#185 Engaging with our stuff: why we keep things but don’t use them, with Dr Jan Eppingstall

• Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket
• Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe
• Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ 

In this episode, I’m with Dr Jan Eppingstall, a Melbourne-based counsellor and hoarding expert extraordinaire. We unpack the concept of engaging with our belongings - actually seeing, touching, and using the things we tend to accumulate, rather than letting them fade into the background. Jan shares insights from her work, explains why we often feel safer just owning stuff instead of interacting with it, and offers practical ways to build a healthier, more intentional relationship with what we own. There are some genuinely enlightening moments, and plenty of ideas for anyone looking to break free from an excess of stuff.

• Defining "Engaging with Our Stuff"
• What it means to actually engage with possessions (seeing, touching, using)
• Comparison to possessions fading into the background
• The idea of using versus just possessing objects
• Patterns of Engagement Among People Who Hoard
• Sense of safety from being surrounded by possessions without interaction
• Only the "top layer" of possessions typically being used
• Loss of intention behind keeping sentimental or useful items
• The psychological comfort of having versus using objects
• Emotional and Psychological Aspects of Compulsive Hoarding
• Emotional connection to the potential of objects rather than actual objects
• Avoidance of decision-making by not engaging/touching items
• Security and reassurance derived from the mere presence of items
• Defeatism and pointlessness associated with searching for or using objects
• Barriers to Engaging with Possessions
• Overwhelm from the sheer volume of stuff
• Active resistance and avoidance behaviours
• Feelings of incompetence and adaptation through purchasing duplicates
• Guilt associated with over-accumulation
• Benefits of Actively Engaging with Possessions
• Rediscovering useful or wanted items when sorting
• Increased awareness of what is owned and where it is
• Neurological and psychological benefits of tactile interaction
• Insights gained from using and trying on items (e.g., clothing)
• Decision-making as a muscle that strengthens with practice
• Realisations about unnecessary duplicates (e.g., multiple ladles in the kitchen)
• Emotional and practical hurdles in finding homes for items
• Perfectionism and rigidity around item placement and organisation
• Moving, Arranging, and Re-organising Possessions
• Resistance to moving items from "their place" due to tradition, attachment, or perfectionism
• Fear of forgetting where things are if organisational changes are made
• Multi-step decision fatigue when organising
• The importance of flexible, evolving systems for item placement
• Confronting Avoidance and Overwhelm
• The value of small steps, e.g., simply looking into an avoided bag or space
• The myth of a “good reason” for keeping certain items, often dispelled when items are revisited
• Developing Healthier, More Intentional Relationships with Stuff
• Introducing intention and ritual to everyday interactions with possessions
• “Rotation stations” and seasonal evaluation/rituals
• Benefits of conscious handling, organisation, and maintenance
• Cultural Perspectives and Practices
• Japanese concepts:
• Te Ate: hand-care, tacti