October 29, 2025 • 29 mins
You’re just trying to buy avocados, and suddenly you’re defending your entire educational philosophy.
In this hilarious and eye-opening episode, Christy-Faith breaks down why announcing “We homeschool” turns into a social experiment. From the grocery store to family gatherings, she explains the psychology behind other people’s awkward reactions and how to stay confident, calm, and kind through it all.
You’ll learn four powerful psychological tendencies (status quo bias, shame projection, cognitive dissonance, and confirmation bias) that explain why people question your homeschool choices and how to gracefully respond without getting defensive or drained.
🛠️ LINKS & RESOURCES
Free Homeschooling Resources
Everything you need to simplify and strengthen your homeschool journey:
👉 https://christy-faith.com/links
Thrive Homeschool Community
Join Christy-Faith’s online community for mentorship, encouragement, and real friendships that last:
👉 https://christy-faith.com/thrive
Christy-Faith’s List
A curated directory of homeschool-friendly service providers, businesses, and colleges:
👉 https://christy-faiths-list.com
Christy-Faith’s Book: Homeschool Rising
📖 Real talk that will reassure you in your homeschooling journey:
👉 https://christy-faith.com/book-homeschool-rising
🎙️ SHOW SPONSORS
BJU Press Homeschool
✔ Flexible structure, biblical worldview
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👉 https://www.bjupresshomeschool.com/christy
CTC Math
✔ Online, self-paced K–12 curriculum
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👉 https://ctcmath.com/how-it-works/home-school?tr_id=CF
Azure Standard
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use code CHRISTYFAITH15 for 15% off
Summit HealthShare
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🎁 FREE GIFT
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OTHER EPISODES FOR YOU 👀
The Future of Education: Why Families are Leaving Public Schools
🔗 https://christy-faith.com/podcast/the-future-of-education-why-families-are-leaving-public-schools/
Behind the Scenes of Thrive Homeschool Community.
🔗 https://christy-faith.com/podcast/behind-the-scenes-of-thrive-homeschool-community/
🎧 SHOW RECAP
✅ Why “We homeschool” feels like a social experiment
✅ The real reason people get uncomfortable when you choose differently
✅ Four psychological biases that fuel homeschool skepticism
✅ How to respond gracefully without overexplaining
✅ What to say when someone projects their own parenting fears on you
✅ How to reach the ultimate level of unbothered confidence
✅ Why thriving homeschool kids often trigger cognitive dissonance in others
✅ How to stop trying to be the perfect homeschool ambassador
Your calm doesn’t need to be defended, it just needs to be lived.
📌 Like, subscribe, and share this with a homeschool mom who’s tired of defending her decision and ready to walk in confidence.
💬 What’s your go-to response when someone questions your homeschool choice? Share it in the comments or tag Christy-Faith on Instagram to join the conversation.
The Christy-Faith Show | Ep. 89
- (00:00) - Christy-Faith Ep.89
- (11:42) - AD 1
- (21:23) - Ad 2
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Christy-Faith (00:00):
Pop quiz. What's the fastest way to get
(00:02):
unsolicited advice from acomplete stranger, your second
cousin twice removed, or the guywho bags your groceries? Ding
ding ding. Tell them youhomeschool. You're just over
here trying to buy avocados, andsuddenly, you're defending your
educational philosophy likeyou're defending your
dissertation.
Welcome to the Christy FaithShow. Today, we're turning those
(00:24):
awkward, eye twitching inducingmoments into pure nonchalance,
and I'm gonna help you reach themost epic level of unbothered.
And I hope I don't disappointyou, but today, I'm not here to
arm you with the most cuttingcomeback or teach you how to be
mean to people who question yourhomeschooling decision. That
(00:44):
doesn't help your mental state,your relationships, or the
homeschooling cause in general.We don't wanna just make people
mad nor do we wanna come off asprideful.
Instead, we wanna figure out howwe can disarm, calm everybody
down so that you can exudeconfidence. So instead, we're
going to decode why the decisionto homeschool makes other people
(01:06):
so stinking weird. Because thefunny thing is, and I'm sure you
would agree, telling someonethat you homeschool is quite the
social experiment. Youimmediately find out who thinks
you're a revolutionary geniusand who thinks you're personally
crafting a tinfoil hat for yourchild in the basement. You've
shown up to a social event andsuddenly aunt Patty's got
questions, the neighbors peeringover the fence, and everyone you
(01:29):
know plus three people you don'tknow, all of a sudden become
educational experts hungry fordetails.
It's like you announced plottwist, and the world started
flipping through the scriptlooking for their lines. Here's
what most people don't realize.Those rapid fire questions and
those sideways glances, they'rerarely about you. Most of the
time, it's just folks reactingto a new recipe when they've
(01:52):
been eating the same casseroletheir whole lives. You're the
unexpected spice, and they'renot sure if it's paprika or
ghost pepper.
So today, we're doing a crashcourse on the psychology behind
homeschool skepticism. I'm goingto show you four psychological
tendencies that when seen forwhat they really are, will help
you realize other people'sopinions aren't really about
(02:15):
you, which is pretty freeing.And then I'm gonna give you
responses so graceful they'llleave the critics speechless.
The kind where you don't fallinto people pleasing or
compromising your convictions,but you're kind, softhearted,
and actually make peoplegenuinely curious about
homeschooling. Maybe even agreewith your concerns and your why.
(02:36):
By the time we're done today,you'll walk into the next
barbecue or holiday gathering soup leveled that not even your
mother in law's helpfulsuggestions can penetrate your
calm confidence. Trust me, thisshow will be the eye opener mini
masterclass you needed. Let'sgo. Hello, everybody. Welcome to
(03:07):
the show.
Before we get into the goods,one thing I know a lot of you
could use more of each month iscash. I've got something that
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for doing absolutely nothing. Solisten up. You may not need to
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(03:28):
insurance. Health insurance usedto be a huge burden for our
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We were paying $2,000 a monthfor coverage that we barely even
used. It felt like we were justthrowing money away until we
made the switch to SummitHealthShare. For our family of
six, that decision instantlystarted saving us over a
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(03:50):
math right now. That's $12,000 ayear that we got back into our
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Summit HealthShare replaceshealth insurance. It gives you
the same or better protectionthat you need, and it can help
you save between 40 and 60percent on your health care
costs. Now I know what you'rethinking right now, but what
about the coverage, Christy?Will it be the same? It's
(04:11):
probably gonna be better.
You can keep your same doctors.It covers major medical,
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(04:32):
I need a lot of labs, and youknow what? I haven't paid for a
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What would you do with an extra$5.10, $12,000 per year? I know
(04:52):
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They're nice.
They're helpful. They're notsalesy at all, and they will
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summithealthshare.com, and Iwill put a link in the show
notes. Alright.
(05:13):
Now that we've got that coveredand hopefully saved you some
serious money for all thatcurriculum that I know you've
been eyeballing, let meintroduce myself if you're new
here or reintroduce myself ifyou haven't been around for a
while. Hi. I'm Christy Faith,education and parenting expert
with over twenty yearsexperience teaching teachers,
coaching parents, and workingwith kids. I'm the author of
(05:34):
Homeschool Rising, the bookthat's here to give you the
confidence you need tohomeschool boldly. You can find
that on Amazon Prime.
But that's not all. I'm also aspeaker, and nothing lights me
up more than meeting you inperson. So if you've got an
event, reach out. We've gotcreative ways to make it happen
without breaking the bank. Andof course, I would be remiss
without sharing the heart ofwhat I do.
(05:57):
I am also the founder of ThriveHomeschool Community. Thrive
exists because I know you. Youwant the best education possible
for your kids, but let's bereal. Homeschooling can often
feel like a solo mission builton random internet advice and
crossed fingers. ThriveHomeschool Community gives you
the proven framework, access toexperts, and a supportive
(06:18):
community all at an affordableprice that works for families.
Moms who join often tell me theycan't imagine ever homeschooling
without Thrive. So if you'refeeling overwhelmed, if you've
got homeschool problems, ifyou're second guessing yourself,
worried about your kids, or justneed to know how to start
homeschooling, we've got whatyou need. Now Thrive isn't
always open, and when it isopen, seats can be limited. So
(06:41):
the best way to stay in the loopis to hop on the waitlist. I'll
drop that link in the show notestoo.
And we always give somethingspecial to our waitlisters.
Okay. Our first point for today,this is gonna be so fun. I wanna
talk about something wild. Didyou know that your brain would
rather make the same grocerystore loop every week, pass the
bakery, through the produce,ending at Checkout Lane 3, then
(07:04):
try a more efficient route?
And when someone suggests ashortcut through Aisle 7, your
brain goes into panic mode. ButI know my way. What if I end up
in that super bougie expensivebeverage section where a
probiotic water cost me $20 andnever escape? That is status quo
bias. And it's basically ourbrains saying, don't make me
(07:26):
think about this.
I've got 17 other things tomentally juggle. You see, our
minds conserve energy for theactual important stuff, like
remembering if you fed the dogor just thought about feeding
the dog. The familiar path, evenif it's chaotic or probably
inferior, often feels safersimply because it's known. Now
hang on with me because I willland this plane in just a
(07:48):
second. In our brains, theunknown requires effort, risk,
and the uncomfortablepossibility that we've been
doing it the hard way all along,and often we're not ready for
that.
So when you're in a socialsituation, someone asks you
where your kids go to school andyou share with them that you're
homeschooling, people feel likeyou're standing in the school
pickup line with a megaphonesaying, hey, there's another way
(08:08):
to do this. And suddenly,everyone who's been sitting in
that carpool lane for years iswondering if their tried and
true path is still the bestoption. I was once in a mom's
group, and all the moms werecomplaining about their morning
routine nightmares on and on andon. And everyone was sharing
their stories. And then theylooked to me, and they're like,
how was your morning expectingme to commiserate with them?
(08:28):
And I was honest, and I said,actually, my mornings are pretty
peaceful. And you know whathappened? The room went quiet.
They didn't know what to do.Because our different reality
can make people reckon with thefact that their chaos might be
optional.
Your calm can easily becometheir crisis, especially if
they're insecure. Your shortcutbecomes their referendum. See,
(08:51):
this is naturally what thehomeschooling conversation can
do in social situations. Yourchoice to homeschool becomes
living proof that alternativesexist, and alternatives raise
uncomfortable questions thatpeople aren't ready for. Should
I be doing something different?
Is what she's doing better forher kids than what I'm doing?
Have I been making this harderthan I need it to be? Most
(09:13):
people aren't consciouslythinking this, but their
discomfort leaks out anyway. Soin awkward situations like this,
here's what to do. Remember thattheir discomfort is not your
emotional support animal to carefor.
When someone interrogates youfor your choice, they're often
really just defending their own.Your job isn't to write a
thesis. It's just to stayanchored. You don't owe anybody
(09:36):
anything. A simple answer,homeschooling works really well
for our family, is a completesentence.
You don't have to elaborate.When you resist overexplaining,
you signal that this isn't upfor committee review, that I
don't need to defend myself. Weare not in the court of public
opinion. And most people,honestly, they will respect that
boundary. The ones who don't,well, yeah, they're just
(09:58):
wrestling with their ownemotional immaturity or anxiety,
and no amount of explaining willfix what's happening in their
head.
So you can just let it go. It'snot yours to take. I'm so
curious. Drop a comment and tellme what's your go to one liner
response when someone questionsyour homeschooling choice? I'd
love to hear what's working foryou, and I know mom is in the
comments.
We'll love hearing all thegenius answers that you guys
(10:20):
have. Okay. So that was statusquo bias. This explains why
people get uncomfortable whenyou choose a different path. But
here's where it gets even moreinteresting.
Sometimes people aren't justuncomfortable with your choice.
Sometimes they're actuallyhanding you their problems and
expecting you to carry them. Andtrust me, once you see this next
one in action, you can neverunsee it, and we'll talk about
(10:42):
it right after this. You knowhow feeding a homeschool family
can feel like running a twentyfour hour diner with a revolving
menu? Yeah.
Me too. But here's my secretweapon for keeping everyone fed
without losing my mind orblowing the budget. Azure
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(11:03):
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(11:24):
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That's CHRISTYFAITH15 at a z u re standard dot com. Welcome
back. Alright. Let's talk aboutthis whole handing you their
(11:45):
problems thing. Because once yourecognize it, it's going to
change every awkwardconversation that you are in.
We're gonna talk about shameprojection or the art of other
people handing you theirproblems that aren't yours and
then expecting you to solvethem. This is where you get, oh
my goodness. I could neverhomeschool. I can barely get
through a weekend with my kidswithout losing my mind. When you
(12:08):
hear those, don't you just wannascream?
Here's what's fascinating aboutthose comments. I would put in,
I'm not patient enough tohomeschool or my kid and I are
oil and water, all those thingsthat you've heard. It sounds
like a conversation abouthomeschooling, but it's actually
a therapy session about her lastTuesday. This is shame
projection, and once you see it,you can't unsee it. So shame
(12:31):
projection happens when someonefeels insecure about their
choices, so they take thosefeelings, gift wrap them in
concern about you, and then handthem to you like the emotional
package that you never ordered.
Prime shipping included. It'sreally not malicious. Most
people have no idea they'redoing it. It's just easier for
them to point at your riskychoices rather than their own
(12:52):
uncomfortable feelings.Translation guide.
When they say, but what aboutsocialization? They might be
thinking, I'm not sure my kidhas enough meaningful
friendships. When they say, whatabout prom? They're processing
their own nostalgia andunexamined assumptions about
what makes a childhoodmeaningful. Homeschoolers are
just triggering in general.
(13:13):
It's something that we need toaccept because our choice
communicates that there'sanother way and a better way and
that we chose it and that we'remaking sacrifices to do it, and
they know it. Now don't get mewrong. Not everyone can
homeschool, and not everyoneshould homeschool. But it's
pretty common in just everydayconversation when homeschooling
comes up for our homeschoolingto trigger someone else's
(13:35):
internal monologue and fears orguilt that they haven't dealt
with yet. Because I'm gonna saysomething right now that might
be unpopular.
If you can barely stand yourkids for a weekend, that's a
problem that needs to be fixed.I want you to enjoy your kids
and love your kids, and that'ssomething to fight for. That's
not a reason to hand them off onMonday morning. That's such a
fixed mindset, and to me, that'sso sad. It's so common that
(13:57):
other people's worries sneak outdisguised as your problems, but
you're not required to acceptdelivery on that emotional
Amazon package.
Okay? So here's what to do.Respond with empathy. Don't come
off as judgy or mean or snooty.Sometimes it's good just to
deflect and say, oh, man.
My kids have grown so much sinceI brought them home. They were
(14:18):
really struggling before, andwe're finally seeing progress.
You can talk about the positivesof homeschooling and make it
really personal so that they canagree with you on it. And if
someone cloaks their ownconcerns with kind of a
judginess to it, it's okay toset a boundary too. You can say
something like, I appreciate theconcern.
We're really happy with howthings are going, and we have no
(14:38):
concerns about our kids' futureor our kids' social life or our
kids' academics, or our kids'blank. You can fill in the
blank. Choose your ownadventure, and then redirect.
You know if someone's actuallycurious or not. It's okay
sometimes to change the subject,ask about their kids, the
weather, literally anythingelse.
You're not being rude. You'rejust politely declining to sign
up for their emotional packagedelivery. What are your go to
(15:01):
replies when someone kindaprojects their parenting fears
or what they're worried about onyou? I'd love to hear. Okay.
So now you know how to spotshame projection when you see
it. Right? We're like looking atthe matrix here, aren't we?
Here's where things get reallyinteresting. What happens when
your kids are clearly thrivingand people still invent
problems?
(15:22):
Let's talk about that. If you'retaking notes, I hope you're not.
I hope you're just sitting hereenjoying it. We're gonna talk
about cognitive dissonance oraka when your thriving kids
break someone else's brain.Okay.
Picture this. Someone runs intoyou at the farmer's market. Your
kids are explaining to themushroom vendor why shiitakes
grow on logs while portobellosneed composted manure, casually
(15:45):
dropping words like mycelium.They're making eye contact,
asking follow-up questions, andare genuinely engaged. And the
vendor is charmed.
The person watching you asks,oh, why aren't your kids in
school? And you reply thatyou're a homeschooler, and then
all of a sudden, their concerncomes out. But aren't you
worried they're missing out onstanding in the lunch line and
(16:07):
navigating school drama? That'ssuch an important life skill. So
wait a minute here.
Your kids are conducting amycology seminar with a small
business owner, and this ladyover here is worried about
cafeteria lines? Welcome tocognitive dissonance, where
observable reality and deeplyheld beliefs enter a cage match,
and you're the referee. Socognitive dissonance is the
(16:28):
mental discomfort people feelwhen new information contradicts
existing beliefs, and weactually all have it. We need to
be intellectually honest here.Their worldview says kids need
traditional school to thrive andfunction in society, and your
thriving homeschooled kids say,well, actually, the evidence
suggests otherwise.
Take a look. Now their brain isforced to do Olympic level
(16:52):
mental gymnastics to make thepuzzle pieces fit. The sad thing
is most people genuinely feelpretty threatened by other
people's choices. I don't knowwhy. I think emotional maturity
is when you can reach a level ofnonchalance where you just don't
care what people think, and youdon't feel judged by other
people's decisions.
But quite frankly, most peopledon't calmly update their
(17:14):
beliefs. Sadly, they doubledown. So when your well adjusted
kids challenge someone'sassumptions about education,
they do the same thing. Ifthey're unhealthy, they'll
manufacture problems just tosoothe their present dissonance.
Like, just wait until highschool.
But what about the real world?And we can fall into the trap of
wanting to make excuses and toexplain ourselves and to explain
(17:37):
our homeschooling choice andgive you all the data and all of
the things. But the reality isthey're probably not really
worried about your kid's future.They're more likely patching the
crack in their own worldview. Sohere's what to do when you face
cognitive dissonance.
Remember that it's not yourpuzzle to solve. You already did
the work, and you arrived thathomeschooling was the best
(17:57):
choice for your family. Youdon't need to do the work for
her too. When someone insiststhat your thriving kids must be
missing something, you can justkeep it light. Oh, my kids are
doing great.
Every family has their own path.We love ours. My go to is, oh,
man. We just love thehomeschooling lifestyle. And if
they escalate into doomsdayprophecies regarding your
children, you can just say,we'll cross that bridge when we
(18:20):
get there.
I don't recommend this, but onetime Scott said, well, I guess
we'll just roll the dice. Idon't know. That's probably bad
advice. But the point is toreach this level of unbothered,
which is where I want you to be,it's important that you refuse
to absorb other people'sanxiety. You are not a sponge.
Their mental gymnastics routineis their workout. It's not
(18:41):
yours. So cognitive dissonanceexplains why people invent
future problems for your kidseven when they're doing pretty
darn great right now. Butthere's one more bias that
honestly is my favorite, and itis really sneaky. It's the one
where someone will hold on tothat one weird story about that
one homeschooled kid that theyonce knew on the block, and
(19:04):
they'll hold on to that forliterally decades while
completely ignoring everysuccess story right in front of
them.
If you've ever wondered why yourthriving kids still don't seem
to count as evidence, you'reabout to find out why. And this
one's a doozy. We'll be rightback. As a homeschool mom who
values a family togetherapproach and leans towards the
(19:26):
classical and Charlotte Masonstyles, I often struggle to
bring my educational vision tolife with my kids' diverse ages
and learning needs. With all ourinterests and super packed
schedule, bridging that gapbetween the dreamy homeschool I
want and reality, I gotta behonest.
It's a challenge. Now, yes, Iknow perfection isn't the goal.
But if you're listening and youcould use a little easing of
(19:46):
your mental load in your day today, I found a resource that has
become the quiet hero of ourroutine, and it could be a
really great option for you too.BJU Press homeschool curriculum.
Now many think that BJU Presshomeschool is solely an all in
one option, and though it doesexcel in that role, did you know
you can also opt for specificcourses and tailor them to fit
your family's needs just as Ihave?
(20:08):
BGU Press Homeschool providesthe perfect balance of structure
and flexibility and easilycomplements my family's mixed
age family together on the couchlearning style. They are second
to none in integrating abiblical worldview, stimulating
critical thinking, and offeringtons of hands on activities in
the lessons. To find out how BJUPress Homeschool can come
(20:28):
alongside you in yourhomeschooling goals too. Visit
bjupresshomeschool.com or clickthe link in the show notes.
Before we continue, I wannashare with you a program that's
been a game changer for ourhomeschool.
At our center, we instructed andhelped kids through pretty much
every math program on the marketand know firsthand just how
important a solid mathfoundation is for our kids'
(20:49):
futures. As a career educatorwith high standards, finding the
right program that checked allthe boxes felt like too tall of
an order until one day I triedCTC Math. CTC Math is an online
math curriculum for K to 12students with motivating
interactive lessons that allowkids to learn at their own pace.
It does all the teaching andgrading so you don't have to,
and their adaptive lessonsadjust so your child is
(21:11):
progressing confidently. WithCTC Math, your child is getting
a top notch education, and youjust made your homeschool life
easier.
Visit ctcmath.com to start yourfree trial today or click the
link in the show notes. Beforewe get into our last point of
the day, I wanna have some realtalk real quick, and it's about
this show. For those of you whohave listened to my show, you
know what to do right now. Andfor those of you who haven't
(21:33):
heard this part, please stop andlisten up. This isn't gonna be
professional Christy talking.
It's just you and me, twohomeschool moms. It is so
important to me that I keep thisshow free, and I do not
gatekeep. I give you all of me.Like today, with the
psychological breakdowns, somesample scripts, and confidence
building tools, all without youspending a single dime. And I
(21:56):
love that.
And I'm thankful to the sponsorswho make that possible. But
here's where you come in. Rightnow, there's another mom
Googling how to respond whenpeople judge my homeschooling at
11PM feeling alone and secondguessing everything. And you,
you can be the reason she findsthis episode. This is the
perfect moment right now whileI'm talking to take ten seconds
(22:18):
for you to pause and leave aquick comment, leave an
encouragement, leave a snarkycomment, drop some stars, or hit
that subscribe button.
That tiny action tells thealgorithm that this show
deserves to be seen. And itcosts you nothing, but it could
mean everything to a momsearching in the dark right now.
You see, this podcast is abouttransforming families and
(22:39):
building a movement of momstaking back the hearts and minds
of their kids. Sadly, thoserobots want us to play a game.
So I'm asking you to play it andbe a part of that mission just
by being here and engaging withthe show.
So if you believe in what we'redoing here, would you please
just take ten seconds right nowand engage? It's free, it's
fast, and it really is powerful.From my heart, I'm thankful.
(23:01):
Okay. So we've saved the bestfor last.
The last point of the day. Thisis my favorite because it
explains so much about why somepeople will just not update
their beliefs no matter what youshow them. They're just sticks
in the mud, and it isconfirmation bias. Or as I like
to call it, the one weirdhomeschool kid they'll never
forget. No matter how manyextracurriculars, how many
(23:23):
sports, how many youth groupvisits, science fairs your kid
dominates, or how they naturallychat with adults and kids,
people of all different ages,someone always has a story about
that one homeschool kid who woremedieval tunics until age 19 and
genuinely believed Canada was amyth perpetuated by mapmakers.
(23:44):
Confirmation bias enters thechat, where the mental filing
cabinet where every oddballhomeschool antidote lives rent
free in a penthouse suite whilecontradicting evidence gets
filed under doesn't count.Here's how it works. Our brain
loves to notice, remember, andweigh information that confirms
(24:04):
what we already want to believewhile conveniently ignoring
everything that doesn't. Ifsomeone believes homeschoolers
are socially awkward, they'llremember the one kid who
struggled and forget the 12 whoorganized the neighborhood
kickball league like fortunefive hundred project managers.
If they think traditional schoolis the only path that's right,
(24:24):
they'll file away everyhomeschool concern while
overlooking every public schoolfailure story.
And take a look at Nation'sreport card. There's a lot of
them. I am sure this frustratesall of you listening today. So
what we need to let go of isthinking that we can logic
someone out of theirconfirmation bias, especially
(24:45):
when they're really attached toit. You can show them your
thriving kids, and their brainwill make it not count.
Well, your kids are justdifferent. Or, well, you're
homeschooling the right way, andso many people do it wrong. Have
you heard that one before? Thatone gets to me. Any evidence
that challenges their beliefjust gets dismissed.
So here's what to do when youare faced with this. You have
(25:07):
permission right now to stoptrying to be the perfect
homeschool ambassador and toanalyze what you say and how you
say it, and then to ruminateafterwards on what you wish you
would have said instead. Or geta little bit worked up and then
feel bad about how you respondedand wish that you were kinder.
Let's not even go there. Youdon't need to prove anything.
When someone shares theircautionary tale, you can smile
(25:28):
and say, oh, interesting. Thathasn't been our experience. Full
stop. Just let it sit there likean awkward casserole at a
potluck. You don't need tocounter with your own evidence
parade.
It rarely changes the mind, andit exhausts you. The people who
are genuinely curious will askreal questions. The ones stuck
in confirmation bias willbelieve what they want to
(25:49):
anyway. So save your energy.Live your life visibly and
confidently.
Let your kids be who they are.That's all the proof you need.
The rest, that's their filingsystem to organize, not yours.
Now I wanna ask you a questionright now because I am so
curious. I have heard of oneperson where this happens to.
Have you ever had someonecompletely change their mind
(26:11):
about homeschooling after seeingyour kids and your family? I
would love to hear your story.Please share that in the
comments. Okay. Now let's getinto the quote of the week.
Here's what I want you to walkaway with today. You don't have
to get defensive. You don't haveto over explain. You don't have
to be put in a position whereyou're gonna say something that
you'll regret later just becausesomeone made you feel like you
(26:32):
owe them a thesis defense foryour educational choices. What
you learned today, those fourbiases, they're not just
psychology trivia.
They're your permission slip tostay calm, set boundaries, and
feel confident in your choicewithout ever apologizing for it.
A simple response, we've weighedthe pros and cons, and it's
(26:53):
working really well for ourfamily, is all you need. That's
it. No guilt, no scrambling, nodefensiveness. And here's my
quote of the week, and I lovethis one.
The wrong people will prove youcan do it all by yourself. The
right people will show you thatyou don't have to. Listen. If
you're surrounded by critics,questioners, and people who make
(27:14):
you feel like you're constantlyon trial for homeschooling, it's
exhausting, isn't it? Andisolating.
But here's the thing. You don'thave to do this alone. You
deserve to be in a communitywhere people get it, where
you're not defending yourchoices, but celebrating them,
and where someone actually hasyour back. If this quote
resonated with you at all, I'dlove to send you completely for
(27:36):
free a beautifully designed notecard featuring it. Perfect for
your mirror, your car dashboard,or on your coffee maker, or
anywhere that you wanna see iton a regular basis.
It's my little gift to remindyou that you're not
homeschooling solo, and as athank you for engaging with this
show. Whether it's by liking it,leaving a review, giving it all
(27:57):
the stars if you feel like thosestars are deserved, or
commenting, or all of the above.You'll find a link to this
beautiful ready to print notecard in the show notes. Just
print it, cut it out, and let itencourage you, friend. And if
you want me to see it, tag me onsocial media.
We see everything and read everycomment and DM, and we want you
(28:17):
to know that you are part of acommunity here in Christy
Faith land. And speaking ofcommunity, if you're tired of
feeling alone in yourhomeschooling journey or you
need some coaching and someexperts to give you some solid
advising, come check out Thrive.In Thrive Homeschool Community,
it's a space where homeschoolmoms get it, support each other,
and celebrate the wins withoutjudgment. And did you know that
(28:38):
you get instant access toexperts in there? You don't have
to book consultation calls forhundreds of dollars.
It's an affordable way to giveyour kids the best education
possible and the one theydeserve, and it's what I wish I
had when I startedhomeschooling. And it wasn't
there, so I built it. You don'thave to feel alone and isolated
one more day. If you like thisepisode and need more on this
(29:00):
topic, I got you covered. I'veput two shows in the show notes
that go even deeper on some ofthe topics that we discussed
today, so go ahead and checkthose out.
Thank you for being here. Thankyou for having the courage to
choose what's best for yourfamily, and thank you for being
a part of our incredible missionhere on the Christy Faith Show.
I will see you next week.
Pop quiz. What's the fastest way to get
(00:02):
unsolicited advice from acomplete stranger, your second
cousin twice removed, or the guywho bags your groceries? Ding
ding ding. Tell them youhomeschool. You're just over
here trying to buy avocados, andsuddenly, you're defending your
educational philosophy likeyou're defending your
dissertation.
Welcome to the Christy FaithShow. Today, we're turning those
(00:24):
awkward, eye twitching inducingmoments into pure nonchalance,
and I'm gonna help you reach themost epic level of unbothered.
And I hope I don't disappointyou, but today, I'm not here to
arm you with the most cuttingcomeback or teach you how to be
mean to people who question yourhomeschooling decision. That
(00:44):
doesn't help your mental state,your relationships, or the
homeschooling cause in general.We don't wanna just make people
mad nor do we wanna come off asprideful.
Instead, we wanna figure out howwe can disarm, calm everybody
down so that you can exudeconfidence. So instead, we're
going to decode why the decisionto homeschool makes other people
(01:06):
so stinking weird. Because thefunny thing is, and I'm sure you
would agree, telling someonethat you homeschool is quite the
social experiment. Youimmediately find out who thinks
you're a revolutionary geniusand who thinks you're personally
crafting a tinfoil hat for yourchild in the basement. You've
shown up to a social event andsuddenly aunt Patty's got
questions, the neighbors peeringover the fence, and everyone you
(01:29):
know plus three people you don'tknow, all of a sudden become
educational experts hungry fordetails.
It's like you announced plottwist, and the world started
flipping through the scriptlooking for their lines. Here's
what most people don't realize.Those rapid fire questions and
those sideways glances, they'rerarely about you. Most of the
time, it's just folks reactingto a new recipe when they've
(01:52):
been eating the same casseroletheir whole lives. You're the
unexpected spice, and they'renot sure if it's paprika or
ghost pepper.
So today, we're doing a crashcourse on the psychology behind
homeschool skepticism. I'm goingto show you four psychological
tendencies that when seen forwhat they really are, will help
you realize other people'sopinions aren't really about
(02:15):
you, which is pretty freeing.And then I'm gonna give you
responses so graceful they'llleave the critics speechless.
The kind where you don't fallinto people pleasing or
compromising your convictions,but you're kind, softhearted,
and actually make peoplegenuinely curious about
homeschooling. Maybe even agreewith your concerns and your why.
(02:36):
By the time we're done today,you'll walk into the next
barbecue or holiday gathering soup leveled that not even your
mother in law's helpfulsuggestions can penetrate your
calm confidence. Trust me, thisshow will be the eye opener mini
masterclass you needed. Let'sgo. Hello, everybody. Welcome to
(03:07):
the show.
Before we get into the goods,one thing I know a lot of you
could use more of each month iscash. I've got something that
could instantly put thousands ofdollars back into your pocket
for doing absolutely nothing. Solisten up. You may not need to
do that side hustle after all,and it's switching health
(03:28):
insurance. Health insurance usedto be a huge burden for our
family.
We were paying $2,000 a monthfor coverage that we barely even
used. It felt like we were justthrowing money away until we
made the switch to SummitHealthShare. For our family of
six, that decision instantlystarted saving us over a
thousand dollars every month.And yes, I know you're doing the
(03:50):
math right now. That's $12,000 ayear that we got back into our
pockets instantly.
Summit HealthShare replaceshealth insurance. It gives you
the same or better protectionthat you need, and it can help
you save between 40 and 60percent on your health care
costs. Now I know what you'rethinking right now, but what
about the coverage, Christy?Will it be the same? It's
(04:11):
probably gonna be better.
You can keep your same doctors.It covers major medical,
wellness visits, and maternity.And here's what I love about it
because I'm all about medicalfreedom. It even includes
holistic and functional. Guys,they even have plans that offer
free labs and free prescriptiondrugs, which I'm particularly
needing right now because of myperimenopausal phase recently.
(04:32):
I need a lot of labs, and youknow what? I haven't paid for a
single one. Summit HealthShareisn't too good to be true.
You've just been fed lies bytraditional health insurance
companies. Bottom line, SummitHealthShare is better than
traditional insurance, and itcosts less.
What would you do with an extra$5.10, $12,000 per year? I know
(04:52):
what I'd do. All it takes is onecall. Visit
summithealthshare.com to talk toa friendly representative.
They're nice.
They're helpful. They're notsalesy at all, and they will
walk you through every step tomake the change. And, yes, they
work with individuals, groups,and businesses. That's
summithealthshare.com, and Iwill put a link in the show
notes. Alright.
(05:13):
Now that we've got that coveredand hopefully saved you some
serious money for all thatcurriculum that I know you've
been eyeballing, let meintroduce myself if you're new
here or reintroduce myself ifyou haven't been around for a
while. Hi. I'm Christy Faith,education and parenting expert
with over twenty yearsexperience teaching teachers,
coaching parents, and workingwith kids. I'm the author of
(05:34):
Homeschool Rising, the bookthat's here to give you the
confidence you need tohomeschool boldly. You can find
that on Amazon Prime.
But that's not all. I'm also aspeaker, and nothing lights me
up more than meeting you inperson. So if you've got an
event, reach out. We've gotcreative ways to make it happen
without breaking the bank. Andof course, I would be remiss
without sharing the heart ofwhat I do.
(05:57):
I am also the founder of ThriveHomeschool Community. Thrive
exists because I know you. Youwant the best education possible
for your kids, but let's bereal. Homeschooling can often
feel like a solo mission builton random internet advice and
crossed fingers. ThriveHomeschool Community gives you
the proven framework, access toexperts, and a supportive
(06:18):
community all at an affordableprice that works for families.
Moms who join often tell me theycan't imagine ever homeschooling
without Thrive. So if you'refeeling overwhelmed, if you've
got homeschool problems, ifyou're second guessing yourself,
worried about your kids, or justneed to know how to start
homeschooling, we've got whatyou need. Now Thrive isn't
always open, and when it isopen, seats can be limited. So
(06:41):
the best way to stay in the loopis to hop on the waitlist. I'll
drop that link in the show notestoo.
And we always give somethingspecial to our waitlisters.
Okay. Our first point for today,this is gonna be so fun. I wanna
talk about something wild. Didyou know that your brain would
rather make the same grocerystore loop every week, pass the
bakery, through the produce,ending at Checkout Lane 3, then
(07:04):
try a more efficient route?
And when someone suggests ashortcut through Aisle 7, your
brain goes into panic mode. ButI know my way. What if I end up
in that super bougie expensivebeverage section where a
probiotic water cost me $20 andnever escape? That is status quo
bias. And it's basically ourbrains saying, don't make me
(07:26):
think about this.
I've got 17 other things tomentally juggle. You see, our
minds conserve energy for theactual important stuff, like
remembering if you fed the dogor just thought about feeding
the dog. The familiar path, evenif it's chaotic or probably
inferior, often feels safersimply because it's known. Now
hang on with me because I willland this plane in just a
(07:48):
second. In our brains, theunknown requires effort, risk,
and the uncomfortablepossibility that we've been
doing it the hard way all along,and often we're not ready for
that.
So when you're in a socialsituation, someone asks you
where your kids go to school andyou share with them that you're
homeschooling, people feel likeyou're standing in the school
pickup line with a megaphonesaying, hey, there's another way
(08:08):
to do this. And suddenly,everyone who's been sitting in
that carpool lane for years iswondering if their tried and
true path is still the bestoption. I was once in a mom's
group, and all the moms werecomplaining about their morning
routine nightmares on and on andon. And everyone was sharing
their stories. And then theylooked to me, and they're like,
how was your morning expectingme to commiserate with them?
(08:28):
And I was honest, and I said,actually, my mornings are pretty
peaceful. And you know whathappened? The room went quiet.
They didn't know what to do.Because our different reality
can make people reckon with thefact that their chaos might be
optional.
Your calm can easily becometheir crisis, especially if
they're insecure. Your shortcutbecomes their referendum. See,
(08:51):
this is naturally what thehomeschooling conversation can
do in social situations. Yourchoice to homeschool becomes
living proof that alternativesexist, and alternatives raise
uncomfortable questions thatpeople aren't ready for. Should
I be doing something different?
Is what she's doing better forher kids than what I'm doing?
Have I been making this harderthan I need it to be? Most
(09:13):
people aren't consciouslythinking this, but their
discomfort leaks out anyway. Soin awkward situations like this,
here's what to do. Remember thattheir discomfort is not your
emotional support animal to carefor.
When someone interrogates youfor your choice, they're often
really just defending their own.Your job isn't to write a
thesis. It's just to stayanchored. You don't owe anybody
(09:36):
anything. A simple answer,homeschooling works really well
for our family, is a completesentence.
You don't have to elaborate.When you resist overexplaining,
you signal that this isn't upfor committee review, that I
don't need to defend myself. Weare not in the court of public
opinion. And most people,honestly, they will respect that
boundary. The ones who don't,well, yeah, they're just
(09:58):
wrestling with their ownemotional immaturity or anxiety,
and no amount of explaining willfix what's happening in their
head.
So you can just let it go. It'snot yours to take. I'm so
curious. Drop a comment and tellme what's your go to one liner
response when someone questionsyour homeschooling choice? I'd
love to hear what's working foryou, and I know mom is in the
comments.
We'll love hearing all thegenius answers that you guys
(10:20):
have. Okay. So that was statusquo bias. This explains why
people get uncomfortable whenyou choose a different path. But
here's where it gets even moreinteresting.
Sometimes people aren't justuncomfortable with your choice.
Sometimes they're actuallyhanding you their problems and
expecting you to carry them. Andtrust me, once you see this next
one in action, you can neverunsee it, and we'll talk about
(10:42):
it right after this. You knowhow feeding a homeschool family
can feel like running a twentyfour hour diner with a revolving
menu? Yeah.
Me too. But here's my secretweapon for keeping everyone fed
without losing my mind orblowing the budget. Azure
Standard. Azure is a homeschoolfamily owned company dedicated
(11:03):
to providing affordable organic,natural, and non GMO groceries,
health, household, and gardenproducts. In fact, they have
over 12,000 options to meet yourneeds as a health minded
household.
All vetted ahead of time to befree of harmful preservatives,
food colorings, chemicals, andpesticides. Tired of spending
(11:24):
too much on health food? GiveAzure a try. Your body and your
bank account will thank youlater. Use code CHRISTYFAITH15
and get 15% off your first orderat azurestandard.com.
That's CHRISTYFAITH15 at a z u re standard dot com. Welcome
back. Alright. Let's talk aboutthis whole handing you their
(11:45):
problems thing. Because once yourecognize it, it's going to
change every awkwardconversation that you are in.
We're gonna talk about shameprojection or the art of other
people handing you theirproblems that aren't yours and
then expecting you to solvethem. This is where you get, oh
my goodness. I could neverhomeschool. I can barely get
through a weekend with my kidswithout losing my mind. When you
(12:08):
hear those, don't you just wannascream?
Here's what's fascinating aboutthose comments. I would put in,
I'm not patient enough tohomeschool or my kid and I are
oil and water, all those thingsthat you've heard. It sounds
like a conversation abouthomeschooling, but it's actually
a therapy session about her lastTuesday. This is shame
projection, and once you see it,you can't unsee it. So shame
(12:31):
projection happens when someonefeels insecure about their
choices, so they take thosefeelings, gift wrap them in
concern about you, and then handthem to you like the emotional
package that you never ordered.
Prime shipping included. It'sreally not malicious. Most
people have no idea they'redoing it. It's just easier for
them to point at your riskychoices rather than their own
(12:52):
uncomfortable feelings.Translation guide.
When they say, but what aboutsocialization? They might be
thinking, I'm not sure my kidhas enough meaningful
friendships. When they say, whatabout prom? They're processing
their own nostalgia andunexamined assumptions about
what makes a childhoodmeaningful. Homeschoolers are
just triggering in general.
(13:13):
It's something that we need toaccept because our choice
communicates that there'sanother way and a better way and
that we chose it and that we'remaking sacrifices to do it, and
they know it. Now don't get mewrong. Not everyone can
homeschool, and not everyoneshould homeschool. But it's
pretty common in just everydayconversation when homeschooling
comes up for our homeschoolingto trigger someone else's
(13:35):
internal monologue and fears orguilt that they haven't dealt
with yet. Because I'm gonna saysomething right now that might
be unpopular.
If you can barely stand yourkids for a weekend, that's a
problem that needs to be fixed.I want you to enjoy your kids
and love your kids, and that'ssomething to fight for. That's
not a reason to hand them off onMonday morning. That's such a
fixed mindset, and to me, that'sso sad. It's so common that
(13:57):
other people's worries sneak outdisguised as your problems, but
you're not required to acceptdelivery on that emotional
Amazon package.
Okay? So here's what to do.Respond with empathy. Don't come
off as judgy or mean or snooty.Sometimes it's good just to
deflect and say, oh, man.
My kids have grown so much sinceI brought them home. They were
(14:18):
really struggling before, andwe're finally seeing progress.
You can talk about the positivesof homeschooling and make it
really personal so that they canagree with you on it. And if
someone cloaks their ownconcerns with kind of a
judginess to it, it's okay toset a boundary too. You can say
something like, I appreciate theconcern.
We're really happy with howthings are going, and we have no
(14:38):
concerns about our kids' futureor our kids' social life or our
kids' academics, or our kids'blank. You can fill in the
blank. Choose your ownadventure, and then redirect.
You know if someone's actuallycurious or not. It's okay
sometimes to change the subject,ask about their kids, the
weather, literally anythingelse.
You're not being rude. You'rejust politely declining to sign
up for their emotional packagedelivery. What are your go to
(15:01):
replies when someone kindaprojects their parenting fears
or what they're worried about onyou? I'd love to hear. Okay.
So now you know how to spotshame projection when you see
it. Right? We're like looking atthe matrix here, aren't we?
Here's where things get reallyinteresting. What happens when
your kids are clearly thrivingand people still invent
problems?
(15:22):
Let's talk about that. If you'retaking notes, I hope you're not.
I hope you're just sitting hereenjoying it. We're gonna talk
about cognitive dissonance oraka when your thriving kids
break someone else's brain.Okay.
Picture this. Someone runs intoyou at the farmer's market. Your
kids are explaining to themushroom vendor why shiitakes
grow on logs while portobellosneed composted manure, casually
(15:45):
dropping words like mycelium.They're making eye contact,
asking follow-up questions, andare genuinely engaged. And the
vendor is charmed.
The person watching you asks,oh, why aren't your kids in
school? And you reply thatyou're a homeschooler, and then
all of a sudden, their concerncomes out. But aren't you
worried they're missing out onstanding in the lunch line and
(16:07):
navigating school drama? That'ssuch an important life skill. So
wait a minute here.
Your kids are conducting amycology seminar with a small
business owner, and this ladyover here is worried about
cafeteria lines? Welcome tocognitive dissonance, where
observable reality and deeplyheld beliefs enter a cage match,
and you're the referee. Socognitive dissonance is the
(16:28):
mental discomfort people feelwhen new information contradicts
existing beliefs, and weactually all have it. We need to
be intellectually honest here.Their worldview says kids need
traditional school to thrive andfunction in society, and your
thriving homeschooled kids say,well, actually, the evidence
suggests otherwise.
Take a look. Now their brain isforced to do Olympic level
(16:52):
mental gymnastics to make thepuzzle pieces fit. The sad thing
is most people genuinely feelpretty threatened by other
people's choices. I don't knowwhy. I think emotional maturity
is when you can reach a level ofnonchalance where you just don't
care what people think, and youdon't feel judged by other
people's decisions.
But quite frankly, most peopledon't calmly update their
(17:14):
beliefs. Sadly, they doubledown. So when your well adjusted
kids challenge someone'sassumptions about education,
they do the same thing. Ifthey're unhealthy, they'll
manufacture problems just tosoothe their present dissonance.
Like, just wait until highschool.
But what about the real world?And we can fall into the trap of
wanting to make excuses and toexplain ourselves and to explain
(17:37):
our homeschooling choice andgive you all the data and all of
the things. But the reality isthey're probably not really
worried about your kid's future.They're more likely patching the
crack in their own worldview. Sohere's what to do when you face
cognitive dissonance.
Remember that it's not yourpuzzle to solve. You already did
the work, and you arrived thathomeschooling was the best
(17:57):
choice for your family. Youdon't need to do the work for
her too. When someone insiststhat your thriving kids must be
missing something, you can justkeep it light. Oh, my kids are
doing great.
Every family has their own path.We love ours. My go to is, oh,
man. We just love thehomeschooling lifestyle. And if
they escalate into doomsdayprophecies regarding your
children, you can just say,we'll cross that bridge when we
(18:20):
get there.
I don't recommend this, but onetime Scott said, well, I guess
we'll just roll the dice. Idon't know. That's probably bad
advice. But the point is toreach this level of unbothered,
which is where I want you to be,it's important that you refuse
to absorb other people'sanxiety. You are not a sponge.
Their mental gymnastics routineis their workout. It's not
(18:41):
yours. So cognitive dissonanceexplains why people invent
future problems for your kidseven when they're doing pretty
darn great right now. Butthere's one more bias that
honestly is my favorite, and itis really sneaky. It's the one
where someone will hold on tothat one weird story about that
one homeschooled kid that theyonce knew on the block, and
(19:04):
they'll hold on to that forliterally decades while
completely ignoring everysuccess story right in front of
them.
If you've ever wondered why yourthriving kids still don't seem
to count as evidence, you'reabout to find out why. And this
one's a doozy. We'll be rightback. As a homeschool mom who
values a family togetherapproach and leans towards the
(19:26):
classical and Charlotte Masonstyles, I often struggle to
bring my educational vision tolife with my kids' diverse ages
and learning needs. With all ourinterests and super packed
schedule, bridging that gapbetween the dreamy homeschool I
want and reality, I gotta behonest.
It's a challenge. Now, yes, Iknow perfection isn't the goal.
But if you're listening and youcould use a little easing of
(19:46):
your mental load in your day today, I found a resource that has
become the quiet hero of ourroutine, and it could be a
really great option for you too.BJU Press homeschool curriculum.
Now many think that BJU Presshomeschool is solely an all in
one option, and though it doesexcel in that role, did you know
you can also opt for specificcourses and tailor them to fit
your family's needs just as Ihave?
(20:08):
BGU Press Homeschool providesthe perfect balance of structure
and flexibility and easilycomplements my family's mixed
age family together on the couchlearning style. They are second
to none in integrating abiblical worldview, stimulating
critical thinking, and offeringtons of hands on activities in
the lessons. To find out how BJUPress Homeschool can come
(20:28):
alongside you in yourhomeschooling goals too. Visit
bjupresshomeschool.com or clickthe link in the show notes.
Before we continue, I wannashare with you a program that's
been a game changer for ourhomeschool.
At our center, we instructed andhelped kids through pretty much
every math program on the marketand know firsthand just how
important a solid mathfoundation is for our kids'
(20:49):
futures. As a career educatorwith high standards, finding the
right program that checked allthe boxes felt like too tall of
an order until one day I triedCTC Math. CTC Math is an online
math curriculum for K to 12students with motivating
interactive lessons that allowkids to learn at their own pace.
It does all the teaching andgrading so you don't have to,
and their adaptive lessonsadjust so your child is
(21:11):
progressing confidently. WithCTC Math, your child is getting
a top notch education, and youjust made your homeschool life
easier.
Visit ctcmath.com to start yourfree trial today or click the
link in the show notes. Beforewe get into our last point of
the day, I wanna have some realtalk real quick, and it's about
this show. For those of you whohave listened to my show, you
know what to do right now. Andfor those of you who haven't
(21:33):
heard this part, please stop andlisten up. This isn't gonna be
professional Christy talking.
It's just you and me, twohomeschool moms. It is so
important to me that I keep thisshow free, and I do not
gatekeep. I give you all of me.Like today, with the
psychological breakdowns, somesample scripts, and confidence
building tools, all without youspending a single dime. And I
(21:56):
love that.
And I'm thankful to the sponsorswho make that possible. But
here's where you come in. Rightnow, there's another mom
Googling how to respond whenpeople judge my homeschooling at
11PM feeling alone and secondguessing everything. And you,
you can be the reason she findsthis episode. This is the
perfect moment right now whileI'm talking to take ten seconds
(22:18):
for you to pause and leave aquick comment, leave an
encouragement, leave a snarkycomment, drop some stars, or hit
that subscribe button.
That tiny action tells thealgorithm that this show
deserves to be seen. And itcosts you nothing, but it could
mean everything to a momsearching in the dark right now.
You see, this podcast is abouttransforming families and
(22:39):
building a movement of momstaking back the hearts and minds
of their kids. Sadly, thoserobots want us to play a game.
So I'm asking you to play it andbe a part of that mission just
by being here and engaging withthe show.
So if you believe in what we'redoing here, would you please
just take ten seconds right nowand engage? It's free, it's
fast, and it really is powerful.From my heart, I'm thankful.
(23:01):
Okay. So we've saved the bestfor last.
The last point of the day. Thisis my favorite because it
explains so much about why somepeople will just not update
their beliefs no matter what youshow them. They're just sticks
in the mud, and it isconfirmation bias. Or as I like
to call it, the one weirdhomeschool kid they'll never
forget. No matter how manyextracurriculars, how many
(23:23):
sports, how many youth groupvisits, science fairs your kid
dominates, or how they naturallychat with adults and kids,
people of all different ages,someone always has a story about
that one homeschool kid who woremedieval tunics until age 19 and
genuinely believed Canada was amyth perpetuated by mapmakers.
(23:44):
Confirmation bias enters thechat, where the mental filing
cabinet where every oddballhomeschool antidote lives rent
free in a penthouse suite whilecontradicting evidence gets
filed under doesn't count.Here's how it works. Our brain
loves to notice, remember, andweigh information that confirms
(24:04):
what we already want to believewhile conveniently ignoring
everything that doesn't. Ifsomeone believes homeschoolers
are socially awkward, they'llremember the one kid who
struggled and forget the 12 whoorganized the neighborhood
kickball league like fortunefive hundred project managers.
If they think traditional schoolis the only path that's right,
(24:24):
they'll file away everyhomeschool concern while
overlooking every public schoolfailure story.
And take a look at Nation'sreport card. There's a lot of
them. I am sure this frustratesall of you listening today. So
what we need to let go of isthinking that we can logic
someone out of theirconfirmation bias, especially
(24:45):
when they're really attached toit. You can show them your
thriving kids, and their brainwill make it not count.
Well, your kids are justdifferent. Or, well, you're
homeschooling the right way, andso many people do it wrong. Have
you heard that one before? Thatone gets to me. Any evidence
that challenges their beliefjust gets dismissed.
So here's what to do when youare faced with this. You have
(25:07):
permission right now to stoptrying to be the perfect
homeschool ambassador and toanalyze what you say and how you
say it, and then to ruminateafterwards on what you wish you
would have said instead. Or geta little bit worked up and then
feel bad about how you respondedand wish that you were kinder.
Let's not even go there. Youdon't need to prove anything.
When someone shares theircautionary tale, you can smile
(25:28):
and say, oh, interesting. Thathasn't been our experience. Full
stop. Just let it sit there likean awkward casserole at a
potluck. You don't need tocounter with your own evidence
parade.
It rarely changes the mind, andit exhausts you. The people who
are genuinely curious will askreal questions. The ones stuck
in confirmation bias willbelieve what they want to
(25:49):
anyway. So save your energy.Live your life visibly and
confidently.
Let your kids be who they are.That's all the proof you need.
The rest, that's their filingsystem to organize, not yours.
Now I wanna ask you a questionright now because I am so
curious. I have heard of oneperson where this happens to.
Have you ever had someonecompletely change their mind
(26:11):
about homeschooling after seeingyour kids and your family? I
would love to hear your story.Please share that in the
comments. Okay. Now let's getinto the quote of the week.
Here's what I want you to walkaway with today. You don't have
to get defensive. You don't haveto over explain. You don't have
to be put in a position whereyou're gonna say something that
you'll regret later just becausesomeone made you feel like you
(26:32):
owe them a thesis defense foryour educational choices. What
you learned today, those fourbiases, they're not just
psychology trivia.
They're your permission slip tostay calm, set boundaries, and
feel confident in your choicewithout ever apologizing for it.
A simple response, we've weighedthe pros and cons, and it's
(26:53):
working really well for ourfamily, is all you need. That's
it. No guilt, no scrambling, nodefensiveness. And here's my
quote of the week, and I lovethis one.
The wrong people will prove youcan do it all by yourself. The
right people will show you thatyou don't have to. Listen. If
you're surrounded by critics,questioners, and people who make
(27:14):
you feel like you're constantlyon trial for homeschooling, it's
exhausting, isn't it? Andisolating.
But here's the thing. You don'thave to do this alone. You
deserve to be in a communitywhere people get it, where
you're not defending yourchoices, but celebrating them,
and where someone actually hasyour back. If this quote
resonated with you at all, I'dlove to send you completely for
(27:36):
free a beautifully designed notecard featuring it. Perfect for
your mirror, your car dashboard,or on your coffee maker, or
anywhere that you wanna see iton a regular basis.
It's my little gift to remindyou that you're not
homeschooling solo, and as athank you for engaging with this
show. Whether it's by liking it,leaving a review, giving it all
(27:57):
the stars if you feel like thosestars are deserved, or
commenting, or all of the above.You'll find a link to this
beautiful ready to print notecard in the show notes. Just
print it, cut it out, and let itencourage you, friend. And if
you want me to see it, tag me onsocial media.
We see everything and read everycomment and DM, and we want you
(28:17):
to know that you are part of acommunity here in Christy
Faith land. And speaking ofcommunity, if you're tired of
feeling alone in yourhomeschooling journey or you
need some coaching and someexperts to give you some solid
advising, come check out Thrive.In Thrive Homeschool Community,
it's a space where homeschoolmoms get it, support each other,
and celebrate the wins withoutjudgment. And did you know that
(28:38):
you get instant access toexperts in there? You don't have
to book consultation calls forhundreds of dollars.
It's an affordable way to giveyour kids the best education
possible and the one theydeserve, and it's what I wish I
had when I startedhomeschooling. And it wasn't
there, so I built it. You don'thave to feel alone and isolated
one more day. If you like thisepisode and need more on this
(29:00):
topic, I got you covered. I'veput two shows in the show notes
that go even deeper on some ofthe topics that we discussed
today, so go ahead and checkthose out.
Thank you for being here. Thankyou for having the courage to
choose what's best for yourfamily, and thank you for being
a part of our incredible missionhere on the Christy Faith Show.
I will see you next week.
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