December 2024 Monthly Update

I have gotten a LOT better at composing music. I am now working on something I will reveal next month.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Man, oh man. Last time I thought I had it all, but I realized that importance is actually

(00:13):
not the sole factor in your happiness levels. Yes, I still think it plays a critical role.
For example, I just spent the last hour trying to figure out how to record this podcast on

(00:34):
a software that I've been using to make music, and I just couldn't figure it out because all
of these problems arose and I could literally feel, you might even be able to hear it in
my voice. I could feel my mind just going into that spiral of just experiencing extreme,

(01:04):
not extreme, but experiencing discomfort, discomfort because of all of the problems that I'm facing.
When you experience one problem and it doesn't have a solution straight away, you tend to
go even deeper into the spiral. What I mean by that is if you observe the process of that

(01:29):
happening, you can feel yourself losing awareness, and then you can feel yourself becoming more
immersed in this situation. That's exactly what happened for the last hour. So many different
problems, and the solution I came up with was to just record in a different software,

(01:51):
simple as that. So that's what I'm doing. I'm recording in audacity instead of Reaper,
which is what I was going to record in because I've been making music in Reaper. Reaper is
a software. It's called a DAW. I forgot what it stands for, but it's basically a software

(02:11):
you can use. You can plug in your keyboard and make music. That's what I've been doing
for the past couple weeks. Last month, I played a song. I think it was my 14th composition.

(02:33):
That was so bad. Every single month, I re-listened to, right before I start recording my next
monthly update, I re-listened to the previous one so that I can basically write down a bunch
of items to talk about. For example, right now I'm talking about a recap on the music

(03:00):
that I've been working on. While I was listening to the last episode, I couldn't listen to
that song. It was just so terrible. The main reason was because I didn't edit it. My technique
was poor. I only spent a couple hours, maybe like three hours practicing that song. But

(03:28):
I started editing my songs. If you make a mistake, you can just delete that note. I
am so happy with the progress that I've made so far. I actually am starting to make songs
that sound competent. Two months ago, actually, three months, not even a little over two

(03:48):
months ago, I didn't even know how to play piano. I barely knew anything about music.
My music background is playing saxophone from fourth grade until eighth grade, which is
essentially just a couple months' worth of experience because I didn't practice at all
in middle school. I only practiced in fourth grade and maybe fifth grade. Basically, two

(04:14):
months ago, I didn't know anything about music. I've just been putting in the reps.
Now my song that I'm about to play for you in a moment, I think it sounds pretty decent.
There was an idea that I had where if you put 100 hours of practice into something, just

(04:40):
pure reps, then you'll reach a turning point where you no longer get as great of returns
from just putting in reps. That's when you have to switch to focusing on the quality.
I had that theory because that's what I did with my podcast. I basically did 100 episodes

(05:03):
over 100 days and the majority of them were 100 hour or the majority of them were one
hour each. I put in 100 hours of reps in the podcasting and that was the turning point
where I started to focus on quality. Now I remember now that the turning point actually

(05:25):
happened a lot earlier than that. It's just that I was kind of afraid or I didn't really
know what to do because I remember thinking around episodes 70 maybe even earlier than
that where I was thinking that I was not making that much progress. Maybe for an entire

(05:48):
month I was just kind of plateaued putting in extra reps that I didn't really need. That's
kind of what happened with this composition because I announced that I was going to do
30 compositions just focusing on reps and that got into my head where I was okay, that's

(06:11):
my number, 30 days of 30 compositions and that will be the turning point where I can
start focusing on quality. Instead of paying attention to my actual skill level and making
a decision in time, I made a decision beforehand and I made myself stick to it which caused

(06:32):
problems because for maybe six days I remember once I got to composition 24 or maybe even
21 I started to feel ready to start focusing on quality but I kept pushing it and I started
to get that struggling feeling that I remember experiencing when I was doing the podcast around

(06:52):
episode 70 when I reached the turning point but I stuck to it and that's the moment where
you actually don't want to stick to it because if you stick to it you're simply just plateauing
and you're not making as much progress which brings into mind another idea that I have

(07:13):
been thinking about lately. My friend Franklin, he mentioned something in passing a couple
weeks ago, we were talking and he basically said that his new thing is and not like his
new thing but like something that he's noticed in his life recently is that one month feels

(07:37):
like an entire year. Now he was mentioning that in a different context to what I'm explaining
but it basically translates. What I noticed is that one month if you are learning and
you are basically the process of learning is a constant, it's like an extreme period of,

(08:08):
not even period but it's just learning is the process of brain cells dying and new ones
being born. That's essentially what learning is. Actually I don't even know the first

(08:28):
thing about learning. I'm no scientist but that's kind of like the idea I like to think
of in my mind. That's what, it's just a useful belief for me. So when you're learning and
you're in that period of kind of discomfort but if it's something that you want to learn

(08:48):
that it's like good discomfort, if you're doing that a lot like pretty much all day
is just learning then you, your time basically moves so much slower. There are, were times
in my life where one week would go by and it felt like a day. Like I remember last Monday

(09:09):
just like it was yesterday but then recently it's been the complete opposite where one
week would go by and it feels like an entire month passed. Like it feels like it's been
an entire month. I talked to my friends once a week and that is what I noticed recently

(09:33):
is every time I talk to them I'm like, oh my goodness it's been only a week. It felt
like so long and it's because I'm learning so much and that connects to the 100 hour
idea. When you're in that phase of pure repetitions you're basically learning and you're laying

(09:55):
out the foundation to what's to come and that's what I was doing with the podcast and up until
around episode 70, maybe 70 hours in, I started plateau and I wasn't learning as much so time
was kind of going quicker and that, I didn't start, I didn't shift the focus right away

(10:23):
and as a result I didn't learn as much as I could have and how that happened in recent
times with my music composition I was on maybe composition number 21 and I told myself I
was going to do 30 days of 30 compositions or it was more of just 30 compositions and

(10:48):
once I got to 21 I started to reach the point where I wasn't learning as much because I
was just focused on quantity and once you reach a certain point in order to learn more
you have to focus on quality and just get better and so for a couple days I was just

(11:09):
kind of not as excited about doing another rep and that's exactly what happened with
the podcast and that's kind of how you can tell instead of focusing on the 100 hours,
yeah 100 hours is a good kind of milestone, not milestone but a good thing to be aware

(11:29):
of like the 100 hour idea but you should also just make the choice at the time and be aware
of how much you're learning and I did a lot better this time around because I ended up
fasting for like a day and a half and just cranking out the final four compositions in

(11:52):
two days instead of doing one composition per day I did four compositions in like a day
and a half and I was able to finish the 30 reps just because I wanted to finish the 30
reps because I said I was going to do 30 reps and it's kind of cool to do 30 I don't it
was just something and I finished it in a quicker amount of time and then I was able

(12:17):
to move on and what I moved on to was starting to actually work on quality so that means
composing a song but also playing it into Reaper which allows you to edit your notes
and it allows you to basically make your notes on time one huge issue that I had because

(12:41):
I didn't have enough skill was I wasn't able to play on time but you can just click a button
and it puts everything on time for you in that software and so the songs actually sound
competent and I noticed that I am going such a great path for learning music because as

(13:05):
I'm learning about this I'm seeing other paths that other people trying to learn how to make
music take and they're just taking like a cheap route but this route that I'm taking
allows I'm just building such great skills that is like found fundamental to music composition

(13:27):
and I'm so grateful for that I put in like an extra month or two of practice of building
fundamental skills that a lot of people simply just don't build and it's giving me a huge
advantage I think and so the hundred hours framework I think there's something to it

(13:50):
but maybe it's a little less than that and also pay attention to what you're feeling
at the time if your inspiration drops because you're not learning as much then it's time
to transition so let's just let's just listen to the song because I was focusing on just

(14:17):
getting adding different instruments like trumpets piano strings like violins and string
instruments like cello violin viola I was that's what I was working on with the song
or with Reaper the quality phase was just focused on adding different instruments and

(14:39):
getting used to the sounds of different instruments so that when I hear things in my head I can
be like oh that needs to be trumpet or oh that needs to be strings and what I realized
recently was that I actually don't need to focus too much on all of that kind of complicated
stuff because the core the 80% of music composition I think so far what I believe so far is melody

(15:08):
and a compliment being able to have a good melody and have a good accompaniment like
I'm pretty sure a compliment is like the background stuff I don't even know I don't know any of
the music stuff I bought a book on how to compose is like it was called fundamentals of music

(15:28):
composition and I could not read it because it was talking about music theory and I am
fine with music theory but it was talking about just all the all the terms that it was
using in that book made it unreadable because it or unreadable for me because I don't really
have any knowledge of music theory and I don't really care to gain the knowledge of music

(15:54):
theory I just want to make good good music and you don't need to know music theory to
be able to make good music because people made music theory to describe good music and to
figure out how people made that good music but the people who made the good music didn't
necessarily know the music theory the music theory was derived from the music itself it's

(16:19):
like a secondary source instead of the primary source so let's just listen to this song and
it's I yeah let's just listen to it I'm gonna quit rambling

(17:29):
man I'm actually just so happy with how much

(17:59):
progress I made I couldn't even play piano two months ago and I just made that song it
is so crazy you know there's a huge limiting belief that I used to have and what I noticed
a lot of people have it's the idea of oh this person's been playing or oh this person's

(18:20):
been doing this for a year I've only been doing it or I haven't even started doing it
how am I ever gonna catch up no it's not about how much time you do something someone can
a taxi driver can have 20 years of experience driving a taxi but that doesn't make him a
NASCAR racer he is not going to be able to compete against a NASCAR racer who could have

(18:45):
been driving for maybe 10 years or less I don't know but the point is it's not about
how much time you put into something it's about the depth or the quality of the time
that you put into it there was a perfect way to explain this that I had I wrote down in

(19:05):
my journal a couple weeks ago multiple times actually throughout the past couple months
I always remind myself that it's not about how much time you put into it it's it's about
how you make that how what use you make of that time because I played saxophone for five
years five years and I'm already better at piano than I was at saxophone after two months

(19:37):
that is the better the better you can get at learning and the better you can there's
a skill you can get good at something then you can also get good at getting good so you
can I use to play video games you can get good at one video game or you can get good
at getting good at video games so that when the next game comes out and all your friends

(20:00):
are playing that next one you can get good really quick at that next one too and that's
exactly what I've been doing with real life or I'm not okay video games are a real life
skill and I'm not saying that as like a child addicted to video gaming I'm saying that as
yes video games are part of the real world and that's that's a completely different discussion

(20:24):
I don't even care about that I haven't thought about much about that but I just thought about
that okay whatever going on with the point is that it doesn't matter how much time don't
ever be discouraged if someone has ten years of experience no you can catch up to someone
really quick with just a season of just going all in just pushing pushing yourself I didn't

(20:49):
even push myself that hard to learn this stuff I wanted to learn it and that's that's a huge
piece of the puzzle if you don't want to learn something or if your whole being is not on
board you're not going to make as much progress and you're simply not going to learn as much
it's just a fact but I my entire being just wants to make music and learn how to make

(21:13):
better music as quick as possible and that is what that's what allows me to make so much
progress and I'm so happy with the progress that song in a week from now I'm probably
going to look at that song and be like man that was terrible but I look at my song that

(21:33):
I put on this podcast last episode one month ago and it's like comparing a piece of poop
to a real thing that you want to look at I don't I don't even know where I'm going
with this basically you can get good really quick at things and a good way to tell if

(21:56):
you're getting good really good or really quick is well obviously if you look back at
one week ago and you see that you've grown a lot then that's another telltale sign but
another sign is if you start learning something in the morning and then you are not already

(22:16):
competent or you've made significant progress at that thing by a couple hours or not even
a couple hours but just maybe an hour or by the end of the day you'll have progressed
significantly in that direction for example when I first started learning the piano the

(22:39):
day one I was literally sitting in my room looking at the keyboard with flashcards out
and the flashcards had letters A B C D E F G I almost forgot all of them but A B C D E
F G all the letters of the white notes on the piano and I literally just looked at the

(23:02):
flashcard and I'm like oh that one says F so I gotta find F on the piano and then the
first day when I first looked at the piano obviously I didn't even know anything but
then after 10 minutes I was like oh I kind of know where F is after a little while of
practice and then after by the end of the day I was able to spot and find identify F

(23:29):
or and every single note I was able to identify every single white note so seven notes within
a couple seconds and by the end of the next day I was able to just do it instantly basically
and that is a way you can tell if you're making significant progress and I'm basically talking

(23:56):
in the context of something I'm working on right now that I don't want to reveal because
I literally started working on this last night and it's something I've kind of felt drawn
to for the past couple days maybe even weeks but I never really allowed myself to dive
into it until this morning or maybe last night but this morning today is the first day that

(24:22):
I started working on this thing that I'm not going to reveal this month simply because
I don't want to talk about something that I'm doing until I've done it and that's something
that I've done in the past that there's no benefit to saying your plans so next month
I will reveal the thing that I'm talking about and I hope that I know it's going to be obvious

(24:46):
to me that I know alright whatever basically I'm working on something and I'm going to
reveal it next month that is another item checked off the list I'm yes I have a list
of discussion topics like I talked about earlier where I listen every every single month I sit

(25:08):
down and re-listen to the last month's episode and just write down a bunch of talking points
and in this particular month I have five talking points and I just finished all of them except
for these last two things in the beginning of this episode I mentioned something I said

(25:33):
that importance is not the only piece of the puzzle now let's go a little deeper because
I think that instead of yes I still hold my belief that importance is an addiction but

(25:55):
there is another thing that I was vaguely aware of it's kind of like a thing that you're
kind of aware of but you can't really put your finger on it until I became aware of
it when my friend mentioned it or I don't even remember how I became aware of it but
probably my friend mentioned it and we realized that transurfing is an addiction me and my

(26:23):
friend have been becoming super aware of this herd instinct it's this idea of how humans
developed with a herd mentality that's how we were able to survive and it's obvious like

(26:43):
look at mobs for example when you get into a crowd your awareness kind of becomes the
awareness of the herd and then you do things that maybe you wouldn't have done in other
circumstances there are some extreme examples in history for example world war two there

(27:04):
was the enemy party of world war two they kind of had the herd mentality where ordinary
people just like you and I end up doing terrible things another example is like in American
history with the Native Americans and the settlers and like the American soldiers there

(27:29):
were examples of the massacres of Native Americans where soldiers would just do terrible things
but in other circumstances they're just normal people and so that's like the idea of the
herd mentality where you kind of do things that you wouldn't necessarily do in other

(27:50):
situations and it's also it also relates to your beliefs for example if you identify as
a person a part of ex-religion so let's say I'm a Christian if you say I'm a Christian
then you identify with that herd you your kind of awareness is in that herd and then

(28:15):
you kind of say oh am I following the rules of the Bible or oh let me look to the Bible
for answers oh let me look to the priest for answers and this is not just like religion
this is also literally anything that you can identify with being a YouTuber I don't call
myself a YouTuber I don't call myself a podcaster I don't call myself any of that because when

(28:37):
you call yourself something you basically identify with that herd mentality and it can be very
damaging for example I have been a part of the herd mentality for transurfing and what
I mentioned earlier was or a moment ago was that me and my friend have been noticing the

(29:02):
herd mentality in ourselves and we've kind of started to have a dislike for it for example
when we say the word transurfing to explain or to just convey the idea that we're trying
to convey at the moment when we say transurfing to convey the essence of transurfing like

(29:28):
conscious awareness and all that stuff a way of living when we say that we start me and
my friend start getting a little uncomfortable we start feeling like I don't really like
that word same thing with self-improvement that would that's a big herd that I've always

(29:49):
kind of had this feeling of I don't really like it same thing with religion like I grew
up in Christian household and I never sat right with me just being a part of that herd
and it's simply because when you're a part of the herd you look for answers outwards
instead of internal and that's a huge reason why I have the oscillations with transurfing

(30:17):
when I like I mentioned for the past couple months when I read transurfing I'm happy but
then for when I finish reading it I start going downhill and I forget it's more like
when I'm reading transurfing that's like the one text that I am that I found so far that

(30:39):
really gives me the information that I need to apply and so it's basically me looking
for answers outwards and then applying them inwards it's no different to the herd mentality
like you have to look for the answers in the Bible you have to look for the answers to
you have to ask the priest for answers all the answers but what I realize is that it's

(31:06):
actually if you start looking for the answers within then that's where like happiness comes
from and I noticed my friend basically spoke it perfectly the more you listen to in transurfing

(31:28):
he calls it the heart in Christian Christianity it's called Jesus or Christ or God the more
you listen to like that voice in and I'm not talking about the the bad voice because there's
lots of different voices in the mind but I'm talking about that silent kind of knowing
in your in your being when you kind of know that you have to do something for example

(31:53):
if you're just sitting on the couch and all of a sudden you're like oh I kind of want
to learn how to play the piano and you like just have an extreme desire to learn the play
of piano and that's kind of what I'm talking about here if you start the more you listen
to that and also when you're making decisions for example when you're making decisions after

(32:17):
you make a decision you're that kind of voice in your in your being your heart will either
be comfortable or it will be really happy or it'll just kind of be neutral and the more
you listen to that during decisions during life whatever it is the more you listen to
that thing in your mind the happier you become and that's kind of looking for the answers

(32:42):
within because you can also ask questions for example I had I walk or my neighbor went
out for vacation a couple weeks ago and she asked me to walk her dogs and so I one day
I was walking her dog and I had to lock up the house and so I finished walking the dogs

(33:05):
and I feed them do everything and I lock up the house and I leave but as I'm leaving I
hear the dogs going crazy like I hear the dog barking and I'm like oh no like I'm kind
of getting nervous like should I go back in and so instead of just going back into investigate
and then inevitably the dog will start barking again because that's whatever instead of doing

(33:28):
that I start walking away and I asked myself am I safe to leave and I I kind of felt that
feeling I felt for that feeling that I'm referring to in my mind or in my being because it's
not it's more of like in your chest like I feel it in my chest a lot of times then I

(33:53):
also sometimes I feel in my head I don't know it's hard to explain but everyone kind of
intuitively knows what I'm talking about like when you have that feeling that you knew there
was nothing good that could have come out of it that's what I'm talking about that feeling
and so I looked for that feeling and the thing I was looking for was inner discomfort if
there was inner discomfort that would mean that I have to go back and go check on that

(34:16):
dog because that means that it's not safe to leave but there was no inner discomfort
it was just kind of empty so I left and the next day I went to go walk the dogs again
and you know what you know what happened nothing everything turned out perfectly so that's
what I mean by the more you listen to that voice in your like that quiet voice that

(34:43):
we often ignore the more you listen to it the happier you become and that's another
piece of the puzzle yes importance plays a huge role because when you have importance
you can't listen to that voice when you're you have importance is basically the equivalent
of putting ear mufflers on and you can't hear anything in regards to that voice so importance

(35:08):
is it's essential to eliminate importance to be able to hear it but then you also have
to take the step to hear it and actually pay attention to it that's that's another piece
of the puzzle where how I have those oscillate or I had those oscillations with Transurfing
where I would only be happy when I'm reading Transurfing and it's because I forget to look

(35:31):
inside for the answers and now that I'm aware now that I am aware of it it is a lot easier
to move forward when you are aware of something it is just it it's a game changer when you're
aware of something I've had this insecurity with my posture my where it's called rib flare

(35:53):
it's basically when your upper ribs your push your abs out and it kind of from the side
if you're wearing a shirt from the side even if you have a six pack from the side it looks
like you're fat like you have a a big bulging belly but and that was a huge insecurity of

(36:15):
mine and that it wasn't really an insecurity it was something more of like oh this is kind
of stupid like I have a six pack I should I should have I want to look like I have a six
pack from the side so it wasn't like a insecurity where I was beating myself up over it was more
of like like this is something I want to fix but I just don't know how to fix it and I

(36:36):
remember I for years I spent years doing stretches trying to trying to fix it and I've I made
probably like 10% improvement and it was just ridiculous and then all of a sudden I was
aware of the solution and I found the answer and then over the past couple weeks I've been

(36:58):
working on it and I've made significant improvements in just a couple weeks when it took years
to get no progress so that's it's so amazing how how much of a game changer it is when
you're aware of something and that's you can become aware of it it's so hard to believe

(37:21):
it when you're not aware of something but you can become aware of it simply by listening
to that voice like you that voice will lead you in the direction for example recently
I've been thinking to myself like all areas of my life are on the uphill like everything
is going great and every part of my life is getting better in what in one year from now

(37:50):
literally every aspect of my entire life is going to be better physical social mental
financial literally everything is on the uphill except for one thing and that one thing is
eyesight and I that's kind of been something I've been vaguely aware of it's like that

(38:11):
it's like that like I mentioned earlier when you're kind of aware of something but you
can't put your finger on it it's like that where all my life I'm like okay I have crappy
vision that's ridiculous like there's no way it's a genetic thing I like I have this
belief where there's this phrase that I've been repeating to myself lately it's the fact

(38:34):
that in our society there's this super popular limiting belief of oh it's a genetic thing
oh you need genetics for that like you need good genetics and then I always repeat to
myself in my mind oh it's a genetic thing well good thing I have genetics I don't know why
I just love that phrase so much but basically I feel like it's ridiculous that I have bad

(39:01):
vision like that's just ridiculous how how silly is that a human being it's your birth
right to have excellent everything human beings are the most excellent creatures in the entire
animal kingdom we're the most advanced creatures in the entire world and you're telling me

(39:26):
I have bad eyesight I can't read things far away you're telling me that and you're telling
me I have to wear glasses for the rest of my life that I have that it's gonna be on the
decay for the rest of my life no that's ridiculous I completely reject that notion and I've always
rejected that notion I always kind of didn't really like wearing glasses I always didn't

(39:46):
really like wearing contacts and actually I haven't worn glasses or contacts in years
I only wear it when I drive and I don't even remember the last time I drove probably a
year and that's the thing it's ridiculous it's our birthright to have excellent every

(40:08):
aspect of our life excellent health excellent mental health excellent vision literally everything
should is our birthright we and if you don't believe me well too bad for you too bad for
you that is such a why would you not want to adopt that belief that belief will do nothing

(40:31):
but help you belief is such an interesting topic that I've been learning a lot about
lately and I just I just love how you can have just so stupid beliefs that you cling
on to it's like that herd mentality that I talked about and I do it all the time like
or I've been doing better at avoiding that but like I used to I don't even remember if

(40:56):
I used to do I don't know whatever I basically beliefs are something very important in life
and the example that I'm saying this was a long tangent whatever the example I'm saying
is that when you're aware of something it's a game changer for example for a long time
I didn't want my vision to decay I wanted to fix my vision and I was kind of like aware

(41:21):
that there's there's definitely a solution out there in the world but I don't know what
it is and all the solutions that have been brought to my attention like I heard someone
say that they manifested vision better vision that's just not practical for me I yes I want
to manifest it but I it doesn't it doesn't work if it doesn't work if that I don't even

(41:45):
know if that makes sense I manifested myself a better looking physique stronger physique
but there was a practical way that I actually went about doing that alright whatever basically
the it's a game changer when you're aware of the solution and I recently talked to a

(42:09):
guy that I haven't talked to in months like literally months I haven't talked to him and
he mentioned this thing about red light exposure and how there was a study done with where they
took a bunch of old people with cataracts and they put them in a room with red light exposure

(42:30):
for two weeks and after two weeks like all the cataracts were gone and I'm not even sure
I think I did look up the study and they said that there was more research needed to prove
its validity I don't know doesn't matter basically that was like oh shoot there is a deaf there
is a legitimate solution to this now I wasn't super satisfied with the solution of red light

(42:56):
therapy I don't know why just I just wasn't so I looked a little bit further and what
do you know I look up how to fix your eyesight and I find a book that explains just that
it's written by a guy who was born blind and he had to have eye surgery and he was left

(43:21):
with 99% scar tissue in both of his eyes and so he was basically blind 1% vision and then
when he was 17 years old he wanted to fix his eyes and so he learned how to like he learned
exercises like a bodybuilder exercises their muscles and they get stronger so this guy

(43:45):
exercised his eyes so they got stronger and by within a year he regained 50% vision back
from being blind to being able to see halfway that's pretty significant and then he is he's
like 50 years old now he wrote a book and now he's got perfect vision he's able to drive

(44:11):
he's got like all this stuff and he wrote a book about it and so that that now that
I'm aware of that book I am no longer unaware that's the power of being aware of something
I have not taken any action I didn't buy the book I'm probably not gonna buy the book for
quite a while but now I'm aware of it and now it's not something that is like tormenting

(44:34):
me where I'm like it's on the back of my mind where all my vision is going downhill now I'm
completely aware that there is definitely a future version of me that has perfect vision
and that is what I mean by the power of awareness so that is basically shoot I have one more

(44:57):
thing to talk about competition there is something that I vaguely been aware of and
it's the idea of competition like oh I'm competing against all these other entrepreneurs all
these other youtubers but in reality you're not like there is no competition you are not
physically put up against another person and you have to beat them down with boxing gloves

(45:22):
or you are not physically put up against another person and you have to race them and beat them
to the finish line you are not in that competition in life life is a cooperation and one aspect
of this is the idea of how everything is a cooperative effort which I became aware or

(45:44):
I learned a lot about in a book called the sin of humanity but the aware that the aspect
that I want to talk about is the idea that you don't it's not we're not in competition
with each other I used to have this idea and while I had this idea I was like uncomfortable

(46:04):
with it I never really liked the idea of competing with other people I always thought the reason
why I allowed it into my life was because I thought I would have value in the sense that
when you're competing against someone you push yourself further and you're motivated
to act better or to be better but I'm reading this book called the courage to be disliked

(46:32):
and they're talking about how when you see life as a competition you start to see people
as your enemies or like your adversaries and instead of and with your friends when you
have this competitive outlook and your friends have wins then you start to see yourself as

(46:58):
losing because when you have this competition worldview then it's either win or lose like
you either win or lose but then when your friend wins let's say your friend does something
good that does not affect you at all it's just a win for the friend then you start to
see that as your loss and I noticed that 100% because I noticed it in myself and other people

(47:25):
where let's say another person it has a huge win I can't fully celebrate them because deep
down I interpret that as my loss and that's just ridiculous I want to be able to celebrate
my friends win with my entire being and I learned that potentially the root cause of

(47:46):
that is the idea that we're all in competition or even the idea that there is any competition
it's more like we're all in a horizontal plane kind of moving forward in our own direction
like there is no competition it's you are moving forward and it's the idea of your competing
against yourself like you are the only person in competition with yourself there is no other

(48:10):
person in this competition it's just you and that's something I've started to I'm
glad that I became aware of that once again it's the idea of when you're aware of something
you you win half the half the battle because this is something I I it didn't sit right

(48:31):
with me having the idea of competition because it's ridiculous how you can't her or how I
can't fully celebrate my friends wins like that's just outrageous it's unacceptable
to me so that's that's why I'm glad that I learned about competition that's it that

(48:55):
was a long episode I'm about to go to bed it's about to be five o'clock all right peace
out.