May 18, 2025 • 49 mins
What really happens behind the image of a “perfect life”? In this compelling episode of the Starter Girlz Podcast, host Jennifer Loehding speaks with Eileen Noyes—a former NFL wife turned entrepreneur, speaker, and founder of Lady Bellator—about her powerful journey from public visibility to personal freedom.
Eileen shares how she walked away from a toxic marriage with eight children and rebuilt her life through faith, forgiveness, and fierce resilience. Her story is for anyone feeling stuck, silenced, or ready to rise again.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- How to find purpose through pain
- The power of forgiveness in reclaiming your voice
- Entrepreneurial tips for moms and women starting over
- Tools for navigating empty nesting and identity loss
- How to break free from shame and societal labels
Whether you’re navigating heartbreak, launching a new chapter, or searching for direction, this conversation offers encouragement, truth, and practical inspiration for your startup journey.
📌 Connect with Eileen Noyes
📧 hello@ladybellator.com
🎙️ The Unsidelined Life podcast
👉 Don’t forget to follow and subscribe to the Starter Girlz Podcast — your go-to show for powerful interviews, entrepreneur motivation, and inspiring success stories that celebrate every step of the startup journey.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Eileen Noyes (00:00):
We actually had an escape plan.
We had to leave our home, westepped away in the hopes that
he would come back around, thathe would see what was on the
line, and he never did.
And so his belief system hastaken him to where more than one
wife is okay he now has.
That's what's going on.
There's no relationship, nocontact right now with the kids
(00:20):
Very minimal and it's notrelational or anything like that
.
Very minimal and it's neverlike it's not relational or
anything like that.
But I mean, I really had to setthe tone for my kids of a
forgiveness, of choosing joy, ofnot playing victim.
Um, I, I just knew that I wasin this position and so much
comes for spiritually, I can'teven separate that that.
(00:40):
Um, my job is to take care ofthese kids, their lives, they
have purpose, they have, youknow, plan.
God has plans for them.
Jennifer Loehding (00:50):
Welcome to the Starter Girlz podcast, your
ultimate source of inspirationand empowerment.
We're here to help womensucceed in every area of their
lives career, money,relationships, and health and
wellbeing While celebrating theremarkable journeys of
individuals from all walks oflife who've achieved amazing
things.
Whether you're looking tosupercharge your career, build
(01:12):
financial independence, nurturemeaningful relationships or
enhance your overall well-being,the Starter Girlz podcast is
here to guide you.
Join us as we explore thejourneys of those who dare to
dream big and achieve greatness.
I'm your host, jenniferLoehding, and welcome to this
episode.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Starter Girlz podcast.
(01:37):
I'm your host, jenniferLoehding, and wherever you are
tuning in today, we are so gladto have you.
So I am so excited about myguest today and want to open up
with this to set the stage.
Sometimes, what looks like apicture-perfect life on the
outside hides an entirelydifferent story behind closed
doors, and sometimes the journeythrough heartbreak, public
(02:01):
pressure and deep personaltrials becomes the very path
that leads to purpose, healingand redemption.
And so I feel like my guesttoday really embodies all of
this, and you guys are going toget to hear from her and her
story and what she's doing now.
But before we do that, as wealways do.
We need to do a quick shout outfor our sponsor.
(02:22):
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And with that, of course, I wantto make one more mention, and
(03:05):
that is to be sure you head overto startergirlz.
com.
And why do I always sendeverybody over there?
For a couple reasons.
One if you missed an episode,it's a great place to catch up.
It's also where you can keep upwith all of our news and what's
happening and you can sign upand be in the know.
But also we have a great quizover there, and it's so fun I
built it.
Do you want to check it out?
It's a success block quiz.
(03:26):
It's a two-minute quiz thatwill actually tell you what your
number one success block isthat may be hindering your
success.
So if you want to take thatquiz, head on over to Starter
Girls with the Z Kong and youcan do that there, all right.
So today's guest, Eileen Noyes,has lived in the spotlight as
the wife of a former NFL athlete, but behind the glitz was a
(03:47):
woman quietly losing herself.
After her marriage publiclyfell apart, eileen became a
single mother to eight childrenand began a journey that would
redefine her faith, her identityand her purpose.
Now remarried and raising ablended family of 15 children
with her husband Michael, eileenis the founder of Lady Bellator
, a powerful movement that helpswomen rise from the sidelines
(04:10):
of life and reclaim theiridentity, voice and dreams.
As an author, speaker, mentorand coach, she shares God's
redemptive power through herbooks, including Sideline no
More Broken Chapters and herlatest Rise Up, lady Bellator.
Eileen's mission is clear tohelp women pursue their dreams
(04:31):
without guilt or shame, and tolive in the fullness of who God
created them to be.
So, eileen, welcome to theStarter Girl Show we are so glad
to have you here today.
Eileen Noyes (04:40):
Thank you for having me.
What a great intro.
It's always good to get pumpedup Like thank you.
Jennifer Loehding (04:46):
So, eileen, one of the things you know I
always like to start this showoff, because I feel like the
whole premise of Starter Girlsis all about showing how we
change the trajectory of ourlives, and that's what I love
about the storytelling is thateverybody that comes on here, I
feel like, has had to make somechoice to do something different
in their life.
It comes on here I feel likeit's had to make some choice to
do something different in theirlife, and some of us have, you
(05:07):
know, really profound stories,and some it may be career shifts
, you know, marital shifts,health shifts, whatever that is,
and so you have obviously madeshifts in your life to get to
where you are today.
And so I kind of want to startthere.
My audience doesn't know whoyou are yet.
By the we get done, you know,at the end of this I hope
they're going to know who EileenNoyes is.
But I want you to take us backto what brought you to this
place that you are today.
(05:28):
Sure, well, it's funny that youcall it that.
Eileen Noyes (05:31):
Your show's called Starter Girls, so you're.
So when I think of starter, Ithink of sports.
So the thing with me is I wasan NFL wife.
That was back in the early2000s, so before that actually,
I worked with athletics.
I played volleyball, I was onthe shorter side, which made me
very focused on the strengthpart and jumping higher and all
(05:55):
those things.
So I had to work on mydisadvantages, I had to
strengthen those things.
So I was a strength coach and Iworked with all the athletes
and then there was a completeshift from seeing hundreds of
people every day knowing mypurpose to then stopping
everything, putting my life onhold to support my spouse, and
so that's what I did.
(06:16):
He got drafted to Green Bay.
I followed the year after andlife was completely different.
So it started there and youknow, it's just that acclimating
to.
All of a sudden.
I mean, it was like it's likelife kind of went and took.
It went on a path of its own.
So you know, here I'm, you know, a strength coach.
(06:39):
I had purpose, all these things, and all of a sudden I really
felt like, oh, you're the wifeof, and it's just over and over.
You're the wife of and it'sjust over and over.
You're the wife of, you're thewife of, and the Green Bay is
that's everything.
Football is everything.
So I felt like I stepped into agreen and gold world that, I
mean, it was just.
It was just nothing like I'veever known before.
So it just kind of startedthere.
(07:00):
And so, long story short, I meanwe were ones who shared our
faith.
So he's a very outspokenChristian man.
We shared our faith with theteam.
We brought them to differentoutreaches you know sports
outreaches that had to do with,like couples getting better, you
know, encouraging people tohave kids, and we were very big
(07:21):
in the community.
Well, after, oh gosh, abouteight years after he was done
with in the league.
So we played for nine years,which is a long time he, um, he
shifted his beliefs to one thatwas not part of our mouths and
so it was, you know, going fromour christian foundation of
marriage to, all of a sudden,polygamy was okay, because I
(07:46):
wore makeup and because I didn'thave a t-shirt and long skirt
and head cover.
I was a Jezebel, the kids and Iwere property.
So it was a complete 180 fromwhat we knew.
And so I came to a crossroads.
And all this under wraps,because I didn't want, I didn't
know who to share it with.
It was God.
(08:07):
How do I navigate through this,like what is going on?
I want to be a good wife, butthis is not what we agreed on,
and so it was about three orfour years in private kind of.
I mean, really, I had only onlytold five girls, and so they
were the ones that helped menavigate through, and you know,
(08:29):
after that I just I had kind ofturned with.
Okay, we, he wanted to take usto this actual cult that was
based out of tennessee, and Ijust knew this was not not
something that we could do, andso we stepped, stepped away.
We actually had an escape plan.
We had to leave our home.
We stepped away in the hopesthat he would come back around,
(08:50):
that he would see what was onthe line, and he never did, and
so his belief system has takenhim to where more than one life
is okay, he now has.
That's what's going on.
There's no relationship, nocontact right now with the kids
Very minimal, and it's neverlike it's not relational or
anything like that.
But I mean, I really had to setthe tone for my kids, of
(09:13):
forgiveness, of choosing joy, ofnot playing victim.
I just knew that I was in thisposition and so much comes
spiritually I can't evenseparate that that my job is to
take care of these kids, theirlives, they have purpose, they
have, you know, god has plansfor them.
And so I just knew it was sucha significant thing to keep
(09:37):
pushing through all that crazy,to give them the life and the
upbringing and the drive tocontinue pushing through
adversity that you know life ishappening, even still, even in
all this life is happening forthem, not to them.
(09:58):
And so that's I mean, in asuper nutshell version, that's
what happened.
Wow, give me chills.
Yeah, life just shifted for meand I'm super thankful and that
whole thing.
I mean, if you take that prosports world, you know that it
looks from the outside, it lookslike such glitz and glamour,
(10:19):
and it's definitely a part of it, but it's not all of it.
It's definitely a part of it,but it's not all of it.
So my part is to see that thosewomen who are in those fard
seasons, they have someone totalk to, because mine is not an
isolated incident.
There's four women whosehusbands, or now ex-husbands,
have joined the cult.
That was seven, eight years ago.
This is still happening now towhere just the fact that they
(10:44):
see or hear my story, they knowto come to someone, I mean, and
it's how there's two that aregoing through it right now in a
different situation.
So so that's where heart is tohelp them again, not in just
those tough situations but eventhe healthiest of marriages.
People that are part of thatbeen part of the NFL world.
There's just place, and it'sthis feeling of I'm that been
(11:04):
part of the NFL world.
There's just place, and thisfeeling of I'm suffering in
silence because of theexpectations and because of
holding it in.
Because you know, like there'sone girl.
She's like I had to holdeverything in because people
were telling me don't stress outyour husband.
It's like you know he's got tofocus, he's got to, you know,
just be ready for the game, andso she just felt like she
stuffed all her emotions toliterally adjust was affecting
(11:27):
her health.
So it's such a wide range ofyou know people that there's
just they're just differentdynamics to that world that
people just don't know.
So I just wanted to not justexpose it for the sake of
exposing it, but to really belike hey, I want to be that
outlet, because I know I didn'thave it, I didn't have anybody
(11:47):
to help me navigate through, andI know that being, you know, a
couple steps ahead, seeing whatthey don't see yet, to be able
to help them be proactive, issomething that I really, you
know, desire to do.
Jennifer Loehding (12:00):
Yeah, there's like my head as you're talking
and there's so many things withthis, right, like so many angles
here, because it's like notonly are you dealing, you know,
we're talking about humans here,right, humans are complex.
Right, that we're talking aboutthere's this whole idea of
you've got this like basicallycrisis in your world, but you
are in a position to where youcan't make a big scene Like you
(12:22):
get, you're trying to hide thisfrom the public and you're
dealing with all this internallyand it's like what do you do?
Like, what's the right thing todo?
Right, like you don't know inthe moment.
And so I say to you you knowthat, and it's admirable that
you found that way, right, likeyou found that way out of that,
(12:43):
because I think that would behard for any human being outside
of the NFL dealing with whatyou dealt with, period.
And you had all these kiddostoo.
You had these children that youhad to think about first and
foremost and to make sure thatthey're in good space, safe, and
all of those things.
And I love that you said youknow the happening for them and
(13:04):
not to them thing, because thatis something, oh my gosh.
Like you know, right now I'mthinking about John Maxwell, his
book.
You know, sometimes you win,sometimes you learn.
And he talks about is ithappening to you or through you?
And it's something that I'vetalked to, you know, like I've
had that conversation with myson, I've had it with my husband
before, like, is somethinghappening to you or through you?
(13:25):
Is it for you, like what?
You know how we look at things.
So it's so admirable thatyou've been able to, you know,
push through that weather,through that, and where you are
now.
I mean, just think about that.
You've got a voice now and it'sgiving you the ability now to
hopefully help these other womenthat are navigating this space
to know that hey, here'ssomebody who's actually
(13:46):
weathered through this and comeout on the other side.
So you know powerful.
Eileen Noyes (13:51):
Thank you, yeah, it's been.
It's not been easy.
And then the thing you know, ifwe're talking about, uh, the
desire to, you know, push ahead.
So here I'm stay home mom for20 plus years, had one full-time
job before I got married, andso then to to navigate through,
(14:12):
I just like writing, you know, I, I I've always, that's just
always been in me, and it'sfunny because I knew that as a
writer, when I felt like it wastime to find the right, I
honestly thought all right, thisis going to be a memoir, this
is going to be all the thingsthat that I went through, and
not in a bashing way, but it waslike this.
(14:32):
You know, usually when you hear, especially in the limelight,
um, you hear because, like, whatthey do is like they lift you
up, and then, when things gocrazy, they highlight that too,
and then all of a sudden, it'slike you don't hear about
anything anymore and I just wantto be like, wait, hold on here.
Hey, things are, things areokay, you know.
Yeah, it's not like, you know,just like too bad a tragedy, I
(14:55):
mean, and and for sure there's aseparate part of it.
But I remember, you know,thinking, okay, I'm gonna write
this book and I felt somethingin me say no, you can't go full
throttle on telling everybodyeverything that happened because
it's going to freak people out.
It's like this first book.
It was to the pro athlete wivesto say, hey, you know, I
understand that there's atransition going into the game.
(15:17):
There's relationship dynamicsand the fans and the cheating
and all that that people don'tunderstand.
How do you navigate throughthat?
How are you his number one fanwhile still telling him hey,
honey, can you hang out with thekids, can you pay the bills,
can you take out the trash?
Can we hang out?
There's that, there's theexpectations of family and the
money and especially, seeing allthis with the draft going on, I
(15:41):
see it through a different lens.
I know it's like such a great,exciting thing for everybody,
but to know that on the otherside of those celebrations is
there's going to be crossroadsof hard relationship dynamics, a
lot of, like you know,relationship breakdowns.
So there's that I know I had ashopping addiction because I
didn't I lacked purpose.
That I know I had a shoppingaddiction because I lacked
(16:03):
purpose.
It was my way of numbing thingsand just kind of being in that
world, of feeling like this isthe expectation of how you're
supposed to look and all thosethings.
And then that transition out ofthe game which is super hard,
not only for her but obviouslyfor him.
I don't think there's agrieving.
There may be some things outthere, but it's hard.
Not everybody goes intocommentating or coaching and
(16:26):
that's what people assume.
So in writing that and doingall those things, like it's hard
.
I self-published, so it's justhard.
It's like the writer part of meand that part is easy.
But to go out there and kind of, you know you have to sell
yourself in a way and that'sdefinitely not easy for me.
(16:47):
You know, doing all the things,the marketing, the promoting,
all those initials at one pointI think I'm getting them all.
But when you hear ROI or theTRM, I'm like what is this stuff
?
Like what is this stuff?
So getting into this world ofentrepreneurship which I really
didn't even care for that word Ibrought just ticker and
(17:09):
motivated by money but to seethat an entrepreneur is someone
who sees a problem and wants tosolve it and wants to build a
need, when I saw it from thatpoint of view, it changed
everything for me and so I'mjust pushing through because I'm
in the early stages, I'm doingsome, you know, I think
sometimes I have to oh I do.
Just like every person, you haveto celebrate your wins and
(17:30):
sometimes I don't.
You know, it's like I wrote abook and I'm like, okay next, I
wrote a book Next, becausethat's just my mentality,
especially with a lot of kids.
But to be able to celebratethose things and to like, yeah,
just smell the roses and then go, okay, like it's okay, like
there's there's lulls and it'sthis process and there's trials,
and so I'm pushing through in awhole different way where, um,
(17:51):
even in marriage, there's thingsthat have been just as
challenging, if not morechallenging and crazy to say,
than the actual going throughall that cold stuff.
Jennifer Loehding (18:02):
You know, the first time around, so it's life
, yeah, and you know I feel likelistening to you and we have
very different lives.
But there's so many things yousaid there that I think, as
entrepreneurs, we all sort offeel like.
I self-published my book aswell, and when I wrote my book,
many of the people listening tothese episodes know my story.
(18:23):
But when I wrote that book,mine was really probably
similarly to yours kind of acathartic release.
I didn't I don't even know or Ididn't care about making money.
Really, it was really I justwanted to write to document what
I had gone through completelydifferent story from yours.
So I don't ever like todiminish anybody's story, but I
(18:44):
think where I'm listening toyour heart is when I when you're
talking about like ROI, like Iget it, I want to say I get it
because I've had to.
Really, you know like I was.
I spent 22 years in Mary Kay inleadership in Mary Kay, and then
I had a health crisis thatforced me to shift directions
and then I ended up after 22years leaving and forming a new
business and going into a wholenother field, when that was all
I had known from the time I wasin my late 20s up until almost
(19:08):
my late 50s now, and so you know, I hear these things and I want
to say to you I think these arelike things we go through as
entrepreneurs this whole talkingabout marketing yourself and
really putting yourself outthere and, just to your point,
also a stay-at-home mom for20-something years my kids are
all grown now but I've neverworked outside of the home since
I true story, since I wasn'tlet me take it this way I was an
(19:30):
aerobics instructor for a while, so I did work at battles, I
did work at some clubs, so I didget a paycheck up until about
2004,.
But I haven't had a real likecorporate job since 1996, if
that tells you anything.
So I wouldn't even know what todo at this point I'm in my
early fifties now.
(19:51):
What to even do if I had to goback out into the workforce to
do an actual like I don't knowwhere they hire me, like at
Target or something, yeah, liketo do.
You know what I mean.
I want to say all that to say toyou, not to say anything like
diminish you, but to say I hearyou and I and I and I feel your,
what you're talking about andthe pain with that, but I think
(20:13):
again it goes back to look atwhere you are now.
I mean, I think that all ofthese things that you had have
given you this voice now to beable to yeah, you've got a
purpose and a passion, right,and all this money.
I think that money all comeswith that purpose and that
passion that you have, but alsothe addressing those pain points
that those people have right,like knowing where those people
(20:35):
are coming from?
Eileen Noyes (20:36):
Yeah, for sure.
And I think too, like I look atI don't want to say competitors
, but what you're looking at,what's out there.
And so there are differentgroups that you know.
It's like how do you, how doyou connect, like are you going
to somehow do something together?
And as I'm observing, I'mseeing that they do that, what I
(21:00):
do and what they do.
So there's just two particulargroups that I know.
There may be more, but there'swomen of the NFL and there's off
the field.
Those are two organizationsthat those are the only two
organizations that I know inregards to, you know, pro sports
or pro football.
And you know I see that theseason that they're highlighting
(21:22):
is different than mine.
So, you know, as I'm lookingand I'm thinking like, why do I
have to do this?
It's already out there.
Well then, as these specificwomen are coming to me, you know
, when you get discouraged andyou want to quit but then
there's always those things thatyou know, I know it's from God
I just feel like someone willcall and go.
(21:43):
Thank you so much that you'redoing this.
Like this is such a need.
Like I am realizing that what Ithought I was just going
through by myself this wholething of this theme where I felt
like I was going throughhealing and freedom, I'm
realizing that that is going tobe a big foundational thing for
these women.
A lot of times we try to go,push through and do career stuff
(22:04):
and do you know the biggerthings, but we've got blind
spots and we've got differentthings because we're not healed.
And so to me, I'm just thinkingI want to get to those places.
Let me give an example.
So I have a podcast now too,and as it's getting out there,
there's different women fromsports have been saying, saying
like I want to get on, I want toshare my story and I really
(22:27):
have to be discerning about itbecause I don't want it to be a
bash session.
I want it to be well, hey, likethis is.
I have eyes of compassion for myex, you know, and I have
forgiven him and I've had to gothrough a huge layer of
forgiveness of not evenrealizing that I didn't even
allow myself to feel the emotionof all that stuff and all those
things.
But there's a place of justhealing and maturity, that play
(22:53):
that goes along with your,whatever it is you're doing.
So I had to go, okay, time out,like, like, let's get you
healed so that you becauseyou're going to see with fresh
eyes your, your, your situation,your, you know all those
circumstances you're going tosee them in totally different
eyes a year from now, two yearsfrom now.
And so I had to really, youknow, just think about that and
(23:14):
reflect on that and know that,gosh, this is part of the cross
and all for me.
But for these women like, hey,let's get you some healing, like
this wound is way fresher foryou.
So let's not just go out thereand just say something that
you'll regret later on.
So there's just different parts, but anyways, it's just like
you're just seeing that for me,that super small linch that I'm
(23:38):
trying to reach is even smallerthan what I, you know,
anticipated.
Jennifer Loehding (23:43):
Yeah, one.
There's great takeaways fromthat because, you know, in
listening to that, I mean it'sthe same thing, I think, for
really all of us as podcastersshould be thinking that way
about who we bring on.
I mean there's a takeaway inthat, right, by being selective
about who you bring on, becauseyou're trying to look for a
certain whether it's ademographic or a type of
whatever it is that you'relooking for for your podcast,
(24:03):
and I do think you know thatcomes in with you know the
boundaries and really definingwhat you want and who you're
looking for.
But also, in your conversationhere, talking about that
forgiveness piece, right, like Ithink that's a huge piece, and
what you're kind of alluding tohere is this idea that it's kind
(24:30):
of like the way I put it iswhen I wrote my book.
You know, when I wrote my bookin 2019, I was fresh out of a
four year medical crisis with adisease that they call a suicide
disease.
It's extremely painful and Ihave a very different.
I have a very different viewthen than I do now.
Same thing with my ex-husbandthat I had, you know, when I
married at 19.
I have a very different viewnow.
In fact, I saw my parents thisweekend and they're like hey,
have you ever?
Okay, now let me back up.
I've been married now for 29years.
That guy I was married to forthree years.
We divorced in 92.
(24:55):
I don't know where this guy is,I don't care, but my dad asked
me the other day.
He's like do you know wherething is?
If I were to see him today?
There was no, there's noemotion, there'd be no hate,
there'd be no like whatever,right, because it's over it.
But when it happened I hatedthe guy like I hated this guy,
right.
So there's something about thatwhole healing process, right.
And I think when you're likeyou're saying, when you come
(25:16):
from a place of healing, you canlook at things more objectively
, right, you can look at theoverall picture here and I just
think you in that process, youallow yourself, like you said,
to forgive yourself too, right,like you can't, you can't look
at that fresh until you makethat forgiveness for both the
person victor, right and thevictim, like whatever aspect
that is that you're looking.
(25:36):
So I think you're.
You're right in doing that andit's good.
You know, and I had ironicallyI never actually said ironically
I had a girl on my show wayback when on this Starter Girl
show.
It was one of my very firstepisodes when I brought my
second co-host on.
She was also a former NFLfootball wife and she had a
really I need to connect you two.
(25:58):
She had a really good story.
The thing I'm bringing that, ifwe're up now, is she's doing
phenomenal.
I mean, she's just doing really, really well and at the time
that she came on she was.
But she is just a beautifulgirl, beautiful girl and I need
to connect you two.
As you were talking, I totallyneed to connect you two because
you will love her.
I still follow her.
But yeah, she was a fun episodeand I can't remember all of her
(26:21):
story.
I don't know if there was someabuse, but I do remember her
talking a little bit aboutgetting lost in this whole
process of being this NFL wifeand you know the glamour of this
and how we see it on theoutside, but it's not.
You know, when you're on theother side of it, it's like,
right, the grass isn't alwaysgreener on the other side, kind
of thing, right?
Oh wait, hold on.
Eileen Noyes (26:42):
Okay, sorry I lost you.
Jennifer Loehding (26:45):
I was saying there's this whole other side,
like we see it, you know on oneside, but then the grass is not
always greener on the other side, right yes?
Eileen Noyes (26:53):
Yeah, for sure, and I think yeah and it's.
You know, it's how you receiveit, it's how you just receive it
Because it's well.
I've learned, especially nowlike that, that timeframe of
hearing all the fans and all theexpectations, whether it be
(27:21):
from family, whether it be fromyou know just different.
You see things on what they sayabout him that it could have
been.
I could have been easilyoffended by those things or I
could have gotten caught up insomeone saying this and someone
saying that and I made thatchoice back then.
I'm not going to let this stuffget to me.
(27:42):
I mean, I saw how there werecertain people, you know, there
was a situation where we wereout to dinner with another
couple and kids and things likethat.
They kept asking for autographsand I saw this girl just
seething and I saw how itcreated tension in our dinner
and between them as a couple andI was like gosh, like you know,
(28:03):
there's certain things that wecan't control.
We can't control the fans.
I mean we can say no, butthey're going to come, you know,
and so I just didn't want that.
That was just very significantfor me to say I don't want that.
Well, here with all the fansand all those things fast
forward to.
When things went down with my exex um I, when we stepped away,
(28:23):
that was that was me beingcompletely quiet and not knowing
what was going on.
And I come back, you know.
So I'm gone for 40 days with mykids.
We're just, you know, we just,yeah, my ex didn't know where we
were.
We felt like we had to bringhim back to school.
And I come back and I look likethe crazy person.
So all these stories have beensaid about me on YouTube.
(28:45):
Then we're talking like if you,if you google me or my ex,
there's over 300 videos of how I, you know, tore my house down
and how I was the gold diggerand I never loved my spouse.
All these things are on YouTubeto where, like people talking
about me and my name being likejust gone through the ringer to
(29:06):
be able to.
I mean, it's just like apreparation like you know what.
I don't need to be focused onwhat people say.
I know the truth.
The truth sets me free and I'mnot going to sit here and defend
myself.
I'm not going to let it get tome.
I'm just going to stay laserfocused on what I need to do and
that's, you know, stay close toGod, raise my kids and do what
(29:26):
I'm called to do, and so I seeall that as kind of training
ground for the hard, for thereal hard stuff that came my way
.
Jennifer Loehding (29:34):
Yeah, well, and I just it's like crazy to me
to think that you had to gothrough that because you know
it's interesting.
Yeah, I, you see, like, when Ithink about you know, like being
in the wildlife, we just talklet's back this up, let's, let's
(29:54):
take the remove this to like,say, somebody trying to build
like their YouTube page or theirpodcast page, remove this out,
like I had a girl on my on myshow a few weeks ago.
That was she's an amputee andshe started doing her, her
social media.
She was tracking she's a, she'sa paradisage which is
Paralympics horse riding, and soI had no idea.
I didn't look that up, I didn'tknow what it was, I had to go
look it up, but she starteddocumenting eight years ago this
journey that she's doing.
Well, now she's built hersocial media.
(30:16):
Her Instagram paid up to likealmost 200,000 followers, right.
And you think about somebodynow like you're in the
entrepreneur space now buildinga podcast, and so think about,
like, where we are asentrepreneurs, right, we're like
trying to build our audienceand all of that, right.
And we got into this wholeconversation about kind of what
you're talking about in adifferent way, about social
media and the hate messages andhow people would send her.
(30:39):
And I'm thinking this poor girl, she is an amputee and all
she's doing right now is reallyjust trying to be an advocate
for disabilities, right,disabilities.
And she gets these hatemessages from people.
And we had the wholeconversation about, like, how
you had to have, you have tohave thick skin, right, and I'm
thinking the entire time like,like, do you want this?
(30:59):
Like, why do you really wantthis in your life?
Because here we are building ourbusiness and we're building
podcasts, right, like, and I'mtalking to my YouTube guy and
we're talking about gettingclicks on videos and I'm having
this internal dialogue with Idon't care if those videos go
viral.
Like, I just wanted to hit theright people because I don't
want all that mess, I don't wantall that garbage from these
(31:20):
crazy people out there, right,like, because I don't know about
you, but I just don't have theenergy for it, like, I don't
have the patience or the energy.
So I listen to this and I think, gosh, that has to be so hard
to be in those positions whereyou have no control of that and
you've just got crazy people outthere just putting garbage out
there, the unfactual informationabout you out there and you
(31:41):
just got to basically put theblinders on and just ignore it.
Eileen Noyes (31:45):
You know, you just have to have thick skin.
Yeah, you definitely have totreat it for that, because it
was hard.
I remember going okay, I don'twant to fight, but that's not
true, and that's not true and Ijust want to defend myself, it's
just like people don't know,right, they don't know.
Jennifer Loehding (32:06):
You know it could just be so hard.
I get in, you know, I get insometimes and even, like when I
get into X and I'm looking atall the stories and things going
you know I can still call itTwitter, but X, whatever and I'm
looking at all the things goingI don't like, well, you know
we're lying, they're justputting stuff out there for
clickbait to get people to clickon.
You know they're lying andpeople just don't like I don't
(32:28):
know about you, but the wholeintegrity thing just makes me
crazy, you know, and that's whatit is.
It's about the how do we getthe clicks?
Talk about things that are, youknow, are going to get people's
attention, you know, and oh, itjust makes me crazy.
I just it's admirable.
Like I said, I'm so glad you'reon the other side of this.
That's that's all I got to say.
You are definitely a aninspiration for other, for other
(32:49):
women that are going throughwhat you're doing, but even
people out there that are tryingto.
You know, weather through thatand just in in helping give
people the ear that sometimesyou do.
You just got to put thoseblinders on and stay true to
your purpose and your callingand your truth.
Okay, so awesome, eileen, soyou're doing awesome stuff.
So here's what I do want to ask.
I've got a couple of funquestions I want to ask you, but
for somebody we've talked a lotabout.
(33:11):
You know the NFL life and yourbook, and then you know what
kind of what brought you to thisplace.
But I want to focus on theentrepreneur side of this,
because you did write this book.
You've got this podcast you'redoing We've talked a lot about
you know the art we mentionedthe ROI and really moving into
that space where we got to thinkabout, okay, the business part
of things.
So maybe you know, what advicewould you lend somebody that is
(33:35):
maybe, I don't know, maybethey're coming from the
corporate space or maybe they'relike you and I.
They're in the you you knowstay-at-home mom space and
they're moving into thisentrepreneur space.
What's something maybe youwould lend them as advice?
Eileen Noyes (33:49):
well, a couple of things.
This one keep pushing through,um, staying positive and kidding
with people that have gonebefore you.
So for me, I think that's beena hard thing is, you know, going
into the entrepreneurship world.
It was, there was a blanketentrepreneurship, which for me
at that time was great, you know, just understanding what, what
(34:12):
all that meant.
Like I said, you know, justhelping people out.
But you know there was a.
I felt like there was a lullbecause I was in these big
general groups that you knowthey were talking about their
own businesses and I just feltlike there was a lull because I
was in these big general groupsthat you know they were talking
about their own businesses and Ijust felt like, okay, let me
glean as much as I can, but Ineed someone to help me step
into really honing in on.
(34:34):
You know, for me it's reachingthem, it's establishing things
so I could start coaching.
It's very specific stuff and Iwouldn't have known I probably
would still be floating aroundif I didn't connect with people
that have gone before me whoreally who I can really pick
their brains and again, that youknow that thing of being
(34:56):
positive.
Here's another thing who arestay-at-home moms and, just like
you and I, I think the one bigthing is seeing that you have
what it takes, because it's easyto like disqualify yourselves
and say, okay, I don't have a, Idon't have a.
You know, I don't have thisdegree, I don't have this
license, or I don't, I have not,I don't have like a resume, but
(35:17):
I know that as a stay-at-homemom, there are so many skills of
what, just what we've gonethrough and I don't know if
you're gonna tell us youraudience, but just the whole
thing of like being flexible andanything goes.
We've had fun, like you know,internet issues, probably on my
side, but there's so many thingsthat um, there there's.
(35:38):
We've learned so many things toto just shift on a dime or, you
know, like um, to learn to to.
For me, I have these divide andconquer type of mentalities
because it's easy to getoverwhelmed, but when you're
stable mom, there's justsomething in you that just has
to find the answers and so Ijust think, um, stable mom, you
(36:11):
have, you have all the things.
Jennifer Loehding (36:12):
You have a CEO mentality in a lot of ways,
so don't underestimate thosethings.
So those are my big tipsnetwork marketing space.
For so long, you know, I builtout this program and it was so
crazy because when I built itout it really had the mindset of
, you know, like people ask melike who is it for?
Well, it's really for anyfemale entrepreneur any of them.
But a lot of it.
When I was building it out, Ireally had that mom in my mind
(36:35):
because I knew what it was likeworking that business, you know,
with an 18 month old and thenhaving another baby and then
having another, and goingthrough the navigating those
spaces all the way from babiesin diapers to young you know
toddlers to young age, middleschool, high school and now
we're in young adult, you knowage, which is all another
damning in itself, Right, butyou are so right and just in
(36:59):
case in point, it's just todayin our podcast episode we have
had to pivot and turn like threeor four times each time.
So, yes, I agree with you 100%,wholeheartedly, that just
because you have been at homeraising children does not mean
you can't do all the things youneed to do and be successful as
(37:19):
an entrepreneur right, Becauseit's just a pivot.
It's just a different thingthat you've had to learn to
probably tackle in all the timesyou've been doing diapers,
navigating kids, the dinner andthe car.
Hey, carpool, let's not talkabout that Like having kids in
multiple schools, right, andnavigating the carpool in
different schools.
I mean, that is a challengeitself, right.
Eileen Noyes (37:41):
For sure.
Oh my gosh, all of it, all ofit.
And you know, I, I'm proud thatthere's been times where I've
talked to my husband.
I'm like, you know, this stuffis hard.
I just wanted to go back tojust being a stable mom, so all
this stuff is just justchallenging.
But you, you just push through,you push through and I think
that you know when they're, whenyou're passionate about
(38:13):
something.
To me it's like when yourpassions and your burdens and
your skills, like when they fallin line, man, that's your sweet
spot.
And when you're in your sweetspot, when you know that you
want to do this, like whenadversity comes.
Adversity comes in so manydifferent ways, but I want to do
this.
I want to keep pushing through.
I may have to take shifts onyou know, just different things
here and there, but I'm going tokeep going up.
I don't want to quit this oneand I know I'm not like.
I know that I'm going to pushyou because it all comes from
that heart of what I wentthrough and how I want to help
(38:36):
them.
And and I, I just know it'sit's just, it's just, it's just
timing and and and justdiligence, determination.
Jennifer Loehding (38:42):
So yeah, and you guys have 15 kids blended
now.
So you are like the mom.
I mean, you are doing it.
Eileen Noyes (38:49):
I mean I, I don't know, because he has a seven
like I, um, he, we have his uh,two youngest, which are 13 and
16 and they get along great withum, with mine and so, and so a
lot of his are older, so wedon't see them.
So they are in, uh, they're,they're, you know, the midwest
um, so we don't get to see themtoo often, but it's not ever
(39:11):
been those, you know, big, bigchristmas gatherings or
thanksgiving.
I wish it had been nice, butthere's nothing like that.
Jennifer Loehding (39:18):
So I don't have 15 ever at once in a white
guy hey, but you let you movedwith eight and I'm impressed
with that because I have three.
And I'm telling you, you know,like I always joke, I say you
know that one, like going fromone to two, I think, is like the
hardest.
After that you could probablyhave a bunch, right, cause
you're crazy anyways.
But like I just really havethis story, I, you know, I, I
(39:46):
remember having my second childon my hip crying, and the
four-year-olds jumping up on theisland to make a tortilla, like
put American cheese on atortilla in the microwave
because she had learned to cooktortillas.
Because I was like I am going topull my hair out with these two
kids.
Like I got a baby on the hip,I'm trying to be a mom and I got
the one climbing the countertrying to cook tortillas, you
know.
But after that we got to numberthree and I was like man, we
(40:08):
were just crazy at that point.
Like I got baby number three,you know sumo crawling on the
floor after baby number twobecause he wants to walk.
I'm like at that point you justhave 10, I guess I don't know,
you know you know well.
Eileen Noyes (40:24):
So I admire them like yeah, yeah, it was like
that for a long time, where it'slike you know it is, it's like
I just enjoy, enjoy the ride.
But and there, when they getolder, it's challenging, whether
, like now, the high school, thecollege and trying to go to
different games and catchingeverything, it's for sure, right
, especially so I.
They're all in school now, soI've got my youngest, who's
seven, so he's finally in school, and so it gives my window of,
(40:47):
you know, typically from like 8,30 to three.
It gives me window opportunityfor me to do my stuff.
But, man, after that from threeto nine.
Sometimes I'm driving, which isjust doing it.
Jennifer Loehding (40:59):
Yeah, you know what eileen is so weird?
Because we're kind of now we'reat the empty net stage, which
is so weird because for so long,you know, I hear you and I'm
like it was like soccer karate.
It was this every week we wouldhave soccer tournaments that
we'd go from Fridays, you know.
And now it's so weird becausewe're like they're all kind of
out right now and they're adultsand we're like they're adults
(41:23):
and we're like we're bored.
You know like what?
That?
We were like her job, we'regonna go up there sit up and
she's a bartender.
You know like we're gonna gosit at her job and just hang out
.
So we do, we show up.
We're like, hey, page, we'recoming to hang out at the bar
today with you.
Yeah, I'm not gonna drink it, Ijust want them offer.
You know, like that's wherewe're at.
It's such a weird feelingbecause you know we were, we
were young when we had kids.
We never had that whole liketime where we were doing like
(41:45):
all the traveling.
And now we're like in thisother phase where it's like
we're back to like when we werein our early 20s, that short
time, that very minimal windowof time we had where we didn't
have kids, and so now it's likewe can do things and I'm like,
hey, it's kind of cool, we gotfree time, we can change.
Yeah, we can be when we want.
You know I always tell people,I give people hope.
It's like you get back to that.
(42:06):
You know you hear the peoplesay the empty nest thing is like
great, you know, because you'relike get to be a kid again.
You know.
So, yeah, well, that wasperfect for a long time with me.
It's a little ways to know.
Like you know, as a mom doingall these things, like what's
the one thing that you do foryourself like every day to just
(42:28):
be like to maybe rechargeyourself?
You said you got that windowwhere they're all gone.
Eileen Noyes (42:39):
So what's the one thing that's important to you?
Well, this is not therecharging window, but I have to
get up early, like't I don'tcare to.
I mean, it'd be great to sleepin, but that's where I know I
can have um, just time, thatpeace and quiet.
It's something about getting upwhere there's no one that I
have to answer to.
I can work out, I could pray, Ican, I could just watch the sun
(43:00):
.
I mean sunrise, all thosethings like that is, I guess, in
a sense, recharging, but that'sthat's me time I would love to
do, you know, and then workingout, working out for sure, like
if I can work out, that isdefinitely, uh, that stress
reliever and it's just, you know, when you like I'm 50s also,
that was when your body is goingthrough those changes in that
(43:22):
whole menopause stuff, it's likeI have to do that, like I need
to work out because I'm still.
It's a puzzle.
Jennifer Loehding (43:28):
It's a puzzle right now If you you know, in
Philly it's always no, and I butyou, yeah, I get up early too.
I like that more.
You get so much done in themorning when you have that
little quiet time by yourself,right like you get that almost
Donald man.
You know it's so weird becauseI don't know about you, but I
was not like ever was a morningperson like my mother used to
when I was a kid, come in thereand get me out like she'd have
(43:48):
to turn my way.
You know, now it's like I setmy alarm, but I really don't
even need it.
I just wake up.
Even on the weekend I'm like,oh, I'm gonna sleep until 6 am.
It never happened doesn't, itdoesn't happen.
Yeah, I just love thoselistening times yeah.
Eileen Noyes (44:06):
It is, and I don't know.
I don't know what my cat'sproblem is, but she, she'll jump
across us at 3.30.
It's almost like clockwork andI'm like dude, like, and then,
because I know she wants to gooutside, I left the door open
yesterday practically, and shestill didn't.
I was so mad.
I'm like dude, I need thatextra, because I'll wake up
(44:28):
between 4, 3, and 5.
And so I'm like come on, Justoh shit.
So she's been messing up.
Jennifer Loehding (44:35):
Your cat mind must be in sync right now,
because I just was tellingsomeone today that last night I
was like man, I went to bedearly and I was so excited
because I went to bed and at 3am in my bed this morning, my
cat comes in and starts meowingand pawing.
I'm like, uh-uh, I was firstborn Cat, my cat, or you and
(44:56):
some fellow.
I love it.
Go to bed.
I love it.
Wiley, you are awesome.
Yeah, no, go to bed.
I love it.
Wiley, you are awesome and Iapplaud you for like all the
things you're doing and your,your books and your podcasts and
you know and uh, being a mom toall those kids and and doing it
all you're I mean, you'rewearing the hats, you're doing
it all and I think it's great.
I think that's what this is allabout.
(45:17):
You know the funny thing when Istarted just so you know, in
the very beginning you mentionedabout when you hear starter.
You know we're thinking ofthing.
When I started just so, youknow, in the very beginning you
mentioned about when you hearstarter you were thinking of
sports.
When I first started this showI've said this in several
episodes we were two ex-Mary Kaysales directors that started
the show and when we started it,it was all about empowering
women and the tagline wasbasically whether you're
starting a business, a brand ora movement, we're here to talk
(45:38):
about it.
That's what we were doing.
We had no idea what we weretrying to do with this show and
I tell people you know I'veheard a lot from you about
passion and all of this.
You know this show has takenmany navigations.
I've, you know, co-host cameand left, another one came and
left still great friends of mine, but they just went on to
pursue other passions.
But this show, you know, I putit on hold for a while, for a
(46:00):
year, brought it back and when Ibrought it back in 23, it had a
little bit of the originalmovement, but it really became
something more powerful for meand it was really about how do I
help women which is so weirdbecause we have a lot of men
listen to the show but it wasreally about how do I help women
navigate this space, beingentrepreneurs and wearing all of
(46:23):
these hats that we're talkingabout right now, like being the
mom, being the CEO of theirfamily, being successful in work
and life, and everything that Ido with this show is really
because of a lot of the lessonsI've had to learn in my journey
being a mom, weathering adisease.
You know the complexities ofall of this marriage, all of
(46:43):
these different things and thestory is very different than
yours, but a lot of it is.
We have parallels in that we'vegone through hard things and
had to have resilience, grit toget out on the other side, and
you know the purpose and passionin all of this, and so I love
that when I can find people likeyou to come in here and speak
these truths and talk aboutthese things.
(47:04):
Even though the stories aredifferent, the parallels, the
resonating messages are alwaysthe same and that is how do we
help women thrive inrelationships, money, career,
our families and, mostimportantly, health and
well-being?
Right, because that's the mostimportant part.
So if our audience wants to getin touch with you, I know after
listening to somebody's gonna belike you know, where do I find
(47:26):
eileen?
Where do I get her books?
How do I listen to her show?
All of those things, where doyou want us to send them?
I mean?
Eileen Noyes (47:31):
well, you know eileen noise on facebook.
That's the easiest.
Hello at lady bellator, um, uh,that's um my brand.
So, lady bell, just let me tellyou real quick Lady meaning
royalty, so she's a daughter ofGod.
And then Bellator is warrior inLatin, so you're royalty, so
(47:54):
you're a princess, you're aqueen, but you are, you're a
driven warrior.
So you're both of those.
So hello at ladybellatorcom.
You can watch my podcast, theUnsideline Life those you're
both of those.
So hello at ladybellatorcom.
You can watch my podcast, theUnsideline Life.
Those usually launch onWednesdays.
And yeah, just all the thingsInstagram, linkedin, same stuff.
Jennifer Loehding (48:12):
And then my books are on Amazon.
I love it.
You're awesome, eileen, you'reamazing.
Keep doing your thing.
I love it.
I love it For our audience ofcourse, you and all the you know
tuning into the show.
We hope that you found it bothinspiring and informative and,
of course, if you did, you knowwhat to do Share, like, comment,
help us keep spreading all thisfabulous content and, of course
(48:35):
, follow Eileen and get in touchwith her if you need to, and
that way you can keep up withwhat she's doing.
And, as I always say, in orderto live the extraordinary, you
must start, and every startbegins with a decision.
You guys, take care, be safe,be kind to one another and we
(48:56):
will see you next time.
We actually had an escape plan.
We had to leave our home, westepped away in the hopes that
he would come back around, thathe would see what was on the
line, and he never did.
And so his belief system hastaken him to where more than one
wife is okay he now has.
That's what's going on.
There's no relationship, nocontact right now with the kids
(00:20):
Very minimal and it's notrelational or anything like that
.
Very minimal and it's neverlike it's not relational or
anything like that.
But I mean, I really had to setthe tone for my kids of a
forgiveness, of choosing joy, ofnot playing victim.
Um, I, I just knew that I wasin this position and so much
comes for spiritually, I can'teven separate that that.
(00:40):
Um, my job is to take care ofthese kids, their lives, they
have purpose, they have, youknow, plan.
God has plans for them.
Jennifer Loehding (00:50):
Welcome to the Starter Girlz podcast, your
ultimate source of inspirationand empowerment.
We're here to help womensucceed in every area of their
lives career, money,relationships, and health and
wellbeing While celebrating theremarkable journeys of
individuals from all walks oflife who've achieved amazing
things.
Whether you're looking tosupercharge your career, build
(01:12):
financial independence, nurturemeaningful relationships or
enhance your overall well-being,the Starter Girlz podcast is
here to guide you.
Join us as we explore thejourneys of those who dare to
dream big and achieve greatness.
I'm your host, jenniferLoehding, and welcome to this
episode.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Starter Girlz podcast.
(01:37):
I'm your host, jenniferLoehding, and wherever you are
tuning in today, we are so gladto have you.
So I am so excited about myguest today and want to open up
with this to set the stage.
Sometimes, what looks like apicture-perfect life on the
outside hides an entirelydifferent story behind closed
doors, and sometimes the journeythrough heartbreak, public
(02:01):
pressure and deep personaltrials becomes the very path
that leads to purpose, healingand redemption.
And so I feel like my guesttoday really embodies all of
this, and you guys are going toget to hear from her and her
story and what she's doing now.
But before we do that, as wealways do.
We need to do a quick shout outfor our sponsor.
(02:22):
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And with that, of course, I wantto make one more mention, and
(03:05):
that is to be sure you head overto startergirlz.
com.
And why do I always sendeverybody over there?
For a couple reasons.
One if you missed an episode,it's a great place to catch up.
It's also where you can keep upwith all of our news and what's
happening and you can sign upand be in the know.
But also we have a great quizover there, and it's so fun I
built it.
Do you want to check it out?
It's a success block quiz.
(03:26):
It's a two-minute quiz thatwill actually tell you what your
number one success block isthat may be hindering your
success.
So if you want to take thatquiz, head on over to Starter
Girls with the Z Kong and youcan do that there, all right.
So today's guest, Eileen Noyes,has lived in the spotlight as
the wife of a former NFL athlete, but behind the glitz was a
(03:47):
woman quietly losing herself.
After her marriage publiclyfell apart, eileen became a
single mother to eight childrenand began a journey that would
redefine her faith, her identityand her purpose.
Now remarried and raising ablended family of 15 children
with her husband Michael, eileenis the founder of Lady Bellator
, a powerful movement that helpswomen rise from the sidelines
(04:10):
of life and reclaim theiridentity, voice and dreams.
As an author, speaker, mentorand coach, she shares God's
redemptive power through herbooks, including Sideline no
More Broken Chapters and herlatest Rise Up, lady Bellator.
Eileen's mission is clear tohelp women pursue their dreams
(04:31):
without guilt or shame, and tolive in the fullness of who God
created them to be.
So, eileen, welcome to theStarter Girl Show we are so glad
to have you here today.
Eileen Noyes (04:40):
Thank you for having me.
What a great intro.
It's always good to get pumpedup Like thank you.
Jennifer Loehding (04:46):
So, eileen, one of the things you know I
always like to start this showoff, because I feel like the
whole premise of Starter Girlsis all about showing how we
change the trajectory of ourlives, and that's what I love
about the storytelling is thateverybody that comes on here, I
feel like, has had to make somechoice to do something different
in their life.
It comes on here I feel likeit's had to make some choice to
do something different in theirlife, and some of us have, you
(05:07):
know, really profound stories,and some it may be career shifts
, you know, marital shifts,health shifts, whatever that is,
and so you have obviously madeshifts in your life to get to
where you are today.
And so I kind of want to startthere.
My audience doesn't know whoyou are yet.
By the we get done, you know,at the end of this I hope
they're going to know who EileenNoyes is.
But I want you to take us backto what brought you to this
place that you are today.
(05:28):
Sure, well, it's funny that youcall it that.
Eileen Noyes (05:31):
Your show's called Starter Girls, so you're.
So when I think of starter, Ithink of sports.
So the thing with me is I wasan NFL wife.
That was back in the early2000s, so before that actually,
I worked with athletics.
I played volleyball, I was onthe shorter side, which made me
very focused on the strengthpart and jumping higher and all
(05:55):
those things.
So I had to work on mydisadvantages, I had to
strengthen those things.
So I was a strength coach and Iworked with all the athletes
and then there was a completeshift from seeing hundreds of
people every day knowing mypurpose to then stopping
everything, putting my life onhold to support my spouse, and
so that's what I did.
(06:16):
He got drafted to Green Bay.
I followed the year after andlife was completely different.
So it started there and youknow, it's just that acclimating
to.
All of a sudden.
I mean, it was like it's likelife kind of went and took.
It went on a path of its own.
So you know, here I'm, you know, a strength coach.
(06:39):
I had purpose, all these things, and all of a sudden I really
felt like, oh, you're the wifeof, and it's just over and over.
You're the wife of and it'sjust over and over.
You're the wife of, you're thewife of, and the Green Bay is
that's everything.
Football is everything.
So I felt like I stepped into agreen and gold world that, I
mean, it was just.
It was just nothing like I'veever known before.
So it just kind of startedthere.
(07:00):
And so, long story short, I meanwe were ones who shared our
faith.
So he's a very outspokenChristian man.
We shared our faith with theteam.
We brought them to differentoutreaches you know sports
outreaches that had to do with,like couples getting better, you
know, encouraging people tohave kids, and we were very big
(07:21):
in the community.
Well, after, oh gosh, abouteight years after he was done
with in the league.
So we played for nine years,which is a long time he, um, he
shifted his beliefs to one thatwas not part of our mouths and
so it was, you know, going fromour christian foundation of
marriage to, all of a sudden,polygamy was okay, because I
(07:46):
wore makeup and because I didn'thave a t-shirt and long skirt
and head cover.
I was a Jezebel, the kids and Iwere property.
So it was a complete 180 fromwhat we knew.
And so I came to a crossroads.
And all this under wraps,because I didn't want, I didn't
know who to share it with.
It was God.
(08:07):
How do I navigate through this,like what is going on?
I want to be a good wife, butthis is not what we agreed on,
and so it was about three orfour years in private kind of.
I mean, really, I had only onlytold five girls, and so they
were the ones that helped menavigate through, and you know,
(08:29):
after that I just I had kind ofturned with.
Okay, we, he wanted to take usto this actual cult that was
based out of tennessee, and Ijust knew this was not not
something that we could do, andso we stepped, stepped away.
We actually had an escape plan.
We had to leave our home.
We stepped away in the hopesthat he would come back around,
(08:50):
that he would see what was onthe line, and he never did, and
so his belief system has takenhim to where more than one life
is okay, he now has.
That's what's going on.
There's no relationship, nocontact right now with the kids
Very minimal, and it's neverlike it's not relational or
anything like that.
But I mean, I really had to setthe tone for my kids, of
(09:13):
forgiveness, of choosing joy, ofnot playing victim.
I just knew that I was in thisposition and so much comes
spiritually I can't evenseparate that that my job is to
take care of these kids, theirlives, they have purpose, they
have, you know, god has plansfor them.
And so I just knew it was sucha significant thing to keep
(09:37):
pushing through all that crazy,to give them the life and the
upbringing and the drive tocontinue pushing through
adversity that you know life ishappening, even still, even in
all this life is happening forthem, not to them.
(09:58):
And so that's I mean, in asuper nutshell version, that's
what happened.
Wow, give me chills.
Yeah, life just shifted for meand I'm super thankful and that
whole thing.
I mean, if you take that prosports world, you know that it
looks from the outside, it lookslike such glitz and glamour,
(10:19):
and it's definitely a part of it, but it's not all of it.
It's definitely a part of it,but it's not all of it.
So my part is to see that thosewomen who are in those fard
seasons, they have someone totalk to, because mine is not an
isolated incident.
There's four women whosehusbands, or now ex-husbands,
have joined the cult.
That was seven, eight years ago.
This is still happening now towhere just the fact that they
(10:44):
see or hear my story, they knowto come to someone, I mean, and
it's how there's two that aregoing through it right now in a
different situation.
So so that's where heart is tohelp them again, not in just
those tough situations but eventhe healthiest of marriages.
People that are part of thatbeen part of the NFL world.
There's just place, and it'sthis feeling of I'm that been
(11:04):
part of the NFL world.
There's just place, and thisfeeling of I'm suffering in
silence because of theexpectations and because of
holding it in.
Because you know, like there'sone girl.
She's like I had to holdeverything in because people
were telling me don't stress outyour husband.
It's like you know he's got tofocus, he's got to, you know,
just be ready for the game, andso she just felt like she
stuffed all her emotions toliterally adjust was affecting
(11:27):
her health.
So it's such a wide range ofyou know people that there's
just they're just differentdynamics to that world that
people just don't know.
So I just wanted to not justexpose it for the sake of
exposing it, but to really belike hey, I want to be that
outlet, because I know I didn'thave it, I didn't have anybody
(11:47):
to help me navigate through, andI know that being, you know, a
couple steps ahead, seeing whatthey don't see yet, to be able
to help them be proactive, issomething that I really, you
know, desire to do.
Jennifer Loehding (12:00):
Yeah, there's like my head as you're talking
and there's so many things withthis, right, like so many angles
here, because it's like notonly are you dealing, you know,
we're talking about humans here,right, humans are complex.
Right, that we're talking aboutthere's this whole idea of
you've got this like basicallycrisis in your world, but you
are in a position to where youcan't make a big scene Like you
(12:22):
get, you're trying to hide thisfrom the public and you're
dealing with all this internallyand it's like what do you do?
Like, what's the right thing todo?
Right, like you don't know inthe moment.
And so I say to you you knowthat, and it's admirable that
you found that way, right, likeyou found that way out of that,
(12:43):
because I think that would behard for any human being outside
of the NFL dealing with whatyou dealt with, period.
And you had all these kiddostoo.
You had these children that youhad to think about first and
foremost and to make sure thatthey're in good space, safe, and
all of those things.
And I love that you said youknow the happening for them and
(13:04):
not to them thing, because thatis something, oh my gosh.
Like you know, right now I'mthinking about John Maxwell, his
book.
You know, sometimes you win,sometimes you learn.
And he talks about is ithappening to you or through you?
And it's something that I'vetalked to, you know, like I've
had that conversation with myson, I've had it with my husband
before, like, is somethinghappening to you or through you?
(13:25):
Is it for you, like what?
You know how we look at things.
So it's so admirable thatyou've been able to, you know,
push through that weather,through that, and where you are
now.
I mean, just think about that.
You've got a voice now and it'sgiving you the ability now to
hopefully help these other womenthat are navigating this space
to know that hey, here'ssomebody who's actually
(13:46):
weathered through this and comeout on the other side.
So you know powerful.
Eileen Noyes (13:51):
Thank you, yeah, it's been.
It's not been easy.
And then the thing you know, ifwe're talking about, uh, the
desire to, you know, push ahead.
So here I'm stay home mom for20 plus years, had one full-time
job before I got married, andso then to to navigate through,
(14:12):
I just like writing, you know, I, I I've always, that's just
always been in me, and it'sfunny because I knew that as a
writer, when I felt like it wastime to find the right, I
honestly thought all right, thisis going to be a memoir, this
is going to be all the thingsthat that I went through, and
not in a bashing way, but it waslike this.
(14:32):
You know, usually when you hear, especially in the limelight,
um, you hear because, like, whatthey do is like they lift you
up, and then, when things gocrazy, they highlight that too,
and then all of a sudden, it'slike you don't hear about
anything anymore and I just wantto be like, wait, hold on here.
Hey, things are, things areokay, you know.
Yeah, it's not like, you know,just like too bad a tragedy, I
(14:55):
mean, and and for sure there's aseparate part of it.
But I remember, you know,thinking, okay, I'm gonna write
this book and I felt somethingin me say no, you can't go full
throttle on telling everybodyeverything that happened because
it's going to freak people out.
It's like this first book.
It was to the pro athlete wivesto say, hey, you know, I
understand that there's atransition going into the game.
(15:17):
There's relationship dynamicsand the fans and the cheating
and all that that people don'tunderstand.
How do you navigate throughthat?
How are you his number one fanwhile still telling him hey,
honey, can you hang out with thekids, can you pay the bills,
can you take out the trash?
Can we hang out?
There's that, there's theexpectations of family and the
money and especially, seeing allthis with the draft going on, I
(15:41):
see it through a different lens.
I know it's like such a great,exciting thing for everybody,
but to know that on the otherside of those celebrations is
there's going to be crossroadsof hard relationship dynamics, a
lot of, like you know,relationship breakdowns.
So there's that I know I had ashopping addiction because I
didn't I lacked purpose.
That I know I had a shoppingaddiction because I lacked
(16:03):
purpose.
It was my way of numbing thingsand just kind of being in that
world, of feeling like this isthe expectation of how you're
supposed to look and all thosethings.
And then that transition out ofthe game which is super hard,
not only for her but obviouslyfor him.
I don't think there's agrieving.
There may be some things outthere, but it's hard.
Not everybody goes intocommentating or coaching and
(16:26):
that's what people assume.
So in writing that and doingall those things, like it's hard
.
I self-published, so it's justhard.
It's like the writer part of meand that part is easy.
But to go out there and kind of, you know you have to sell
yourself in a way and that'sdefinitely not easy for me.
(16:47):
You know, doing all the things,the marketing, the promoting,
all those initials at one pointI think I'm getting them all.
But when you hear ROI or theTRM, I'm like what is this stuff
?
Like what is this stuff?
So getting into this world ofentrepreneurship which I really
didn't even care for that word Ibrought just ticker and
(17:09):
motivated by money but to seethat an entrepreneur is someone
who sees a problem and wants tosolve it and wants to build a
need, when I saw it from thatpoint of view, it changed
everything for me and so I'mjust pushing through because I'm
in the early stages, I'm doingsome, you know, I think
sometimes I have to oh I do.
Just like every person, you haveto celebrate your wins and
(17:30):
sometimes I don't.
You know, it's like I wrote abook and I'm like, okay next, I
wrote a book Next, becausethat's just my mentality,
especially with a lot of kids.
But to be able to celebratethose things and to like, yeah,
just smell the roses and then go, okay, like it's okay, like
there's there's lulls and it'sthis process and there's trials,
and so I'm pushing through in awhole different way where, um,
(17:51):
even in marriage, there's thingsthat have been just as
challenging, if not morechallenging and crazy to say,
than the actual going throughall that cold stuff.
Jennifer Loehding (18:02):
You know, the first time around, so it's life
, yeah, and you know I feel likelistening to you and we have
very different lives.
But there's so many things yousaid there that I think, as
entrepreneurs, we all sort offeel like.
I self-published my book aswell, and when I wrote my book,
many of the people listening tothese episodes know my story.
(18:23):
But when I wrote that book,mine was really probably
similarly to yours kind of acathartic release.
I didn't I don't even know or Ididn't care about making money.
Really, it was really I justwanted to write to document what
I had gone through completelydifferent story from yours.
So I don't ever like todiminish anybody's story, but I
(18:44):
think where I'm listening toyour heart is when I when you're
talking about like ROI, like Iget it, I want to say I get it
because I've had to.
Really, you know like I was.
I spent 22 years in Mary Kay inleadership in Mary Kay, and then
I had a health crisis thatforced me to shift directions
and then I ended up after 22years leaving and forming a new
business and going into a wholenother field, when that was all
I had known from the time I wasin my late 20s up until almost
(19:08):
my late 50s now, and so you know, I hear these things and I want
to say to you I think these arelike things we go through as
entrepreneurs this whole talkingabout marketing yourself and
really putting yourself outthere and, just to your point,
also a stay-at-home mom for20-something years my kids are
all grown now but I've neverworked outside of the home since
I true story, since I wasn'tlet me take it this way I was an
(19:30):
aerobics instructor for a while, so I did work at battles, I
did work at some clubs, so I didget a paycheck up until about
2004,.
But I haven't had a real likecorporate job since 1996, if
that tells you anything.
So I wouldn't even know what todo at this point I'm in my
early fifties now.
(19:51):
What to even do if I had to goback out into the workforce to
do an actual like I don't knowwhere they hire me, like at
Target or something, yeah, liketo do.
You know what I mean.
I want to say all that to say toyou, not to say anything like
diminish you, but to say I hearyou and I and I and I feel your,
what you're talking about andthe pain with that, but I think
(20:13):
again it goes back to look atwhere you are now.
I mean, I think that all ofthese things that you had have
given you this voice now to beable to yeah, you've got a
purpose and a passion, right,and all this money.
I think that money all comeswith that purpose and that
passion that you have, but alsothe addressing those pain points
that those people have right,like knowing where those people
(20:35):
are coming from?
Eileen Noyes (20:36):
Yeah, for sure.
And I think too, like I look atI don't want to say competitors
, but what you're looking at,what's out there.
And so there are differentgroups that you know.
It's like how do you, how doyou connect, like are you going
to somehow do something together?
And as I'm observing, I'mseeing that they do that, what I
(21:00):
do and what they do.
So there's just two particulargroups that I know.
There may be more, but there'swomen of the NFL and there's off
the field.
Those are two organizationsthat those are the only two
organizations that I know inregards to, you know, pro sports
or pro football.
And you know I see that theseason that they're highlighting
(21:22):
is different than mine.
So, you know, as I'm lookingand I'm thinking like, why do I
have to do this?
It's already out there.
Well then, as these specificwomen are coming to me, you know
, when you get discouraged andyou want to quit but then
there's always those things thatyou know, I know it's from God
I just feel like someone willcall and go.
(21:43):
Thank you so much that you'redoing this.
Like this is such a need.
Like I am realizing that what Ithought I was just going
through by myself this wholething of this theme where I felt
like I was going throughhealing and freedom, I'm
realizing that that is going tobe a big foundational thing for
these women.
A lot of times we try to go,push through and do career stuff
(22:04):
and do you know the biggerthings, but we've got blind
spots and we've got differentthings because we're not healed.
And so to me, I'm just thinkingI want to get to those places.
Let me give an example.
So I have a podcast now too,and as it's getting out there,
there's different women fromsports have been saying, saying
like I want to get on, I want toshare my story and I really
(22:27):
have to be discerning about itbecause I don't want it to be a
bash session.
I want it to be well, hey, likethis is.
I have eyes of compassion for myex, you know, and I have
forgiven him and I've had to gothrough a huge layer of
forgiveness of not evenrealizing that I didn't even
allow myself to feel the emotionof all that stuff and all those
things.
But there's a place of justhealing and maturity, that play
(22:53):
that goes along with your,whatever it is you're doing.
So I had to go, okay, time out,like, like, let's get you
healed so that you becauseyou're going to see with fresh
eyes your, your, your situation,your, you know all those
circumstances you're going tosee them in totally different
eyes a year from now, two yearsfrom now.
And so I had to really, youknow, just think about that and
(23:14):
reflect on that and know that,gosh, this is part of the cross
and all for me.
But for these women like, hey,let's get you some healing, like
this wound is way fresher foryou.
So let's not just go out thereand just say something that
you'll regret later on.
So there's just different parts, but anyways, it's just like
you're just seeing that for me,that super small linch that I'm
(23:38):
trying to reach is even smallerthan what I, you know,
anticipated.
Jennifer Loehding (23:43):
Yeah, one.
There's great takeaways fromthat because, you know, in
listening to that, I mean it'sthe same thing, I think, for
really all of us as podcastersshould be thinking that way
about who we bring on.
I mean there's a takeaway inthat, right, by being selective
about who you bring on, becauseyou're trying to look for a
certain whether it's ademographic or a type of
whatever it is that you'relooking for for your podcast,
(24:03):
and I do think you know thatcomes in with you know the
boundaries and really definingwhat you want and who you're
looking for.
But also, in your conversationhere, talking about that
forgiveness piece, right, like Ithink that's a huge piece, and
what you're kind of alluding tohere is this idea that it's kind
(24:30):
of like the way I put it iswhen I wrote my book.
You know, when I wrote my bookin 2019, I was fresh out of a
four year medical crisis with adisease that they call a suicide
disease.
It's extremely painful and Ihave a very different.
I have a very different viewthen than I do now.
Same thing with my ex-husbandthat I had, you know, when I
married at 19.
I have a very different viewnow.
In fact, I saw my parents thisweekend and they're like hey,
have you ever?
Okay, now let me back up.
I've been married now for 29years.
That guy I was married to forthree years.
We divorced in 92.
(24:55):
I don't know where this guy is,I don't care, but my dad asked
me the other day.
He's like do you know wherething is?
If I were to see him today?
There was no, there's noemotion, there'd be no hate,
there'd be no like whatever,right, because it's over it.
But when it happened I hatedthe guy like I hated this guy,
right.
So there's something about thatwhole healing process, right.
And I think when you're likeyou're saying, when you come
(25:16):
from a place of healing, you canlook at things more objectively
, right, you can look at theoverall picture here and I just
think you in that process, youallow yourself, like you said,
to forgive yourself too, right,like you can't, you can't look
at that fresh until you makethat forgiveness for both the
person victor, right and thevictim, like whatever aspect
that is that you're looking.
(25:36):
So I think you're.
You're right in doing that andit's good.
You know, and I had ironicallyI never actually said ironically
I had a girl on my show wayback when on this Starter Girl
show.
It was one of my very firstepisodes when I brought my
second co-host on.
She was also a former NFLfootball wife and she had a
really I need to connect you two.
(25:58):
She had a really good story.
The thing I'm bringing that, ifwe're up now, is she's doing
phenomenal.
I mean, she's just doing really, really well and at the time
that she came on she was.
But she is just a beautifulgirl, beautiful girl and I need
to connect you two.
As you were talking, I totallyneed to connect you two because
you will love her.
I still follow her.
But yeah, she was a fun episodeand I can't remember all of her
(26:21):
story.
I don't know if there was someabuse, but I do remember her
talking a little bit aboutgetting lost in this whole
process of being this NFL wifeand you know the glamour of this
and how we see it on theoutside, but it's not.
You know, when you're on theother side of it, it's like,
right, the grass isn't alwaysgreener on the other side, kind
of thing, right?
Oh wait, hold on.
Eileen Noyes (26:42):
Okay, sorry I lost you.
Jennifer Loehding (26:45):
I was saying there's this whole other side,
like we see it, you know on oneside, but then the grass is not
always greener on the other side, right yes?
Eileen Noyes (26:53):
Yeah, for sure, and I think yeah and it's.
You know, it's how you receiveit, it's how you just receive it
Because it's well.
I've learned, especially nowlike that, that timeframe of
hearing all the fans and all theexpectations, whether it be
(27:21):
from family, whether it be fromyou know just different.
You see things on what they sayabout him that it could have
been.
I could have been easilyoffended by those things or I
could have gotten caught up insomeone saying this and someone
saying that and I made thatchoice back then.
I'm not going to let this stuffget to me.
(27:42):
I mean, I saw how there werecertain people, you know, there
was a situation where we wereout to dinner with another
couple and kids and things likethat.
They kept asking for autographsand I saw this girl just
seething and I saw how itcreated tension in our dinner
and between them as a couple andI was like gosh, like you know,
(28:03):
there's certain things that wecan't control.
We can't control the fans.
I mean we can say no, butthey're going to come, you know,
and so I just didn't want that.
That was just very significantfor me to say I don't want that.
Well, here with all the fansand all those things fast
forward to.
When things went down with my exex um I, when we stepped away,
(28:23):
that was that was me beingcompletely quiet and not knowing
what was going on.
And I come back, you know.
So I'm gone for 40 days with mykids.
We're just, you know, we just,yeah, my ex didn't know where we
were.
We felt like we had to bringhim back to school.
And I come back and I look likethe crazy person.
So all these stories have beensaid about me on YouTube.
(28:45):
Then we're talking like if you,if you google me or my ex,
there's over 300 videos of how I, you know, tore my house down
and how I was the gold diggerand I never loved my spouse.
All these things are on YouTubeto where, like people talking
about me and my name being likejust gone through the ringer to
(29:06):
be able to.
I mean, it's just like apreparation like you know what.
I don't need to be focused onwhat people say.
I know the truth.
The truth sets me free and I'mnot going to sit here and defend
myself.
I'm not going to let it get tome.
I'm just going to stay laserfocused on what I need to do and
that's, you know, stay close toGod, raise my kids and do what
(29:26):
I'm called to do, and so I seeall that as kind of training
ground for the hard, for thereal hard stuff that came my way
.
Jennifer Loehding (29:34):
Yeah, well, and I just it's like crazy to me
to think that you had to gothrough that because you know
it's interesting.
Yeah, I, you see, like, when Ithink about you know, like being
in the wildlife, we just talklet's back this up, let's, let's
(29:54):
take the remove this to like,say, somebody trying to build
like their YouTube page or theirpodcast page, remove this out,
like I had a girl on my on myshow a few weeks ago.
That was she's an amputee andshe started doing her, her
social media.
She was tracking she's a, she'sa paradisage which is
Paralympics horse riding, and soI had no idea.
I didn't look that up, I didn'tknow what it was, I had to go
look it up, but she starteddocumenting eight years ago this
journey that she's doing.
Well, now she's built hersocial media.
(30:16):
Her Instagram paid up to likealmost 200,000 followers, right.
And you think about somebodynow like you're in the
entrepreneur space now buildinga podcast, and so think about,
like, where we are asentrepreneurs, right, we're like
trying to build our audienceand all of that, right.
And we got into this wholeconversation about kind of what
you're talking about in adifferent way, about social
media and the hate messages andhow people would send her.
(30:39):
And I'm thinking this poor girl, she is an amputee and all
she's doing right now is reallyjust trying to be an advocate
for disabilities, right,disabilities.
And she gets these hatemessages from people.
And we had the wholeconversation about, like, how
you had to have, you have tohave thick skin, right, and I'm
thinking the entire time like,like, do you want this?
(30:59):
Like, why do you really wantthis in your life?
Because here we are building ourbusiness and we're building
podcasts, right, like, and I'mtalking to my YouTube guy and
we're talking about gettingclicks on videos and I'm having
this internal dialogue with Idon't care if those videos go
viral.
Like, I just wanted to hit theright people because I don't
want all that mess, I don't wantall that garbage from these
(31:20):
crazy people out there, right,like, because I don't know about
you, but I just don't have theenergy for it, like, I don't
have the patience or the energy.
So I listen to this and I think, gosh, that has to be so hard
to be in those positions whereyou have no control of that and
you've just got crazy people outthere just putting garbage out
there, the unfactual informationabout you out there and you
(31:41):
just got to basically put theblinders on and just ignore it.
Eileen Noyes (31:45):
You know, you just have to have thick skin.
Yeah, you definitely have totreat it for that, because it
was hard.
I remember going okay, I don'twant to fight, but that's not
true, and that's not true and Ijust want to defend myself, it's
just like people don't know,right, they don't know.
Jennifer Loehding (32:06):
You know it could just be so hard.
I get in, you know, I get insometimes and even, like when I
get into X and I'm looking atall the stories and things going
you know I can still call itTwitter, but X, whatever and I'm
looking at all the things goingI don't like, well, you know
we're lying, they're justputting stuff out there for
clickbait to get people to clickon.
You know they're lying andpeople just don't like I don't
(32:28):
know about you, but the wholeintegrity thing just makes me
crazy, you know, and that's whatit is.
It's about the how do we getthe clicks?
Talk about things that are, youknow, are going to get people's
attention, you know, and oh, itjust makes me crazy.
I just it's admirable.
Like I said, I'm so glad you'reon the other side of this.
That's that's all I got to say.
You are definitely a aninspiration for other, for other
(32:49):
women that are going throughwhat you're doing, but even
people out there that are tryingto.
You know, weather through thatand just in in helping give
people the ear that sometimesyou do.
You just got to put thoseblinders on and stay true to
your purpose and your callingand your truth.
Okay, so awesome, eileen, soyou're doing awesome stuff.
So here's what I do want to ask.
I've got a couple of funquestions I want to ask you, but
for somebody we've talked a lotabout.
(33:11):
You know the NFL life and yourbook, and then you know what
kind of what brought you to thisplace.
But I want to focus on theentrepreneur side of this,
because you did write this book.
You've got this podcast you'redoing We've talked a lot about
you know the art we mentionedthe ROI and really moving into
that space where we got to thinkabout, okay, the business part
of things.
So maybe you know, what advicewould you lend somebody that is
(33:35):
maybe, I don't know, maybethey're coming from the
corporate space or maybe they'relike you and I.
They're in the you you knowstay-at-home mom space and
they're moving into thisentrepreneur space.
What's something maybe youwould lend them as advice?
Eileen Noyes (33:49):
well, a couple of things.
This one keep pushing through,um, staying positive and kidding
with people that have gonebefore you.
So for me, I think that's beena hard thing is, you know, going
into the entrepreneurship world.
It was, there was a blanketentrepreneurship, which for me
at that time was great, you know, just understanding what, what
(34:12):
all that meant.
Like I said, you know, justhelping people out.
But you know there was a.
I felt like there was a lullbecause I was in these big
general groups that you knowthey were talking about their
own businesses and I just feltlike there was a lull because I
was in these big general groupsthat you know they were talking
about their own businesses and Ijust felt like, okay, let me
glean as much as I can, but Ineed someone to help me step
into really honing in on.
(34:34):
You know, for me it's reachingthem, it's establishing things
so I could start coaching.
It's very specific stuff and Iwouldn't have known I probably
would still be floating aroundif I didn't connect with people
that have gone before me whoreally who I can really pick
their brains and again, that youknow that thing of being
(34:56):
positive.
Here's another thing who arestay-at-home moms and, just like
you and I, I think the one bigthing is seeing that you have
what it takes, because it's easyto like disqualify yourselves
and say, okay, I don't have a, Idon't have a.
You know, I don't have thisdegree, I don't have this
license, or I don't, I have not,I don't have like a resume, but
(35:17):
I know that as a stay-at-homemom, there are so many skills of
what, just what we've gonethrough and I don't know if
you're gonna tell us youraudience, but just the whole
thing of like being flexible andanything goes.
We've had fun, like you know,internet issues, probably on my
side, but there's so many thingsthat um, there there's.
(35:38):
We've learned so many things toto just shift on a dime or, you
know, like um, to learn to to.
For me, I have these divide andconquer type of mentalities
because it's easy to getoverwhelmed, but when you're
stable mom, there's justsomething in you that just has
to find the answers and so Ijust think, um, stable mom, you
(36:11):
have, you have all the things.
Jennifer Loehding (36:12):
You have a CEO mentality in a lot of ways,
so don't underestimate thosethings.
So those are my big tipsnetwork marketing space.
For so long, you know, I builtout this program and it was so
crazy because when I built itout it really had the mindset of
, you know, like people ask melike who is it for?
Well, it's really for anyfemale entrepreneur any of them.
But a lot of it.
When I was building it out, Ireally had that mom in my mind
(36:35):
because I knew what it was likeworking that business, you know,
with an 18 month old and thenhaving another baby and then
having another, and goingthrough the navigating those
spaces all the way from babiesin diapers to young you know
toddlers to young age, middleschool, high school and now
we're in young adult, you knowage, which is all another
damning in itself, Right, butyou are so right and just in
(36:59):
case in point, it's just todayin our podcast episode we have
had to pivot and turn like threeor four times each time.
So, yes, I agree with you 100%,wholeheartedly, that just
because you have been at homeraising children does not mean
you can't do all the things youneed to do and be successful as
(37:19):
an entrepreneur right, Becauseit's just a pivot.
It's just a different thingthat you've had to learn to
probably tackle in all the timesyou've been doing diapers,
navigating kids, the dinner andthe car.
Hey, carpool, let's not talkabout that Like having kids in
multiple schools, right, andnavigating the carpool in
different schools.
I mean, that is a challengeitself, right.
Eileen Noyes (37:41):
For sure.
Oh my gosh, all of it, all ofit.
And you know, I, I'm proud thatthere's been times where I've
talked to my husband.
I'm like, you know, this stuffis hard.
I just wanted to go back tojust being a stable mom, so all
this stuff is just justchallenging.
But you, you just push through,you push through and I think
that you know when they're, whenyou're passionate about
(38:13):
something.
To me it's like when yourpassions and your burdens and
your skills, like when they fallin line, man, that's your sweet
spot.
And when you're in your sweetspot, when you know that you
want to do this, like whenadversity comes.
Adversity comes in so manydifferent ways, but I want to do
this.
I want to keep pushing through.
I may have to take shifts onyou know, just different things
here and there, but I'm going tokeep going up.
I don't want to quit this oneand I know I'm not like.
I know that I'm going to pushyou because it all comes from
that heart of what I wentthrough and how I want to help
(38:36):
them.
And and I, I just know it'sit's just, it's just, it's just
timing and and and justdiligence, determination.
Jennifer Loehding (38:42):
So yeah, and you guys have 15 kids blended
now.
So you are like the mom.
I mean, you are doing it.
Eileen Noyes (38:49):
I mean I, I don't know, because he has a seven
like I, um, he, we have his uh,two youngest, which are 13 and
16 and they get along great withum, with mine and so, and so a
lot of his are older, so wedon't see them.
So they are in, uh, they're,they're, you know, the midwest
um, so we don't get to see themtoo often, but it's not ever
(39:11):
been those, you know, big, bigchristmas gatherings or
thanksgiving.
I wish it had been nice, butthere's nothing like that.
Jennifer Loehding (39:18):
So I don't have 15 ever at once in a white
guy hey, but you let you movedwith eight and I'm impressed
with that because I have three.
And I'm telling you, you know,like I always joke, I say you
know that one, like going fromone to two, I think, is like the
hardest.
After that you could probablyhave a bunch, right, cause
you're crazy anyways.
But like I just really havethis story, I, you know, I, I
(39:46):
remember having my second childon my hip crying, and the
four-year-olds jumping up on theisland to make a tortilla, like
put American cheese on atortilla in the microwave
because she had learned to cooktortillas.
Because I was like I am going topull my hair out with these two
kids.
Like I got a baby on the hip,I'm trying to be a mom and I got
the one climbing the countertrying to cook tortillas, you
know.
But after that we got to numberthree and I was like man, we
(40:08):
were just crazy at that point.
Like I got baby number three,you know sumo crawling on the
floor after baby number twobecause he wants to walk.
I'm like at that point you justhave 10, I guess I don't know,
you know you know well.
Eileen Noyes (40:24):
So I admire them like yeah, yeah, it was like
that for a long time, where it'slike you know it is, it's like
I just enjoy, enjoy the ride.
But and there, when they getolder, it's challenging, whether
, like now, the high school, thecollege and trying to go to
different games and catchingeverything, it's for sure, right
, especially so I.
They're all in school now, soI've got my youngest, who's
seven, so he's finally in school, and so it gives my window of,
(40:47):
you know, typically from like 8,30 to three.
It gives me window opportunityfor me to do my stuff.
But, man, after that from threeto nine.
Sometimes I'm driving, which isjust doing it.
Jennifer Loehding (40:59):
Yeah, you know what eileen is so weird?
Because we're kind of now we'reat the empty net stage, which
is so weird because for so long,you know, I hear you and I'm
like it was like soccer karate.
It was this every week we wouldhave soccer tournaments that
we'd go from Fridays, you know.
And now it's so weird becausewe're like they're all kind of
out right now and they're adultsand we're like they're adults
(41:23):
and we're like we're bored.
You know like what?
That?
We were like her job, we'regonna go up there sit up and
she's a bartender.
You know like we're gonna gosit at her job and just hang out
.
So we do, we show up.
We're like, hey, page, we'recoming to hang out at the bar
today with you.
Yeah, I'm not gonna drink it, Ijust want them offer.
You know, like that's wherewe're at.
It's such a weird feelingbecause you know we were, we
were young when we had kids.
We never had that whole liketime where we were doing like
(41:45):
all the traveling.
And now we're like in thisother phase where it's like
we're back to like when we werein our early 20s, that short
time, that very minimal windowof time we had where we didn't
have kids, and so now it's likewe can do things and I'm like,
hey, it's kind of cool, we gotfree time, we can change.
Yeah, we can be when we want.
You know I always tell people,I give people hope.
It's like you get back to that.
(42:06):
You know you hear the peoplesay the empty nest thing is like
great, you know, because you'relike get to be a kid again.
You know.
So, yeah, well, that wasperfect for a long time with me.
It's a little ways to know.
Like you know, as a mom doingall these things, like what's
the one thing that you do foryourself like every day to just
(42:28):
be like to maybe rechargeyourself?
You said you got that windowwhere they're all gone.
Eileen Noyes (42:39):
So what's the one thing that's important to you?
Well, this is not therecharging window, but I have to
get up early, like't I don'tcare to.
I mean, it'd be great to sleepin, but that's where I know I
can have um, just time, thatpeace and quiet.
It's something about getting upwhere there's no one that I
have to answer to.
I can work out, I could pray, Ican, I could just watch the sun
(43:00):
.
I mean sunrise, all thosethings like that is, I guess, in
a sense, recharging, but that'sthat's me time I would love to
do, you know, and then workingout, working out for sure, like
if I can work out, that isdefinitely, uh, that stress
reliever and it's just, you know, when you like I'm 50s also,
that was when your body is goingthrough those changes in that
(43:22):
whole menopause stuff, it's likeI have to do that, like I need
to work out because I'm still.
It's a puzzle.
Jennifer Loehding (43:28):
It's a puzzle right now If you you know, in
Philly it's always no, and I butyou, yeah, I get up early too.
I like that more.
You get so much done in themorning when you have that
little quiet time by yourself,right like you get that almost
Donald man.
You know it's so weird becauseI don't know about you, but I
was not like ever was a morningperson like my mother used to
when I was a kid, come in thereand get me out like she'd have
(43:48):
to turn my way.
You know, now it's like I setmy alarm, but I really don't
even need it.
I just wake up.
Even on the weekend I'm like,oh, I'm gonna sleep until 6 am.
It never happened doesn't, itdoesn't happen.
Yeah, I just love thoselistening times yeah.
Eileen Noyes (44:06):
It is, and I don't know.
I don't know what my cat'sproblem is, but she, she'll jump
across us at 3.30.
It's almost like clockwork andI'm like dude, like, and then,
because I know she wants to gooutside, I left the door open
yesterday practically, and shestill didn't.
I was so mad.
I'm like dude, I need thatextra, because I'll wake up
(44:28):
between 4, 3, and 5.
And so I'm like come on, Justoh shit.
So she's been messing up.
Jennifer Loehding (44:35):
Your cat mind must be in sync right now,
because I just was tellingsomeone today that last night I
was like man, I went to bedearly and I was so excited
because I went to bed and at 3am in my bed this morning, my
cat comes in and starts meowingand pawing.
I'm like, uh-uh, I was firstborn Cat, my cat, or you and
(44:56):
some fellow.
I love it.
Go to bed.
I love it.
Wiley, you are awesome.
Yeah, no, go to bed.
I love it.
Wiley, you are awesome and Iapplaud you for like all the
things you're doing and your,your books and your podcasts and
you know and uh, being a mom toall those kids and and doing it
all you're I mean, you'rewearing the hats, you're doing
it all and I think it's great.
I think that's what this is allabout.
(45:17):
You know the funny thing when Istarted just so you know, in
the very beginning you mentionedabout when you hear starter.
You know we're thinking ofthing.
When I started just so, youknow, in the very beginning you
mentioned about when you hearstarter you were thinking of
sports.
When I first started this showI've said this in several
episodes we were two ex-Mary Kaysales directors that started
the show and when we started it,it was all about empowering
women and the tagline wasbasically whether you're
starting a business, a brand ora movement, we're here to talk
(45:38):
about it.
That's what we were doing.
We had no idea what we weretrying to do with this show and
I tell people you know I'veheard a lot from you about
passion and all of this.
You know this show has takenmany navigations.
I've, you know, co-host cameand left, another one came and
left still great friends of mine, but they just went on to
pursue other passions.
But this show, you know, I putit on hold for a while, for a
(46:00):
year, brought it back and when Ibrought it back in 23, it had a
little bit of the originalmovement, but it really became
something more powerful for meand it was really about how do I
help women which is so weirdbecause we have a lot of men
listen to the show but it wasreally about how do I help women
navigate this space, beingentrepreneurs and wearing all of
(46:23):
these hats that we're talkingabout right now, like being the
mom, being the CEO of theirfamily, being successful in work
and life, and everything that Ido with this show is really
because of a lot of the lessonsI've had to learn in my journey
being a mom, weathering adisease.
You know the complexities ofall of this marriage, all of
(46:43):
these different things and thestory is very different than
yours, but a lot of it is.
We have parallels in that we'vegone through hard things and
had to have resilience, grit toget out on the other side, and
you know the purpose and passionin all of this, and so I love
that when I can find people likeyou to come in here and speak
these truths and talk aboutthese things.
(47:04):
Even though the stories aredifferent, the parallels, the
resonating messages are alwaysthe same and that is how do we
help women thrive inrelationships, money, career,
our families and, mostimportantly, health and
well-being?
Right, because that's the mostimportant part.
So if our audience wants to getin touch with you, I know after
listening to somebody's gonna belike you know, where do I find
(47:26):
eileen?
Where do I get her books?
How do I listen to her show?
All of those things, where doyou want us to send them?
I mean?
Eileen Noyes (47:31):
well, you know eileen noise on facebook.
That's the easiest.
Hello at lady bellator, um, uh,that's um my brand.
So, lady bell, just let me tellyou real quick Lady meaning
royalty, so she's a daughter ofGod.
And then Bellator is warrior inLatin, so you're royalty, so
(47:54):
you're a princess, you're aqueen, but you are, you're a
driven warrior.
So you're both of those.
So hello at ladybellatorcom.
You can watch my podcast, theUnsideline Life those you're
both of those.
So hello at ladybellatorcom.
You can watch my podcast, theUnsideline Life.
Those usually launch onWednesdays.
And yeah, just all the thingsInstagram, linkedin, same stuff.
Jennifer Loehding (48:12):
And then my books are on Amazon.
I love it.
You're awesome, eileen, you'reamazing.
Keep doing your thing.
I love it.
I love it For our audience ofcourse, you and all the you know
tuning into the show.
We hope that you found it bothinspiring and informative and,
of course, if you did, you knowwhat to do Share, like, comment,
help us keep spreading all thisfabulous content and, of course
(48:35):
, follow Eileen and get in touchwith her if you need to, and
that way you can keep up withwhat she's doing.
And, as I always say, in orderto live the extraordinary, you
must start, and every startbegins with a decision.
You guys, take care, be safe,be kind to one another and we
(48:56):
will see you next time.
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