There’s No Rush – The Feminine Way to Sobriety, Slowing Down & Softening Part 2

Let’s start with this: you don’t need me. You don’t need another book, another podcast, another guru telling you what to do. You already have everything you need inside of you. The problem? We’ve been conditioned to search outside of ourselves instead of trusting what’s already there.

In today’s episode, we’re continuing our conversation about The Feminine Way by diving into Principle #2: Luxurious Space. We’re talking about releasing the urgency, softening into trust, and giving yourself permission to slow the hell down.

I’ll share how this shift has shown up in my life—from honoring my body’s rhythms to restructuring my mornings and even how Matthew and I changed our financial dynamic to create more flow. It all comes down to this: There’s no rush.Everything will get done, and when we stop forcing and start listening, life meets us where we are.

Key Takeaways:

🌿 There's no rush—stop gripping so tightly and let life unfold.
🌿 Your schedule should support you, not control you.
🌿 If you’re pushing through resistance, ask: What happens if I just pause?
🌿 You don’t have to figure it all out—just find out by taking the next step.
🌿 The feminine way is about trusting that the answers will come when you stop forcing them.

This week, I invite you to pause. To stop trying to figure things out and instead just be in the experience. What shifts when you stop rushing?

🔗 Try Magic Mind with 20% off: magicmind.com/maryW20

DISCLAIMER: This podcast and its contents are not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. It is for educational and inspirational purposes. I am not a therapist or doctor. The views here are expressed a personal opinion and based on first hand experience. Please consult a doctor if your mental or physical health is at risk.

Episode Transcript

Mary Wagstaff (00:02):
Music. Welcome to stop drinking and start living
the feminine way. I'm yourhostess. Mary Wagstaff, holistic
alcohol coach and feminineembodiment guide here to help
you effortlessly release alcoholby reclaiming your feminine
essence. Sobriety isn't justabout quitting drinking, it's
about removing the distortionsthat keep you disconnected,

(00:26):
overwhelmed and stuck in cyclesof numbing. Each week, I'll
share powerful tools, newperspectives that transform and
deeply relatable stories to helpyou step into the power pleasure
and purpose that it is to be awoman. This is your next
evolution of awakenedempowerment. Welcome to the

(00:47):
feminine way. Welcome back tothe show. My beautiful
listeners, the first thing Iwant to say today is that you
don't need me. You don't needanyone. You don't need a
podcast, and yes, we do needcommunity. You don't need
another self help book. Youdon't need another guru. You

(01:11):
don't need anything except forthe magic that you were born
with, the miracle of the lifeforce that is pulsing inside of
you, because your wholenessalready exists, and until you
access that truth, you can'texpand to new heights, right?

(01:31):
Because we do grow, we do becomedifferent versions of ourself.
But I said this recently on thepodcast from the the podcast
I've been listening to curlyNikki, and I don't know if it
was her quote or someone she wasquoting, but she said there's
only one person in youraudience, and that's God. There
is you, and there is the divine,and the Divine is within you.

(01:55):
And so there is nothing that Ican tell you that you don't
already know yourself. And Itruly believe that, and I
believe that, you know, we arein this existential kink of
getting the thing that we say wedon't want because it makes us
feel because we don't know howto be in our pleasure. And that

(02:16):
really is the feminine way.
There is this resistance torelaxation, there is resistance
to receptiveness. And until wecan be in a non hustling, non
masculine way in our feminineself, we will continue to search

(02:37):
outside of ourselves for thingsthat we think are going to be
fulfilling and meaningful andsatisfying, but it's the
relationship with yourself thatyou have, of those things that
you have, of your mothering thatyou have, of your your part of
you that is a caretaker, aspouse, a partner, right Though
the relationship that you havewith that part of you that

(03:01):
becomes fulfilling. And I justlike when I teach yoga classes,
just like when I coach, I amjust a guide, and I don't know
more than you do, right? I havemore experience of awareness, of
thoughts that I've generated, ofthe confidence that I have, but

(03:23):
I'm still just on this journey.
I'm, you know, and the the skillset that we learn, right? Are
things that we we learn, but Ibelieve we can all learn them.
And do we have special, uniquegifts that are ourselves? Sure,
you know, I do think, and I'veshared this with you, that I
came into this world with onemission, which is to find

(03:44):
spiritual truth. And I think wekind of all have that, but it
was just, it's a little bit moreleading in my chart, some people
have, you know, abundance, liketheir pleasure and abundant of
things, relationships orfulfillment through creative

(04:07):
projects. But for me, it's beenspiritual seeking, but now it's
really spiritual seeing. It's nolonger seeking, and I did that
for a really long time. So whatI wanted to share with you today
is how to move throughrelaxation, resistance with the

(04:29):
second principle of the feminineway. Last week, we talked about
creating safety for yourself,and there's many ways to do
that. Resourcing, selfresourcing, is one way you can
ground, right? Safety is in ourroot chakra. It's grounded. But
then we lift up and we start toaccess these higher energy
centers so that the feminine isthe creative force. It's we

(04:53):
talked about receptivity,pleasure and expansion,
surrender in the sense.
Principle is space is luxuriousspace. So here's and we're
still, we're still on the vibefor this month, which is finding
out versus figuring it out. Sohere's the thought, there's no
rush versus I've got to figureit out. There's no rush. I'm

(05:18):
ahead of schedule. How does thatland in your body? When you tell
yourself there's no rushimmediately, when I say that, my
eyes are wide open, I'm right inthe present moment. I'm not in
my mind, in the future or in thepast. I'm right here right now.

(05:41):
It's such a gift of permission.
So when you find yourselfrunning around like a chicken
with your head cut off trying toget one more thing off your to
do list before you snuggleyourself in bed, to get some
rest before you know when you'relike, Oh, I just gotta empty the

(06:03):
dishwasher before I can put myfeet up. I want you to pause,
and I want you to pivot, and Iwant you to remind yourself
there's no rush, because asatisfying life is a life that
you approve of. And if thedishes even needed a pile up for
three days and you needed toclean one dish at a time just to
eat them. So what? But if youcould actually be in the

(06:25):
relaxation of the life you'vecreated of your hard work of
being a woman, and what it feelslike. I talked about this
earlier in the year that one ofmy missions was to honor my
schedule, and what I've realizedis that my schedule is cyclical,
and I'm a morning person, solike, I get up, I'm doing I'm

(06:48):
working with a personal traineron a challenge. I've been
training to get myself in,potentially competition shape,
at least that's a goal. So I'mthere every day, and I've
committed to that. But, youknow, I'm usually up at five out
of bed and I'm ready to go. Butthe days when I'm not, I really

(07:11):
honor that, and I have decidedthat I need to figure something
else out, that I need to takesomething else out of my
schedule. I need to do myworkout later. I need to push
something else later, because Ias much as I've committed to my
schedule, I've also committed tothis. I've also committed to
giving myself space and honoringmy body. Now, of course, if you

(07:32):
have to, like, be at a job atnine o'clock and you got to get
the kids up, there's some otherthere's some other things right
now? I'm not talking aboutsleeping in until 10 o'clock
here. I'm talking about mybody's not get like today.
Actually, this happened. Thealarm went off, I put the phone
back by my bed, and I laid backdown, and Matthew ended up

(07:56):
getting up before me, and heknows that if I'm resting, that
I've made the decision tocontinue to rest. It has changed
by digestion. It has changed mymood in the evening. It has
changed so much for me. Insteadof having resistance to it, I
decide it's not a problem. I canfigure it out, right? There's no
rush. There's no rush to get tothe gym. There's no rush to like

(08:20):
Emmett eats like a bird, right?
Like he can, like he eats likecereal or whatever. There's no
rush. There's no rush for any ofit, to keep the house tidy, to
send out another email. I canget it. I can figure it out.
It'll all get done. And thetruth is, is, when I show up
from the place that there's norush, what energy is that for
you? It's relaxed, it'sreceptive, and it's expansive

(08:45):
versus I've got to get it done.
It's got to be done now. I'vegot to figure this out. She's
going to find out and see whathappens. And then we come back
to what's the worst casescenario, maybe a sensation.
Now, if someone's depending onme, and I have my word I do it,
what I say I'm gonna do, right?
But when it comes to living inthe feminine, it comes to

(09:08):
cyclical living. I am not goingto honor my schedule to the
detriment of myself. That's whatI used alcohol for. I would use
alcohol to, sometimes to relax,to get more energy where there
was none. That's not how thefeminine that's not the feminine
way. The feminine way is there'sno rush, and it can wait.

(09:31):
Because where am I rushing to?
Where are we rushing to? There'stwo truths. We are born, and
then we die, and we have thistime in between figuring it out,
we're just kind of like makingit up until we die. How do you
want to spend it? You want tospend it with a schedule and a
to do list? Or do you want tospend it living in the pleasure
of the moment with yourselfmaking the best choices to

(09:55):
support your nervous system?
Because the truth is, is you'regoing to live a. Lot longer,
when you step into yourpleasure, when you soften, when
you relax, when you stop withthe rigidity of your life, okay,
there's no rush giving yourselfluxurious space to make change,

(10:17):
to transition. You don't have tohave it figured out. I don't
have to have this figured out.
I'm going to learn throughobservation. I'm going to learn
through curiosity. Mostimportantly, I'm going to learn
by listening to the way that mybody responds to the day. So if
you are not drinking, but you'restill not feeling great. This is

(10:43):
a great place to start. Wherecan you soften and where can you
listen more? Where are youignoring the wisdom of your
body? And this will lead intoour third part of the feminine
way, and I am just in suchadmiration of you for hearing

(11:07):
the call, because you wouldn'tbe here, you wouldn't be
inquiring, you wouldn't belistening and really Taking this
right? We can listen to all thethings, but sometimes we have to
put blinders on, and that's whyI started this call with saying,
you don't need anything else.

(11:28):
What if for today, you decidedto stop. I have enough
information. I don't need tofigure it out. I'm going to find
out now by first hand, embodiedexperience, and I'm going to
stop taking in more information.
And this is, you know, where Ibelieve coaching comes in, is
that we give ourselves theluxury of being in the practice

(11:55):
of it, because the practice ofit is what is hard for it to
stick right, and being in thepermission of the practice that
it is practice so that we can,we can tell our story, we can
evaluate what happened, and wecan really make a make a
different mindset approach. It'snot a plan. It's not a rigid

(12:15):
plan. It's the energy and themindset you want to take into it
next time, and knowing how do wework with our ever changing,
cyclical needs, we have to do itfrom a place there's no rush.
And that's why the program thatI offer people is an extended
program, because to reallyregulate your nervous system

(12:38):
into a new way of being thatfeels actually really safe does
require time, so I would lovefor you to jump on a one on one
call with me, so I can tell youmore about my coaching
mentorship, and hear you andhear your story and really
witness You in your aliveness.

(13:01):
I'll talk to you soon. Ifsomething in today's episode
spoke to you deeply you areready for your next level of
awakening, and I want to inviteyou to book a sober glow up
activation session with me wherewe can rewrite your alcohol
story. Right now, we'll removethe energetic blocks that are
keeping you stuck and stagnantto activated and alive, to book

(13:25):
a session and to learn more,just follow the link right here
in the show notes, or head onover to my website, Mary
Wagstaff coach.com and find outwhat it means to truly live life
from your most authentic self. Iwill See you over there. You