January 28, 2025 • 49 mins
We're into poetry now!
Super Familiar with The Wilsons
Find us on instagram at instagram.com/superfamiliarwitthewilsons
and on Youtube
Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com
Super Familiar with The Wilsons
Find us on instagram at instagram.com/superfamiliarwiththewilsons
and on Youtube
Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_02 (00:00):
Familiar Wilson's Media.
Relationships are the story.
You are made of meat, my friend,all the way down.
The following podcast uses wordslike and and also If you're not
into any of that shit, thennow's your chance.
3, 2, 1, run.
SPEAKER_01 (00:23):
I'm super familiar
SPEAKER_00 (00:23):
with
SPEAKER_01 (00:27):
you.
UNKNOWN (00:27):
Get it.
SPEAKER_00 (00:28):
Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons, I'm
Amanda.
SPEAKER_02 (00:30):
And I'm Josh.
Amanda, I write poetry now.
SPEAKER_00 (00:33):
I know, I really like it.
SPEAKER_02 (00:36):
And more than that, I'm recording it and I don't
know what the hell I'm gonna dowith these recordings.
SPEAKER_00 (00:41):
You should put them out on our socials so people can
listen to them.
See, I don't
SPEAKER_02 (00:44):
know, this is my thought.
I feel like spoken word poetryis probably one of the most
niche and least popular ways forpeople to receive any sort of
literature.
And maybe that's why I'minterested in
SPEAKER_00 (00:57):
it.
Okay, well, maybe this is yourpocket.
Maybe this is where you belong.
SPEAKER_02 (01:01):
This is what I'd like to do.
And I've never even been to aplace where they've read poetry
aloud before.
Is
SPEAKER_00 (01:07):
it like a slam poetry?
Is that what it's called?
A
SPEAKER_02 (01:09):
poetry slam?
See, that sounds a lot more likecultured and cool than what I
would
SPEAKER_00 (01:13):
do.
It also sounds aggressive.
SPEAKER_02 (01:15):
I would just do like a poetry plop, which is good
because it's an alliteration aswell.
But no, I would like to get tothe point where I'm comfortable
getting up in front of a crowd,reciting my poetry and not
caring how it's received.
SPEAKER_00 (01:28):
Oh, I'm married to like a beatnik.
Like we've gone backwards tolike the sixties and like
SPEAKER_02 (01:34):
this is my point is you're not married to a beatnik
you're married to a 50 plus yearold dude who is like sitting
here wondering if I can handlethe rejection of getting up and
reading my poetry and havingpeople say well that was here's
what I don't necessarily want tobe known for not that I care
about legacy but I don't want tobe the person that's like the
straw that broke the camel'sback as far as someone receiving
(01:56):
poetry it's like they hear meand they're like well shit okay
I can forget that now I neverwant to be exposed to that art
form again I
SPEAKER_00 (02:02):
think that You're really good and you need to give
yourself some grace.
SPEAKER_02 (02:05):
Well, this is what I would like to do, though.
I would like to practicereciting some of my poetry right
now.
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (02:13):
I don't know.
This feels like, though, so muchpressure on me, because I was
telling you you were good, andnow you're going to say some
really silly, goofy things, andnow I'm going to...
How is
SPEAKER_02 (02:22):
this pressure on you?
How is this about you all of a
SPEAKER_00 (02:24):
sudden?
I'm centering myself.
Go ahead.
SPEAKER_02 (02:26):
You are.
You are.
No, but this is, I kind ofthink, the point, because I
think for the first time theother night, I read one of my
poems to you, and to me, thatwas like a big...
step
SPEAKER_00 (02:38):
as well.
Was it?
Well, but you sent me therecordings of them.
SPEAKER_02 (02:40):
They're separation.
I record it.
SPEAKER_00 (02:42):
True.
SPEAKER_02 (02:43):
And then I send it, but I'm sitting in a little
room.
So here we go.
All right, so this one is kindof owed to all of our wonderful
billionaires.
Oh, God.
Who exist right now.
I
SPEAKER_00 (02:56):
don't want to think about
SPEAKER_02 (02:57):
them.
Well, okay, so ready?
Yes.
In my champagne penthouse, Irecline, dripping in silk,
looking so fine.
The world outside is a turbulentquake.
I say, how quaint with myartisan cake.
The news is grim.
The headlines scream, but I mutethe din with artisanal cream.
(03:18):
Earthquakes rattle.
Wars explode.
Hand me my Prosecco and avocadotoast.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(03:52):
And I've got AC and low tempsare the best.
The planet's cooking.
Oh, that's a shame.
Have you tried this sparklingrosé?
It's insane.
I'm living large while the worldimplodes, picking cashmere lint
off of my ethically sourcedrobes.
Caring is fine, but only intweets.
Empathy's distracting when lifeis this sweet.
SPEAKER_00 (04:12):
That's really cutting and really good.
and also just maddening.
SPEAKER_02 (04:19):
Well, this is the thing.
Maybe this is my form ofprotest.
SPEAKER_00 (04:23):
Well, I mean, but that's the point.
From my
SPEAKER_02 (04:24):
bubble, from my privileged bubble.
SPEAKER_00 (04:27):
Your privileged bubble.
But that's the point of an artform, right?
Is to incite feelings one way orthe other.
SPEAKER_02 (04:32):
Well, listeners out there, I want you to contact us
at familiarwilsonsatgmail.comand tell me, you can be honest
because there's the separationof email.
You can even create a new emailaccount if you want.
If you don't want to, you canremain anonymous.
And save me from myself if Ineed saving.
Just kind of let me know.
(04:53):
Is it worth for me to do thisthing?
And now it's time for ourSaturday sports soccer update.
It was a rough day.
Why you got to spoil the
SPEAKER_00 (05:06):
punchline here?
It's the teaser trailer.
SPEAKER_02 (05:09):
All right, here we go.
It was a tough outing for theMighty Wolves this week.
At Diamond Sports Park as theyfaced off against an opponent
led by a mysterious phenom namedSimon.
The result, a 2-0 loss that leftthe Wolves looking, well, a
(05:34):
little less mighty.
Winthrop Wilson, usually afortress both on offense and in
goal, had an uneven performance,struggling to find his rhythm.
It wasn't entirely his fault,though, as the team as a whole
seemed a step behind compared tolast week's thrilling victory.
Perhaps the absence of sidelinecoaching, particularly from that
(05:55):
one soccer dad, may have leftthe Wolves rudderless, their
strategy adrift in a sea ofyouthful confusion.
SPEAKER_00 (06:03):
Yeah, he was pretty quiet this week.
SPEAKER_02 (06:05):
He was.
SPEAKER_00 (06:06):
Moving on.
Do you think he got talked to bysomeone?
SPEAKER_02 (06:08):
I really don't.
I don't think that he is one tocare about that sort of thing,
but...
He did have other littlechildren that he had brought.
But
SPEAKER_00 (06:19):
they've been there every week.
SPEAKER_02 (06:20):
I know, but also there was like a little soccer
ball and he was playing withthem.
SPEAKER_00 (06:25):
Oh, maybe he's decided to give up on the one on
the field and start training upthe other
SPEAKER_02 (06:29):
two.
Which is weird because like wewon last week.
So I don't know.
He got complacent.
Anyway, Victoria was unusuallyquiet on the field while Gunter
delivered a workmanlikeperformance.
Solid, but not enough to tip thescales.
The true spectacle came from theother side, as Simon, a child
who some speculate mightactually be a 34-year-old
(06:51):
hairless undercover soccer pro,dominated the game.
SPEAKER_00 (06:54):
For real, though.
That kid was intense.
SPEAKER_02 (06:57):
With precision footwork and uncanny awareness,
Simon scored both goals, raisingmore than a few eyebrows and
some conspiracy theories.
Despite the loss, the Wolves...
Maintained their resilience,spirits remained high, and the
team seemed unfazed as theyshifted focus to week number
four.
The season is halfway over, andthis pack has plenty of time to
(07:20):
regroup and find their Howlagain.
SPEAKER_00 (07:23):
Howl! They were just happy for snacks.
Here's what I think the problemwas.
Well, one, the other team, theyhad more players than us.
By one.
By two.
They said all two.
And...
they all just, except for Simon,the rest of them just, they were
not afraid of the ball.
They didn't know what to do withit, but they created basically a
(07:44):
wall around the ball.
So our players couldn't get inthere.
They just like all like, Youever see like farm animals like
baby goats when you toss foodand they all just trying to go
with the food?
That's basically what they wereall doing.
They didn't know what to do withthe ball except just be around
it.
And that created this wall thatour kids just could not
(08:05):
penetrate.
And also we weren't playinggolf.
There was no one in the goal.
The coach decided to play zones.
SPEAKER_02 (08:11):
No, there was.
The coach did decide late in thefirst half.
There was a goalie because...
Gunter started in the goal, ifyou'll remember.
It's interesting, I wonder ifsomething was up with Gunter,
because he asked to start ingoal, right?
And then they switched him outfor, I don't remember, one of
the other children.
And then I heard Gunter say, Afew minutes later, I want to go
(08:33):
back and goal.
So maybe Gunter was nursing alittle injury or maybe just his
enthusiasm on this team, kind oflike Jimmy Butler of the Miami
Heat.
Maybe Gunter is gunning for atrade.
SPEAKER_00 (08:44):
Oh, maybe.
Maybe he wants to be traded tothe team that we played.
Anyway, I do think the biggestfactor, though, was not on the
field but in the air because itwas colder here yesterday
morning than it was in Alaska.
I learned that when I was at thegrocery store.
Somebody was telling me, but itwas 25 or 28 when we woke up.
(09:05):
It felt like 25.
And y'all don't understandFlorida sports.
I signed up for winter soccer soit wouldn't be 90 when we played
the fall soccer.
I didn't sign up for whateverthis nonsense is.
So I think they were justfrozen.
SPEAKER_02 (09:20):
Well, then all the children would have been
affected.
It's not like they brought inthis team from Alaska.
Or maybe they did.
SPEAKER_00 (09:26):
Maybe Simon is from Alaska.
You do not know.
SPEAKER_02 (09:28):
Perhaps.
I don't know.
But we're looking for a betterweek next week, so y'all stay
tuned.
What I want to talk about now, Ijust have a question for you.
And no judgment.
People need to feel free to bewho they are.
I was driving while I hadalready dropped Winthrop off at
school, and...
(09:49):
I drive through another schoolzone to get to work.
There was a crossing guard thatI noticed that's been there the
whole time, but I kind of justnoticed him this last time.
He always wears a cowboy hat.
And I'm like, whatever.
But I'd never seen him inmotion.
There was a point where he hadto stop the traffic and I was
(10:15):
the car that he stopped.
I was the first in line.
And the Just everything abouthim screamed evil.
cowboy cosplay to me.
SPEAKER_00 (10:24):
Did he do a line dance?
SPEAKER_02 (10:26):
No, no, no, no.
Okay, first of all, I mean realcowboy, not line dancing cowboy.
I mean, that also is cosplayingwhen you're line dancing and you
have the boots and you arecosplaying.
No, he swaggered up the street.
I noticed that he was wearingleather gloves.
Never seen those before.
You know, like leather gloves,like I'm gonna...
SPEAKER_00 (10:44):
Like driving gloves?
SPEAKER_02 (10:46):
I'm gonna get the doggies to go down the range or
something.
He swaggered up and everythingabout him in his boots and Cabo
hat said that he was fulfillingsome sort of fantasy with the
cars being the heifers.
And I'm just like, And he'smoving the little baby calves
across safely to GainesvilleMiddle School or wherever it
(11:07):
was.
And again, I'm not shaming thisgentleman.
I have no problem with anythingthat he's doing, but I have a
burning desire, I have a needfor him to admit that what he
was doing was living out hiscowboy fantasy.
SPEAKER_00 (11:20):
Did he have a giant belt buckle?
He
SPEAKER_02 (11:22):
did.
SPEAKER_00 (11:23):
Did he have a lasso?
SPEAKER_02 (11:25):
I did not see that.
It did not become necessary tograb a child wandering into the
street quickly.
So I didn't see the need forthat.
But what do you think about whenfolks are wearing these things
that are clearly like...
I mean, there's no need forcowboys in the world today,
right?
Except for, like, you do havefarms where they legitimately
(11:47):
wrestle the doggies, but...
SPEAKER_00 (11:50):
Maybe he came from the farm to do his stint as the
crossing guard.
So
SPEAKER_02 (11:53):
you think that when he was done, since I think it's
a volunteer position, he wasgoing to go straight to the
cattle
SPEAKER_00 (12:00):
run?
Yeah.
Was he an older gentleman or ayounger gentleman?
SPEAKER_02 (12:02):
Older.
He was older.
He was living out a fantasy.
Come on.
SPEAKER_00 (12:05):
Maybe he's a retired cowboy and he feels sad that he
doesn't get to dress up likethat anymore.
Maybe his wife finds it reallyhot or his husband or his
partner.
I
SPEAKER_02 (12:14):
don't need for him to be wearing something that
makes his wife hot when he'swithin 200 yards of the school
zone.
UNKNOWN (12:20):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (12:21):
I don't know what to tell you.
SPEAKER_02 (12:23):
I need to understand.
Any of you out there who dressup in gear, right?
And I'm not even talkingabout...
It'd be like me wearing a fullsoccer jersey, pads, cleats to
go shopping at Publix.
It's just I need to understand.
I need to climb into this wholementality.
And I'm fine with it as long asyou...
kind of let me know what's goingon I need to know how to react
(12:43):
do I need to be worried if I seethis guy out and he's dressed in
the chaps and the boots and thehat and he has his his lasso on
his hip am I about to gethogtied or is he just it's just
just like an innocent thefantasy that he's living out
that he just wants to wear thegear this is all I want to know
SPEAKER_00 (13:01):
Well, I mean, speaking of cosplay and people
dressing up to live outfantasies, we are going to
experience a lot of it thisafternoon at the Medieval Fair.
So are you going to feel unsafewith all of the wenches and
kilts that you will be seeing?
SPEAKER_02 (13:16):
Wenches and kilts.
This Ren Fair that we have is anabsolute excuse for people to
dress up however they want.
So we're going to see PowerRangers.
We're going to see lots offurries.
This is a thing that I know forcertain because we're such a
small town.
we have very few of theseconventions that come through
that people are emptying theiryou know the back of their
(13:38):
closet where all the shit fromParty City comes from they're
gonna empty so no but again thatit's it's this is the the
contract that that we mentallysign when we go to one of these
fairs people are gonna dress upI'm safe because I know that
that's the thing in fact peopleeveryone's gonna be dressed up
there except me and people aregonna be like oh what's wrong
with this guy you know do weneed to keep an eye on him and I
(14:01):
understand that and I'm okaywith that but no again we're
talking about just out in publicwhere there is no agreement
where, you know, if I show upand I'm going to my doctor
appointment and I've got a tailsticking out of my britches, you
know, like people are going tobe called, right?
Authorities are going to becalled.
(14:22):
That's what I'm saying to you.
SPEAKER_00 (14:24):
I'm so mad at you right now.
Oh, God.
SPEAKER_02 (14:30):
That
SPEAKER_00 (14:30):
visual was so good.
SPEAKER_02 (14:31):
Yeah, well, we'll see if it happens.
If you find a tail hanging inthe back of my closet, you'll
know.
Anyway, so, y'all, what do youthink?
People wearing costumes out...
Again, I'm not shaming anyone.
It's just understand theunexpected, especially in the
climate in which we findourselves.
The unexpected can be worrisomesometime, and I don't want to be
(14:53):
surprised when I'm out.
I want to know what to expect.
A symphony of colors unfoldingthe night.
With the day's final breath,I'll take flight.
(15:14):
Another thing that I noticed asI was in the school zone waiting
for the dude to do whatever itis that he was doing.
I will say that I think he's agood crossing guard, so I don't
SPEAKER_00 (15:21):
want to...
He's keeping all the childrensafe.
SPEAKER_02 (15:23):
He's doing well.
Is that I heard behind mesomeone having a phone
conversation in their car, and Ireally don't think that people
are aware how loud, like how youcan hear...
Every part of one side of theconversation.
SPEAKER_00 (15:36):
Well, or both sides, actually.
If they're using theirBluetooth.
SPEAKER_02 (15:41):
Oh, does that go through the speakers
SPEAKER_00 (15:42):
as well?
Oh my gosh, yes.
And I was in the parking garagethe other day, had taken
Winthrop to his eight-year-oldcheckup, and somebody was parked
in the parking garage, and youcould hear the entire
conversation because they werebroadcasting it over their
Bluetooth.
And it's so loud.
Do people, are they not aware?
Do they not care?
I...
SPEAKER_02 (16:02):
See, I don't know.
I would tend to think that ifthey're older, like our age,
that they're not aware.
I'm not aware of how loud mymusic is when I play it until
I'm in a situation now where Iwork in a place that it's very
undesirable because there'speople living all around on the
campus where I am.
It's very undesirable to rollinto work and have your music at
(16:25):
a level that other people canhear.
So I've become ultra aware ofthe fact of, oh gosh, I'm
blasting my music It's the sameon the outside because these
cars, especially you know as wego forward these cars have zero
sort of sound insulation becausethey're little tiny you know
cracker box cars and I'm veryaware of it I don't think that a
lot of people are aware of howloud whatever goes through your
(16:48):
speaker in your car is to theoutside world and of course you
don't really care unless you getpeople stopping you or you get
like if there's a noiseordinance or something which I'm
not aware of but so I don'tthink this is like a public
service announcement maybe topeople we could hear everything
that happens through thespeaker's of your car, period.
So keep that in mind.
(17:09):
I do not want to hear thespecifics, nor do I think that
you want me to hear thespecifics of your conversation
with the nurse at the doctoroffice telling you how it is
you're going to get the whateverfinger up your bum or whatever
else that needs to happen tocheck things or whatever.
This is not something that youwant people to hear.
(17:29):
No.
Speaking of the doctor's office,there's a segment that we used
to do that a visit to thedoctor's office has caused me to
want to revisit.
Okay.
(17:49):
You took Winthrop to the doctorthe other day.
I did.
And in the course of theconversations, you started to
talk about how Winthrop shouldstay in his own bed.
SPEAKER_00 (17:59):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (18:01):
What happens usually is we will put Winthrop to bed.
He is around eight years oldnow, and he's fine with being in
his bed, but then in the middleof the night, he'll get scared
or he'll just wake up, and thenhe'll come running and plop into
our bed.
Very disruptive.
SPEAKER_00 (18:19):
Yes, and it should also be known that we do not
have a king-size bed.
Like most married couples, wehave a queen bed, which is fine
because we like each other anddon't mind being in close
proximity.
But when you shove aneight-year-old between the two
of us, somebody is inevitablygetting kneed in the back.
SPEAKER_02 (18:32):
Oh yeah, it's a discomfort sandwich.
Now, I don't know, how did youget talking to the doctor about
this issue?
SPEAKER_00 (18:38):
Because it was his annual checkup.
So they asked things like, doyou brush your teeth twice a
day?
Like they ask him to readthings.
And then she asked about hiseating and asked about his
sleep.
And you know, what time does hego into bed?
And I said, you know, he'susually asleep by eight.
We start bedtime at seven, buthe's still waking up in the
middle of the night.
So that was how that came about.
SPEAKER_02 (18:57):
And in the course of talking, she was talking to, she
was addressing him or addressingyou when she started to talk
about what to do?
SPEAKER_00 (19:05):
She was talking to him.
She was not talking to me.
SPEAKER_02 (19:07):
But you were in the room.
SPEAKER_00 (19:08):
Yeah.
Okay.
And she was explaining to himthat it's really important for
our bodies to haveuninterrupted, or our bodies and
our brains to have uninterruptedsleep, which she's not wrong.
SPEAKER_01 (19:17):
That's right.
SPEAKER_00 (19:18):
And she was saying that, you know, she said to him,
did you know that humans reallyare not meant to sleep well?
they're meant to sleep alone iguess is what she was saying
which makes me wonder what hermarriage setup is like but that
um i might edit that out okay umshe was saying i'm not gonna
okay she was saying that i meanand i don't mean that in about i
(19:38):
i know people who are marriedand do not sleep in the same
room because they don't get thatthey don't get quality sleep so
i'm not judging theirrelationship i'm just saying
what that setup is like so shewas saying that humans are not
meant to sleep with other otherhumans because it breaks our our
sleep cycle or you know it wakesus up and so that it really is
better for him to sleep in hisown room
SPEAKER_02 (19:59):
right i don't know i'd be interested in talking
about that a little bit more atleast researching it because it
used to be that that when we'rein caves we would all just kind
of like sleep in one big one bigperson puddle so
SPEAKER_00 (20:13):
to keep each other warm and to protect you from the
saber-toothed tigers yes
SPEAKER_02 (20:16):
yes so anyway not the point what is it that she
said that got me all twisted up
SPEAKER_00 (20:21):
so she told him here's where it fell down
because what she meant was amonth, but what she said was a
day.
She told him, if you can go tobed in your room, go to sleep on
your own, which we're still notthere.
We're still staying with himuntil he falls asleep.
Um, but if you can go to bed onyour own, go to sleep on your
own and sleep all night and dothat for one day, then you can
(20:44):
have a scheduled cuddled nightwith mom and dad where you fall
asleep in their bed and you wakeup in their bed.
Um, But then she said, so aftera month, so what she meant was a
month of that.
But what she told him was a day.
So then I had to disillusion himof that when he did it for one
night.
And it was a little bit unfairbecause he was right.
The doctor did say that, butthat's not what she meant.
(21:06):
Now, I will say you're upsetbecause she made this schedule
for this expectation for uswithout talking to us.
It does not bother me because ifI'm gonna get a month of
uninterrupted sleep, I'm happyto do a night of it.
SPEAKER_02 (21:22):
My point is very simply that she did not check
with the main office before shepromised this kid that he could
have a night's sleep starting inour bed, ending in our bed.
It's not her place to make thatdecision for us.
Well-intentioned, sure, but astep too far, period.
(21:43):
a step too far.
SPEAKER_00 (21:44):
Yeah, but it's working.
He's only had...
We now are...
Six days in and five of the sixdays he has slept through the
night in his bed.
So, I mean, I understand whereyou're coming from, but I'm just
happy that it's working.
SPEAKER_02 (21:58):
You know, as with most hills that we decide that
this is gonna be the hill thatwe die on, it's the principle of
the thing.
Like, next she's gonna be like,okay, well, if you behave really
well for the next month, mommyand daddy are gonna give you the
keys to the car and you candrive wherever the fuck you
wanna drive.
SPEAKER_00 (22:15):
I really do not think that that will happen.
I think But you, friend, areescalating.
SPEAKER_02 (22:19):
The door is open.
This is what I am telling you.
So, friends, listeners, pleaseget in touch.
FamiliarWilsons at gmail.com andtell us whether the doctor
overstepped a bounds by sayingthat he could stay in our bed
for a night.
Or if she should maybe have,like said...
(22:45):
Amanda, can we huddle about thisand come to some sort of
agreement?
This is the equivalent of thesoccer team not planning,
everyone gathering around theball, and then it's just a big
problem.
So, you know, I'm prepared to bewrong.
I'm not, but I'm prepared to bewrong.
SPEAKER_00 (23:03):
You sound like someone who's prepared to change
his
SPEAKER_02 (23:05):
mind.
So email us atfamiliarwilson.gmail.com.
Speaking of sleep, I becameaware of something this last
week.
And God bless, I don't rememberwhere I became aware of it.
So please, if you all have seenthis out here on the socials,
(23:25):
know that I've got so muchinformation coming to me.
I'm not trying to stealsomeone's idea or anything.
I generally don't remember whereI got this.
That gunk that is in the cornerof your eye.
Yeah.
What do you call that?
SPEAKER_00 (23:39):
We've always called it sleep.
SPEAKER_02 (23:40):
I have never called it sleep or had it referred to
as sleep because sleep...
is what happens and then you getthat stuff as a result.
I've never heard that stuffcalled sleep.
And...
SPEAKER_00 (23:53):
What did you call it?
SPEAKER_02 (23:54):
Like either eye boogers.
Have you never heard of eyeboogers?
SPEAKER_00 (23:56):
Yeah, but that's gross.
Why would you say that when theword sleep is available to you?
SPEAKER_02 (23:59):
Or schmutz.
SPEAKER_00 (24:01):
Okay, also schmutz.
I mean, I'm not like an80-year-old Jewish man from
Brooklyn.
Like I...
This is not...
It's called sleep.
My mom would always say you havesleep in your eye.
That's just a thing.
I
SPEAKER_02 (24:10):
have never heard that.
I became aware of it because...
I heard some British folks usingthat term as sleep.
You know, my child had sleep inhis eyes.
I was like, that is such to me aBritish way of talking about
something that's unpleasant.
Because to your point, gunk orgook or eye booger is gross.
(24:31):
And so they've decided to justcall it this magical term.
If Winthrop came into our roomand says, Daddy, I've got this
stuff in my eyes, what is itcalled?
And I would say, oh, buddy, youknow, that's called sleep.
I would instantly want to sitdown and write, you know, the
story about Peter Pan and theLost Boys finding the cave with
golden coins in it.
(24:51):
You know, it would just make mefeel so magical and so like of a
different culture.
And I just don't, I've neverheard that.
It just struck me in a way.
SPEAKER_00 (25:01):
That's so interesting because it's, yeah.
So I'm curious though, becausemy family's very Southern.
This is a term that my momalways used, super Southern from
Alabama, but I've also heard,That the closest to, now I'm
talking about accents for asecond, but the closest to like
the true, whatever English,Shakespearean language accent is
(25:25):
kind of like the Southerndialect, but maybe phrasing too,
I don't know.
They
SPEAKER_02 (25:31):
also call vomit, they don't tend to call vomit
SPEAKER_00 (25:34):
vomit.
They call it sick.
SPEAKER_02 (25:35):
They call it sick.
I mean, that's the same thing.
SPEAKER_00 (25:37):
Yes, because sick.
You've been sick, it's sick.
SPEAKER_02 (25:40):
That'd be like, though, going to the bathroom
and not referring to it as poop,but referring to it as lunch.
SPEAKER_00 (25:49):
Okay, I'm done talking about bodily fluids and
SPEAKER_02 (25:53):
excretions.
Oh, man, don't go into thetoilet, man.
I just had the worst lunch.
SPEAKER_00 (25:58):
Okay, but also that kind of works, though.
You had the worst lunch and thenit was a bad bathroom
experience.
Why?
Why do we always come back tobathroom talk?
SPEAKER_02 (26:06):
Listen, it's the root.
Just like Southern is the rootof Shakespearean English, super
familiar with the Wilsons, ourroot is, you know, bad lunch in
the toilet.
What can
SPEAKER_00 (26:16):
I say?
Not mine.
SPEAKER_02 (26:17):
Well, you married into the name,
SPEAKER_00 (26:19):
baby.
SPEAKER_02 (26:21):
Moving on.
We got a letter from our friendLeo.
Leo, we're thinking about you.
He says, hey, Wilsons, justwanted to catch up on a couple
things.
First, one of the latest thingsyou talked about, food.
I don't much have an aversion tomany textures, but I do have an
aversion to how foods look.
We did talk about how for megrowing up, food texture was
(26:43):
just a really important thing.
But for Leo, it's how it looks.
One of my biggest aversions isin regard to fish.
I love fish.
In fact, I love most seafood,but what I cannot eat is a fish
with the head still on it.
SPEAKER_00 (26:57):
You don't want the eyeballs looking at you, Leo?
SPEAKER_02 (26:59):
I simply can't eat my food if it's looking at me.
So I agree with that.
Nothing that has eyes do I wantto know from.
You know these people who likeeat eyeballs?
SPEAKER_00 (27:08):
Yeah, thank you.
SPEAKER_02 (27:10):
Like not food shaming anyone.
But I would not be able to lookdown at a soup and see it
looking back at me.
Like eye contact is veryimportant in social situations,
but not with your soup.
So I'm with you, Leo.
And he says something else.
He says, I also want to touch onsomething you talked about a few
episodes ago, sleeping withseparate blankets.
SPEAKER_00 (27:32):
Oh, yes.
SPEAKER_02 (27:32):
So he's been married 25 years.
and we've had separate blanketsfor a long time.
It started many years ago when Ibought my wife a super soft
throw blanket one Christmas.
She loved it so much that shestarted using it as her primary
blanket and so he purchased ablanket for his own and they've
slept that way ever since.
(27:53):
So Leo is on our side here wherewe've kind of got, we've got the
situation now where we've gottwo separate blankets and then
because it's cold we have ablanket So we're kind of like a
Crunchwrap Supreme where we'vegot several coatings.
That's right.
Our own individual coating andthen something just to keep us
(28:15):
in the bed together.
So thank you, Leo, for atleast...
Now, Leo, what do you thinkabout this doctor overstepping
her bounds?
That's what I want to know.
And now, Refine Gay Thoughtswith Refine Gay Jeff.
Happy post-snow days, Wilsons.
I'm still a little giddy fromthe snow Houston received this
(28:37):
week.
SPEAKER_00 (28:38):
You got so much snow, Jeff.
It was beautiful.
SPEAKER_02 (28:41):
Yes, he says that it's the first significant snow
that he's had since he movedthere 24 years ago, took several
photos and videos of which heshared one with me, and I swear
it looked like a Christmas card.
Yes.
And interestingly, from...
Our friend Chris, ChrisMcClellan, who I do the other
(29:03):
podcasts with, he sent us avideo that was sent to him from
a family member from NewOrleans, like snow-filled
streets.
SPEAKER_00 (29:12):
Oh yeah, I know.
I have a colleague who lives inNew Orleans and she was sharing
things and it's just magical.
SPEAKER_02 (29:17):
Yeah, it's magical.
like I said, from the warmth ofmy room looking at a video.
He says, it's never a good signwhen Jim Cantore comes to town.
And that happened to him.
SPEAKER_00 (29:34):
Do we need to explain to the listeners?
For the listeners that are notfrom the United States or the
Southern United States anyway,Jim Cantore is a weather
personality on a cable newschannel called The Weather
Channel.
And he is the person who goeswhere the worst of the storm is
going to be.
So when it's hurricane season,the joke is when Jim Cantore
(29:54):
shows up in your town, you needto evacuate.
That is going to be the centerof the storm.
And Jim Cantore showed up inHouston.
SPEAKER_02 (30:01):
Yes, for snow.
And he was warning about, Iguess...
Stay off the roads.
Whatever it is that he does, hedid that.
He says, Jeff says, people tookthe warnings to heart.
I think that they just realizedthey'd never driven in snow and
didn't want to risk it for thebiscuit.
And I would like to applaud thepeople in Houston for such
(30:23):
self-awareness because thatself-awareness does not live
here in Florida.
No, everybody would have been onthe roads.
Pretty much anything.
As I was out walking in myneighborhood, taking it all in,
all the families were outsidehaving snowball fights and
building snow people.
But that's the other thing islike, It's like you're not going
to go out in the hurricane andplay water balloons, right?
SPEAKER_00 (30:44):
You get some velocity behind those water
balloons.
That's
SPEAKER_02 (30:47):
right, but only in one direction.
He does say that this was thebest snow possible because the
three to four inches we receivedMonday night and through 10 a.m.
Tuesday was very fluffy andvirtually gone by Thursday
morning.
The sun came out, meltedeverything, dried it all up, and
there was no slush.
That's lovely.
That is lovely and surprisingbecause I feel like Houston...
gets the worst of it wheneverthere's like with floods and
(31:09):
stuff.
So I'm glad to hear that.
He said, absolutely 10 out of 10would do this again.
His two pups, Hazel and Johnnywere kind of confused because
they'd never seen it before.
Hazel would walk in it, butJohnny stayed on the sidewalk
and walkways.
He barely even walks on grasswhen it's 90 degrees.
What a diva.
SPEAKER_00 (31:27):
Oh, he needs little booties.
SPEAKER_02 (31:29):
So Jeff says something you did not know about
me.
Again, one of these segmentsthat Jeff is doing a lot better
keeping up with than we are.
I think maybe because there'snothing left.
that the people don't know
SPEAKER_00 (31:40):
about us.
We've been doing this for fouryears.
They know all this stuff.
SPEAKER_02 (31:43):
So things that we didn't know about Jeff.
Many years ago, I was in Italywith my parents and spent
several days in Rome.
One of the days we spent at theVatican doing and seeing all the
things you do and see at theVatican.
I am none the wiser what thatmight be, friend.
SPEAKER_00 (31:57):
Did you see the Pope?
That's all I got.
SPEAKER_02 (31:59):
One thing that made it interesting and special,
though, was that on my dad'sbirthday, June 28th, the
Catholic Church was celebratingthe Feast of St.
Peter and St.
Paul.
Now my family is not Catholic,but we did participate in this
because it gave us a chance totake part in something that was
kind of super cool.
We all stood beneath the windowand Pope John Paul II came to
(32:20):
the window and bestowed ablessing on us.
I can literally say I've beenblessed by the Pope in person.
SPEAKER_00 (32:26):
So there you go.
That's cool.
So you did see the Pope and yougot blessed.
That's very cool.
And you know what, Jeff?
However many years later, thatblessing came to you in the form
of a beautiful snowfall inHouston.
SPEAKER_02 (32:38):
Oh, you're giving that to Pope John Paul II?
I am, yeah.
He did that.
Oh, he did that.
He's not even like the goodPope.
I feel like the one that we havenow is supposed to be the good
Pope and this guy was kind of adick Pope, but I'm not certain
that that's so.
SPEAKER_00 (32:52):
Warn a girl because I had a mouthful of coffee when
you called him the dick
SPEAKER_02 (32:56):
Pope.
Amanda, I've not seen NobodyWants This simply because
Kristen Bell's characters in hermovies I've seen are not feel
good characters to me.
Thank you, Jeff.
This is what I'm saying.
Kristen Bell does not portraypeople that I want to see or
know or know that live in thisplanet.
SPEAKER_00 (33:13):
Okay, but Adam Brody, y'all, that's all I need
you to focus on, Jeff.
Go
SPEAKER_02 (33:17):
ahead.
He says, I did watch VeronicaMars back in the early 2000 and
enjoyed it.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_00 (33:22):
Kristen Bell is in Veronica Mars.
I didn't watch Veronica Mars,but I mean, just, she is a
little bit obnoxious, but thatis the character.
That is the character.
Let's just all get behind it.
She's a woman in her late 30s, Iguess, as she's supposed to be.
She is single.
She's got just a lot of stuffgoing on.
She's a little bit abrasive, butAdam Brody is so lovely.
(33:43):
And then in all the sidecharacters, his brother is
hysterical.
If you enjoy an ensemble cast orcharacter development, it's fun,
too.
SPEAKER_02 (33:53):
Yeah, I'm just saying that making that...
That character type, the maincharacter is where the problem
lies because you can't help.
It's like, you know, I'm goingto go see the Mona Lisa, but
that damn girl in the middle ofthe painting is really
distracting to me and I don'tlike it.
All right.
Adam
SPEAKER_00 (34:10):
Brody not in the Mona Lisa.
SPEAKER_02 (34:12):
She is in one of my favorite movies, however, that I
just watched again last week.
And she plays a not very nice,full of herself, bitchy
character.
Burlesque.
If you've not seen it, I highlyrecommend it.
Christina Aguilera absolutelyslays in it.
And of course, Cher and StanleyTucci are phenomenal as well.
SPEAKER_00 (34:30):
I have not.
I will check it out.
SPEAKER_02 (34:32):
Technically, he says, I guess that's the sign of
a great actor if they canengender feelings of animosity
from you about their characters.
But here's the thing.
When it starts to be everycharacter that they play, you
start to ask yourself...
who's reflecting whom
SPEAKER_00 (34:46):
here.
All right, Dax Shepard is comingfor you, Joshua.
SPEAKER_02 (34:49):
I can take him.
He's, yeah, I'm all right withthat.
Let's see.
He does talk about this idea ofhaving shows that you both watch
and then are there separateshows yeah
SPEAKER_00 (35:03):
we have separate shows
SPEAKER_02 (35:04):
we talked about that he says my parents have had
their own favorite shows andafter 64 years of marriage they
figured out how much it makessense to have two tvs if dad if
dad wants to watch sports ballhe goes to the bedroom if mom
wants to watch hallmark she goesto the bedroom What?
I think maybe living room.
All are happy and Jeffrey'sinheritance is still safe.
(35:26):
So they have two separate TVs.
I don't want to get to that.
We did talk about TikTok becauseeveryone's talking about TikTok,
although I guess things arepretty much back the way they
were from before.
I don't know.
I don't spend a big amount oftime on TikTok.
But he says this.
The 18-year-old is completelyright in her summation of what
happened.
My hope is that people withcommon sense...
(35:47):
Have figured this out as well,but as we all know, common sense
is not a flower that grows ineveryone's garden.
He does admit ignorance to thefollowing.
I don't know how people makemoney from TikTok.
Can you please explain it to melike I'm a kindergartner?
Do you know the answer to thatquestion?
SPEAKER_00 (36:01):
Revenue?
They get views and then that hassomething to do with the ads
that go on the algorithm andthen they get paid.
I don't know.
I
SPEAKER_02 (36:15):
mean, basically that's it.
They get paid because they are,by what they're doing, by what
their content is, they'reproviding value to TikTok.
People will engage with TikTokand...
if they want to see the latestcat videos on TikTok.
So they'll stay on the platform.
We know that TikTok hasadvertisers.
So people get exposed to theads, both by the fact that
(36:42):
they're on the platform and alsothat people who are influencers
on TikTok get incentivized torun ads because then they'll
also get paid for productplacement and all this and that.
So Jeff, that's how...
That's why people get paid, ifthat's the question that you're
asking, is that they keep peopleon the platform and so they
(37:05):
don't go to YouTube or Instagramor whatever.
But if you're asking how theyget paid, There's a TikTok
creator fund where to beeligible for that, you have to
have at least 10,000 followers,at least 100,000 video views in
the past month.
You have to be 18 or older, andyou have to have original
high-quality content, right?
That's directly from the TikTokthing.
(37:25):
And then they get paid based onviews, engagement, and their
region.
Interestingly, the pay rate isreportedly low, often around 2
to 4 cents per 1,000 views.
SPEAKER_00 (37:36):
Oh, wow.
That is low.
SPEAKER_02 (37:38):
But then...
If you're on live and peopleheart or diamond, I guess, your
live feed, then you get paidextra for that.
You get paid if you have a brandsponsorship or partnership.
You get paid for selling merch.
Listen, it's a big racket is allI'm trying to say here.
(38:00):
And it's very complicated andpeople are doing it and making
money.
SPEAKER_00 (38:04):
So like I said, revenue.
SPEAKER_02 (38:05):
Yes, you said it.
I guess if you're explaining itto a kindergartner, you'd say
they get money.
Everyone gets money.
TikTok certainly is gettingmoney.
Here's the thing.
If you're on a social media siteand it's free, then you are the
product.
Yep.
So that means that the reasonwhy TikTokers get paid is
(38:27):
because schmucks like me go onand they watch the shit.
That's why people get paid.
Jeff goes on, he needs to knowwho named Winthrop's soccer team
and why it's Wolves and notWolves.
SPEAKER_00 (38:40):
Jeff, I have so many questions and I'm not happy
about it.
Yes, he
SPEAKER_02 (38:45):
agrees.
He says, no wonder EducationAmerica is circling the toilet
bowl.
Yes, not because of that, butthat's certainly a sign that.
SPEAKER_00 (38:52):
Well, and I will say that the coach this week was
saying Wolves, plural.
and not wolf's possessivewithout the high comma, without
the apostrophe.
And so I didn't correct him thathe was being incorrect about the
grammatically incorrect name.
So at least the coach knows howto pluralize the word wolf.
But I don't know.
(39:13):
There is now, though, a moviewith its Brad Pitt and George
Clooney, I believe, calledWolf's.
So maybe it's an homage.
SPEAKER_02 (39:22):
Or product placement.
Someone's making money.
Who knows?
We did talk about asparagus.
So he said, concerning asparagusin scent or taste in bodily
fluids, urine is not the onlybodily fluid you can taste
asparagus in.
SPEAKER_00 (39:34):
Oh, thank you.
All done.
SPEAKER_02 (39:38):
He also says pineapple can be quite
noticeable.
James Buchanan is the only U.S.
president bachelor, he tells us,because we did talk about that.
He vowed never to marry after amisunderstanding with his
fiancee, which caused her totake her life.
SPEAKER_00 (39:53):
Oh, no.
Oh, that's
SPEAKER_02 (39:56):
sad.
His niece, Harriet Lane, servedas his acting first lady and is
actually considered to be thefirst of the modern first
ladies.
Oh.
There are several ships andyachts named in her honor.
Interesting.
He says the U.S.
Coast Guard cutter Harriet Lanewas involved in the 1996 search
recovery of TW Flight 800 offLong Island in 2010.
(40:17):
She was involved in the responseefforts of the Deepwater Horizon
oil rig explosion.
And this past June, she embarkedon a 68-day training mission to
the South.
Jeff, how do you know thisstuff?
That is amazing.
Harriet Lane, the person,enjoyed a friendship with Queen
Victoria and actually Queen Victried to get her married off to
(40:38):
an Englishman so she wouldalways be in England.
What would that be like if thefirst lady of the United States
got married to someone inEngland?
That would be a heck of a thingto watch on the crown.
SPEAKER_00 (40:52):
Didn't we do that with Meghan Markle and Harry?
SPEAKER_02 (40:54):
I try not to dip my toe into the Meghan Markle and
Harry puddle there.
He says, LOL.
Yes, Josh.
A pearl necklace is quitedifferent than a pearl earring.
Yes, I know.
He did.
He did check out the website orthe Instagram page that I
suggested called Only in Dade.
Hilarious.
(41:14):
He says, I think my twofavorites were the man that
shaved a six pack onto his bellyhair and the chicken in the baby
stroller at the big box store.
SPEAKER_00 (41:22):
Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_02 (41:23):
Welcome to my childhood, friend.
Oh,
SPEAKER_00 (41:25):
wow.
I mean, I've seen the six-packin the belly hair.
I've seen that, but I've notseen the chicken in the baby
stroller.
Like around here, we have thedogs and the cats in the baby
stroller, but I've not seen thechicken.
SPEAKER_02 (41:36):
Well, in Miami, if you see a chicken in the baby
stroller and you see that thepeople are taking care of the
chicken...
so well.
The assumption isn't that theyare fattening it up for, you
know, Sunday roast.
The assumption is this is thechicken that they're eventually
going to sacrifice to Django.
So...
Then there's that.
SPEAKER_00 (41:56):
Okay, that's now, we've gotten really dark during
Jeff's letter.
SPEAKER_02 (41:59):
Yes, so he closes by talking about how he is
recuperating from last nightafter they left the Ripcord,
where I was still getting shotsfor free of Jameson whiskey for
his birthday.
We went to George, the gay bardirectly beside the Ripcord,
obviously owned and named aftermy friend, Frank.
(42:20):
No, George.
It was slam-packed, and I wasmore than a little occupied.
There was a national meetingthis weekend in Houston for the
National Gay Softball Leaguebecause the World Series of Gay
Softball, yes, that's a realthing, will be in Houston this
year in September.
As a result of the meeting, eachleague participating from around
(42:41):
the country has sent at leasttwo guys from their teams.
Ya boy had a really good timelast night and will probably
enjoy it all over again tonight.
So he says, that's all for thisweek.
I hope that things are well andI'll let you know if I find a
part-time husband or at least aMr.
Right now.
SPEAKER_00 (43:00):
Okay, but so Jeff sent this letter yesterday and I
got no pictures last night,Jeffrey.
SPEAKER_02 (43:04):
He's probably still asleep.
SPEAKER_00 (43:06):
No, I mean, usually he sends them from the events.
SPEAKER_02 (43:10):
I don't want a picture that are happening
during certain events.
SPEAKER_00 (43:13):
No, no, no.
It's usually just of the drinksthat he's getting for free at
the ripcord.
SPEAKER_02 (43:17):
All right, so thanks, Jeff.
We'll talk to you soon, bud.
SPEAKER_00 (43:20):
Have fun.
No one likes to be told what todo.
SPEAKER_02 (43:24):
And now is the time of the program where we tell you
what to do.
Amanda, what should we do?
SPEAKER_00 (43:28):
I have recommended this before, but I'm going to
circle back in light of theconversation about separate TV
shows.
I am going to recommendShrinking on Apple TV if you
have it.
Jason Segel, Harrison Ford.
I tried to recommend it about ayear ago, and Josh was not
interested in watching it.
Kay our friend from F My WorkLife wrote in and said Josh you
(43:50):
gotta try shrinking so I wouldlike to report that Josh is now
five episodes in of shrinkingwith me I think that Brett
Goldstein connection BrettGoldstein you'll know is Roy
Kent from Ted Lasso who's anexec producer and is in the
second season I've been holdingoff on the second season waiting
for Josh to catch up with me butI think we might maybe have
(44:11):
found a show that he will watchwith me even even though it
makes him uncomfortable.
So I'm gonna say go watchShrinking.
SPEAKER_02 (44:21):
My input on this show is that it's an enjoyable
watch.
There are rarely real stakes.
And what I mean by that is thepeople are therapists, right?
So they're talking about reallyheavy things like grief and
family struggles.
(44:42):
And so the problem is, is thatno one's feelings truly ever get
hurt for more than five minutes.
No one is truly angry for morethan 10 minutes.
And so it's-
SPEAKER_00 (44:54):
That's the problem for you?
SPEAKER_02 (44:56):
It is because it's too pat.
Now, it's written very well.
My only other annoyance with itsometimes is that all the
characters are at 11 of theircharacter type at all times.
And there is no place on thisplanet even amongst a bunch of
therapists, where the peopletalk this much all the time.
(45:21):
Now having said that, I'm verymuch enjoying Harrison Ford in
it.
exceptional actor and he's funto watch and he does all the
little things of acting thatmake his character very
compelling and I'm enjoying therepartee just knowing that these
conversations are interestingartistic constructs that would
never happen in real life
SPEAKER_00 (45:42):
it's escapism then
SPEAKER_02 (45:44):
okay sure
SPEAKER_00 (45:44):
in a way of now it has brought up some
conversations about griefbecause as we know I have tons
of unprocessed grief and so ithas brought up some
conversations between us aboutgrief so therefore I do think
that even though it is as it cancause you to think more deeply
about things that maybe youshould be processing.
SPEAKER_02 (46:02):
Sure.
SPEAKER_00 (46:03):
Okay, fine.
Go watch Shrinking if youhaven't.
And don't talk to me about thenew season because I know it
came out a while ago.
I'm just waiting on Josh tocatch up.
SPEAKER_02 (46:17):
Okay.
All right, Amanda, that's allthere is.
There is no more.
What'd you think about thatmess?
SPEAKER_00 (46:21):
I enjoyed that and I am ready to go get my corset on
and head down to the MedievalFair.
And actually what I'm justreally excited about is the food
because I am doing thisintermittent fasting, but you
better believe during my windowfrom 11...
30 to 6 tonight.
I'm going to eat me some friedfood from the medieval fair.
SPEAKER_02 (46:42):
It's funny that you say that, but you also say
you're going to put on a corsetbecause that's your prophylactic
against filling up too
SPEAKER_00 (46:49):
much.
Yeah, I don't own a corset.
That was a joke.
SPEAKER_02 (46:51):
All right.
Well, we can buy one there.
SPEAKER_00 (46:53):
No.
SPEAKER_02 (46:55):
Interesting things that are on the horizon for us.
We are going to interview aCapoeira master called Samurai.
SPEAKER_00 (47:03):
Just to let that
SPEAKER_02 (47:05):
sit.
SPEAKER_00 (47:06):
Samurai's a really nice guy.
So maybe I'll save my Samuraistory for when Samurai's on
SPEAKER_02 (47:13):
the show.
Yeah, yeah.
He'll enjoy that.
We'll also have an update fromChicken Tom, who texted me
yesterday telling me about thisfire on his property that he had
to call 911 for.
SPEAKER_01 (47:23):
Yeah.
So we'll talk
SPEAKER_02 (47:24):
to Chicken Tom.
Also going to catch back up withChris Barron, see how he's
doing.
Spin Doctors are going torelease a new album in April.
And so we'll get him on to chatabout that.
and all other things as well.
But in the meantime, be lookingfor the new budding performance
poetry artist on the scene.
And yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (47:45):
At a local coffee shop near you.
SPEAKER_02 (47:48):
At a local and lots of snapping.
This is what we do in the scenenow.
If we like something, we don'tclap.
We just...
We snap.
So there you go, folks.
So until next week, y'all keepsmiling.
I know sometimes that's not easyin this world of ours.
But, you know, what else are yougoing to do?
Smile.
Your smile will maybe helpsomeone next to you feel better.
(48:11):
And then all of a sudden we livein a perfect world because
everyone started smiling.
There you
SPEAKER_00 (48:15):
go.
All right.
Go be kind.
Bye.
UNKNOWN (48:18):
Bye.
Familiar Wilson's Media.
Relationships are the story.
You are made of meat, my friend,all the way down.
The following podcast uses wordslike and and also If you're not
into any of that shit, thennow's your chance.
3, 2, 1, run.
SPEAKER_01 (00:23):
I'm super familiar
SPEAKER_00 (00:23):
with
SPEAKER_01 (00:27):
you.
UNKNOWN (00:27):
Get it.
SPEAKER_00 (00:28):
Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons, I'm
Amanda.
SPEAKER_02 (00:30):
And I'm Josh.
Amanda, I write poetry now.
SPEAKER_00 (00:33):
I know, I really like it.
SPEAKER_02 (00:36):
And more than that, I'm recording it and I don't
know what the hell I'm gonna dowith these recordings.
SPEAKER_00 (00:41):
You should put them out on our socials so people can
listen to them.
See, I don't
SPEAKER_02 (00:44):
know, this is my thought.
I feel like spoken word poetryis probably one of the most
niche and least popular ways forpeople to receive any sort of
literature.
And maybe that's why I'minterested in
SPEAKER_00 (00:57):
it.
Okay, well, maybe this is yourpocket.
Maybe this is where you belong.
SPEAKER_02 (01:01):
This is what I'd like to do.
And I've never even been to aplace where they've read poetry
aloud before.
Is
SPEAKER_00 (01:07):
it like a slam poetry?
Is that what it's called?
A
SPEAKER_02 (01:09):
poetry slam?
See, that sounds a lot more likecultured and cool than what I
would
SPEAKER_00 (01:13):
do.
It also sounds aggressive.
SPEAKER_02 (01:15):
I would just do like a poetry plop, which is good
because it's an alliteration aswell.
But no, I would like to get tothe point where I'm comfortable
getting up in front of a crowd,reciting my poetry and not
caring how it's received.
SPEAKER_00 (01:28):
Oh, I'm married to like a beatnik.
Like we've gone backwards tolike the sixties and like
SPEAKER_02 (01:34):
this is my point is you're not married to a beatnik
you're married to a 50 plus yearold dude who is like sitting
here wondering if I can handlethe rejection of getting up and
reading my poetry and havingpeople say well that was here's
what I don't necessarily want tobe known for not that I care
about legacy but I don't want tobe the person that's like the
straw that broke the camel'sback as far as someone receiving
(01:56):
poetry it's like they hear meand they're like well shit okay
I can forget that now I neverwant to be exposed to that art
form again I
SPEAKER_00 (02:02):
think that You're really good and you need to give
yourself some grace.
SPEAKER_02 (02:05):
Well, this is what I would like to do, though.
I would like to practicereciting some of my poetry right
now.
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (02:13):
I don't know.
This feels like, though, so muchpressure on me, because I was
telling you you were good, andnow you're going to say some
really silly, goofy things, andnow I'm going to...
How is
SPEAKER_02 (02:22):
this pressure on you?
How is this about you all of a
SPEAKER_00 (02:24):
sudden?
I'm centering myself.
Go ahead.
SPEAKER_02 (02:26):
You are.
You are.
No, but this is, I kind ofthink, the point, because I
think for the first time theother night, I read one of my
poems to you, and to me, thatwas like a big...
step
SPEAKER_00 (02:38):
as well.
Was it?
Well, but you sent me therecordings of them.
SPEAKER_02 (02:40):
They're separation.
I record it.
SPEAKER_00 (02:42):
True.
SPEAKER_02 (02:43):
And then I send it, but I'm sitting in a little
room.
So here we go.
All right, so this one is kindof owed to all of our wonderful
billionaires.
Oh, God.
Who exist right now.
I
SPEAKER_00 (02:56):
don't want to think about
SPEAKER_02 (02:57):
them.
Well, okay, so ready?
Yes.
In my champagne penthouse, Irecline, dripping in silk,
looking so fine.
The world outside is a turbulentquake.
I say, how quaint with myartisan cake.
The news is grim.
The headlines scream, but I mutethe din with artisanal cream.
(03:18):
Earthquakes rattle.
Wars explode.
Hand me my Prosecco and avocadotoast.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(03:52):
And I've got AC and low tempsare the best.
The planet's cooking.
Oh, that's a shame.
Have you tried this sparklingrosé?
It's insane.
I'm living large while the worldimplodes, picking cashmere lint
off of my ethically sourcedrobes.
Caring is fine, but only intweets.
Empathy's distracting when lifeis this sweet.
SPEAKER_00 (04:12):
That's really cutting and really good.
and also just maddening.
SPEAKER_02 (04:19):
Well, this is the thing.
Maybe this is my form ofprotest.
SPEAKER_00 (04:23):
Well, I mean, but that's the point.
From my
SPEAKER_02 (04:24):
bubble, from my privileged bubble.
SPEAKER_00 (04:27):
Your privileged bubble.
But that's the point of an artform, right?
Is to incite feelings one way orthe other.
SPEAKER_02 (04:32):
Well, listeners out there, I want you to contact us
at familiarwilsonsatgmail.comand tell me, you can be honest
because there's the separationof email.
You can even create a new emailaccount if you want.
If you don't want to, you canremain anonymous.
And save me from myself if Ineed saving.
Just kind of let me know.
(04:53):
Is it worth for me to do thisthing?
And now it's time for ourSaturday sports soccer update.
It was a rough day.
Why you got to spoil the
SPEAKER_00 (05:06):
punchline here?
It's the teaser trailer.
SPEAKER_02 (05:09):
All right, here we go.
It was a tough outing for theMighty Wolves this week.
At Diamond Sports Park as theyfaced off against an opponent
led by a mysterious phenom namedSimon.
The result, a 2-0 loss that leftthe Wolves looking, well, a
(05:34):
little less mighty.
Winthrop Wilson, usually afortress both on offense and in
goal, had an uneven performance,struggling to find his rhythm.
It wasn't entirely his fault,though, as the team as a whole
seemed a step behind compared tolast week's thrilling victory.
Perhaps the absence of sidelinecoaching, particularly from that
(05:55):
one soccer dad, may have leftthe Wolves rudderless, their
strategy adrift in a sea ofyouthful confusion.
SPEAKER_00 (06:03):
Yeah, he was pretty quiet this week.
SPEAKER_02 (06:05):
He was.
SPEAKER_00 (06:06):
Moving on.
Do you think he got talked to bysomeone?
SPEAKER_02 (06:08):
I really don't.
I don't think that he is one tocare about that sort of thing,
but...
He did have other littlechildren that he had brought.
But
SPEAKER_00 (06:19):
they've been there every week.
SPEAKER_02 (06:20):
I know, but also there was like a little soccer
ball and he was playing withthem.
SPEAKER_00 (06:25):
Oh, maybe he's decided to give up on the one on
the field and start training upthe other
SPEAKER_02 (06:29):
two.
Which is weird because like wewon last week.
So I don't know.
He got complacent.
Anyway, Victoria was unusuallyquiet on the field while Gunter
delivered a workmanlikeperformance.
Solid, but not enough to tip thescales.
The true spectacle came from theother side, as Simon, a child
who some speculate mightactually be a 34-year-old
(06:51):
hairless undercover soccer pro,dominated the game.
SPEAKER_00 (06:54):
For real, though.
That kid was intense.
SPEAKER_02 (06:57):
With precision footwork and uncanny awareness,
Simon scored both goals, raisingmore than a few eyebrows and
some conspiracy theories.
Despite the loss, the Wolves...
Maintained their resilience,spirits remained high, and the
team seemed unfazed as theyshifted focus to week number
four.
The season is halfway over, andthis pack has plenty of time to
(07:20):
regroup and find their Howlagain.
SPEAKER_00 (07:23):
Howl! They were just happy for snacks.
Here's what I think the problemwas.
Well, one, the other team, theyhad more players than us.
By one.
By two.
They said all two.
And...
they all just, except for Simon,the rest of them just, they were
not afraid of the ball.
They didn't know what to do withit, but they created basically a
(07:44):
wall around the ball.
So our players couldn't get inthere.
They just like all like, Youever see like farm animals like
baby goats when you toss foodand they all just trying to go
with the food?
That's basically what they wereall doing.
They didn't know what to do withthe ball except just be around
it.
And that created this wall thatour kids just could not
(08:05):
penetrate.
And also we weren't playinggolf.
There was no one in the goal.
The coach decided to play zones.
SPEAKER_02 (08:11):
No, there was.
The coach did decide late in thefirst half.
There was a goalie because...
Gunter started in the goal, ifyou'll remember.
It's interesting, I wonder ifsomething was up with Gunter,
because he asked to start ingoal, right?
And then they switched him outfor, I don't remember, one of
the other children.
And then I heard Gunter say, Afew minutes later, I want to go
(08:33):
back and goal.
So maybe Gunter was nursing alittle injury or maybe just his
enthusiasm on this team, kind oflike Jimmy Butler of the Miami
Heat.
Maybe Gunter is gunning for atrade.
SPEAKER_00 (08:44):
Oh, maybe.
Maybe he wants to be traded tothe team that we played.
Anyway, I do think the biggestfactor, though, was not on the
field but in the air because itwas colder here yesterday
morning than it was in Alaska.
I learned that when I was at thegrocery store.
Somebody was telling me, but itwas 25 or 28 when we woke up.
(09:05):
It felt like 25.
And y'all don't understandFlorida sports.
I signed up for winter soccer soit wouldn't be 90 when we played
the fall soccer.
I didn't sign up for whateverthis nonsense is.
So I think they were justfrozen.
SPEAKER_02 (09:20):
Well, then all the children would have been
affected.
It's not like they brought inthis team from Alaska.
Or maybe they did.
SPEAKER_00 (09:26):
Maybe Simon is from Alaska.
You do not know.
SPEAKER_02 (09:28):
Perhaps.
I don't know.
But we're looking for a betterweek next week, so y'all stay
tuned.
What I want to talk about now, Ijust have a question for you.
And no judgment.
People need to feel free to bewho they are.
I was driving while I hadalready dropped Winthrop off at
school, and...
(09:49):
I drive through another schoolzone to get to work.
There was a crossing guard thatI noticed that's been there the
whole time, but I kind of justnoticed him this last time.
He always wears a cowboy hat.
And I'm like, whatever.
But I'd never seen him inmotion.
There was a point where he hadto stop the traffic and I was
(10:15):
the car that he stopped.
I was the first in line.
And the Just everything abouthim screamed evil.
cowboy cosplay to me.
SPEAKER_00 (10:24):
Did he do a line dance?
SPEAKER_02 (10:26):
No, no, no, no.
Okay, first of all, I mean realcowboy, not line dancing cowboy.
I mean, that also is cosplayingwhen you're line dancing and you
have the boots and you arecosplaying.
No, he swaggered up the street.
I noticed that he was wearingleather gloves.
Never seen those before.
You know, like leather gloves,like I'm gonna...
SPEAKER_00 (10:44):
Like driving gloves?
SPEAKER_02 (10:46):
I'm gonna get the doggies to go down the range or
something.
He swaggered up and everythingabout him in his boots and Cabo
hat said that he was fulfillingsome sort of fantasy with the
cars being the heifers.
And I'm just like, And he'smoving the little baby calves
across safely to GainesvilleMiddle School or wherever it
(11:07):
was.
And again, I'm not shaming thisgentleman.
I have no problem with anythingthat he's doing, but I have a
burning desire, I have a needfor him to admit that what he
was doing was living out hiscowboy fantasy.
SPEAKER_00 (11:20):
Did he have a giant belt buckle?
He
SPEAKER_02 (11:22):
did.
SPEAKER_00 (11:23):
Did he have a lasso?
SPEAKER_02 (11:25):
I did not see that.
It did not become necessary tograb a child wandering into the
street quickly.
So I didn't see the need forthat.
But what do you think about whenfolks are wearing these things
that are clearly like...
I mean, there's no need forcowboys in the world today,
right?
Except for, like, you do havefarms where they legitimately
(11:47):
wrestle the doggies, but...
SPEAKER_00 (11:50):
Maybe he came from the farm to do his stint as the
crossing guard.
So
SPEAKER_02 (11:53):
you think that when he was done, since I think it's
a volunteer position, he wasgoing to go straight to the
cattle
SPEAKER_00 (12:00):
run?
Yeah.
Was he an older gentleman or ayounger gentleman?
SPEAKER_02 (12:02):
Older.
He was older.
He was living out a fantasy.
Come on.
SPEAKER_00 (12:05):
Maybe he's a retired cowboy and he feels sad that he
doesn't get to dress up likethat anymore.
Maybe his wife finds it reallyhot or his husband or his
partner.
I
SPEAKER_02 (12:14):
don't need for him to be wearing something that
makes his wife hot when he'swithin 200 yards of the school
zone.
UNKNOWN (12:20):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (12:21):
I don't know what to tell you.
SPEAKER_02 (12:23):
I need to understand.
Any of you out there who dressup in gear, right?
And I'm not even talkingabout...
It'd be like me wearing a fullsoccer jersey, pads, cleats to
go shopping at Publix.
It's just I need to understand.
I need to climb into this wholementality.
And I'm fine with it as long asyou...
kind of let me know what's goingon I need to know how to react
(12:43):
do I need to be worried if I seethis guy out and he's dressed in
the chaps and the boots and thehat and he has his his lasso on
his hip am I about to gethogtied or is he just it's just
just like an innocent thefantasy that he's living out
that he just wants to wear thegear this is all I want to know
SPEAKER_00 (13:01):
Well, I mean, speaking of cosplay and people
dressing up to live outfantasies, we are going to
experience a lot of it thisafternoon at the Medieval Fair.
So are you going to feel unsafewith all of the wenches and
kilts that you will be seeing?
SPEAKER_02 (13:16):
Wenches and kilts.
This Ren Fair that we have is anabsolute excuse for people to
dress up however they want.
So we're going to see PowerRangers.
We're going to see lots offurries.
This is a thing that I know forcertain because we're such a
small town.
we have very few of theseconventions that come through
that people are emptying theiryou know the back of their
(13:38):
closet where all the shit fromParty City comes from they're
gonna empty so no but again thatit's it's this is the the
contract that that we mentallysign when we go to one of these
fairs people are gonna dress upI'm safe because I know that
that's the thing in fact peopleeveryone's gonna be dressed up
there except me and people aregonna be like oh what's wrong
with this guy you know do weneed to keep an eye on him and I
(14:01):
understand that and I'm okaywith that but no again we're
talking about just out in publicwhere there is no agreement
where, you know, if I show upand I'm going to my doctor
appointment and I've got a tailsticking out of my britches, you
know, like people are going tobe called, right?
Authorities are going to becalled.
(14:22):
That's what I'm saying to you.
SPEAKER_00 (14:24):
I'm so mad at you right now.
Oh, God.
SPEAKER_02 (14:30):
That
SPEAKER_00 (14:30):
visual was so good.
SPEAKER_02 (14:31):
Yeah, well, we'll see if it happens.
If you find a tail hanging inthe back of my closet, you'll
know.
Anyway, so, y'all, what do youthink?
People wearing costumes out...
Again, I'm not shaming anyone.
It's just understand theunexpected, especially in the
climate in which we findourselves.
The unexpected can be worrisomesometime, and I don't want to be
(14:53):
surprised when I'm out.
I want to know what to expect.
A symphony of colors unfoldingthe night.
With the day's final breath,I'll take flight.
(15:14):
Another thing that I noticed asI was in the school zone waiting
for the dude to do whatever itis that he was doing.
I will say that I think he's agood crossing guard, so I don't
SPEAKER_00 (15:21):
want to...
He's keeping all the childrensafe.
SPEAKER_02 (15:23):
He's doing well.
Is that I heard behind mesomeone having a phone
conversation in their car, and Ireally don't think that people
are aware how loud, like how youcan hear...
Every part of one side of theconversation.
SPEAKER_00 (15:36):
Well, or both sides, actually.
If they're using theirBluetooth.
SPEAKER_02 (15:41):
Oh, does that go through the speakers
SPEAKER_00 (15:42):
as well?
Oh my gosh, yes.
And I was in the parking garagethe other day, had taken
Winthrop to his eight-year-oldcheckup, and somebody was parked
in the parking garage, and youcould hear the entire
conversation because they werebroadcasting it over their
Bluetooth.
And it's so loud.
Do people, are they not aware?
Do they not care?
I...
SPEAKER_02 (16:02):
See, I don't know.
I would tend to think that ifthey're older, like our age,
that they're not aware.
I'm not aware of how loud mymusic is when I play it until
I'm in a situation now where Iwork in a place that it's very
undesirable because there'speople living all around on the
campus where I am.
It's very undesirable to rollinto work and have your music at
(16:25):
a level that other people canhear.
So I've become ultra aware ofthe fact of, oh gosh, I'm
blasting my music It's the sameon the outside because these
cars, especially you know as wego forward these cars have zero
sort of sound insulation becausethey're little tiny you know
cracker box cars and I'm veryaware of it I don't think that a
lot of people are aware of howloud whatever goes through your
(16:48):
speaker in your car is to theoutside world and of course you
don't really care unless you getpeople stopping you or you get
like if there's a noiseordinance or something which I'm
not aware of but so I don'tthink this is like a public
service announcement maybe topeople we could hear everything
that happens through thespeaker's of your car, period.
So keep that in mind.
(17:09):
I do not want to hear thespecifics, nor do I think that
you want me to hear thespecifics of your conversation
with the nurse at the doctoroffice telling you how it is
you're going to get the whateverfinger up your bum or whatever
else that needs to happen tocheck things or whatever.
This is not something that youwant people to hear.
(17:29):
No.
Speaking of the doctor's office,there's a segment that we used
to do that a visit to thedoctor's office has caused me to
want to revisit.
Okay.
(17:49):
You took Winthrop to the doctorthe other day.
I did.
And in the course of theconversations, you started to
talk about how Winthrop shouldstay in his own bed.
SPEAKER_00 (17:59):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (18:01):
What happens usually is we will put Winthrop to bed.
He is around eight years oldnow, and he's fine with being in
his bed, but then in the middleof the night, he'll get scared
or he'll just wake up, and thenhe'll come running and plop into
our bed.
Very disruptive.
SPEAKER_00 (18:19):
Yes, and it should also be known that we do not
have a king-size bed.
Like most married couples, wehave a queen bed, which is fine
because we like each other anddon't mind being in close
proximity.
But when you shove aneight-year-old between the two
of us, somebody is inevitablygetting kneed in the back.
SPEAKER_02 (18:32):
Oh yeah, it's a discomfort sandwich.
Now, I don't know, how did youget talking to the doctor about
this issue?
SPEAKER_00 (18:38):
Because it was his annual checkup.
So they asked things like, doyou brush your teeth twice a
day?
Like they ask him to readthings.
And then she asked about hiseating and asked about his
sleep.
And you know, what time does hego into bed?
And I said, you know, he'susually asleep by eight.
We start bedtime at seven, buthe's still waking up in the
middle of the night.
So that was how that came about.
SPEAKER_02 (18:57):
And in the course of talking, she was talking to, she
was addressing him or addressingyou when she started to talk
about what to do?
SPEAKER_00 (19:05):
She was talking to him.
She was not talking to me.
SPEAKER_02 (19:07):
But you were in the room.
SPEAKER_00 (19:08):
Yeah.
Okay.
And she was explaining to himthat it's really important for
our bodies to haveuninterrupted, or our bodies and
our brains to have uninterruptedsleep, which she's not wrong.
SPEAKER_01 (19:17):
That's right.
SPEAKER_00 (19:18):
And she was saying that, you know, she said to him,
did you know that humans reallyare not meant to sleep well?
they're meant to sleep alone iguess is what she was saying
which makes me wonder what hermarriage setup is like but that
um i might edit that out okay umshe was saying i'm not gonna
okay she was saying that i meanand i don't mean that in about i
(19:38):
i know people who are marriedand do not sleep in the same
room because they don't get thatthey don't get quality sleep so
i'm not judging theirrelationship i'm just saying
what that setup is like so shewas saying that humans are not
meant to sleep with other otherhumans because it breaks our our
sleep cycle or you know it wakesus up and so that it really is
better for him to sleep in hisown room
SPEAKER_02 (19:59):
right i don't know i'd be interested in talking
about that a little bit more atleast researching it because it
used to be that that when we'rein caves we would all just kind
of like sleep in one big one bigperson puddle so
SPEAKER_00 (20:13):
to keep each other warm and to protect you from the
saber-toothed tigers yes
SPEAKER_02 (20:16):
yes so anyway not the point what is it that she
said that got me all twisted up
SPEAKER_00 (20:21):
so she told him here's where it fell down
because what she meant was amonth, but what she said was a
day.
She told him, if you can go tobed in your room, go to sleep on
your own, which we're still notthere.
We're still staying with himuntil he falls asleep.
Um, but if you can go to bed onyour own, go to sleep on your
own and sleep all night and dothat for one day, then you can
(20:44):
have a scheduled cuddled nightwith mom and dad where you fall
asleep in their bed and you wakeup in their bed.
Um, But then she said, so aftera month, so what she meant was a
month of that.
But what she told him was a day.
So then I had to disillusion himof that when he did it for one
night.
And it was a little bit unfairbecause he was right.
The doctor did say that, butthat's not what she meant.
(21:06):
Now, I will say you're upsetbecause she made this schedule
for this expectation for uswithout talking to us.
It does not bother me because ifI'm gonna get a month of
uninterrupted sleep, I'm happyto do a night of it.
SPEAKER_02 (21:22):
My point is very simply that she did not check
with the main office before shepromised this kid that he could
have a night's sleep starting inour bed, ending in our bed.
It's not her place to make thatdecision for us.
Well-intentioned, sure, but astep too far, period.
(21:43):
a step too far.
SPEAKER_00 (21:44):
Yeah, but it's working.
He's only had...
We now are...
Six days in and five of the sixdays he has slept through the
night in his bed.
So, I mean, I understand whereyou're coming from, but I'm just
happy that it's working.
SPEAKER_02 (21:58):
You know, as with most hills that we decide that
this is gonna be the hill thatwe die on, it's the principle of
the thing.
Like, next she's gonna be like,okay, well, if you behave really
well for the next month, mommyand daddy are gonna give you the
keys to the car and you candrive wherever the fuck you
wanna drive.
SPEAKER_00 (22:15):
I really do not think that that will happen.
I think But you, friend, areescalating.
SPEAKER_02 (22:19):
The door is open.
This is what I am telling you.
So, friends, listeners, pleaseget in touch.
FamiliarWilsons at gmail.com andtell us whether the doctor
overstepped a bounds by sayingthat he could stay in our bed
for a night.
Or if she should maybe have,like said...
(22:45):
Amanda, can we huddle about thisand come to some sort of
agreement?
This is the equivalent of thesoccer team not planning,
everyone gathering around theball, and then it's just a big
problem.
So, you know, I'm prepared to bewrong.
I'm not, but I'm prepared to bewrong.
SPEAKER_00 (23:03):
You sound like someone who's prepared to change
his
SPEAKER_02 (23:05):
mind.
So email us atfamiliarwilson.gmail.com.
Speaking of sleep, I becameaware of something this last
week.
And God bless, I don't rememberwhere I became aware of it.
So please, if you all have seenthis out here on the socials,
(23:25):
know that I've got so muchinformation coming to me.
I'm not trying to stealsomeone's idea or anything.
I generally don't remember whereI got this.
That gunk that is in the cornerof your eye.
Yeah.
What do you call that?
SPEAKER_00 (23:39):
We've always called it sleep.
SPEAKER_02 (23:40):
I have never called it sleep or had it referred to
as sleep because sleep...
is what happens and then you getthat stuff as a result.
I've never heard that stuffcalled sleep.
And...
SPEAKER_00 (23:53):
What did you call it?
SPEAKER_02 (23:54):
Like either eye boogers.
Have you never heard of eyeboogers?
SPEAKER_00 (23:56):
Yeah, but that's gross.
Why would you say that when theword sleep is available to you?
SPEAKER_02 (23:59):
Or schmutz.
SPEAKER_00 (24:01):
Okay, also schmutz.
I mean, I'm not like an80-year-old Jewish man from
Brooklyn.
Like I...
This is not...
It's called sleep.
My mom would always say you havesleep in your eye.
That's just a thing.
I
SPEAKER_02 (24:10):
have never heard that.
I became aware of it because...
I heard some British folks usingthat term as sleep.
You know, my child had sleep inhis eyes.
I was like, that is such to me aBritish way of talking about
something that's unpleasant.
Because to your point, gunk orgook or eye booger is gross.
(24:31):
And so they've decided to justcall it this magical term.
If Winthrop came into our roomand says, Daddy, I've got this
stuff in my eyes, what is itcalled?
And I would say, oh, buddy, youknow, that's called sleep.
I would instantly want to sitdown and write, you know, the
story about Peter Pan and theLost Boys finding the cave with
golden coins in it.
(24:51):
You know, it would just make mefeel so magical and so like of a
different culture.
And I just don't, I've neverheard that.
It just struck me in a way.
SPEAKER_00 (25:01):
That's so interesting because it's, yeah.
So I'm curious though, becausemy family's very Southern.
This is a term that my momalways used, super Southern from
Alabama, but I've also heard,That the closest to, now I'm
talking about accents for asecond, but the closest to like
the true, whatever English,Shakespearean language accent is
(25:25):
kind of like the Southerndialect, but maybe phrasing too,
I don't know.
They
SPEAKER_02 (25:31):
also call vomit, they don't tend to call vomit
SPEAKER_00 (25:34):
vomit.
They call it sick.
SPEAKER_02 (25:35):
They call it sick.
I mean, that's the same thing.
SPEAKER_00 (25:37):
Yes, because sick.
You've been sick, it's sick.
SPEAKER_02 (25:40):
That'd be like, though, going to the bathroom
and not referring to it as poop,but referring to it as lunch.
SPEAKER_00 (25:49):
Okay, I'm done talking about bodily fluids and
SPEAKER_02 (25:53):
excretions.
Oh, man, don't go into thetoilet, man.
I just had the worst lunch.
SPEAKER_00 (25:58):
Okay, but also that kind of works, though.
You had the worst lunch and thenit was a bad bathroom
experience.
Why?
Why do we always come back tobathroom talk?
SPEAKER_02 (26:06):
Listen, it's the root.
Just like Southern is the rootof Shakespearean English, super
familiar with the Wilsons, ourroot is, you know, bad lunch in
the toilet.
What can
SPEAKER_00 (26:16):
I say?
Not mine.
SPEAKER_02 (26:17):
Well, you married into the name,
SPEAKER_00 (26:19):
baby.
SPEAKER_02 (26:21):
Moving on.
We got a letter from our friendLeo.
Leo, we're thinking about you.
He says, hey, Wilsons, justwanted to catch up on a couple
things.
First, one of the latest thingsyou talked about, food.
I don't much have an aversion tomany textures, but I do have an
aversion to how foods look.
We did talk about how for megrowing up, food texture was
(26:43):
just a really important thing.
But for Leo, it's how it looks.
One of my biggest aversions isin regard to fish.
I love fish.
In fact, I love most seafood,but what I cannot eat is a fish
with the head still on it.
SPEAKER_00 (26:57):
You don't want the eyeballs looking at you, Leo?
SPEAKER_02 (26:59):
I simply can't eat my food if it's looking at me.
So I agree with that.
Nothing that has eyes do I wantto know from.
You know these people who likeeat eyeballs?
SPEAKER_00 (27:08):
Yeah, thank you.
SPEAKER_02 (27:10):
Like not food shaming anyone.
But I would not be able to lookdown at a soup and see it
looking back at me.
Like eye contact is veryimportant in social situations,
but not with your soup.
So I'm with you, Leo.
And he says something else.
He says, I also want to touch onsomething you talked about a few
episodes ago, sleeping withseparate blankets.
SPEAKER_00 (27:32):
Oh, yes.
SPEAKER_02 (27:32):
So he's been married 25 years.
and we've had separate blanketsfor a long time.
It started many years ago when Ibought my wife a super soft
throw blanket one Christmas.
She loved it so much that shestarted using it as her primary
blanket and so he purchased ablanket for his own and they've
slept that way ever since.
(27:53):
So Leo is on our side here wherewe've kind of got, we've got the
situation now where we've gottwo separate blankets and then
because it's cold we have ablanket So we're kind of like a
Crunchwrap Supreme where we'vegot several coatings.
That's right.
Our own individual coating andthen something just to keep us
(28:15):
in the bed together.
So thank you, Leo, for atleast...
Now, Leo, what do you thinkabout this doctor overstepping
her bounds?
That's what I want to know.
And now, Refine Gay Thoughtswith Refine Gay Jeff.
Happy post-snow days, Wilsons.
I'm still a little giddy fromthe snow Houston received this
(28:37):
week.
SPEAKER_00 (28:38):
You got so much snow, Jeff.
It was beautiful.
SPEAKER_02 (28:41):
Yes, he says that it's the first significant snow
that he's had since he movedthere 24 years ago, took several
photos and videos of which heshared one with me, and I swear
it looked like a Christmas card.
Yes.
And interestingly, from...
Our friend Chris, ChrisMcClellan, who I do the other
(29:03):
podcasts with, he sent us avideo that was sent to him from
a family member from NewOrleans, like snow-filled
streets.
SPEAKER_00 (29:12):
Oh yeah, I know.
I have a colleague who lives inNew Orleans and she was sharing
things and it's just magical.
SPEAKER_02 (29:17):
Yeah, it's magical.
like I said, from the warmth ofmy room looking at a video.
He says, it's never a good signwhen Jim Cantore comes to town.
And that happened to him.
SPEAKER_00 (29:34):
Do we need to explain to the listeners?
For the listeners that are notfrom the United States or the
Southern United States anyway,Jim Cantore is a weather
personality on a cable newschannel called The Weather
Channel.
And he is the person who goeswhere the worst of the storm is
going to be.
So when it's hurricane season,the joke is when Jim Cantore
(29:54):
shows up in your town, you needto evacuate.
That is going to be the centerof the storm.
And Jim Cantore showed up inHouston.
SPEAKER_02 (30:01):
Yes, for snow.
And he was warning about, Iguess...
Stay off the roads.
Whatever it is that he does, hedid that.
He says, Jeff says, people tookthe warnings to heart.
I think that they just realizedthey'd never driven in snow and
didn't want to risk it for thebiscuit.
And I would like to applaud thepeople in Houston for such
(30:23):
self-awareness because thatself-awareness does not live
here in Florida.
No, everybody would have been onthe roads.
Pretty much anything.
As I was out walking in myneighborhood, taking it all in,
all the families were outsidehaving snowball fights and
building snow people.
But that's the other thing islike, It's like you're not going
to go out in the hurricane andplay water balloons, right?
SPEAKER_00 (30:44):
You get some velocity behind those water
balloons.
That's
SPEAKER_02 (30:47):
right, but only in one direction.
He does say that this was thebest snow possible because the
three to four inches we receivedMonday night and through 10 a.m.
Tuesday was very fluffy andvirtually gone by Thursday
morning.
The sun came out, meltedeverything, dried it all up, and
there was no slush.
That's lovely.
That is lovely and surprisingbecause I feel like Houston...
gets the worst of it wheneverthere's like with floods and
(31:09):
stuff.
So I'm glad to hear that.
He said, absolutely 10 out of 10would do this again.
His two pups, Hazel and Johnnywere kind of confused because
they'd never seen it before.
Hazel would walk in it, butJohnny stayed on the sidewalk
and walkways.
He barely even walks on grasswhen it's 90 degrees.
What a diva.
SPEAKER_00 (31:27):
Oh, he needs little booties.
SPEAKER_02 (31:29):
So Jeff says something you did not know about
me.
Again, one of these segmentsthat Jeff is doing a lot better
keeping up with than we are.
I think maybe because there'snothing left.
that the people don't know
SPEAKER_00 (31:40):
about us.
We've been doing this for fouryears.
They know all this stuff.
SPEAKER_02 (31:43):
So things that we didn't know about Jeff.
Many years ago, I was in Italywith my parents and spent
several days in Rome.
One of the days we spent at theVatican doing and seeing all the
things you do and see at theVatican.
I am none the wiser what thatmight be, friend.
SPEAKER_00 (31:57):
Did you see the Pope?
That's all I got.
SPEAKER_02 (31:59):
One thing that made it interesting and special,
though, was that on my dad'sbirthday, June 28th, the
Catholic Church was celebratingthe Feast of St.
Peter and St.
Paul.
Now my family is not Catholic,but we did participate in this
because it gave us a chance totake part in something that was
kind of super cool.
We all stood beneath the windowand Pope John Paul II came to
(32:20):
the window and bestowed ablessing on us.
I can literally say I've beenblessed by the Pope in person.
SPEAKER_00 (32:26):
So there you go.
That's cool.
So you did see the Pope and yougot blessed.
That's very cool.
And you know what, Jeff?
However many years later, thatblessing came to you in the form
of a beautiful snowfall inHouston.
SPEAKER_02 (32:38):
Oh, you're giving that to Pope John Paul II?
I am, yeah.
He did that.
Oh, he did that.
He's not even like the goodPope.
I feel like the one that we havenow is supposed to be the good
Pope and this guy was kind of adick Pope, but I'm not certain
that that's so.
SPEAKER_00 (32:52):
Warn a girl because I had a mouthful of coffee when
you called him the dick
SPEAKER_02 (32:56):
Pope.
Amanda, I've not seen NobodyWants This simply because
Kristen Bell's characters in hermovies I've seen are not feel
good characters to me.
Thank you, Jeff.
This is what I'm saying.
Kristen Bell does not portraypeople that I want to see or
know or know that live in thisplanet.
SPEAKER_00 (33:13):
Okay, but Adam Brody, y'all, that's all I need
you to focus on, Jeff.
Go
SPEAKER_02 (33:17):
ahead.
He says, I did watch VeronicaMars back in the early 2000 and
enjoyed it.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_00 (33:22):
Kristen Bell is in Veronica Mars.
I didn't watch Veronica Mars,but I mean, just, she is a
little bit obnoxious, but thatis the character.
That is the character.
Let's just all get behind it.
She's a woman in her late 30s, Iguess, as she's supposed to be.
She is single.
She's got just a lot of stuffgoing on.
She's a little bit abrasive, butAdam Brody is so lovely.
(33:43):
And then in all the sidecharacters, his brother is
hysterical.
If you enjoy an ensemble cast orcharacter development, it's fun,
too.
SPEAKER_02 (33:53):
Yeah, I'm just saying that making that...
That character type, the maincharacter is where the problem
lies because you can't help.
It's like, you know, I'm goingto go see the Mona Lisa, but
that damn girl in the middle ofthe painting is really
distracting to me and I don'tlike it.
All right.
Adam
SPEAKER_00 (34:10):
Brody not in the Mona Lisa.
SPEAKER_02 (34:12):
She is in one of my favorite movies, however, that I
just watched again last week.
And she plays a not very nice,full of herself, bitchy
character.
Burlesque.
If you've not seen it, I highlyrecommend it.
Christina Aguilera absolutelyslays in it.
And of course, Cher and StanleyTucci are phenomenal as well.
SPEAKER_00 (34:30):
I have not.
I will check it out.
SPEAKER_02 (34:32):
Technically, he says, I guess that's the sign of
a great actor if they canengender feelings of animosity
from you about their characters.
But here's the thing.
When it starts to be everycharacter that they play, you
start to ask yourself...
who's reflecting whom
SPEAKER_00 (34:46):
here.
All right, Dax Shepard is comingfor you, Joshua.
SPEAKER_02 (34:49):
I can take him.
He's, yeah, I'm all right withthat.
Let's see.
He does talk about this idea ofhaving shows that you both watch
and then are there separateshows yeah
SPEAKER_00 (35:03):
we have separate shows
SPEAKER_02 (35:04):
we talked about that he says my parents have had
their own favorite shows andafter 64 years of marriage they
figured out how much it makessense to have two tvs if dad if
dad wants to watch sports ballhe goes to the bedroom if mom
wants to watch hallmark she goesto the bedroom What?
I think maybe living room.
All are happy and Jeffrey'sinheritance is still safe.
(35:26):
So they have two separate TVs.
I don't want to get to that.
We did talk about TikTok becauseeveryone's talking about TikTok,
although I guess things arepretty much back the way they
were from before.
I don't know.
I don't spend a big amount oftime on TikTok.
But he says this.
The 18-year-old is completelyright in her summation of what
happened.
My hope is that people withcommon sense...
(35:47):
Have figured this out as well,but as we all know, common sense
is not a flower that grows ineveryone's garden.
He does admit ignorance to thefollowing.
I don't know how people makemoney from TikTok.
Can you please explain it to melike I'm a kindergartner?
Do you know the answer to thatquestion?
SPEAKER_00 (36:01):
Revenue?
They get views and then that hassomething to do with the ads
that go on the algorithm andthen they get paid.
I don't know.
I
SPEAKER_02 (36:15):
mean, basically that's it.
They get paid because they are,by what they're doing, by what
their content is, they'reproviding value to TikTok.
People will engage with TikTokand...
if they want to see the latestcat videos on TikTok.
So they'll stay on the platform.
We know that TikTok hasadvertisers.
So people get exposed to theads, both by the fact that
(36:42):
they're on the platform and alsothat people who are influencers
on TikTok get incentivized torun ads because then they'll
also get paid for productplacement and all this and that.
So Jeff, that's how...
That's why people get paid, ifthat's the question that you're
asking, is that they keep peopleon the platform and so they
(37:05):
don't go to YouTube or Instagramor whatever.
But if you're asking how theyget paid, There's a TikTok
creator fund where to beeligible for that, you have to
have at least 10,000 followers,at least 100,000 video views in
the past month.
You have to be 18 or older, andyou have to have original
high-quality content, right?
That's directly from the TikTokthing.
(37:25):
And then they get paid based onviews, engagement, and their
region.
Interestingly, the pay rate isreportedly low, often around 2
to 4 cents per 1,000 views.
SPEAKER_00 (37:36):
Oh, wow.
That is low.
SPEAKER_02 (37:38):
But then...
If you're on live and peopleheart or diamond, I guess, your
live feed, then you get paidextra for that.
You get paid if you have a brandsponsorship or partnership.
You get paid for selling merch.
Listen, it's a big racket is allI'm trying to say here.
(38:00):
And it's very complicated andpeople are doing it and making
money.
SPEAKER_00 (38:04):
So like I said, revenue.
SPEAKER_02 (38:05):
Yes, you said it.
I guess if you're explaining itto a kindergartner, you'd say
they get money.
Everyone gets money.
TikTok certainly is gettingmoney.
Here's the thing.
If you're on a social media siteand it's free, then you are the
product.
Yep.
So that means that the reasonwhy TikTokers get paid is
(38:27):
because schmucks like me go onand they watch the shit.
That's why people get paid.
Jeff goes on, he needs to knowwho named Winthrop's soccer team
and why it's Wolves and notWolves.
SPEAKER_00 (38:40):
Jeff, I have so many questions and I'm not happy
about it.
Yes, he
SPEAKER_02 (38:45):
agrees.
He says, no wonder EducationAmerica is circling the toilet
bowl.
Yes, not because of that, butthat's certainly a sign that.
SPEAKER_00 (38:52):
Well, and I will say that the coach this week was
saying Wolves, plural.
and not wolf's possessivewithout the high comma, without
the apostrophe.
And so I didn't correct him thathe was being incorrect about the
grammatically incorrect name.
So at least the coach knows howto pluralize the word wolf.
But I don't know.
(39:13):
There is now, though, a moviewith its Brad Pitt and George
Clooney, I believe, calledWolf's.
So maybe it's an homage.
SPEAKER_02 (39:22):
Or product placement.
Someone's making money.
Who knows?
We did talk about asparagus.
So he said, concerning asparagusin scent or taste in bodily
fluids, urine is not the onlybodily fluid you can taste
asparagus in.
SPEAKER_00 (39:34):
Oh, thank you.
All done.
SPEAKER_02 (39:38):
He also says pineapple can be quite
noticeable.
James Buchanan is the only U.S.
president bachelor, he tells us,because we did talk about that.
He vowed never to marry after amisunderstanding with his
fiancee, which caused her totake her life.
SPEAKER_00 (39:53):
Oh, no.
Oh, that's
SPEAKER_02 (39:56):
sad.
His niece, Harriet Lane, servedas his acting first lady and is
actually considered to be thefirst of the modern first
ladies.
Oh.
There are several ships andyachts named in her honor.
Interesting.
He says the U.S.
Coast Guard cutter Harriet Lanewas involved in the 1996 search
recovery of TW Flight 800 offLong Island in 2010.
(40:17):
She was involved in the responseefforts of the Deepwater Horizon
oil rig explosion.
And this past June, she embarkedon a 68-day training mission to
the South.
Jeff, how do you know thisstuff?
That is amazing.
Harriet Lane, the person,enjoyed a friendship with Queen
Victoria and actually Queen Victried to get her married off to
(40:38):
an Englishman so she wouldalways be in England.
What would that be like if thefirst lady of the United States
got married to someone inEngland?
That would be a heck of a thingto watch on the crown.
SPEAKER_00 (40:52):
Didn't we do that with Meghan Markle and Harry?
SPEAKER_02 (40:54):
I try not to dip my toe into the Meghan Markle and
Harry puddle there.
He says, LOL.
Yes, Josh.
A pearl necklace is quitedifferent than a pearl earring.
Yes, I know.
He did.
He did check out the website orthe Instagram page that I
suggested called Only in Dade.
Hilarious.
(41:14):
He says, I think my twofavorites were the man that
shaved a six pack onto his bellyhair and the chicken in the baby
stroller at the big box store.
SPEAKER_00 (41:22):
Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_02 (41:23):
Welcome to my childhood, friend.
Oh,
SPEAKER_00 (41:25):
wow.
I mean, I've seen the six-packin the belly hair.
I've seen that, but I've notseen the chicken in the baby
stroller.
Like around here, we have thedogs and the cats in the baby
stroller, but I've not seen thechicken.
SPEAKER_02 (41:36):
Well, in Miami, if you see a chicken in the baby
stroller and you see that thepeople are taking care of the
chicken...
so well.
The assumption isn't that theyare fattening it up for, you
know, Sunday roast.
The assumption is this is thechicken that they're eventually
going to sacrifice to Django.
So...
Then there's that.
SPEAKER_00 (41:56):
Okay, that's now, we've gotten really dark during
Jeff's letter.
SPEAKER_02 (41:59):
Yes, so he closes by talking about how he is
recuperating from last nightafter they left the Ripcord,
where I was still getting shotsfor free of Jameson whiskey for
his birthday.
We went to George, the gay bardirectly beside the Ripcord,
obviously owned and named aftermy friend, Frank.
(42:20):
No, George.
It was slam-packed, and I wasmore than a little occupied.
There was a national meetingthis weekend in Houston for the
National Gay Softball Leaguebecause the World Series of Gay
Softball, yes, that's a realthing, will be in Houston this
year in September.
As a result of the meeting, eachleague participating from around
(42:41):
the country has sent at leasttwo guys from their teams.
Ya boy had a really good timelast night and will probably
enjoy it all over again tonight.
So he says, that's all for thisweek.
I hope that things are well andI'll let you know if I find a
part-time husband or at least aMr.
Right now.
SPEAKER_00 (43:00):
Okay, but so Jeff sent this letter yesterday and I
got no pictures last night,Jeffrey.
SPEAKER_02 (43:04):
He's probably still asleep.
SPEAKER_00 (43:06):
No, I mean, usually he sends them from the events.
SPEAKER_02 (43:10):
I don't want a picture that are happening
during certain events.
SPEAKER_00 (43:13):
No, no, no.
It's usually just of the drinksthat he's getting for free at
the ripcord.
SPEAKER_02 (43:17):
All right, so thanks, Jeff.
We'll talk to you soon, bud.
SPEAKER_00 (43:20):
Have fun.
No one likes to be told what todo.
SPEAKER_02 (43:24):
And now is the time of the program where we tell you
what to do.
Amanda, what should we do?
SPEAKER_00 (43:28):
I have recommended this before, but I'm going to
circle back in light of theconversation about separate TV
shows.
I am going to recommendShrinking on Apple TV if you
have it.
Jason Segel, Harrison Ford.
I tried to recommend it about ayear ago, and Josh was not
interested in watching it.
Kay our friend from F My WorkLife wrote in and said Josh you
(43:50):
gotta try shrinking so I wouldlike to report that Josh is now
five episodes in of shrinkingwith me I think that Brett
Goldstein connection BrettGoldstein you'll know is Roy
Kent from Ted Lasso who's anexec producer and is in the
second season I've been holdingoff on the second season waiting
for Josh to catch up with me butI think we might maybe have
(44:11):
found a show that he will watchwith me even even though it
makes him uncomfortable.
So I'm gonna say go watchShrinking.
SPEAKER_02 (44:21):
My input on this show is that it's an enjoyable
watch.
There are rarely real stakes.
And what I mean by that is thepeople are therapists, right?
So they're talking about reallyheavy things like grief and
family struggles.
(44:42):
And so the problem is, is thatno one's feelings truly ever get
hurt for more than five minutes.
No one is truly angry for morethan 10 minutes.
And so it's-
SPEAKER_00 (44:54):
That's the problem for you?
SPEAKER_02 (44:56):
It is because it's too pat.
Now, it's written very well.
My only other annoyance with itsometimes is that all the
characters are at 11 of theircharacter type at all times.
And there is no place on thisplanet even amongst a bunch of
therapists, where the peopletalk this much all the time.
(45:21):
Now having said that, I'm verymuch enjoying Harrison Ford in
it.
exceptional actor and he's funto watch and he does all the
little things of acting thatmake his character very
compelling and I'm enjoying therepartee just knowing that these
conversations are interestingartistic constructs that would
never happen in real life
SPEAKER_00 (45:42):
it's escapism then
SPEAKER_02 (45:44):
okay sure
SPEAKER_00 (45:44):
in a way of now it has brought up some
conversations about griefbecause as we know I have tons
of unprocessed grief and so ithas brought up some
conversations between us aboutgrief so therefore I do think
that even though it is as it cancause you to think more deeply
about things that maybe youshould be processing.
SPEAKER_02 (46:02):
Sure.
SPEAKER_00 (46:03):
Okay, fine.
Go watch Shrinking if youhaven't.
And don't talk to me about thenew season because I know it
came out a while ago.
I'm just waiting on Josh tocatch up.
SPEAKER_02 (46:17):
Okay.
All right, Amanda, that's allthere is.
There is no more.
What'd you think about thatmess?
SPEAKER_00 (46:21):
I enjoyed that and I am ready to go get my corset on
and head down to the MedievalFair.
And actually what I'm justreally excited about is the food
because I am doing thisintermittent fasting, but you
better believe during my windowfrom 11...
30 to 6 tonight.
I'm going to eat me some friedfood from the medieval fair.
SPEAKER_02 (46:42):
It's funny that you say that, but you also say
you're going to put on a corsetbecause that's your prophylactic
against filling up too
SPEAKER_00 (46:49):
much.
Yeah, I don't own a corset.
That was a joke.
SPEAKER_02 (46:51):
All right.
Well, we can buy one there.
SPEAKER_00 (46:53):
No.
SPEAKER_02 (46:55):
Interesting things that are on the horizon for us.
We are going to interview aCapoeira master called Samurai.
SPEAKER_00 (47:03):
Just to let that
SPEAKER_02 (47:05):
sit.
SPEAKER_00 (47:06):
Samurai's a really nice guy.
So maybe I'll save my Samuraistory for when Samurai's on
SPEAKER_02 (47:13):
the show.
Yeah, yeah.
He'll enjoy that.
We'll also have an update fromChicken Tom, who texted me
yesterday telling me about thisfire on his property that he had
to call 911 for.
SPEAKER_01 (47:23):
Yeah.
So we'll talk
SPEAKER_02 (47:24):
to Chicken Tom.
Also going to catch back up withChris Barron, see how he's
doing.
Spin Doctors are going torelease a new album in April.
And so we'll get him on to chatabout that.
and all other things as well.
But in the meantime, be lookingfor the new budding performance
poetry artist on the scene.
And yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (47:45):
At a local coffee shop near you.
SPEAKER_02 (47:48):
At a local and lots of snapping.
This is what we do in the scenenow.
If we like something, we don'tclap.
We just...
We snap.
So there you go, folks.
So until next week, y'all keepsmiling.
I know sometimes that's not easyin this world of ours.
But, you know, what else are yougoing to do?
Smile.
Your smile will maybe helpsomeone next to you feel better.
(48:11):
And then all of a sudden we livein a perfect world because
everyone started smiling.
There you
SPEAKER_00 (48:15):
go.
All right.
Go be kind.
Bye.
UNKNOWN (48:18):
Bye.
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