Ep 084: How Do I Heal When I Still Live With My Mama?

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Home is supposed to be a place of safety, love, and comfort. But for many, it can feel like the opposite. Living with constant criticism, emotional pressure, or dismissive behavior can leave a deep, invisible wound.

Every day becomes walking on eggshells. You may love your family, but that love doesn’t erase the tension or the ways your boundaries are ignored. Trying to be the “good daughter” often comes at the cost of your confidence, peace, and emotional health.

The hardest truth is this: no matter how much you try to explain or reason, you cannot make someone else change. Healing feels impossible when the source of pain is always present. Your home should nurture you, but when it doesn’t, it forces you to confront the gap between the life you have and the safety you deserve.

In this episode, I break down one of the most common questions I get: How do you heal when you still live at home with the very mother who’s hurting you? As we close out the year, I’m answering your real, raw questions about unsafe homes, criticism, grief, and trying to build a future while your past is still sitting in the next room. We talk about safety, autonomy, community, and the honest truth about what it actually takes to protect your peace and plan your way out. If you’re stuck in a house that drains you, this one matters.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:19) Welcome to the Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:04:26) Q1: How can you heal when your environment is unhealthy?

(00:05:40) Establish internal safety

(00:07:09) Rebuilding trust in yourself and cultivating physical spaces

(00:10:41) Q2: Should you show compassion to your abusive mother?

(00:12:35) Q3: Processing grief while estranged and still living at home

(00:14:06) There’s no autonomy when you live with your abuser

(00:16:31) Q4: How do I deal with my mother’s constant criticism and emotional pressure while preparing to move out?

(00:17:19) Limit your presence and practice silence as a boundary

(00:21:03) Q5: How do I heal the mother wound while being my mother’s full-time caregiver?

(00:24:01) Release the need to be seen as “a good daughter”

(00:26:15) Be honest about what you can give

(00:27:28) Create a life outside the home

(00:28:45) The false sense of care

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

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