In this episode of Starter Girlz, Andrea McGinty—known as the Godmother of Modern Dating—shares how she turned personal heartbreak into a global matchmaking empire. As the founder of It’s Just Lunch and 33,000 Dates, Andrea has facilitated over 33,000 dates and helped more than 10,000 people find lasting love.
This conversation is a deep dive into the evolving world of dating, especially for those navigating love in the second act of life. Whether you’re returning to the dating scene, feeling stuck with apps, or looking to build real connection, Andrea brings decades of wisdom, straight talk, and proven strategies.
What You’ll Learn:
✅ What makes a modern dating profile stand out
✅ Why dating apps often fail—and how to choose the right one
✅ How to avoid the biggest mistakes in online dating
✅ The role of confidence, chemistry, and communication
✅ Why “practice dates” are a secret to success
✅ How to approach dating after 40, 50, or after loss
Andrea’s insights are grounded in real-life results and thousands of successful love stories. This episode is both inspiring and practical—perfect for anyone serious about finding meaningful relationships.
🔗 Learn more about Andrea:
www.33000dates.com
🎧 Love this episode?
Subscribe to Starter Girlz for more stories, strategies, and inspiration to thrive in all areas of life.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Andrea McGinty (00:00):
I can read and read in like 20 seconds.
If somebody used AI, you knowthey used, they use GROK or they
use CLOD or whatever they useto write their profile, because
they use these some weird wordsthat we don't use.
Yeah, they use some weird wordsthat we don't use in everyday
conversation or they toss theirphotos, you know, into chat GPT.
(00:23):
Here's my photos and I'm likeyou look like a cartoon.
Jennifer Loehding (00:26):
No, we're not using those.
Andrea McGinty (00:29):
So don't do that stuff.
Jennifer Loehding (00:33):
Welcome to the starter girls podcast, your
ultimate source of inspirationand empowerment.
We're here to help womensucceed in every area of their
lives career, money,relationships, and health and
well-being While celebrating theremarkable journeys of
individuals from all walks oflife who've achieved amazing
things.
Whether you're looking tosupercharge your career, build
(00:55):
financial independence, nurturemeaningful relationships or
enhance your overall well-being,the Starter Girlz podcast is
here to guide you.
Join us as we explore thejourneys of those who dare to
dream big and achieve greatness.
I'm your host, jennifer Loading, and welcome to this episode.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Starter Girlz Podcast.
(01:19):
I am your host, jenniferLoehding, and wherever you are
tuning in today, we are sothrilled to have you.
And so here we are.
Another episode, another day,so excited about my guest today,
so I'm going to ask you thiswhat do you do when life doesn't
go as planned?
Like, perhaps, getting left atthe altar or maybe navigating
love after 50.
(01:40):
For my guest today, it meantturning heartbreak into a global
matchmaking empire and becomingwhat she says she's often
referred to as the godmother ofmodern dating, and so this is
going to be so much fun.
I am so excited we get to talkabout something a little
different today.
But before I bring her on, I doneed to do a quick shout out to
(02:01):
our sponsor.
This episode is brought to youby Walt Mills Productions.
Need to add excitement to yourYouTube videos or some expert
hands for editing?
Look no further.
Walt Mills is the solutionyou've been searching for.
Walt is not only your go-to guyfor spicing up content.
He's the force behind athriving film production company
with numerous titles in thepipeline.
(02:21):
Always on the lookout for rawtalent, walt is eager to
collaborate on film and internetproductions.
With a background deeply rootedin entertainment and promotion,
walt Mills leverages years ofskills to give you the spotlight
you deserve.
Want to learn more about Waltand his work?
Head on over towaltmillsproductionsnet and let
your content shine All right.
(02:42):
And with that we do want to makea mention to head on over to
startergirlscom and you hear mesay this every single week.
And why do we want to do that?
Because one if you have missedany of our amazing episodes, you
can catch up on all of them,even the old, cheesy ones.
From the beginning.
They're there.
If you want to be in the know,maybe sign up for our community
newsletter to find out what'sgoing on who's coming up all of
(03:05):
that good stuff.
You can do that there as well,and also, if you are an aspiring
entrepreneur or maybe you arein a position of leadership and
you want to know what yournumber one success block is that
may be impacting your success,we have a fun two-minute quiz
over there that you can take,and it'll give you some
direction as to what might behindering that success you're
(03:26):
trying to achieve right now.
So, again, head on over tostartergirlz.
com and do what you need to doover there.
Take care of business.
All right, let's get our gueston today.
So today, on Starter Girlz, weare sitting down with Andrea
McGinty, founder of it's JustLunch and the powerhouse behind
33,000 Dates.
Known as the godmother ofmodern dating, andrea
(03:47):
transformed her own personalsetbacks into a legacy that's
helped thousands find love,especially in the second act of
life.
From matchmaking over 33,000couples to mentoring today's top
dating experts, andrea'snonsense approach and
trailblazing strategies continueto shape the modern dating
world.
So get ready I'm so excited fora candid and inspiring
(04:09):
conversation with the woman whohas truly redefined how we find
connection.
So, andrea, welcome to StarterGirlz.
I am so excited to have youhere today.
Andrea McGinty (04:19):
Thanks, I'm excited to be here too, and that
was quite an intro.
Thank you, isn't that?
Jennifer Loehding (04:24):
fun.
I know every time I do, though.
So just to give you, I say thisalmost I feel like I just say
this, like every time I do thisbut I spent 22 years in Mary Kay
and a good portion of that Iwas in leadership, and so we got
very familiar with doingaccolades, getting them for our
stuff, but also reading them.
And you know, I have foundsomething so fun and powerful
(04:45):
about when we hear stuff likethat.
It's so fun because I thinksometimes we forget all the cool
things that we do, right, andthen when somebody kind of says
it, it's like, oh my gosh, did Ido all that?
You know, it's kind of a funthing and I enjoy putting them
together.
So I'm glad you liked it Allright.
So I am excited to chat withyou.
(05:06):
I really like this idea of youknow, this authenticity, and I
just I can already feel yourenergy.
So I think we're going to havea fun time here, because I
really love it when people arejust kind of call it like it is,
you know.
And so what I want to do, Iwant to open this up and talk a
little bit about who Andrea islike, what you're doing right
now, what is this all about?
This dating and these 33,000dates, all of this stuff?
Andrea McGinty (05:28):
Well, the name of my company is 33,000 dates.
The name of my prior companyfrom the nineties was it's just
lunch and over the course ofthen till now I've set up over
33,000 people, so hence I named.
So you know, really I've set upprobably 38,000, but I can't
(05:50):
yeah probably more than I do.
It won't work.
So, yeah, that's how I came upwith the name and I've had over
10,000 marriages and it allstarted, you know, in the 90s
and you have to remember the 90s.
Well, first of all, I shouldsay I'm a business person and
accounting finance blah, blah,blah.
(06:11):
But what happened to me was Igot basically dumped at the
altar two days before my wedding, which launched me into coming
up with this idea.
For, for it's just lunch, butyou have to remember back then,
like all you guys out there whoare using, you know, online apps
(06:33):
and sites and services andmatchmakers, whatever you're
doing, there was none of that.
Jennifer Loehding (06:40):
Right yeah.
Andrea McGinty (06:41):
Nineties there was no Google.
I mean, when I tell my kidsthey're like no Google, like
what did you do all day?
Yeah, they're like, how did youget around?
Yeah, how did you get around?
There's no Google, there wereno dating apps, there was like
nothing, right.
So all of a sudden, I wasliving in Chicago at the time.
(07:22):
So after my friends, you know,after I came out of the whole
probably a month long, you knowpity party for myself and, you
know, got myself out of thetrenches, you know friends would
fix me up on dates and I'd goon dates and I'd be like,
because, you know, their pool ofpeople is one person.
And so one day this executiverecruiter called me and you know
again, I'm like 23, 24.
And she was calling me about,you know, some career
opportunities and I'm like, geez, I wish she was calling me
about three men that she had forme instead of three times men
(07:46):
that she had for me instead ofthree times, thinking that the
whole time.
And then I'm thinking, wait,this is a great idea.
I don't even remember what shesaid to me after that because I
started jotting down, you know,a business plan.
I thought, wow, wouldn't it begreat if there was a service
that acted like an executiverecruiter, that chose people for
you, that chose people for youand then told you where.
(08:10):
You went out for lunch or youwent out for a drink after work,
hence the name.
It's just lunch and you knew alot about them before you went
out, but you didn't know theirlast name.
You didn't have their photo,because even then, if you had
their photo or their last name,there was nothing to Google.
Good luck with that.
(08:31):
And it took off like crazy.
So first location was Chicago,then New York and Dallas one of
my favorite markets favoritemarkets and fast forward 15
years.
We have 110 locations worldwide.
And again, now it's big, it'sreally big.
(08:53):
And, of course, in the interim,what's happened?
Online dating started.
Google started, everything isshifting, but online dating is
still a mess, it's an infancy,it's chaotic, it's crazy and
there's still a lot of scamsgoing on and people asking for
(09:14):
money, which happens very rarelynow.
I mean, people like to talkabout that, but it really
doesn't happen on the top-notchapps or sites anymore.
So, within the course of a week, I got two offers for the
company One was fromDallas-based Matchcom and one
(09:34):
was from a private equity groupand I thought to myself this is
a good time to sell.
I see the writing on the wallit's just lunch office maybe had
a pool of 500, 700 people tochoose from.
If I was working on the internet, if I was working on sites, you
know kind of the world's myoyster, I've got tons of people
(09:56):
to pick from.
So I sold, I sold at theprivate equity firm, and then I
took two years off and just likekind of traveled all over the
world with my kids and draggedthem around to hey, we're going
to live in Morocco for a while.
Hey, we're going to live inThailand for a while.
And then I'm like, hey, I'm nota stay-at-home mom, I've got to
(10:20):
direct my energy.
So what happened to me was whatreally got me into 33,000 dates
was my brother.
So, I've got Irish Catholicfamily, a ton of siblings I'm
the oldest, six younger brothersand sisters my brother at that
point he's a CFO, he's goodlooking, he had just gotten
(10:41):
divorced and he's online andhe's like I'm meeting the most
awful, awful women.
They're not attractive, youknow, they're this, they're that
.
And uh, the next thing, I know,you know I'm like Jim, give me,
give me your uh credentials soI can log in.
And you know, take a look.
And I'm thinking to myselfhere's this intelligent guy and
(11:03):
the photos he posted.
Hey, guys out there, if you'reposting these kind of pictures,
we don't like them.
Jennifer Loehding (11:11):
Stop it.
Andrea McGinty (11:11):
Stop it.
Post good pictures.
No, like no shirt pictures,while you're yeah, none of that.
Yeah, none of that.
We don't want to see your car.
We don't want to see a photo ofyou taken in your mirror If you
think that's artistic.
We don't want to see your car.
We don't want to see a photo ofyou taken in your mirror If you
think that's artistic, we don't.
Or with a big fish, I'm likewhat the heck?
(11:32):
So anyway, I rewrite hisprofile, I fix his pictures and
a couple of weeks later hecalled me and goes hey, andrea,
getting good dates now and I'mlike say thank you to your older
sister.
And that's how it started.
And it started just referral.
Because here we are now.
You know, in the 2010s, onlinedating somewhat knows what it's
(11:56):
doing and there's some top notchcompanies out there.
But then what I start findingis people are either fearful of
it or they don't know what to do.
They don't know how to navigateit.
So here I come with 33,000dates.
Jennifer Loehding (12:13):
I love it.
Oh my gosh, I have so much tosay about this.
There's so much, it's soawesome.
I like, wow, like what a story.
Okay, talk about those datingapps.
I remember being in the 90etiescause I was in my twenties and I
remember those phone things.
You would dial a number and youcould leave a voicemail yeah,
somebody would call you, but youcouldn't see the person.
So you basically, if you wenton a date, it was a complete
(12:36):
blind date because you had notseen this person before.
And you like, can you imaginenow today, Like it's's so weird,
how things were back then?
Right, there was no, none ofthis dating stuff.
And I've seen these apps.
Now I can't imagine, like I'mnot in that position, but I
can't imagine I have kids and myyoungest will go through them
things and like they're likeswipe, and he'll come in and be
(12:56):
strong, like nope, that's a nope, nope, girl, nope.
I cannot even imagine having togo through that.
So I love this story.
I think it is so good and it'scrazy because I had another guy
on my show a while back that wasa dating coach more of a dating
coach for women and he kind ofwent through this whole story.
We went through this divorceand then his son passed away and
(13:23):
he was just giving advice outbut then started realizing that
women were kind of reaching outto him to find out, like, how to
date men, and so now that'skind of what he does and he's
got this huge following and it'sin a different kind of way, but
he does YouTube videos and hetalks about you know, how to
help, like how to understand men, basically, you know, in this
coaching space.
So I think this is great and Ithink to your point about how
(13:48):
the scared these dating apps are.
I did have a lady on my showthat was a top, I think.
She worked for the governmentand she actually had gone
through, I believe, one of thoseand started dating a supposed
guy and ended up gettingextorted for a lot of money.
She's been on several TV showsit is this post gone way past
now but she actually now helpspeople, talks on how to
(14:11):
recognize that kind of stuff,that scamming and stuff.
So I love what you're doing, Ithink it's awesome, I love the
story, I think it's great andwhat a just a way to take your
thing and find a need and how tolike capitalize on that right,
right, really, how to just buildon that and grow an empire from
it.
So kudos to you.
Andrea McGinty (14:30):
Thank you.
You know, I always think I havea really fun job because I meet
people from all walks of life.
It's not like I'm an attorneyand I'm working with other
attorneys all day.
I'm a banker, I'm you know, I'mwall street Right.
It's really, really interestingto hear people's stories, and
especially now.
You know, when I was doing it'sJust Lunch, I was working
(14:51):
mostly with 20s and 30s.
Now I'm working with my agegroup you know like the 40s and
50s primarily, and that's whatmy book is geared toward too.
But now those people, theydidn't grow up in the tech world
like our kids have you know, noproblem.
You know that privacy.
I gave that up years ago, mom.
(15:12):
You know who cares about that.
So so I get people a couple ofthings.
They're they're coming out ofdivorces and self-confidence.
They might have self-confidencein their career and everything
else they do, but with datingthey're like, oh my God, how do
I, how do I, how do I even dothis?
(15:32):
And then they've heard horrorstories.
Or they talk to single friendsthat tell them stories you know
of.
You know those friends aresingle for a reason.
By the way, you guys they'redoing something wrong out there.
Or you guys they're they'redoing something wrong out there,
or you know they're just afraidto put their picture up there.
Jennifer Loehding (15:48):
You know they're like.
Andrea McGinty (15:49):
Hey, you know um , I'm the chief marketing
officer.
What if other people in mycompany see me?
I'm like, well, they're onthere too.
You know so there's three oneson there.
So and then?
And then they don't know whatto do with it.
You know once, okay, so oncethey get over it, oh, wait back
up, Andrea, how do you pick theright site, because there's 1400
(16:13):
platforms out there?
I just recently took on a newclient last week and when I
asked her I do a 15 minutescreening call before I take a
client, just to make sure I canhelp and and I asked her what
are you doing?
And she goes oh, I'm on thisapp.
(16:34):
It's awful, it's called coffeemeets bagel.
And I'm thinking to myself whydid she pick that app?
Jennifer Loehding (16:40):
And so.
Andrea McGinty (16:40):
I asked her the question and she goes oh, my
best friend's in New York andshe's using it and that's how
she met her boyfriend.
I'm like, oh, ok, now it makessense, because coffee meets
bagel is really, really strongin New York, la, miami.
That's what I'd be thinking.
Yeah, that's it.
So you picked the wrongplatform.
You're on there for a week andyou quit and you're like this is
(17:04):
awful.
You know you used to big blow toyour ego you know going on
something like that wherethere's nobody out there, and
then once they do go on, youknow it's, they need help, they
need help.
I mean, it's just like youdon't go out on a pickleball
court without first taking aclinic.
(17:24):
You don't go play golf withoutyou know, having a couple of
instructions from a couple oflessons from a pro, and it's
kind of like they just go intothis like jungle and they don't
know what they're doing and so,ok, let's pretend they pick the
right app.
Ok, that's like one out offourteen hundred chance.
Ok, let's pretend they pickedthe right app.
(17:45):
Okay, that's like one out of1400 chance.
Okay, let's pretend they did.
Then you should read theseprofiles.
Okay, profiles, okay.
So here's what happened to women.
Women tend to write like littlenovels and men could care less.
Men, you guys.
You guys tend to write hardlyanything.
(18:05):
We know like pretty muchnothing about you.
So the what you need to do isthe in-between thing, you know,
maybe two paragraphs, threeparagraphs with bullet points.
If you're on a bumble or ahinge or something like that,
thank God, they limit you to youknow, 250 or 300 characters.
The next thing is photos.
(18:26):
Photos are the make or break it.
It's a visual medium and menlook at photos.
Women look at photos just asmuch as men.
So we go, everybody goes, firstfor the photos.
We look at the photos of thisperson, do we find them
attractive?
And all you see at first, ofcourse, is a little thumbnail
(18:51):
and you open it up and you seesome more photos, and so you've
got to have good photos.
So when people come to me andare working with me, I have them
send their photos over and Iwould say 80%.
I refer out to a service thatall they do is take professional
shots of people for datingsites.
That's all this company isabout and it's brilliant because
(19:12):
it's not like, they're not likeLinkedIn photos, they're, you
know, like really corporate andthey're not like oh, a swirly
wall behind you, like you're ina studio.
I mean, they're going to comeout for a couple hours and it's
not expensive, it's a couplehundred bucks and you're going
to get a lot of photos.
So we get a photo of you, youknow, with a golf club or skis,
(19:32):
or you know what you'reinterested in.
You know in a canoe, whateveryour thing is, reading, your
dogs, your whatever.
And now we've got, you know,good lighting, good, and I'm not
saying like, edit your photos.
Then the other thing going onright now is the whole advent of
AI, which personally I like,but you have to use it the right
(19:56):
way, and I can read in like 20seconds if somebody used AI.
You know they used Grok or theyused Claude or whatever they
used to write their profile.
Because they use some weirdwords that we don't use.
Yeah, they use some weird wordsthat we don't know.
Yeah, they use some weird wordsthat we don't use in everyday
conversation, yeah.
(20:17):
Or they toss their photos, youknow, into chat, gpt, and you
want your photos come back, likethis one woman.
She's really pretty, I don'teven know what she put in there
One of my clients and she sentit back to me.
Jennifer Loehding (20:30):
Here's my photos and I'm like and she sent
it back to me.
Andrea McGinty (20:34):
Here's my photos , and I'm like you, look like a
cartoon no, yeah, we're notusing those, you know, so don't
do that stuff.
You know if you're.
If you're going to use ai foryour profile, okay, write your
profile first and then look atai as if it's an editor, a
friend you know in real life.
Put it in and you'll get acouple of lines back that might
(20:56):
improve some of your stuff andthen you can use that.
Yeah, but don't write the wholething, yeah.
Jennifer Loehding (21:05):
Shall I go on with problems, I can do that in
a minute, but I want to add towhat you're saying, because I
think what you just said eventhough it's different than, like
, our LinkedIn profiles and allof those, are important points.
You know what I mean Havinggood photos, not using AI to
write everything, using it as aneditor, I mean, I think it just
comes down to the like, theprofessionalism of it.
Right, because the other guythat I just mentioned to you,
(21:27):
the other dating coach guy wetalked about this same thing
about pictures and stuff he saidtalked about having good
pictures because people do, theyput it and they do it in
business platforms too.
They do that stuff and thenthey wonder why they're not
looking professional or whatnot.
You know you want to beauthentic, you want it to be you
right, like you want.
You don't want to be likewearing something that you would
(21:48):
probably not be normally seendoing, or or you know, or like
I'm probably not going to showup at the golf course because I
don't play golf, but you mightsee me walking a dog and I might
do a pit, you know, like thatmight be something normal, you
know.
So I agree with all of that.
I just want to point that outbecause I think it's so
important and it's so funny thatwe're talking about this,
because I always talk about likenetworking, because I'm a
(22:12):
connector in a like.
I feel like you and I have someparallels, cause I've had
people tell me like you couldhave been a good like dating
coach, because I connect inbusiness and that's what I do is
I find people and I'm like Ihave no idea.
Sometimes when I meet somebody,I'll be like I have no idea
exactly why I need to connectthe person.
Like sometimes I'll just meetsomebody and I'll be like I need
to introduce you to somebodybecause there's something there.
(22:33):
I don't know if that's going tobe a business relationship in
the sense that you actually dosomething or y'all synergize and
they introduce you to somebody,but I need to connect those
people together.
So I think there there'ssomething you know really
powerful about the ability to dothat and, um, I think it's a
gift, I think I think it's acool thing to be able to do that
.
Andrea McGinty (22:59):
I'm here too.
I feel like I've been doingthis forever, even with an
accounting and financebackground.
I introduced one of my highschool friends they're still
married Two of my college suitemates they're still married to
who I introduced them to.
So I just have this thing.
It actually drives my kidscrazy because we'll be out and
maybe we're at the movies andI'll be like those two just
don't go together.
I do the same thing.
(23:19):
I'm like they know, and youknow, my youngest daughter
should be like mom, you'reembarrassing, we're going to go
sit somewhere else.
Jennifer Loehding (23:26):
Yeah, I did the same thing.
I will meet somebody sometimesthat I'm like they.
Just that doesn't I.
I, I had a good friend nokidding, I had this this guy
friend that my husband and I metout.
We were out together one nightand we met this guy friend and
he was from New York.
I, I, I got along with him verywell because he was dry until
(23:47):
the point and I'm kind of thatway.
So it worked well and we becamefriends.
And then we decided that wewere going to have like a dual
date where we wanted to meet hiswife and the wife shows up and
we and I want to say they'regreat people.
We became good friends withboth of them, but the wife
showed up and theirpersonalities were completely
different, which that's okay anda lot of times that works out.
But it was they.
They're not together anymore.
(24:09):
I, the first time I met them,the very first time I met them,
I was like I was like taken backCause.
I was like I don't get this,this I don't under, I don't
understand.
It wasn't even necessarilyabout looks.
I don't know what exactly allit was, but they ended up
getting divorced and I and I wasnot surprised when it happened
at all.
(24:29):
But it was the craziest thing,cause I remember that telling my
husband I'm like I don't knowhow they got to, I'm confused,
how did they end up together?
It was the funniest thing CauseI just, you just know,
sometimes, like you, you seesomebody or you meet them and
you just listen to them andyou're like how did that happen?
Like, how did that cometogether?
You know Right.
Andrea McGinty (24:48):
So I totally agree with you.
I mean, an extrovert doesn'tnecessarily need another
extrovert to be fine with anintrovert, you know.
I mean the things that reallymatter.
I really think there's threethings that matter, and it's
good communication, it's commonvalues, it's chemistry I agree,
(25:29):
and that chemistry thing.
I can't even begin to tell youabout chemistry because
chemistry okay, we're not 18where we go out on a date and
our hormones are like whoa, Ican't wait for, you know, x, y,
z to happen.
You know let's get intimate,you know it's not like that
anymore.
So we're a little bit older, inour 40s or 50s, whatever, if
chemistry doesn't happen withinthe first three dates.
It's never going to happen, ever, ever, ever.
And I get to know oh, I getsome clients to get stuck.
But Andrea, on paper he'sperfect.
For me, he's perfect.
(25:50):
He's from New York, he's got aninvestment banking background,
so do I?
This works my friends like um,but I'm not attracted to him.
I go it's not going to work,it's not going to work.
And then they wait six monthsand then they come back to me
and go you're right, it didn'twork, it didn't work.
Jennifer Loehding (26:08):
So you've got to have those you've got to
have those three.
Andrea McGinty (26:11):
you've got to have those three things, yeah,
yeah.
Everything else can fall intoplace different interests, you
know who cares.
You're going to learn some newthings.
Jennifer Loehding (26:21):
Thanks for pointing that out because I know
I think that is so true becauseI, you know, I have talks with
people and I don't even dorelationship, that's not a thing
but it comes up in conversationwith my girlfriends, that kind
of thing, and you know we talkabout that, the communications,
important values.
Funny story that other guy I'vebeen keep talking about that
came on the show.
He was telling this story abouthow he started dating this
woman and they got the moneyconversation out like in the
(26:44):
beginning, because he said I'mnot going to go down the road
and we've invested all this timeand then you've got to talk
values, like we had thatconversation in the beginning,
so we've already ironed that outand had that.
You know, wait, we know whereour values are.
And it made me laugh because Ithought that is so funny because
, especially if you're like in asituation like where I am,
where we've been married for along time, we were in our mid
(27:06):
twenties when we got married.
We were young, we didn't knowanything like values.
What's that about?
Like we're just.
You know, babies haven't getmarried and having babies, right
.
Well, as you get older, right,your priorities are different.
A lot of your core values arestill there, right, but we, we
talk about this.
I'm like you know, that is onevalue we did not have a
conversation about before we gotmarried.
(27:26):
We should have had aconversation about that one, you
know, because they do, theyfollow you and and if they're
not similar, they are issues andthey and the longer you're
together, the more they come upand you're kind of starting to
combat them.
You know what I mean, and so Ithink all those three things you
talked about, yes, yeah, Huge.
(27:46):
If I had it like, if I wasstarting all over, I'd be like
I'm calling you up, Help me withthe pro, help me with all this
stuff, cause I'm it like if Iwas starting all over, I'd be
like I'm calling you up, help mewith the pro, help me with all
the stuff, because I'm serious,like that.
I don't even, I wouldn't evenbe wanting to be like thinking
about all that I've got.
One of my good friends now isshe's been a widow for a couple
of years and she's in herfifties as well and she's like
(28:13):
I'm not opposed to dating, I'mjust not actively out looking.
And so we were joking aboutchecklists and we're like, oh my
gosh, can you imagine Like, ifnow they would, I don't have
this like checklist.
It'd be so awful.
I don't even know if we'd bepassing, cause I'd be like they
have to be like groundedcommunicator, you know, like all
these things Right, and I'mlike, oh my gosh, this would be
awful, I don't want to do it.
Andrea McGinty (28:35):
Yeah, yeah, you know, you know it's.
People are kind of shocked whenyou say something like that.
Yeah, people are, especiallythat people are widowed in their
fifties.
It happens, it does, it happensand you know it's.
That's just like another animaland people who have been in
(28:56):
happy marriages that are widowed, they tend to make really good
second marriages you know, intheir second act because they're
expecting something good,because they had something good
before it.
You know, yeah, but you got towork through.
you got to work through theprocess you know, there's an
entire process, and that that'sa whole different, a whole
(29:18):
different thing.
Jennifer Loehding (29:19):
Yeah.
Andrea McGinty (29:20):
You want to talk about another problem?
Jennifer Loehding (29:22):
Yeah, tell me , tell us another problem, yeah.
Andrea McGinty (29:25):
Let me, okay, let me tell you what happens.
This is, this is the other bigproblem with online dating.
So, you know, I get everybodyready, right?
You know, write their profile,get their photos up, put them on
the right site, load everythingup.
It's looking beautiful.
And then we have weeklycoaching calls.
I'm like how's it going?
Nobody's okay.
(29:46):
One or two things.
Nobody's messaged me.
And I go okay, how many menhave you messaged?
None.
I go what are you doing?
They're sitting there andthey'll tell me these are women
in their fifties and, by the way, guys, women, this is not the
1950s, you know, we are likeit's 2020s.
So I'm like no, no, no, no,we're all equal.
(30:08):
We reach out, you know, wereach out to men with
interesting, unique messages.
We don't, we don't just sitthere waiting for them to come
and they'll be like.
Jennifer Loehding (30:24):
well, I think I should be pursued and I'm
like well, it's a 50, 50, 50deal here.
Andrea McGinty (30:29):
And you know what drives men crazy?
When women and my male clientshalf my clients are male.
What drives them crazy is whenthey get a message from a woman
and this is the total messageit's a heart, it's a like, it's
a wig and that's it, nothingelse.
So they just kick the ballright back to the sky, like okay
, now I have to think upsomething witty and amusing to
(30:51):
say to this woman.
To the wife All men think when awoman reaches out is hey, she's
got self-confidence, andself-confidence is sexy.
It really is.
So you've got to be reachingout and it can't be these
(31:12):
insipid messages that are likehey, how's your Friday?
Hey, what are you doing for the4th of July?
It's generic and you start tothink that's a cut and paste you
know they're sending it toevery woman out there or they're
sending it to every man outthere.
So you've got to.
You've got to, you know, gothrough their profile or go
(31:32):
through you know what they'veposted on Bumble or Hinge or
whatever, and comment onsomething interesting and then
follow up with a question Short,sweet, nowhere than three
sentences, and hopefully they'regoing to respond, and then go
into this knowing that here'sthe odds.
Let's talk Vegas odds makerhere.
(31:52):
One in five messages gets areply.
So you can't go on and say, youknow, spend a half an hour and
send two messages and think I'vedone my work on this.
And so part of the process ofme coaching people, the first
couple of times I'm on the hourlong coaching call, I'm on the
(32:14):
platform with them, I'm onBumble with them and I'm like,
okay, we found this guy, helooks good, he's, you know,
checking our boxes.
I'm going to write the messageand so I'll read it out loud to
you before I send it.
And I read out loud the messageand the client's like we're
going to send that and I'm like,yeah, it's quirky.
(32:34):
It's not that it's weird, itmeans it's unique.
And you'll get a response backand all that does is push you up
in the algorithms and thensuddenly Bumble is starting to
show you better and better men.
So you know you've got to beinteresting with these messages.
And the other thing is youshould never have it feel and
(32:58):
this is a complaint I get frompeople online dating is awful.
I, you know, it's like myfull-time and I'm like what are
you doing?
And they're getting out andthey're scrolling and they're
seeing some good women andthey're like, oh, I'll save her
for later, let's see if there'ssomething better.
I'll save her for later, maybe.
(33:19):
No, you've got to do somethingwith these people because you
don't want them constantlycoming through your feed.
So I tell my clients there'sonly two things you can do with
somebody you're looking at.
You either block them anddelete them, or you send them a
message.
Doesn't mean you have to go ona date with them, but you're
information gathering.
So and I give it a score of oneto a hundred, anything.
(33:42):
When I'm on the phone with aclient, I'm like, okay, what is
he?
She'll go a 60.
Okay, anything over 50 getsgets a message.
Yeah, anything below a 50,delete.
We're we're not even, you know,wasting time and they want to
talk about it and I'm like, no,we're not going to talk about
this.
Yeah, no, we're done.
Yeah, yeah, he's not a goodmatch for you.
(34:03):
She's not a good match for you.
Let's move on to the next one,because, look, there's hundreds
of them.
And yeah, let's get going withthis and then stop the texting
after three or four times andlet's get to the date and let's
say the next message you shootout, whether a woman or a man
(34:24):
hey, I'm totally interested.
I think we're going to have funtogether.
How about we meet Thursdayafter work at 6 or Friday
afternoon at 4 for a drink atBistro 110?
Does one of those work for you?
So we're being specific.
We're not saying let's gettogether sometime Sometimes,
sometimes, sometimes, right,right, it's never going to
(34:47):
happen.
Jennifer Loehding (34:48):
Yeah, oh my gosh, there's so much.
Okay, look, I love that you'vegot this all planned, because I
think it's so great.
And you and like at the end,when you this is so funny, you
said that give them the optionthings, like you give them
there's.
There's like all psychologybehind all of that.
You know, like you give themthe two times because they have
to pick something.
They can't be thinking like yousay what time do you?
We did this in sales when I wasat Mary Kay.
I would talk about this.
(35:08):
This is how I got people toevents, because I wouldn't just
say, do you want to come onTuesday night to my event?
Because then they could say no.
I would be like, hey, I've gottwo events.
All that that's a lot to comeup with, right.
But now you give them to.
(35:29):
There's so much psychologybehind this.
But I'm going to say I justlove that you have this like
formula, like you've got allthis, like and so if you give
them guidance and a direction,like it's almost like closet
organizing or something.
(35:50):
When you come in, you know,when you're doing it yourself,
you're looking at everything andgoing, oh, this has value, this
has value.
I can't throw this away becausemom gave me this, dad gave me
this, sister.
You're going through all this,all this emotional warfare,
right, but if you have somebody,come in and they guide you and
just say this is the system,this is how we're going to
navigate this landscape.
So we're going to look at thisdating app and we're going to go
(36:12):
okay, we're looking at thesepeople and if we think they're
over a 50, then move them overhere, message them a couple of
times, move on to the dateYou're going to find out.
We're not going to keep doingall this playing around and
waging war in our heads becausewe overthink everything right
and overcomplicate.
Andrea McGinty (36:28):
Exactly exactly.
And you know what.
I approach this verystrategically.
I'm a business person first,but you know, yeah, okay, in the
dating sector, I'm good at that, but I'm a business person and
I look at things strategically.
And my book that came out inJanuary has 15 worksheets in it
and let's talk about the lastone for a minute.
(36:49):
It has QR codes that go witheach one that I walk you through
, like what you should bethinking about the last one.
I get pushed back on this onefrom clients or people who just
buy the book and email me andthey're like do I really have to
do this?
So what it is, it's a personalbusiness plan for your love life
, for your dating life.
(37:09):
And they're like Andrea, that'sso unromantic.
I go no, no, no, no, it'sstrategic.
We have to think about what areyou willing to do?
How long are you willing togive this?
What's it going to take?
Who's your competition?
Are you going to stay?
Are you going to stay living inDallas?
(37:31):
Are you thinking of moving?
Yeah, we asked a lot ofdifferent questions and then
they're prepared when they gointo this, you know, with the
things that they're looking forExactly, and the timeframe too.
Instead of like, oh, I went ononline dating and I quit after a
week, I'm like, no, here's howonline dating works.
Three months, three months,you're going to give it because
(37:52):
that's how long it generallytakes.
I mean, yeah, some people do ita month, you know, and meet the
one, but three months isgenerally what it takes to get
to that person and you've got togive it time and you've got to
be strategic in how you'rethinking about this, just like,
how'd you get ahead in yourcareer?
(38:13):
How'd you get ahead in you know?
How'd you become a bettertennis player, a better golfer?
Jennifer Loehding (38:18):
It's a plan.
Andrea McGinty (38:19):
Yeah, you had a plan.
You worked on it, yeah.
Jennifer Loehding (38:22):
No, I'm listening to this and I'm
hearing total, like I mean, Ithink it's great.
I think somebody out thereright now, if you are in a
position where you need you're,you're navigating this landscape
.
I think what you're doing hereis amazing, because I do.
I think so often, and let'smove out, not even talking about
dating, but anything that wewant to accomplish.
This is how you know, we eithernavigate it from the place of I
(38:42):
don't want to make a plan andI'm just going to roll in that,
or we have a plan, and if wewant to get something done, we
need to have a plan, you know,and so I get it, and I'm also,
by the way, an accountingbackground.
so I totally get it.
I totally get it.
I try to approach.
I mean, I want to say there aresome things in my life that I'm
not trying to reach a goal onright now that I just do like
(39:02):
you know, like I.
I joke about exercising, youknow, like that I just do it
every day, cause I've just doneit for so long, and I do it in
my training.
For anything right now, no, butI have also been a former
marathon runner and when I wasrunning marathons I was training
to run marathons I had a plan,you know.
And so I think, everything wedo, there were times in our
lives when we don't there ourtimes and we need them.
(39:23):
But right now, if you're inthat dating landscape and that's
important to you, it might be agood idea to have a plan of
action.
You know?
Yeah, just like what?
Andrea McGinty (39:35):
you said about the marathon.
You know I mean you weretraining for the marathon.
You know you didn't go out andrun 26 miles at first.
You know maybe you had arunning buddy or you know you
were doing a couple of miles andincreasing it or whatever.
It's the same thing with datingPractice and I always tell
people, especially people whohave come out of long marriages
or they're widowed, or longrelationships, the first three
(39:56):
or four dates are nothing to meexcept practice dates.
They're only practice, becauseI want you to get your
self-confidence and you know,wow, I'm still interesting, I
still have things to talk about.
You know, I haven't.
I haven't missed that much.
I'm still really interestingand that that makes you feel so
(40:19):
good.
And even if that person's notfor you, who cares?
And sometimes that's even whatI say.
You know they're 50, 50,.
I'm going on a date and it'searly, it's the beginning.
I'm like, hey, you were marriedfor 25 years.
Just go on a date with him.
Yeah, he's a may not be the manof your dreams, but you know
he's not awful either.
(40:39):
And get, get some practice.
Jennifer Loehding (40:42):
you know, yeah, I know, and I think that's
what life is about.
It's about, I think sometimeswe we have, you know we do
things because we don't.
You know we we stay away fromthings because we don't see that
immediate gain.
But I always think everything'sa learning experience anyways
and, like you said, you're goingto get some practice.
You're going to be better atthe next date If you go on one,
and even if it is a flop or abust, you're going to learn
(41:03):
something from it what not to do, maybe at the next one, or what
to do differently or, you knowwhatever.
So I think all things areexperiences that add to our tool
belt and help us, you know, bebetter at humans.
I want to ask you kind of apersonal question.
I think you, I think whatyou're doing is awesome and I
love your energy and I and Ireally love what you're bringing
to this, because I think thatyou're definitely vivacious,
(41:24):
you're passionate about this,and this is why I want to ask
you this question.
I want to know what you loveabout this.
What is this for you?
Because there's definitelysomething there for you.
Andrea McGinty (41:34):
Yeah, you know, I think I've got a little bit of
like a helper mentalitysomewhere inside me, like I like
to see people happy.
So I think this was a reallygood career choice for me and,
believe me, it wasn't somethingI planned out.
I did not plan this to be mycareer.
(41:55):
It kind of found me and it wasperfect for me because I could
relate to people you know thatcame in and they were having
trouble their 20s and 30s datingand then later on I was married
for 24 years and luckily had avery amicable divorce and that
(42:15):
was like six or seven years agoand it took me three more years
to go online and do and startdating because you know what I
mentally, I just wasn't ready.
Another thing that goes my firstworksheet my book, by the way
is where's your head at?
Because you've got to knowwhere, where your head's at um.
(42:36):
So what do I get out of this?
Um I I meet the mostinteresting people.
Um, I get to ask questions thatif you're in corporate America
you'd get fired if you ask thesequestions.
So I get very, you know, Ilearn very personal things about
people and I'm able to takethose things and use those
(43:00):
things and help them.
You know, on the pathway tofinding someone, and there is
nothing better than me, like ona Sunday morning, picking up my
work phone and seeing, like sometexts that you know are like
third date, andrea, it wentgreat.
Uh, we had a pajama party, youknow, like you know.
(43:21):
Or, or you know, oh, mybulletin board's right over
there, you know.
Or, or you know, oh, mybulletin board's right over
there.
And, um, okay, I'm looking atone one Christmas card I got and
it's like this six, you know itfolds out, it's like six panels
, whatever.
And she was one of my toughestclients.
I was like, oh, my gosh, whatam I going to do with her?
Um, and she's just tough asnails, nails, new York or Wall
(43:45):
Street, anyway.
But she also liked to sail andso when I was going through men
for another client, I saw thisguy that all I talked about was
sailing and I'm like, ooh, I'vegot to save this guy for her.
Anyway, the Christmas card, youknow.
So I lose track after you know,the package is over, that they
(44:08):
do with me.
But I knew she was dating him,the sailing guy.
And at Christmas time I getthis card and it says Andrea, we
got married.
Who knew, the same year I gotMedicaid, I would get married?
Jennifer Loehding (44:24):
Oh, my goodness.
Andrea McGinty (44:25):
Wow, and her name and I was like she's 65,
obviously, and you know it's asecond act for her and she's
thrilled.
So you know, I get.
I feel like I'm doing somethinggood too, you know I like it, I
have fun with it.
I like it, I have fun with it.
I have fun with these podcasts.
(44:47):
I want to help people you know,whether or not you know they
use me as a coach, or they buymy book, or they go on and take
my three minute dating quiz tojust on my website, just to see
how they stack up against otherpeople.
I feel like I'm helping youknow, I'm helping them, you know
, wrap their head around whatdating looks like in 2025.
(45:10):
Um, and okay, I got remarried.
Um, he was my sixth first datethat I met online and I met him
in two months and he's perfectfor me and he listens to my
stories.
You know, when we go out fordinner or for drinks, he's like
(45:31):
and he came from corporateAmerica.
He's like, oh my gosh, what youdo, you know and what people
say to you.
We just went and saw thatmatchmaker movie.
Um and he's like whispering tome that's your wife, that's what
I hear from your office Peoplesaying to you.
You know expectations andeverything, so I just think I
have a super fun job you do youdo and I can hear it in your
(45:53):
voice.
Jennifer Loehding (45:54):
I don't.
It's funny.
I used to ask this question alot and I don't always ask it,
but sometimes you know like I'man energy feeler, so I pick, I
pick up on people's energy and Ican tell when people are like
truly, I feel like I can tellwhen people are really
passionate about what they'redoing and they're you know like
they really like what they'redoing, and so that's what I
would say about these podcasts.
I never know how theseconversations are going to go.
(46:15):
I let them organically flow andthe questions I don't feel like
it always starts out the same,but how it navigates through
till we land the plane, I neverknow, because it's whatever
comes up in my heart or my headat the time I'm listening to
somebody.
So thank you for sharing that,because I think you know I've
had people come on.
We talk about being lightseekers and helpers of the world
, and I think when you get tofind your gift, whatever that is
(46:38):
, and you're passionate about it, I just think that's a really
cool thing.
And so I listened to you andyou were giving me chills, as I
was, because that's how I feelabout the work that I do and
that's why I do the podcast thatI do, because it's not just for
me about getting behind amicrophone.
I mean I talk all the time, Ihave no problem.
I do work workshops here.
I'm starting a new networkinggroup here.
I mean I do this stuff all thetime.
(46:58):
But it's really the messagethat I'm trying to send through
the podcast because of my ownpersonal journey, the things
I've had to go through, theillnesses I've had to overcome
and different things we'venavigated, and I feel like some
of us are chosen to share thosestories and to be those people
that can go out there and helpother people kind of find their
(47:21):
way, pave their way, and so what?
Andrea McGinty (47:22):
you're doing, I love it.
Jennifer Loehding (47:23):
I think it's great and for anybody listening
to this again, I'll say that'sin that place.
They need to go to your site,do all those things, check you
out, get your book.
Whatever they need to hire you,I don't know.
So, with all that, I want toknow where do we send them?
So if they do want to catch upwith you or find a book or take
that quiz that you're talkingabout, what's the website you
(47:44):
want to send them to?
Andrea McGinty (47:45):
Okay, go to my website, Go to 33,000dates and
it's 33000datescom, and there'sa couple things to do on there.
So one of them is I wouldabsolutely take the dating quiz
because it's going to show youhow you stack up against other
people who have been reallysuccessful with online dating
(48:06):
and have met somebody.
So it'll kind of give you moreinsight into you know how you're
doing in your mindset.
The second thing is my baby.
That came out.
My baby came out.
My book is really good too.
If you don't want to use mebecause it's really, I take you
through A through Z 166strategies.
(48:29):
There's no fluffy stuff inthere.
You know pretty direct Do this,do this, do this, don't do this
, don't do this.
So it's available everywhere.
Get it on Amazon, becausethat's where the best price is.
Jennifer Loehding (48:45):
Yeah it's on my website too, but get it on
Amazon.
Andrea McGinty (48:47):
Yeah, and then what else is there?
Oh, yeah, and then there'sanother thing on there where you
can click the link if you wantto do a 15 minute call with me
and see, you know, for a goodfit to work together.
And of course, I have a ton ofblogs and I've got a YouTube
channel, you know, just full ofme talking about.
(49:09):
You know, frequently askedquestions that I get all the
time Like am I too old?
To date?
That's the number one question.
Oh, my goodness, no, it'll belike a 53 year old.
Like no, no, you're right.
Jennifer Loehding (49:21):
No, no, I was too old.
I guess, if you decide you are,you are.
Andrea McGinty (49:25):
But no right, Right.
No, I'm too old, I guess.
If you decide you are, you are,but no Right, Right.
So you know.
Jennifer Loehding (49:32):
So I think there's good content on the, on
the website.
So that's where I'm going toconnect with you so we can stay
in touch.
I love what you're doing.
I think it's great and it's funand, um, I like your
personality, so I think thatmakes all the difference.
You know, you gotta have, yougotta have fun doing what you're
doing and you got to be funwith it.
You know, because nobody likesto be, you know, doing things
that are hard and dating doesn'thave to be, but it can be hard
(49:52):
if you're not doing it right.
So I think you're a greatresource for helping people
navigate that landscape andmaking it fun.
Make it not such that dreadedthing.
Oh gosh, I got to get back intothe dating world thing.
You know, like that's what Ihear from my single, my, my
divorce friends.
It's like, oh gosh, I don'twant to get back into that space
, you know.
So, hey, we're just going tosend them your direction, andrea
.
Andrea McGinty (50:13):
We're going to tell them all go that way, all
good.
Jennifer Loehding (50:16):
So thank you for sharing all this with us.
It's been great.
I've enjoyed chatting with youand, like this, is the first
time we've gotten to meet, andso it's been a pleasure to have
you on here and appreciate allthat you're doing to make the
world a better place.
Thank you, it's awesome.
All right, and to our audience,of course, we appreciate you
and want to say thanks fortuning in.
(50:37):
We hope you found this episodeboth inspiring and informative
and, of course, if you do, youknow what to do.
Go, do all the things likecomment, share so we can keep
sharing all of this fabulouscontent with you.
And, as I always say, in orderto live the extraordinary, you
must start, and every startbegins with a decision.
You guys, take care, be safe,be kind to one another and we
(51:04):
will see you next time.
Thank you.
I can read and read in like 20 seconds.
If somebody used AI, you knowthey used, they use GROK or they
use CLOD or whatever they useto write their profile, because
they use these some weird wordsthat we don't use.
Yeah, they use some weird wordsthat we don't use in everyday
conversation or they toss theirphotos, you know, into chat GPT.
(00:23):
Here's my photos and I'm likeyou look like a cartoon.
Jennifer Loehding (00:26):
No, we're not using those.
Andrea McGinty (00:29):
So don't do that stuff.
Jennifer Loehding (00:33):
Welcome to the starter girls podcast, your
ultimate source of inspirationand empowerment.
We're here to help womensucceed in every area of their
lives career, money,relationships, and health and
well-being While celebrating theremarkable journeys of
individuals from all walks oflife who've achieved amazing
things.
Whether you're looking tosupercharge your career, build
(00:55):
financial independence, nurturemeaningful relationships or
enhance your overall well-being,the Starter Girlz podcast is
here to guide you.
Join us as we explore thejourneys of those who dare to
dream big and achieve greatness.
I'm your host, jennifer Loading, and welcome to this episode.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Starter Girlz Podcast.
(01:19):
I am your host, jenniferLoehding, and wherever you are
tuning in today, we are sothrilled to have you.
And so here we are.
Another episode, another day,so excited about my guest today,
so I'm going to ask you thiswhat do you do when life doesn't
go as planned?
Like, perhaps, getting left atthe altar or maybe navigating
love after 50.
(01:40):
For my guest today, it meantturning heartbreak into a global
matchmaking empire and becomingwhat she says she's often
referred to as the godmother ofmodern dating, and so this is
going to be so much fun.
I am so excited we get to talkabout something a little
different today.
But before I bring her on, I doneed to do a quick shout out to
(02:01):
our sponsor.
This episode is brought to youby Walt Mills Productions.
Need to add excitement to yourYouTube videos or some expert
hands for editing?
Look no further.
Walt Mills is the solutionyou've been searching for.
Walt is not only your go-to guyfor spicing up content.
He's the force behind athriving film production company
with numerous titles in thepipeline.
(02:21):
Always on the lookout for rawtalent, walt is eager to
collaborate on film and internetproductions.
With a background deeply rootedin entertainment and promotion,
walt Mills leverages years ofskills to give you the spotlight
you deserve.
Want to learn more about Waltand his work?
Head on over towaltmillsproductionsnet and let
your content shine All right.
(02:42):
And with that we do want to makea mention to head on over to
startergirlscom and you hear mesay this every single week.
And why do we want to do that?
Because one if you have missedany of our amazing episodes, you
can catch up on all of them,even the old, cheesy ones.
From the beginning.
They're there.
If you want to be in the know,maybe sign up for our community
newsletter to find out what'sgoing on who's coming up all of
(03:05):
that good stuff.
You can do that there as well,and also, if you are an aspiring
entrepreneur or maybe you arein a position of leadership and
you want to know what yournumber one success block is that
may be impacting your success,we have a fun two-minute quiz
over there that you can take,and it'll give you some
direction as to what might behindering that success you're
(03:26):
trying to achieve right now.
So, again, head on over tostartergirlz.
com and do what you need to doover there.
Take care of business.
All right, let's get our gueston today.
So today, on Starter Girlz, weare sitting down with Andrea
McGinty, founder of it's JustLunch and the powerhouse behind
33,000 Dates.
Known as the godmother ofmodern dating, andrea
(03:47):
transformed her own personalsetbacks into a legacy that's
helped thousands find love,especially in the second act of
life.
From matchmaking over 33,000couples to mentoring today's top
dating experts, andrea'snonsense approach and
trailblazing strategies continueto shape the modern dating
world.
So get ready I'm so excited fora candid and inspiring
(04:09):
conversation with the woman whohas truly redefined how we find
connection.
So, andrea, welcome to StarterGirlz.
I am so excited to have youhere today.
Andrea McGinty (04:19):
Thanks, I'm excited to be here too, and that
was quite an intro.
Thank you, isn't that?
Jennifer Loehding (04:24):
fun.
I know every time I do, though.
So just to give you, I say thisalmost I feel like I just say
this, like every time I do thisbut I spent 22 years in Mary Kay
and a good portion of that Iwas in leadership, and so we got
very familiar with doingaccolades, getting them for our
stuff, but also reading them.
And you know, I have foundsomething so fun and powerful
(04:45):
about when we hear stuff likethat.
It's so fun because I thinksometimes we forget all the cool
things that we do, right, andthen when somebody kind of says
it, it's like, oh my gosh, did Ido all that?
You know, it's kind of a funthing and I enjoy putting them
together.
So I'm glad you liked it Allright.
So I am excited to chat withyou.
(05:06):
I really like this idea of youknow, this authenticity, and I
just I can already feel yourenergy.
So I think we're going to havea fun time here, because I
really love it when people arejust kind of call it like it is,
you know.
And so what I want to do, Iwant to open this up and talk a
little bit about who Andrea islike, what you're doing right
now, what is this all about?
This dating and these 33,000dates, all of this stuff?
Andrea McGinty (05:28):
Well, the name of my company is 33,000 dates.
The name of my prior companyfrom the nineties was it's just
lunch and over the course ofthen till now I've set up over
33,000 people, so hence I named.
So you know, really I've set upprobably 38,000, but I can't
(05:50):
yeah probably more than I do.
It won't work.
So, yeah, that's how I came upwith the name and I've had over
10,000 marriages and it allstarted, you know, in the 90s
and you have to remember the 90s.
Well, first of all, I shouldsay I'm a business person and
accounting finance blah, blah,blah.
(06:11):
But what happened to me was Igot basically dumped at the
altar two days before my wedding, which launched me into coming
up with this idea.
For, for it's just lunch, butyou have to remember back then,
like all you guys out there whoare using, you know, online apps
(06:33):
and sites and services andmatchmakers, whatever you're
doing, there was none of that.
Jennifer Loehding (06:40):
Right yeah.
Andrea McGinty (06:41):
Nineties there was no Google.
I mean, when I tell my kidsthey're like no Google, like
what did you do all day?
Yeah, they're like, how did youget around?
Yeah, how did you get around?
There's no Google, there wereno dating apps, there was like
nothing, right.
So all of a sudden, I wasliving in Chicago at the time.
(07:22):
So after my friends, you know,after I came out of the whole
probably a month long, you knowpity party for myself and, you
know, got myself out of thetrenches, you know friends would
fix me up on dates and I'd goon dates and I'd be like,
because, you know, their pool ofpeople is one person.
And so one day this executiverecruiter called me and you know
again, I'm like 23, 24.
And she was calling me about,you know, some career
opportunities and I'm like, geez, I wish she was calling me
about three men that she had forme instead of three times men
(07:46):
that she had for me instead ofthree times, thinking that the
whole time.
And then I'm thinking, wait,this is a great idea.
I don't even remember what shesaid to me after that because I
started jotting down, you know,a business plan.
I thought, wow, wouldn't it begreat if there was a service
that acted like an executiverecruiter, that chose people for
you, that chose people for youand then told you where.
(08:10):
You went out for lunch or youwent out for a drink after work,
hence the name.
It's just lunch and you knew alot about them before you went
out, but you didn't know theirlast name.
You didn't have their photo,because even then, if you had
their photo or their last name,there was nothing to Google.
Good luck with that.
(08:31):
And it took off like crazy.
So first location was Chicago,then New York and Dallas one of
my favorite markets favoritemarkets and fast forward 15
years.
We have 110 locations worldwide.
And again, now it's big, it'sreally big.
(08:53):
And, of course, in the interim,what's happened?
Online dating started.
Google started, everything isshifting, but online dating is
still a mess, it's an infancy,it's chaotic, it's crazy and
there's still a lot of scamsgoing on and people asking for
(09:14):
money, which happens very rarelynow.
I mean, people like to talkabout that, but it really
doesn't happen on the top-notchapps or sites anymore.
So, within the course of a week, I got two offers for the
company One was fromDallas-based Matchcom and one
(09:34):
was from a private equity groupand I thought to myself this is
a good time to sell.
I see the writing on the wallit's just lunch office maybe had
a pool of 500, 700 people tochoose from.
If I was working on the internet, if I was working on sites, you
know kind of the world's myoyster, I've got tons of people
(09:56):
to pick from.
So I sold, I sold at theprivate equity firm, and then I
took two years off and just likekind of traveled all over the
world with my kids and draggedthem around to hey, we're going
to live in Morocco for a while.
Hey, we're going to live inThailand for a while.
And then I'm like, hey, I'm nota stay-at-home mom, I've got to
(10:20):
direct my energy.
So what happened to me was whatreally got me into 33,000 dates
was my brother.
So, I've got Irish Catholicfamily, a ton of siblings I'm
the oldest, six younger brothersand sisters my brother at that
point he's a CFO, he's goodlooking, he had just gotten
(10:41):
divorced and he's online andhe's like I'm meeting the most
awful, awful women.
They're not attractive, youknow, they're this, they're that
.
And uh, the next thing, I know,you know I'm like Jim, give me,
give me your uh credentials soI can log in.
And you know, take a look.
And I'm thinking to myselfhere's this intelligent guy and
(11:03):
the photos he posted.
Hey, guys out there, if you'reposting these kind of pictures,
we don't like them.
Jennifer Loehding (11:11):
Stop it.
Andrea McGinty (11:11):
Stop it.
Post good pictures.
No, like no shirt pictures,while you're yeah, none of that.
Yeah, none of that.
We don't want to see your car.
We don't want to see a photo ofyou taken in your mirror If you
think that's artistic.
We don't want to see your car.
We don't want to see a photo ofyou taken in your mirror If you
think that's artistic, we don't.
Or with a big fish, I'm likewhat the heck?
(11:32):
So anyway, I rewrite hisprofile, I fix his pictures and
a couple of weeks later hecalled me and goes hey, andrea,
getting good dates now and I'mlike say thank you to your older
sister.
And that's how it started.
And it started just referral.
Because here we are now.
You know, in the 2010s, onlinedating somewhat knows what it's
(11:56):
doing and there's some top notchcompanies out there.
But then what I start findingis people are either fearful of
it or they don't know what to do.
They don't know how to navigateit.
So here I come with 33,000dates.
Jennifer Loehding (12:13):
I love it.
Oh my gosh, I have so much tosay about this.
There's so much, it's soawesome.
I like, wow, like what a story.
Okay, talk about those datingapps.
I remember being in the 90etiescause I was in my twenties and I
remember those phone things.
You would dial a number and youcould leave a voicemail yeah,
somebody would call you, but youcouldn't see the person.
So you basically, if you wenton a date, it was a complete
(12:36):
blind date because you had notseen this person before.
And you like, can you imaginenow today, Like it's's so weird,
how things were back then?
Right, there was no, none ofthis dating stuff.
And I've seen these apps.
Now I can't imagine, like I'mnot in that position, but I
can't imagine I have kids and myyoungest will go through them
things and like they're likeswipe, and he'll come in and be
(12:56):
strong, like nope, that's a nope, nope, girl, nope.
I cannot even imagine having togo through that.
So I love this story.
I think it is so good and it'scrazy because I had another guy
on my show a while back that wasa dating coach more of a dating
coach for women and he kind ofwent through this whole story.
We went through this divorceand then his son passed away and
(13:23):
he was just giving advice outbut then started realizing that
women were kind of reaching outto him to find out, like, how to
date men, and so now that'skind of what he does and he's
got this huge following and it'sin a different kind of way, but
he does YouTube videos and hetalks about you know, how to
help, like how to understand men, basically, you know, in this
coaching space.
So I think this is great and Ithink to your point about how
(13:48):
the scared these dating apps are.
I did have a lady on my showthat was a top, I think.
She worked for the governmentand she actually had gone
through, I believe, one of thoseand started dating a supposed
guy and ended up gettingextorted for a lot of money.
She's been on several TV showsit is this post gone way past
now but she actually now helpspeople, talks on how to
(14:11):
recognize that kind of stuff,that scamming and stuff.
So I love what you're doing, Ithink it's awesome, I love the
story, I think it's great andwhat a just a way to take your
thing and find a need and how tolike capitalize on that right,
right, really, how to just buildon that and grow an empire from
it.
So kudos to you.
Andrea McGinty (14:30):
Thank you.
You know, I always think I havea really fun job because I meet
people from all walks of life.
It's not like I'm an attorneyand I'm working with other
attorneys all day.
I'm a banker, I'm you know, I'mwall street Right.
It's really, really interestingto hear people's stories, and
especially now.
You know, when I was doing it'sJust Lunch, I was working
(14:51):
mostly with 20s and 30s.
Now I'm working with my agegroup you know like the 40s and
50s primarily, and that's whatmy book is geared toward too.
But now those people, theydidn't grow up in the tech world
like our kids have you know, noproblem.
You know that privacy.
I gave that up years ago, mom.
(15:12):
You know who cares about that.
So so I get people a couple ofthings.
They're they're coming out ofdivorces and self-confidence.
They might have self-confidencein their career and everything
else they do, but with datingthey're like, oh my God, how do
I, how do I, how do I even dothis?
(15:32):
And then they've heard horrorstories.
Or they talk to single friendsthat tell them stories you know
of.
You know those friends aresingle for a reason.
By the way, you guys they'redoing something wrong out there.
Or you guys they're they'redoing something wrong out there,
or you know they're just afraidto put their picture up there.
Jennifer Loehding (15:48):
You know they're like.
Andrea McGinty (15:49):
Hey, you know um , I'm the chief marketing
officer.
What if other people in mycompany see me?
I'm like, well, they're onthere too.
You know so there's three oneson there.
So and then?
And then they don't know whatto do with it.
You know once, okay, so oncethey get over it, oh, wait back
up, Andrea, how do you pick theright site, because there's 1400
(16:13):
platforms out there?
I just recently took on a newclient last week and when I
asked her I do a 15 minutescreening call before I take a
client, just to make sure I canhelp and and I asked her what
are you doing?
And she goes oh, I'm on thisapp.
(16:34):
It's awful, it's called coffeemeets bagel.
And I'm thinking to myself whydid she pick that app?
Jennifer Loehding (16:40):
And so.
Andrea McGinty (16:40):
I asked her the question and she goes oh, my
best friend's in New York andshe's using it and that's how
she met her boyfriend.
I'm like, oh, ok, now it makessense, because coffee meets
bagel is really, really strongin New York, la, miami.
That's what I'd be thinking.
Yeah, that's it.
So you picked the wrongplatform.
You're on there for a week andyou quit and you're like this is
(17:04):
awful.
You know you used to big blow toyour ego you know going on
something like that wherethere's nobody out there, and
then once they do go on, youknow it's, they need help, they
need help.
I mean, it's just like youdon't go out on a pickleball
court without first taking aclinic.
(17:24):
You don't go play golf withoutyou know, having a couple of
instructions from a couple oflessons from a pro, and it's
kind of like they just go intothis like jungle and they don't
know what they're doing and so,ok, let's pretend they pick the
right app.
Ok, that's like one out offourteen hundred chance.
Ok, let's pretend they pickedthe right app.
(17:45):
Okay, that's like one out of1400 chance.
Okay, let's pretend they did.
Then you should read theseprofiles.
Okay, profiles, okay.
So here's what happened to women.
Women tend to write like littlenovels and men could care less.
Men, you guys.
You guys tend to write hardlyanything.
(18:05):
We know like pretty muchnothing about you.
So the what you need to do isthe in-between thing, you know,
maybe two paragraphs, threeparagraphs with bullet points.
If you're on a bumble or ahinge or something like that,
thank God, they limit you to youknow, 250 or 300 characters.
The next thing is photos.
(18:26):
Photos are the make or break it.
It's a visual medium and menlook at photos.
Women look at photos just asmuch as men.
So we go, everybody goes, firstfor the photos.
We look at the photos of thisperson, do we find them
attractive?
And all you see at first, ofcourse, is a little thumbnail
(18:51):
and you open it up and you seesome more photos, and so you've
got to have good photos.
So when people come to me andare working with me, I have them
send their photos over and Iwould say 80%.
I refer out to a service thatall they do is take professional
shots of people for datingsites.
That's all this company isabout and it's brilliant because
(19:12):
it's not like, they're not likeLinkedIn photos, they're, you
know, like really corporate andthey're not like oh, a swirly
wall behind you, like you're ina studio.
I mean, they're going to comeout for a couple hours and it's
not expensive, it's a couplehundred bucks and you're going
to get a lot of photos.
So we get a photo of you, youknow, with a golf club or skis,
(19:32):
or you know what you'reinterested in.
You know in a canoe, whateveryour thing is, reading, your
dogs, your whatever.
And now we've got, you know,good lighting, good, and I'm not
saying like, edit your photos.
Then the other thing going onright now is the whole advent of
AI, which personally I like,but you have to use it the right
(19:56):
way, and I can read in like 20seconds if somebody used AI.
You know they used Grok or theyused Claude or whatever they
used to write their profile.
Because they use some weirdwords that we don't use.
Yeah, they use some weird wordsthat we don't know.
Yeah, they use some weird wordsthat we don't use in everyday
conversation, yeah.
(20:17):
Or they toss their photos, youknow, into chat, gpt, and you
want your photos come back, likethis one woman.
She's really pretty, I don'teven know what she put in there
One of my clients and she sentit back to me.
Jennifer Loehding (20:30):
Here's my photos and I'm like and she sent
it back to me.
Andrea McGinty (20:34):
Here's my photos , and I'm like you, look like a
cartoon no, yeah, we're notusing those, you know, so don't
do that stuff.
You know if you're.
If you're going to use ai foryour profile, okay, write your
profile first and then look atai as if it's an editor, a
friend you know in real life.
Put it in and you'll get acouple of lines back that might
(20:56):
improve some of your stuff andthen you can use that.
Yeah, but don't write the wholething, yeah.
Jennifer Loehding (21:05):
Shall I go on with problems, I can do that in
a minute, but I want to add towhat you're saying, because I
think what you just said eventhough it's different than, like
, our LinkedIn profiles and allof those, are important points.
You know what I mean Havinggood photos, not using AI to
write everything, using it as aneditor, I mean, I think it just
comes down to the like, theprofessionalism of it.
Right, because the other guythat I just mentioned to you,
(21:27):
the other dating coach guy wetalked about this same thing
about pictures and stuff he saidtalked about having good
pictures because people do, theyput it and they do it in
business platforms too.
They do that stuff and thenthey wonder why they're not
looking professional or whatnot.
You know you want to beauthentic, you want it to be you
right, like you want.
You don't want to be likewearing something that you would
(21:48):
probably not be normally seendoing, or or you know, or like
I'm probably not going to showup at the golf course because I
don't play golf, but you mightsee me walking a dog and I might
do a pit, you know, like thatmight be something normal, you
know.
So I agree with all of that.
I just want to point that outbecause I think it's so
important and it's so funny thatwe're talking about this,
because I always talk about likenetworking, because I'm a
(22:12):
connector in a like.
I feel like you and I have someparallels, cause I've had
people tell me like you couldhave been a good like dating
coach, because I connect inbusiness and that's what I do is
I find people and I'm like Ihave no idea.
Sometimes when I meet somebody,I'll be like I have no idea
exactly why I need to connectthe person.
Like sometimes I'll just meetsomebody and I'll be like I need
to introduce you to somebodybecause there's something there.
(22:33):
I don't know if that's going tobe a business relationship in
the sense that you actually dosomething or y'all synergize and
they introduce you to somebody,but I need to connect those
people together.
So I think there there'ssomething you know really
powerful about the ability to dothat and, um, I think it's a
gift, I think I think it's acool thing to be able to do that
.
Andrea McGinty (22:59):
I'm here too.
I feel like I've been doingthis forever, even with an
accounting and financebackground.
I introduced one of my highschool friends they're still
married Two of my college suitemates they're still married to
who I introduced them to.
So I just have this thing.
It actually drives my kidscrazy because we'll be out and
maybe we're at the movies andI'll be like those two just
don't go together.
I do the same thing.
(23:19):
I'm like they know, and youknow, my youngest daughter
should be like mom, you'reembarrassing, we're going to go
sit somewhere else.
Jennifer Loehding (23:26):
Yeah, I did the same thing.
I will meet somebody sometimesthat I'm like they.
Just that doesn't I.
I, I had a good friend nokidding, I had this this guy
friend that my husband and I metout.
We were out together one nightand we met this guy friend and
he was from New York.
I, I, I got along with him verywell because he was dry until
(23:47):
the point and I'm kind of thatway.
So it worked well and we becamefriends.
And then we decided that wewere going to have like a dual
date where we wanted to meet hiswife and the wife shows up and
we and I want to say they'regreat people.
We became good friends withboth of them, but the wife
showed up and theirpersonalities were completely
different, which that's okay anda lot of times that works out.
But it was they.
They're not together anymore.
(24:09):
I, the first time I met them,the very first time I met them,
I was like I was like taken backCause.
I was like I don't get this,this I don't under, I don't
understand.
It wasn't even necessarilyabout looks.
I don't know what exactly allit was, but they ended up
getting divorced and I and I wasnot surprised when it happened
at all.
(24:29):
But it was the craziest thing,cause I remember that telling my
husband I'm like I don't knowhow they got to, I'm confused,
how did they end up together?
It was the funniest thing CauseI just, you just know,
sometimes, like you, you seesomebody or you meet them and
you just listen to them andyou're like how did that happen?
Like, how did that cometogether?
You know Right.
Andrea McGinty (24:48):
So I totally agree with you.
I mean, an extrovert doesn'tnecessarily need another
extrovert to be fine with anintrovert, you know.
I mean the things that reallymatter.
I really think there's threethings that matter, and it's
good communication, it's commonvalues, it's chemistry I agree,
(25:29):
and that chemistry thing.
I can't even begin to tell youabout chemistry because
chemistry okay, we're not 18where we go out on a date and
our hormones are like whoa, Ican't wait for, you know, x, y,
z to happen.
You know let's get intimate,you know it's not like that
anymore.
So we're a little bit older, inour 40s or 50s, whatever, if
chemistry doesn't happen withinthe first three dates.
It's never going to happen, ever, ever, ever.
And I get to know oh, I getsome clients to get stuck.
But Andrea, on paper he'sperfect.
For me, he's perfect.
(25:50):
He's from New York, he's got aninvestment banking background,
so do I?
This works my friends like um,but I'm not attracted to him.
I go it's not going to work,it's not going to work.
And then they wait six monthsand then they come back to me
and go you're right, it didn'twork, it didn't work.
Jennifer Loehding (26:08):
So you've got to have those you've got to
have those three.
Andrea McGinty (26:11):
you've got to have those three things, yeah,
yeah.
Everything else can fall intoplace different interests, you
know who cares.
You're going to learn some newthings.
Jennifer Loehding (26:21):
Thanks for pointing that out because I know
I think that is so true becauseI, you know, I have talks with
people and I don't even dorelationship, that's not a thing
but it comes up in conversationwith my girlfriends, that kind
of thing, and you know we talkabout that, the communications,
important values.
Funny story that other guy I'vebeen keep talking about that
came on the show.
He was telling this story abouthow he started dating this
woman and they got the moneyconversation out like in the
(26:44):
beginning, because he said I'mnot going to go down the road
and we've invested all this timeand then you've got to talk
values, like we had thatconversation in the beginning,
so we've already ironed that outand had that.
You know, wait, we know whereour values are.
And it made me laugh because Ithought that is so funny because
, especially if you're like in asituation like where I am,
where we've been married for along time, we were in our mid
(27:06):
twenties when we got married.
We were young, we didn't knowanything like values.
What's that about?
Like we're just.
You know, babies haven't getmarried and having babies, right
.
Well, as you get older, right,your priorities are different.
A lot of your core values arestill there, right, but we, we
talk about this.
I'm like you know, that is onevalue we did not have a
conversation about before we gotmarried.
(27:26):
We should have had aconversation about that one, you
know, because they do, theyfollow you and and if they're
not similar, they are issues andthey and the longer you're
together, the more they come upand you're kind of starting to
combat them.
You know what I mean, and so Ithink all those three things you
talked about, yes, yeah, Huge.
(27:46):
If I had it like, if I wasstarting all over, I'd be like
I'm calling you up, Help me withthe pro, help me with all this
stuff, cause I'm it like if Iwas starting all over, I'd be
like I'm calling you up, help mewith the pro, help me with all
the stuff, because I'm serious,like that.
I don't even, I wouldn't evenbe wanting to be like thinking
about all that I've got.
One of my good friends now isshe's been a widow for a couple
of years and she's in herfifties as well and she's like
(28:13):
I'm not opposed to dating, I'mjust not actively out looking.
And so we were joking aboutchecklists and we're like, oh my
gosh, can you imagine Like, ifnow they would, I don't have
this like checklist.
It'd be so awful.
I don't even know if we'd bepassing, cause I'd be like they
have to be like groundedcommunicator, you know, like all
these things Right, and I'mlike, oh my gosh, this would be
awful, I don't want to do it.
Andrea McGinty (28:35):
Yeah, yeah, you know, you know it's.
People are kind of shocked whenyou say something like that.
Yeah, people are, especiallythat people are widowed in their
fifties.
It happens, it does, it happensand you know it's.
That's just like another animaland people who have been in
(28:56):
happy marriages that are widowed, they tend to make really good
second marriages you know, intheir second act because they're
expecting something good,because they had something good
before it.
You know, yeah, but you got towork through.
you got to work through theprocess you know, there's an
entire process, and that that'sa whole different, a whole
(29:18):
different thing.
Jennifer Loehding (29:19):
Yeah.
Andrea McGinty (29:20):
You want to talk about another problem?
Jennifer Loehding (29:22):
Yeah, tell me , tell us another problem, yeah.
Andrea McGinty (29:25):
Let me, okay, let me tell you what happens.
This is, this is the other bigproblem with online dating.
So, you know, I get everybodyready, right?
You know, write their profile,get their photos up, put them on
the right site, load everythingup.
It's looking beautiful.
And then we have weeklycoaching calls.
I'm like how's it going?
Nobody's okay.
(29:46):
One or two things.
Nobody's messaged me.
And I go okay, how many menhave you messaged?
None.
I go what are you doing?
They're sitting there andthey'll tell me these are women
in their fifties and, by the way, guys, women, this is not the
1950s, you know, we are likeit's 2020s.
So I'm like no, no, no, no,we're all equal.
(30:08):
We reach out, you know, wereach out to men with
interesting, unique messages.
We don't, we don't just sitthere waiting for them to come
and they'll be like.
Jennifer Loehding (30:24):
well, I think I should be pursued and I'm
like well, it's a 50, 50, 50deal here.
Andrea McGinty (30:29):
And you know what drives men crazy?
When women and my male clientshalf my clients are male.
What drives them crazy is whenthey get a message from a woman
and this is the total messageit's a heart, it's a like, it's
a wig and that's it, nothingelse.
So they just kick the ballright back to the sky, like okay
, now I have to think upsomething witty and amusing to
(30:51):
say to this woman.
To the wife All men think when awoman reaches out is hey, she's
got self-confidence, andself-confidence is sexy.
It really is.
So you've got to be reachingout and it can't be these
(31:12):
insipid messages that are likehey, how's your Friday?
Hey, what are you doing for the4th of July?
It's generic and you start tothink that's a cut and paste you
know they're sending it toevery woman out there or they're
sending it to every man outthere.
So you've got to.
You've got to, you know, gothrough their profile or go
(31:32):
through you know what they'veposted on Bumble or Hinge or
whatever, and comment onsomething interesting and then
follow up with a question Short,sweet, nowhere than three
sentences, and hopefully they'regoing to respond, and then go
into this knowing that here'sthe odds.
Let's talk Vegas odds makerhere.
(31:52):
One in five messages gets areply.
So you can't go on and say, youknow, spend a half an hour and
send two messages and think I'vedone my work on this.
And so part of the process ofme coaching people, the first
couple of times I'm on the hourlong coaching call, I'm on the
(32:14):
platform with them, I'm onBumble with them and I'm like,
okay, we found this guy, helooks good, he's, you know,
checking our boxes.
I'm going to write the messageand so I'll read it out loud to
you before I send it.
And I read out loud the messageand the client's like we're
going to send that and I'm like,yeah, it's quirky.
(32:34):
It's not that it's weird, itmeans it's unique.
And you'll get a response backand all that does is push you up
in the algorithms and thensuddenly Bumble is starting to
show you better and better men.
So you know you've got to beinteresting with these messages.
And the other thing is youshould never have it feel and
(32:58):
this is a complaint I get frompeople online dating is awful.
I, you know, it's like myfull-time and I'm like what are
you doing?
And they're getting out andthey're scrolling and they're
seeing some good women andthey're like, oh, I'll save her
for later, let's see if there'ssomething better.
I'll save her for later, maybe.
(33:19):
No, you've got to do somethingwith these people because you
don't want them constantlycoming through your feed.
So I tell my clients there'sonly two things you can do with
somebody you're looking at.
You either block them anddelete them, or you send them a
message.
Doesn't mean you have to go ona date with them, but you're
information gathering.
So and I give it a score of oneto a hundred, anything.
(33:42):
When I'm on the phone with aclient, I'm like, okay, what is
he?
She'll go a 60.
Okay, anything over 50 getsgets a message.
Yeah, anything below a 50,delete.
We're we're not even, you know,wasting time and they want to
talk about it and I'm like, no,we're not going to talk about
this.
Yeah, no, we're done.
Yeah, yeah, he's not a goodmatch for you.
(34:03):
She's not a good match for you.
Let's move on to the next one,because, look, there's hundreds
of them.
And yeah, let's get going withthis and then stop the texting
after three or four times andlet's get to the date and let's
say the next message you shootout, whether a woman or a man
(34:24):
hey, I'm totally interested.
I think we're going to have funtogether.
How about we meet Thursdayafter work at 6 or Friday
afternoon at 4 for a drink atBistro 110?
Does one of those work for you?
So we're being specific.
We're not saying let's gettogether sometime Sometimes,
sometimes, sometimes, right,right, it's never going to
(34:47):
happen.
Jennifer Loehding (34:48):
Yeah, oh my gosh, there's so much.
Okay, look, I love that you'vegot this all planned, because I
think it's so great.
And you and like at the end,when you this is so funny, you
said that give them the optionthings, like you give them
there's.
There's like all psychologybehind all of that.
You know, like you give themthe two times because they have
to pick something.
They can't be thinking like yousay what time do you?
We did this in sales when I wasat Mary Kay.
I would talk about this.
(35:08):
This is how I got people toevents, because I wouldn't just
say, do you want to come onTuesday night to my event?
Because then they could say no.
I would be like, hey, I've gottwo events.
All that that's a lot to comeup with, right.
But now you give them to.
(35:29):
There's so much psychologybehind this.
But I'm going to say I justlove that you have this like
formula, like you've got allthis, like and so if you give
them guidance and a direction,like it's almost like closet
organizing or something.
(35:50):
When you come in, you know,when you're doing it yourself,
you're looking at everything andgoing, oh, this has value, this
has value.
I can't throw this away becausemom gave me this, dad gave me
this, sister.
You're going through all this,all this emotional warfare,
right, but if you have somebody,come in and they guide you and
just say this is the system,this is how we're going to
navigate this landscape.
So we're going to look at thisdating app and we're going to go
(36:12):
okay, we're looking at thesepeople and if we think they're
over a 50, then move them overhere, message them a couple of
times, move on to the dateYou're going to find out.
We're not going to keep doingall this playing around and
waging war in our heads becausewe overthink everything right
and overcomplicate.
Andrea McGinty (36:28):
Exactly exactly.
And you know what.
I approach this verystrategically.
I'm a business person first,but you know, yeah, okay, in the
dating sector, I'm good at that, but I'm a business person and
I look at things strategically.
And my book that came out inJanuary has 15 worksheets in it
and let's talk about the lastone for a minute.
(36:49):
It has QR codes that go witheach one that I walk you through
, like what you should bethinking about the last one.
I get pushed back on this onefrom clients or people who just
buy the book and email me andthey're like do I really have to
do this?
So what it is, it's a personalbusiness plan for your love life
, for your dating life.
(37:09):
And they're like Andrea, that'sso unromantic.
I go no, no, no, no, it'sstrategic.
We have to think about what areyou willing to do?
How long are you willing togive this?
What's it going to take?
Who's your competition?
Are you going to stay?
Are you going to stay living inDallas?
(37:31):
Are you thinking of moving?
Yeah, we asked a lot ofdifferent questions and then
they're prepared when they gointo this, you know, with the
things that they're looking forExactly, and the timeframe too.
Instead of like, oh, I went ononline dating and I quit after a
week, I'm like, no, here's howonline dating works.
Three months, three months,you're going to give it because
(37:52):
that's how long it generallytakes.
I mean, yeah, some people do ita month, you know, and meet the
one, but three months isgenerally what it takes to get
to that person and you've got togive it time and you've got to
be strategic in how you'rethinking about this, just like,
how'd you get ahead in yourcareer?
(38:13):
How'd you get ahead in you know?
How'd you become a bettertennis player, a better golfer?
Jennifer Loehding (38:18):
It's a plan.
Andrea McGinty (38:19):
Yeah, you had a plan.
You worked on it, yeah.
Jennifer Loehding (38:22):
No, I'm listening to this and I'm
hearing total, like I mean, Ithink it's great.
I think somebody out thereright now, if you are in a
position where you need you're,you're navigating this landscape
.
I think what you're doing hereis amazing, because I do.
I think so often, and let'smove out, not even talking about
dating, but anything that wewant to accomplish.
This is how you know, we eithernavigate it from the place of I
(38:42):
don't want to make a plan andI'm just going to roll in that,
or we have a plan, and if wewant to get something done, we
need to have a plan, you know,and so I get it, and I'm also,
by the way, an accountingbackground.
so I totally get it.
I totally get it.
I try to approach.
I mean, I want to say there aresome things in my life that I'm
not trying to reach a goal onright now that I just do like
(39:02):
you know, like I.
I joke about exercising, youknow, like that I just do it
every day, cause I've just doneit for so long, and I do it in
my training.
For anything right now, no, butI have also been a former
marathon runner and when I wasrunning marathons I was training
to run marathons I had a plan,you know.
And so I think, everything wedo, there were times in our
lives when we don't there ourtimes and we need them.
(39:23):
But right now, if you're inthat dating landscape and that's
important to you, it might be agood idea to have a plan of
action.
You know?
Yeah, just like what?
Andrea McGinty (39:35):
you said about the marathon.
You know I mean you weretraining for the marathon.
You know you didn't go out andrun 26 miles at first.
You know maybe you had arunning buddy or you know you
were doing a couple of miles andincreasing it or whatever.
It's the same thing with datingPractice and I always tell
people, especially people whohave come out of long marriages
or they're widowed, or longrelationships, the first three
(39:56):
or four dates are nothing to meexcept practice dates.
They're only practice, becauseI want you to get your
self-confidence and you know,wow, I'm still interesting, I
still have things to talk about.
You know, I haven't.
I haven't missed that much.
I'm still really interestingand that that makes you feel so
(40:19):
good.
And even if that person's notfor you, who cares?
And sometimes that's even whatI say.
You know they're 50, 50,.
I'm going on a date and it'searly, it's the beginning.
I'm like, hey, you were marriedfor 25 years.
Just go on a date with him.
Yeah, he's a may not be the manof your dreams, but you know
he's not awful either.
(40:39):
And get, get some practice.
Jennifer Loehding (40:42):
you know, yeah, I know, and I think that's
what life is about.
It's about, I think sometimeswe we have, you know we do
things because we don't.
You know we we stay away fromthings because we don't see that
immediate gain.
But I always think everything'sa learning experience anyways
and, like you said, you're goingto get some practice.
You're going to be better atthe next date If you go on one,
and even if it is a flop or abust, you're going to learn
(41:03):
something from it what not to do, maybe at the next one, or what
to do differently or, you knowwhatever.
So I think all things areexperiences that add to our tool
belt and help us, you know, bebetter at humans.
I want to ask you kind of apersonal question.
I think you, I think whatyou're doing is awesome and I
love your energy and I and Ireally love what you're bringing
to this, because I think thatyou're definitely vivacious,
(41:24):
you're passionate about this,and this is why I want to ask
you this question.
I want to know what you loveabout this.
What is this for you?
Because there's definitelysomething there for you.
Andrea McGinty (41:34):
Yeah, you know, I think I've got a little bit of
like a helper mentalitysomewhere inside me, like I like
to see people happy.
So I think this was a reallygood career choice for me and,
believe me, it wasn't somethingI planned out.
I did not plan this to be mycareer.
(41:55):
It kind of found me and it wasperfect for me because I could
relate to people you know thatcame in and they were having
trouble their 20s and 30s datingand then later on I was married
for 24 years and luckily had avery amicable divorce and that
(42:15):
was like six or seven years agoand it took me three more years
to go online and do and startdating because you know what I
mentally, I just wasn't ready.
Another thing that goes my firstworksheet my book, by the way
is where's your head at?
Because you've got to knowwhere, where your head's at um.
(42:36):
So what do I get out of this?
Um I I meet the mostinteresting people.
Um, I get to ask questions thatif you're in corporate America
you'd get fired if you ask thesequestions.
So I get very, you know, Ilearn very personal things about
people and I'm able to takethose things and use those
(43:00):
things and help them.
You know, on the pathway tofinding someone, and there is
nothing better than me, like ona Sunday morning, picking up my
work phone and seeing, like sometexts that you know are like
third date, andrea, it wentgreat.
Uh, we had a pajama party, youknow, like you know.
(43:21):
Or, or you know, oh, mybulletin board's right over
there, you know.
Or, or you know, oh, mybulletin board's right over
there.
And, um, okay, I'm looking atone one Christmas card I got and
it's like this six, you know itfolds out, it's like six panels
, whatever.
And she was one of my toughestclients.
I was like, oh, my gosh, whatam I going to do with her?
Um, and she's just tough asnails, nails, new York or Wall
(43:45):
Street, anyway.
But she also liked to sail andso when I was going through men
for another client, I saw thisguy that all I talked about was
sailing and I'm like, ooh, I'vegot to save this guy for her.
Anyway, the Christmas card, youknow.
So I lose track after you know,the package is over, that they
(44:08):
do with me.
But I knew she was dating him,the sailing guy.
And at Christmas time I getthis card and it says Andrea, we
got married.
Who knew, the same year I gotMedicaid, I would get married?
Jennifer Loehding (44:24):
Oh, my goodness.
Andrea McGinty (44:25):
Wow, and her name and I was like she's 65,
obviously, and you know it's asecond act for her and she's
thrilled.
So you know, I get.
I feel like I'm doing somethinggood too, you know I like it, I
have fun with it.
I like it, I have fun with it.
I have fun with these podcasts.
(44:47):
I want to help people you know,whether or not you know they
use me as a coach, or they buymy book, or they go on and take
my three minute dating quiz tojust on my website, just to see
how they stack up against otherpeople.
I feel like I'm helping youknow, I'm helping them, you know
, wrap their head around whatdating looks like in 2025.
(45:10):
Um, and okay, I got remarried.
Um, he was my sixth first datethat I met online and I met him
in two months and he's perfectfor me and he listens to my
stories.
You know, when we go out fordinner or for drinks, he's like
(45:31):
and he came from corporateAmerica.
He's like, oh my gosh, what youdo, you know and what people
say to you.
We just went and saw thatmatchmaker movie.
Um and he's like whispering tome that's your wife, that's what
I hear from your office Peoplesaying to you.
You know expectations andeverything, so I just think I
have a super fun job you do youdo and I can hear it in your
(45:53):
voice.
Jennifer Loehding (45:54):
I don't.
It's funny.
I used to ask this question alot and I don't always ask it,
but sometimes you know like I'man energy feeler, so I pick, I
pick up on people's energy and Ican tell when people are like
truly, I feel like I can tellwhen people are really
passionate about what they'redoing and they're you know like
they really like what they'redoing, and so that's what I
would say about these podcasts.
I never know how theseconversations are going to go.
(46:15):
I let them organically flow andthe questions I don't feel like
it always starts out the same,but how it navigates through
till we land the plane, I neverknow, because it's whatever
comes up in my heart or my headat the time I'm listening to
somebody.
So thank you for sharing that,because I think you know I've
had people come on.
We talk about being lightseekers and helpers of the world
, and I think when you get tofind your gift, whatever that is
(46:38):
, and you're passionate about it, I just think that's a really
cool thing.
And so I listened to you andyou were giving me chills, as I
was, because that's how I feelabout the work that I do and
that's why I do the podcast thatI do, because it's not just for
me about getting behind amicrophone.
I mean I talk all the time, Ihave no problem.
I do work workshops here.
I'm starting a new networkinggroup here.
I mean I do this stuff all thetime.
(46:58):
But it's really the messagethat I'm trying to send through
the podcast because of my ownpersonal journey, the things
I've had to go through, theillnesses I've had to overcome
and different things we'venavigated, and I feel like some
of us are chosen to share thosestories and to be those people
that can go out there and helpother people kind of find their
(47:21):
way, pave their way, and so what?
Andrea McGinty (47:22):
you're doing, I love it.
Jennifer Loehding (47:23):
I think it's great and for anybody listening
to this again, I'll say that'sin that place.
They need to go to your site,do all those things, check you
out, get your book.
Whatever they need to hire you,I don't know.
So, with all that, I want toknow where do we send them?
So if they do want to catch upwith you or find a book or take
that quiz that you're talkingabout, what's the website you
(47:44):
want to send them to?
Andrea McGinty (47:45):
Okay, go to my website, Go to 33,000dates and
it's 33000datescom, and there'sa couple things to do on there.
So one of them is I wouldabsolutely take the dating quiz
because it's going to show youhow you stack up against other
people who have been reallysuccessful with online dating
(48:06):
and have met somebody.
So it'll kind of give you moreinsight into you know how you're
doing in your mindset.
The second thing is my baby.
That came out.
My baby came out.
My book is really good too.
If you don't want to use mebecause it's really, I take you
through A through Z 166strategies.
(48:29):
There's no fluffy stuff inthere.
You know pretty direct Do this,do this, do this, don't do this
, don't do this.
So it's available everywhere.
Get it on Amazon, becausethat's where the best price is.
Jennifer Loehding (48:45):
Yeah it's on my website too, but get it on
Amazon.
Andrea McGinty (48:47):
Yeah, and then what else is there?
Oh, yeah, and then there'sanother thing on there where you
can click the link if you wantto do a 15 minute call with me
and see, you know, for a goodfit to work together.
And of course, I have a ton ofblogs and I've got a YouTube
channel, you know, just full ofme talking about.
(49:09):
You know, frequently askedquestions that I get all the
time Like am I too old?
To date?
That's the number one question.
Oh, my goodness, no, it'll belike a 53 year old.
Like no, no, you're right.
Jennifer Loehding (49:21):
No, no, I was too old.
I guess, if you decide you are,you are.
Andrea McGinty (49:25):
But no right, Right.
No, I'm too old, I guess.
If you decide you are, you are,but no Right, Right.
So you know.
Jennifer Loehding (49:32):
So I think there's good content on the, on
the website.
So that's where I'm going toconnect with you so we can stay
in touch.
I love what you're doing.
I think it's great and it's funand, um, I like your
personality, so I think thatmakes all the difference.
You know, you gotta have, yougotta have fun doing what you're
doing and you got to be funwith it.
You know, because nobody likesto be, you know, doing things
that are hard and dating doesn'thave to be, but it can be hard
(49:52):
if you're not doing it right.
So I think you're a greatresource for helping people
navigate that landscape andmaking it fun.
Make it not such that dreadedthing.
Oh gosh, I got to get back intothe dating world thing.
You know, like that's what Ihear from my single, my, my
divorce friends.
It's like, oh gosh, I don'twant to get back into that space
, you know.
So, hey, we're just going tosend them your direction, andrea
.
Andrea McGinty (50:13):
We're going to tell them all go that way, all
good.
Jennifer Loehding (50:16):
So thank you for sharing all this with us.
It's been great.
I've enjoyed chatting with youand, like this, is the first
time we've gotten to meet, andso it's been a pleasure to have
you on here and appreciate allthat you're doing to make the
world a better place.
Thank you, it's awesome.
All right, and to our audience,of course, we appreciate you
and want to say thanks fortuning in.
(50:37):
We hope you found this episodeboth inspiring and informative
and, of course, if you do, youknow what to do.
Go, do all the things likecomment, share so we can keep
sharing all of this fabulouscontent with you.
And, as I always say, in orderto live the extraordinary, you
must start, and every startbegins with a decision.
You guys, take care, be safe,be kind to one another and we
(51:04):
will see you next time.
Thank you.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!