October 15, 2025 • 48 mins
In this heartfelt and deeply honest episode, Christy-Faith sits down with Jake, a homeschool graduate, artist, and entrepreneur whose story proves that beauty really can rise from ashes.
From growing up in a turbulent, narcissistic household to building a thriving six-figure tie-dye brand with more than 325,000 followers, Jake opens up about the reality of his upbringing, the healing power of homeschooling, and the resilience it takes to rebuild from trauma.
You’ll hear why homeschooling became a lifeline for Jake and his mom, how individualized learning helped him find purpose and creativity, and what it means to heal generational wounds while holding on to faith, humor, and hope.
Because sometimes the most powerful education doesn’t happen in a classroom; it happens in the quiet strength of a family choosing freedom, healing, and redemption.
The Christy-Faith Show | Ep. 87
🛠️ LINKS & RESOURCES
Free Homeschooling Resources
Find everything you need to simplify and strengthen your homeschool journey:
👉 https://christy-faith.com/links
Thrive Homeschool Community
Join Christy-Faith’s online community for mentorship, encouragement, and real friendships that last:
👉 https://christy-faith.com/thrive
Christy-Faith’s List
A curated directory of homeschool-friendly service providers, businesses, and colleges:
👉 https://christy-faiths-list.com
Christy-Faith’s Book: Homeschool Rising
📖 Encouragement and strategy for starting strong or starting over:
👉 https://christy-faith.com/book-homeschool-rising
🎙️ SHOW SPONSORS
BJU Press Homeschool
✔ Flexible structure with a biblical worldview
✔ Built-in critical thinking and hands-on learning
👉 https://www.bjupresshomeschool.com/christy
CTC Math
✔ Online, self-paced K–12 math curriculum
✔ 50% off plus a free trial for Christy-Faith listeners
👉 https://ctcmath.com/how-it-works/home-school?tr_id=CF
Lovevery Reading Skill Set
✔ Science-based, game-driven reading program for young learners
✔ 98% of kids improve their scores within six weeks
👉 https://lovevery.com/christyfaith
(use code CHRISTY10 for 10% off)
👀 REFERENCES IN EPISODE
Jake’s Tie-Dye Shop – Handmade clothing and content from Jake himself
🔗 https://jakestiedye.com
Thrive Homeschool Community Mentorship Program – Support for moms navigating hard family situations
🔗 https://christy-faith.com/thrive
Book Recommendation: The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk – On healing from trauma
🔗 https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/resources/the-body-keeps-the-score
🎧 SHOW RECAP
✅ Jake’s journey from an abusive home to a thriving creative business
✅ How homeschooling became a safe haven and foundation for self-discovery
✅ Why individualized education can nurture entrepreneurial thinking
✅ The role of parental honesty and healing after narcissistic abuse
✅ Encouragement for moms facing toxic marriages and feeling alone
✅ A reminder that mistakes and healing can coexist—and families can recover
If you’ve ever wondered whether homeschooling can thrive even in broken circumstances, this episode is living proof. Healing is possible, families can rebuild, and the next generation can rise brighter than ever.
📌 Be sure to like, subscribe, and share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that there’s beauty in the ashes.
💬 What’s one way you’re bringing healing and freedom into your family’s story? Share your thoughts in the comments.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Christy-Faith (00:00):
I want you to see the beauty in the ashes here.
(00:02):
Share a little bit about thathistory.
Jake (00:05):
They got divorced when I was 16. My dad, in a few words,
not a great guy. Lots ofgaslighting. One day, it's
incredible that we werehomeschooled and what we did
that day. The next day, I can'tbelieve you are treating the
kids this way.
Christy-Faith (00:30):
Welcome, friends, to today's episode of the
Christy Face Show. I might be alittle bit unhinged because I
have a friend on today. AndJake, we have been talking about
this. Has it been three years?Or Has it been three?
About we've been talking abouthaving you on the show for so
long, and I gotta tell you, Jakeis one of my favorite people on
(00:53):
the planet. I think it's reallyimportant for the listeners of
my show to experience ahomeschool graduate, young ish
adult who was homeschooled allthe way. What are they up to?
What are they doing? What'stheir perspective on their
homeschool experience?
And today, I just wanna warn youladies, we're gonna go deep
(01:16):
because Jake is a deep person.We love talking about real life,
and I have some heavy hittingquestions for him to really get
to the bottom of how he feelsabout homeschooling, what is he
up to now. I wanna share withyou a brief background, his bio
so that you know who we're gonnabe talking to today. Is this an
(01:39):
episode that you're gonna wantyour kids to listen to? Maybe,
maybe not, maybe of a certainage.
Right, Jake? Maybe, like, ifthey're 12 and up because we're
gonna be talking about someheavy things. Yeah. But I wanna
share with you who Jake is andhow I even met this amazing kid.
Can I call you a kid?
Can I feel like a big sister?
Jake (01:56):
I don't find it derogatory.
Christy-Faith (01:58):
You are really impressive young adult, and I
absolutely adore you. So let'stalk about who Jake is,
everybody. Jake is ahomeschooled tie dye artist who
launched his business during hissenior year of high school. What
began as a creative projectquickly grew into a thriving
multiple 6 figure brand with aloyal following of over 325,000
(02:24):
followers across social media.His bold handcrafted designs
resonate with a diverse audiencefrom hippies to housewives and
everyone in between.
Jake's vibrant creations bringcolor, joy, and individuality to
wardrobes around the world,proving that passion and hustle
can die outside of the lines. Ijust love that bio. Jake is a
(02:50):
heavy hitter. He has a massivesocial media following. Your
business is in a multiple sixfigures.
I wanna talk about how that cameto be because we are called
influencers. Right? And we havebusinesses. So I want to talk a
little bit about that today. Butfirst, let's rewind.
How did I even meet you?
Jake (03:10):
So Christy and I met through my mom actually, because
my mom Denise is a part ofChristy Faith LLC, the big
brand. She works in ThriveHomeschool Community. My mom
Denise is one of the mentorsthere. My mom found you on
TikTok, and then you guysbecame, like, TikTok friends. So
it's even before Thrive was athing, I think.
(03:31):
Was it?
Christy-Faith (03:32):
So I consider her one of my mentors. When I
started Thrive, I said tomyself, why don't I offer these
moms my lifeline? Your mom hasbecome one of my dearest friends
of my entire life. She raisedawesome kids. And then I got to
know you and just watched you onsocial media, and I just have
been cheering you on.
You're such a huge creator. Iwanna ask you, how did you get
(03:56):
into running a tie dye company?Did it start with social no. It
started as a senior high schoolproject. Right?
And then how did you get intosocial media?
Jake (04:04):
So I started my business in high school. Getting ready to
graduate, it was the peak ofeveryone in my life, especially
the most annoying adults that Iknew, all love and peace. The
most adult they were like, whatdo you wanna do? What do you
wanna do? And I was like, I needyou to step back.
I don't know. I wasn't reallyfeeling like an an engineer, an
attorney, a lawyer. I was like,ah. And I wasn't really keen on
(04:25):
going to college to figure thatout. Since there wasn't a clear
path me, I decided and talked tomy mom about taking a gap year.
I was like, okay. We gottafigure this out. And so I was
like writing an attributes listof like what I wanted to do. I
love to be creative. I had beentie dying for years at that that
point just as a hobby.
I thought I wanted to be a fineartist or an animator for Disney
(04:47):
for a while. I was like, that'sthat's so competitive and so
incredible. I was like, let'spivot to something a little
artistic but also more flexibleand I can get into and carve my
own way. It boiled down to whodoesn't need a tie dye shirt.
It's colorful and fun andeveryone turns out just a little
bit different, so there's thatvariety and spice.
I could start a tie dyebusiness. I was 17 turning 18. I
(05:10):
was like, is that okay if I,like, don't go to college and,
like, take more than a gap year?And she was like, why not? Do it
now before you're 35 and, like,in a career that you find that
you hate and that is sucking thesoul out of your body.
If it doesn't work, then great.You have time to do something
else. Since you don't know,let's try. I quickly got onto
(05:31):
Instagram. All the research thatI had done, they're like, you
need a Pinterest, you need anInstagram, you need a Twitter,
you need a Facebook, and you'dbe posting on these things.
Every platform you you need topost multiple times a day at
different times, differenttypes. I was like, I think I'm
gonna have an aneurysm. I waslike, I can't. This is crazy. I
don't even eat that many timesin a day.
Get away from me. That's crazy.And so I focused on Instagram,
(05:54):
narrowed it down, and thenslowly that kicked off.
Instagram has been Instagram isthey're all different beasts. So
I got my Instagram and then aFacebook, and then what really
kicked it off was TikTok.
TikTok is what really took itthere. I think it was 2021. It
was, like, 2021 when I startedposting videos on TikTok. So I'd
(06:15):
been running my business forabout three years at that point.
Thankfully, it had grew kindslowly and then sprinkled
throughout, would have what Iwould call like a viral video.
Especially at the time, I had acouple in my first few months
that broke 200,000 views. I waslike, I'm going to Hollywood.
I'm famous. I was like, buy myticket, quit my job. No.
Of course not. But those likereally those those those viral
(06:39):
videos really helped to boost myplatform. And then, what was it?
Two years ago now? 2023?
Yeah. So 2023, I joined YouTubeand started posting YouTube
shorts, and YouTube took it evenfurther than Instagram did.
Christy-Faith (06:54):
One of the reasons I had Jake on today is
because homeschool moms see thematrix. We see that college is
not for everybody. Do you regretin any way now that you're in
your mid twenties that youdidn't go to a four year college
and get one of those traditionaldegrees?
Jake (07:11):
To be honest, yes and no. There's different reasons why,
like, looking back and be like,ugh, like, it would have been so
fun to go to college. It wouldhave been so I didn't go to
college, you know. But alsobeing in fairness, going back to
me at 18, I wasn't very businessfocused. I was thinking, I wanna
do something creative and see ifI can turn it into a business,
especially 18 year old Jake.
(07:31):
I don't regret not going tocollege. I because I would have
gotten a business degree. Idon't knock college for what I'm
doing or for what someone elsewants to do. But looking back,
sure, maybe it would have beenuseful, but also I haven't
needed it yet. So I'm very gladthat I didn't do it, didn't go
into debt for it, and didn'ttake a gamble on what 18 year
(07:52):
old Jake wanted to get a degreein and what he thought he might
be doing in seven years.
Like, so kind of only, like,wish I had gone so I could say
that I did, which is not a goodenough reason to go. Yeah. So
no.
Christy-Faith (08:07):
Yeah. Yeah. And you know, you bring up a really
good point. The pressure thepressure that eighteen year old
kids have in our country to picka major, know what they wanna
do, and get on that track. And Ican't tell you how many people
think they want this, and thenthey get into it.
I loved history always. I alwaysknew I was gonna get a graduate
(08:30):
degree in history, which I did.In my mind, I was gonna be a
college professor. And so thatway, I could just talk about
history to interested studentsall day long. That's a dream.
Yeah. It's a dream. Right? Butmy parents did not have the
skills or foresight to guide meat all in that pursuit in higher
(08:51):
academics. My dad has a graduatedegree, but he is a extremely
accomplished engineer, and heworked in aerospace for most of
his career.
So when you're going to thehumanities, that's a lot
different. I never did shadowdays or internships during my
high school years partiallybecause I was so strapped down
with getting my straight a's andplaying varsity basketball and
(09:13):
being active in youth group thatI was really too busy. Mhmm. So
the sad thing is once I waswrapping up my graduate degree
and I got a job as an adjunctprofessor teaching freshmen, you
know, US history, you know, thebasics. I hated it.
So I start teaching college, andthe administration is cares
(09:34):
nothing about the students, andall they were caring about is
what I was gonna publish. Thatwas it. They did not care. And I
was like, is this what it'sactually like? And I poked
around and realized, okay.
Yeah. That is kind of what it'slike. So I went in a different
direction and here we are now. Iam thankful because I am a
published author, and I amthankful for the research
(09:56):
skills. You have to be to be agood historian, you have to have
responsible scholarship, which Ibelieve I have that a lot of
people don't.
So I think that's reallyimportant that your mom gave you
the space at the age of 18 tosay, let's pause. Let's not
determine your entire futureright this second. You're still
a kid. Right? You're only, like,one year into being an adult.
(10:18):
Yeah.
Jake (10:19):
Then 18
Christy-Faith (10:19):
And I
Jake (10:20):
It's still teen. Eighteen eighteen is baby.
Christy-Faith (10:23):
Yes. Absolutely. Now I do wanna say, people are
listening to this show. You'reeither gonna have a blast or
you're gonna be annoyed. But Iwanna talk a second about your
tie dye because it's kind of abig deal, your quality and the
artistic nature.
You're not just like a tie dyecompany. Can you just give like
a thirty second, like, what'syour onlyness factor with your
(10:46):
tie dye?
Jake (10:46):
This might give me trouble in the tie dye community. No.
I'm just kidding. We're allchill. But like some tie dye
artists come after me for notdoing more intricate designs.
They're like, you're so simple,they're so boring. And I was
like, they're wearable andapproachable. Hey. Hey. Also, I
don't wanna do those crazyintricate designs.
Like, that doesn't sound fun tome. So I found like when I was
(11:09):
starting my business, I waslike, what? Like there's
something missing I I found inthe tie dye market. I wanted
something more approachable andwearable instead of like the
crazy intricate. There's geodes,there's mandalas.
I've seen people tie dye likefull portraits of cartoon
characters into t shirts. Thatis artistry. I wouldn't even
wanna wear that shirt. I wouldstain it. I'm messy.
(11:31):
So I like the more simple, themore classic designs like this
one. It's just green and whiteswirl. That's it.
Christy-Faith (11:39):
I think you have some pretty cool fancy designs.
What I'm hearing is that you'recreating wearable clothing. If
you were to spend twenty fourhours on one particular shirt,
you'd probably have to chargethousands for it. You're a high
quality clothing company. You'renot selling artwork.
Is that what you're saying?
Jake (11:53):
Exactly. I wanted it to be high quality t shirts. I wanted
the colors to stay vibrant. Iwanted to find, like, the best.
I wanted to be like the target.
High quality mid tier. You know,you're gonna get something good,
something fun and fresh with acool customer experience. Every
t shirt, every design has adifferent name. Like a fun silly
(12:14):
name. This one is named thegarden gnome for no reason.
Yeah. We've got the cutiepatootie. I believe you have a
sweatshirt. It's the acidoxalotl. So I just wanted
wearable high quality clothingthat brightens up your day,
brightens up your wardrobe, anddoesn't break the bank.
And, like, is a fun experienceto order, like, beginning to
(12:34):
end.
Christy-Faith (12:35):
You definitely stand apart with the quality of
clothing that you make. Now I'msure people are curious. Okay.
How did a tie dye company popoff? And I think part of your
secret is that you're actually areally talented content creator.
Jake (12:49):
Do you think so?
Christy-Faith (12:49):
And you kinda have like dude, I know so. My
girls ask to watch you, and wejust sit there and binge your
videos because you have thisthing. It's like no part twos.
Mhmm. And you're actuallyshowing the tie dye process.
Tell me, in your own evaluation,what about you and the way you
(13:10):
make your social media has madeyou pop off? I'm so curious what
your interpretation of it. Andthen I'll tell you mine. As a
homeschool mom who values afamily together approach and
leans towards the classical andCharlotte Mason styles, I often
struggle to bring my educationalvision to life with my kids
diverse ages and learning needs.With all our interests and super
packed schedule, bridging thatgap between the dreamy
(13:31):
homeschool I want and reality, Igotta be honest.
It's a challenge. Now, yes, Iknow perfection isn't the goal.
But if you're listening and youcould use a little easing of
your mental load in your day today, I found a resource that has
become the quiet hero of ourroutine and it could be a really
great option for you too. BJUPress homeschool curriculum. Now
many think that BJU Presshomeschool is solely an all in
(13:53):
one option and though it doesexcel in that role, did you know
you can also opt for specificcourses and tailor them to fit
your family's needs just as Ihave?
BJU Press Homeschool providesthe perfect balance of structure
and flexibility and easilycomplements my family's mixed
age family together on the couchlearning style. They are second
to none in integrating abiblical worldview, stimulating
(14:15):
critical thinking, and offeringtons of hands on activities in
the lessons. To find out how BJUPress Homeschool can come
alongside you in yourhomeschooling goals too. Visit
bjupresshomeschool.com or clickthe link in the show notes.
Jake (14:29):
Well, first of all, thank you. That's very kind. But I
think no part twos is a big partof it. Like, that was something
that drove me crazy. In anyvideo anywhere online, they're
like, we're out of time.
Follow for part two. And Iimmediately am infuriated. And
I'm like, don't pee on my legand tell me it's raining. You
had plenty of time. Don't lie tomy face.
I feel very sorry about thesethings. But when I was starting,
(14:52):
I was trying to find a formula Icould follow. Because when I
started my TikTok, which was2021, I was the business was as
big as it had been and I wasstill doing everything myself.
Replying to customers, makingcontent, making the t shirts,
keeping up with inventory,bookkeeping, banking. You know
about this.
You run multiple businesses.Mhmm. You're boss lady
(15:14):
extraordinaire. So the idea ofneeding to get on social media
to promote my business was like,oh my gosh, pull my teeth out. I
can't do anything else.
How dare I need to add more tomy plate? So I was trying to
find a good formula I couldfollow that would be like my
signature and also not too faroutside of things I was already
(15:36):
doing. So I put a camera aboveme putting the color on the t
shirts and I can show you whatit looks like after, like
process results. Everybody lovesthe process and results and I'm
already doing this. So what'sthe extra time and energy cost
of just filming it?
I'm not taking time out of myday to do the different trends
and keep up with this, that, andthe other. If I have time for
(15:58):
those and they seem interestingto me, I will absolutely take
time out of my day and film,like, a silly transition, a fun
little video. But just doingthat, I can't possibly keep up.
I've got shirts to make. Thevisual cues of over the head,
making tie dye, knowing the nopart two with the voice over,
those pillars kind of built mesome recognitions, like
instantly recognizable.
You see that kind of video. It'snot like, oh, of course, you
(16:20):
know that's Jake. But if youhave seen my videos before, you
know, oh, this is a Jake videotalking Yes. And saying my
ridiculous jokes and making mybad puns and
Christy-Faith (16:29):
doing the best. Okay. But be honest. I know it's
one thing you just set thecamera up and film your hands,
but how long are you spending onthose scripts? Because they are
hilarious and they're soentertaining.
Jake (16:40):
Oh, well, first of all, thank you. It depends. Sometimes
I can bust out a script in five,six minutes and sometimes I'm
slaving away at this keyboard tobe like, what am I gonna say
about this? Beginning to end inthe editing process of writing
the script, filming it, cuttingthe video together, I can have a
video edited together in fifteenminutes, twenty minutes.
Christy-Faith (16:59):
I'm so mad at you right now. Do you know how much
time I spend scripting andfilming?
Jake (17:04):
I don't. But that's why I was like, I can't Christy, I'm
not doing that. If I'm notalready doing it and filming it
Yeah. That's where I don't know.I don't know if that's like pure
I'm not doing it.
Pure pressure doesn't
Christy-Faith (17:16):
I love that. We do different things. Right? You
have a physical product. Butwhat's so cool is a lot of
people have physical products,but you really figured out a
niche way to highlight this is areally cool product.
These are all handmade. This isthe owner operator. And I think
that's kind of the formula forsocial media too, and why large
(17:36):
companies have had such a hardtime getting a presence, and
they end up hiring their faces.That's what people want. They
want to know who they're buyingfrom.
Yep. Right? In what ways do youthink homeschooling contributed
to your work ethic and yourability to build this business?
Jake (17:53):
I think that it really helped me with flexibility,
like, is being able to pivot ona dime if I need to. Even in
content creation as well, like,oh, I'm not feeling it. I can do
this later. Being able to shiftmy schedule and do what works
for me and my family, and thenalso individuality, like being
(18:14):
homeschooled, it was like, whatdoes Jake's education look like?
What does Jake's day look like?
When does Jake need to do hismath for the best outcome? Maybe
we start in the morning with artfirst thing and then do math at
3PM. Being able to flex it andchange it had had like
incredible. And so movingforward in my life and carving
(18:36):
it forward of like, well, whatworks for me? I can create the
life that works for me and I'mnot super bound by too much.
Of course, we still all have topay taxes which sucks. I wish I
could carve my way around those,but I don't. I pay my taxes. Let
it be known. I know.
Don't come after me.
Christy-Faith (18:52):
Well, I think that homeschooling naturally
lends itself towardsentrepreneurship.
Jake (19:00):
Sure.
Christy-Faith (19:00):
I know your mom does it. You know, you can
homeschool in a way where you'redoing school, like a Christian
version maybe of publicschooling at home. You can have
your kids sit down, and you canbe teaching them their lessons.
But what's really cool and whatI love to break moms out of,
because, you know, immediatelywhen they join Thrive Homeschool
Community, we start deschoolingthose women as fast as we
(19:21):
possibly can so we can opentheir eyes to a brighter future
and the possibilities for theirkids. Not just preparing them
for college and work.
Like, what if they wantsomething else? And I think that
homeschooling and there'snothing wrong with any path, but
I do I will say that I thinkthat the traditional school path
does not prepare kids forentrepreneurship and individual
(19:42):
individualism and things likethat, partially because if you
read chapter three of my book,no pressure, Jake, I go through
the history. That's literallywhy the school system was
created. It was created tocreate conformity and like
mindedness and not freethinkers. I think that what
you're describing is very muchlike your mom almost created a
(20:02):
breeding ground forentrepreneurship and just the
other thing too that I think isreally unique about you and
other homeschoolers who havebecome successful entrepreneurs
is that you were taught that youcan learn whatever you need to
learn.
Mhmm. You were taught that aneducation is memorize this
(20:24):
content. I'm gonna test youFriday.
Jake (20:26):
Mhmm.
Christy-Faith (20:27):
And then that means you're educated. Right?
How would you describe that? Howwould you describe what your mom
built? And by the way, I'm usingthe word mom and not dad.
Talk to me about that a littlebit. That environment, you know,
Charlotte Mason often is quotedto say, and she did say this,
that education is an atmosphere.So what type of atmosphere did
(20:49):
your mom create that made youbelieve that you could do
whatever you wanted to do?
Jake (20:55):
Oh, absolutely. My mom was it was what does Jake need?
First of all, it started withwhat did Jake need for his
education, and then secondly, itwas what interests Jake? I'm
gonna stop talking in thirdperson. What interested me?
So I was able to aside from thecore subjects, I was able to
say, I'm really interested inmarine biology for my science
(21:17):
this semester. Or I'm reallyinterested in forensic science
for this semester. Being able towork together with the teacher
on what interests me in myeducation and what I might wanna
do when I grow up or maybe justwhat interests me that semester.
My mom built a pretty solidenvironment of like what do you
(21:37):
wanna do? What do you wanna be?
Let's follow that. Being able tobe self led in what interests me
and then self sufficiency ingetting that done and finding
the answers to my questions. AsI went through high school, I
was able to fold in my businessto my school, my senior year. A
good chunk of my senior yearbecause I front loaded my high
(21:58):
school career, I did most of thework freshman and sophomore
year, And then junior well, yearwas hard. But and then senior
year was lighter.
So I was able to carve out timeof my school day. I took a
business math course. I was ableto dedicate time to research
into different social like whatthe social media aspects are,
different selling platforms,what what it was. I was
(22:20):
educating myself on how I wasgoing to run this business. She
just encouraged me in that.
She didn't know more than I did,but she was like, let's figure
it out. That was always theanswer. Let's look into it
together. Or she would say, yougo figure it out. This is later
and this is later in highschool.
I wasn't six. Or I was like,mom, what are we doing for math?
And she's like, you figure itout. We're not doing that. Don't
(22:41):
worry.
Really, was able to tailor eacheducation to each child. I have
two older sisters. As each of uswent through school, she had to
restart because we were we allare so different and learn so
differently. What worked forCaitlin, my oldest sister, in
geometry didn't work for me. Itwasn't just like, well, suffer
(23:02):
through it.
You gotta do it because that'swhat the the patch homeschool
course is. The patch homeschooleducation. It's like it being
individualized and tailored toeach child's need was it. That
was paramount. It wasincredible.
Christy-Faith (23:17):
Right. I think she was ahead of her time in
that because
Jake (23:21):
I agree.
Christy-Faith (23:22):
You know, back in the day, you had to choose from,
like, three curricula and thensit your kid down and do that.
People don't know this aboutDenise. She is, in her own
right, quite a forward thinker.She ran a massively successful
nonprofit for women in Africa. Isee that transferring into your
homeschooling.
(23:42):
Absolutely. I wanna make sure wehave time for the next topic
because one of the reasons why Iwanted to have you on was not
just because you're really cooland entertaining and fun and I
love you, which is true. But oneof the reasons why I asked your
mother to be a mentor in ThriveHomeschool Community is because
of your dad and her formerhusband.
Jake (24:02):
Mhmm.
Christy-Faith (24:03):
And because the reality is that we have a lot of
sick and toxic or narcissisticpeople in our lives. I knew that
I needed someone who hadexpertise in this area to help
mentor the moms, particularlybecause I married Scott when I
was 22, and we have had ahealthy marriage the entire
(24:25):
time. So I can't pretend torelate to somebody who maybe
married the wrong person. I lovemy husband. I feel incredibly
blessed.
I have That's incredible. In myareas in parenting and education
and things like that. But whenit comes to bad marriages, I'm
not a therapist, and I don'thave experience with being
married to a loser dude. SoRight. Would you share a little
(24:47):
bit this is where we might godeep, ladies, but I think this
is where you're gonna find a lotof encouragement because I want
you to see the beauty in theashes here because there were
some really dark days for youguys, for your mom.
Share a little bit about thathistory, that divorce. I'm
asking him direct questions, youguys, because I have permission
(25:08):
ahead that he wants to go therebecause he wants to encourage
you guys. So I'm not corneringJake in any way right now. Would
you share that history before Iask you further? Before we
continue, I wanna share with youa program that's been a game
changer for our homeschool.
At our center, we instructed andhelped kids through pretty much
every math program on the marketand know firsthand just how
(25:30):
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interactive lessons that allowkids to learn at their own pace.
It does all the teaching andgrading so you don't have to and
(25:52):
their adaptive lessons adjust soyour child is progressing
confidently.
With CTC Math, your child isgetting a top notch education
and you just made yourhomeschool life easier. Visit
ctcmath.com to start your freetrial today or click the link in
the show notes. I've got somenews. There's a new reading
curriculum that ditchesworkbooks and drills for fun and
games. If you're thinking funand games sounds a little too
(26:15):
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(26:38):
and parent educators love it,and it works. Visit
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That'slovevery.com/christyfaith.
Jake (26:56):
So my parents were married for twenty five years. They got
divorced when I was 16. Mysisters were 16, 18, and 20,
roughly. My dad, in a few words,not a great guy. Lots of
screaming, lots of yelling, lotsof gaslighting.
Everyone knows that word now.Gaslighting, change of behavior.
One day he's this, one day he'sthat. One day it's incredible
(27:19):
that we were homeschooled andwhat we did that day. The next
day, I can't believe you aretreating the kids this way.
Like, that's just an examplebecause we're doing a homeschool
podcast. But anything andeverything, it was tough. I'm
gonna be fully honest, intherapy right now, working
through some of this stuffbecause it does catch up with
you. You do not escape it. Youdon't work around it.
(27:40):
The body keeps the score. As Itold Christy before, life was
tough especially because I was alot more soft and sensitive than
my sisters were. I felt muchmore in tune to the grown ups in
my life. I remember maybe agefive or six realizing that I
didn't like my dad. That I waslike, this guy sucks.
(28:02):
When I would try to connect withhim and have a conversation,
nobody was home. No one wasthere bouncing back with me at
all. And, like, we didn'tconnect on any level, anything
that I would bring him to belike, well, this is what I like
to do. I love to cook and tobake or to paint or to do
whatever that wasn't goodenough, it was wrong, it was
bad, why would you do that?That's stupid.
(28:25):
And then everything alwaysevolved into me getting in
trouble somehow for any numberof reasons that didn't make any
sense.
Christy-Faith (28:33):
Your mom I mean, when she describes her
experience in Thrive HomeschoolCommunity, she describes him as
a monster. Yeah. Would you agreewith that description?
Jake (28:44):
Yes. Yes, I would. I would.
Christy-Faith (28:47):
Yeah. I think the point that is important for moms
to hear is well, let's let'sjust go back to the main
purpose. It's like the beauty inthe ashes. Right? There's a lot
of kids like you who graduatehomeschooling and then make
homeschooling the enemy.
They blame homeschooling. Theydon't blame their really abusive
parents. It's kind of unfair toour culture what they're doing
(29:07):
to homeschooling because thevehicle is not the problem. Bad
people are the problem. And whatI know from your mom is you
spent a lot of years in fight orflight and your mother did too.
So share with us how yourparents' divorce affected you.
Jake (29:22):
Absolutely. So I was 16 when my parents got divorced.
And right off the top, I wasthrilled. I was so excited to
get that man out of my house. Astheir marriage progressed, he
got less and less tethered toany sort of mask he could wear
of acting normal and not flyingoff the handle over ridiculous
(29:42):
stuff.
As he got older and theirmarriage progressed, he got
worse and worse. Growing up inthat, I was like, he's gotta get
out of here. He he needs to getout of here. I was excited for
them to split up, which is maybenot a super popular answer. But
like I said before, I felt verytapped in to my grown ups, which
I also believe was a fight orflight type of response.
(30:04):
Needed to keep tabs on the grownups in my life of what's gonna
happen next, what's going on. Iwas so pleased to be able to
live in my own home and dowhatever I wanted without fear
of being ridiculed, spoken downto, yelled at, and getting in
trouble. Not to speak for mysisters, but they did not see it
that way. They were, I think,completely blindsided which
(30:27):
surprised me quite a bit. I waslike, you're not picking up on
this loser we have in our house?
And they're like, that's ourdad. I was like, I don't care
how you spell his name. This guyblows. It's been a process. And
so now like I shared a fewminutes ago, I'm currently in
therapy working on this becauseyou don't just get around it.
It's been an interesting journeyof letting that grief come up,
(30:47):
what I lost out on, how I wastreated. I'm glad he's gone.
That guy sucked, which is atruth of mine, but also grieving
for the childhood and the fatherthat I didn't get and the father
that I didn't have and stilldon't have. And thankfully,
don't still keep around. Don'tdon't get it twisted.
Like, alternate reality, if itwas a different person, what I
(31:09):
should have gotten, what littleJake should have received as a
parent counterpart, and even howit relates to my mom because
she's also a victim of thesituation. The type of
homeschooling that I could havegotten if my mom wasn't in that
situation, wasn't fighting fightor flight every day and fighting
against my dad every day. Itcould have been so much
different. It would have been somuch different. I'm glad he's
(31:32):
out of here.
One of my things is, like,having no dad is better than
having a bad dad. In my opinionand in my experience, that might
not land for everybody and Ithink that's okay. I've said it
before, I would rather be pooras dirt with people who treat me
right than any sort of wealth ofpeople who don't treat me right.
So it's not worth it.
Christy-Faith (31:54):
Yeah. And that's really poignant, I think, that
you have all and it's just it'sjust a testament to what you've
been working through and alsohow amazing your mother is
because she often talks aboutwhy it took her so long to
leave. I wanna explain to theaudience here that we throw
around the word narcissist inour culture. You can put it on
(32:15):
TikTok and you'll get all sortsof therapists saying all sorts
of things about this narcissistand that narcissist. Here's the
reality.
Statistically, it's about one intwo hundred people that actually
have narcissistic personalitydisorder. This would be one of
those people, if not sociopathicor something like that. This is
my opinion based on what I'veheard. You cannot be a
(32:36):
narcissist, but you can donarcissistic abuse. You can
still be a toxic abusive personand not be like a certified,
like, you would be diagnosednarcissist.
So when I when we express whatyou are hearing ladies that your
mom was a victim herself, shetruly was a victim and so were
you. That story is important andit needs to be heard. There are
(32:58):
a lot of ladies who have theheart because here she is
wanting to do what's right forher kids. She wants to
homeschool you, and she's havingto do it in a very difficult
situation. She doesn't regretit, though.
I've talked to her about this.She's so glad that she
homeschooled you. How do youfeel about your homeschooling
experience? Are you glad youwere homeschooled?
Jake (33:17):
I think I liked it. It's kind of how I feel about going
to college. I don't know anydifferent, but I'm able to pick
and pull out positives. If wewanna tether it back to the
house I grew up in. I believethat because I was homeschooled
with my sisters and my dadworked from home, we traveled
frequently, we were able to liveour lives.
(33:37):
Me, my mom, and my two sisterswere able to create our own
little unit, our own littlefamily unit, do our school, and
do fun things, and regardless ofhomeschooling in this example,
be a family together. And Ithink if we were public
schooled, I don't know how wewould have turned out. I don't
know if my family would still beas close as we are. Because
(34:01):
coming home from school, alldifferent schools, different
grades, different friends,different classes, different
activities. I can't say for sureif we would have the same family
bond that protected us from mydad trying to break us apart.
In that aspect, thinkhomeschooling was probably the
best answer. And like I statedbefore, it has helped me be very
(34:23):
self sufficient, very flexible.It helped me follow my passion
and sometimes not take no for ananswer. Sometimes take no for an
answer, but sometimes not.
Christy-Faith (34:33):
I wonder if Jake's tie dye would exist if
you weren't homeschooled.
Jake (34:37):
No. It wouldn't. I don't think that it would. Mostly
because when I found tie dyeing,my sisters and I had finished
school that day, some randomWednesday. We'd finished school
and we were bored.
And so we went to the store andfound a little tie dye kit and
said, let's tie dye shirtstogether for fun because we got
nothing else to do and our otherfriends are still in school. So
(34:58):
let's kill some time before wego hang out with our other
friends. And so that's whatintroduced me to tie dye. But
then also, the whole structureof my life and the relationship
I have with my mom and beingable to go to her and say, hey,
mom. I don't wanna go tocollege.
I wanna make tie dye shirtsinstead. Let's just take a
second and realize that's acrazy statement to have to tell
(35:19):
your parent. Like, hey, I don'twanna do the safe thing. I wanna
do the crazy thing. And for herto so quickly and without
question be like, yeah, let's doit.
How do we do it? And she startedpeppering me with questions of
like, about this? What do thinkyou about this? What's the idea
for this? And I was like, Ihaven't thought that far, girl.
I was just trying to test thewaters with you. And she was
(35:41):
like, what are you waiting for?Let's do it. Go for it. And so
that level of encouragement andthat environment that she was
able to create for me wasunbeatable.
It was the answer. And I thinkif I had gone to public school,
I don't know what I would bedoing honestly, but it probably
wouldn't be this.
Christy-Faith (36:00):
Well, you're certainly not the type of guy
that would fit in that box.
Jake (36:03):
No. I'm kind of a weirdo in a
Christy-Faith (36:05):
good way. You're the best kind of weirdo, and I
love it. I love it. And I justgotta ask this one last deep
question because I can't helpmyself. We run Thrive Homeschool
Community, and the amount ofwomen who are struggling through
what I would deem as abusiverelationships is staggeringly
high.
(36:25):
This is why I wanna go there.For years, your mom told herself
that she was protecting you. Shethought when she was a victim
herself with her abuser, that'swhat she calls him.
Jake (36:35):
Mhmm.
Christy-Faith (36:36):
She thought she could protect you. I of course,
there came a point where shedidn't believe that, and the
strength that she had to I mean,you listeners, I hope you see
what this woman was able toaccomplish even with her
circumstances, with the coolkids she has now. What an
incredible woman, and it's justa testament to her as well. But
what what message would you as aas little Jake and with a mom
(37:01):
listening who maybe in a similarsituation, maybe not as severe
as yours, but similar, you guyswere raised in a very
conservative Christian culture,and your mom was shunned for
leaving your dad, not believed.People took his side.
They did not believe he was anabuser, and he absolutely was.
(37:22):
Is there something that youcould share right now to the
women listening just from yourperspective of going through it
that could encourage them rightnow?
Jake (37:31):
Absolutely. I've always said because my mom and I have
talked about this quite a bitbecause she and I are very open
about this topic with eachother, and she's also the first
to say it like she's like, I wasalso a victim. She's like, but I
didn't do everything right.She's like, so, like, however
you she's like, Jake, howeveryou feel, whatever your story
is, is your story. And she'slike, sometimes I'm the villain
(37:53):
and sometimes I'm not.
These situations are verycomplex.
Christy-Faith (37:57):
They are.
Jake (37:57):
They're so complex and each one is so different and
each relationship with themother and child to the father
and child is that like, we couldtalk about it for six hours and
still only be talking about howI grew up, you know. How I look
at it is like, if the mom isdoing her best, that's all that
a child can ask for. That's allthat the child needs. There's
(38:18):
gonna be mistakes in thesituation. The mom's gonna make
missteps as every human does.
And I've been told mom guilt isquite a huge deal. I can't even
fathom the level of mom guiltinside an abusive situation that
involves your kids. But justmake the next best choice. Do
your best in that moment withwhat you have And sometimes it's
(38:39):
not gonna be enough, and that'sokay because you're a human as
well and so are your kids.Mistakes are not the same as
abuse.
Losing your temper at your childor when you're in a stressful
situation with an abusivepartner. If you are taking the
steps and doing your best toprotect those children and to
(39:01):
get them out, that is going asthe child seeing that, there's
so much proof in that pudding ofwhich parent was in the right
and which parent was in thewrong. Being able to track
abusive patterns versus saying,like, here's some mistakes my
mom made, which we can get into.We don't have to. But mistakes
and patterns of abuse are notthe same.
Christy-Faith (39:24):
Yeah.
Jake (39:24):
And your kid will always be on your side and that will
always, like, root for you. It'stough, but I think they almost
always come around and sucks andit's hard. And
Christy-Faith (39:38):
Well, I also think when you're on your own
healing journey as the adult orthe mother in this situation,
you're not going to gaslightyourself. I had many years where
my mom was raised by twoalcoholics, and my mom was the
oldest. So my mom had to rescue,salvage, clean up, raise her
siblings. Very sad. A lot ofneglect.
(40:00):
Because my mom was raised inthat unhealthy environment, she
became a Christian when she wasaround 40, but had a lot of
patterns. When I became a youngadult, her own healing journey
really redeemed ourrelationship. So she had
patterns and would make excusesfor herself. When she stopped
doing that was when the healingbegan with me, and of course, I
(40:20):
am on my healing journey too.Overall, the message is we're
humans.
We're not perfect. We do what wecan in this situation. But as
long as we take responsibilityfor our own journeys, healing,
and relationships, they areredeemable. Right? And and and I
think that you're the testamentto the journey that that you
(40:41):
guys have been in, I I think ismore relatable than we realize,
and that's why I wanted to haveyou on and do this show.
Just beauty in the ashes. Idon't think for one second, your
mom regrets homeschooling youguys, and she's the first in
office hours to say, I've mademore mistakes than all of you
guys combined. Right? And here'smy hindsight. This is what you
(41:03):
get.
You get the wisdom of a mom whomade mistakes all the way
through, and she's such anencouragement in there. And
you're an encouragement too. Idon't wanna have kids on here.
I'm sorry. I called you a kidagain.
Jake (41:13):
I don't wanna have
Christy-Faith (41:14):
kids on here that are just towing the party line
with homeschooling. Like, oh, Iloved it. Right? Like, that's
not what I want. We don't needmore of echo chambering
preaching to the choir stuff.
Homeschooling life is not thesimplest path we can take. It's
just not. It's not the easiestpath. It involves a lot of
sacrifices. And I hope that outof today's episode, what the
(41:35):
listeners are hearing is that itdoesn't mean that it's not worth
it.
And I think that you guys are atestament to that. So any
parting words for us today?
Jake (41:44):
As you were talking, I was thinking that, like, some more
encouragement for some moms.What my mom did pretty quickly
actually, which looking back wasvery surprising. Very quickly
after my parents got divorcedand we started talking through,
like, speaking these thingsabout how how my dad would treat
me and everything and tellingher things that had happened and
(42:04):
she's like, I had no idea. If Ihad known he had said that to
you, he had done that, I wouldhave done x y or z, which I
believe because my mom at everystep, every opportunity she had
to stand up for me and mysisters, she took it. She took
it every single time.
I don't know how she did that.And I think if you asked her,
she would say, I don't know howI did that either. Pretty
(42:26):
quickly after they got divorced,she was like, I made many
mistakes. She was like, Iscrewed you up plenty. She was
like, and if you need to come tome and say, mom, you did this
horrible thing that hurt me sodeeply, please come and tell me.
She never held this attitude of,well, I was doing my best. Blah
(42:51):
blah blah, which is a completelyunderstandable and valid
response, like very much makestotal sense that anybody would
do that, but my mom didn't dothat. She was like, we were the
adults. Your father and I werethe adults and you were the
child. It does take two totango.
So in your story, in Jake'sstory, your mom can be the
(43:13):
villain if she was. That'sopened it up, made it so we can
talk frankly about thesesituations and memories. It's
also not this Denise hatingcampaign. We've got so many
stories about my dad and thesemany stories about my mom. It's
like a couple versus a fewthousand.
You know what I mean? And so ifyou as a mom are frightened that
(43:35):
even with these couple, your kidis going to disown you like they
might disown the dad. I thinkit's a simple math problem. And
as long as you continue to doyour best and be open and honest
and be like, I screwed up and Iwanna fix it. If I can fix it
and if I can't fix it, I'm stillreally sorry and that shouldn't
(43:55):
have happened.
Also me growing up and havingthe the the frontal lobe develop
a little bit and be like, mymom's also just a human being.
She's just a person as well asme. Holding things against her
just didn't feel right. Holdingher accountable is very
different. Accountability,holding someone accountable, and
holding someone against someone,very different things.
Christy-Faith (44:17):
Absolutely. There's a difference between a
kid acknowledging, you know, mymom was doing her best, and a
parent saying, I was just tryingmy best because that is an
excuse. It's a deflection, arefusal to look inward, and it's
invalidating of the children'sfeelings. That is something your
mom has never done, but I thinkit's very sweet, and I bet she
(44:39):
appreciates that you see. Eventhough she's not making any
excuses for herself, she reallywas a victim herself and trying
her best and still made colossalmistakes.
Your relationship with her is atestament to the healing that
you guys have done. This showjust went in so many different
directions, but in such a goodway. Right?
Jake (45:00):
Mhmm. Mhmm.
Christy-Faith (45:01):
The two of us are a pair.
Jake (45:03):
Yes. We are. I'm on my way to get diagnosed with ADHD.
Also, by the way, my therapistis
Christy-Faith (45:08):
You know what's so cool? Your mom was sharing
with me that you're getting youknow, my sister didn't get
diagnosed with ADHD until shewas, I think, 41. Wow. Strugged
her dyslexia was so pronouncedthat they didn't even notice.
And, you know, they didn'tdiagnose girls with ADHD back in
the eighties.
What's so cool is your mom wassharing with me that she really
believes that because of thecustomized education that she
(45:33):
was able to provide you, that'swhy the ADHD never a major
issue. She saw that you needed abreak and you took a break. She
saw that that curriculum wasn'ta fit, so she changed. And so
it's not a it's not a failurethat you aren't getting
diagnosed until now. I thinkit's a testament to you didn't
(45:54):
need it.
You didn't need that labelbecause you were homeschooled. I
mean, that is so cool. Jake, Iam so thankful that you took
your Saturday morning dogsitting to share time with me
today. I know this is gonna bean incredible encouragement to
all of the people listening. Ican't wait to share this
(46:14):
episode.
Thank you so much for coming onand sharing your story. I know
it was fun, but also raw, andthat is not lost on me. Thank
you so much.
Jake (46:22):
Christy, thank you so much for having me. It's such a
blessing to be able to share andto be able to encourage anybody,
and it sucks. I mean, like, I'mnot trying to be like, oh, it's
great. No. That was really hardand now it's much better.
It does get better. It can getbetter. And it all works out in
the end. And if it doesn't workout if it hasn't worked out yet,
it's not the end. This has beenso much fun talking to you.
(46:44):
I could talk to you all day longabout anything we talked about
in this podcast. We could go forthose three hours and I'd be
like, I've got nothing to do.
Christy-Faith (46:53):
I do know that moms are going to wanna support
you because you're ahomeschooled kid who has built
this thriving business. Again,multiple six figures ladies.
Like, this kid is a successfulyoung man. Where can my audience
find you and buy some of yourtie dye?
Jake (47:09):
Absolutely. You can follow me on Instagram at jakes tie dye
shop. You can follow me onYouTube and TikTok at Jake's tie
dye, j a k e s t I e d y e. Youcan shop for tie dye shirts like
this one right here. This one isthe garden gnome.
You can shop for tie dye shirtsat jakestiedye.com. I hand make
every single one week in, weekout, all handmade to order, by
(47:34):
Jake, from Jake.
Christy-Faith (47:36):
I love it. And you know what? We're gonna put
all these links in the shownotes so people can just click
right through and see thefabulous content that you're
making. Show your kids becausethey he is just silly, family
friendly. Oh, by the way, youknow, totally family friendly
content, which is you can't saythat regarding everyone your age
right now making content.
(47:57):
It's absolutely fabulous andfun. My girls love it. They say,
mom, can we just sit down on thecouch and watch Jake? And that's
what we do, and they just have ablast. So make sure to check out
his tie dye.
And to everyone listening, wewill see you next week. Thanks
for listening in.
Jake (48:13):
Bye. Bye.
I want you to see the beauty in the ashes here.
(00:02):
Share a little bit about thathistory.
Jake (00:05):
They got divorced when I was 16. My dad, in a few words,
not a great guy. Lots ofgaslighting. One day, it's
incredible that we werehomeschooled and what we did
that day. The next day, I can'tbelieve you are treating the
kids this way.
Christy-Faith (00:30):
Welcome, friends, to today's episode of the
Christy Face Show. I might be alittle bit unhinged because I
have a friend on today. AndJake, we have been talking about
this. Has it been three years?Or Has it been three?
About we've been talking abouthaving you on the show for so
long, and I gotta tell you, Jakeis one of my favorite people on
(00:53):
the planet. I think it's reallyimportant for the listeners of
my show to experience ahomeschool graduate, young ish
adult who was homeschooled allthe way. What are they up to?
What are they doing? What'stheir perspective on their
homeschool experience?
And today, I just wanna warn youladies, we're gonna go deep
(01:16):
because Jake is a deep person.We love talking about real life,
and I have some heavy hittingquestions for him to really get
to the bottom of how he feelsabout homeschooling, what is he
up to now. I wanna share withyou a brief background, his bio
so that you know who we're gonnabe talking to today. Is this an
(01:39):
episode that you're gonna wantyour kids to listen to? Maybe,
maybe not, maybe of a certainage.
Right, Jake? Maybe, like, ifthey're 12 and up because we're
gonna be talking about someheavy things. Yeah. But I wanna
share with you who Jake is andhow I even met this amazing kid.
Can I call you a kid?
Can I feel like a big sister?
Jake (01:56):
I don't find it derogatory.
Christy-Faith (01:58):
You are really impressive young adult, and I
absolutely adore you. So let'stalk about who Jake is,
everybody. Jake is ahomeschooled tie dye artist who
launched his business during hissenior year of high school. What
began as a creative projectquickly grew into a thriving
multiple 6 figure brand with aloyal following of over 325,000
(02:24):
followers across social media.His bold handcrafted designs
resonate with a diverse audiencefrom hippies to housewives and
everyone in between.
Jake's vibrant creations bringcolor, joy, and individuality to
wardrobes around the world,proving that passion and hustle
can die outside of the lines. Ijust love that bio. Jake is a
(02:50):
heavy hitter. He has a massivesocial media following. Your
business is in a multiple sixfigures.
I wanna talk about how that cameto be because we are called
influencers. Right? And we havebusinesses. So I want to talk a
little bit about that today. Butfirst, let's rewind.
How did I even meet you?
Jake (03:10):
So Christy and I met through my mom actually, because
my mom Denise is a part ofChristy Faith LLC, the big
brand. She works in ThriveHomeschool Community. My mom
Denise is one of the mentorsthere. My mom found you on
TikTok, and then you guysbecame, like, TikTok friends. So
it's even before Thrive was athing, I think.
(03:31):
Was it?
Christy-Faith (03:32):
So I consider her one of my mentors. When I
started Thrive, I said tomyself, why don't I offer these
moms my lifeline? Your mom hasbecome one of my dearest friends
of my entire life. She raisedawesome kids. And then I got to
know you and just watched you onsocial media, and I just have
been cheering you on.
You're such a huge creator. Iwanna ask you, how did you get
(03:56):
into running a tie dye company?Did it start with social no. It
started as a senior high schoolproject. Right?
And then how did you get intosocial media?
Jake (04:04):
So I started my business in high school. Getting ready to
graduate, it was the peak ofeveryone in my life, especially
the most annoying adults that Iknew, all love and peace. The
most adult they were like, whatdo you wanna do? What do you
wanna do? And I was like, I needyou to step back.
I don't know. I wasn't reallyfeeling like an an engineer, an
attorney, a lawyer. I was like,ah. And I wasn't really keen on
(04:25):
going to college to figure thatout. Since there wasn't a clear
path me, I decided and talked tomy mom about taking a gap year.
I was like, okay. We gottafigure this out. And so I was
like writing an attributes listof like what I wanted to do. I
love to be creative. I had beentie dying for years at that that
point just as a hobby.
I thought I wanted to be a fineartist or an animator for Disney
(04:47):
for a while. I was like, that'sthat's so competitive and so
incredible. I was like, let'spivot to something a little
artistic but also more flexibleand I can get into and carve my
own way. It boiled down to whodoesn't need a tie dye shirt.
It's colorful and fun andeveryone turns out just a little
bit different, so there's thatvariety and spice.
I could start a tie dyebusiness. I was 17 turning 18. I
(05:10):
was like, is that okay if I,like, don't go to college and,
like, take more than a gap year?And she was like, why not? Do it
now before you're 35 and, like,in a career that you find that
you hate and that is sucking thesoul out of your body.
If it doesn't work, then great.You have time to do something
else. Since you don't know,let's try. I quickly got onto
(05:31):
Instagram. All the research thatI had done, they're like, you
need a Pinterest, you need anInstagram, you need a Twitter,
you need a Facebook, and you'dbe posting on these things.
Every platform you you need topost multiple times a day at
different times, differenttypes. I was like, I think I'm
gonna have an aneurysm. I waslike, I can't. This is crazy. I
don't even eat that many timesin a day.
Get away from me. That's crazy.And so I focused on Instagram,
(05:54):
narrowed it down, and thenslowly that kicked off.
Instagram has been Instagram isthey're all different beasts. So
I got my Instagram and then aFacebook, and then what really
kicked it off was TikTok.
TikTok is what really took itthere. I think it was 2021. It
was, like, 2021 when I startedposting videos on TikTok. So I'd
(06:15):
been running my business forabout three years at that point.
Thankfully, it had grew kindslowly and then sprinkled
throughout, would have what Iwould call like a viral video.
Especially at the time, I had acouple in my first few months
that broke 200,000 views. I waslike, I'm going to Hollywood.
I'm famous. I was like, buy myticket, quit my job. No.
Of course not. But those likereally those those those viral
(06:39):
videos really helped to boost myplatform. And then, what was it?
Two years ago now? 2023?
Yeah. So 2023, I joined YouTubeand started posting YouTube
shorts, and YouTube took it evenfurther than Instagram did.
Christy-Faith (06:54):
One of the reasons I had Jake on today is
because homeschool moms see thematrix. We see that college is
not for everybody. Do you regretin any way now that you're in
your mid twenties that youdidn't go to a four year college
and get one of those traditionaldegrees?
Jake (07:11):
To be honest, yes and no. There's different reasons why,
like, looking back and be like,ugh, like, it would have been so
fun to go to college. It wouldhave been so I didn't go to
college, you know. But alsobeing in fairness, going back to
me at 18, I wasn't very businessfocused. I was thinking, I wanna
do something creative and see ifI can turn it into a business,
especially 18 year old Jake.
(07:31):
I don't regret not going tocollege. I because I would have
gotten a business degree. Idon't knock college for what I'm
doing or for what someone elsewants to do. But looking back,
sure, maybe it would have beenuseful, but also I haven't
needed it yet. So I'm very gladthat I didn't do it, didn't go
into debt for it, and didn'ttake a gamble on what 18 year
(07:52):
old Jake wanted to get a degreein and what he thought he might
be doing in seven years.
Like, so kind of only, like,wish I had gone so I could say
that I did, which is not a goodenough reason to go. Yeah. So
no.
Christy-Faith (08:07):
Yeah. Yeah. And you know, you bring up a really
good point. The pressure thepressure that eighteen year old
kids have in our country to picka major, know what they wanna
do, and get on that track. And Ican't tell you how many people
think they want this, and thenthey get into it.
I loved history always. I alwaysknew I was gonna get a graduate
(08:30):
degree in history, which I did.In my mind, I was gonna be a
college professor. And so thatway, I could just talk about
history to interested studentsall day long. That's a dream.
Yeah. It's a dream. Right? Butmy parents did not have the
skills or foresight to guide meat all in that pursuit in higher
(08:51):
academics. My dad has a graduatedegree, but he is a extremely
accomplished engineer, and heworked in aerospace for most of
his career.
So when you're going to thehumanities, that's a lot
different. I never did shadowdays or internships during my
high school years partiallybecause I was so strapped down
with getting my straight a's andplaying varsity basketball and
(09:13):
being active in youth group thatI was really too busy. Mhmm. So
the sad thing is once I waswrapping up my graduate degree
and I got a job as an adjunctprofessor teaching freshmen, you
know, US history, you know, thebasics. I hated it.
So I start teaching college, andthe administration is cares
(09:34):
nothing about the students, andall they were caring about is
what I was gonna publish. Thatwas it. They did not care. And I
was like, is this what it'sactually like? And I poked
around and realized, okay.
Yeah. That is kind of what it'slike. So I went in a different
direction and here we are now. Iam thankful because I am a
published author, and I amthankful for the research
(09:56):
skills. You have to be to be agood historian, you have to have
responsible scholarship, which Ibelieve I have that a lot of
people don't.
So I think that's reallyimportant that your mom gave you
the space at the age of 18 tosay, let's pause. Let's not
determine your entire futureright this second. You're still
a kid. Right? You're only, like,one year into being an adult.
(10:18):
Yeah.
Jake (10:19):
Then 18
Christy-Faith (10:19):
And I
Jake (10:20):
It's still teen. Eighteen eighteen is baby.
Christy-Faith (10:23):
Yes. Absolutely. Now I do wanna say, people are
listening to this show. You'reeither gonna have a blast or
you're gonna be annoyed. But Iwanna talk a second about your
tie dye because it's kind of abig deal, your quality and the
artistic nature.
You're not just like a tie dyecompany. Can you just give like
a thirty second, like, what'syour onlyness factor with your
(10:46):
tie dye?
Jake (10:46):
This might give me trouble in the tie dye community. No.
I'm just kidding. We're allchill. But like some tie dye
artists come after me for notdoing more intricate designs.
They're like, you're so simple,they're so boring. And I was
like, they're wearable andapproachable. Hey. Hey. Also, I
don't wanna do those crazyintricate designs.
Like, that doesn't sound fun tome. So I found like when I was
(11:09):
starting my business, I waslike, what? Like there's
something missing I I found inthe tie dye market. I wanted
something more approachable andwearable instead of like the
crazy intricate. There's geodes,there's mandalas.
I've seen people tie dye likefull portraits of cartoon
characters into t shirts. Thatis artistry. I wouldn't even
wanna wear that shirt. I wouldstain it. I'm messy.
(11:31):
So I like the more simple, themore classic designs like this
one. It's just green and whiteswirl. That's it.
Christy-Faith (11:39):
I think you have some pretty cool fancy designs.
What I'm hearing is that you'recreating wearable clothing. If
you were to spend twenty fourhours on one particular shirt,
you'd probably have to chargethousands for it. You're a high
quality clothing company. You'renot selling artwork.
Is that what you're saying?
Jake (11:53):
Exactly. I wanted it to be high quality t shirts. I wanted
the colors to stay vibrant. Iwanted to find, like, the best.
I wanted to be like the target.
High quality mid tier. You know,you're gonna get something good,
something fun and fresh with acool customer experience. Every
t shirt, every design has adifferent name. Like a fun silly
(12:14):
name. This one is named thegarden gnome for no reason.
Yeah. We've got the cutiepatootie. I believe you have a
sweatshirt. It's the acidoxalotl. So I just wanted
wearable high quality clothingthat brightens up your day,
brightens up your wardrobe, anddoesn't break the bank.
And, like, is a fun experienceto order, like, beginning to
(12:34):
end.
Christy-Faith (12:35):
You definitely stand apart with the quality of
clothing that you make. Now I'msure people are curious. Okay.
How did a tie dye company popoff? And I think part of your
secret is that you're actually areally talented content creator.
Jake (12:49):
Do you think so?
Christy-Faith (12:49):
And you kinda have like dude, I know so. My
girls ask to watch you, and wejust sit there and binge your
videos because you have thisthing. It's like no part twos.
Mhmm. And you're actuallyshowing the tie dye process.
Tell me, in your own evaluation,what about you and the way you
(13:10):
make your social media has madeyou pop off? I'm so curious what
your interpretation of it. Andthen I'll tell you mine. As a
homeschool mom who values afamily together approach and
leans towards the classical andCharlotte Mason styles, I often
struggle to bring my educationalvision to life with my kids
diverse ages and learning needs.With all our interests and super
packed schedule, bridging thatgap between the dreamy
(13:31):
homeschool I want and reality, Igotta be honest.
It's a challenge. Now, yes, Iknow perfection isn't the goal.
But if you're listening and youcould use a little easing of
your mental load in your day today, I found a resource that has
become the quiet hero of ourroutine and it could be a really
great option for you too. BJUPress homeschool curriculum. Now
many think that BJU Presshomeschool is solely an all in
(13:53):
one option and though it doesexcel in that role, did you know
you can also opt for specificcourses and tailor them to fit
your family's needs just as Ihave?
BJU Press Homeschool providesthe perfect balance of structure
and flexibility and easilycomplements my family's mixed
age family together on the couchlearning style. They are second
to none in integrating abiblical worldview, stimulating
(14:15):
critical thinking, and offeringtons of hands on activities in
the lessons. To find out how BJUPress Homeschool can come
alongside you in yourhomeschooling goals too. Visit
bjupresshomeschool.com or clickthe link in the show notes.
Jake (14:29):
Well, first of all, thank you. That's very kind. But I
think no part twos is a big partof it. Like, that was something
that drove me crazy. In anyvideo anywhere online, they're
like, we're out of time.
Follow for part two. And Iimmediately am infuriated. And
I'm like, don't pee on my legand tell me it's raining. You
had plenty of time. Don't lie tomy face.
I feel very sorry about thesethings. But when I was starting,
(14:52):
I was trying to find a formula Icould follow. Because when I
started my TikTok, which was2021, I was the business was as
big as it had been and I wasstill doing everything myself.
Replying to customers, makingcontent, making the t shirts,
keeping up with inventory,bookkeeping, banking. You know
about this.
You run multiple businesses.Mhmm. You're boss lady
(15:14):
extraordinaire. So the idea ofneeding to get on social media
to promote my business was like,oh my gosh, pull my teeth out. I
can't do anything else.
How dare I need to add more tomy plate? So I was trying to
find a good formula I couldfollow that would be like my
signature and also not too faroutside of things I was already
(15:36):
doing. So I put a camera aboveme putting the color on the t
shirts and I can show you whatit looks like after, like
process results. Everybody lovesthe process and results and I'm
already doing this. So what'sthe extra time and energy cost
of just filming it?
I'm not taking time out of myday to do the different trends
and keep up with this, that, andthe other. If I have time for
(15:58):
those and they seem interestingto me, I will absolutely take
time out of my day and film,like, a silly transition, a fun
little video. But just doingthat, I can't possibly keep up.
I've got shirts to make. Thevisual cues of over the head,
making tie dye, knowing the nopart two with the voice over,
those pillars kind of built mesome recognitions, like
instantly recognizable.
You see that kind of video. It'snot like, oh, of course, you
(16:20):
know that's Jake. But if youhave seen my videos before, you
know, oh, this is a Jake videotalking Yes. And saying my
ridiculous jokes and making mybad puns and
Christy-Faith (16:29):
doing the best. Okay. But be honest. I know it's
one thing you just set thecamera up and film your hands,
but how long are you spending onthose scripts? Because they are
hilarious and they're soentertaining.
Jake (16:40):
Oh, well, first of all, thank you. It depends. Sometimes
I can bust out a script in five,six minutes and sometimes I'm
slaving away at this keyboard tobe like, what am I gonna say
about this? Beginning to end inthe editing process of writing
the script, filming it, cuttingthe video together, I can have a
video edited together in fifteenminutes, twenty minutes.
Christy-Faith (16:59):
I'm so mad at you right now. Do you know how much
time I spend scripting andfilming?
Jake (17:04):
I don't. But that's why I was like, I can't Christy, I'm
not doing that. If I'm notalready doing it and filming it
Yeah. That's where I don't know.I don't know if that's like pure
I'm not doing it.
Pure pressure doesn't
Christy-Faith (17:16):
I love that. We do different things. Right? You
have a physical product. Butwhat's so cool is a lot of
people have physical products,but you really figured out a
niche way to highlight this is areally cool product.
These are all handmade. This isthe owner operator. And I think
that's kind of the formula forsocial media too, and why large
(17:36):
companies have had such a hardtime getting a presence, and
they end up hiring their faces.That's what people want. They
want to know who they're buyingfrom.
Yep. Right? In what ways do youthink homeschooling contributed
to your work ethic and yourability to build this business?
Jake (17:53):
I think that it really helped me with flexibility,
like, is being able to pivot ona dime if I need to. Even in
content creation as well, like,oh, I'm not feeling it. I can do
this later. Being able to shiftmy schedule and do what works
for me and my family, and thenalso individuality, like being
(18:14):
homeschooled, it was like, whatdoes Jake's education look like?
What does Jake's day look like?
When does Jake need to do hismath for the best outcome? Maybe
we start in the morning with artfirst thing and then do math at
3PM. Being able to flex it andchange it had had like
incredible. And so movingforward in my life and carving
(18:36):
it forward of like, well, whatworks for me? I can create the
life that works for me and I'mnot super bound by too much.
Of course, we still all have topay taxes which sucks. I wish I
could carve my way around those,but I don't. I pay my taxes. Let
it be known. I know.
Don't come after me.
Christy-Faith (18:52):
Well, I think that homeschooling naturally
lends itself towardsentrepreneurship.
Jake (19:00):
Sure.
Christy-Faith (19:00):
I know your mom does it. You know, you can
homeschool in a way where you'redoing school, like a Christian
version maybe of publicschooling at home. You can have
your kids sit down, and you canbe teaching them their lessons.
But what's really cool and whatI love to break moms out of,
because, you know, immediatelywhen they join Thrive Homeschool
Community, we start deschoolingthose women as fast as we
(19:21):
possibly can so we can opentheir eyes to a brighter future
and the possibilities for theirkids. Not just preparing them
for college and work.
Like, what if they wantsomething else? And I think that
homeschooling and there'snothing wrong with any path, but
I do I will say that I thinkthat the traditional school path
does not prepare kids forentrepreneurship and individual
(19:42):
individualism and things likethat, partially because if you
read chapter three of my book,no pressure, Jake, I go through
the history. That's literallywhy the school system was
created. It was created tocreate conformity and like
mindedness and not freethinkers. I think that what
you're describing is very muchlike your mom almost created a
(20:02):
breeding ground forentrepreneurship and just the
other thing too that I think isreally unique about you and
other homeschoolers who havebecome successful entrepreneurs
is that you were taught that youcan learn whatever you need to
learn.
Mhmm. You were taught that aneducation is memorize this
(20:24):
content. I'm gonna test youFriday.
Jake (20:26):
Mhmm.
Christy-Faith (20:27):
And then that means you're educated. Right?
How would you describe that? Howwould you describe what your mom
built? And by the way, I'm usingthe word mom and not dad.
Talk to me about that a littlebit. That environment, you know,
Charlotte Mason often is quotedto say, and she did say this,
that education is an atmosphere.So what type of atmosphere did
(20:49):
your mom create that made youbelieve that you could do
whatever you wanted to do?
Jake (20:55):
Oh, absolutely. My mom was it was what does Jake need?
First of all, it started withwhat did Jake need for his
education, and then secondly, itwas what interests Jake? I'm
gonna stop talking in thirdperson. What interested me?
So I was able to aside from thecore subjects, I was able to
say, I'm really interested inmarine biology for my science
(21:17):
this semester. Or I'm reallyinterested in forensic science
for this semester. Being able towork together with the teacher
on what interests me in myeducation and what I might wanna
do when I grow up or maybe justwhat interests me that semester.
My mom built a pretty solidenvironment of like what do you
(21:37):
wanna do? What do you wanna be?
Let's follow that. Being able tobe self led in what interests me
and then self sufficiency ingetting that done and finding
the answers to my questions. AsI went through high school, I
was able to fold in my businessto my school, my senior year. A
good chunk of my senior yearbecause I front loaded my high
(21:58):
school career, I did most of thework freshman and sophomore
year, And then junior well, yearwas hard. But and then senior
year was lighter.
So I was able to carve out timeof my school day. I took a
business math course. I was ableto dedicate time to research
into different social like whatthe social media aspects are,
different selling platforms,what what it was. I was
(22:20):
educating myself on how I wasgoing to run this business. She
just encouraged me in that.
She didn't know more than I did,but she was like, let's figure
it out. That was always theanswer. Let's look into it
together. Or she would say, yougo figure it out. This is later
and this is later in highschool.
I wasn't six. Or I was like,mom, what are we doing for math?
And she's like, you figure itout. We're not doing that. Don't
(22:41):
worry.
Really, was able to tailor eacheducation to each child. I have
two older sisters. As each of uswent through school, she had to
restart because we were we allare so different and learn so
differently. What worked forCaitlin, my oldest sister, in
geometry didn't work for me. Itwasn't just like, well, suffer
(23:02):
through it.
You gotta do it because that'swhat the the patch homeschool
course is. The patch homeschooleducation. It's like it being
individualized and tailored toeach child's need was it. That
was paramount. It wasincredible.
Christy-Faith (23:17):
Right. I think she was ahead of her time in
that because
Jake (23:21):
I agree.
Christy-Faith (23:22):
You know, back in the day, you had to choose from,
like, three curricula and thensit your kid down and do that.
People don't know this aboutDenise. She is, in her own
right, quite a forward thinker.She ran a massively successful
nonprofit for women in Africa. Isee that transferring into your
homeschooling.
(23:42):
Absolutely. I wanna make sure wehave time for the next topic
because one of the reasons why Iwanted to have you on was not
just because you're really cooland entertaining and fun and I
love you, which is true. But oneof the reasons why I asked your
mother to be a mentor in ThriveHomeschool Community is because
of your dad and her formerhusband.
Jake (24:02):
Mhmm.
Christy-Faith (24:03):
And because the reality is that we have a lot of
sick and toxic or narcissisticpeople in our lives. I knew that
I needed someone who hadexpertise in this area to help
mentor the moms, particularlybecause I married Scott when I
was 22, and we have had ahealthy marriage the entire
(24:25):
time. So I can't pretend torelate to somebody who maybe
married the wrong person. I lovemy husband. I feel incredibly
blessed.
I have That's incredible. In myareas in parenting and education
and things like that. But whenit comes to bad marriages, I'm
not a therapist, and I don'thave experience with being
married to a loser dude. SoRight. Would you share a little
(24:47):
bit this is where we might godeep, ladies, but I think this
is where you're gonna find a lotof encouragement because I want
you to see the beauty in theashes here because there were
some really dark days for youguys, for your mom.
Share a little bit about thathistory, that divorce. I'm
asking him direct questions, youguys, because I have permission
(25:08):
ahead that he wants to go therebecause he wants to encourage
you guys. So I'm not corneringJake in any way right now. Would
you share that history before Iask you further? Before we
continue, I wanna share with youa program that's been a game
changer for our homeschool.
At our center, we instructed andhelped kids through pretty much
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(25:30):
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(25:52):
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With CTC Math, your child isgetting a top notch education
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(26:15):
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Jake (26:56):
So my parents were married for twenty five years. They got
divorced when I was 16. Mysisters were 16, 18, and 20,
roughly. My dad, in a few words,not a great guy. Lots of
screaming, lots of yelling, lotsof gaslighting.
Everyone knows that word now.Gaslighting, change of behavior.
One day he's this, one day he'sthat. One day it's incredible
(27:19):
that we were homeschooled andwhat we did that day. The next
day, I can't believe you aretreating the kids this way.
Like, that's just an examplebecause we're doing a homeschool
podcast. But anything andeverything, it was tough. I'm
gonna be fully honest, intherapy right now, working
through some of this stuffbecause it does catch up with
you. You do not escape it. Youdon't work around it.
(27:40):
The body keeps the score. As Itold Christy before, life was
tough especially because I was alot more soft and sensitive than
my sisters were. I felt muchmore in tune to the grown ups in
my life. I remember maybe agefive or six realizing that I
didn't like my dad. That I waslike, this guy sucks.
(28:02):
When I would try to connect withhim and have a conversation,
nobody was home. No one wasthere bouncing back with me at
all. And, like, we didn'tconnect on any level, anything
that I would bring him to belike, well, this is what I like
to do. I love to cook and tobake or to paint or to do
whatever that wasn't goodenough, it was wrong, it was
bad, why would you do that?That's stupid.
(28:25):
And then everything alwaysevolved into me getting in
trouble somehow for any numberof reasons that didn't make any
sense.
Christy-Faith (28:33):
Your mom I mean, when she describes her
experience in Thrive HomeschoolCommunity, she describes him as
a monster. Yeah. Would you agreewith that description?
Jake (28:44):
Yes. Yes, I would. I would.
Christy-Faith (28:47):
Yeah. I think the point that is important for moms
to hear is well, let's let'sjust go back to the main
purpose. It's like the beauty inthe ashes. Right? There's a lot
of kids like you who graduatehomeschooling and then make
homeschooling the enemy.
They blame homeschooling. Theydon't blame their really abusive
parents. It's kind of unfair toour culture what they're doing
(29:07):
to homeschooling because thevehicle is not the problem. Bad
people are the problem. And whatI know from your mom is you
spent a lot of years in fight orflight and your mother did too.
So share with us how yourparents' divorce affected you.
Jake (29:22):
Absolutely. So I was 16 when my parents got divorced.
And right off the top, I wasthrilled. I was so excited to
get that man out of my house. Astheir marriage progressed, he
got less and less tethered toany sort of mask he could wear
of acting normal and not flyingoff the handle over ridiculous
(29:42):
stuff.
As he got older and theirmarriage progressed, he got
worse and worse. Growing up inthat, I was like, he's gotta get
out of here. He he needs to getout of here. I was excited for
them to split up, which is maybenot a super popular answer. But
like I said before, I felt verytapped in to my grown ups, which
I also believe was a fight orflight type of response.
(30:04):
Needed to keep tabs on the grownups in my life of what's gonna
happen next, what's going on. Iwas so pleased to be able to
live in my own home and dowhatever I wanted without fear
of being ridiculed, spoken downto, yelled at, and getting in
trouble. Not to speak for mysisters, but they did not see it
that way. They were, I think,completely blindsided which
(30:27):
surprised me quite a bit. I waslike, you're not picking up on
this loser we have in our house?
And they're like, that's ourdad. I was like, I don't care
how you spell his name. This guyblows. It's been a process. And
so now like I shared a fewminutes ago, I'm currently in
therapy working on this becauseyou don't just get around it.
It's been an interesting journeyof letting that grief come up,
(30:47):
what I lost out on, how I wastreated. I'm glad he's gone.
That guy sucked, which is atruth of mine, but also grieving
for the childhood and the fatherthat I didn't get and the father
that I didn't have and stilldon't have. And thankfully,
don't still keep around. Don'tdon't get it twisted.
Like, alternate reality, if itwas a different person, what I
(31:09):
should have gotten, what littleJake should have received as a
parent counterpart, and even howit relates to my mom because
she's also a victim of thesituation. The type of
homeschooling that I could havegotten if my mom wasn't in that
situation, wasn't fighting fightor flight every day and fighting
against my dad every day. Itcould have been so much
different. It would have been somuch different. I'm glad he's
(31:32):
out of here.
One of my things is, like,having no dad is better than
having a bad dad. In my opinionand in my experience, that might
not land for everybody and Ithink that's okay. I've said it
before, I would rather be pooras dirt with people who treat me
right than any sort of wealth ofpeople who don't treat me right.
So it's not worth it.
Christy-Faith (31:54):
Yeah. And that's really poignant, I think, that
you have all and it's just it'sjust a testament to what you've
been working through and alsohow amazing your mother is
because she often talks aboutwhy it took her so long to
leave. I wanna explain to theaudience here that we throw
around the word narcissist inour culture. You can put it on
(32:15):
TikTok and you'll get all sortsof therapists saying all sorts
of things about this narcissistand that narcissist. Here's the
reality.
Statistically, it's about one intwo hundred people that actually
have narcissistic personalitydisorder. This would be one of
those people, if not sociopathicor something like that. This is
my opinion based on what I'veheard. You cannot be a
(32:36):
narcissist, but you can donarcissistic abuse. You can
still be a toxic abusive personand not be like a certified,
like, you would be diagnosednarcissist.
So when I when we express whatyou are hearing ladies that your
mom was a victim herself, shetruly was a victim and so were
you. That story is important andit needs to be heard. There are
(32:58):
a lot of ladies who have theheart because here she is
wanting to do what's right forher kids. She wants to
homeschool you, and she's havingto do it in a very difficult
situation. She doesn't regretit, though.
I've talked to her about this.She's so glad that she
homeschooled you. How do youfeel about your homeschooling
experience? Are you glad youwere homeschooled?
Jake (33:17):
I think I liked it. It's kind of how I feel about going
to college. I don't know anydifferent, but I'm able to pick
and pull out positives. If wewanna tether it back to the
house I grew up in. I believethat because I was homeschooled
with my sisters and my dadworked from home, we traveled
frequently, we were able to liveour lives.
(33:37):
Me, my mom, and my two sisterswere able to create our own
little unit, our own littlefamily unit, do our school, and
do fun things, and regardless ofhomeschooling in this example,
be a family together. And Ithink if we were public
schooled, I don't know how wewould have turned out. I don't
know if my family would still beas close as we are. Because
(34:01):
coming home from school, alldifferent schools, different
grades, different friends,different classes, different
activities. I can't say for sureif we would have the same family
bond that protected us from mydad trying to break us apart.
In that aspect, thinkhomeschooling was probably the
best answer. And like I statedbefore, it has helped me be very
(34:23):
self sufficient, very flexible.It helped me follow my passion
and sometimes not take no for ananswer. Sometimes take no for an
answer, but sometimes not.
Christy-Faith (34:33):
I wonder if Jake's tie dye would exist if
you weren't homeschooled.
Jake (34:37):
No. It wouldn't. I don't think that it would. Mostly
because when I found tie dyeing,my sisters and I had finished
school that day, some randomWednesday. We'd finished school
and we were bored.
And so we went to the store andfound a little tie dye kit and
said, let's tie dye shirtstogether for fun because we got
nothing else to do and our otherfriends are still in school. So
(34:58):
let's kill some time before wego hang out with our other
friends. And so that's whatintroduced me to tie dye. But
then also, the whole structureof my life and the relationship
I have with my mom and beingable to go to her and say, hey,
mom. I don't wanna go tocollege.
I wanna make tie dye shirtsinstead. Let's just take a
second and realize that's acrazy statement to have to tell
(35:19):
your parent. Like, hey, I don'twanna do the safe thing. I wanna
do the crazy thing. And for herto so quickly and without
question be like, yeah, let's doit.
How do we do it? And she startedpeppering me with questions of
like, about this? What do thinkyou about this? What's the idea
for this? And I was like, Ihaven't thought that far, girl.
I was just trying to test thewaters with you. And she was
(35:41):
like, what are you waiting for?Let's do it. Go for it. And so
that level of encouragement andthat environment that she was
able to create for me wasunbeatable.
It was the answer. And I thinkif I had gone to public school,
I don't know what I would bedoing honestly, but it probably
wouldn't be this.
Christy-Faith (36:00):
Well, you're certainly not the type of guy
that would fit in that box.
Jake (36:03):
No. I'm kind of a weirdo in a
Christy-Faith (36:05):
good way. You're the best kind of weirdo, and I
love it. I love it. And I justgotta ask this one last deep
question because I can't helpmyself. We run Thrive Homeschool
Community, and the amount ofwomen who are struggling through
what I would deem as abusiverelationships is staggeringly
high.
(36:25):
This is why I wanna go there.For years, your mom told herself
that she was protecting you. Shethought when she was a victim
herself with her abuser, that'swhat she calls him.
Jake (36:35):
Mhmm.
Christy-Faith (36:36):
She thought she could protect you. I of course,
there came a point where shedidn't believe that, and the
strength that she had to I mean,you listeners, I hope you see
what this woman was able toaccomplish even with her
circumstances, with the coolkids she has now. What an
incredible woman, and it's justa testament to her as well. But
what what message would you as aas little Jake and with a mom
(37:01):
listening who maybe in a similarsituation, maybe not as severe
as yours, but similar, you guyswere raised in a very
conservative Christian culture,and your mom was shunned for
leaving your dad, not believed.People took his side.
They did not believe he was anabuser, and he absolutely was.
(37:22):
Is there something that youcould share right now to the
women listening just from yourperspective of going through it
that could encourage them rightnow?
Jake (37:31):
Absolutely. I've always said because my mom and I have
talked about this quite a bitbecause she and I are very open
about this topic with eachother, and she's also the first
to say it like she's like, I wasalso a victim. She's like, but I
didn't do everything right.She's like, so, like, however
you she's like, Jake, howeveryou feel, whatever your story
is, is your story. And she'slike, sometimes I'm the villain
(37:53):
and sometimes I'm not.
These situations are verycomplex.
Christy-Faith (37:57):
They are.
Jake (37:57):
They're so complex and each one is so different and
each relationship with themother and child to the father
and child is that like, we couldtalk about it for six hours and
still only be talking about howI grew up, you know. How I look
at it is like, if the mom isdoing her best, that's all that
a child can ask for. That's allthat the child needs. There's
(38:18):
gonna be mistakes in thesituation. The mom's gonna make
missteps as every human does.
And I've been told mom guilt isquite a huge deal. I can't even
fathom the level of mom guiltinside an abusive situation that
involves your kids. But justmake the next best choice. Do
your best in that moment withwhat you have And sometimes it's
(38:39):
not gonna be enough, and that'sokay because you're a human as
well and so are your kids.Mistakes are not the same as
abuse.
Losing your temper at your childor when you're in a stressful
situation with an abusivepartner. If you are taking the
steps and doing your best toprotect those children and to
(39:01):
get them out, that is going asthe child seeing that, there's
so much proof in that pudding ofwhich parent was in the right
and which parent was in thewrong. Being able to track
abusive patterns versus saying,like, here's some mistakes my
mom made, which we can get into.We don't have to. But mistakes
and patterns of abuse are notthe same.
Christy-Faith (39:24):
Yeah.
Jake (39:24):
And your kid will always be on your side and that will
always, like, root for you. It'stough, but I think they almost
always come around and sucks andit's hard. And
Christy-Faith (39:38):
Well, I also think when you're on your own
healing journey as the adult orthe mother in this situation,
you're not going to gaslightyourself. I had many years where
my mom was raised by twoalcoholics, and my mom was the
oldest. So my mom had to rescue,salvage, clean up, raise her
siblings. Very sad. A lot ofneglect.
(40:00):
Because my mom was raised inthat unhealthy environment, she
became a Christian when she wasaround 40, but had a lot of
patterns. When I became a youngadult, her own healing journey
really redeemed ourrelationship. So she had
patterns and would make excusesfor herself. When she stopped
doing that was when the healingbegan with me, and of course, I
(40:20):
am on my healing journey too.Overall, the message is we're
humans.
We're not perfect. We do what wecan in this situation. But as
long as we take responsibilityfor our own journeys, healing,
and relationships, they areredeemable. Right? And and and I
think that you're the testamentto the journey that that you
(40:41):
guys have been in, I I think ismore relatable than we realize,
and that's why I wanted to haveyou on and do this show.
Just beauty in the ashes. Idon't think for one second, your
mom regrets homeschooling youguys, and she's the first in
office hours to say, I've mademore mistakes than all of you
guys combined. Right? And here'smy hindsight. This is what you
(41:03):
get.
You get the wisdom of a mom whomade mistakes all the way
through, and she's such anencouragement in there. And
you're an encouragement too. Idon't wanna have kids on here.
I'm sorry. I called you a kidagain.
Jake (41:13):
I don't wanna have
Christy-Faith (41:14):
kids on here that are just towing the party line
with homeschooling. Like, oh, Iloved it. Right? Like, that's
not what I want. We don't needmore of echo chambering
preaching to the choir stuff.
Homeschooling life is not thesimplest path we can take. It's
just not. It's not the easiestpath. It involves a lot of
sacrifices. And I hope that outof today's episode, what the
(41:35):
listeners are hearing is that itdoesn't mean that it's not worth
it.
And I think that you guys are atestament to that. So any
parting words for us today?
Jake (41:44):
As you were talking, I was thinking that, like, some more
encouragement for some moms.What my mom did pretty quickly
actually, which looking back wasvery surprising. Very quickly
after my parents got divorcedand we started talking through,
like, speaking these thingsabout how how my dad would treat
me and everything and tellingher things that had happened and
(42:04):
she's like, I had no idea. If Ihad known he had said that to
you, he had done that, I wouldhave done x y or z, which I
believe because my mom at everystep, every opportunity she had
to stand up for me and mysisters, she took it. She took
it every single time.
I don't know how she did that.And I think if you asked her,
she would say, I don't know howI did that either. Pretty
(42:26):
quickly after they got divorced,she was like, I made many
mistakes. She was like, Iscrewed you up plenty. She was
like, and if you need to come tome and say, mom, you did this
horrible thing that hurt me sodeeply, please come and tell me.
She never held this attitude of,well, I was doing my best. Blah
(42:51):
blah blah, which is a completelyunderstandable and valid
response, like very much makestotal sense that anybody would
do that, but my mom didn't dothat. She was like, we were the
adults. Your father and I werethe adults and you were the
child. It does take two totango.
So in your story, in Jake'sstory, your mom can be the
(43:13):
villain if she was. That'sopened it up, made it so we can
talk frankly about thesesituations and memories. It's
also not this Denise hatingcampaign. We've got so many
stories about my dad and thesemany stories about my mom. It's
like a couple versus a fewthousand.
You know what I mean? And so ifyou as a mom are frightened that
(43:35):
even with these couple, your kidis going to disown you like they
might disown the dad. I thinkit's a simple math problem. And
as long as you continue to doyour best and be open and honest
and be like, I screwed up and Iwanna fix it. If I can fix it
and if I can't fix it, I'm stillreally sorry and that shouldn't
(43:55):
have happened.
Also me growing up and havingthe the the frontal lobe develop
a little bit and be like, mymom's also just a human being.
She's just a person as well asme. Holding things against her
just didn't feel right. Holdingher accountable is very
different. Accountability,holding someone accountable, and
holding someone against someone,very different things.
Christy-Faith (44:17):
Absolutely. There's a difference between a
kid acknowledging, you know, mymom was doing her best, and a
parent saying, I was just tryingmy best because that is an
excuse. It's a deflection, arefusal to look inward, and it's
invalidating of the children'sfeelings. That is something your
mom has never done, but I thinkit's very sweet, and I bet she
(44:39):
appreciates that you see. Eventhough she's not making any
excuses for herself, she reallywas a victim herself and trying
her best and still made colossalmistakes.
Your relationship with her is atestament to the healing that
you guys have done. This showjust went in so many different
directions, but in such a goodway. Right?
Jake (45:00):
Mhmm. Mhmm.
Christy-Faith (45:01):
The two of us are a pair.
Jake (45:03):
Yes. We are. I'm on my way to get diagnosed with ADHD.
Also, by the way, my therapistis
Christy-Faith (45:08):
You know what's so cool? Your mom was sharing
with me that you're getting youknow, my sister didn't get
diagnosed with ADHD until shewas, I think, 41. Wow. Strugged
her dyslexia was so pronouncedthat they didn't even notice.
And, you know, they didn'tdiagnose girls with ADHD back in
the eighties.
What's so cool is your mom wassharing with me that she really
believes that because of thecustomized education that she
(45:33):
was able to provide you, that'swhy the ADHD never a major
issue. She saw that you needed abreak and you took a break. She
saw that that curriculum wasn'ta fit, so she changed. And so
it's not a it's not a failurethat you aren't getting
diagnosed until now. I thinkit's a testament to you didn't
(45:54):
need it.
You didn't need that labelbecause you were homeschooled. I
mean, that is so cool. Jake, Iam so thankful that you took
your Saturday morning dogsitting to share time with me
today. I know this is gonna bean incredible encouragement to
all of the people listening. Ican't wait to share this
(46:14):
episode.
Thank you so much for coming onand sharing your story. I know
it was fun, but also raw, andthat is not lost on me. Thank
you so much.
Jake (46:22):
Christy, thank you so much for having me. It's such a
blessing to be able to share andto be able to encourage anybody,
and it sucks. I mean, like, I'mnot trying to be like, oh, it's
great. No. That was really hardand now it's much better.
It does get better. It can getbetter. And it all works out in
the end. And if it doesn't workout if it hasn't worked out yet,
it's not the end. This has beenso much fun talking to you.
(46:44):
I could talk to you all day longabout anything we talked about
in this podcast. We could go forthose three hours and I'd be
like, I've got nothing to do.
Christy-Faith (46:53):
I do know that moms are going to wanna support
you because you're ahomeschooled kid who has built
this thriving business. Again,multiple six figures ladies.
Like, this kid is a successfulyoung man. Where can my audience
find you and buy some of yourtie dye?
Jake (47:09):
Absolutely. You can follow me on Instagram at jakes tie dye
shop. You can follow me onYouTube and TikTok at Jake's tie
dye, j a k e s t I e d y e. Youcan shop for tie dye shirts like
this one right here. This one isthe garden gnome.
You can shop for tie dye shirtsat jakestiedye.com. I hand make
every single one week in, weekout, all handmade to order, by
(47:34):
Jake, from Jake.
Christy-Faith (47:36):
I love it. And you know what? We're gonna put
all these links in the shownotes so people can just click
right through and see thefabulous content that you're
making. Show your kids becausethey he is just silly, family
friendly. Oh, by the way, youknow, totally family friendly
content, which is you can't saythat regarding everyone your age
right now making content.
(47:57):
It's absolutely fabulous andfun. My girls love it. They say,
mom, can we just sit down on thecouch and watch Jake? And that's
what we do, and they just have ablast. So make sure to check out
his tie dye.
And to everyone listening, wewill see you next week. Thanks
for listening in.
Jake (48:13):
Bye. Bye.
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