August 29, 2025 • 30 mins
Syreta Toson shares her extraordinary journey from prison to purpose after serving 14 years for second-degree murder in a case stemming from an abusive relationship. Released in 2022, she's now creating an app to help formerly incarcerated people find housing and jobs while becoming a TEDx speaker.
• Growing up in poverty after parents' divorce led to exposure to drugs and alcohol at a young age
• Started working in adult entertainment at 19 to support her son
• Became trapped in a cycle of abuse with a pharmacist who used drugs to control her
• Shot her abuser in self-defense after multiple failed attempts to escape the relationship
• Used her 14+ years in prison to help others by becoming a GED tutor and leading a parenting program
• Reunited with her son who was 10 when she entered prison and 24 when she was released
• Now works with the Harvest Solutions app helping justice-impacted people find housing, jobs, and food security
• Speaks about "the power of the pivot" and resilience, encouraging people to change their narratives
• Advocates for prison reform and greater understanding of circumstances that lead to incarceration
If you're ready to get over your fears, self-doubts and past failures and break through your comfort zone to reach the pinnacle of success in every area of your life, head over to terrielfossum.com to pick up your free gifts and so much more.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
If you've been stuck in fear, self-doubt, your past
failures and you're ready tobreak through your comfort zones
to finally reach the pinnacleof success in every area of your
life, then this podcast is foryou.
Here's your host Terry L Fossum.
Terry L Fossum.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hey, terry L Fossum here and welcome back once again
to the Comeback Chroniclespodcast.
Got an amazing story for youtoday.
This one is going to completelyblow you away Not only what she
went through, but what she'sdoing with it.
My guest today is Sarita Tosin.
Get this.
In 2008, sarita found herselfin prison for a second-degree
(00:51):
murder after a series of baddecisions that included drug
addiction and staying in anabusive relationship.
Well, that abuse led her toshooting her abuser and more
than 14 years in jail.
But that's not the end of herstory.
Released in September of 2022,her subsequent story is a story
(01:12):
of transformation that she wantsto share and is sharing with
others who are facing adversity.
Get this.
After being out for less thanthree years, she's in her final
semester in college.
She's built the HarvestSolution app that helps people
navigate housing, food,insecurity and employment.
After being justice involved,she's a TEDx speaker and she's
(01:36):
sharing her message, her adviceand her guidance from the stage.
Sarita, thank you so much forjoining us today.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Terry, thank you so much for having me.
I am just beyond excited to beon a show called the Comeback
Chronicles and to be on yourshow because you've just been so
very welcoming and I'm grateful.
Thanks, Terry.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Well, you're making such a difference in the world,
terry.
Well, you're making such adifference in the world.
I'm truly passionate about andwe were talking about this about
what you're doing, because alltoo often people are
incarcerated for whatever reasonand then they're
re-incarcerated.
And they're re-incarcerated why?
Because they haven't changedthe mindset, they haven't gotten
the guidance of what to do, howto change where they came from.
(02:21):
So to have a story like yoursand I know you're comfortable
with us digging pretty deep intothe story and seeing where
you're going now, it's going tomake a difference in the world.
So I'm truly excited to haveyou here.
Let's talk.
Give the backstory, if youwould be so kind.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Sure, sure.
So I'm going to go way, wayback when I was pretty young
around 11, 12 years old myfamily we had always kind of
grew up in a suburbanneighborhood.
I don't remember us everfinancially needing anything and
then my parents went through adivorce and my mother, who, now
(03:02):
that I'm old enough and moremature, was, at like, absolutely
thrown into poverty and wedidn't have any money, and it
was just so different.
The neighborhood that we movedinto and I will just go ahead
and say that, like poverty, isan adverse childhood effect and
it kind of led me around peoplethat I had never been around,
(03:24):
and drugs and alcohol things Iwould have never thought about
experimenting with had become,you know, cool.
That was something, you know,something fun.
So then let's fast forward abit.
At 18, I had my child.
I'm struggling.
I am at a, you know, acrossroads.
(03:45):
I'm really trying to be a goodparent, but I cannot find a way
to sustain, to get out ofpoverty.
So I found adult entertainmentand I started working in what we
would call a strip club and Irealized that, you know, there
were people at the strip, therewere other girls, and I just
thought to myself, you know, Ireally wish one of these people
you know that own this clubwould just fall in love with me.
(04:07):
Well, you better be carefulwhat you wish for.
Yeah, because the next thing Iknow now, I started this when I
was 19.
And so I was basicallyescorting for a ring of
gentlemen that most of them weremarried and I didn't see any
problem with it.
That was a problem right there.
Yeah, that was a problem rightthere.
And you know I was thinking well, you know, I'm making good
(04:30):
money, I'm able to take care ofmy son.
Things are not.
Things aren't that bad.
Well then, around the time Iwas 22, 23 years old.
Well, actually I was 22.
I met the person that ended upshowing me that this lifestyle I
thought was fun, that I thoughtwas cool, was actually terrible
, and I had bitten off way morethan I could chew.
Because when we're in ourteenager years I don't know if
(04:52):
you were anything like me weknow everything.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
We know it all.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
So I had found this industry and I was cool and I
was involved in it until I metthis person who, I will say, was
a legal pharmacist and wasusing these drugs to keep me in
a state in which any andeverything was happening to me.
I was in bad shape.
I was in bad shape.
So now I'm 22 in this lastuntil I'm 28.
(05:20):
So many things have happened toyou know, I'm just a beat down
individual and I'm just waitinguntil my number is up.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Well, this evening, I got to pause.
I got to pause you therebecause there's so much in that
right there.
First of all, you've got apharmacist, a legal pharmacist,
so he's a community known person, right yes?
And he is giving you drugs tokeep you drugged, so you'll
(05:48):
continue to do whatever.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Do these things.
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Wow, and now?
So, now that you've reachedthat point, you have no control
over yourself at that pointanymore.
The drugs are controlling you.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Absolutely, and I'm just missing blocks of time.
So I finally, at this point,had made enough, you know,
squirreled enough back.
I'd got what they would call astraight job, working at a hotel
as a concierge.
And you know, I was stillbattling those demons.
But I was still, you know, ableto realize I needed to get out
(06:22):
as fast as I possibly could.
So I'd gotten an apartment.
I didn't even make it to paythe rent.
One time I got this apartment,the man picked me up, hold a gun
on me instantly.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Now, who did the pharmacist?
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Yes, this is the person who I ended up going to
prison for.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
So he's not letting you out of this, yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
I said this before the show, Terry, in the audience
.
I don't give this person a nameout of respect for his family.
However, you know, what'spublic record is public record.
So the man was a pharmacist,kept me clearly in a bad state
and I was trying to leave.
Oh, these lights go out in thisroom sometimes.
I was trying to leave, so I hadthis apartment which you know
in hindsight, was him knowingthat it was over you?
(07:05):
know they had lost their goodthing and I was, you know,
definitely afraid for my life.
There was a point where I saidI'm just going to put my clothes
on and run for it.
So I start putting on myclothes and as I looked down and
finished pulling out my jeans,I see a gun under the bed.
(07:27):
I picked it up and fired it.
I didn't even think.
As my hand was pulling it up, Ithought to myself dear God,
forgive me Wow, wow, wow and asa result, he passed away and I
went to jail.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Now you've said, though, that he has pulled guns
on you.
Um, oh yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Oh yeah, and abusive pain, fear, intimidation.
He had even intimidated myfamily.
You know, as time went on, theydidn't want anything to do with
me because it was just such adangerous situation, community,
(08:07):
yeah, and went to work every dayand I told you as well, I
really feel like I got so muchtime because I did not look.
His family did not look likemine, right, he did not look
like me and they had money andmine didn't.
Yeah, along with all of hisfriends.
They were all wealthyindividuals.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Yeah, yeah, and which is also a point just to throw
out there folks, keep your eyesopen.
Keep your eyes open.
This stuff is happening morethan you think.
It is right under our noses.
Keep your eyes open.
That's so important.
So you're going through and,before we move on, still what
was going through your mindduring all of this, prior to the
(08:44):
shooting?
Speaker 3 (08:44):
Oh my gosh.
That night I thought for surethat I was going to die.
I thought that I was going todie and I said lots of prayers.
My son was 10 years old whenthis happened and I thought I
would never see him again.
So through my mind, I just knowthis is it for me.
And there was just a momentwhere I'd come back from the
(09:06):
restroom.
The restroom was straight offthe bedroom.
There was no way out and I hadno clothes on, but I had picked
up my cell phone.
This is how good of a case.
I had Picked up my cell phoneand took it in the bathroom.
I didn't want to make a phonecall, but I sent a text message
to my friend and I said ifanything happens to me, so and
so did it.
Well, that's in my paperwork aswell.
(09:27):
So when the book comes out, beprepared for all sorts of
blockbusters, yeah.
However, it was just a badsituation that had went on for
so many years that I felt likeand they say it takes on average
seven times for a woman toleave that every time I left.
When I came back, things wereso much worse.
(09:49):
It made it harder to leaveagain.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Wow, wow, how.
How did he make it harder toleave again for those who've
never been in that situation?
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Because, when you, when you come back, they know
that you've tried to leave.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Right.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
So now they treat you even worse, like you've tried
to stop what's going on with you.
You tried to.
And human trafficking theydidn't even really have.
They had a name for it, butback when this was happening 25
years ago well, was it 25?
Yeah, I'm getting older whenthis was happening all those
years maybe more than that theyweren't calling it human
(10:23):
trafficking.
You know, and I think about ita lot of times.
I was a throwaway person, youknow, and that's how I ended up
where I did.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
I think that's a huge point to make, because I
believe that they saw you as athrowaway person and society
might've, even at that point,right, absolutely Okay.
So you, you, it comes to thatnight, you doing all right.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Yeah, um, you know, it's still so hard and it
doesn't matter how many years goby because it was just uh, so
many things led up to it, somuch pain, so much abuse.
And then in that moment younever get a chance to like I'm
still just beginning my owngrief process because I never
really get to grieve over myformer life, over any of that,
(11:14):
because you instantly go to jailand you have to stand up and
defend yourself in a differentway.
So I remember when I was, youknow, in jail and I would try
and keep a positive attitude andthe women would be like Sarita,
you're in jail for a serious,how are you keeping it together?
And I said, well, I had tofight for my life to be here, so
I can't give up now.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Wow, wow, wow.
That's amazing.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
I just want to touch on this prayer too.
So I would say this prayer allthe time, you know, because I
always knew about God.
I just wasn't doing the rightthing.
So when this man came to me, Isaid, dear God, get me away from
this man, get me off drugs,help me to be a good mom to my
son again.
Well, god did all three ofthose things.
He just didn't do them how Isuspected or how I expected.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amen to all of that.
And yet his will.
You know his will.
But that is amazing that evenwhile you're incarcerated,
you're keeping and aftereverything that happened, you're
keeping this attitude about you.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
I had to.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
How.
How did you do it?
How?
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Well, when I got there and I call it almost like
a missionary trip I met womenfrom places that I would have
never existed or never wouldhave thought.
Imagine I was in with a motherwho her excuse me, her daughter
was not doing well when she was.
You know what she would tell usabout it.
Next thing, you know, thedaughter was in prison with us.
(12:43):
There were so many cycles ofjust familial abuse generational
curses, I don't know what youwant to call it.
Then we're in missouri andthere is a section of missouri
that is extremely impoverishedand I would have never thought I
had a roommate who said serena,I had to wash up in the river
because our family could neverkeep the lights on.
We didn't have runningelectricity and water, so it was
(13:06):
just like wow, thought I had itbad.
Yeah, I thought I had it badwhen we moved from the suburbs
to the ghetto and I had to makenew friends that were bad, you
know, and I ended up in thislifestyle, when there are people
who, from kindergarten, didn'thave the clothes to wear, didn't
?
You know?
Parents can't read and write.
So I really feel like when Iwas there, not only did I get to
(13:31):
encourage women, but I got totake their stories out with me
so that way I can encourage morepeople out here to realize stop
that narrative.
Stop that narrative that peoplewho are in jail are terrible,
evil people, because it's notthe case and some of them never
had a chance to go any otherpath besides one that led right
to a correctional facility.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Now it's easy for those of us on the outside right
to go sure, they did.
It's all a decision.
You know they made the decision.
Talk about that.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Sure they did.
It's all a decision.
They made the decision.
Talk about that.
Okay, well, let me tell you,sometimes decisions are out of
your hands and sometimes youcould have made 15 better
decisions before you got to thedecision.
That was the life-changingdecision.
So if I would have stayed gonethe 15 times I'd left that man
before, I wouldn't have been inthat situation, but that night I
didn't have any choices.
(14:20):
I wouldn't have been in thatsituation, but that night I
didn't have any choices.
But I had choices leading up tothere and I used to tell like I
went all over the United Statesrunning from this man, but I
would always come back.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Why?
Why would you come back?
What do you think?
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Well, I would be in fear.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
I would be in fear a lot of times then.
Sometimes I was.
I had, uh, like a sick versionof stockholm syndrome and I
would feel like we were in love.
So I would be afraid I wouldfeel like we're in love or he
would lure me back with moneyand drugs because I I couldn't
make it other places longwithout the.
You know, I'd become accustomedto terrible life.
It wasn't like I becameaccustomed to beautiful things.
I became accustomed to drugsand alcohol and having the money
(15:02):
to support these habits.
And he knew or he would flywherever I wasn't coming to get
me.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Wow, wow, wow.
That's amazing.
That's amazing.
So it happened.
The gun came up, you pulled thetrigger, trigger.
What were your thoughts rightthen and there, at that moment?
Speaker 3 (15:22):
I thought I'm going to jail, that's what I thought
I'm going to jail, but I justreally feel like I had an exhale
moment too, which was I'm alivewow, yeah, I'm alive I might be
going to jail but I'm alive.
and I just knew when they sawthat he had a gun, the gun was
right there.
When they saw the condition Iwas in, I just knew for sure I
(15:44):
wasn't going to be in jail for along time.
I did, but I had no idea howthe criminal justice system
worked, you know, or thecriminal injustice system,
depending on how much money youhave.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Talk more about that.
Let's take the time to talkmore about that.
Sure, sure yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Well, let me tell you , I, from the beginning, had a
public defender who I thoughtdid very well by me.
And then I had another attorneywho took my case pro bono but
was through the publicdefender's office.
Now this is a private attorneythat doesn't make enough money
in his practice, so he cherrypicks out of the public
(16:20):
defender's office for cases buthe doesn't really have time for
the caseload either.
So he was really never investedin me doing anything other than
taking a plea deal, which isthe least amount of work, and
sending me right off to prison.
And you know, I would askquestions.
But who knows how to defend,who knows what to ask, who knows
(16:43):
how to defend themselves whensomething like this happens and
who thinks in their mind Ireally can't trust this guy.
That's my attorney.
I didn't think that, I thoughtthat he was a bit slow, but you
know, I've never been on trialbefore for my life, so I didn't
know how to approach that.
So it was just.
It was very eye-opening and I'mglad to be on this side and not
(17:08):
, you know, mired, because youknow, if it would have been 20,
30 years ago, I would havegotten a life sentence.
They would have, you know,evidence might have disappeared,
but who knows?
I got the sentence that I didand I'm so glad that I was able
to come back on this side andhave made something of a bad
choice to follow that bad choicewith Every day.
(17:31):
many, many good choices, many,many good choices.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
And let's start talking.
Thank you so much for sharingyour story.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
It's amazing, I appreciate you having me.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Well, and I know, of course, it's horrible going
through it, but you're going tobe able to use that story to
inspire and help so many people,which is fantastic.
Well, it's already started, butthis is not the least of which
being on this podcast.
So now, during prison, what didyou do?
You know you mentioned peopleare asking how are you keeping
this attitude?
What do you do while you're inprison to help move forward?
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Okay, well, let me tell you, there were seasons oh
my gosh, there were seasonswhere I was just so sad and
depressed I couldn't do anythingwith myself.
But luckily those subsided andI just really started trying to
better myself any way that Icould.
Since I had college creditsprior to prison, I couldn't
participate in almost any oftheir programs.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
So I became.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Yeah, so I became a GED tutor.
Well, they go in a, not like a,like a system, not a cast
system.
But if you've already gotcredits, they'd rather work on
the people who need a GED.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
And then they, you know.
So that's how it goes.
They only have so much money,they only have so much time,
exactly, and I had too much timein front of me.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
So I became a GED tutor and would teach women how
to get their high set or theirGED, so that way I could learn
right alongside of them.
So that was always a greatthing, and then I was able to,
closer to going home, get a jobtutoring for a customer service.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
I've got to break you in.
I'm sorry to do that.
Sure, something just hit me.
You had college credits.
Yeah, yeah, before all thishappened, you had college
credits.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Oh yeah, I was going to college.
I was really trying to changemy life credits.
Oh yeah, I was going to college.
I was really trying to changemy life.
Listen, from that 19 to 22period when I met him or where
things were on the ups, I, likeI said, helped me to be a good
mother again.
I was a good mother help get meoff drugs.
I wasn't on drugs like that getme away from this man so when
(19:33):
people you know when they wantto be able to control you, they
know what to do.
Wow, wow.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
I'm sorry that's.
That's a little mind blowing.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
And when I met this gentleman, he would even give me
rides to college because my carhad broke down and they let it
stay.
Broke down.
Those are, those are ploys likeoh, something's wrong with your
vehicle, as you know, and, as amatter of fact, they might have
made it break down.
Okay, because that's easier tokeep someone under your thumb.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
Wow, okay, glad we went back to that.
So now you're back there andyou're helping women get their
GED, et cetera.
Let's go from there and.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
I also spearheaded a program about parenting in
prison.
There was a program calledParents and their Children's
Patch and my son.
I was able to raise him fromthe program and then I was voted
president of the program twoyears after I had already
graduated, because it was soimportant for me to encourage
other moms like me to never giveup hope that you could still be
(20:31):
an active part me to never giveup hope that you could still be
an active part.
Once more, that cyclical, thatprayer coming true, I was able
to parent from prison.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Yeah, yeah, amazing, okay.
So that's while you're inprison.
That's what you're doing Now.
That's building you up as well.
It's building up yourconfidence, your self-esteem,
everything else, which is agreat point right there For
everybody that needs to pullthemselves out of whatever it is
.
Take action, help other people.
(21:01):
There's nothing that'll buildyourself up more than building
other people up.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Helping other people, yes, yes, oh sorry, I've
realized who I was because Ididn't go into that lifestyle
with, you know, thinking that'swhere I was going to end up.
Not at all, I thought I wasgoing to get some money you know
, be able to take care of my son.
I was going to college I wastrying to do all the things that
(21:29):
I thought, but I wasn't goingthe right way about doing it.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Wow, wow.
Well, in a way and I don't likemaking excuses for anybody, but
in a way, you're doing it, theonly way you could see how it
seems at that point.
Yeah, what you had been exposedto, amazing.
Okay, so you'd already decidedyou're turning your life around.
Well, you'd been trying to doso.
Now you're in there, you'remaking it happen and you just
(22:01):
got out.
Is there any more stories youwant to tell from being in there
before we move to get?
Speaker 3 (22:03):
out.
Oh my gosh, just that I leftsome individuals behind that
don't deserve to be there.
Please, if you have any type ofcontact, if it's six degrees of
separation with somebody who isincarcerated, please don't
forget about them.
Whether it's six degrees ofseparation with somebody who is
incarcerated, please don'tforget about them.
Whether it's your cousin, yourbrother, your sister, your
mother, we are still people too,and also people are finally
(22:26):
talking about it.
There are a lot of innocentindividuals.
Brenda Williams is one of them.
So is Danita Pilton here inMissouri.
So always, if you see a waythat you can call a legislator
and just say something like youknow, if you know, just be
active and know what's going onaround you.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Now, what do you mean by you left some, some people
there in prison.
Oh yeah, Don't deserve to be inprison Now, wait a minute.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
No, no no, my friend Brenda Williams is an innocent
woman.
Sandra Hemme, who was myroommate twice, did 40 years.
She was recently released as aninnocent woman.
There are several innocentpeople who are here in the state
of Missouri Danita Pendleton isone of them, and Sandy Hemme,
(23:06):
who got out, brenda Williams andanother woman just got out.
Her name is Patty Pruitt.
She did over 40 years Now.
Sandra Hemme, patty Pruitt,they've all been on all your
major shows Dr Phil, all of thatand they still remained in
prison until this last year anda half.
So just be active.
(23:26):
If you see something and it'stalking about criminal justice
reform, just look a little bitfarther into it.
Remember that there's people inthere that don't deserve to be
there.
And then the ones that havecommitted a crime.
Remember this the same person Iwas 17 years ago, are you?
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, well said, well said, okay.
So less than three years agoyou got out.
Less than three years ago.
Right and what's your journey?
First of all, let's start with.
You're about to walk out thedoor, right okay, yeah what's
that feeling when, oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
Well, let me tell you , I a lot of people were like,
oh my gosh, you won't be able tosleep.
I slept like a baby.
I'll actually watch the chosenan episode of the chosen on my
roommate's tablet because wecould see that.
And then I went to sleep.
I woke up that morning andeverybody was out, like the
whole housing unit was so,because I was the neighborhood.
I was Ned Flanders of thepenitentiary Oakley Doakley
(24:28):
neighbor.
I knew everybody's name, youknow, even though, like there's
like 800 people.
If I knew your name, I wasgoing to say hi, you know, and I
just was there and I remembertelling somebody that morning I
said, hey, listen, I'm taking mylight with me.
So you guys got to do something.
You're going to have to startstanding up for yourselves,
because I would always rally thetroops if something was going
(24:49):
wrong.
Uh, you know, and I would, uh,you know, help to write
paperwork, to help us, you know,have a voice.
So, but it was so amazing andmy son, when I, as I said, when
I left, he was 10, he came toget me at 24.
Oh, wow.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Wow, what was that like?
Speaker 3 (25:08):
That was so wonderful it was.
It was just like 14 and a halfyears wrapped up in one hug and
love.
And then we spent the whole daytogether and uh, actually I
think he's from.
He went to Boston.
He got a full ride.
Scholarship to Northeasterndoes social work, wonderful kid.
(25:28):
So he had flown back just tosee me get out and spent five
days with me.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Right on, right on.
That's cool.
So now, what are you up to inthe time that we have remaining
here?
What are you up to?
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Well, I found this app.
I didn't found the app, but Ifound the app, the Harvest
Solutions app.
They got a hold of me and whatthey do is they provide
tutorials that people can watcheither on their phones out here
or you can watch it on thetablet in the prison, and it
teaches people about how to geta house after you've been
(26:02):
justice impacted, and it alsohas housing listings.
It also has employmentopportunities and also ways to
address food insecurity, so it'sa way to give back that.
Another man who was justiceimpacted, douglas Fowler,
started the app and I sogratefully get to be a part of
it.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Well, and I love that , and for everybody listening on
listen, when these folks getout of prison, we want them to
be successful, but it's crazyhard because we don't want them
to go back in.
We don't want them to do badthings, to go back in.
But finding housing, findingfood, finding jobs, I assume
(26:43):
it's pretty hard.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
If you're homeless, how are you going to shower and
feel good about it?
How are you going to make it toa job every day?
Speaker 2 (26:49):
So what are you going to do if you don't?
You're going to recommit, right.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Yeah Well, that's a strong possibility.
Or you end up stuck in a cycleof homelessness, drug abuse and
you're still not a productivemember of society.
So if you give somebody a handup, then you're giving an
opportunity for workforcedevelopment, financial literacy,
You're boosting the economy.
Every time they say secondchance.
But give this person the firstchance, Treat them as though you
(27:16):
would anyone else.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Yeah, because these are humans.
These are human beings.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Absolutely, and I'm one of them.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Amen, amen, yeah, and circumstances, whatever they
may be, whatever they may be,have shaped them into what
happened, but not into what theycan become, and we can all be
part of that.
We can all be part of thesolution as well.
What else would you and I knowyou've done a TED Talk, which I
(27:42):
think is fantastic as well- yes,are you opening doors?
Speaker 3 (27:46):
Are you closing them?
Speaker 2 (27:49):
I love that and you're doing speaking as well.
Speaker 3 (27:53):
Yeah, yeah.
Getting out rocking a fewstages.
What are your?
Speaker 2 (27:57):
speaking topics.
If people wanted to hire you,what are some of your speaking
topics that you normally do?
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Okay, well, I talk about the power of the pivot
being able to pivot out ofprison, being able to pivot into
prison.
You know, that's a wholedifferent lifestyle.
It's a whole different set ofcircumstances.
So the power of the pivot is agood one.
And then I also talk about mystory and just resilience and
being able to bounce back andnot let that narrative be who I
(28:23):
am.
So if I speak about anything,it's resilience and it's
definitely just any way in whichI can impart knowledge of
changing that narrative.
Change that narrative, Get thatout of here.
Well, I think that out of here,the power of the pivot.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
You know you related it, of course, to prison, but
that power of the pivot that'srelatable for all of us at
almost any given time.
The power of the pivotFantastic.
What else would you like toshare with everybody, Sarita,
before we have to tune off?
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Oh my gosh, terry, thank you so much for giving me
this opportunity.
If you see somebody that isdown and out, don't judge them,
even if it's something you seeon television.
You know what I'm saying.
Just think about taking a mile,they say walking in someone
else's shoes.
Think about it this way If thatwas your daughter, or if that
(29:17):
was your, or if that was yourson, or if that was your mother,
or if that was your father andcircumstances had led them into
a position such as the one thatI was in, or someone else like
me, how would you feel?
And then take that feeling andgive that impetus for you to do
better?
Speaker 2 (29:30):
That's amazing.
I appreciate that, and foreverybody else that is going
through their own challenges,maybe significant challenges,
like Sarita said, you're makingsteps, you're making decisions.
You're making choices everystep of the way, so be careful.
Every single decision you'remaking think where it is leading
(29:51):
you toward, and that'sabsolutely critical.
So keep that in mind.
Keep in mind the power of thepivot, because you have the
power to pivot.
If there's ever been an examplein the world, it's Sarita, and
you have that power too.
So keep all of those things inmind and you can have your own
Comeback Chronicle.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
So that's it for today's episode of the Comeback
Chronicles.
Head on over to Apple Podcastsor wherever you listen, and
subscribe to the show.
If you're ready to get overyour fears, self-doubts and past
failures and break through yourcomfort zone to reach the
pinnacle of success in everyarea of your life, head over to
terrielfawesomecom to pick upyour free gifts and so much more
(30:37):
.
We'll see you next week on theComeback Chronicles podcast.
If you've been stuck in fear, self-doubt, your past
failures and you're ready tobreak through your comfort zones
to finally reach the pinnacleof success in every area of your
life, then this podcast is foryou.
Here's your host Terry L Fossum.
Terry L Fossum.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hey, terry L Fossum here and welcome back once again
to the Comeback Chroniclespodcast.
Got an amazing story for youtoday.
This one is going to completelyblow you away Not only what she
went through, but what she'sdoing with it.
My guest today is Sarita Tosin.
Get this.
In 2008, sarita found herselfin prison for a second-degree
(00:51):
murder after a series of baddecisions that included drug
addiction and staying in anabusive relationship.
Well, that abuse led her toshooting her abuser and more
than 14 years in jail.
But that's not the end of herstory.
Released in September of 2022,her subsequent story is a story
(01:12):
of transformation that she wantsto share and is sharing with
others who are facing adversity.
Get this.
After being out for less thanthree years, she's in her final
semester in college.
She's built the HarvestSolution app that helps people
navigate housing, food,insecurity and employment.
After being justice involved,she's a TEDx speaker and she's
(01:36):
sharing her message, her adviceand her guidance from the stage.
Sarita, thank you so much forjoining us today.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Terry, thank you so much for having me.
I am just beyond excited to beon a show called the Comeback
Chronicles and to be on yourshow because you've just been so
very welcoming and I'm grateful.
Thanks, Terry.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Well, you're making such a difference in the world,
terry.
Well, you're making such adifference in the world.
I'm truly passionate about andwe were talking about this about
what you're doing, because alltoo often people are
incarcerated for whatever reasonand then they're
re-incarcerated.
And they're re-incarcerated why?
Because they haven't changedthe mindset, they haven't gotten
the guidance of what to do, howto change where they came from.
(02:21):
So to have a story like yoursand I know you're comfortable
with us digging pretty deep intothe story and seeing where
you're going now, it's going tomake a difference in the world.
So I'm truly excited to haveyou here.
Let's talk.
Give the backstory, if youwould be so kind.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Sure, sure.
So I'm going to go way, wayback when I was pretty young
around 11, 12 years old myfamily we had always kind of
grew up in a suburbanneighborhood.
I don't remember us everfinancially needing anything and
then my parents went through adivorce and my mother, who, now
(03:02):
that I'm old enough and moremature, was, at like, absolutely
thrown into poverty and wedidn't have any money, and it
was just so different.
The neighborhood that we movedinto and I will just go ahead
and say that, like poverty, isan adverse childhood effect and
it kind of led me around peoplethat I had never been around,
(03:24):
and drugs and alcohol things Iwould have never thought about
experimenting with had become,you know, cool.
That was something, you know,something fun.
So then let's fast forward abit.
At 18, I had my child.
I'm struggling.
I am at a, you know, acrossroads.
(03:45):
I'm really trying to be a goodparent, but I cannot find a way
to sustain, to get out ofpoverty.
So I found adult entertainmentand I started working in what we
would call a strip club and Irealized that, you know, there
were people at the strip, therewere other girls, and I just
thought to myself, you know, Ireally wish one of these people
you know that own this clubwould just fall in love with me.
(04:07):
Well, you better be carefulwhat you wish for.
Yeah, because the next thing Iknow now, I started this when I
was 19.
And so I was basicallyescorting for a ring of
gentlemen that most of them weremarried and I didn't see any
problem with it.
That was a problem right there.
Yeah, that was a problem rightthere.
And you know I was thinking well, you know, I'm making good
(04:30):
money, I'm able to take care ofmy son.
Things are not.
Things aren't that bad.
Well then, around the time Iwas 22, 23 years old.
Well, actually I was 22.
I met the person that ended upshowing me that this lifestyle I
thought was fun, that I thoughtwas cool, was actually terrible
, and I had bitten off way morethan I could chew.
Because when we're in ourteenager years I don't know if
(04:52):
you were anything like me weknow everything.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
We know it all.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
So I had found this industry and I was cool and I
was involved in it until I metthis person who, I will say, was
a legal pharmacist and wasusing these drugs to keep me in
a state in which any andeverything was happening to me.
I was in bad shape.
I was in bad shape.
So now I'm 22 in this lastuntil I'm 28.
(05:20):
So many things have happened toyou know, I'm just a beat down
individual and I'm just waitinguntil my number is up.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Well, this evening, I got to pause.
I got to pause you therebecause there's so much in that
right there.
First of all, you've got apharmacist, a legal pharmacist,
so he's a community known person, right yes?
And he is giving you drugs tokeep you drugged, so you'll
(05:48):
continue to do whatever.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Do these things.
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Wow, and now?
So, now that you've reachedthat point, you have no control
over yourself at that pointanymore.
The drugs are controlling you.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Absolutely, and I'm just missing blocks of time.
So I finally, at this point,had made enough, you know,
squirreled enough back.
I'd got what they would call astraight job, working at a hotel
as a concierge.
And you know, I was stillbattling those demons.
But I was still, you know, ableto realize I needed to get out
(06:22):
as fast as I possibly could.
So I'd gotten an apartment.
I didn't even make it to paythe rent.
One time I got this apartment,the man picked me up, hold a gun
on me instantly.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Now, who did the pharmacist?
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Yes, this is the person who I ended up going to
prison for.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
So he's not letting you out of this, yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
I said this before the show, Terry, in the audience
.
I don't give this person a nameout of respect for his family.
However, you know, what'spublic record is public record.
So the man was a pharmacist,kept me clearly in a bad state
and I was trying to leave.
Oh, these lights go out in thisroom sometimes.
I was trying to leave, so I hadthis apartment which you know
in hindsight, was him knowingthat it was over you?
(07:05):
know they had lost their goodthing and I was, you know,
definitely afraid for my life.
There was a point where I saidI'm just going to put my clothes
on and run for it.
So I start putting on myclothes and as I looked down and
finished pulling out my jeans,I see a gun under the bed.
(07:27):
I picked it up and fired it.
I didn't even think.
As my hand was pulling it up, Ithought to myself dear God,
forgive me Wow, wow, wow and asa result, he passed away and I
went to jail.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Now you've said, though, that he has pulled guns
on you.
Um, oh yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Oh yeah, and abusive pain, fear, intimidation.
He had even intimidated myfamily.
You know, as time went on, theydidn't want anything to do with
me because it was just such adangerous situation, community,
(08:07):
yeah, and went to work every dayand I told you as well, I
really feel like I got so muchtime because I did not look.
His family did not look likemine, right, he did not look
like me and they had money andmine didn't.
Yeah, along with all of hisfriends.
They were all wealthyindividuals.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Yeah, yeah, and which is also a point just to throw
out there folks, keep your eyesopen.
Keep your eyes open.
This stuff is happening morethan you think.
It is right under our noses.
Keep your eyes open.
That's so important.
So you're going through and,before we move on, still what
was going through your mindduring all of this, prior to the
(08:44):
shooting?
Speaker 3 (08:44):
Oh my gosh.
That night I thought for surethat I was going to die.
I thought that I was going todie and I said lots of prayers.
My son was 10 years old whenthis happened and I thought I
would never see him again.
So through my mind, I just knowthis is it for me.
And there was just a momentwhere I'd come back from the
(09:06):
restroom.
The restroom was straight offthe bedroom.
There was no way out and I hadno clothes on, but I had picked
up my cell phone.
This is how good of a case.
I had Picked up my cell phoneand took it in the bathroom.
I didn't want to make a phonecall, but I sent a text message
to my friend and I said ifanything happens to me, so and
so did it.
Well, that's in my paperwork aswell.
(09:27):
So when the book comes out, beprepared for all sorts of
blockbusters, yeah.
However, it was just a badsituation that had went on for
so many years that I felt likeand they say it takes on average
seven times for a woman toleave that every time I left.
When I came back, things wereso much worse.
(09:49):
It made it harder to leaveagain.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Wow, wow, how.
How did he make it harder toleave again for those who've
never been in that situation?
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Because, when you, when you come back, they know
that you've tried to leave.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Right.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
So now they treat you even worse, like you've tried
to stop what's going on with you.
You tried to.
And human trafficking theydidn't even really have.
They had a name for it, butback when this was happening 25
years ago well, was it 25?
Yeah, I'm getting older whenthis was happening all those
years maybe more than that theyweren't calling it human
(10:23):
trafficking.
You know, and I think about ita lot of times.
I was a throwaway person, youknow, and that's how I ended up
where I did.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
I think that's a huge point to make, because I
believe that they saw you as athrowaway person and society
might've, even at that point,right, absolutely Okay.
So you, you, it comes to thatnight, you doing all right.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Yeah, um, you know, it's still so hard and it
doesn't matter how many years goby because it was just uh, so
many things led up to it, somuch pain, so much abuse.
And then in that moment younever get a chance to like I'm
still just beginning my owngrief process because I never
really get to grieve over myformer life, over any of that,
(11:14):
because you instantly go to jailand you have to stand up and
defend yourself in a differentway.
So I remember when I was, youknow, in jail and I would try
and keep a positive attitude andthe women would be like Sarita,
you're in jail for a serious,how are you keeping it together?
And I said, well, I had tofight for my life to be here, so
I can't give up now.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Wow, wow, wow.
That's amazing.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
I just want to touch on this prayer too.
So I would say this prayer allthe time, you know, because I
always knew about God.
I just wasn't doing the rightthing.
So when this man came to me, Isaid, dear God, get me away from
this man, get me off drugs,help me to be a good mom to my
son again.
Well, god did all three ofthose things.
He just didn't do them how Isuspected or how I expected.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amen to all of that.
And yet his will.
You know his will.
But that is amazing that evenwhile you're incarcerated,
you're keeping and aftereverything that happened, you're
keeping this attitude about you.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
I had to.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
How.
How did you do it?
How?
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Well, when I got there and I call it almost like
a missionary trip I met womenfrom places that I would have
never existed or never wouldhave thought.
Imagine I was in with a motherwho her excuse me, her daughter
was not doing well when she was.
You know what she would tell usabout it.
Next thing, you know, thedaughter was in prison with us.
(12:43):
There were so many cycles ofjust familial abuse generational
curses, I don't know what youwant to call it.
Then we're in missouri andthere is a section of missouri
that is extremely impoverishedand I would have never thought I
had a roommate who said serena,I had to wash up in the river
because our family could neverkeep the lights on.
We didn't have runningelectricity and water, so it was
(13:06):
just like wow, thought I had itbad.
Yeah, I thought I had it badwhen we moved from the suburbs
to the ghetto and I had to makenew friends that were bad, you
know, and I ended up in thislifestyle, when there are people
who, from kindergarten, didn'thave the clothes to wear, didn't
?
You know?
Parents can't read and write.
So I really feel like when Iwas there, not only did I get to
(13:31):
encourage women, but I got totake their stories out with me
so that way I can encourage morepeople out here to realize stop
that narrative.
Stop that narrative that peoplewho are in jail are terrible,
evil people, because it's notthe case and some of them never
had a chance to go any otherpath besides one that led right
to a correctional facility.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Now it's easy for those of us on the outside right
to go sure, they did.
It's all a decision.
You know they made the decision.
Talk about that.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Sure they did.
It's all a decision.
They made the decision.
Talk about that.
Okay, well, let me tell you,sometimes decisions are out of
your hands and sometimes youcould have made 15 better
decisions before you got to thedecision.
That was the life-changingdecision.
So if I would have stayed gonethe 15 times I'd left that man
before, I wouldn't have been inthat situation, but that night I
didn't have any choices.
(14:20):
I wouldn't have been in thatsituation, but that night I
didn't have any choices.
But I had choices leading up tothere and I used to tell like I
went all over the United Statesrunning from this man, but I
would always come back.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Why?
Why would you come back?
What do you think?
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Well, I would be in fear.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
I would be in fear a lot of times then.
Sometimes I was.
I had, uh, like a sick versionof stockholm syndrome and I
would feel like we were in love.
So I would be afraid I wouldfeel like we're in love or he
would lure me back with moneyand drugs because I I couldn't
make it other places longwithout the.
You know, I'd become accustomedto terrible life.
It wasn't like I becameaccustomed to beautiful things.
I became accustomed to drugsand alcohol and having the money
(15:02):
to support these habits.
And he knew or he would flywherever I wasn't coming to get
me.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Wow, wow, wow.
That's amazing.
That's amazing.
So it happened.
The gun came up, you pulled thetrigger, trigger.
What were your thoughts rightthen and there, at that moment?
Speaker 3 (15:22):
I thought I'm going to jail, that's what I thought
I'm going to jail, but I justreally feel like I had an exhale
moment too, which was I'm alivewow, yeah, I'm alive I might be
going to jail but I'm alive.
and I just knew when they sawthat he had a gun, the gun was
right there.
When they saw the condition Iwas in, I just knew for sure I
(15:44):
wasn't going to be in jail for along time.
I did, but I had no idea howthe criminal justice system
worked, you know, or thecriminal injustice system,
depending on how much money youhave.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Talk more about that.
Let's take the time to talkmore about that.
Sure, sure yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Well, let me tell you , I, from the beginning, had a
public defender who I thoughtdid very well by me.
And then I had another attorneywho took my case pro bono but
was through the publicdefender's office.
Now this is a private attorneythat doesn't make enough money
in his practice, so he cherrypicks out of the public
(16:20):
defender's office for cases buthe doesn't really have time for
the caseload either.
So he was really never investedin me doing anything other than
taking a plea deal, which isthe least amount of work, and
sending me right off to prison.
And you know, I would askquestions.
But who knows how to defend,who knows what to ask, who knows
(16:43):
how to defend themselves whensomething like this happens and
who thinks in their mind Ireally can't trust this guy.
That's my attorney.
I didn't think that, I thoughtthat he was a bit slow, but you
know, I've never been on trialbefore for my life, so I didn't
know how to approach that.
So it was just.
It was very eye-opening and I'mglad to be on this side and not
(17:08):
, you know, mired, because youknow, if it would have been 20,
30 years ago, I would havegotten a life sentence.
They would have, you know,evidence might have disappeared,
but who knows?
I got the sentence that I didand I'm so glad that I was able
to come back on this side andhave made something of a bad
choice to follow that bad choicewith Every day.
(17:31):
many, many good choices, many,many good choices.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
And let's start talking.
Thank you so much for sharingyour story.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
It's amazing, I appreciate you having me.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Well, and I know, of course, it's horrible going
through it, but you're going tobe able to use that story to
inspire and help so many people,which is fantastic.
Well, it's already started, butthis is not the least of which
being on this podcast.
So now, during prison, what didyou do?
You know you mentioned peopleare asking how are you keeping
this attitude?
What do you do while you're inprison to help move forward?
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Okay, well, let me tell you, there were seasons oh
my gosh, there were seasonswhere I was just so sad and
depressed I couldn't do anythingwith myself.
But luckily those subsided andI just really started trying to
better myself any way that Icould.
Since I had college creditsprior to prison, I couldn't
participate in almost any oftheir programs.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
So I became.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Yeah, so I became a GED tutor.
Well, they go in a, not like a,like a system, not a cast
system.
But if you've already gotcredits, they'd rather work on
the people who need a GED.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
And then they, you know.
So that's how it goes.
They only have so much money,they only have so much time,
exactly, and I had too much timein front of me.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
So I became a GED tutor and would teach women how
to get their high set or theirGED, so that way I could learn
right alongside of them.
So that was always a greatthing, and then I was able to,
closer to going home, get a jobtutoring for a customer service.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
I've got to break you in.
I'm sorry to do that.
Sure, something just hit me.
You had college credits.
Yeah, yeah, before all thishappened, you had college
credits.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Oh yeah, I was going to college.
I was really trying to changemy life credits.
Oh yeah, I was going to college.
I was really trying to changemy life.
Listen, from that 19 to 22period when I met him or where
things were on the ups, I, likeI said, helped me to be a good
mother again.
I was a good mother help get meoff drugs.
I wasn't on drugs like that getme away from this man so when
(19:33):
people you know when they wantto be able to control you, they
know what to do.
Wow, wow.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
I'm sorry that's.
That's a little mind blowing.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
And when I met this gentleman, he would even give me
rides to college because my carhad broke down and they let it
stay.
Broke down.
Those are, those are ploys likeoh, something's wrong with your
vehicle, as you know, and, as amatter of fact, they might have
made it break down.
Okay, because that's easier tokeep someone under your thumb.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
Wow, okay, glad we went back to that.
So now you're back there andyou're helping women get their
GED, et cetera.
Let's go from there and.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
I also spearheaded a program about parenting in
prison.
There was a program calledParents and their Children's
Patch and my son.
I was able to raise him fromthe program and then I was voted
president of the program twoyears after I had already
graduated, because it was soimportant for me to encourage
other moms like me to never giveup hope that you could still be
(20:31):
an active part me to never giveup hope that you could still be
an active part.
Once more, that cyclical, thatprayer coming true, I was able
to parent from prison.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Yeah, yeah, amazing, okay.
So that's while you're inprison.
That's what you're doing Now.
That's building you up as well.
It's building up yourconfidence, your self-esteem,
everything else, which is agreat point right there For
everybody that needs to pullthemselves out of whatever it is
.
Take action, help other people.
(21:01):
There's nothing that'll buildyourself up more than building
other people up.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Helping other people, yes, yes, oh sorry, I've
realized who I was because Ididn't go into that lifestyle
with, you know, thinking that'swhere I was going to end up.
Not at all, I thought I wasgoing to get some money you know
, be able to take care of my son.
I was going to college I wastrying to do all the things that
(21:29):
I thought, but I wasn't goingthe right way about doing it.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Wow, wow.
Well, in a way and I don't likemaking excuses for anybody, but
in a way, you're doing it, theonly way you could see how it
seems at that point.
Yeah, what you had been exposedto, amazing.
Okay, so you'd already decidedyou're turning your life around.
Well, you'd been trying to doso.
Now you're in there, you'remaking it happen and you just
(22:01):
got out.
Is there any more stories youwant to tell from being in there
before we move to get?
Speaker 3 (22:03):
out.
Oh my gosh, just that I leftsome individuals behind that
don't deserve to be there.
Please, if you have any type ofcontact, if it's six degrees of
separation with somebody who isincarcerated, please don't
forget about them.
Whether it's six degrees ofseparation with somebody who is
incarcerated, please don'tforget about them.
Whether it's your cousin, yourbrother, your sister, your
mother, we are still people too,and also people are finally
(22:26):
talking about it.
There are a lot of innocentindividuals.
Brenda Williams is one of them.
So is Danita Pilton here inMissouri.
So always, if you see a waythat you can call a legislator
and just say something like youknow, if you know, just be
active and know what's going onaround you.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Now, what do you mean by you left some, some people
there in prison.
Oh yeah, Don't deserve to be inprison Now, wait a minute.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
No, no no, my friend Brenda Williams is an innocent
woman.
Sandra Hemme, who was myroommate twice, did 40 years.
She was recently released as aninnocent woman.
There are several innocentpeople who are here in the state
of Missouri Danita Pendleton isone of them, and Sandy Hemme,
(23:06):
who got out, brenda Williams andanother woman just got out.
Her name is Patty Pruitt.
She did over 40 years Now.
Sandra Hemme, patty Pruitt,they've all been on all your
major shows Dr Phil, all of thatand they still remained in
prison until this last year anda half.
So just be active.
(23:26):
If you see something and it'stalking about criminal justice
reform, just look a little bitfarther into it.
Remember that there's people inthere that don't deserve to be
there.
And then the ones that havecommitted a crime.
Remember this the same person Iwas 17 years ago, are you?
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, well said, well said, okay.
So less than three years agoyou got out.
Less than three years ago.
Right and what's your journey?
First of all, let's start with.
You're about to walk out thedoor, right okay, yeah what's
that feeling when, oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
Well, let me tell you , I a lot of people were like,
oh my gosh, you won't be able tosleep.
I slept like a baby.
I'll actually watch the chosenan episode of the chosen on my
roommate's tablet because wecould see that.
And then I went to sleep.
I woke up that morning andeverybody was out, like the
whole housing unit was so,because I was the neighborhood.
I was Ned Flanders of thepenitentiary Oakley Doakley
(24:28):
neighbor.
I knew everybody's name, youknow, even though, like there's
like 800 people.
If I knew your name, I wasgoing to say hi, you know, and I
just was there and I remembertelling somebody that morning I
said, hey, listen, I'm taking mylight with me.
So you guys got to do something.
You're going to have to startstanding up for yourselves,
because I would always rally thetroops if something was going
(24:49):
wrong.
Uh, you know, and I would, uh,you know, help to write
paperwork, to help us, you know,have a voice.
So, but it was so amazing andmy son, when I, as I said, when
I left, he was 10, he came toget me at 24.
Oh, wow.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Wow, what was that like?
Speaker 3 (25:08):
That was so wonderful it was.
It was just like 14 and a halfyears wrapped up in one hug and
love.
And then we spent the whole daytogether and uh, actually I
think he's from.
He went to Boston.
He got a full ride.
Scholarship to Northeasterndoes social work, wonderful kid.
(25:28):
So he had flown back just tosee me get out and spent five
days with me.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Right on, right on.
That's cool.
So now, what are you up to inthe time that we have remaining
here?
What are you up to?
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Well, I found this app.
I didn't found the app, but Ifound the app, the Harvest
Solutions app.
They got a hold of me and whatthey do is they provide
tutorials that people can watcheither on their phones out here
or you can watch it on thetablet in the prison, and it
teaches people about how to geta house after you've been
(26:02):
justice impacted, and it alsohas housing listings.
It also has employmentopportunities and also ways to
address food insecurity, so it'sa way to give back that.
Another man who was justiceimpacted, douglas Fowler,
started the app and I sogratefully get to be a part of
it.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Well, and I love that , and for everybody listening on
listen, when these folks getout of prison, we want them to
be successful, but it's crazyhard because we don't want them
to go back in.
We don't want them to do badthings, to go back in.
But finding housing, findingfood, finding jobs, I assume
(26:43):
it's pretty hard.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
If you're homeless, how are you going to shower and
feel good about it?
How are you going to make it toa job every day?
Speaker 2 (26:49):
So what are you going to do if you don't?
You're going to recommit, right.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Yeah Well, that's a strong possibility.
Or you end up stuck in a cycleof homelessness, drug abuse and
you're still not a productivemember of society.
So if you give somebody a handup, then you're giving an
opportunity for workforcedevelopment, financial literacy,
You're boosting the economy.
Every time they say secondchance.
But give this person the firstchance, Treat them as though you
(27:16):
would anyone else.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Yeah, because these are humans.
These are human beings.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Absolutely, and I'm one of them.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Amen, amen, yeah, and circumstances, whatever they
may be, whatever they may be,have shaped them into what
happened, but not into what theycan become, and we can all be
part of that.
We can all be part of thesolution as well.
What else would you and I knowyou've done a TED Talk, which I
(27:42):
think is fantastic as well- yes,are you opening doors?
Speaker 3 (27:46):
Are you closing them?
Speaker 2 (27:49):
I love that and you're doing speaking as well.
Speaker 3 (27:53):
Yeah, yeah.
Getting out rocking a fewstages.
What are your?
Speaker 2 (27:57):
speaking topics.
If people wanted to hire you,what are some of your speaking
topics that you normally do?
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Okay, well, I talk about the power of the pivot
being able to pivot out ofprison, being able to pivot into
prison.
You know, that's a wholedifferent lifestyle.
It's a whole different set ofcircumstances.
So the power of the pivot is agood one.
And then I also talk about mystory and just resilience and
being able to bounce back andnot let that narrative be who I
(28:23):
am.
So if I speak about anything,it's resilience and it's
definitely just any way in whichI can impart knowledge of
changing that narrative.
Change that narrative, Get thatout of here.
Well, I think that out of here,the power of the pivot.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
You know you related it, of course, to prison, but
that power of the pivot that'srelatable for all of us at
almost any given time.
The power of the pivotFantastic.
What else would you like toshare with everybody, Sarita,
before we have to tune off?
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Oh my gosh, terry, thank you so much for giving me
this opportunity.
If you see somebody that isdown and out, don't judge them,
even if it's something you seeon television.
You know what I'm saying.
Just think about taking a mile,they say walking in someone
else's shoes.
Think about it this way If thatwas your daughter, or if that
(29:17):
was your, or if that was yourson, or if that was your mother,
or if that was your father andcircumstances had led them into
a position such as the one thatI was in, or someone else like
me, how would you feel?
And then take that feeling andgive that impetus for you to do
better?
Speaker 2 (29:30):
That's amazing.
I appreciate that, and foreverybody else that is going
through their own challenges,maybe significant challenges,
like Sarita said, you're makingsteps, you're making decisions.
You're making choices everystep of the way, so be careful.
Every single decision you'remaking think where it is leading
(29:51):
you toward, and that'sabsolutely critical.
So keep that in mind.
Keep in mind the power of thepivot, because you have the
power to pivot.
If there's ever been an examplein the world, it's Sarita, and
you have that power too.
So keep all of those things inmind and you can have your own
Comeback Chronicle.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
So that's it for today's episode of the Comeback
Chronicles.
Head on over to Apple Podcastsor wherever you listen, and
subscribe to the show.
If you're ready to get overyour fears, self-doubts and past
failures and break through yourcomfort zone to reach the
pinnacle of success in everyarea of your life, head over to
terrielfawesomecom to pick upyour free gifts and so much more
(30:37):
.
We'll see you next week on theComeback Chronicles podcast.
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