November 18, 2025 • 19 mins
Get the full show notes here: https://linkly.link/2KK38
ADHD does not look the same in everyone.And if you’re an entrepreneur, it usually shows up long before you ever get a diagnosis.
In this episode, Alyece breaks down how ADHD shows up differently in men and women, why so many women go undiagnosed for years, and how masking, perfectionism, and time blindness shape the way ADHD entrepreneurs run their day.
You’ll hear:
• Why ADHD stereotypes come from outdated ideas
• How female entrepreneurs mask quietly while drowning in executive dysfunction
• How male entrepreneurs get praised for traits that are actually ADHD symptoms
• Why “discipline” and “emotion” get mislabeled based on gender
• How burnout happens for men vs. women
• The truth about impulsivity, follow-through, and emotional regulation
• How to build a business around your ADHD brain instead of fighting it
Alyece also shares her own story of growing up undiagnosed, using extreme structure to survive, and finally understanding why her brain works the way it does.
UNMASKED: The ADHD CEO Community
A safe space for support, clarity, community, and tools that make sense for ADHD brains.
Instagram: @socially.ausome
TikTok: @sociallyausome
Website: sociallyausome.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
So you're probably thinking, youknow what ADHD looks like,
right? Hyperactive, impulsive, can't
focus, always talking. And that description that some
people misses most of them. And today we're talking about
two types of ADHD entrepreneurs.1 male, one female, both running
successful businesses, both diagnosed later than they should
(00:20):
have been, and their experiencesare wildly different.
Let's dive into it. Yo-yo, yo-yo with the least.
Say it right. No care, ADHDCEO.
Yeah, we run this track systems that slap brains built
(00:42):
different. We make sales in our sleep.
Yeah, the hustle's efficient. This ain't fluff.
Nah, this is strategy raw for the ADHD minds breaking.
Never your law. Hit Subscribe.
Don't miss a single show. We're running non dopamine.
Let's go. Let's go, let's go.
(01:03):
Here's the thing about ADHD stereotypes.
OK, they're based on how ADHD shows up in boys, 1990
classrooms and hyperactive kids disrupting class.
When ADHD shows up differently and quietly internalized, masked
as perfectionism or anxiety or being too sensitive, it goes
(01:25):
undiagnosed or misdiagnosed as depression or anxiety.
And for female entrepreneurs especially, this means years of
struggling with executive function and decision fatigue
and inconsistency while thinkingyou're just broken.
Females in general, whether you're an entrepreneur or not.
But male entrepreneurs get a different stereotype, right?
(01:47):
They're expected to be hyper andintense and entrepreneurial.
ADHD gets labeled as ambition, as hustle and as success.
Much more for men. And I love on the ADHDCEO in
case this is your first time listening to really talk about
those internal beliefs. Because sometimes we don't
understand how it shows up in our life until we hear those
(02:10):
thoughts that are playing on repeat in our head.
And one of the most common ones I see in female entrepreneurs
is, you know, I can't possibly be ADHD because I'm not like
that guy. I was so quiet about it, right?
I was trying to organize my lifeheavily to manage my brain.
I tried to build systems or processes or get organized for
(02:30):
everything. Clearly there was nothing wrong
with me, but that is masking. And girls, I used to use massive
amounts of energy just to look functional, to look like I had
it together. Some days I still do.
And the reality is my brain was working against me the whole
time. And so this is something we
address a lot in my free community, Unmasked,
(02:50):
specifically because the mask isreal and it's exhausting.
And male entrepreneurs often mask differently than female
entrepreneurs, but it's very common for people with ADHD.
Everyone's doing it. Everyone is trying to look
normal or looks functional. And before I was an
entrepreneur, you know, I just had these beliefs, like I'm just
(03:11):
bad at that. And even in the beginning of my
business, I had these beliefs ofI'm just bad at business.
And so there's this gender component to how people
interrupt and interpret your struggles.
If you're a guy and you're struggling with follow through,
it's often framed as we just need to be more disciplined,
right? If you're a woman and you're
struggling with the same thing, it's often framed from my
(03:33):
experience as you're too emotional, you're dramatic,
you're just overthinking. You always get a worst case
scenario. And honestly, neither framework
is accurate, but they both are symptoms of being someone living
with ADHD. And so, you know, my ADHD
preneur Academy really teaches the actual framework about, you
(03:55):
know, it's not necessarily aboutdiscipline, it's not necessarily
about emotion. It's not how your brain
processes that dopamine. And we work on this a lot in my
Academy on building systems thatare custom for your business.
But how you make decisions and how you manage executive to
function ultimately determine what result you get in your
business. And so once you understand the
(04:16):
actual mechanism, the gender based blame starts to disappear.
And I know this showed up a lot in earlier life for me as a
child, right? I was dramatic or I always was a
problem or I always had questions.
And I had a comment on there a week ago that comes from a
mother of a child with a DADD, which isn't usually diagnosed
(04:38):
these days. It's usually referenced as ADHD
for all. But from my experience,
something might be different where you live.
But from what I know, they don'treally diagnose a DD anymore.
And she said that, you know, shewas backing up my claim of in
the video, I shared a little bitabout a BIP, which is a behavior
intervention plan inside an IEP,which is an individual education
(04:58):
plan for children with special needs or learning disabilities.
And she said that, you know, they can't just expect these
children to control their impulse on their own, that she
had a child with severe ADD and,you know, believes they're two
to three years maturity behind their peers.
And I know what she was saying. But again, gender bias to a
(05:23):
certain extent because boys shows up, it could show up a lot
differently than in girls. And so I see this a lot with my
daughter now. I didn't necessarily see it in
myself as a child, but when I was in high school, I don't
remember much before that. Memory is not there, but I was a
freshman. All of my friends were seniors.
When I got to college, I was 17.I started to college at 17.
(05:47):
My friends were in their 30s. OK, I related better to people
who were years older than me. So to group everyone in and say
neurodivergence or two to three years behind their peers
maturity wise, I disagree. And I believe that's why I often
got in trouble for asking questions and challenging
(06:08):
authority and challenging teachers and my parents.
And because I had questions and to put myself in a position
where I felt comfortable enough to ask those questions was hard.
And it often got me a lot of trouble, right?
You're questioning adults. You're a child, you're not
supposed to do that. And I see that a lot with my
(06:28):
daughter Now, of course, hindsight's 2020, but thinking
about how this relates to business, it's very easy for me
to see where you stop wanting toask those questions.
You stop trying to show up 100% as you because you were punished
for it for so long. And so sure, maybe in boys
(06:49):
maturity levels two to three years behind, I still don't even
like to group everyone together because everyone's completely
different and the symptoms and how it shows up in their life is
different. But historically that that's not
necessarily accurate for girls from the data that we know, it
may be this is maybe not an internal belief so much as
societal belief, as though if someone is successful, they must
(07:11):
have challenges or think differently, right?
I struggle so much with some of this because I I'm a people
pleaser and I'm worried about offending someone.
But if I have a male and a female and they both built
successful businesses, there's this narrative, you're fine.
See, there's nothing wrong with it.
You're thriving. But thriving with undiagnosed
ADHD often means you're working three times as hard as someone
(07:33):
else to get the same result. And absolutely 1000% there is
nothing wrong with you. But you're using extreme
systems, extreme discipline, extreme structure, and that's
not necessarily sustainable. And that's not success.
It is just delaying that burnout.
And so I want to walk you through 2 examples today, OK,
about diagnosis journey here andhow it changes the approach to
(07:56):
business. And so we're going to use two
hypothetical people here today. And I've, I've made these two
people up based on all of the data I've collected, all of the
people I've worked with. OK, I didn't want to put anyone
on complete blast, but let's walk into societal belief #1
right? ADHD is a boy problem.
And so this is the biggest one right here.
Medical research for decades looked at ADHD through like a
(08:19):
male lens, so females often wentundiagnosed.
It shows up differently, quieter, more internalized, but
it's still there. And for male entrepreneurs, the
flip side is that hyperactivity gets celebrated in business
culture. At that risk taking, that fast
decision making that, you know, move fast, big things, that's
ADHD often and that's rewarded. But the downside is the
(08:43):
impulsivity that loses money, the hyper focus that
ignoresolation chips, the emotional dysregulation that
blows up deals. Those are less celebrated.
And another societal belief I see is there's only one way to
succeed as an entrepreneur. And this is where the entire
gender stereotype just falls short.
And ADHD stereotypes collide. Female entrepreneurs are often
(09:06):
told to be strategic and methodical and organized.
And male entrepreneurs are told to be bold and fast and
decisive. And I know there are tons of
dads out there that are just killing it, right?
They're super involved and there's even single dads out
there. When I met my husband, he was a
single dad. So I am not discrediting any of
the dads out there that might listen.
But often the females also had that maternal struggle of
(09:30):
putting the kids first and feel guilt for needing to take time
for themselves or their business.
And so that's an entirely other level.
But female entrepreneurs can be incredibly strategic and also
impulse driven and male entrepreneurs can be thoughtful
planners who to overthink decisions as well.
So ADHD doesn't fit neatly into either box.
(09:53):
And it's just this really big lie that you can't focus or you
can't get things done if you're neurodivergent.
That's just not true. It's, it's different and, and
different in the right context. And so this is where you have to
learn to understand yourself. Now try to fix yourself,
understanding yourself. The more you know about your
(10:13):
brain, the more successful you will be.
And I really remember the momentI realized my perfectionism
wasn't necessarily perfectionism.
It was time blindness and anxiety creating like this
intense need to control everything.
And once I understood that, onceI stopped blaming myself for
being too much, I actually couldaddress it.
(10:34):
And so for me, it was admitting that my success wasn't despite
my ADHD, it was because of it. And I also, in spite of it, like
the same hyper focus that built my business, also almost burned
it down multiple times. That same impulsivity that got
me to market things fast and move quickly has also made me
(10:56):
miss a lot of things and make a lot of typos.
And I'm very sorry about that. But once I knew I was working
with and what I was working with, I could actually manage it
instead of just white knuckling through it.
And so I say all of this becauseI want you to do your own
research. There's only so much I could put
in one episode. And again, everyone looks
(11:17):
different, but whether you're a male or a female listening to
this, you need to do research onhow it shows up in your life.
As there was many times in my life where I knew something was
wrong. I would go to a doctor and I was
put on depression meds or I was put on anxiety meds or, you
know, I was told to go to therapy because of all the
(11:37):
things swirling in my brain. I love therapy.
OK, It is my one hour to just ramble.
But there was a lot of things that were missed as a child.
And so today I want to leave youwith five key differences and
how to work with them. OK, because I am a tactical
person. I don't like Gray area.
I don't like concepts. Tell me what to do so I can go
do it. All right, So again, female ADHD
(11:59):
often comes, you know, diagnosedas perfectionism and anxiety and
people pleasing and masking. And I probably should put a
disclaimer in this podcast completely that I am not a
medical doctor. Please reach out to 1 if you
have concerns about your symptoms or your medication or
you're undiagnosed. That is, this is not a medical
(12:20):
podcast and I am not a medical provider.
But if you're a female entrepreneur and you're
struggling with what feels like anxiety or perfectionism or
overthinking, you need to address those right with someone
who understands how it shows up in women.
Do your research. I share my experiences so that
you know, But your struggle might not be a personality flaw.
It might be executive dysfunction disguised as
(12:42):
neurosis. So if you you know whether you
are diagnosed or yourself diagnosed, you need to make sure
that you're working with people who specialize in adult women
with ADHD. Your mentors should be women,
OK, if you are working with somespecific specifically on your
ADHD or you know how to manage it with your business, men often
(13:05):
get celebrated until it doesn't,OK.
And so that speed, that intensity, that risk taking our
assets until their liabilities. And so if you're a male
entrepreneur with ADHD, you might not realize you know that
this is coming or it's happened to you because your traits are
valued in business culture. The challenge is knowing when
your speed is an advantage and when it's impulsive damage.
(13:27):
And so that really requires honest feedback.
The focus of free membership that I have is built around
accountability from people who get, you know, see in business
contacts. But if you're a male listening
to this, I challenge you to get feedback from people you trust
about when your speed serves your business and when it costs
you. And just know that executive
(13:48):
function shows up differently. Female often struggle with
emotional regulation, time management, but we have solid
systems. And male entrepreneurs often
have solid ideas but struggle with that.
Follow through in the details. And I see this with me and my
husband, right? He has the ideas that he is the
most innovative person I know. His ideas are absolutely
(14:10):
incredible and they have saved his current company hundreds of
thousands of dollars. His employer, he, I mean, it's
just known to be the fixer, right?
You give him a problem, he's going to find a way to fix it.
But the rollout plan and the details and all of that is not
his expertise. Me, I have good ideas but then I
get lost in the details and sometimes that might hold that
(14:33):
idea back from getting out thereand getting launched.
And so neither is better, but both need support.
And again in the ADHD Preneur Academy we teach framework
specifically for this, not generic productivity advice.
So you need to identify your actual weak point.
Not the one you think you shouldhave, but your actual one.
Because masking has different costs.
(14:54):
Females you often see burnout from over managing.
Males, you often see burnout from erotic intensity.
Female entrepreneurs often mask by creating extreme systems and
structure. And you know that's why you have
a desk full of unused planners because you are going to the
extreme trying to get it together and eventually that
exhausts you. Male entrepreneurs often mask by
(15:14):
moving fast and harder and that eventually just crashes.
And I challenge, if you're not already in my free community
unmasked, it exists specificallyfor this, to acknowledge that
the mask is real and that removing it is harder than just
being like, go be yourself. So sit with this and think about
what are you masking? What would it look like to
unmask that? What would happen in your
(15:36):
business if you unmask that? And your ADHD brain is your
competitive advantage when it's properly understood and managed,
you know, building a successful business because of your ADHD
brain, not despite it. That hyper focus, that big
picture thinking, the pattern recognition, the ability to
create systems, that's you. So I always love to give action
(15:57):
staff and practical implementation implementation
tips. OK, I love to give practical
implementation tips. So if you haven't already, make
sure you subscribe to the podcast.
Download this episode because you're going to want to come
back and listen to this. I'm about to give you some
action steps. OK, so action step number one, I
want you to list three things your ADHD brain does
exceptionally well. Those are what your business
(16:19):
should be built around, period. At the end, if you are not
working in your zone of genius, you are going to avoid.
That's when you get that time blindness trying to be perfect,
and eventually you're going to get bored and that dopamine is
going to be seeking for something else.
And that's what happens. That's where you burn it down.
Okay. But a few other things I
recommend. I recommend getting in in a
(16:40):
community or a space of someone who understands your
neurodivergent brain and entrepreneurship context.
It is two different challenges. Being an entrepreneur is a
challenge in itself and then youadd neurodivergency on top of
that. It is even more challenging.
And so when you're hiring a mentor, you're joining a program
or you're, you know, have a support system at home and they
(17:01):
don't understand both challengestogether, you are often looked
at as overthinking or dramatic or emotional.
That's where that comes in. The struggle is real, OK, And
the fix is not willpower. So stop blaming yourself for how
your brain operates. ADH entrepreneurs need
representation. You need it.
You need someone to say, I see you.
(17:22):
I know what you're struggling with and I can help you.
Also, implementation tips, buildyour business around your brain.
All right, you need to understand that male and female
ADH entrepreneurs have differentchallenges but equal struggles.
And so when you're looking at what is challenging for you
every day in your business, whatis challenging you for you every
day in your life, you need to really dig into the specific
(17:44):
problem. It's very easy for us as
entrepreneurs to say, well, I don't have enough sales, I don't
have time or can't get anything done.
No more specific. Well, I am afraid to sell
because I have fear of rejection.
So that's why I'm not making sales.
You've got to get down to the root cause of the problem if
you're going to fix it. That is how our brains work on
pattern recognition. And just know that your brain
(18:04):
doesn't look like anyone else's.And that's not a flawless
information. If you're a female entrepreneur
and you've been told you're too anxious or you're a
perfectionist or you're too much, just know that's how your
brain works and you can work with that, right?
We can put in placeholders and double checks and accountability
to make sure that you're not becoming a liability.
Having someone you can ask and go to and say, hey, am I moving
(18:29):
too fast? Someone that'll give you honest
feedback. Because either way your brain
works the way it does, The question is whether you're going
to work with it or against it and burn out.
So you've got to get tired of the mask.
You got to get tired of the blame.
You got to decide to understand your brain instead of continuing
chaos. All right, so I want you to take
(18:51):
some time to sit with this. If you're not already in the
unmasked community, definitely check the show notes.
I'll have information in the show notes on my programs, on
the free community, Some resources for you there too.
But gender specific struggles aren't discussed enough.
And we often blame ourselves forall of these things that are
just symptoms of your neurodivergency.
(19:13):
And when you acknowledge that and you work with it, everything
will change. OK, so if you got any value out
of this episode, make sure you take a screenshot of this store
in your stories. Tag me on IG at socially dot
awesome. As always, check the show notes
for all the resources. And until next time, make it
simple. Make it social, make it awesome.
So you're probably thinking, youknow what ADHD looks like,
right? Hyperactive, impulsive, can't
focus, always talking. And that description that some
people misses most of them. And today we're talking about
two types of ADHD entrepreneurs.1 male, one female, both running
successful businesses, both diagnosed later than they should
(00:20):
have been, and their experiencesare wildly different.
Let's dive into it. Yo-yo, yo-yo with the least.
Say it right. No care, ADHDCEO.
Yeah, we run this track systems that slap brains built
(00:42):
different. We make sales in our sleep.
Yeah, the hustle's efficient. This ain't fluff.
Nah, this is strategy raw for the ADHD minds breaking.
Never your law. Hit Subscribe.
Don't miss a single show. We're running non dopamine.
Let's go. Let's go, let's go.
(01:03):
Here's the thing about ADHD stereotypes.
OK, they're based on how ADHD shows up in boys, 1990
classrooms and hyperactive kids disrupting class.
When ADHD shows up differently and quietly internalized, masked
as perfectionism or anxiety or being too sensitive, it goes
(01:25):
undiagnosed or misdiagnosed as depression or anxiety.
And for female entrepreneurs especially, this means years of
struggling with executive function and decision fatigue
and inconsistency while thinkingyou're just broken.
Females in general, whether you're an entrepreneur or not.
But male entrepreneurs get a different stereotype, right?
(01:47):
They're expected to be hyper andintense and entrepreneurial.
ADHD gets labeled as ambition, as hustle and as success.
Much more for men. And I love on the ADHDCEO in
case this is your first time listening to really talk about
those internal beliefs. Because sometimes we don't
understand how it shows up in our life until we hear those
(02:10):
thoughts that are playing on repeat in our head.
And one of the most common ones I see in female entrepreneurs
is, you know, I can't possibly be ADHD because I'm not like
that guy. I was so quiet about it, right?
I was trying to organize my lifeheavily to manage my brain.
I tried to build systems or processes or get organized for
(02:30):
everything. Clearly there was nothing wrong
with me, but that is masking. And girls, I used to use massive
amounts of energy just to look functional, to look like I had
it together. Some days I still do.
And the reality is my brain was working against me the whole
time. And so this is something we
address a lot in my free community, Unmasked,
(02:50):
specifically because the mask isreal and it's exhausting.
And male entrepreneurs often mask differently than female
entrepreneurs, but it's very common for people with ADHD.
Everyone's doing it. Everyone is trying to look
normal or looks functional. And before I was an
entrepreneur, you know, I just had these beliefs, like I'm just
(03:11):
bad at that. And even in the beginning of my
business, I had these beliefs ofI'm just bad at business.
And so there's this gender component to how people
interrupt and interpret your struggles.
If you're a guy and you're struggling with follow through,
it's often framed as we just need to be more disciplined,
right? If you're a woman and you're
struggling with the same thing, it's often framed from my
(03:33):
experience as you're too emotional, you're dramatic,
you're just overthinking. You always get a worst case
scenario. And honestly, neither framework
is accurate, but they both are symptoms of being someone living
with ADHD. And so, you know, my ADHD
preneur Academy really teaches the actual framework about, you
(03:55):
know, it's not necessarily aboutdiscipline, it's not necessarily
about emotion. It's not how your brain
processes that dopamine. And we work on this a lot in my
Academy on building systems thatare custom for your business.
But how you make decisions and how you manage executive to
function ultimately determine what result you get in your
business. And so once you understand the
(04:16):
actual mechanism, the gender based blame starts to disappear.
And I know this showed up a lot in earlier life for me as a
child, right? I was dramatic or I always was a
problem or I always had questions.
And I had a comment on there a week ago that comes from a
mother of a child with a DADD, which isn't usually diagnosed
(04:38):
these days. It's usually referenced as ADHD
for all. But from my experience,
something might be different where you live.
But from what I know, they don'treally diagnose a DD anymore.
And she said that, you know, shewas backing up my claim of in
the video, I shared a little bitabout a BIP, which is a behavior
intervention plan inside an IEP,which is an individual education
(04:58):
plan for children with special needs or learning disabilities.
And she said that, you know, they can't just expect these
children to control their impulse on their own, that she
had a child with severe ADD and,you know, believes they're two
to three years maturity behind their peers.
And I know what she was saying. But again, gender bias to a
(05:23):
certain extent because boys shows up, it could show up a lot
differently than in girls. And so I see this a lot with my
daughter now. I didn't necessarily see it in
myself as a child, but when I was in high school, I don't
remember much before that. Memory is not there, but I was a
freshman. All of my friends were seniors.
When I got to college, I was 17.I started to college at 17.
(05:47):
My friends were in their 30s. OK, I related better to people
who were years older than me. So to group everyone in and say
neurodivergence or two to three years behind their peers
maturity wise, I disagree. And I believe that's why I often
got in trouble for asking questions and challenging
(06:08):
authority and challenging teachers and my parents.
And because I had questions and to put myself in a position
where I felt comfortable enough to ask those questions was hard.
And it often got me a lot of trouble, right?
You're questioning adults. You're a child, you're not
supposed to do that. And I see that a lot with my
(06:28):
daughter Now, of course, hindsight's 2020, but thinking
about how this relates to business, it's very easy for me
to see where you stop wanting toask those questions.
You stop trying to show up 100% as you because you were punished
for it for so long. And so sure, maybe in boys
(06:49):
maturity levels two to three years behind, I still don't even
like to group everyone together because everyone's completely
different and the symptoms and how it shows up in their life is
different. But historically that that's not
necessarily accurate for girls from the data that we know, it
may be this is maybe not an internal belief so much as
societal belief, as though if someone is successful, they must
(07:11):
have challenges or think differently, right?
I struggle so much with some of this because I I'm a people
pleaser and I'm worried about offending someone.
But if I have a male and a female and they both built
successful businesses, there's this narrative, you're fine.
See, there's nothing wrong with it.
You're thriving. But thriving with undiagnosed
ADHD often means you're working three times as hard as someone
(07:33):
else to get the same result. And absolutely 1000% there is
nothing wrong with you. But you're using extreme
systems, extreme discipline, extreme structure, and that's
not necessarily sustainable. And that's not success.
It is just delaying that burnout.
And so I want to walk you through 2 examples today, OK,
about diagnosis journey here andhow it changes the approach to
(07:56):
business. And so we're going to use two
hypothetical people here today. And I've, I've made these two
people up based on all of the data I've collected, all of the
people I've worked with. OK, I didn't want to put anyone
on complete blast, but let's walk into societal belief #1
right? ADHD is a boy problem.
And so this is the biggest one right here.
Medical research for decades looked at ADHD through like a
(08:19):
male lens, so females often wentundiagnosed.
It shows up differently, quieter, more internalized, but
it's still there. And for male entrepreneurs, the
flip side is that hyperactivity gets celebrated in business
culture. At that risk taking, that fast
decision making that, you know, move fast, big things, that's
ADHD often and that's rewarded. But the downside is the
(08:43):
impulsivity that loses money, the hyper focus that
ignoresolation chips, the emotional dysregulation that
blows up deals. Those are less celebrated.
And another societal belief I see is there's only one way to
succeed as an entrepreneur. And this is where the entire
gender stereotype just falls short.
And ADHD stereotypes collide. Female entrepreneurs are often
(09:06):
told to be strategic and methodical and organized.
And male entrepreneurs are told to be bold and fast and
decisive. And I know there are tons of
dads out there that are just killing it, right?
They're super involved and there's even single dads out
there. When I met my husband, he was a
single dad. So I am not discrediting any of
the dads out there that might listen.
But often the females also had that maternal struggle of
(09:30):
putting the kids first and feel guilt for needing to take time
for themselves or their business.
And so that's an entirely other level.
But female entrepreneurs can be incredibly strategic and also
impulse driven and male entrepreneurs can be thoughtful
planners who to overthink decisions as well.
So ADHD doesn't fit neatly into either box.
(09:53):
And it's just this really big lie that you can't focus or you
can't get things done if you're neurodivergent.
That's just not true. It's, it's different and, and
different in the right context. And so this is where you have to
learn to understand yourself. Now try to fix yourself,
understanding yourself. The more you know about your
(10:13):
brain, the more successful you will be.
And I really remember the momentI realized my perfectionism
wasn't necessarily perfectionism.
It was time blindness and anxiety creating like this
intense need to control everything.
And once I understood that, onceI stopped blaming myself for
being too much, I actually couldaddress it.
(10:34):
And so for me, it was admitting that my success wasn't despite
my ADHD, it was because of it. And I also, in spite of it, like
the same hyper focus that built my business, also almost burned
it down multiple times. That same impulsivity that got
me to market things fast and move quickly has also made me
(10:56):
miss a lot of things and make a lot of typos.
And I'm very sorry about that. But once I knew I was working
with and what I was working with, I could actually manage it
instead of just white knuckling through it.
And so I say all of this becauseI want you to do your own
research. There's only so much I could put
in one episode. And again, everyone looks
(11:17):
different, but whether you're a male or a female listening to
this, you need to do research onhow it shows up in your life.
As there was many times in my life where I knew something was
wrong. I would go to a doctor and I was
put on depression meds or I was put on anxiety meds or, you
know, I was told to go to therapy because of all the
(11:37):
things swirling in my brain. I love therapy.
OK, It is my one hour to just ramble.
But there was a lot of things that were missed as a child.
And so today I want to leave youwith five key differences and
how to work with them. OK, because I am a tactical
person. I don't like Gray area.
I don't like concepts. Tell me what to do so I can go
do it. All right, So again, female ADHD
(11:59):
often comes, you know, diagnosedas perfectionism and anxiety and
people pleasing and masking. And I probably should put a
disclaimer in this podcast completely that I am not a
medical doctor. Please reach out to 1 if you
have concerns about your symptoms or your medication or
you're undiagnosed. That is, this is not a medical
(12:20):
podcast and I am not a medical provider.
But if you're a female entrepreneur and you're
struggling with what feels like anxiety or perfectionism or
overthinking, you need to address those right with someone
who understands how it shows up in women.
Do your research. I share my experiences so that
you know, But your struggle might not be a personality flaw.
It might be executive dysfunction disguised as
(12:42):
neurosis. So if you you know whether you
are diagnosed or yourself diagnosed, you need to make sure
that you're working with people who specialize in adult women
with ADHD. Your mentors should be women,
OK, if you are working with somespecific specifically on your
ADHD or you know how to manage it with your business, men often
(13:05):
get celebrated until it doesn't,OK.
And so that speed, that intensity, that risk taking our
assets until their liabilities. And so if you're a male
entrepreneur with ADHD, you might not realize you know that
this is coming or it's happened to you because your traits are
valued in business culture. The challenge is knowing when
your speed is an advantage and when it's impulsive damage.
(13:27):
And so that really requires honest feedback.
The focus of free membership that I have is built around
accountability from people who get, you know, see in business
contacts. But if you're a male listening
to this, I challenge you to get feedback from people you trust
about when your speed serves your business and when it costs
you. And just know that executive
(13:48):
function shows up differently. Female often struggle with
emotional regulation, time management, but we have solid
systems. And male entrepreneurs often
have solid ideas but struggle with that.
Follow through in the details. And I see this with me and my
husband, right? He has the ideas that he is the
most innovative person I know. His ideas are absolutely
(14:10):
incredible and they have saved his current company hundreds of
thousands of dollars. His employer, he, I mean, it's
just known to be the fixer, right?
You give him a problem, he's going to find a way to fix it.
But the rollout plan and the details and all of that is not
his expertise. Me, I have good ideas but then I
get lost in the details and sometimes that might hold that
(14:33):
idea back from getting out thereand getting launched.
And so neither is better, but both need support.
And again in the ADHD Preneur Academy we teach framework
specifically for this, not generic productivity advice.
So you need to identify your actual weak point.
Not the one you think you shouldhave, but your actual one.
Because masking has different costs.
(14:54):
Females you often see burnout from over managing.
Males, you often see burnout from erotic intensity.
Female entrepreneurs often mask by creating extreme systems and
structure. And you know that's why you have
a desk full of unused planners because you are going to the
extreme trying to get it together and eventually that
exhausts you. Male entrepreneurs often mask by
(15:14):
moving fast and harder and that eventually just crashes.
And I challenge, if you're not already in my free community
unmasked, it exists specificallyfor this, to acknowledge that
the mask is real and that removing it is harder than just
being like, go be yourself. So sit with this and think about
what are you masking? What would it look like to
unmask that? What would happen in your
(15:36):
business if you unmask that? And your ADHD brain is your
competitive advantage when it's properly understood and managed,
you know, building a successful business because of your ADHD
brain, not despite it. That hyper focus, that big
picture thinking, the pattern recognition, the ability to
create systems, that's you. So I always love to give action
(15:57):
staff and practical implementation implementation
tips. OK, I love to give practical
implementation tips. So if you haven't already, make
sure you subscribe to the podcast.
Download this episode because you're going to want to come
back and listen to this. I'm about to give you some
action steps. OK, so action step number one, I
want you to list three things your ADHD brain does
exceptionally well. Those are what your business
(16:19):
should be built around, period. At the end, if you are not
working in your zone of genius, you are going to avoid.
That's when you get that time blindness trying to be perfect,
and eventually you're going to get bored and that dopamine is
going to be seeking for something else.
And that's what happens. That's where you burn it down.
Okay. But a few other things I
recommend. I recommend getting in in a
(16:40):
community or a space of someone who understands your
neurodivergent brain and entrepreneurship context.
It is two different challenges. Being an entrepreneur is a
challenge in itself and then youadd neurodivergency on top of
that. It is even more challenging.
And so when you're hiring a mentor, you're joining a program
or you're, you know, have a support system at home and they
(17:01):
don't understand both challengestogether, you are often looked
at as overthinking or dramatic or emotional.
That's where that comes in. The struggle is real, OK, And
the fix is not willpower. So stop blaming yourself for how
your brain operates. ADH entrepreneurs need
representation. You need it.
You need someone to say, I see you.
(17:22):
I know what you're struggling with and I can help you.
Also, implementation tips, buildyour business around your brain.
All right, you need to understand that male and female
ADH entrepreneurs have differentchallenges but equal struggles.
And so when you're looking at what is challenging for you
every day in your business, whatis challenging you for you every
day in your life, you need to really dig into the specific
(17:44):
problem. It's very easy for us as
entrepreneurs to say, well, I don't have enough sales, I don't
have time or can't get anything done.
No more specific. Well, I am afraid to sell
because I have fear of rejection.
So that's why I'm not making sales.
You've got to get down to the root cause of the problem if
you're going to fix it. That is how our brains work on
pattern recognition. And just know that your brain
(18:04):
doesn't look like anyone else's.And that's not a flawless
information. If you're a female entrepreneur
and you've been told you're too anxious or you're a
perfectionist or you're too much, just know that's how your
brain works and you can work with that, right?
We can put in placeholders and double checks and accountability
to make sure that you're not becoming a liability.
Having someone you can ask and go to and say, hey, am I moving
(18:29):
too fast? Someone that'll give you honest
feedback. Because either way your brain
works the way it does, The question is whether you're going
to work with it or against it and burn out.
So you've got to get tired of the mask.
You got to get tired of the blame.
You got to decide to understand your brain instead of continuing
chaos. All right, so I want you to take
(18:51):
some time to sit with this. If you're not already in the
unmasked community, definitely check the show notes.
I'll have information in the show notes on my programs, on
the free community, Some resources for you there too.
But gender specific struggles aren't discussed enough.
And we often blame ourselves forall of these things that are
just symptoms of your neurodivergency.
(19:13):
And when you acknowledge that and you work with it, everything
will change. OK, so if you got any value out
of this episode, make sure you take a screenshot of this store
in your stories. Tag me on IG at socially dot
awesome. As always, check the show notes
for all the resources. And until next time, make it
simple. Make it social, make it awesome.
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