked about, is thatsomething that you're thinking
of is that already, you know, isthat already on your mind? Is
this coming as a newannouncement to you? And as I
said that, the parent justsmiled and said, like, Well,
funny that you mentioned thatactually, that is exactly my
(14:01):
plan. They were already planningto go for Parents Day, right?
Either Mother's Day or Father'sDay, and they were explaining to
me that it was going to be apilgrimage. That really was the
only word for it. And I want toacknowledge, of course, that
this one maybe isn't somethingeveryone can do, because travel
costs, what it costs what itcosts. I completely understand
(14:23):
that. But for this parent, itwas non negotiable. They even
saved for several years to makesure they could go back to the
same island to pick a hotel thatthey were really excited about,
to really make the trip feelfunds, maybe not the right word,
but meaningful in all the ways.
And like I said, I know it's notfor everyone, but this person
(14:43):
really felt like they needed togo and stand in the place that
their child had loved so deeply,breathe in that air, look out
over that lookout point at thetop of that hike, over that
endless, Perfect Blue Sea as itkissed that beautiful light
blue. Sky and to be there withtheir kiddo again, just in a
different way. And I think aboutthat moment a lot, stepping off
(15:06):
that plane, what they must havefelt like as that warm Hawaiian
air just rushes against theirbody and face, knowing exactly
why they were there and exactlywhat they were there to do. And
that's kind of love with legs,right? That is saying your
dreams still matter. It'stelling your loved one. I'm
(15:27):
going to do this thing that wetalked about still, and I'm
going to bring you with me, justin a different way. I'm going to
live this one for you, with you,just in a different way now. So
I really loved that example ofone way to honor something we've
done before with our kiddo, orsomething that they had wanted
to do with this specificfamily's story, just because it
(15:49):
was so profound, and actuallyseveral months later, because
the trip had been, you know, Iread for them a few months
before the holiday they weregoing for they did send me a
photo of them at this lookoutpoint, and they said, this is,
this is the place you wereexperiencing, and see how much
it's like you described, whichwas so cool, like, not everyone
(16:10):
shares those things, which istotally fine. It's not expected
at all. But when people do sharethose follow ups, it is always
really, as you might imagine,fun for me to get to see. So the
next story that I want to sharehits a little differently, and
honestly it kind of broke myheart in the best way when I
heard it. This one was a parentwho had lost a daughter, a mom
(16:36):
and daughter, and her daughterhad this favorite artist that
she really loved, like a musicalartist, and absolutely loved
them. Would dance and jump onthe bed and sing and play, and
really loved this musicalartist, and at some point, the
artist was going on tour andplaying at an amphitheater not
(16:59):
too far from the mom thisperson, and this was when the
mom decided she was going tothis concert. Now, this was way
outside of her comfort zone. Sheis not one for crowds. If you've
ever been to a big show or a bigvenue, you know, it's a lot of
people, it's a lot of pushing,it's a lot of hustle and bustle,
(17:20):
it's loud, it's so much energy,right? And this person's very
energetically sensitive, so thiswas, like, all the way outside
of her comfort zone. This wasnot her scene at all, and it was
not even her music, and not thekind of thing she would ever do
on her own. But she decided thatday when she saw the
(17:41):
announcement of like, the showand the tickets being sold, she
thought to herself, like, Okay,I'm gonna do it. This is a nudge
for my daughter. I know this isher favorite band. They haven't
come here in a long time, or herfavorite artist, I should say.
And it's not that far. It'sdriving distance. I feel really
uncomfortable about this, but Iknow she always wanted me to get
(18:02):
out of my comfort zone and havemore fun, and she was always
encouraging me. And the truthis, her daughter, when she's on
this side, she still is, butwhen she's on this side, is such
a bright light, and alwayswanting to include people and
getting people out of theircomfort zone. But like in the
best way, she reminds me ofsomeone who like when there's
like a wedding and there's acouple of people sitting on the
(18:24):
side and not dancing, but youcan tell they want to dance.
She's that person who would goover and grab them by the hand
and dance with them in a waythat felt comfortable for them,
and really make them enjoy theirtime. It's just who she is as a
person. So mom decides I amgoing to get myself together and
do this. She immediately aftershe saw the tickets, calls up
(18:48):
her best friend, which alsohappens to be her cousin, her
closest person that was alsovery close with her daughter,
and tells her, you're comingwith me. I know this is not
really our thing. We're going toget our stuff together and we're
going to go to this, and I'mbuying our tickets right now.
And can you go? Here's the date.
And of course, the cousin said,Yes, I'm down to do this. Let's
(19:12):
go. The cousin is a littleolder, so older than my clients,
so not necessarily her genre ofmusic either. But was like, hey,
if this is for our girl, we'regonna do this, and we're gonna
have a great time. So the two ofthem decided to go together. And
they didn't just go, they wentfull out, which is amazing. So
(19:35):
she wore her daughter's jacket,like a jacket that her daughter
loved. She put on her daughter'searrings, like these really kind
of cool, artsy, chunky earringsthat the daughter loved. And she
showed up with her daughter'ssoul, in her daughter's style,
in her daughter's world. And shewas telling me, at first, like
(19:57):
at first she was almost having apain. Panic attack. It was so
many people. It was so muchgoing on. It was really intense
from her perspective. And shesaid that she had to, like,
breathe, take her time. She didsome grounding work. She
grounded herself. She kind ofput her own bubble of light
around her, and just took hertime to kind of settle in. And
(20:21):
then she said, as she shiftedout of that anxious space into a
place of like, you know whatthis is excitement. This is not
something to be anxious about.
This is other people'sexcitement. This is their love.
She started to be able to, Iteach this in my classes, so
this is why we were talkingabout this. So she started to be
able to feel all the love, allthe happiness, all the
celebration in the room. And shealso said she started to kind of
(20:45):
feel and sense her daughter andher daughter's excitement as she
settled down within herself andas she looked around the crowd.
As you can imagine, if you'veever seen a packed amphitheater,
there's almost like that misty,smoky fog that they send out
with the lights shooting acrossit, and there's just this
(21:05):
pulsing vibration from the crowdand from the base that she could
feel coming through her boots,even she was telling me that as
as she really just almost likestepped outside of herself and
took in the whole big picture ofeverything. She said she really
even more so could feel herdaughter there, not just
(21:27):
imagined her, but like felt her,and that particular type of
warmth and closeness that said,like, hey mom, I'm here so
happy. And just then they kindof made that crack of the drum
when it's going to start and theartist's going to come out, and
the music, and we're doing alight show, and this, like
screen behind that has apresentation on it. And just
(21:50):
then the music started, and shecould really differently, feel
all of the energy and the energyof the music and the words of
the song. And she told me thather and her cousin, like she
said, we laughed, we cried, wesang as loud as we could to any
of the songs that we knew, eventhe chorus of, and she said she
(22:11):
knew, she just knew that herdaughter was so proud of her and
that she was right there, havinga blast alongside them. I love
this story so much because it'snot about doing something
comfortable or something tidy orsomething where we are just
alone in our room. It's aboutstepping out of her own comfort
(22:33):
zone into her loved one's world,out of love, out of wanting
connection. It's about saying, Iwant to know what lit you up. I
want to experience something youloved. I want to feel all of
this too. And I think that'ssuch a special way that a person
can do something for and with aloved one who is already crossed
(22:55):
over, which I think, is justsuch a special way to continue
that relationship and continuethat connection. And so I love
the story, and it doesn't haveto be a fancy concert like that.
It could be like a free concertin the park. It could be
something that doesn't costanything, which is why I want to
give some different examples ofexperiences and stories again,
(23:19):
just because I know the trip,the Hawaii trip, that's
expensive, but something likejust going to see a free musical
show that doesn't cost anything,and it's the same level of
connection that we can have withour loved ones on the other
side. So this next story is whatI have to tell you, like kind of
(23:40):
carefully. It's a reallybeautiful story, but it's very
layered, and it touches intoboth honoring a loved one,
honoring ourself and healing,which is part of why I'm doing
this episode, right? So theclient sitting across for me is
the daughter in this story, andher father had crossed over
(24:02):
somewhat unexpectedly. Now I'vebeen coaching with this client
for a while, and have to tellyou, she is sassy as hell in her
own personality. She is a strongperson. She's a leader, she's
determined, but also highlysensitive and really feels kind
of everything and so as we hadworked on this relationship, as
(24:23):
we had worked on all therelationships in her life,
because personal development iswhat helps open and nurture and
continue to deepen our spiritualgifts, she we were diving a
little deeper into thisrelationship with Her dad, who
had crossed over not long ago,somewhat unexpectedly, and the
truth is, their relationship hadbeen really complicated. For
(24:46):
most of her life. There had beenlong stretches of estrangement
where they didn't speak at all,other times where they were
barely speaking just a few timesa year. And she really almost
like I. Actual physical weightsat the gym on her shoulders, she
really felt that she carried theweight of what didn't happen in
(25:07):
their relationship, therelationship she wished they
had, and the truth of how itwas. And she, in this session,
was telling me, you know, when Iwas a kid, I just really always
felt like my dad preferred workthan being with the family, and
didn't engage really, and Idon't feel like he saw us or
(25:29):
paid attention to us, but was sofocused on work. And then when
her parents divorced, she kindof didn't see her dad in the
same way, with the samefrequency that she did, you
know, when they were all livingtogether, and she was saying
that it was so hard because, asso many of us experience, there
(25:49):
was no happy reunion before hepassed away. There was no big
reconciliation scene. There wasno, you know, like in the movies
her getting the closure and theapologies and the
acknowledgement that she feltlike she really needed from him.
He crossed over really suddenly,and then that was that. But
here's what she did, which is socool as part of her own healing
(26:13):
process. Right? Healing is anongoing process, as we know,
part of our coaching worktogether and part of her own
healing journey. And I want tounderline this, that this is her
own healing process for herself.
So she started, we were doingthe emotional side of it and the
energy side of the work, and aspart of that, she felt inspired
(26:34):
to do some research into who herfather actually was, like. Where
did he come from? What was hischildhood like, what was the
time period he grew up inunderstanding more about that
whole family dynamic, which shedidn't know a ton about, and she
really wanted to understand whatshaped him, and in learning more
about her dad's story, thecircumstances he grew up in, the
(26:56):
things he was never taught theway it was for men of his
generation. She really said thatshe found out some of the wounds
that he himself carried, that henever shared or never
articulated because he didn'tlike to talk about emotions or
the past at all, and she saidshe began to understand some of
(27:18):
why he was the way that he was,not to excuse it, not to erase
the past or the hurt, but tounderstand it better. And from
that understanding, she said,eventually she she found, and
continues to find, some versionof peace. She was able to let go
of her anger and stopped lettingthe past hold her back, is the
(27:41):
way she says it. Now, the truthis, my client had no physical
items from her father. This isso common, right? Often because
of estrangement or just becauseof the way it goes. We don't
have tangible items of ourspirit person. She had no photos
of her own. She had no physicalitems. She had no like magical
(28:03):
watch that came to her in someestate. She didn't have any of
that. She had nothing at all.
And one day, she travels a lotfor work. She was in New York
City, which, you know, I got,you guys know, hopefully now I
love and the city is a littlebit gritty. It's a little bit
gray. It's very hustle andbustle and people walking, and
they're on a mission, andthey're trying to go somewhere,
(28:26):
and they're moving right. But onthis day, she had some extra
time, so she decided to walkfrom one meeting to the next,
just in a casual way. And as shewas walking, she was enjoying,
you know, the architecture andthe scenery and kind of doing a
little people watching. And shesaid, just as part of, kind of
strolling through the city, shehad a few hours to get somewhere
(28:49):
that was only going to take herabout 20 minutes to walk. So she
was really taking her time. Andthought, you know, maybe I'll
have some lunch or grab a coffeeor something. And as she's
walking through the city, withall the busyness, all the taxis
going by and the horns honkingand the soot coming out of
everywhere, and the people youknow kind of trying to be like
(29:11):
ants go around each other andpushing by, she just so happened
to walk by a pawn shop wheresomething about the shine of the
window just made her look in andinside that pawn shop window,
she saw sitting on a little redvelvet pillow right towards the
back of the window, a pair ofgold cufflinks, perfectly etched
(29:34):
with little designs and sittingOn that cushy Little Red Velvet
pillow with those intricatecarving designs and tiny little
sapphires on the side justsparkling away. And she said it
stopped her dead in her tracks,because she said they looked so
similar to the cufflinks sheremembered on her father's crisp
(29:55):
white shirts. And. When she wasa kiddo, that the kind of detail
you don't forget. She said shecould imagine in her mind's eye,
in that moment, she had a flashof those crisp white shirts that
he would wear with the crispcuffs on the sleeve and those
cufflinks just right there, andshe could almost imagine his
(30:16):
big, chunky hands, is the way,she said it, with the crisp
sleeve of his shirt and thosecufflinks right on there. And
she said they were very uniquelooking, the ones that he had,
and so unique and specific, soparticular that she said it's
hard to even explain to someonewho never saw her dad's, because
(30:37):
they're just very unique. And soshe was telling me that she felt
like in that moment, the way itcaught her eye, the way that she
was drawn into that window tolook, she felt like it was a
sign, a sign from her dad, thathe understood her, that he was
wanting to make peace with hertoo, in some way, that he saw
the work that she had done Andthat he loved her, and so she
(31:00):
went inside, and as luck orserendipity or spirit would have
it, they were on sales. Now thepawn shops are often doing
sales, and she bought them, andshe actually made them into
earrings for herself. So thetruth is, she had nothing of her
father's like we were talkingabout not a single item, but she
(31:20):
found her own way to createsomething, something just for
her, a private, sacred littlepiece of her father's memory
that she gets to carry in theworld. And she can choose to
tell people or not tell people,but no one would ever know what
this means truly means to her,and I almost get a little
(31:42):
emotional every time I tell thisstory, which isn't often,
because it's such a perfectexample of how the love is still
there, how healing is stillpossible, even after the person
is no longer physically with us,and how when we open our hearts
and work on our own healing andunderstanding, our own emotions,
the spirit world seems to alwaysfind a way to meet us. So I
(32:05):
really love her story, and it'sso like her personality, that
she found something so uniqueand special and then used her
own creative genius to turn itinto something that felt
authentic to her. So I just lovethat story. I also wanted to
share a couple more, almost likecommunity style honoring ideas
(32:25):
that I've witnessed, becausesometimes the most healing thing
to do is when we can bring inmore than just ourselves, right?
Healing can also happentogether. So I want to tell you
quickly a story about a familythat I had the honor of working
with, and this was a family withthree sweet little kids, all
(32:45):
under the age of 12 when I metthem, and they had lost their
mom. My client in this case wasthe dad, the husband, and it had
only been a couple years sincetheir mom's passing, and the mom
as as was coming forward in thereading in the session, her and
the dad had been high schoolsweethearts, and they had
(33:09):
created this beautiful littlelife together in the town that
they grew up in or very closeto, or is like very small town,
feel very neighbors waving andsaying hello to each other. Very
much community effort. And whenit would have bad weather, for
example, like everyone would goout and be part of shoveling or
(33:31):
sweeping or raking or whateverthe case was for the season. So
she really was not only animportant person in this family,
but such an important and wellloved person in the community.
And one of the sweet detailsthat came up as part of the
reading was how much she lovedflowers, and how much you know,
(33:51):
her husband would always bringher flowers early in their
relationship, and it would bedifferent flowers for different
events and different occasions,and she loved to wear things
with flowers on them. And shealso, as part of this, was a
really avid gardener, and shehad this, she kept showing me in
the memory, the way she wasdoing her gardening with this,
(34:13):
like, beautiful, big sun hat andthis kind of, like flowy shirt
that she would wear, and thesethick Canvas garden gloves, and
she was also, right before herpassing, teaching the kids to
garden. And one of the thingsthey had started doing in the
last few years that she had onthis side was filling their
front yard with flowers. So theywould plant all these different
(34:37):
flowers, do all the seeds in theyard that they had, and she was
teaching the kids, and thenthey'd watch the flowers grow.
And for the last few years ofher life, in the springtime,
when all the flowers wouldbloom, they would go outside and
cut all the flowers, and thenthey would put them into these
little bouquets. She's verycrafty. As part of this I
learned she put them. All intothese little bouquets of, like,
(35:00):
sweet little springtime flowers,and for, like, Spring Summer,
depending on how the weather wasthat year, she would pass them
out to all of her neighbors.
She'd go just put them in theirmailbox or on their front door,
because she really loved, notonly like loving her love of
flowers, but she wanted to gether kids involved and share
(35:23):
spreading love to the communityin sweet little ways, because
this is just the person that shewas. So what had happened on
this particular year a coupleyears after her passing, is that
the kids decided that they weregoing to do something in her
honor, the dad, she was teasinghim through the reading. He's a
(35:43):
terrible gardener. He had triedto do the flower thing. It
really wasn't working. It justwas making him more sad and
frustrated to be trying to doit. He didn't love it. And so
instead, the kids had this idea.
My guess is that it was theoldest kiddo that, like spurred
this on, but she was givingcredit to all of them, of
course. And she said that theyfor several months when they go
(36:06):
on walks together, because thedad would take them on evening
walks and or walks home fromschool and things, they were
collecting rocks because theywanted to paint these rocks, was
their idea. So they'd beencarefully collecting rocks from
the neighborhood, the park, thebeach, anywhere that they found
them. And they would take themhome and they wash them and kind
(36:27):
of put them on this little onelittle pile that they had. And
then when time rolled around,like around Mother's Day or
Father's Day, whenever it wasthat they'd normally do the
flowers, the kids got out alltheir craft supplies and covered
their dining room table withpaper, and brought out all their
paints and their arts andcrafts, and spread the rocks all
(36:47):
over the table. And they hadquite a few collected, and they
decided to paint the rocks, eachrock with different little
flowers, almost like littlebouquets on the rocks
themselves. And then they letthem dry in the windows. So they
painted them so carefully, oneby one, with very delicate
(37:09):
flowers, each helping the other.
The older kids helped thelittle. And once they dried,
they had this sweet little kindof like one of those red flyer
style wagons, like a little redmetal wagon that was in the
garage. And one by one, theycarried all these rocks out and
(37:30):
gently placed them in theirlittle red wagon. And then the
three kiddos together pulledthis wagon around the
neighborhood, and in each yardor flower bed or garden, or even
just like on the front lawnaround the neighborhood, they
placed their special rocks inhonor of their mom and in honor
(37:53):
of carrying on this tradition ina different way of spreading
love and flowers and colorthrough the neighborhood. So
these little surprises of colorplaced gently on the earth,
spread out throughout thecommunity as a way of continuing
her tradition, honoring her andwho she was in the community.
Her love was very wide. Itspread so far across the whole
(38:18):
neighborhood, and that act ofpainting and placing and going
out together. I can't evenimagine how special that was for
the whole community, and, ofcourse, for the kids themselves,
to have a different way thatfelt true to them, to honor
their mom and to give somethingspecial to the community, in
(38:40):
honor of her, because she wassuch a special part of that
community. And you know, I knowpainting rocks isn't for
everyone, and I know noteveryone loves flowers, but I
thought that was just such aspecial, unique and personal way
to carry on a tradition, butjust in in a new way that made
sense for the family. Now, maybethey'll do it every year, maybe
(39:01):
they won't, maybe they'll dosome just for themselves, but
how special that they were ableto do that, and how special that
the mom knew all about itthrough her reading. Okay, I
want to shift a little. I knowthat these are about individual
families. But I also have knownlike we're talking about
(39:24):
community and healing beingimportant part of the community.
Sometimes I've also known groupsof people who do bonfires. Here
in Southern California, we canhave bonfires on the beach. Some
people do them in theirbackyards, if that's safe and a
little like fire pits typeenclosure fire safety, please
asterisk here. So I know somepeople that do bonfires where
(39:46):
they have the bonfire, maybethey're doing a celebration or a
barbecue of some kind or not,and they write messages to the
person they've lost, and thegroup together, whether it's
they've lost a parent or a childor a grandparent. Parent or a
friend or just a strongcommunity member, and they
release those messages thatthey've written on the little
(40:07):
paper into the fire, almost as away of giving them over to their
loved one on the other side, andtrying to release a little bit
more of their grief. And there'ssomething about fire as a mode
of releasing, transforming thatelement of Fire really just felt
(40:28):
so right for several people thatI've known that have done this.
And so when you release thepaper in it's to them, it's for
yourself. And both of these areso beautiful because they're not
solitary. They bring peopletogether. So I can even think
of, you know, ways that we canuse just these two examples of,
(40:51):
you know, maybe there's ateacher that's been lost and the
kids in the class can all paintsomething together. Or maybe
there's a community member thatis no longer with us, that we
can do something that representswho they were, or a way to come
together to honor them. Therereally is such power in
togetherness as a part of Griefand Healing. And of course, it's
(41:13):
not the entirety of the journey.
There's many levels and aspectsto a grief journey, but it can
be such a beautiful healingelement. Okay, I want to shift
quickly into something that Ithink is going to mean a lot to
some of you, because after allof that, all of these beautiful
ways of honoring, I want to talkabout some things that I've
actually witnessed in readingsaround these holidays, Mother's
(41:35):
Day, Father's Day, GrandparentsDay, even birthdays. Because one
of the questions I get asked sooften, in some variety or
another, is some version of, dothey know, do my loved ones on
the other side know my feelings?
Do they still feel me? Are theyaware of us on these special
(41:56):
days? Do they know what I'mdoing in memory of them, or even
the thoughts that I'm thinking,the love that I'm sending. And I
want to answer that for mydirect experience as a working
medium, the answer is yes, theyare aware, and I have some
receipts for you. I want toshare a reading that I did not
too long ago. I'm going tochange some of the details here
(42:18):
to protect a privacy as I alwaysdo, my client had lost her mom,
and her mom was one of thosespecial women. I think we all
know a woman like this somewherein our life at some point, and
this woman was somehoweveryone's mom, not just her own
kids, not just her own family,but the whole extended family,
(42:42):
to all the friends, to the wholecommunity, to anyone who came
into her orbit. She was theheartbeat of this whole
community of people. She hadraised so many kids. She had so
many people in and out of herhouse as just her, her
generosity of spirit, if theywere having a dinner or a meal,
(43:04):
there was always enough toshare. There were often, they
lovingly call them strays likethere were often, like people
who didn't have a place to gofor a holiday or a place to go
for dinner, just at her house,it was always extra seats
crammed into that old diningroom table that they all sat
around. And as part of that, shewas also going to not be afraid
(43:25):
to tell you about yourself, ifshe liked something you were
doing. She would tell you if shedid not like something you were
doing, she would tell you atrue, loved, respected, powerful
elder in the community. Andafter she crossed over, did a
long life and a heart illness inthe last part of her life, which
was very hard for my client asher daughter and one of the
(43:48):
people who moved in to help takecare of her in the last part of
her life, this woman was sobeloved to the community, but
after she crossed over, myclient started trying to
organize. This is what camethrough in the reading, her mom
was saying she's trying toorganize a family gathering in
her mom's honor, exactly thekind of thing that her mother
(44:09):
would have loved, bringingeveryone together, keeping the
family connected, keeping peoplehearing the stories of our
family and of our community, andjust having a good time, because
the way this mom would wouldshare it, and the way she shared
it with me, from the spiritworld, is like often life is
hard and challenging, thingscome up for all of us. So when
(44:31):
we have those moments where wecan create togetherness, where
we can create just a singlemoment of exhale, of like in
this moment, everything's okay,and we have enough to eat, and
we have people around us, and wecan celebrate that. So she would
have so loved this. She wascommunicating to me that her
daughter was trying to do this,almost family reunion, but more
(44:52):
of a gathering, and her, whenher mom was communicating in the
reading, she was so present, soherself, so SAS. Be so clear the
way she was in life, is what herdaughter was telling me. And she
was fully aware of everythingthat was going on with this
gathering. She knew who in thefamily was cooperating. She knew
who was being difficult, andhonestly, she was a little bit,
(45:16):
let's call it, opinionated, orhad some strong things to share
about the whole situation,because she was still herself.
She was still who she was as apersonality and as a soul, still
the woman who knew everyone'sbusiness and had something to
say about it, and she wassharing with my client that
like, Hey, I know who all thesepeople in the family are. I KNOW
(45:39):
the ONE aunt that's going tohave a problem with everything
that we do, who's not going tolike the time that we set it up,
the location that it is, thewho's making the food. This aunt
just always has a problem withsomething or everything. And my
client was laughing almost tothe point of tears, because she
was like, I know exactly who shemeans. And then there was
(45:59):
another family member that wasalways late. Always expected
everyone to cater for them.
Would be upset if we didn'tchange the time because they
were running a couple hourslate. And always was being a
little bit dramatic. And she waslike, Oh my gosh, I know exactly
who this is, too. So it wasreally fun for her mom to get to
communicate that she does knowwhat's happening in the family
(46:20):
with this specific event, andthat she knows who these people
are and how they're going tobehave and how they're going to
show up, and that's all part ofit. So it was really beautiful
that she was still the samewoman and helped me express this
part of her personality. Butwhat she really wanted to
communicate through giving allof these details was, keep
going. Keep going with this. Dothis event. Invite everyone you
(46:45):
want to invite. Don't give up,because some people are not
cooperating. These people nevercooperate with anything. But
part of what she then shiftedinto, which sometimes I
jokingly, lovingly say is, likesome people have like, a tough
love segment of their reading.
And this was her mom giving hera little bit of tough love
(47:07):
because she was sharing, like,whoever shows up will have a
wonderful time together, andwhoever wants to be complaining
or griping, just let them dotheir own thing. That's part of
why I love them and who theyare. And then she said something
that has really stayed with mein a beautiful way. She had me
remind her daughter that thisgathering wasn't just to honor
(47:30):
her mom, it was for her as thedaughter too, because this
daughter was missing not justher mom, but her whole family.
Her mom was the glue thateveryone came to the dinners
for, that everyone stopped by tosee, that everyone wanted wisdom
and advice from but once her momhad crossed over, the daughter
(47:50):
felt like she lost that sense oftogetherness, and she was
feeling really lonely, and shewas feeling really She's not the
type of person to like reach outand ask other people to come
over, or ask people for help.
And her mom wanted her to knowthat from the spirit world, she
saw that she felt her daughter'sfeelings. She was aware of how
much she missed thistogetherness of community. And
(48:12):
she wanted her daughter to know,hey, this is something you need
too. It's not just somethingyou're doing for me, it's okay
that you need this family andwant to still create
togetherness with these people.
And her daughter was so movedthat her mom knew that it was
really for both of them and thatshe deeply needed to be around
(48:36):
the family still. So that is thelevel of presence and awareness
that I get to witness again andagain from the spirit world.
They know us. They're spendingtime with us in our lives.
They're cheering us on. They arestill their personality. They
still know what is going on inthe family, and they know what
(48:57):
we need. I also want to mentionsomething that I get asked about
a lot that feels relevant tothis topic, and that is pets. So
many of you have fur babies andanimal friends that have been
such a part of your life, andsometimes the truth is we have a
family member, a parent, achild, someone else, that
crosses over, that leaves behinda pet. And so while this episode
(49:21):
is not specifically a petsepisode, this is just something
that spirit has been nudging meto include in this episode. So
I'm doing it. I've come I've hadthis come through in so many
readings. I've come across thisin so many different ways. A
loved one's crossing over andcoming through with the message,
the Thank you, the love. Andsometimes, as part of the
(49:43):
communication, they will theywill share something to the
effect of thank you for takingcare of my dog. So sometimes
I've had it lots of ways. I'vehad it where they'll acknowledge
I crossed over, and this is theperson that took my dog or my
pet, my cat. What? Ever it mightbe. I've had them also share,
(50:03):
hey, you just lost a dog or adog that you lost a long time
ago. I have that dog or cat orpet or animal with me. So
sometimes they'll share thatthey have the animal on behalf
of their loved one who is onthis side. And really it's such
a sensitive topic that sometimesit'll even come through more
(50:25):
often than you'd expect, assomeone having to rehome
someone's pet after they passaway, and even then, they will
come through and acknowledgeeither you couldn't keep this
animal it was too hard. Theywant you to release a sense of
guilt. They want you to knowthat they're not judging you or
upset from the other side, thatthey genuinely understand they
(50:48):
see enough the fullness of thesituation. So I had one recently
where it was a parent, an in lawparent, that passed over and my
client, they wanted to let themknow like, Hey, I know that it's
really busy at home right now,and the kids are small, and
there's a lot going on. And Iknow that it broke your heart
that you just couldn't keep mypet. You just couldn't, and I
(51:09):
know that you couldn't findsomeone in our family to take
this pet. We don't really haveanyone, and I know that you
rehomed it to someone else, andthat's okay. They're gonna be
okay. I'm okay. I understand thesituation, because they really
wanted to lift off of theirheart that grief that they were
carrying. So just so you know,when someone passes and they
(51:33):
leave behind a pet, the peopleleft behind sometimes have to
make really hard decisions.
That's just part of our humanexperience and the guilt around
that can be significant. And Ican't tell you how often it
comes through in readings, thisacknowledgement, this, please
release your guilt. It's okay. Iknow what's happening, and
they're not judging you. Theyare instead sending you love and
(51:55):
gratitude. And if you have losta furry loved one to the other
side, that furry loved one goesback with the family as well. So
if that's something you've beencarrying, I hope that hearing
this little tidbit about itbrings you some peace. Okay, so
I just want to close today theway that I've been thinking
about this all along, which isthis, the most important thing
(52:17):
for you to take away from thisepisode is that the love doesn't
end. It really doesn't whetheryour relationship with your
parent or your child waseverything you wanted it to be,
or whether it was one of thosecomplicated, painful, difficult,
challenging stories, the love isstill real. It's still alive,
because their soul is stillalive. It's just not in a
(52:41):
physical body. But they don't goanywhere. They're just right
here, still moving through theunseen world that exists right
within our world, feeling ouremotions, giving us compassion
and love and hellos. They seeyou trying. They know that you
are also on your own healingjourney. They see you going to
(53:04):
that concert in their favoritejacket, placing rocks in
people's gardens as a memorialto them, buying those cufflinks
at a pawn shop that you saw inthe window and making them your
own. They see that trip thatyou're taking. They see that
you're trying to gather thefamily together to honor them,
whatever it is you're doing,they see you and they know and
(53:26):
they are so with you in it. Andif you're someone who is
parenting children who are stillhere, and you're missing your
own parent for Mother's Day, orfather's father's day this year,
or if you're a parent who'smissing a child, please know
that the love you are puttinginto the world is felt both this
side and the other side, beyondthe veil. So I'm thinking of all
(53:50):
of you as we move through thisseason. I'm holding each of you
in my heart, and if any of thesestories sparked something in
you, or if you have your ownstory about the way you have
honored someone, memorializedthem, something you've done, or
a celebration that you want tohave, I would love to hear about
it. I feel like sharing theseways of memorializing and
(54:12):
remembering our loved onesreally helps others, maybe their
suffering and their grief, andone of these ideas will just
touch into their heart enoughlift a little bit of that grief
and give them something else towork with or focus on. So please
feel free to email those to mejoy at joyful medium.com I would
(54:32):
love it if you would leave acomment on YouTube. You could
leave it as a comment if youwant, or even just the word
spirit, or come find me onInstagram or Tiktok or Facebook
at joyful medium this community,you my spirit squad. You are the
reason that I do this, and yourstories matter so much to me.
You can find all of my episodes,including episodes 77 and 148
(54:56):
which I mentioned earlier.
Earlier at joyful medium.com inthe blog section, or you can
search spirit speakeasy whereveryou listen to get those
episodes. And again, I'm goingto link them in the show notes,
because there are some reallyawesome ways of doing memorials,
whether you have tangible itemsof someone or not. So if you're
(55:16):
looking for or curious aboutwhat you could do, or even what
you could start doing now, whileyou're still here to leave for
legacy for those that you love,those episodes are in the show
notes. So if this episode wasmeaningful to you, it would mean
so much to me if you shared itwith someone who you think needs
(55:36):
it right now, you never knowwho's carrying something quiet
this time of year, and just needsomeone to say, you belong in
this conversation too. So I amwishing you so much. Love,
beautiful soul. I will see youagain very soon. Big hugs. Bye
for now. From inside spiritspeakeasy, you.
Joy, hey, beautiful soul, welcome to
spirit. Speak Easy. I'm JoyGiovanni, joyful medium. I'm a
working psychic medium, energyhealer and spiritual gifts
mentor. This podcast is like aseat at the table in a secret
club, but with mediums, mysticsand the spiritual luminaries of
our time. So come behind thevelvet ropes with me and see
(00:22):
inside my world as I chatinsider style with profoundly
gifted souls, we go deep, sharejuicy stories, laugh a lot, and
it wouldn't be a speakeasywithout great insider secrets
and tips. You might even learnthat you have some gifts of your
own. So step inside the spiritspeakeasy. Hey, beautiful soul.
(00:43):
Welcome in for another episodeof spirit speakeasy. So we are
rolling into that stretch oftime on the calendar that is
Mother's Day and Father's Daythrough this season. And I
myself, like I do every singleyear around this time, start
getting a little pensive, alittle reflective, and I wanted
(01:04):
to sit down and have a realconversation with you guys
today, not a surface level one,but a real one. Because here's
what I know, after doing yearsof mediumship at this point,
after 1000s of readings after somany conversations in the
community, the broader communityof mediumship and people that
(01:26):
have lost loved ones, Mother'sDay and Father's Day are not
simple holidays for a lot ofpeople, and I really want to
acknowledge that right up frontbefore we get into anything
else. Not everyone has theirparents on this side. Not
everyone who is a parent hastheir children or child on this
side. For some of us, therelationship that exists or once
(01:49):
existed wasn't the kind thatgreeting cards are written about
and songs are sung sung about.
Some of us are carrying quietgrief this time of year, some of
us are carrying complicatedgrief. Some of us are carrying
the grief of a relationship thatfeels incomplete or that was
(02:12):
estranged at the time of theperson's passing, or full of
things that were never said ornever received, right? And some
of us are carrying all of theabove. So if any of that sounds
like you, I just want you toknow that this episode is for
you. You belong in thisconversation. You are not an
(02:32):
afterthought here. You actuallyare. The whole reason I wanted
to do this episode, and I alsowant to say if you're someone
whose parents are here or whosechildren are here, and this
season is joyful for you. I lovethat too, and I really you know,
through this work, one of themany things I've learned is to
(02:52):
really differently, appreciatethe people that I do have, and
to express my love to thosepeople to the best of my
ability, and I want to tell youthat even if you have wonderful
relationships with people whoare still here on the earth
plane, that all of this appliesto you as well. So here's the
(03:13):
truth that my work has shown meagain and again and again, the
love that we share with thepeople in our lives, it doesn't
require a physical body for thatlove to continue, whether
someone passed away, whether arelationship is estranged,
whether you never got to meetyour parent or your child at
all. On this side on the earth,the energetic thread of love and
(03:38):
connection that exists betweenour souls is so real. It's
ongoing. And in so manyreadings, what I witness is this
unseen world that exists as justa world within our world, not
separate from this world, notseparate from us, not far away
in a different place in theclouds, like we sometimes are
(03:59):
taught to think, but the spiritworld is woven right into the
fabric of our everyday lives,and as part of that, our loved
ones on the other side are alsowoven in and spend time with us
in our day to day lives, ourpeople on the other side, they
see us. They know us. They feelour emotions. They are present
(04:22):
in moments in our lives, in away that is different than when
they were in the physicalcertainly, but not lesser. It's
just that we experience them ina different way. They're not
actually less present. Andsometimes what I witness in
readings tells me it can be evenmore expansive for some people,
(04:42):
and this is true, whether therelationship was deep and
beautiful and we got to reallyexperience time with that
person, or whether it wascomplicated and challenging and
incomplete. Those on the otherside have a perspective that the
living often don't get accessto. So they understand the
fuller picture. They see thecircumstances that shaped them
(05:06):
and the circumstances that shapeus. They get to understand the
relationship that they had withus. They get to feel our
emotions. They actually get tospend some time feeling
everyone's emotion that theyever created in someone else in
the world. So not only do theyfeel your emotions and all the
emotions that you ever had forthem or about them, but they get
(05:29):
to have that for every personthat they encountered while they
were on this side, which for me,is so profound and really helped
me understand that idea of thelife review, and helped me
deepen my understanding of why,when they do communicate through
readings, they are maybe alittle bit more of an evolved
version of themselves. They'renot holding on to anger or fear
(05:53):
or hard times. They're reallymore expanded, I guess is the
word I want to use, from thatperspective that they have
access to when you know we're nolonger contained in a physical
body and when we are our wholesoul self. So today we are going
to talk about some of that, andeven when love was hard to
(06:18):
access in the physical whatcomes through in readings is
love, and we're also going totalk about some really
beautiful, unexpected and deeplypersonal ways that people have
been honoring their parents,their children, and even
connected to pets. So thatcounts too here, especially
around this time of year, someof these stories were shared
(06:39):
with me through readings as myown experience. Some came from
clients, some came from friendsand friends of friends, and
honestly, some of the stories Ihave come from people who just
told me their story in themiddle of life, in a random
moment, because that's just kindof how my life works. People
share incredible stories with mereally frequent me, and I love
(07:03):
it. Now, before I get into thesestories, I do want to quickly
mention that this is actuallythe third time I have sat down
to talk about this general themearound parents days, Mother's
Day, Father's Day, and I want tomake sure you know where to find
those other two conversations,even if you haven't heard them
yet. Way back in June of 2024 Idid an episode called Love
(07:24):
remembered creative and uniquekeepsakes from beyond. That's
episode 77 and in that one, Ishared a whole collection of
beautiful, creative, tangibleways to memorialize and honor
our loved ones, things likememory books and journaling
prompts and everything you canmake out of fabric for keepsakes
and family recipe projects andspecial different creative types
(07:47):
of jewelry you can make to honorloved ones, and even some ideas
about new traditions andcreating heirlooms that you can
create now for futuregenerations yourself. So if you
have not heard that one yet. Goback and listen. It's really
rich and full of ideas andthings that'll kind of get your
(08:08):
curiosity and your creativitystirring. And so many people
have told me that that episodemeant a lot to them and changed
what they are starting to do togive to future generations. And
then the other episode isDecember 2025 it's episode 148.
Was called 14 surprisinglymeaningful ways to honor loved
(08:28):
ones in spirit. And that onewent deep into intuitive
everyday practices and ritualslike living memory, shelves and
continuation, letters andessence inspired playlists and
legacy boxes and spirit dinners,really creative and personal
ways to weave your loved oneinto your ongoing life in ways
(08:50):
that feel alive, not frozen inthe past. Both of those episodes
are going to be linked in theshow notes wherever you are
listening to or watching thisepisode, and you can find all of
the episodes, of course, on mywebsite, joyful medium.com, in
the blog section, or you cansearch wherever you normally
listen. Apple podcast, Spotify,YouTube, all the places. So
(09:11):
today, what I want to do issomething a little different
than those. I want to share somestories with you, stories of how
real people, people in my world,people I've met or who've sat
across from me in readings, havehonored their parents and their
children in the spirit world inways that really stuck with me
or stopped me in my tracks, waysthat were so personal, so unique
(09:35):
and unexpected and full of love,that I just have to share them
with you, and then I want totalk about what I've actually
witnessed in this work, whatcomes through in readings around
these holidays, and what ourloved ones on the other side are
actually experiencing aroundMother's Day, Father's Day
birthdays, those kinds ofcelebrations. Because I think it
(09:57):
might surprise you, and I thinkit might really bring. Some
comfort. So let's get into it.
Okay, the first story that Iwant to share came through a
reading that I did for a parentthat had lost their child. And
honestly, I think about this, itcomes to my mind from time to
time. This was a very all thereadings are special, but this
(10:18):
one detail and memory really hasstuck with me as a part of this
reading when I was working withthe parent, actually, this one
was over zoom, and the child inthe spirit world, who was
communicating shared the mostbeautiful imagery with me. I
could see in my mind's eye thatwe were standing on a dirt
(10:39):
trail, kind of that orange,really rich dirt. And I knew
that we were walking kind ofhigher up, the kind of trail
that you get to after a longwalk through really lush
greenery. And I could see all ofthis beautiful, vibrant green
foliage around us, leaves andtree tops, and the way I was
(11:01):
experiencing the Green was sovibrant that it was almost like
too green to be real. And thenwhat opened up in my mind's eye,
and all of this happens just ina very split second in
mediumship, just so you know, mykind of, my viewfinder, in my
mind was open to this incrediblescene where we're standing, and
(11:21):
we finally climb up to the topof that dirt trail. We're
standing on this beautifullookout, and below I can see the
most perfect, impossible blueocean stretching out farther
than the eye could see, justkind of dipping off into that
horizon. It was just endless,and all of this beautiful beach
below with white sand and wavesjust gently crashing, and I
(11:47):
could feel the beautiful, warmtropical breeze as I was looking
and this clear, crystal clear,beautiful blue sky above us, and
the emotion that this kiddo wasgiving was just pure joy, pure
love, pure happiness, thisfeeling of like, This is my
(12:07):
place. This is where I feel mostalive. I love it here so much
like that kind of joy and theemotion. And as I was sharing it
with my client, they said, Yes,actually, they had the family
took a trip to Hawaii. Because Ithink I might have even said, as
part of this, like this, thismust be Hawaii, this place. He
knows this place very well. Haveyou guys been to this place?
(12:30):
This feels like a memory, andthen there's an encouragement
with it. And they said, Yes, thefamily had taken a big trip a
while back to Hawaii together,and my client knew the exact
spot that I was describing, thather kiddo was relaying to me,
and told me, like, Yeah, I knowthe spot you're experiencing. We
have a photo of it even. Andthat trip had gotten into this
(12:53):
kiddo soul in a way that neverleft. Hawaii was the dream. It
was the place that, as a family,they talked about going back to
that they really said, you know,someday we're going to take
another trip there all together.
And this kiddo on the otherside, then in the next part of
the communication was helping mefeel and understand this deep
(13:16):
encouragement and excitement forthe parent to go back to take a
trip of their own back to thismagical place. Do that hike
again? Really spend time in theenergy of the the islands,
right? And I'll be there withyou. And I really am so excited
for you to return. So as I saidthat to my client, kind of
(13:39):
passed it along that there'slike this real encouragement and
excitement around you taking atrip and fulfilling that family
trip we talked about, is thatsomething that you're thinking
of is that already, you know, isthat already on your mind? Is
this coming as a newannouncement to you? And as I
said that, the parent justsmiled and said, like, Well,
funny that you mentioned thatactually, that is exactly my
(14:01):
plan. They were already planningto go for Parents Day, right?
Either Mother's Day or Father'sDay, and they were explaining to
me that it was going to be apilgrimage. That really was the
only word for it. And I want toacknowledge, of course, that
this one maybe isn't somethingeveryone can do, because travel
costs, what it costs what itcosts. I completely understand
(14:23):
that. But for this parent, itwas non negotiable. They even
saved for several years to makesure they could go back to the
same island to pick a hotel thatthey were really excited about,
to really make the trip feelfunds, maybe not the right word,
but meaningful in all the ways.
And like I said, I know it's notfor everyone, but this person
(14:43):
really felt like they needed togo and stand in the place that
their child had loved so deeply,breathe in that air, look out
over that lookout point at thetop of that hike, over that
endless, Perfect Blue Sea as itkissed that beautiful light
blue. Sky and to be there withtheir kiddo again, just in a
different way. And I think aboutthat moment a lot, stepping off
(15:06):
that plane, what they must havefelt like as that warm Hawaiian
air just rushes against theirbody and face, knowing exactly
why they were there and exactlywhat they were there to do. And
that's kind of love with legs,right? That is saying your
dreams still matter. It'stelling your loved one. I'm
(15:27):
going to do this thing that wetalked about still, and I'm
going to bring you with me, justin a different way. I'm going to
live this one for you, with you,just in a different way now. So
I really loved that example ofone way to honor something we've
done before with our kiddo, orsomething that they had wanted
to do with this specificfamily's story, just because it
(15:49):
was so profound, and actuallyseveral months later, because
the trip had been, you know, Iread for them a few months
before the holiday they weregoing for they did send me a
photo of them at this lookoutpoint, and they said, this is,
this is the place you wereexperiencing, and see how much
it's like you described, whichwas so cool, like, not everyone
(16:10):
shares those things, which istotally fine. It's not expected
at all. But when people do sharethose follow ups, it is always
really, as you might imagine,fun for me to get to see. So the
next story that I want to sharehits a little differently, and
honestly it kind of broke myheart in the best way when I
heard it. This one was a parentwho had lost a daughter, a mom
(16:36):
and daughter, and her daughterhad this favorite artist that
she really loved, like a musicalartist, and absolutely loved
them. Would dance and jump onthe bed and sing and play, and
really loved this musicalartist, and at some point, the
artist was going on tour andplaying at an amphitheater not
(16:59):
too far from the mom thisperson, and this was when the
mom decided she was going tothis concert. Now, this was way
outside of her comfort zone. Sheis not one for crowds. If you've
ever been to a big show or a bigvenue, you know, it's a lot of
people, it's a lot of pushing,it's a lot of hustle and bustle,
(17:20):
it's loud, it's so much energy,right? And this person's very
energetically sensitive, so thiswas, like, all the way outside
of her comfort zone. This wasnot her scene at all, and it was
not even her music, and not thekind of thing she would ever do
on her own. But she decided thatday when she saw the
(17:41):
announcement of like, the showand the tickets being sold, she
thought to herself, like, Okay,I'm gonna do it. This is a nudge
for my daughter. I know this isher favorite band. They haven't
come here in a long time, or herfavorite artist, I should say.
And it's not that far. It'sdriving distance. I feel really
uncomfortable about this, but Iknow she always wanted me to get
(18:02):
out of my comfort zone and havemore fun, and she was always
encouraging me. And the truthis, her daughter, when she's on
this side, she still is, butwhen she's on this side, is such
a bright light, and alwayswanting to include people and
getting people out of theircomfort zone. But like in the
best way, she reminds me ofsomeone who like when there's
like a wedding and there's acouple of people sitting on the
(18:24):
side and not dancing, but youcan tell they want to dance.
She's that person who would goover and grab them by the hand
and dance with them in a waythat felt comfortable for them,
and really make them enjoy theirtime. It's just who she is as a
person. So mom decides I amgoing to get myself together and
do this. She immediately aftershe saw the tickets, calls up
(18:48):
her best friend, which alsohappens to be her cousin, her
closest person that was alsovery close with her daughter,
and tells her, you're comingwith me. I know this is not
really our thing. We're going toget our stuff together and we're
going to go to this, and I'mbuying our tickets right now.
And can you go? Here's the date.
And of course, the cousin said,Yes, I'm down to do this. Let's
(19:12):
go. The cousin is a littleolder, so older than my clients,
so not necessarily her genre ofmusic either. But was like, hey,
if this is for our girl, we'regonna do this, and we're gonna
have a great time. So the two ofthem decided to go together. And
they didn't just go, they wentfull out, which is amazing. So
(19:35):
she wore her daughter's jacket,like a jacket that her daughter
loved. She put on her daughter'searrings, like these really kind
of cool, artsy, chunky earringsthat the daughter loved. And she
showed up with her daughter'ssoul, in her daughter's style,
in her daughter's world. And shewas telling me, at first, like
(19:57):
at first she was almost having apain. Panic attack. It was so
many people. It was so muchgoing on. It was really intense
from her perspective. And shesaid that she had to, like,
breathe, take her time. She didsome grounding work. She
grounded herself. She kind ofput her own bubble of light
around her, and just took hertime to kind of settle in. And
(20:21):
then she said, as she shiftedout of that anxious space into a
place of like, you know whatthis is excitement. This is not
something to be anxious about.
This is other people'sexcitement. This is their love.
She started to be able to, Iteach this in my classes, so
this is why we were talkingabout this. So she started to be
able to feel all the love, allthe happiness, all the
celebration in the room. And shealso said she started to kind of
(20:45):
feel and sense her daughter andher daughter's excitement as she
settled down within herself andas she looked around the crowd.
As you can imagine, if you'veever seen a packed amphitheater,
there's almost like that misty,smoky fog that they send out
with the lights shooting acrossit, and there's just this
(21:05):
pulsing vibration from the crowdand from the base that she could
feel coming through her boots,even she was telling me that as
as she really just almost likestepped outside of herself and
took in the whole big picture ofeverything. She said she really
even more so could feel herdaughter there, not just
(21:27):
imagined her, but like felt her,and that particular type of
warmth and closeness that said,like, hey mom, I'm here so
happy. And just then they kindof made that crack of the drum
when it's going to start and theartist's going to come out, and
the music, and we're doing alight show, and this, like
screen behind that has apresentation on it. And just
(21:50):
then the music started, and shecould really differently, feel
all of the energy and the energyof the music and the words of
the song. And she told me thather and her cousin, like she
said, we laughed, we cried, wesang as loud as we could to any
of the songs that we knew, eventhe chorus of, and she said she
(22:11):
knew, she just knew that herdaughter was so proud of her and
that she was right there, havinga blast alongside them. I love
this story so much because it'snot about doing something
comfortable or something tidy orsomething where we are just
alone in our room. It's aboutstepping out of her own comfort
(22:33):
zone into her loved one's world,out of love, out of wanting
connection. It's about saying, Iwant to know what lit you up. I
want to experience something youloved. I want to feel all of
this too. And I think that'ssuch a special way that a person
can do something for and with aloved one who is already crossed
(22:55):
over, which I think, is justsuch a special way to continue
that relationship and continuethat connection. And so I love
the story, and it doesn't haveto be a fancy concert like that.
It could be like a free concertin the park. It could be
something that doesn't costanything, which is why I want to
give some different examples ofexperiences and stories again,
(23:19):
just because I know the trip,the Hawaii trip, that's
expensive, but something likejust going to see a free musical
show that doesn't cost anything,and it's the same level of
connection that we can have withour loved ones on the other
side. So this next story is whatI have to tell you, like kind of
(23:40):
carefully. It's a reallybeautiful story, but it's very
layered, and it touches intoboth honoring a loved one,
honoring ourself and healing,which is part of why I'm doing
this episode, right? So theclient sitting across for me is
the daughter in this story, andher father had crossed over
(24:02):
somewhat unexpectedly. Now I'vebeen coaching with this client
for a while, and have to tellyou, she is sassy as hell in her
own personality. She is a strongperson. She's a leader, she's
determined, but also highlysensitive and really feels kind
of everything and so as we hadworked on this relationship, as
(24:23):
we had worked on all therelationships in her life,
because personal development iswhat helps open and nurture and
continue to deepen our spiritualgifts, she we were diving a
little deeper into thisrelationship with Her dad, who
had crossed over not long ago,somewhat unexpectedly, and the
truth is, their relationship hadbeen really complicated. For
(24:46):
most of her life. There had beenlong stretches of estrangement
where they didn't speak at all,other times where they were
barely speaking just a few timesa year. And she really almost
like I. Actual physical weightsat the gym on her shoulders, she
really felt that she carried theweight of what didn't happen in
(25:07):
their relationship, therelationship she wished they
had, and the truth of how itwas. And she, in this session,
was telling me, you know, when Iwas a kid, I just really always
felt like my dad preferred workthan being with the family, and
didn't engage really, and Idon't feel like he saw us or
(25:29):
paid attention to us, but was sofocused on work. And then when
her parents divorced, she kindof didn't see her dad in the
same way, with the samefrequency that she did, you
know, when they were all livingtogether, and she was saying
that it was so hard because, asso many of us experience, there
(25:49):
was no happy reunion before hepassed away. There was no big
reconciliation scene. There wasno, you know, like in the movies
her getting the closure and theapologies and the
acknowledgement that she feltlike she really needed from him.
He crossed over really suddenly,and then that was that. But
here's what she did, which is socool as part of her own healing
(26:13):
process. Right? Healing is anongoing process, as we know,
part of our coaching worktogether and part of her own
healing journey. And I want tounderline this, that this is her
own healing process for herself.
So she started, we were doingthe emotional side of it and the
energy side of the work, and aspart of that, she felt inspired
(26:34):
to do some research into who herfather actually was, like. Where
did he come from? What was hischildhood like, what was the
time period he grew up inunderstanding more about that
whole family dynamic, which shedidn't know a ton about, and she
really wanted to understand whatshaped him, and in learning more
about her dad's story, thecircumstances he grew up in, the
(26:56):
things he was never taught theway it was for men of his
generation. She really said thatshe found out some of the wounds
that he himself carried, that henever shared or never
articulated because he didn'tlike to talk about emotions or
the past at all, and she saidshe began to understand some of
(27:18):
why he was the way that he was,not to excuse it, not to erase
the past or the hurt, but tounderstand it better. And from
that understanding, she said,eventually she she found, and
continues to find, some versionof peace. She was able to let go
of her anger and stopped lettingthe past hold her back, is the
(27:41):
way she says it. Now, the truthis, my client had no physical
items from her father. This isso common, right? Often because
of estrangement or just becauseof the way it goes. We don't
have tangible items of ourspirit person. She had no photos
of her own. She had no physicalitems. She had no like magical
(28:03):
watch that came to her in someestate. She didn't have any of
that. She had nothing at all.
And one day, she travels a lotfor work. She was in New York
City, which, you know, I got,you guys know, hopefully now I
love and the city is a littlebit gritty. It's a little bit
gray. It's very hustle andbustle and people walking, and
they're on a mission, andthey're trying to go somewhere,
(28:26):
and they're moving right. But onthis day, she had some extra
time, so she decided to walkfrom one meeting to the next,
just in a casual way. And as shewas walking, she was enjoying,
you know, the architecture andthe scenery and kind of doing a
little people watching. And shesaid, just as part of, kind of
strolling through the city, shehad a few hours to get somewhere
(28:49):
that was only going to take herabout 20 minutes to walk. So she
was really taking her time. Andthought, you know, maybe I'll
have some lunch or grab a coffeeor something. And as she's
walking through the city, withall the busyness, all the taxis
going by and the horns honkingand the soot coming out of
everywhere, and the people youknow kind of trying to be like
(29:11):
ants go around each other andpushing by, she just so happened
to walk by a pawn shop wheresomething about the shine of the
window just made her look in andinside that pawn shop window,
she saw sitting on a little redvelvet pillow right towards the
back of the window, a pair ofgold cufflinks, perfectly etched
(29:34):
with little designs and sittingOn that cushy Little Red Velvet
pillow with those intricatecarving designs and tiny little
sapphires on the side justsparkling away. And she said it
stopped her dead in her tracks,because she said they looked so
similar to the cufflinks sheremembered on her father's crisp
(29:55):
white shirts. And. When she wasa kiddo, that the kind of detail
you don't forget. She said shecould imagine in her mind's eye,
in that moment, she had a flashof those crisp white shirts that
he would wear with the crispcuffs on the sleeve and those
cufflinks just right there, andshe could almost imagine his
(30:16):
big, chunky hands, is the way,she said it, with the crisp
sleeve of his shirt and thosecufflinks right on there. And
she said they were very uniquelooking, the ones that he had,
and so unique and specific, soparticular that she said it's
hard to even explain to someonewho never saw her dad's, because
(30:37):
they're just very unique. And soshe was telling me that she felt
like in that moment, the way itcaught her eye, the way that she
was drawn into that window tolook, she felt like it was a
sign, a sign from her dad, thathe understood her, that he was
wanting to make peace with hertoo, in some way, that he saw
the work that she had done Andthat he loved her, and so she
(31:00):
went inside, and as luck orserendipity or spirit would have
it, they were on sales. Now thepawn shops are often doing
sales, and she bought them, andshe actually made them into
earrings for herself. So thetruth is, she had nothing of her
father's like we were talkingabout not a single item, but she
(31:20):
found her own way to createsomething, something just for
her, a private, sacred littlepiece of her father's memory
that she gets to carry in theworld. And she can choose to
tell people or not tell people,but no one would ever know what
this means truly means to her,and I almost get a little
(31:42):
emotional every time I tell thisstory, which isn't often,
because it's such a perfectexample of how the love is still
there, how healing is stillpossible, even after the person
is no longer physically with us,and how when we open our hearts
and work on our own healing andunderstanding, our own emotions,
the spirit world seems to alwaysfind a way to meet us. So I
(32:05):
really love her story, and it'sso like her personality, that
she found something so uniqueand special and then used her
own creative genius to turn itinto something that felt
authentic to her. So I just lovethat story. I also wanted to
share a couple more, almost likecommunity style honoring ideas
(32:25):
that I've witnessed, becausesometimes the most healing thing
to do is when we can bring inmore than just ourselves, right?
Healing can also happentogether. So I want to tell you
quickly a story about a familythat I had the honor of working
with, and this was a family withthree sweet little kids, all
(32:45):
under the age of 12 when I metthem, and they had lost their
mom. My client in this case wasthe dad, the husband, and it had
only been a couple years sincetheir mom's passing, and the mom
as as was coming forward in thereading in the session, her and
the dad had been high schoolsweethearts, and they had
(33:09):
created this beautiful littlelife together in the town that
they grew up in or very closeto, or is like very small town,
feel very neighbors waving andsaying hello to each other. Very
much community effort. And whenit would have bad weather, for
example, like everyone would goout and be part of shoveling or
(33:31):
sweeping or raking or whateverthe case was for the season. So
she really was not only animportant person in this family,
but such an important and wellloved person in the community.
And one of the sweet detailsthat came up as part of the
reading was how much she lovedflowers, and how much you know,
(33:51):
her husband would always bringher flowers early in their
relationship, and it would bedifferent flowers for different
events and different occasions,and she loved to wear things
with flowers on them. And shealso, as part of this, was a
really avid gardener, and shehad this, she kept showing me in
the memory, the way she wasdoing her gardening with this,
(34:13):
like, beautiful, big sun hat andthis kind of, like flowy shirt
that she would wear, and thesethick Canvas garden gloves, and
she was also, right before herpassing, teaching the kids to
garden. And one of the thingsthey had started doing in the
last few years that she had onthis side was filling their
front yard with flowers. So theywould plant all these different
(34:37):
flowers, do all the seeds in theyard that they had, and she was
teaching the kids, and thenthey'd watch the flowers grow.
And for the last few years ofher life, in the springtime,
when all the flowers wouldbloom, they would go outside and
cut all the flowers, and thenthey would put them into these
little bouquets. She's verycrafty. As part of this I
learned she put them. All intothese little bouquets of, like,
(35:00):
sweet little springtime flowers,and for, like, Spring Summer,
depending on how the weather wasthat year, she would pass them
out to all of her neighbors.
She'd go just put them in theirmailbox or on their front door,
because she really loved, notonly like loving her love of
flowers, but she wanted to gether kids involved and share
(35:23):
spreading love to the communityin sweet little ways, because
this is just the person that shewas. So what had happened on
this particular year a coupleyears after her passing, is that
the kids decided that they weregoing to do something in her
honor, the dad, she was teasinghim through the reading. He's a
(35:43):
terrible gardener. He had triedto do the flower thing. It
really wasn't working. It justwas making him more sad and
frustrated to be trying to doit. He didn't love it. And so
instead, the kids had this idea.
My guess is that it was theoldest kiddo that, like spurred
this on, but she was givingcredit to all of them, of
course. And she said that theyfor several months when they go
(36:06):
on walks together, because thedad would take them on evening
walks and or walks home fromschool and things, they were
collecting rocks because theywanted to paint these rocks, was
their idea. So they'd beencarefully collecting rocks from
the neighborhood, the park, thebeach, anywhere that they found
them. And they would take themhome and they wash them and kind
(36:27):
of put them on this little onelittle pile that they had. And
then when time rolled around,like around Mother's Day or
Father's Day, whenever it wasthat they'd normally do the
flowers, the kids got out alltheir craft supplies and covered
their dining room table withpaper, and brought out all their
paints and their arts andcrafts, and spread the rocks all
(36:47):
over the table. And they hadquite a few collected, and they
decided to paint the rocks, eachrock with different little
flowers, almost like littlebouquets on the rocks
themselves. And then they letthem dry in the windows. So they
painted them so carefully, oneby one, with very delicate
(37:09):
flowers, each helping the other.
The older kids helped thelittle. And once they dried,
they had this sweet little kindof like one of those red flyer
style wagons, like a little redmetal wagon that was in the
garage. And one by one, theycarried all these rocks out and
(37:30):
gently placed them in theirlittle red wagon. And then the
three kiddos together pulledthis wagon around the
neighborhood, and in each yardor flower bed or garden, or even
just like on the front lawnaround the neighborhood, they
placed their special rocks inhonor of their mom and in honor
(37:53):
of carrying on this tradition ina different way of spreading
love and flowers and colorthrough the neighborhood. So
these little surprises of colorplaced gently on the earth,
spread out throughout thecommunity as a way of continuing
her tradition, honoring her andwho she was in the community.
Her love was very wide. Itspread so far across the whole
(38:18):
neighborhood, and that act ofpainting and placing and going
out together. I can't evenimagine how special that was for
the whole community, and, ofcourse, for the kids themselves,
to have a different way thatfelt true to them, to honor
their mom and to give somethingspecial to the community, in
(38:40):
honor of her, because she wassuch a special part of that
community. And you know, I knowpainting rocks isn't for
everyone, and I know noteveryone loves flowers, but I
thought that was just such aspecial, unique and personal way
to carry on a tradition, butjust in in a new way that made
sense for the family. Now, maybethey'll do it every year, maybe
(39:01):
they won't, maybe they'll dosome just for themselves, but
how special that they were ableto do that, and how special that
the mom knew all about itthrough her reading. Okay, I
want to shift a little. I knowthat these are about individual
families. But I also have knownlike we're talking about
(39:24):
community and healing beingimportant part of the community.
Sometimes I've also known groupsof people who do bonfires. Here
in Southern California, we canhave bonfires on the beach. Some
people do them in theirbackyards, if that's safe and a
little like fire pits typeenclosure fire safety, please
asterisk here. So I know somepeople that do bonfires where
(39:46):
they have the bonfire, maybethey're doing a celebration or a
barbecue of some kind or not,and they write messages to the
person they've lost, and thegroup together, whether it's
they've lost a parent or a childor a grandparent. Parent or a
friend or just a strongcommunity member, and they
release those messages thatthey've written on the little
(40:07):
paper into the fire, almost as away of giving them over to their
loved one on the other side, andtrying to release a little bit
more of their grief. And there'ssomething about fire as a mode
of releasing, transforming thatelement of Fire really just felt
(40:28):
so right for several people thatI've known that have done this.
And so when you release thepaper in it's to them, it's for
yourself. And both of these areso beautiful because they're not
solitary. They bring peopletogether. So I can even think
of, you know, ways that we canuse just these two examples of,
(40:51):
you know, maybe there's ateacher that's been lost and the
kids in the class can all paintsomething together. Or maybe
there's a community member thatis no longer with us, that we
can do something that representswho they were, or a way to come
together to honor them. Therereally is such power in
togetherness as a part of Griefand Healing. And of course, it's
(41:13):
not the entirety of the journey.
There's many levels and aspectsto a grief journey, but it can
be such a beautiful healingelement. Okay, I want to shift
quickly into something that Ithink is going to mean a lot to
some of you, because after allof that, all of these beautiful
ways of honoring, I want to talkabout some things that I've
actually witnessed in readingsaround these holidays, Mother's
(41:35):
Day, Father's Day, GrandparentsDay, even birthdays. Because one
of the questions I get asked sooften, in some variety or
another, is some version of, dothey know, do my loved ones on
the other side know my feelings?
Do they still feel me? Are theyaware of us on these special
(41:56):
days? Do they know what I'mdoing in memory of them, or even
the thoughts that I'm thinking,the love that I'm sending. And I
want to answer that for mydirect experience as a working
medium, the answer is yes, theyare aware, and I have some
receipts for you. I want toshare a reading that I did not
too long ago. I'm going tochange some of the details here
(42:18):
to protect a privacy as I alwaysdo, my client had lost her mom,
and her mom was one of thosespecial women. I think we all
know a woman like this somewherein our life at some point, and
this woman was somehoweveryone's mom, not just her own
kids, not just her own family,but the whole extended family,
(42:42):
to all the friends, to the wholecommunity, to anyone who came
into her orbit. She was theheartbeat of this whole
community of people. She hadraised so many kids. She had so
many people in and out of herhouse as just her, her
generosity of spirit, if theywere having a dinner or a meal,
(43:04):
there was always enough toshare. There were often, they
lovingly call them strays likethere were often, like people
who didn't have a place to gofor a holiday or a place to go
for dinner, just at her house,it was always extra seats
crammed into that old diningroom table that they all sat
around. And as part of that, shewas also going to not be afraid
(43:25):
to tell you about yourself, ifshe liked something you were
doing. She would tell you if shedid not like something you were
doing, she would tell you atrue, loved, respected, powerful
elder in the community. Andafter she crossed over, did a
long life and a heart illness inthe last part of her life, which
was very hard for my client asher daughter and one of the
(43:48):
people who moved in to help takecare of her in the last part of
her life, this woman was sobeloved to the community, but
after she crossed over, myclient started trying to
organize. This is what camethrough in the reading, her mom
was saying she's trying toorganize a family gathering in
her mom's honor, exactly thekind of thing that her mother
(44:09):
would have loved, bringingeveryone together, keeping the
family connected, keeping peoplehearing the stories of our
family and of our community, andjust having a good time, because
the way this mom would wouldshare it, and the way she shared
it with me, from the spiritworld, is like often life is
hard and challenging, thingscome up for all of us. So when
(44:31):
we have those moments where wecan create togetherness, where
we can create just a singlemoment of exhale, of like in
this moment, everything's okay,and we have enough to eat, and
we have people around us, and wecan celebrate that. So she would
have so loved this. She wascommunicating to me that her
daughter was trying to do this,almost family reunion, but more
(44:52):
of a gathering, and her, whenher mom was communicating in the
reading, she was so present, soherself, so SAS. Be so clear the
way she was in life, is what herdaughter was telling me. And she
was fully aware of everythingthat was going on with this
gathering. She knew who in thefamily was cooperating. She knew
who was being difficult, andhonestly, she was a little bit,
(45:16):
let's call it, opinionated, orhad some strong things to share
about the whole situation,because she was still herself.
She was still who she was as apersonality and as a soul, still
the woman who knew everyone'sbusiness and had something to
say about it, and she wassharing with my client that
like, Hey, I know who all thesepeople in the family are. I KNOW
(45:39):
the ONE aunt that's going tohave a problem with everything
that we do, who's not going tolike the time that we set it up,
the location that it is, thewho's making the food. This aunt
just always has a problem withsomething or everything. And my
client was laughing almost tothe point of tears, because she
was like, I know exactly who shemeans. And then there was
(45:59):
another family member that wasalways late. Always expected
everyone to cater for them.
Would be upset if we didn'tchange the time because they
were running a couple hourslate. And always was being a
little bit dramatic. And she waslike, Oh my gosh, I know exactly
who this is, too. So it wasreally fun for her mom to get to
communicate that she does knowwhat's happening in the family
(46:20):
with this specific event, andthat she knows who these people
are and how they're going tobehave and how they're going to
show up, and that's all part ofit. So it was really beautiful
that she was still the samewoman and helped me express this
part of her personality. Butwhat she really wanted to
communicate through giving allof these details was, keep
going. Keep going with this. Dothis event. Invite everyone you
(46:45):
want to invite. Don't give up,because some people are not
cooperating. These people nevercooperate with anything. But
part of what she then shiftedinto, which sometimes I
jokingly, lovingly say is, likesome people have like, a tough
love segment of their reading.
And this was her mom giving hera little bit of tough love
(47:07):
because she was sharing, like,whoever shows up will have a
wonderful time together, andwhoever wants to be complaining
or griping, just let them dotheir own thing. That's part of
why I love them and who theyare. And then she said something
that has really stayed with mein a beautiful way. She had me
remind her daughter that thisgathering wasn't just to honor
(47:30):
her mom, it was for her as thedaughter too, because this
daughter was missing not justher mom, but her whole family.
Her mom was the glue thateveryone came to the dinners
for, that everyone stopped by tosee, that everyone wanted wisdom
and advice from but once her momhad crossed over, the daughter
(47:50):
felt like she lost that sense oftogetherness, and she was
feeling really lonely, and shewas feeling really She's not the
type of person to like reach outand ask other people to come
over, or ask people for help.
And her mom wanted her to knowthat from the spirit world, she
saw that she felt her daughter'sfeelings. She was aware of how
much she missed thistogetherness of community. And
(48:12):
she wanted her daughter to know,hey, this is something you need
too. It's not just somethingyou're doing for me, it's okay
that you need this family andwant to still create
togetherness with these people.
And her daughter was so movedthat her mom knew that it was
really for both of them and thatshe deeply needed to be around
(48:36):
the family still. So that is thelevel of presence and awareness
that I get to witness again andagain from the spirit world.
They know us. They're spendingtime with us in our lives.
They're cheering us on. They arestill their personality. They
still know what is going on inthe family, and they know what
(48:57):
we need. I also want to mentionsomething that I get asked about
a lot that feels relevant tothis topic, and that is pets. So
many of you have fur babies andanimal friends that have been
such a part of your life, andsometimes the truth is we have a
family member, a parent, achild, someone else, that
crosses over, that leaves behinda pet. And so while this episode
(49:21):
is not specifically a petsepisode, this is just something
that spirit has been nudging meto include in this episode. So
I'm doing it. I've come I've hadthis come through in so many
readings. I've come across thisin so many different ways. A
loved one's crossing over andcoming through with the message,
the Thank you, the love. Andsometimes, as part of the
(49:43):
communication, they will theywill share something to the
effect of thank you for takingcare of my dog. So sometimes
I've had it lots of ways. I'vehad it where they'll acknowledge
I crossed over, and this is theperson that took my dog or my
pet, my cat. What? Ever it mightbe. I've had them also share,
(50:03):
hey, you just lost a dog or adog that you lost a long time
ago. I have that dog or cat orpet or animal with me. So
sometimes they'll share thatthey have the animal on behalf
of their loved one who is onthis side. And really it's such
a sensitive topic that sometimesit'll even come through more
(50:25):
often than you'd expect, assomeone having to rehome
someone's pet after they passaway, and even then, they will
come through and acknowledgeeither you couldn't keep this
animal it was too hard. Theywant you to release a sense of
guilt. They want you to knowthat they're not judging you or
upset from the other side, thatthey genuinely understand they
(50:48):
see enough the fullness of thesituation. So I had one recently
where it was a parent, an in lawparent, that passed over and my
client, they wanted to let themknow like, Hey, I know that it's
really busy at home right now,and the kids are small, and
there's a lot going on. And Iknow that it broke your heart
that you just couldn't keep mypet. You just couldn't, and I
(51:09):
know that you couldn't findsomeone in our family to take
this pet. We don't really haveanyone, and I know that you
rehomed it to someone else, andthat's okay. They're gonna be
okay. I'm okay. I understand thesituation, because they really
wanted to lift off of theirheart that grief that they were
carrying. So just so you know,when someone passes and they
(51:33):
leave behind a pet, the peopleleft behind sometimes have to
make really hard decisions.
That's just part of our humanexperience and the guilt around
that can be significant. And Ican't tell you how often it
comes through in readings, thisacknowledgement, this, please
release your guilt. It's okay. Iknow what's happening, and
they're not judging you. Theyare instead sending you love and
(51:55):
gratitude. And if you have losta furry loved one to the other
side, that furry loved one goesback with the family as well. So
if that's something you've beencarrying, I hope that hearing
this little tidbit about itbrings you some peace. Okay, so
I just want to close today theway that I've been thinking
about this all along, which isthis, the most important thing
(52:17):
for you to take away from thisepisode is that the love doesn't
end. It really doesn't whetheryour relationship with your
parent or your child waseverything you wanted it to be,
or whether it was one of thosecomplicated, painful, difficult,
challenging stories, the love isstill real. It's still alive,
because their soul is stillalive. It's just not in a
(52:41):
physical body. But they don't goanywhere. They're just right
here, still moving through theunseen world that exists right
within our world, feeling ouremotions, giving us compassion
and love and hellos. They seeyou trying. They know that you
are also on your own healingjourney. They see you going to
(53:04):
that concert in their favoritejacket, placing rocks in
people's gardens as a memorialto them, buying those cufflinks
at a pawn shop that you saw inthe window and making them your
own. They see that trip thatyou're taking. They see that
you're trying to gather thefamily together to honor them,
whatever it is you're doing,they see you and they know and
(53:26):
they are so with you in it. Andif you're someone who is
parenting children who are stillhere, and you're missing your
own parent for Mother's Day, orfather's father's day this year,
or if you're a parent who'smissing a child, please know
that the love you are puttinginto the world is felt both this
side and the other side, beyondthe veil. So I'm thinking of all
(53:50):
of you as we move through thisseason. I'm holding each of you
in my heart, and if any of thesestories sparked something in
you, or if you have your ownstory about the way you have
honored someone, memorializedthem, something you've done, or
a celebration that you want tohave, I would love to hear about
it. I feel like sharing theseways of memorializing and
(54:12):
remembering our loved onesreally helps others, maybe their
suffering and their grief, andone of these ideas will just
touch into their heart enoughlift a little bit of that grief
and give them something else towork with or focus on. So please
feel free to email those to mejoy at joyful medium.com I would
(54:32):
love it if you would leave acomment on YouTube. You could
leave it as a comment if youwant, or even just the word
spirit, or come find me onInstagram or Tiktok or Facebook
at joyful medium this community,you my spirit squad. You are the
reason that I do this, and yourstories matter so much to me.
You can find all of my episodes,including episodes 77 and 148
(54:56):
which I mentioned earlier.
Earlier at joyful medium.com inthe blog section, or you can
search spirit speakeasy whereveryou listen to get those
episodes. And again, I'm goingto link them in the show notes,
because there are some reallyawesome ways of doing memorials,
whether you have tangible itemsof someone or not. So if you're
(55:16):
looking for or curious aboutwhat you could do, or even what
you could start doing now, whileyou're still here to leave for
legacy for those that you love,those episodes are in the show
notes. So if this episode wasmeaningful to you, it would mean
so much to me if you shared itwith someone who you think needs
(55:36):
it right now, you never knowwho's carrying something quiet
this time of year, and just needsomeone to say, you belong in
this conversation too. So I amwishing you so much. Love,
beautiful soul. I will see youagain very soon. Big hugs. Bye
for now. From inside spiritspeakeasy, you.
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