Episode Transcript
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Unknown (00:02):
Welcome to the Courtney
Gray podcast the show for women
who are ready to lose weightpermanently, and love their body
love the way they feel. Andlook, I'm going to teach you how
to stop overeating and obsessingabout food and your weight. So
you can be more confident andempowered to then create an even
bigger life. I'm life and bodycoach Courtney Gray. And each
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week, I'm going to be teachingyou how losing and maintaining
your ideal weight can be so mucheasier than it's been in the
past, in my taking care of youand achieving your health goals.
You will live in even moreamazing life than the one you
have lived so far. Let's getstarted. Welcome to the podcast
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episode 88. What to do when youfeel like things aren't working.
So many of you reached out andtold me that you loved last
week's podcast and I'm so gladif you haven't had a chance to
go listen to it. I would go backand take a listen. It is all
about slowing things down andprocessing desire. And I got
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very personal and I got verydetailed and focused about what
goes on in my head when I wantpizza. Specifically,
specifically, I had a nightwhere I really wanted pizza and
I broke down how to processdesire. Now if you're the type
of person that's trying to loseweight and wants to feel in
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control around food wants tofeel peace. You're going to hear
that go Yes, please. That soundslike magic. So go listen to
episode 87. I'm so glad I had somany people reach out to me and
say that that podcast was reallyjust amazing to hear my thought
process on all of it and kind ofwhat I did to navigate that
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situation. So I'm really gladthat I gave you that podcast I
was even thinking is thissomething they want to hear? I
don't know. But I just I'm gladI went with my intuition and and
dove in and gave that to you.
This one is going to be similar.
I'm going to talk about what todo when you feel like things
aren't working. And this isgoing to be great for every area
of your life. But I'm so gladyou like last week's podcast, I
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am very sleepy today I'm goingto deliver a beautiful fun
podcast even though I'm verysleepy, I just launched a fall
collection of jewelry for myjewelry business and it went
swimmingly. But I've beenworking straight for about seven
days. So I am a little bitsleepy I did of course take
breaks and made dinner and tookyou know, my son got his wisdom
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teeth out. But I have been go gogo for about seven days. So I'm
a little bit sleepy. So if youfeel like my energy is a little
lower, you're right it is damnit. But I'm still here. And I'm
still bringing the good stufffor you. I have been realizing
more and more by the feedbackyou give me. So I love when you
guys reach out and let me knowwhat you're liking about the
podcast, what you're hoping Italk about, I've really been
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loving the feedback. And I'mreally realizing more and more
that a lot of the tools that Ihave learned through my life
coach certification and a lot ofthe tools I have just created in
my own journey of getting into abody that I am absolutely in
love with and that I feel incontrol around food, and a life
where I am thinking bigger formyself. And my self concept is
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up leveling by doing all ofthis. I'm realizing that the
tools and the skills and the wayI think about things, it's
pretty rad, pretty unique. And Ineed to continue to share. So I
was out to breakfast with myhusband. Yesterday morning. We
love it. We love a Sundaymorning breakfast date. And I
was talking about this concept.
He was asking about what I wasgoing to do on the podcast this
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week. And I said I'm going totalk about what what I do when I
feel like things aren't working.
And again, this is this willhelp you in any area of your
life, whether it's if you feellike things aren't working with
your kids, if you feel likethings aren't working at work or
with your body or with youreating or with your life or with
your business with anything. AndI want to offer that I have just
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like this is one of those. Thisis almost like a tip. I don't
give a lot of tips because Ifeel like thought work. Take
some time and some focus. Butthis is like a tip that really
kind of gets me out of right nowwhen I am thinking and I'm in
that space where things are notworking. This is something that
I've been doing more recently,and I call it the 20 list. If I
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feel like things are notworking, and if you think about
it, if you're thinking thisisn't working, I don't know what
to do whatever you're feelingprobably either frustration or
confusion. Frustration isn'tfun, but confusion really keeps
you stuck. Both are not feelingsI love to sit in. So this 20
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list will help you kind of breakout of it. And it really is very
simple. Like so many of thesetools really very simple. If
you're feeling this way, you cansit down and write on a piece of
paper. Yes, you're going to haveto journal it out the 20 list
and you're going to write howAre things going really well in
this area? Or how are thingsgoing really well today? Now,
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sometimes you'll sit there, andit might take you some time to
start writing and coming up withthings. But I promise you, if
you actually try to find outwhat is going really well, you
will feel better in your body.
Now, you can do this a fewdifferent ways. Because this is
more than just being grateful.
We can always be grateful, likeI think of like when I was
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young, and we would pray beforeevery meal. And you know, after
a while it gets wrote to you totheir thank you for the food,
thank you for our health, like,that's not what we're doing
here. But what you can do if youfeel like you're struggling, and
you're trying to lose weight,and you've only lost like two
pounds, and it's been two weeksand you're frustrated, right?
You can sit there and say, Howare things going really well.
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And you can focus on Have youbeen more aware of what you're
eating? Have you been more awareof your desire to really take
this seriously. So these are thethings you can write down, you
can write down, I'm reallystarting to realize why I'm
eating, I'm really starting tobe aware that I have a lot of
stress. And that's what'sdriving me to eat. I've been
listening to Courtney's podcast,and I'm really enjoying it all
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these things are separatethings, part of the 20 that are
things that are going well foryou. Because if you start with
awareness in any area, whetheryou're struggling with your kids
struggling with a relationship,struggling with your body,
struggling with life, if youstart with awareness, you're
gonna go uphill from there. Sostart really flooding your your
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paper with all the differentreasons why things are really
going well. And again, it's morethan just being grateful, it
really is choosing your focus.
It is amazing to me how manytimes I've been on a coaching
call, I was on one today thismorning with a woman. And I was
coaching her on her business.
And she literally said to me,things are not working. And we
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talked for about 15 minutesabout all the reasons why she
feels like things are notworking. And I said to her I go,
why don't we talk about whythings are working, which seems
a little ironic, if she'stelling me things aren't
working. Why would I actuallysay, let's talk about how things
are working? You would assumeshe'd look at me and say things
aren't things are not working?
Aren't you listening to me,right? You think that she would
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be frustrated? But she wasn't. Ilet her vent about why things
are not working. I wanted tovalidate her and I wanted to
create awareness for her. Butthen I said to her, Hey, why are
things working? And I'll tellyou what was amazing. She
started giving me a list aboutall the things that actually are
working. And it was ironic tohear her say she came to me
saying things aren't working.
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And then when I suggested howmight things be working, she
said I had a consult, I have aconcert scheduled for Friday, I
signed a new client last week, Ijust got clarity on this, this,
this this. And I just looked ather and I kind of smiled and she
smiled and she saw it and shesaid it is amazing how you
literally can convince yourselfthat something is or isn't
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working depending on where youare focusing. I'm taking a
moment to tell you that I workprivately one on one with women
to help them lose weightpermanently, and create a body
they love. This is not a dietprogram. This is a customized
program to teach you how to eatthe way you want to eat forever.
No more restriction, no morewillpower, no more losing weight
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only to sabotage and then gainit back again. The problem is
not you, we women are so hard onourselves. And we think if we
could just get motivated or moredetermined if we could find the
right diet plan or cut outcertain foods, we will lose
weight and be happy. But theanswer is changing your brain
and how you think and feel.
Changing your self image and howyou talk to yourself. Learning
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how to trust yourself. This ishow you lose weight permanently.
It sounds too good to be true.
But I promise you it's not. Thework I do with my clients is
powerful, exciting and loving.
And it's hard work to but theresult is change forever. The
women I work with are smart andsuccessful in so many areas of
their life, they just haven'tbeen able to figure out their
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body. This is where I come in,head to my website to schedule a
consultation and we can talkabout all the details back to
the podcast. Think aboutthat for yourself. Think about
something that you're feelinglike isn't working. And kind of
I like the thought of like pokeholes in that thought if you're
thinking it's not working myworkouts I keep saying I'm gonna
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get to the gym. And I'm not It'snot working. Is it? What is
there anything in that in thatthat is working? Have you
started like making time? Didyou sign up for a gym? Have you
started actually setting youralarm earlier? Have you started
actually realizing what thoughtis actually making you hit
snooze in the morning? Have youbeen laying out your workout
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clothes? Have you possibly goneto the gym more in the last two
weeks than you have in threemonths but you're just being
hard on yourself, you're being abit of a perfectionist, the 20
list really focuses you on howthings might be working better
than you think they are working.
I know for me, when I did the 20list, I just did it last week, I
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was having a moment where I feltlike things weren't working. And
it really just calmed me down.
And it really got me into aplace of sufficiency. And it
really got me into a place whereI was almost emotional, like
looking at my life, like,actually, my life is really
good. Here's another thing youcan do, not only can you do it
about something specific, likeyour weight loss, or your
workout routine, or yourrelationship, you can just do it
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in life in general. Sometimes wehave those moments where we feel
like, maybe we got in a fightwith one of our kids. And maybe
we we had someone that we had ameeting with, and they literally
didn't show up for a meeting.
And then you like sprained yourankle? I'm just like, What a
horrible day, right? That's theperfect time to do the 20 list
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for your whole life. So thisisn't about one thing not
working. Because you know, we'veall been at that moment where we
feel like for the love of Pete,nothing is working. Right? It's
like when it rains, when itrains, it pours. And so you can
look at your whole life and goHow is my life working and write
the 20 list, when I should havesaid this early on. I'm assuming
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you know this, when I say the 20list, you're gonna find 20
things that probably would havebeen good about seven minutes
ago, you're gonna find 20different things, what's gonna
happen is you're gonna get tolike 14 and be like, I got
nothing, I promise you stay withit, find more to decide to focus
on that is working. The 20 listreally is just a tool to help
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you think intentionally aboutyour life. Have you ever met
someone? Or have you ever had afriend where you're talking to
them, and they're just reallylooking at everything, just very
negatively, very glass halfempty, and you're looking at
their life and you're like,shit, their life is pretty
amazing. Imagine if they tookthe time to do this, you can see
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what they don't see. So givethis gift to yourself and take
time and write out 20 thingsthat really are working. And I
think I've talked about this onthe podcast before is when I was
starting this coaching business,I went through like a three
month period where I didn't geta console. And I felt like
things are taking too long. Likewhy am I not getting clients
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with this is like almost twoyears ago now. And I was really
frustrated because I was showingup and I had just started the
podcast. And I felt like I feltlike I was so ready to help all
the people and it didn't seemlike it was working. And so I
started every night before Iwent to bed, I bought this
little book at TJ Maxx. And it'sjust a like a little very tiny
journal. And I started everynight before he went to bed and
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I wrote down things are workingdot dot dot. And I would write
like three or four things thatwere working in my life. Because
for me, when I would lay my headdown on the pillow, that's when
all of the worry would come up,maybe I'm not gonna be able to
do this, maybe people aren'thearing me, maybe Instagram
isn't working, you know, youcome up with all these crazy,
crazy thoughts about why thingsaren't working. And starting
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that practice, what just writinga few things down about why
things are working, it makes youcompletely focus in a different
way. And here's why it matters.
Here's why all of this matterswhy that practice, I started at
night, which I totally still do,by the way. And why
occasionally, if I feelfrustrated, or I feel
overwhelmed, the 20 list reallyworks for me. So I'll tell you
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why. Why it matters. What wefocus on, produces a feeling in
our body. And that feeling inour body is going to determine
how we show up, it's going todetermine the actions we take,
it's going to be determined theactions we don't take. And that
is going to directly impact theresults we are creating in our
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life. So if you are one of thosemany women that have been
following along and you'retrying to eat better, you want
to be healthy, and you want toage better, and you want to move
your body better. You justreally want to create a new life
for yourself in terms of yourbody and fitness and the way you
talk to yourself all of thethings we've been talking about
here on the podcast. And youhave a moment where you're like,
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oh, it's not working and you'refrustrated. You focus on what is
working, you are going to feelmore at peace, you're going to
feel more inspired, you're goingto feel more confident, and that
is going to lead you to keepgoing. It's going to lead you to
try something new. It's gonnalead you to do things maybe
you've never done before, inorder to produce some new
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results in your life. That's whythis matters. The way we feel
about what we're doing, the waywe feel about our life about all
the different facets of our lifedirectly affects the results we
create in our life because itaffects how we show up. And when
I say how we show up it's verylike coaches speak but what that
means is like how we show up itmeans like what we do Don't do.
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It's the basis for everything Iteach on this podcast, the way
you think what we focus ourattention on, which basically
are is means our thoughts,create feelings in our body,
that inspires us to take actionor not action, and that directly
affects the results we arecreating. So use this 20 lists
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to refocus you on what isworking, make yourself feel good
about your life about what isworking, and that is going to
inspire you to take even moreintentional, motivated, powerful
action. My husband was totallyinspired by this when I told him
he goes, God, you're amazing.
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He's so wonderful. So yes, the20 list, give it a try. Let me
know how you're liking the 20list. Let me know I would love
for you to let me know howyou're liking the podcast. I
would love for you to tell me ifyou have any ideas. Tell me
something if you're strugglingwith something, and you're like,
I wish Courtney would talk aboutthis or that I would love to
hear from you. So hit me up overemail through the website. Hit
(16:01):
me up through social media. Iusually am on LinkedIn and
Instagram the most I would loveto hear from you and reach out
if I can help you reach yourgoals. That's what I do. Have a
great Tuesday. If you are readyto lose weight and keep it off
permanently, if you have trieddiets and you know they don't
work and you're ready for realchange. I would love to have a
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conversation with you. I coachwomen privately one on one, and
I'm currently offeringconsultations to talk about
working together. click my linkin the show notes or head to
Courtney Gray coaching.com Oryou can find me on Instagram at
Courtney Gray coaching