Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to
another episode of The Tao of
Humaning.
I'm Dr.
Christine, and I'm so thrilledthat you have joined us for
another episode today.
I am going to be talking aboutthis idea of why transitions
feel so hard sometimes and howto navigate change without
(00:24):
frustration.
This is such a key aspect to howwe human and how we human
together.
There's this way that we get socozy and comfortable with the
way that things are going.
And yeah, sometimes life willpresent us with change and
(00:48):
transitions, and there's we meetthat with resistance because,
you know, for a lot of reasons.
Sometimes because we don't wantthe next transition, and
sometimes because we're unsureor we're looking at the unknown
as coming next, and thatsometimes doesn't feel
comfortable, right?
(01:10):
Um, what I have found instudying five elements and
Taoism over the last, well,especially the last 10 or 15
years, I've really been leaninginto this system of Taoist um
cosmology where there is thisenergetic returning to center
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and pausing before we pivot intothe next thing.
And we use this with the fiveelements.
So if you've listened to thefive elements episode, you know,
there is this seasonality andmovement to the way that we
originally learn them.
So it moves from spring, right,into summer, into late summer,
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into fall, into winter, intospring, right?
And it circles around all fiveof the elements.
With this other system, it movesalways from one season back to
center, back to earth, and thenit moves to the next season.
And it's really been interestingto see how this has played out
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in my own life and practice, andalso the students that I work
with in my Sacred Heart Qigongcommunity.
We've been implementing thisstrategy for the last two years,
where we actually have thesekind of micro practices of
recognizing change and beingable to set aside a small bit of
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time to go back to center, goback to earth.
And what that what that ends updoing is it it helps us to build
these muscles so that when lifeactually brings us this big
change or transformation, ournervous system is set up so that
it's like, oh, okay, it'sanother change or transition.
(03:08):
It's it doesn't go into freakoutmode.
It instead goes into, well, Iwonder what might feel
nourishing in this, or I wonderwhat's needed.
There's um another tool that Iuse a lot is in times of change
and trans uh transition isleaning into these three, I was
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taught them as the three heroquestions.
So what's needed?
What's next?
What's needed, and how can I usethis?
Those are are fantastic whenyou're really in the thick of
things, especially when you'rereally in the thick of things.
They're great questionsregardless.
Um, what's next?
What's needed?
How can I use this?
(03:52):
Right?
It starts to activate ourresources in a way that is
useful, right?
So we're not like feeling at theeffect of the things that are
showing up in our lives.
And that that's a whole otherside episode we could see.
Um, but what so going back totoday's topic of you know why
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transitions can feel so hard orwhy change can feel so hard,
part of it is this, you know, weget comfortable and we don't
necessarily want to be, we thinkthat there's discomfort on the
other side or unknown, um, whichis often true.
And what I found is that there'sso much value in practicing
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before you need it.
When it comes to energetics or,you know, emotional wellness
practices, when you're in thethick of something, it's really
hard to implement a new strategybecause you're in it, right?
But if you've built thesemuscles along the way, your
system settles and receives whatlife is is bringing to you in a
(05:08):
very different way.
And so the way that we do this,so I've been practicing this
for, well, I've been practicingit probably for 10 years, but
for consistently with a group ofpeople the last two years, and
it has been wildly different.
So what we do is we look at thetransition between winter and
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spring.
I'll use that as an exampletoday.
That's oftentimes the mostdramatic change in energy.
So using five elements as ourkind of guide map here.
So winter, we're hibernating,we're cozy, we're like doing the
reading, and it's dark, andlike, you know, we get all like
(05:50):
in hibernation mode and it'slovely.
After that comes spring, whichis that wood energy that we
talked about in the episode onfive elements, and we, you know,
spring is like directional, andthose like little sprouts are
bursting through the soil, andthere is movement everywhere,
and life is just like happening.
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It's amazing.
It can feel a little bitjarring.
Oftentimes, even when we'reexcited and feeling ready for
that transition and that change,our our system like almost
doesn't catch up quite as thatdoesn't align quite as quickly
as we think it will.
And that can show up in feelingsof frustration when the energy
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starts, like late winter, earlyspring.
You can start to notice whenyou're driving, you might notice
it in other drivers, you maynotice it in yourself as a
driver, that the feeling of likepeople being a bit more
frustrated, right?
Or just like, oh, that guy cutme off, or like, oh, why is
everyone in such a rush?
And you know, that's I laugh nowbecause it's like, oh yeah,
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spring's coming.
Everyone's bumping up againstthat shift from really quiet,
sleepy to okay, let's go, right?
Um, so what we do in thispractice is we instead of
moving, you know, directly fromwinter to spring, we insert a
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pause.
And we do that by returning toEarth.
So instead of going around thecircle of, you know, some you'll
see the five element circles,you'll go from winter time back
to earth and you hang out therefor a couple of weeks.
It's actually about 18 daysbefore the transition into the
next season of spring.
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And what that does is it givesus this opportunity to be like,
wow, okay, where did I, wherewas I this last 10 weeks?
What just happened in the lasttwo to three months?
And what about that feltnourishing, right?
Bringing in that earth energy,that like comfort, nourishing,
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grounded qualities, right?
Of like, okay, I feel safe here.
I'm dedicating this time toseeing what worked, what felt
really great, what did I notlove, and what could maybe not
move forward with me intospring.
And what am I looking forwardto?
So bringing in a bit of thatvisioning of the springtime and
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the wood element.
And it can be so simple.
We could do this through, youknow, journaling.
This could be something that youdo in a meditation in the
mornings for a week or two.
It could be just a post-it.
I use post-its all the time forthings like this, where I'll
just write down, like, you know,I wonder um what nourishment is
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available.
And I'll stick that within myline of sight throughout my day.
So if I'm, you know, sometimesI'll put them on my bathroom
mirror, in my car, wherever, onyour desk, somewhere that you're
gonna see it and it's gonnainterrupt your normal flow of
things.
I also use the reminders app onmy phone for this, which is a
really useful magical toolbecause our phones always are
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gonna get our attention, right?
We're gonna check our phones atsome point.
So why not use that as areminder?
So setting up this dedicatedtime where, you know, I always
think about when I was incollege, I grew up in Maine and
I did my undergrad out inSouthern California.
And on the breaks, in betweenthings, I would travel back to
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Maine and I would see my family,which I am very blessed to have,
a wonderful and supportivefamily.
So that was a nourishing, veryearthy, earth-nourishing kind of
experience for me.
And I was able to go back.
I didn't know I was doing thisat the time, but I had, you
know, you kind of had a built-inopportunities when you're in
school.
Or if you have kids in schoolnow and you're a mom, you could
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also use these breaks as thiskind of a check-in.
It doesn't have to be around theequinox and the solstices, but
it can be.
Um, but I would have this time,I would go back and I would
reflect on the last few monthsand everything that happened and
what was great and what was notso great.
And, you know, it would alsonaturally move conversation into
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what's coming next and what am Iexcited about and what am I
nervous about, what am I notsure, um, where do I need
support, right?
So looking at that, bringing theenergy of that kind of
experience to our seasonalcalendar and our, you know, our
Google calendars nowadays,right?
(10:37):
Like I will actually write inlike these are these are the two
weeks.
So if you're looking, if we'reusing this shift from winter to
spring as an example, um using,you know, from after the first
couple days of March up untilthe 2021st, 2021, it doesn't
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have to be exact.
And I think that's somethingthat's also really important,
and people can get a little bitfundamentally about the dates of
these things.
Um, I like to look at, and Ifind it more useful to look at
the general energy of where weare in a calendar space, right?
It's not going to shift wildlyfrom one day to the next for
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this purpose.
So early March, sit down with apiece of paper.
It doesn't even have to be in apretty journal.
This can be something that youwrite and you spend some time
reflecting on, and then you burnand you have a little ceremony,
have a little bonfire.
Great.
It can be something that you doin a dedicated journal for this
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kind of work.
Also great.
I think the the biggest thing isis really tapping into why we're
doing these things.
Why is because by having theselittle micro exercises, we're a
we're building the muscles tobetter handle when those bigger
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changes and transitions happenso that they feel less scary and
less frustrating, and we'rebetter able to be like, oh, look
at that.
Wow, another change.
Okay.
I've had some practice withthis, right?
I might even be able to findsome fun in exploring this
change and being able to shapesomething from, you know, the
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little bit that we know abouttransitions and what's coming.
There's a lot of room forcreativity, right?
And where can we fit more ofourselves, especially if your
life feels very full and rushed?
Adding in a really simple, easypractice like this pays off big
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time.
And it's it's really just aboutsetting in those reminders and
having that, you know, space tocome and listen to a podcast,
right?
That's what I I do.
I listen in the car, right?
Like driving to pick up, drivingto work, driving, driving,
driving, like bomb life, like umhaving some of that time be
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dedicated to nourishingourselves and being able to
specifically build, you know,it's just like going to the gym.
You work out different muscles,right?
Different muscle groups, andthen everything works together,
of course, right?
This particular practice isabout is about training for
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change and transitions and howwe can do that in a way that
feels great.
Most of the time.
Sometimes the changes happen,they come at us, we're like, ah,
right.
Like, I don't want to.
It's sometimes we don't have achoice, right?
So then that comes into okay,what's needed here and how can I
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use this?
Right.
And being able to lean intothese little things of like, oh,
okay, I'm this is a mini time oftransition right now.
So I'm gonna practice and I'mgonna practice seeing what was
useful and what I want to keep,and then what's coming next, and
you know, what are some coolthings that I want to be
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bringing in in the next coupleof months?
I really love that it breaks itdown into little chunks of time,
and this isn't something that'slike, oh okay, we're getting
like a five-year plan, or like,what are you gonna be doing next
summer, right?
I'm a very probably type C momright to pick a category.
Some things I'm I'm nice in typeA about, and some things I'm
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real type B about, and beingable to have these little small
useful tools just brings me somuch joy because I get to do
something that I know isnourishing myself, and I know
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that I'm getting benefit fromsitting down and being like,
okay, two months, three, youknow, two to three months.
Like, what just went down?
All right, what was awesome?
Okay, great.
And then looking forward oflike, okay, this next little
chunk of time, I could do that,right?
Even when I feel busy andthere's a lot going on, I can
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sit and do this kind of thing,right?
And that helps things to notfeel so hard.
And I think that all of us coulduse some more tools in our lives
that help things feel less hardand perhaps even a little bit
fun.
So, you know, that's what I doin terms, and I'll do that every
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shift.
So I'll do that in March, andI'll do it again in June, and
I'll do it again in the fall,and I do it again in winter.
So there's four times when I dothis practice, and you know,
I've shared the way that I doit.
I there's some nuance to likeI'll bring in different elements
to different seasons, or itdoesn't you don't have to do all
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of that.
I think the simpler the better,honestly.
And if the way that I did itresonates with you and you want
to try that, fantastic.
And perhaps it maybe eveninspired you to think of a new
way that might work for you todo these kinds of things.
And I think that is absolutelyfabulous too.
And if that's true, either way,let me know in the comments.
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I would love to hear how thislanded for you.
And if you'd like to have somemore examples of how we could
human together and find ourpath, our little Tao along the
way, um, in ways that might makethings feel a little bit easier
and perhaps a little bit morefun.
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Until next time.