No. 1 Episode: Divorcing a Narcissist or Borderline? How to Protect Yourself with Bill Eddy on Divorce & Beyond #398

This week on Divorce & Beyond, we are bringing back the number one episode of all time, my conversation with the incomparable Bill Eddy about his groundbreaking book Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

This encore episode is more timely than ever and is also the perfect lead-in to next week’s very special conversation with author Matthew A. Tower and Bill Eddy about Matthew’s new book Love Wars: Clash of the Parents. That episode takes you inside the emotional experience of a child living through a high-conflict divorce. Today’s replay sets the foundation for everything we will discuss next week.

Why This Episode Matters

There is a reason this conversation has remained the most downloaded episode in the history of Divorce and Beyond. Bill Eddy’s insights have helped countless listeners understand what is happening in their high conflict divorce, why the conflict feels impossible to manage, and how to protect themselves and their children from the fallout. If you are facing a high-conflict situation, or if your co-parent has patterns of narcissistic, borderline, or antisocial behavior, this episode will give you the clarity and direction you need.

In this episode you will learn:

• What borderline, narcissistic, and antisocial personality patterns look like during divorce, and why they escalate conflict

• The biggest mistakes people make when trying to “diagnose” or explain their spouse’s behavior

• How to communicate effectively using Bill’s BIFF method (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm)

• Why judges often get high-conflict cases wrong, and what you can do to present your case clearly and effectively

• How to document incidents safely and strategically

• What to expect when divorcing a high-conflict person and how to pace yourself for the long haul

• When mediation works, when it does not, and why preparation matters

• How to stay calm and grounded when your spouse appears calm in court and you do not

• The three biggest patterns you must highlight to the court so your case is understood

• Why support systems, emotional boundaries, and strategic planning are essential for survival

Bill’s wisdom is clear, practical, and actionable. Whether you are preparing for divorce, in the thick of litigation, or co-parenting with a high-conflict ex, this episode gives you tools that truly make a difference.

About Bill Eddy

Bill Eddy is a therapist, lawyer, mediator, and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute. He has authored more than 20 books, including Splitting, BIFF for Co-Parents, and Mediating High Conflict Disputes, and is recognized worldwide as the leading expert on high-conflict personalities and their impact on divorce and family court. He is also one of the most popular and trusted guests in the history of Divorce and Beyond.

A Perfect Lead-in to Next Week

Be sure to tune in next week when Bill joins me again along with author Matthew A. Tower for a powerful new episode unpacking Matthew’s true story of growing up in a high-conflict divorce in Love Wars: Clash of the Parents. It is an unforgettable look at how conflict affects children from the inside.

Resources Mentioned

• Splitting:Second Edition: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill Eddy and Randi Kreger: https://amzn.to/48eSPfu

• High Conflict Institute: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com

• BIFF for Co-Parent Communication by Bill Eddy: https://amzn.to/4iqZ18X

• Mediating High Conflict Disputes  by Bill Eddy: https://amzn.to/4rlQgkD

 

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Meet Our Host

Susan E. Guthrie®, Esq. is one of the nation’s leading family law and mediation experts, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals and families navigate divorce and conflict with clarity and compassion. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resol