October 7, 2025 • 16 mins
Full Shownotes Here: https://linkly.link/2G5ih
Ever spiral after a client leaves you on “read,” someone unfollows you, or a post flops? That gut-punch feeling isn’t just being “too sensitive.” It’s Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) ... a neurological response that hits ADHD entrepreneurs hard.
In this episode, Alyece breaks down how RSD shows up in business, why your brain reacts like it’s under attack, and how to build practical systems to keep your business moving even when your emotions flare up. 💥
Takeaways
- RSD is a neurological response, not just emotional sensitivity.
- ADHD entrepreneurs often struggle with perceived rejection.
- Criticism can feel like a personal attack due to RSD.
- It's essential to differentiate between fact and feeling.
- Not all feedback is constructive or useful.
- Building systems can help manage RSD effectively.
- Visibility in business can increase fear of criticism.
- Creating a support network is crucial for handling feedback.
- Embracing sensitivity can enhance business success.
- Implementing strategies gradually prevents overwhelm.
Sound Bites
"You can learn how to work with it."
"Criticism isn't the same as rejection."
"Not all feedback is useful."
Resources/Links Mentioned:
ADHDpreneur Academy
Build RSD-proof business systems and reduce emotional overwhelm in entrepreneurship.
https://sociallyausome.com/academyFocused & Free MembershipSeparate facts from feelings and get structured accountability with ADHD-focused coaching.
https://sociallyausome.com/membershipUnmasked CommunityConnect with others managing RSD and ADHD for peer support and feedback filtering.
https://sociallyausome.com/unmaskedGrowth Game Plan Sessions1-on-1 strategy calls for filtering business decisions through your values, not RSD.
https://sociallyausome.com/business-growth-auditFlow First Book – WaitlistA complete framework for ADHD-friendly, RSD-aware business design.
https://sociallyausome.com/books/flowfirstThe Secret PodcastExclusive episodes with unfiltered strategies for managing RSD and business growth.
https://sociallyausome.com/secret-podcast---sept-25Instagram – @socially.ausomeShare your takeaways, tag the host, and join the ADHD entrepreneur community.
https://instagram.com/socially.ausome
Keywords
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, ADHD, entrepreneurship, emotional sensitivity, criticism management, business strategies, mental health, emotional resilience, feedback, support systems
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
All right, let's talk. Client leaves you on red after
you sent a proposal or after youtell them your price, right?
You sent them the link your brain immediately goes to.
They hate it. I'm terrible at this, I should
just quit, they don't want to pay this much.
Or someone unfollows you on Instagram and your day is
completely ruined. Customer leaves a three star
review instead of five stars andyou spend the next three hours
(00:22):
spiraling about every single thing you did wrong.
If this sounds like you OK, you're dealing with rejection
sensitivia, dysphoria, and it's not just being sensitive or
taking things personally. It's a neurological response
that feels like emotional whiplash.
So the good news is you can learn how to work with it
instead of letting it derail your entire business.
(00:44):
That is exactly what we are diving into today.
Yo-yo, yo with the least say it right.
No cap. ADHDCEO.
Yeah, we run this track systems that slap brains built
(01:05):
different. We make sales in our sleep.
Yeah, the hustle's efficient. This ain't fluff.
Nah, this is strategy raw for the ADHD minds breaking.
Never your law hit subscribe. Don't miss a single show.
We're running non dopamine. Let's go.
Let's go, let's go. All right, let me guess what
happened to you last time you got criticism or got some kind
(01:28):
of rejection in your business. Someone didn't respond to your
e-mail right away and you convinced yourself they thought
you were annoying, right? A post didn't get as much
engagement as usual and you questioned your entire content
strategy. Or a client asked to reschedule
and you assumed they were tryingto ghost you.
The worst part is logically you know you were probably
overreacting, but emotionally itfeels like proof you are failing
(01:51):
that you're not cut out for thisor that everyone secretly thinks
you're a fraud of some sort. This is called rejection
sensitive dysphoria in action, OK?
And it's an extreme emotional sensitivity to perceived
rejection or criticism that manyADHD people, especially ADHD
entrepreneurs, because you're insome sort of sales experience
(02:14):
and it doesn't just hurt your feelings, it sabotages your
business decisions. You avoid following up with
leads because you don't want to seem pushy, or you don't raise
your prices because you are terrified someone will say no.
And you second guess every single business decision because
what if people judge you? RSD makes every piece of
feedback feel like a personal attack.
And you probably experienced this a lot as a child as well.
(02:37):
And you were probably told you're too emotional or you're
just too much to handle. And so we kind of start to
believe those inner thoughts even as a kid.
But every neutral interaction feels like rejection and every
business risk feels like you're setting yourself up for public
humiliation. This is often why ADHD people
really struggle to have good connections, good relationships
(03:00):
or deep friendships. Maybe especially as a child, you
feel like, you know, everyone's against you or maybe you feel
left out, not part of the group.And a lot of times, it's just
because the way we respond with RSD, other people see us as, Oh
my gosh, dramatic or emotional, way too emotional.
They don't want to handle. And so I really want to talk
about, you know, the stories RSDtells you about yourself and
(03:22):
your business. So one thing I see a lot in
entrepreneurs with ADHD is the story of like, when everyone's
judging me. So you have this belief with
your RSD that your brain is constantly scanning for like
signs of rejection or disapproval.
A client's taking two hours to respond.
They must be mad someone didn't like your post.
Everyone thinks you're terrible.Your brain treats every one of
(03:43):
these as potential rejection. And because you were hyper
vigilant for criticism, you findit everywhere, even when it
doesn't really exist. And that's exactly why inside
PhD Prayer Academy, you know, wework on recognizing the
difference between actual feedback and RSD fueled like
catastrophes that you're making up in your head because you
(04:04):
can't build a business when you're constantly defending
yourself from these imaginary attacks.
And you're not crazy. I'm not calling you crazy.
They have done this myself. That's how I'm able to talk
about this. But especially when you're
building an online business, you're going to have those
keyboard warriors, right? Or those haters.
And so we often take those extremely personal, extra
personal, like 2 personal. The the next story that I see a
(04:25):
lot from ADHD entrepreneurs thatthey're telling themselves is
that I can't handle criticism trap.
So the thing with RSD, it doesn't want you to know that
criticism isn't the same as reduction.
But when you have RSD, we often feel like they're identical.
And so I've had a client before that came to me and she had sent
an invoice and someone asked her, responded to that invoice
(04:47):
and said, can we adjust this? And she felt like they were
telling her, you were terrible and I hate you.
Like that is what her brain was telling her because her brain
didn't see the difference between constructive feedback or
a personal attack. And so we end up avoiding these
situations where you might receive criticism.
Like you don't ask for testimonials because what if
someone says something negative or maybe you don't want
(05:08):
something because what if peopledon't like it?
But we often struggle to see fact versus fiction of what
we're telling ourselves inside our head.
So we end up avoiding these situations where we might
receive that. And that's why I created the
focus in free membership becausewe practice, you know, those
feelings from facts and have that daily accountability.
So inside my membership, we do daily trainings.
(05:29):
And part of that is just to keepyou in momentum because with
RSD, it's very easy for us to shut down and our executive
dysfunction take over because wehave felt rejected so much.
We just completely shut the business down.
And then this is something I seewith like the emotional
intensity of RSD. It doesn't mean the criticism is
true that you're failing. It's just how we feel.
(05:51):
And your feels are feelings are valid.
OK? I'm not here to devalidate your
feelings, but you do have to understand your brain enough to
be able to separate them. And then the next story that I
hear very often my clients tell them themselves is like one
negative cancels out everything positive.
And I see this actually a lot, my daughter as well.
Looking back, I probably did this a lot as a kid, but I could
(06:14):
have 99 happy clients. But if one person is
disappointed, my brain will fixate on that one person.
You could get 50 positive comments and that one critical
one, that's all you remember. So this is Rs DS like specialty
of making one piece of negative feedback feel more real and
important than everything positive.
And it's not rational, but it ishow our brain processes, you
(06:38):
know, perceived rejection. And so I really want to talk
about, you know, a little bit here of what the business world
teaches us about criticism and rejection That really does make
our RSD work. You've probably been told by,
you know, maybe a mentor in the past or even a family member,
like get that thick skin. Everyone says you need thick
skin for business and don't takeit personally or learn how to
handle that criticism. If you can't handle the heat,
(06:59):
get out the kitchen kind of thing.
But what they don't tell you is RSD isn't about being too
sensitive or needing to toughen up.
It is a neurological response. And so telling someone with RSD
to just not take it personally is like telling someone with
ADHD just to focus harder. It's not that you need thicker
skin. You need strategies that work
with with your nervous system, not against it.
And you need to be able to recognize when it's your nervous
(07:22):
system telling you the wrong thing or your brain telling you
the wrong thing versus actual constructive feedback.
You might have also been told the customer is always right.
This is a hard one, OK, Because I'm actually like, I do it
through this whole process when I was in corporate of becoming a
customer experience officer and it was really about the customer
relationship and their life cycle.
And you know how to make price irrelevant based on providing
(07:45):
like, exceptional customer service.
But business culture tells us tobend over backwards for every
customer, to take all the feedback as gospel, and to,
like, constantly improve based on that criticism.
And when you have RSD, this is like a recipe for disaster
because you'll twist yourself into knots trying to please
everyone and still feel like you're failing.
So not all feedback is useful. Not all criticism is accurate.
(08:08):
Not everyone's opinion should very equal weight in your
business. This is something that we deep
dive into a lot, especially during growth game plan
sessions. So if you've never actually
checked those out, you can find the information in the show
notes as well. But I do offer what's called a
growth game plan where I completely audit your business
top to bottom and give you that feedback and that learning to
(08:29):
filter that feedback through your values, not just your RSD.
So definitely check the show notes for deets on that.
But it's very eye opening for most entrepreneurs.
And then, you know, the visibility means vulnerability,
fear. So we often have this.
The more you're visible, the more criticism you'll receive.
And that's just math. But for ADHD entrepreneurs with
RSD, this can make marketing feel absolutely terrifying.
(08:52):
And so you'll play small. You don't post consistently, you
don't pitch yourself for opportunities.
You kind of stay hidden because it feels safer.
But playing small doesn't protect you from RSD.
It limits the business growth while you're still experiencing
the same emotional intensity over the smallest things.
And so the breakthrough moment for me was really realizing that
RSD isn't about criticism. It's about how my nervous system
(09:14):
processes the feedback, the input.
And I can't control whether someone will criticize me or
not. I can't control whether a client
will be happy with the post or slip out or a postal flop.
I can't control how I respond toit with my RSD as triggered go.
And the truth here is that criticism and rejection are
inevitable in your business. Once I stopped trying to avoid
(09:35):
all the criticism and started building systems to handle it
when it shows up, everything really changed for me.
But spiraling 3 days after everypiece of feedback is optional.
You don't have to do that. You don't need to eliminate RSD
to have a successful business, but you do need to learn to work
with it. And again, that's exactly what I
teach inside my ADHD Premier Academy, how to build those
dopamine friendly systems and understanding that RSD is going
(09:58):
to be part of that. So I'm going to teach you really
quickly how to handle criticism without spiraling when you do
have RSD. OK, small framework here.
The 24 hour rule #1 when you receive criticism or perceived
rejection, you have 24 hours before you're allowed to respond
to it or make any business decisions based on it.
So if you were triggered by something, some sort of
(10:19):
emotional flood, whether it be acomment, an e-mail from a
client, I want you to wait 24 hours, OK?
The intensity will usually decrease enough that you can
evaluate whether that criticism is actually valid or if it's
your RSD trying to talk to you. Once you get that critical
feedback, write it out, OK, Whether you are a pen and paper
(10:39):
person, Google Doc person, whatever, Don't send it.
Don't send a response. Wait 24 hours and then decide if
that criticism is actionable or if it was, you know, RSD
amplifying it. Strategy #2 fact versus feeling.
So it really makes us feel like that rejection is a fact and you
need a system to separate them. So when criticism hits, you ask
(11:00):
yourself, what are the actual facts?
Client asks for a revision. Client thinks I'm terrible and
regrets hiring me? That's probably a feeling.
OK, they want to revision. That's a fact.
This is one of those core frameworks that you need to use
in your business because most ofthe story RSD tells you lives in
the feeling category. It's not a fact category and you
can't make good business decisions based on RSD generated
(11:23):
stories in your head. So create you a 2 column
document and on the left facts, on the right stories.
You'll be surprised how little of your spiral is based on
actual facts and strategy #3 thepre decision response plan.
OK, don't wait until your RSD istriggered to figure out how
you're going to handle that criticism.
Do it now. So for example, when someone
(11:44):
leaves, you know a negative comment, Write out your process
for that Now. I'm going to wait 24 hours,
respond professionally, close mylaptop, go for a walk.
When a client asks for revisions, I'm going to remind
myself this is normal. Review the feedback objectively
and respond with the timeline. But having some of these pre
decided responses removes the need to make decisions while
(12:05):
emotionally flooded. It's like having a business
continuity plan for your nervoussystem.
So write out your response plan right now.
Go ahead, write 3 common RSD triggers in your business and
keep it somewhere you can reference when you're triggered.
Strategy #4 the trust filter system.
So you can't always trust your own perception of criticism when
RSD is activated. So don't try to process it
(12:26):
alone. When you get that feedback, that
critical feedback, send it to someone.
Find 2 to 3 trusted people. This is one of the reasons like
focused and free membership exists, but send it to them and
say, is this as bad as it feels?9 times out of 10, they'll help
you see the feedback was either neutral, constructive or not
even about you. And again, that's why my
membership is so important. And even the Academy, because
(12:49):
students very often will send negative comments in there and
say, how would you respond to this?
Or you know, do you believe thistoo?
And having a trust filter, a person or two or three give you
that feedback, that reality check really helps bring you
back to a better place. Strategy #5 is the evidence
list. So RSD really wants you to
believe that one criticism meansyou're failing.
(13:10):
You need concrete evidence to counter that story.
So keep a running document of every positive piece of feedback
ever get you a Google Doc. Screenshot positive comments.
Screenshot positive testimonials.
Drop them in there. But when RSD tries to convince
you that everyone hates your work, pull.
Pull it out. Read through them.
This isn't toxic productivity, this is giving your brain
(13:31):
accurate data instead of lettingyour RSD cherry pick only
negative stuff for you. So go ahead and start your
Google doc, your wins folder, your wins list, and reference
back to that. Couple more practical
implementation tips for social media.
Turn off notifications. OK Check engagement on your
schedule, not in real time. It's very easy to go back if I
(13:51):
say OK I'm going to check my TikTok comments every day at
2:00. If they left that comment
yesterday, today, pay it two, I'm probably in a better place
to read it that, but it's not unfollows aren't unusual, OK,
They're about that person's feedcuration.
They're not about you client feedback.
Build a revisions round and yourcontracts.
If you were a a service provideror even like a coach and use
(14:13):
templates for responding to these.
OK for price rejections, remind yourself that no, no often means
not right now or not the right fit.
Or, you know, maybe it's just not for them.
Maybe they're not the client foryou, but no, does not that mean
you're not valuable? And then visibility.
This is definitely something I see a lot in my membership, but
start with smaller platforms, private communities before
(14:35):
trying to create this massive following.
Build your confidence and low stake environments first.
And we talked a lot about this. I give a lot of tips for this
and unmask my free Telegram community.
So definitely jump in there. And if you're not already on the
wait list for Flow First Thinking, my book coming out
later this year, I would also jump in there because I am
(14:56):
talking a lot about these practical implementation tips in
that book itself. So I want you to hear this
today. Having RSD doesn't mean you
can't build a successful business.
It just means you need differentstrategies than maybe a
neurotypical entrepreneur. And you don't need to eliminate
your sensitivity. You need systems to protect you
when it's triggered. And the beautiful thing is, once
(15:17):
you learn how to work with your RSD instead of fighting it,
you'll actually become better atreceiving feedback than most
entrepreneurs because you've built the systems that they
never needed to develop. So before you go, pick one
strategy from this episode. Just one.
Don't try to implement all 5 at one time.
And that is going to be your setup for overwhelm.
If this episode really helps youunderstand your RSD better,
(15:39):
share it with another ADHD entrepreneur who's been
spiraling over that criticism. Take a screenshot of you
listening to this. Throw out your stories.
Tag me at socially dot. Awesome.
You know, we need to normalize that this is a real neurological
experience, not a character flash.
And of course, if you're ready for support and building RSD
proof business systems, dopaminedriven systems, ADHD, you know,
(16:00):
proof ADHD Preneur Academy is now open again.
I have more spots in there. And then the membership of
course, is always open. But your sensitivity is part of
what makes you great at what youdo.
You just need to learn how to manage it so it doesn't manage
you. And until next time, make it
simple, make it social, make it awesome.
All right, let's talk. Client leaves you on red after
you sent a proposal or after youtell them your price, right?
You sent them the link your brain immediately goes to.
They hate it. I'm terrible at this, I should
just quit, they don't want to pay this much.
Or someone unfollows you on Instagram and your day is
completely ruined. Customer leaves a three star
review instead of five stars andyou spend the next three hours
(00:22):
spiraling about every single thing you did wrong.
If this sounds like you OK, you're dealing with rejection
sensitivia, dysphoria, and it's not just being sensitive or
taking things personally. It's a neurological response
that feels like emotional whiplash.
So the good news is you can learn how to work with it
instead of letting it derail your entire business.
(00:44):
That is exactly what we are diving into today.
Yo-yo, yo with the least say it right.
No cap. ADHDCEO.
Yeah, we run this track systems that slap brains built
(01:05):
different. We make sales in our sleep.
Yeah, the hustle's efficient. This ain't fluff.
Nah, this is strategy raw for the ADHD minds breaking.
Never your law hit subscribe. Don't miss a single show.
We're running non dopamine. Let's go.
Let's go, let's go. All right, let me guess what
happened to you last time you got criticism or got some kind
(01:28):
of rejection in your business. Someone didn't respond to your
e-mail right away and you convinced yourself they thought
you were annoying, right? A post didn't get as much
engagement as usual and you questioned your entire content
strategy. Or a client asked to reschedule
and you assumed they were tryingto ghost you.
The worst part is logically you know you were probably
overreacting, but emotionally itfeels like proof you are failing
(01:51):
that you're not cut out for thisor that everyone secretly thinks
you're a fraud of some sort. This is called rejection
sensitive dysphoria in action, OK?
And it's an extreme emotional sensitivity to perceived
rejection or criticism that manyADHD people, especially ADHD
entrepreneurs, because you're insome sort of sales experience
(02:14):
and it doesn't just hurt your feelings, it sabotages your
business decisions. You avoid following up with
leads because you don't want to seem pushy, or you don't raise
your prices because you are terrified someone will say no.
And you second guess every single business decision because
what if people judge you? RSD makes every piece of
feedback feel like a personal attack.
And you probably experienced this a lot as a child as well.
(02:37):
And you were probably told you're too emotional or you're
just too much to handle. And so we kind of start to
believe those inner thoughts even as a kid.
But every neutral interaction feels like rejection and every
business risk feels like you're setting yourself up for public
humiliation. This is often why ADHD people
really struggle to have good connections, good relationships
(03:00):
or deep friendships. Maybe especially as a child, you
feel like, you know, everyone's against you or maybe you feel
left out, not part of the group.And a lot of times, it's just
because the way we respond with RSD, other people see us as, Oh
my gosh, dramatic or emotional, way too emotional.
They don't want to handle. And so I really want to talk
about, you know, the stories RSDtells you about yourself and
(03:22):
your business. So one thing I see a lot in
entrepreneurs with ADHD is the story of like, when everyone's
judging me. So you have this belief with
your RSD that your brain is constantly scanning for like
signs of rejection or disapproval.
A client's taking two hours to respond.
They must be mad someone didn't like your post.
Everyone thinks you're terrible.Your brain treats every one of
(03:43):
these as potential rejection. And because you were hyper
vigilant for criticism, you findit everywhere, even when it
doesn't really exist. And that's exactly why inside
PhD Prayer Academy, you know, wework on recognizing the
difference between actual feedback and RSD fueled like
catastrophes that you're making up in your head because you
(04:04):
can't build a business when you're constantly defending
yourself from these imaginary attacks.
And you're not crazy. I'm not calling you crazy.
They have done this myself. That's how I'm able to talk
about this. But especially when you're
building an online business, you're going to have those
keyboard warriors, right? Or those haters.
And so we often take those extremely personal, extra
personal, like 2 personal. The the next story that I see a
(04:25):
lot from ADHD entrepreneurs thatthey're telling themselves is
that I can't handle criticism trap.
So the thing with RSD, it doesn't want you to know that
criticism isn't the same as reduction.
But when you have RSD, we often feel like they're identical.
And so I've had a client before that came to me and she had sent
an invoice and someone asked her, responded to that invoice
(04:47):
and said, can we adjust this? And she felt like they were
telling her, you were terrible and I hate you.
Like that is what her brain was telling her because her brain
didn't see the difference between constructive feedback or
a personal attack. And so we end up avoiding these
situations where you might receive criticism.
Like you don't ask for testimonials because what if
someone says something negative or maybe you don't want
(05:08):
something because what if peopledon't like it?
But we often struggle to see fact versus fiction of what
we're telling ourselves inside our head.
So we end up avoiding these situations where we might
receive that. And that's why I created the
focus in free membership becausewe practice, you know, those
feelings from facts and have that daily accountability.
So inside my membership, we do daily trainings.
(05:29):
And part of that is just to keepyou in momentum because with
RSD, it's very easy for us to shut down and our executive
dysfunction take over because wehave felt rejected so much.
We just completely shut the business down.
And then this is something I seewith like the emotional
intensity of RSD. It doesn't mean the criticism is
true that you're failing. It's just how we feel.
(05:51):
And your feels are feelings are valid.
OK? I'm not here to devalidate your
feelings, but you do have to understand your brain enough to
be able to separate them. And then the next story that I
hear very often my clients tell them themselves is like one
negative cancels out everything positive.
And I see this actually a lot, my daughter as well.
Looking back, I probably did this a lot as a kid, but I could
(06:14):
have 99 happy clients. But if one person is
disappointed, my brain will fixate on that one person.
You could get 50 positive comments and that one critical
one, that's all you remember. So this is Rs DS like specialty
of making one piece of negative feedback feel more real and
important than everything positive.
And it's not rational, but it ishow our brain processes, you
(06:38):
know, perceived rejection. And so I really want to talk
about, you know, a little bit here of what the business world
teaches us about criticism and rejection That really does make
our RSD work. You've probably been told by,
you know, maybe a mentor in the past or even a family member,
like get that thick skin. Everyone says you need thick
skin for business and don't takeit personally or learn how to
handle that criticism. If you can't handle the heat,
(06:59):
get out the kitchen kind of thing.
But what they don't tell you is RSD isn't about being too
sensitive or needing to toughen up.
It is a neurological response. And so telling someone with RSD
to just not take it personally is like telling someone with
ADHD just to focus harder. It's not that you need thicker
skin. You need strategies that work
with with your nervous system, not against it.
And you need to be able to recognize when it's your nervous
(07:22):
system telling you the wrong thing or your brain telling you
the wrong thing versus actual constructive feedback.
You might have also been told the customer is always right.
This is a hard one, OK, Because I'm actually like, I do it
through this whole process when I was in corporate of becoming a
customer experience officer and it was really about the customer
relationship and their life cycle.
And you know how to make price irrelevant based on providing
(07:45):
like, exceptional customer service.
But business culture tells us tobend over backwards for every
customer, to take all the feedback as gospel, and to,
like, constantly improve based on that criticism.
And when you have RSD, this is like a recipe for disaster
because you'll twist yourself into knots trying to please
everyone and still feel like you're failing.
So not all feedback is useful. Not all criticism is accurate.
(08:08):
Not everyone's opinion should very equal weight in your
business. This is something that we deep
dive into a lot, especially during growth game plan
sessions. So if you've never actually
checked those out, you can find the information in the show
notes as well. But I do offer what's called a
growth game plan where I completely audit your business
top to bottom and give you that feedback and that learning to
(08:29):
filter that feedback through your values, not just your RSD.
So definitely check the show notes for deets on that.
But it's very eye opening for most entrepreneurs.
And then, you know, the visibility means vulnerability,
fear. So we often have this.
The more you're visible, the more criticism you'll receive.
And that's just math. But for ADHD entrepreneurs with
RSD, this can make marketing feel absolutely terrifying.
(08:52):
And so you'll play small. You don't post consistently, you
don't pitch yourself for opportunities.
You kind of stay hidden because it feels safer.
But playing small doesn't protect you from RSD.
It limits the business growth while you're still experiencing
the same emotional intensity over the smallest things.
And so the breakthrough moment for me was really realizing that
RSD isn't about criticism. It's about how my nervous system
(09:14):
processes the feedback, the input.
And I can't control whether someone will criticize me or
not. I can't control whether a client
will be happy with the post or slip out or a postal flop.
I can't control how I respond toit with my RSD as triggered go.
And the truth here is that criticism and rejection are
inevitable in your business. Once I stopped trying to avoid
(09:35):
all the criticism and started building systems to handle it
when it shows up, everything really changed for me.
But spiraling 3 days after everypiece of feedback is optional.
You don't have to do that. You don't need to eliminate RSD
to have a successful business, but you do need to learn to work
with it. And again, that's exactly what I
teach inside my ADHD Premier Academy, how to build those
dopamine friendly systems and understanding that RSD is going
(09:58):
to be part of that. So I'm going to teach you really
quickly how to handle criticism without spiraling when you do
have RSD. OK, small framework here.
The 24 hour rule #1 when you receive criticism or perceived
rejection, you have 24 hours before you're allowed to respond
to it or make any business decisions based on it.
So if you were triggered by something, some sort of
(10:19):
emotional flood, whether it be acomment, an e-mail from a
client, I want you to wait 24 hours, OK?
The intensity will usually decrease enough that you can
evaluate whether that criticism is actually valid or if it's
your RSD trying to talk to you. Once you get that critical
feedback, write it out, OK, Whether you are a pen and paper
(10:39):
person, Google Doc person, whatever, Don't send it.
Don't send a response. Wait 24 hours and then decide if
that criticism is actionable or if it was, you know, RSD
amplifying it. Strategy #2 fact versus feeling.
So it really makes us feel like that rejection is a fact and you
need a system to separate them. So when criticism hits, you ask
(11:00):
yourself, what are the actual facts?
Client asks for a revision. Client thinks I'm terrible and
regrets hiring me? That's probably a feeling.
OK, they want to revision. That's a fact.
This is one of those core frameworks that you need to use
in your business because most ofthe story RSD tells you lives in
the feeling category. It's not a fact category and you
can't make good business decisions based on RSD generated
(11:23):
stories in your head. So create you a 2 column
document and on the left facts, on the right stories.
You'll be surprised how little of your spiral is based on
actual facts and strategy #3 thepre decision response plan.
OK, don't wait until your RSD istriggered to figure out how
you're going to handle that criticism.
Do it now. So for example, when someone
(11:44):
leaves, you know a negative comment, Write out your process
for that Now. I'm going to wait 24 hours,
respond professionally, close mylaptop, go for a walk.
When a client asks for revisions, I'm going to remind
myself this is normal. Review the feedback objectively
and respond with the timeline. But having some of these pre
decided responses removes the need to make decisions while
(12:05):
emotionally flooded. It's like having a business
continuity plan for your nervoussystem.
So write out your response plan right now.
Go ahead, write 3 common RSD triggers in your business and
keep it somewhere you can reference when you're triggered.
Strategy #4 the trust filter system.
So you can't always trust your own perception of criticism when
RSD is activated. So don't try to process it
(12:26):
alone. When you get that feedback, that
critical feedback, send it to someone.
Find 2 to 3 trusted people. This is one of the reasons like
focused and free membership exists, but send it to them and
say, is this as bad as it feels?9 times out of 10, they'll help
you see the feedback was either neutral, constructive or not
even about you. And again, that's why my
membership is so important. And even the Academy, because
(12:49):
students very often will send negative comments in there and
say, how would you respond to this?
Or you know, do you believe thistoo?
And having a trust filter, a person or two or three give you
that feedback, that reality check really helps bring you
back to a better place. Strategy #5 is the evidence
list. So RSD really wants you to
believe that one criticism meansyou're failing.
(13:10):
You need concrete evidence to counter that story.
So keep a running document of every positive piece of feedback
ever get you a Google Doc. Screenshot positive comments.
Screenshot positive testimonials.
Drop them in there. But when RSD tries to convince
you that everyone hates your work, pull.
Pull it out. Read through them.
This isn't toxic productivity, this is giving your brain
(13:31):
accurate data instead of lettingyour RSD cherry pick only
negative stuff for you. So go ahead and start your
Google doc, your wins folder, your wins list, and reference
back to that. Couple more practical
implementation tips for social media.
Turn off notifications. OK Check engagement on your
schedule, not in real time. It's very easy to go back if I
(13:51):
say OK I'm going to check my TikTok comments every day at
2:00. If they left that comment
yesterday, today, pay it two, I'm probably in a better place
to read it that, but it's not unfollows aren't unusual, OK,
They're about that person's feedcuration.
They're not about you client feedback.
Build a revisions round and yourcontracts.
If you were a a service provideror even like a coach and use
(14:13):
templates for responding to these.
OK for price rejections, remind yourself that no, no often means
not right now or not the right fit.
Or, you know, maybe it's just not for them.
Maybe they're not the client foryou, but no, does not that mean
you're not valuable? And then visibility.
This is definitely something I see a lot in my membership, but
start with smaller platforms, private communities before
(14:35):
trying to create this massive following.
Build your confidence and low stake environments first.
And we talked a lot about this. I give a lot of tips for this
and unmask my free Telegram community.
So definitely jump in there. And if you're not already on the
wait list for Flow First Thinking, my book coming out
later this year, I would also jump in there because I am
(14:56):
talking a lot about these practical implementation tips in
that book itself. So I want you to hear this
today. Having RSD doesn't mean you
can't build a successful business.
It just means you need differentstrategies than maybe a
neurotypical entrepreneur. And you don't need to eliminate
your sensitivity. You need systems to protect you
when it's triggered. And the beautiful thing is, once
(15:17):
you learn how to work with your RSD instead of fighting it,
you'll actually become better atreceiving feedback than most
entrepreneurs because you've built the systems that they
never needed to develop. So before you go, pick one
strategy from this episode. Just one.
Don't try to implement all 5 at one time.
And that is going to be your setup for overwhelm.
If this episode really helps youunderstand your RSD better,
(15:39):
share it with another ADHD entrepreneur who's been
spiraling over that criticism. Take a screenshot of you
listening to this. Throw out your stories.
Tag me at socially dot. Awesome.
You know, we need to normalize that this is a real neurological
experience, not a character flash.
And of course, if you're ready for support and building RSD
proof business systems, dopaminedriven systems, ADHD, you know,
(16:00):
proof ADHD Preneur Academy is now open again.
I have more spots in there. And then the membership of
course, is always open. But your sensitivity is part of
what makes you great at what youdo.
You just need to learn how to manage it so it doesn't manage
you. And until next time, make it
simple, make it social, make it awesome.
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