Ep. 81 - Homeschooling Preschool: How To Get The Most Out Of The Early Years - The Christy-Faith Show

Episode Transcript
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Kathy Eggers (00:00):
When a young child is learning a new concept, if

(00:02):
they're learning it through rotememorization, flashcards,
worksheets, it could take themup to 400 times for the brain to
make that connection. 400.However, that same concept
you're trying to teach them, ifyou teach it through play, guess
how many times? 10 to 20. I wantyou to fall in love with your

(00:23):
children.
I want you to get to know yourchildren and realize that the
connection between you and themis greater than any curriculum
you will ever, ever buy.

Christy-Faith (00:44):
Welcome everybody to today's show. We have a guest
today. Whoo. We have a guest,Kathy Eggers on today. She is a
passionate advocate for youngchildren and a leading expert in
child development.
With over thirty years dedicatedto the well-being of little
ones, she brings a wealth ofexperience as a former teacher,

(01:07):
administrator, and homeschoolingmom of many. Kathy is the
acclaimed author of TheHomegrown Preschooler, A Year of
Playing Skillfully, A Summer ofPlaying Skillfully, 101 Easy
Wacky Crazy Activities, andmore. Welcome to the show today,
Kathy. This is gonna be such atreat for so many homeschooling

(01:29):
moms.

Hey, Christy. I am so happy to be with you, and you
know you're right. I ampassionate and love to talk, so
you feel free to shush me if weneed to.

I don't think so. And by the way, if you guys
don't know this, Kathy wasinvited to teach a master class
in Thrive Homeschool Communitywhere she was able to go a lot
deeper on the stuff that we'regonna talk about today. So and
at the end of the show, we'llalso let you know how to reach
Kathy in all the ways, whetherit's social media or through her
curriculum. But this is what Iwanna say, Kathy, is way back

(02:00):
when I was brand new as ahomeschooling mom, I went to a
homeschool convention, and youwere one of the speakers.

Have I voted this to You you mentioned it. You
mentioned it. You did.

Okay. Okay. And you were one of the speakers,
and I was just so amazed. And Iremember, I don't know how long
you did this because it was abig hot mess, but you had those
water beads at your booth. Didyou do that a while?

I did it for a while, but I have gotten rid of
the water beads. Yeah. There'sso much controversy and There
is. Some true well, not onlycontroversy, there it's proven
that they're dangerous, andthere's so many great sensory
things. But, gosh, I loved themwhile we had them.

I know. Fun. Yeah. Yeah. It makes complete
sense, and we ended up being awater bead list family
ourselves.
But here's what I want thelisteners to know is that I used
your curriculum with my littles,and we absolutely loved it. So
this is just really cool to haveyou on today. It feels like a
full circle moment. And what'sneat is you have you've been

(02:59):
really diligent in making surethat your curriculum is always
updated, following bestpractices, following the latest
research. And so I haven'tlooked at it recently because my
kids are now older, but I justthink it's exciting what you are
doing and how you're taking careof the brains of our little
ones, but also this combo of wewanna love this life.

(03:19):
We wanna love this homeschoolinglife. Right?

Oh my gosh. That is it. Like, it is so much more
preschool. I'll be the first totell you. Preschoolers don't
need a curriculum.
It's just true. They don't. Theyneed play. But mamas, we need a
guide sometimes. But the guideis not about the, really, the
activities.
It's really about the way youcan connect with your kids and
enjoy this and build thesememories and this foundation of
a love for learning, not onlyfor them, but also for you

(03:45):
because you matter too in thisjourney. I mean, it's not just
about them. It's about all us.

Yes. And that's my community, Thrive Homeschool
Community is all aboutsupporting that mom because
really we have to take care ofourselves first. Right? We need
to and and that's what you gaveme way back in the day because
I'm not an artsy crafty. I'm anacademic.
I taught college. Right? And sohere I was homeschooling, you
know, littles thinking, okay.Can someone just tell me what

(04:10):
activity to buy? I'll just go toMichaels.
And you did that, but you alsogave me the why. So let's back
up for a minute because that'sreally important to today's
show. First, I wanna start with,can you share with us your
journey into homeschoolingadvocacy and child development?

Yeah. I would love that. I'll try to make it as
brief as possible. Listen. I amone of those people I think I
was born for this truly.
I remember as a young girl, Iwould just walk in around young
children, and they would justcome up to me. And then as I
became an adult, it to this dayto this day, I will be
somewhere, and kids I don't knowwill walk up. There's something
that God gave me to just connectwith young children. I get them.

(04:49):
Maybe that's why I stoppedacademically.
I don't know. But I get them atsuch a deep level, and I have
such a love for children thatthat really is the root of all
of what I do, why I do it. Wentto college, knew I wanted to
work in the field. Didn'tnecessarily wanna be a classroom
teacher in the public schoolsystem, but knew I wanted to
work with children. So that ledme to child development.

(05:11):
I was a teacher, then I was anadministrator. I started
schools. One of the best thingsI did is get involved with an
organization, NAEYC. And Ibecame a mentor and a validator
for them where I would go checkschools and child development
centers for quality. Were theybeing appropriate,
developmentally appropriatepractices is what it's called?
Were they running theirclassroom, taking care of the

(05:33):
children socially, emotionally,physically, and cognitively? And
then when I moved intohomeschooling, which I also knew
I wanted to do from a young agebecause my siblings had friends
who were homeschooled, like,back when it was weird, but I
thought it was cool because Iloved the the family dynamic. I
would watch this family interactand travel and explore and ask

(05:55):
questions and be curious. And Ithought, I want that lifestyle.
I want to be the one to witnessthe moments.
So I did that as a homeschoolingmom, homeschooled my children.
My youngest is now a sophomorein college. So I am through with
that journey. However, I got theprivilege to merge the two
worlds together. I got towitness, hey.

(06:15):
No one's really teaching ourhomeschool moms about play back
when I started this. Now there'smany more people doing it. But
when I started, literally, therewas no one. And so I wrote the
homegrown preschooler. It'skinda bringing in my child
development expertise with myhomeschooling expertise and
merge the two, and out of thatcame the other curriculum and
books.
So that's

how it started. Yeah. That's fantastic. And I
mentioned previously that yourecently taught a master class
in Thrive Homeschool Community.And in that class, you discussed
the profound impact of play onour neural connections.
Is that the right term?

Neural connection? Neural pathways. Yep.

Yeah. Neural pathways. Could you elaborate on
how different types of playcontribute to cognitive
development? And here's andhere's the ledge that I'm hoping
that you can keep, you know,keep bombs off of is we are
especially a brand newhomeschool mom. She is so
insecure, and she doesn't wannamess this up.
And Yes. Heaven forbid that wegive our kids a bad education,

(07:13):
and maybe we have family memberswho are kinda side eyeing us.
Like, what are you doing thishomeschooling thing? And then
here a mom comes along and she'slike, we play. Right?
And that's what she should bedoing in those earlier years,
but it's really great for momsto be empowered with some
language regarding why that playis so developmentally important

(07:35):
and how that is not sacrificingacademics. It's actually
contributing to it. And I wouldlove for you to take a moment
and speak on that.

Gosh. I love this question. And the research is
there. I mean, if you do it, oneof my favorite child development
specialists, Karen Purvis, she'sno longer with us. She has done
so much work out in she did somuch work out in Texas.
And I think the research she didon neural pathways, pathways,
speaking of, do you know thatwhen a young child is learning a
new concept, if they're learningit through rote memorization,

(08:05):
flashcards, worksheets, it couldtake them up to four hundred
times for the brain to make thatconnection. 400. However, that
same concept you're trying toteach them, if you teach it
through play, guess how manytimes, Christy? 10 to 20. 10 to
20 versus 400.
So if we just start there, if wejust say, okay. Well, that just

(08:28):
makes my day a lot easier. Youknow, if they're in that's why
even in our curriculum, werepeat activities. I encourage
you to repeat them because kidsdo need it repeated even in
play, but the concept that wegraph so much quicker through
play than it is through rotememorizations. The other thing
is every area of the brain isdeveloped through play.

(08:49):
Listen. Executive function. Doyou know the best way to develop
those problem solving skills?Through pretend play. Literally,
when we're doing kitchen andwe're making recipes up, and
we're saying we're gonna makespaghetti and meat sauce, but
we're gonna put syrup in it orwhatever.
That is the brain actuallystrengthening the executive
function, that prefrontalcortex. It's amazing what it

(09:09):
does. Find motor skills. Thathelps them get ready to write.
If they're not playing with PlayDoh, if they're not squishing in
the mud, when we when we wannalook back of what childhood used
to be, when it was outside allday, when kids were in the
creek, when kids were digging inthe mud, those kids were
strengthening fine motor skillsto hold a pencil to write later.

(09:30):
So not only are you giving themwhat we would say is fun, it is
the way the brain was wired tobe developed. You must do it
through play if you want it. Infact, when you choose not to do
it through play, the brainactually has to develop a
workaround. It has to go, wait.This is not how I'm wired.
I can figure it out, but that'spart of why it would take 400

(09:51):
times to get that sameinformation in the brain. Some
of it right there.

And, you know, that message is really hard to
hear for a lot of people becausewe live in a culture where play
is not valued in this particularway. I mean, leisure time is
valued. Right? We we work reallyhard so that we could have play.
Mhmm.
But play is not considered thework. And that's something
really hard even as we'redeschooling women that I coach

(10:18):
that just because something isfun doesn't mean that it didn't
count as learning. Can you speakto that a little bit?

Yeah. And I wanna be real careful with this too
because again, I go back to nothere to push my curriculum at
all. In fact, again, you don'tneed it, but the reason we do it
is people get overwhelmed. Ithink parents get overwhelmed
with, okay, what does that mean?It's just chaos that I just like
go check out on my phone andthey're over there learning as
they're beating each other upand Legos are flying across the

(10:45):
room.
It's not that. So sometimes itreally is in uninterrupted. That
is true. They don't need us inthe middle of their play, but
sometimes we do need to set upan invitation to play. We do
need to set up you know, I wannasee about some color mixing, so
we're gonna set that up andinvite them to come in.
Often, will change it, andthat's the key. Even if you set

(11:07):
up an invitation to playChristy, be flexible that the
children are change it. Iremember just recently a friend,
she posted something on TikTok.She bought this cute little
case, and I'm like, oh, thatwould be so cute for Barbies and
Barbie dolls. And then anotherperson commented and said, well,
my daughter said it'd be perfectfor all of her kitchen utensils
and her pretend food.
And I thought, yeah, that isbetter. Like, kids do it better.

(11:30):
They naturally they naturally doit better. They figure it out.
So as you're playing, really letthem be invested in that play.
Your role is a facilitator.Whether you're in play or even
as they get older, you aren'tsupposed to be coming in
vomiting information on yourchildren. You are facilitator to

(11:51):
help lead them to thatinformation. You help spark the
curiosity. That's your role.

Yes. And I think the core of this, and you and I,
I think, are in such alignmenton this is we have an
understanding that an educationis not content. That's not an
education. At its very core, aneducation is the cultivation of
a human being. It is developingskills so that our kids can do

(12:20):
whatever they want to do intheir lives.
Right?

Spot on. And when you don't do that through play,
there are gaps in that. Becauseoften, if you're doing it, let's
say, a worksheet, you aworksheet or a flashcard, you're
not working on the socialemotional skills, and those are
huge. You've got to developwe're seeing so many kids who
lack coping skills today becausethose social emotional skills

(12:45):
were not developed in the earlyyears. And I'm sure you know
this, but that stuff isdeveloped by about age seven.
Seven. So if we skip it and say,oh, but I'm teaching them to
read. I know we do ourflashcards every single morning
in morning basket. We've got ourflashcards and we do the
weather. But are you teachingthem to process their feelings
when they're feeling sad oranxious or scared?

Are you

giving them the opportunity to write that down
to say this this hurts, this youknow, when you did this, it felt
this way. That is just as muchapart, if not more important, I
think, than some of the othercontent we wanna put into our
day.

Yes. Absolutely. And it's interesting because in
the past ten years, they there'sbeen a lot of research done on,
okay, what makes a childsuccessful in life. Right? And
Mhmm.
First, we ask ourselves, well,how do you define success? But
we'll leave that there.Employment. Employment or
whatever. Okay.
But the studies were saying thatit was primarily they used to
say it was primarily involvedparents. That is what moved kids

(13:46):
along. They were able to reachtheir goals. They were getting
the college degrees. They weregaining employment, you know,
whatever that success looks

like. Sure.

So but what's interesting is the pivot that
has happened, and the latestresearch is so fascinating to me
because, but I think it supportsthe previous research. It just
didn't get right to the bottomof it yet. They're now finding
that the key predictor foracademic success is emotional
regulation.

Mhmm.

And this is something that I teach in when I
go around to conferences and Ihave a talk that's like on
battles and pushback and and allof that. And I talk about, you
know, we need to be morebehavior detectives, not
behavior cops. Right? Yes. Butwhat's interesting about that
empathy piece and, you know, wehave this intensity of academics

(14:36):
at, like, the earliest ages.
Well, one we know there'sresearch now that that backfires
anyway, but I think it's reallyinteresting this emotional
regulation piece because itactually supports previously.
Because if you have involvedparents who really, really care,
you probably are havingconversations at home, probably
in a more emotionally resilientcommunicative family, and you

(14:58):
probably have better skills.But, you know, in my math talk,
I do a talk on math, and I say,look. I know where you guys are.
You're at the place right nowwhere you your child just looks
at that word problem and meltsdown.
They might be able to do it, andyou're probably saying, you can
do that problem. It just lookshard. The breakdown isn't math.
The breakdown is emotionalregulation, which is a skill.

(15:21):
Right?

Absolutely.

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Absolutely. And I always tell parents back to your
cop comment is that behavior iscommunication. So don't get
emotional about it. Don't takeit personally. Just recognize
behavior is communication, andyou need to get curious about
that behavior.
And the more curious you are asa parent, the easier it's gonna
be to get to the root. And theroot is really, again, all the

(17:42):
outward stuff, just like thedysregulation, those are just
symptoms. There's somethinggoing

on at the

root, so that's why you need to get curious. So
side note on that.

Yeah. Yes. Yes. So my I can speak to my struggle
when my kids were little. Youknow, I'm not I'm not uptight
per se, but I do like a tidyhouse.
I'm not naturally crafty. That'sactually an area that I've tried
to grow up either.

I I need to really say that. I'm not crafty.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've tried to learn
knitting because I know thebenefits of having hand you
know, handicrafts and thingslike that. Mhmm. And I wanna get
back to the uninterrupted playpiece.
So I'm gonna write a note formyself. But Okay. Speak to the
mom right now who is reallydysregulated maybe by visual
clutter or messes in her home. Iknow everyone listening here is

(18:28):
a growth mindset girly. We kindaall are.
That's who listens to mypodcast. Okay. And speak to that
because that can really hard.I've even had moms tell me I
could never homeschool because Iknow my house would be a mess,
which that's a terrible reasonnot to homeschool. You gotta
figure that part out.
But you know what I'm gettingat? This can be really hard for
some moms because Absolutely.That young play where you're

(18:49):
letting them in the mud. Youknow, I remember being at my in
law's house one time and justletting my kids just, you know,
ruin their clothes outside, andshe was just flipping out. And
I'm like, it can just go in thewash.
But that's really hard sometimesbecause this is the thing is
when you have little kids,you're tired. You are tired.

(19:09):
You're cleaning all day. Theycan't clean the kitchen yet. I
remember those days.
And some some days it felt likethere was a cloud over me. So
the thought of strewing orsetting my kids up for a
skillful play environment wasjust too much.

How can you help us? Listen. I get that. I I love
a tidy house too. I mean, it'sso funny.
People assume that I probablylive in chaos, and I'm so
crafty. No. Not none of that.But what I do is there are
places and spaces. So I'm reallygood about being creative.
Where's my place in my space forthis messy play? So when you

(19:43):
have little ones, sometimes it'sthe bathtub. That's real easy to
clean them up. You put somewater in the bathtub. You drop
some color in.
You put some shaving cream.There, it's done. If that's too
much for you to take it out ofthe house, start there. Get one
of those cheap $10 swimmingpools and set that up somewhere,
and you can keep it contained.You can get bussing bins and put
it towel on the floor.

(20:05):
It doesn't all have to be goingon at the same time. You don't
have to have dress up play atthe same time that you got the
sensory table out to the sametime that you have the Play Doh
out. You can have places andspace. I used my front porch all
the time. We had a covered frontporch when my kids were little.
I took an old armoire, TVarmoire. Remember when we all
had those? I took that, and Ifilled it up with my paints, my

(20:26):
paper, my sensory bins. And soit was easy for me to say yes
because if it takes too muchtime, the yes becomes harder. If
you've gotta go find the paint,you've gotta set up the easel,
if you've gotta pull out thesensory bins.
But if you can have a spacewhere you keep that and it's
easy to grab and easy to sayyes, it makes the yes so much
easier. And then the cleanup canbe quick. Again, you don't have

(20:49):
to do it every day. Maybe youstart with two days. We're gonna
do sensory messy play.
There are some other ways we canplay that doesn't involve that.
It's okay if you ban glitterfrom your home. I'm not gonna
judge you out. I think Iprobably banned glitter for a
few years too. It's okay.
You do what is best for you too.Again, you are part of this

(21:09):
equation. And I think the moreyou do it, the more you get
comfortable. That's what I hearfrom all the years I've been
teaching moms and teachers toplay is that the more you say
yes or why not, I also teach saywhy not instead of why. What?
Why not? What? Really? Why not?If they jump in that water
puddle.
You're right, Christy. You canwash it up. You're already doing

(21:29):
laundry anyway, so throw it in.Those are the things that can
help you to not get sooverwhelmed with this type of
play.

Yeah. I think that's really helpful. And I
wanna go back to this concept ofuninterrupted play because I'm a
historian, and Charlotte Masonwrote about this, and so did
Peter Gray talk about people whoare totally different. Right?
And this concept that you'retalking about right now might

(21:56):
feel a little bit too unschool yfor some listeners, and
Charlotte Mason talked about howimportant uninterrupted play is.
And I think we live in a spaceright now where even a mom who's
really in tune with theemotional development of her
kids, she might be tempted tohover and work out conflict and

(22:17):
help them process and pull themaside and things like that. And
I feel like there needs to be alittle bit more freedom to to an
extent we don't wanna condoneabusive behavior or anything
like that, but to an extent, letkids kinda work it out. And
Charlotte Mason even said, theyneed to be gone. They need to be
out and for, like, hours on endwhere mom doesn't even know what

(22:38):
happens. Right?
And we just that's so foreignfor us today where, you know,
I'm scared to let my kids go outin the cul de sac because we
have our cul de sac has beenvery busy for the last week, and
there's a lot of people that I'mnot familiar with. And so here
I'm the mom saying, play in thebackyard. I don't know. There's
a lot of people. Right?

So so Again, I get that too. I think you you have
to know your place and where youlive. But as far as what inter
uninterrupted play looks like,it really is where you have no
expectations, and that's thehard part. I think even in play,
we as the adults put our adultbrain on it. So if they're
playing let's say they're doinga fairy.

(23:20):
They're making a little fairyhouse, and we're like, oh, I
could buy these cute littlethings at the Dollar General,
and I could put that out, and Icould go collect this for them
versus starting with thequestions. Oh, I thought we
might wanna build a fairy house.Have you seen fairies in our
house? And, you know, the childmight go, no. We don't have
fairies.
Oh, well, you should look. Ithink I saw one go by last

(23:41):
night. I wonder what we needfirst. So you can be a part of
that, but by asking thatquestion, and then you can
slowly back out of it. So if youhave a child who doesn't play,
and I hear that from parents.
Well, my kid doesn't know how toplay. Well, they probably do.
You've just jumped in too often.But the uninterrupted part is
then you back out of it, and youlet them go. You let them go

(24:03):
gather the things, and you letthem build their fairy house.
They might say, mom, can youcome play with me? And you're
like, I hate playing with kids,or I'm not good at it. All you
have to do is sit next to themand say, what do we do now? What
do you think should happen next?Just open ended questions.
But that should be the minimal.Really, what I want is them
together interacting with eachother. And to your point about

(24:26):
problem solving and and whenchildren have problems with each
other, we need our kids todevelop these problem solving
skills. If they don't havedisagreements, they are not
gonna know how to talk to aboss, to a friend, to a spouse.
They've got to start thatconflict resolution early.
Now you might have to come inbeside them and say, wow. I see

(24:47):
that you took your brother's toyaway, and he hit you on the
head. How can we make thatbetter? Oh, I could hit him on
the head back. Ask the brother.
Would that make you feel better?No. But he said I wouldn't make
him feel better. What else couldwe do? I could give him the
truck back.
Would that make you feel better?Yes. Problem solved. That time.

(25:07):
And you said it earlier.
We're tired when we have littlekids. We're exhausted. We're
already overwhelmed. But that isimportant work. That is
important work.
If you do that when they'rethree, four, five, when they're
eight, nine, 10, they won't needyou to jump in. So, again, that
goes to that uninterrupted. Youdo have to be there, but you
don't have to be all in it, andyou don't have to take over.

(25:30):
Whether it's the pretend play,whether it's the the building,
the painting. I see so manyparents when I set up an
invitation to play, they willcome in and wanna take over.
They'll do it in the name of I'mwith my child. Let's just take
coloring. Say say say a child iscoloring, and I'll see a parent
sit right beside them, and thenthey'll start drawing a tree,

(25:50):
and they'll start drawing, youknow, their name. And then
immediately, the child will stopwhat they're doing. They'll look
at the parent and say one of twothings.
Oh, could you draw this for me,friends, or mine's not as good
as yours. Throw the pencil down.That's how we have to stay out
of it. Stay don't sit down andcolor next to them. Now if they
invite you in, okay.

(26:11):
But if not, if they're overthere working and they're
collaging or they're coloring orthey're painting, let it be. Let
it be. That's where theuninterrupted play looks like.

What about coloring books? Should parents
be telling their kids to colorin the lines?

Christy, you set me up. That's a softball.
Absolutely not. I don't own it.I do own adult coloring books in
my home, but I do not ownchildren's coloring books in my
home.
I want children to see the worldthe way they see it. And the
minute we say color in thelines, we have restricted them.
We have stopped the creativity.We have taken away that

(26:46):
opportunity for them to create.It is the very opposite of
creating when they are beingtold what to do.
Now kids why do kids likecoloring books? Because they're
attached to the characters orthey think that's fun. So I get
that. So do a sticker book thenbecause that's not that's a
craft.

It's okay to do crafts.

Mhmm. Do a craft. But, really, art should be
process based 100%. There shouldnot be an end result. They get
to determine the end result.
That's how our great artists areformed. That's where they come
from. They see it, and they makeit happen. That's true art.

Yeah. I was over my mom's house. My mom, she's
very craft she's so good atthis. She is a really advanced
knitter, and she will do doodlesand things like that. And she
have you seen those reversecoloring books where they'll
have

the the black or

Yeah. They'll have the a lot. Of watercolor,
and then you see something anddraw the lines.

Oh, no. I haven't seen that.

Yeah. And so it'll just it's literally looks
like a watercolor on a page, andyou look at it and then you see
what you see. It's almost likelooking in the clouds and then
seeing animals or kinda likethat, and then you draw the
lines. And I just I was justlike, mom, you are so cool.
Like, I come over and I see hercoloring books and her knitting.

(28:05):
Yeah. And I have so much tolearn from my mom. So but,
anyway, yeah, coloring in thelines is is kind of a it's one
of those things, and it's reallyhard. And the other thing too is
that parents often feel liketheir kids are represent a
representation of how they'redoing with their homeschooling.

(28:26):
So Of course.
When so let's talk for a minuteabout this deschooling that
really is what you're talkingabout. We're deschooling you
guys right now with, like, whatis an education? Let's ask these
bigger questions so that we canactually give our kids what they
need, not what society says thatthey should do, what they
actually need. That's reallyhard when you go over to the

(28:47):
grandparents' house and the theyput down a coloring book, and
then that grandmother is saying,no. No.
No. Color in the lines. Do itthis way. Do it this way. Mhmm.
And then the mom is like, ah,right? She's kind of torn, but
then she's feeling like theparent that maybe the
grandparent is judging her andthe education that she's
providing. And that's reallyhard for us as parents with I

(29:09):
remember I had an experience atchurch one time, and my kids
learned cursive first becausewhen I started, I was a true
blue. True blue classicalhomeschooler.

Do it, girl.

Taught my kids cursive first. So but, anyway,
the my kids, they only knew howto do cursive. They were pretty
small. And they went to churchand they went to the Sunday
school, and the teacher said toprint their name. And it was
terrible.
It was terrible because onenever printed. And I remember
being mortified. What must thatteacher think of the homeschool

(29:42):
job I'm doing? Do I need to Ifelt this need to, like, defend
myself or this or that or

like Absolutely.

And and so that can be really hard. And how do
we how can we find thissecurity? And we don't wanna
make comments that are that seemjudgy back. That's not what we
wanna do. What would you say tothat?
Before we continue, I wannashare with you a program that's
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(30:08):
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(30:30):
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(30:51):
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(31:12):
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(31:32):
That'slovevery.com/christyfaith.

Well, you had a couple questions in there, so
I'm gonna tackle that's okay.No. No. No. I'm gonna try and
remember them both.
First, I'm gonna answer yoursecond question first. K. Find
your people. You have to findyour people. Yeah.
Because you might not get thatsupport out in the wild. Let's
just call it that. I have thosesame stories. I remember my
first son. Most of my kids readlate.
Some read it early. I mean,whenever whenever they're ready.

(31:59):
But I remember one particularly,he they want him to read in
Sunday school, and he couldn'tread the bible verse. And he
was, like, six and a half, maybeeven seven. He couldn't read it.
He was embarrassed, and theteacher was side eyeing me. And
so I had to have a conversationwith him and say, oh, but look
at all these things you can do.Mhmm. And you, you know, you
know that story. You could havetold that story in the bible.

(32:20):
You just didn't that readinghadn't happened yet. And that
kid, I mean, he he's always theone I always say, he almost
scored perfect on the languageart section of SAT years down
the road. I mean, it is not awhen your child reads does not
determine how smart they are.Mean, has nothing to do with
that. Yeah.
It is when their brain is readyto risk. Just like potty
training. It's not like, doesthat determine a dude's aim when

(32:42):
he was potty trained? No. Itdoesn't.
It's the same with reading. Itdoesn't. But anyway, so I would
say find your trap. You've gottahave a good support system
around you, homeschool mom, youknow, a mentor, someone who's
done it before. Join your Thrivecommunity.
You've gotta have that becauseyou're gonna need that because
it is hard, and that judgmentdoes come. If you escape that,

(33:04):
you're rare. We all have beenjudged. If you've been doing
this for any time, you've beenjudged. Mhmm.
Especially me because I'mwackadoodle. Right? I think, you
know, we chased play. We chasedmy kids' passions. We our
schooling looks so differentthan a lot of people, and that
was okay.
But I also had my tribe whobelieved in me. So find your
tribe. Back to your firstquestion talking about the

(33:25):
coloring book book at thegrandparents' house. That's a
great one because there are twoways you can go. Number one,
share your heart for play basedtheory.
I think it's okay to share it,but a lot of people aren't gonna
get it. It's it's one of thosethings I think until you buy
into it, you might not get it.Mhmm. Buy them like, one of the
books I wrote called a 100 andeasy wacky easy wacky crazy
activities is a greatgrandparent book. Hand them

(33:47):
that.
Say, here's some great things. Iwant you to have this book or or
any book. And not my book. Anybook that does that. I want you
to have this book, and these aresome fun things I want them to
do when they come to your housebecause I don't have time to do
it because I'm exhausted.
And I have the little kids, butmaybe grandparents often do have
the time. So let them be the oneto do some of the messy things.
And then lighten up. Listen. Onegrandparent comment about the

(34:11):
coloring in the lines is notgonna determine your child's
self worth.
Do I like it? No. But I reallydo care about that relationship
with that grandmother, and Ireally want you know, you want
your child to spend time withthat grandmother. So in that
case, do I think it's harmful? Idon't.
I don't. So I think it's kind ofboth end. Right? We we can
probably lighten up a little biton that, we don't do it that

(34:33):
way, and realize that they'rereally trying to make the best
with their grandchild and makememories too. So, anyway,
hopefully, that answered bothquestions.

Yeah. No. And I think it's it's nuance, depends
on the relationship and thesituation. But I do think that
because when we become reallypassionate about something and
homeschool moms, we'rededicating we're making a lot of
sacrifices to do this. A lot ofus are giving careers.
And so when we care so muchabout something, it's hard and
it hurts for someone to be like,that's ridiculous. Right? Or

(35:02):
that's behavior

or you're damaging your kids

or something. So I think that that's really
important, a really greatmessage. What I heard is in a
loving way, we can lighten up.We can lighten up. The
relationship if it's generallyhealthy.
Right? If this Correct. Yes.Narcissist and abusive. Right?
We can lighten up and a littlebit and just realize the
relationship is more important.You can have conversations with

(35:25):
your kids after. You know what Iloved about what you said
earlier about your son? Ithought you were gonna say I had
a conversation with the teacher.No.
You said I had a conversationwith my son. And I almost wanted
to cry because you had aconversation with the one that
mattered.

Correct. And always

cares what the teacher thinks? Who Correct.

Who Freaking cares.

Who cares? And, you know, I had to learn this
the hard way when I, you know,became Christy Faith is everyone
had an opinion. Everyone had anopinion. And I realized, oh,
wow. Like, these people don'teven know me.
They don't know my calling. Theydon't know my heart. They don't
know my credentials. They don'tknow and so I realized really
quickly that I had to create asmall circle, a very small

(36:10):
circle of people who actuallylike, you know, like, I had I
don't need to go into thedetails, but I think that your
message on finding your people,I think with everything we feel
passionate about in any area,that's really important. If you
are a working homeschool mom,find other working homeschool
moms.
Because the reality is we haveto homeschool differently than a

(36:33):
mom who does not is not abreadwinner too. We have to find
those people, find people whobelieve in the things that you
believe in, and and that willuplift you and always give you
the benefit of the doubt andhelp you and not judge you. And
that's what's so beautiful. Nowyou've been downplaying. You're
like, don't buy my curriculum.
Well, I want them to

be your curriculum.

Well, I do too, but I

also I really just believe in this. And I don't
want people to think I'm on herewith a sales pitch. I'm not. No.
I I want you to fall in lovewith your children.
I want you to get to know yourchildren and realize that the
connection between you and themis greater than any curriculum
you will ever ever buy. That iswhat I came on this today to

(37:17):
say. Yeah. That's so

much important. And I know that, and I see it.
But can I please ask you acouple questions about the
curriculum? Sure. You can.
So you recently did a prettymassive update, and it there was
nothing wrong with it before, bythe way. No. No. But can you
just speak a little bit to whatyou updated, what you changed,
what a mom can expect, what Iremember loving the supply lists

(37:41):
on there. Can you Yes.
When a mom opens up thiscurriculum and looks at it, how
does it help make her lifeeasier? So two questions there.
Again, sorry. Christy, can youcontrol yourself?

A clean girl. I love it. Listen. A year of
playing skillfully, I used towrite curriculum for child
development centers forprograms. I trained teachers.
I did this. It was easy for meto do, but I realized for moms
like, I had one comment. I don'toften get this comment, but
someone said, well, can I go onPinterest and find the same
stuff? I mean, you can.Especially in today's world, you

(38:12):
can find it anywhere.
It's not new information. Butwhat I did do is I offered it
from a child developmentperspective knowing that it's
developmentally appropriate forchildren ages three to seven.
And it goes some use it longer,some started earlier, but it is
it's a multi age curriculum. Sothat has stayed the same from
the first edition. You can useit many years in a row.

(38:33):
I just had a sweet mom messageme last night. She's buying the
second edition. She's been usingit for all ten years. She
adopted most of her children.They've just recently adopted a
new two year old, so she wantedthe new edition for that.
I did take out the faithinformation. The first edition,
this is one key thing. It didhave some bible verses and some
holiday activities around faith,And we did have families who

(38:55):
wanted it neutral. And so what Idid is I kinda pulled it out. We
still offer a faith guide.
It's free. You don't have to payfor that on the website. You get
it. But we pulled it out of themain curriculum for families who
might want a more neutralcurriculum. So we did that.
We added new books in. We addeda bigger book list. I went
through every activity makingsure that it was processed, open

(39:15):
ended, allowed for uninterruptedplay. I just looked at it again
with fresh eyes after all theseyears of writing it. I put more
details in the beginning.
How do you set up your day? Howdo you set up the materials? How
do you set up your schedule?Gave you a sample schedule. I've
tried to include everything.
Before we would say, hey. Youneed to buy the homegrown
preschooler, which is anotherbook, and this. And I really

(39:36):
just try to put those meatythings in this because money.
And I didn't up the price. Ikept the price the same as
before even though prices havedefinitely skyrocketed since we
first put this out.
But, again, I know it's hard.It's hard to afford a lot of
these things. So that's kind ofthe main things. You know, it
gives you a monthly checklist.You remember this where you can
pick and choose.

(39:57):
I want you to repeat it. Ifyou're a working mom, it can
work with your schedule. WhatI'd love the most is there's no
Monday, September 10, do this.Tuesdays because that never
happens in our world, you guys.The toilet overflows.
The kids shoved the Lego downthere. Someone's thrown up. The
dog has beat on the it neverhappens the way you plan it. So
this gives you the freedom withthat freedom without the guilt

(40:19):
because often, I don't knowabout you, but I would feel
guilty if I didn't get it donethe way it was supposed to. And
so this kinda takes that away.
But that's some of the majorupdates that we've done to it
and are proud of.

Yeah. And that is so true. I often tell moms
because I I get a lot of newhomeschooling moms, and they're
asking me about lesson planning.And I was like, I stopped the
day I quit teaching was the dayI stopped lesson planning.

Yes, girl.

Anyone is asking you to lesson plan, run-in the
other direction because that isnot how we do things on this
side of the Internet.Homeschooling mom

Same.

Please don't be lesson planning because it just
makes you it makes you live inthe gap, in that gap. Oh, I'm
not done. I'm not where I needto be. I didn't finish this. I
didn't do this.
It's just that such a terribleplace to be homeschooling from,
especially when we want this tojust breathe life into our kids'
childhood, and we wanna beenjoying this too. One last

(41:13):
question, very concrete. Howmany hours a day should we be
homeschooling our littlepreschool kids? What should it
look like?

Well, it should look like as as you live. So you
cannot put a time on it becauseif you let them come in the
kitchen and cut up vegetables,that's schooling. If you let
them help wash your car, sortthe socks, that's schooling. If
you sing a song with them everymorning, get get them weight to
get them out of bed, that'sschooling. There shouldn't be a
sit down.
The biggest sit down you do witha preschooler, and I am all

(41:42):
first grade, is reading to them.Reading. Have them tell you a
story, journaling Mhmm.Painting. As you go all day, you
spread it out throughout theday.
Start your day with sensory.Lots of sensory that awakens the
brain. You always should startwith big movement, deep breaths,
some sensory. Get get your handsmessy because that that fires up

(42:03):
those neurons. So that's a hardone.
It's as you go as you live.

Yeah. And you know what we coach moms to do
sometimes because this is such athis is so far down in terms of
deschooling because it's so hardto conceptualize play as being
valuable in our culture. Right.And we we wanna have something
to show for the education thatwe're giving our kids. Something
that we do when a mom is reallystruggling is we just tell her
at the end of the day, justwrite down what your kid did.

(42:30):
Just write it down. Yes. Youcould literally throw it in chat
the next day and ask chat GBTwhat the value was, and it'll
spit out all this stuff.

And That's fabulous,

actually. Need if you are a mom right now who's
thinking, but I just need toknow what I'm what that this is
valuable. I just need to knowwhat I've done. I I gotta have
something to you know, we alsohave a lot of moms who their
husbands are maybe on the fenceand, like, letting them
experiment with homeschooling,and maybe they wanna see
concrete stuff. So this is justone little suggestion.

(43:01):
If you really do need that, ifyou need that concrete, write
down what your kid did. Lateron, if you need to, you'll
probably start training yourselfto actually see the value in it,
the academic and educationalvalue in it. But until then,
yeah, you can throw it in chatGPT. It'll spit out the value,
and then you'll have, like, anotebook a notebook that is
evidence of the amazingeducation that you're giving

your kids. And you just look at the things I
mentioned, sorting socks. Whatis that? Well, it's obviously
it's math because you'resorting, but you're also
language arts as you're talkingwhose socks are these? You can
do more math concepts.
Are they bigger than my socks orsmaller than my socks? You're
setting the table. You're doingorder. You're doing critical
thinking skills. Again, you'realso doing language arts with
that.
Telling stories, reading books,all of that. It it when you

(43:47):
start thinking specifically ofhow this one small thing is
learning, it really is mindboggling why we all aren't just
playing more because it reallydoes do wonders for the brain
and for the foundation. And letme finish with this, Christy.
Here's the thing to askyourself. Has it been in the

(44:07):
hand?
If it hasn't been in the hand,it's not gonna be in the brain.
Kids need it concretely beforethey can get it abstractly, the
information. So if you wannateach them about circus, go to
the circus. If you wanna teachthem the concept of a farm, get
yourself out to a farm. If youwanna teach them an apple, give
them an apple.
It has to be in the hand beforethat concept can get in the

(44:30):
brain.

And that reminds me too Sarah Collins who she is
occupational therapist whohomeschools, and she actually is
one of the coaches in ThriveHomeschool Community. And I had
her on the podcast, and shetalked about this very thing
where we need to be touchingthese things. We need it in our
real world because the twodimensional screen is actually
harming. It's it's Correct. Tobe out there.

(44:53):
We need that. We need to besurrounded. We need to smell it,
have all the senses. So, I mean,could you put on a YouTube video
about what it's like to live ona farm? Yes.
But it wouldn't do not it's noteven a comparison to it. Yeah.
And we're not saying this to putmore pressure on yourself. We're
saying this to be free. You canfree yourself.

You'd think about if you birthed your kids. I
adopted most of my kids, but Idid birth a couple. And a lot of
people tried to tell me whatbirthing a kid was like. Guess
what? It was not like they said.
I read books about it. I didn'twatch a YouTube video, but had
I, it still wouldn't have hit itright.

Yeah. Yeah.

That's what it is for kids. We can tell them all
day. But when they experience itfor themselves, they get it, and
they remember it, and theirbrain, it's like sticky glued
for their brain. They keep it inthere.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, Kathy, you are really a gift to
the homeschooling communitybecause you are one of the
voices in our space that ishelping us love our children
better. And for that, I amreally I'm really grateful, and
I love your messaging. I lovedyour curriculum when I did it.

(46:01):
I still tell mamas to use it,and I thank you so much for your
time coming on the show today toencourage Thanks, Crystal.
Homeschooling moms with thoselittles, and you don't have to
sit them down in front ofworkbooks. You can go and have
fun.

Absolutely. And thank you for what you're doing
too. I love that you're outthere and screaming it from the
rooftops that that we need to beinvolved in our kids' lives and
show up, and I appreciate thatmessage.

Great. Well, thank you for coming on the
show. We're gonna put everythingthat she mentioned in the show
notes, links to all of herresources, her Yeah. Socials,
her website, and everythingbecause I know mamas are gonna
be wanting to know where to findthe resources that you provide
our community. I so appreciateyou coming on today.

Thanks, Christy. I enjoyed it.

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Ep. 81 - Homeschooling Preschool: How To Get The Most Out Of The Early Years

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep. 81 - Homeschooling Preschool: How To Get The Most Out Of The Early Years