August 17, 2026 • 18 mins
#151 What if your partner isn’t rejecting BDSM, they’re rejecting the pressure? Learn why nagging and hinting backfire, how to talk about kink without topping from the bottom, and how to get your partner more engaged in your D/s dynamic. Listen now to learn what actually works.
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
You want your partner to be more into the BDSM
(00:02):
lifestyle.
So you bring it up, you hint,you remind them, and somehow
they seem less interested.
The problem might not be whatyou're asking for, it might be
how you're asking.
And there's a much better way.
Let me show you what it is.
Welcome to the Dom Sub Livingpodcast.
Hey, it's Alessandra, and ifyou're kind of way ahead of your
(00:26):
partner on this kink journey ofyours, maybe they're less
curious, less confident, ormaybe they're not even sure they
want to be on this journey, thendefinitely stick around because
this episode isn't aboutconvincing them.
It's not about tricks ormanipulation or some clever line
that will unlock their kinkpotential like it's a vending
(00:48):
machine.
You probably already know thatnagging doesn't work.
You've probably tried it.
I want to talk about whatactually works instead.
But quick show of hands, so tospeak, even though I can't see
you.
How many of you have done thehint dropping thing with your
partner?
Maybe you left a YouTube videoon your computer screen.
(01:11):
Maybe it was one of mine.
Or maybe you did the reallysuper subtle, oh, I just
happened to be reading thisarticle.
Well, how did that go for you?
Yeah, probably not like youhoped.
Let's talk about why.
But first, I want to namesomething before we go any
farther, because I think a lotof you are feeling it and
(01:35):
nobody's said it out loud yet.
Resentment.
You've got it or you're close toit.
You watch other couples onlinecasually talk about protocols
and scenes and power exchangelike it's nothing.
And you wonder why your partnerwon't even have the conversation
with you.
And on top of resentment, maybeyou're feeling frustration.
(01:58):
You're tired, tired ofexplaining, tired of waiting,
tired of watching your partnerkind of fumble through something
that you've wanted for years.
And underneath both of thoseemotions, resentment and
frustration, you're just feelingunfulfilled.
You have real wants, real needs,and you don't want to be the
(02:19):
person who's constantly askingbecause asking starts to feel
like nagging, and nagging startsto feel like topping from the
bottom.
And now you're stuck betweenstaying quiet and feeling small,
or speaking up and gettingrejected or feeling like a
burden.
Any of this sound familiar?
(02:40):
Well, here's a question for you.
Have you ever snapped at yourpartner over something
completely unrelated, like thedishes or being late or
whatever?
And then later you realize itactually had nothing to do with
the dishes.
That's what happens when youswallow this stuff for months.
(03:00):
It doesn't go away.
It just comes out in otherareas.
So let's talk about why hintingand nagging don't work because
there's actually something goingon here.
You don't just have relationshipbad luck.
When you hint at something overand over or you bring it up to
your partner repeatedly, yourpartner's nervous system doesn't
(03:23):
hear, I want to exploresomething with you.
It hears you're doing somethingwrong again.
And once someone feels likethey're failing at something,
they they don't lean into it,they get defensive, they shut
down because that's just howpeople work when they feel
judged.
I want you to think about yourown relationship for a minute.
(03:47):
Does your partner ever go quietto the point where they kind of
seem disinterested?
Well, what if they really wereinterested?
Maybe they were just nervous orshy.
There's a reason why people actthis way, and we're gonna talk
about it in a little bit becauseonce you see it, you can't unsee
(04:07):
it in your own relationship.
But that brings us to thequestion: what's the real reason
your partner isn't engaging?
Here's how I like to reframe it.
Most partners aren't rejectingkink, they're just rejecting the
uncertainty of it.
It's not that they don't want todo this with you, it's just that
(04:31):
they don't really know what'sinvolved and what's expected of
them, and they're kind of scaredof doing it wrong.
Every time you bring it up, itkind of just centers around what
you want.
And then it kind of just feelslike pressure instead of an
invitation, even though that'snot what you mean at all.
Maybe your partner isn't sayingno to BDSM, they're just saying
(04:54):
no to the way they're beingasked by you.
So let me break this down into afew patterns that I see over and
over with my students becauseyou'll probably recognize your
partner in one of these.
So, number one, first there'sthe partner who's curious, but
they're kind of frozen.
(05:15):
They're interested, likegenuinely interested, but the
moment it gets real, they justkind of freeze because real
feels too high stakes for them.
They don't want to mess up infront of you or look silly.
And then, second, there's thepartner who just doesn't know
what they'd even do in this typeof relationship.
(05:37):
You might think they're justhesitant because they don't want
it when in reality they justdon't have an idea in their head
of what a scene or a dynamiccould actually even look like.
Nobody hands you a manual forany of this.
So they just kind of don't knowwhat to do or even expect from
all of this.
And then third, this one'shonestly a little uncomfortable
(06:00):
to say out loud, but there's thepartner who just kind of assumes
that this is all about you, thatyour wants and needs are kind of
just the main focus, and thatthey're just there for your
benefit.
This one kills a lot of dynamicsbefore they even start because
(06:20):
no one wants to feel like just aprop in someone else's fantasy.
But one more thing before wemove on, because I think this is
really important, but none ofthese three patterns mean that
your partner is broken or thatthey're wrong for you, or that
the two of you are incompatible,or that they're less committed
(06:42):
to the relationship than you.
They're just kind of stuck.
And being stuck isn't the sameas not wanting something.
A lot of you have spent monthstreating stuck like it means no,
and that kind of mix-up iscosting you so much of your time
and happiness.
(07:02):
So, what actually works?
Well, this next part is handsdown the thing my students say
is the biggest turning point.
I'm not gonna give you aword-for-word script.
There are no tricks here, it'sjust a change in the order of
things.
So, before you ask your partnerfor more, show them that you see
(07:25):
what they're already doingright.
Like, when's the last time youtold your partner what they're
already doing well, instead ofjust telling them what you wish
they did more of?
I know that almost sounds toosimple, but trust me on this.
Here's why it works and it's notcomplicated.
People move toward appreciationand they move away from
(07:49):
criticism.
When you're nagging, even ifit's got the the best of
intentions, nagging comes acrossas criticism no matter how you
try to spin it.
So saying, you know, I wishyou'd take more initiative still
will tend to come across asyou're not doing enough, even if
that's not what you meant atall.
(08:10):
But appreciation does theopposite.
It opens a door that criticismwill just slam shut.
Because appreciation is tellingyour partner, I see what you're
doing and I want more of thatfrom you, instead of you're not
doing enough and you need tocatch up.
If you have access to ourpartner transformation toolkit,
(08:34):
we actually share more in detailhow to do it there because
there's a specific way to do itwell.
A lot of people will overdo itand it just kind of sounds fake
and backfires.
But if you do it too little, theperson may not even register it.
Your partner might just nodalong and move on or say thanks.
(08:55):
And so you kind of just lost theopportunity.
So the sweet spot is just beingvery specific and small.
You're not saying, like, oh,you're such an amazing partner.
That's nice, but it would makeme a little suspicious if my Dom
kind of gushed over me like thatand just kind of love bombed me.
(09:16):
So say something like, I reallyloved how you checked in with me
last week without having to ask,or I really like how you
followed through on that taskwithout me having to remind you.
That's specific and it'ssomething that the person can
repeat.
It's tangible, and so that willstick with them.
(09:38):
But say you now want to moveeven farther, how do you
actually start the conversationof wanting more?
So, number one, lead withobservation and not just asking.
You can say, I've noticed, yada,yada, yada, instead of, you
know, I need X, Y, and Z.
(09:58):
Because when you're just sayingwhat you've observed, you're not
putting anyone on the defensive.
And then number two, ask whatthey want before you say what
you want.
This flips the entire dynamic ofthe conversation because you're
not having to convince them ofthis secret agenda you have.
(10:18):
It's more about discovering whattheir needs and wants are.
And then number three, make itreversible.
So, what I mean by this is don'tput any pressure on them to
decide anything on the spot.
If you ask them, like, whatwould you want if this is up to
you?
That'll leave room for them tosay, I don't know.
(10:41):
And that's totally okay.
The point isn't to get aconcrete commitment from them on
that one conversation.
It's just to open the door andleave it open so that they'll
want to have more conversationsin the future.
Okay, so here's somethingimportant that I want you to
(11:02):
keep in mind though.
Getting that first conversationright is maybe only 20% of the
whole picture.
So many of you stress over thatfirst conversation when you
bring it up, but again, that'sjust probably 20% of it.
The other 80% is what happensafterwards because you don't
(11:23):
want to have this perfectconversation and then just
basically screw everything elseup.
That's actually the biggestthing I see go wrong.
And that's what we're going tocover next.
What happens after that initialconversation?
So maybe your partner says,okay, I'm willing to talk about
doing more.
(11:44):
I'm willing to maybe try more.
And then maybe one of two thingshappens.
So, number one, you go too fastand overwhelm them.
Or two, you kind of just goquiet because you kind of just
assume you've done the hard partand then you're just hoping that
they'll kind of take over andthe rest will just figure itself
(12:07):
out.
Because when you get a yes fromyour partner, that's not the
finish line.
It's actually a starting line,but most people treat it like a
finish line.
So, what actually helps here isjust small steps instead of
taking a full plunge intoeverything, regularly checking
(12:27):
in instead of just assumingeverything's fine, continuing to
let your partner set the pace.
Because especially if you're thesub and you've kind of gotten
your partner open to the idea ofbeing a DOM.
Now, if you start directingevery detail and telling them
what to do and how to do it, notonly is that borderline topping
(12:50):
from the bottom, but yourpartner is also going to go back
to feeling like they're justperforming for you instead of
you know building something withyou.
This is the part of the processwhere having a real structure
really helps because you don'tjust want to be winging it.
I mean, after coaching hundredsof students and clients, I've
(13:13):
seen this play out in manydifferent ways.
Someone finally gets theirpartner to say, like, okay,
let's try this.
And then they're so relieved andexcited that they plan this
elaborate scene for that sameweekend.
And the partner who just barelygot comfortable saying yes to
(13:33):
this idea suddenly feels likethey're being signed up for a
performance review.
So it's just too much too fast.
The couples who actually buildsomething lasting that I've
seen, they've almost alwaysstarted smaller than maybe they
originally wanted to, but theyknew to go slow.
(13:54):
Maybe they just started with onesimple rule, or maybe just one
evening, or one little ritual,or one little piece of
equipment.
They haven't built a whole powerexchange dynamic overnight.
And it may feel slow when you'rethe one who's been wanting this
for so long, but it's exactlythe right speed for the person
(14:17):
who's just starting out.
Okay, so now I'm gonna go overthe top question I get when
talking about how to help yourpartner.
Maybe you have this questiontoo, but one of the top
questions I get is what if I'vealready tried all this and it
just didn't work well?
(14:38):
That's totally fair, but here'sthe truth.
It probably didn't work, notbecause of your partner, but
maybe because of your approach.
Whether you like it or not,maybe you were doing a little
bit of nagging or hinting toomuch or trying to lead your
partner in your directioninstead of going at their pace.
(15:00):
Again, don't lead with what youwant and need.
Make it about them and becurious about what they want and
need, like genuinely curious.
They will pick up whether youcare about them or not.
I mean, we already talked aboutwhy that doesn't work, but you
need a different approach, andthat way you'll get a different
(15:20):
result.
And sometimes you also needsomeone looking in from the
outside.
I don't know if you've heardthis analogy, but I I love it so
much.
And it's that you can't read thelabel when you're inside the
bottle.
You need someone else's outsideperspective, someone like a
(15:42):
counselor or a coach or a youknow, Domsa mentor, someone who
can give you some outsideperspective and help give you
some guidance.
Now, if you're a member of ourpartner transformation toolkit
or our all access pass, you haveall of this.
You have the step-by-stepprocess for all of this and what
(16:03):
to do in a lot of differentsituations and scenarios.
We give you the exact scriptsand a full system for how to
follow through with the partsthat most people get wrong.
One of my favorite testimonialsabout this course is from
Nicole, and she said the coursewas really helpful for
(16:24):
perspective on both sides.
She says, I recommend checkingit out and having your partner
watch it too.
It's a good stepping stone toget back on track or at least
take a few steps in the rightdirection to both get what you
want and need.
And then I also had a studentnamed Matthew who he said the
workshop was amazing.
It really set us up for successand it gave me a clear path to
(16:48):
help facilitate our steps inthis journey.
What I like the most was theopen, honest environment
Alessandra provided.
I absolutely recommend thisworkshop.
So, you know, I love all of ourstudents inside our courses, but
I get emails all the time frompeople who say some version of
the same thing.
(17:08):
I wish I found this two yearsago, or I can't believe how much
I overcomplicated this.
It wasn't because they were in abad relationship.
It's just because nobody evertaught them a structure for
having these types ofconversations.
A lot of people have to figurethis out with zero roadmap and
(17:28):
they just kind of make it up asthey go along.
And then they wonder why itfeels so hard and it's not
working.
It's hard and it's not workingbecause you're improvising
something that actually has aproven workable framework.
You just hadn't had access to ityet.
So if you do want the wholesystem, it's at
(17:48):
domsupliving.com/slash toolkit.
The link is in the show notestoo.
You can grab it now while it'sat its current price before it
goes up.
Because if you've been wantingmore from your partner, you
don't need to wait another monthor another year or maybe even
another decade.
You just need the right approachand the right support.
(18:11):
And now you've got it.
So go easy on yourself if thisdidn't click into place in just
one episode.
It's a process and a journey.
It's not a switch, but it doeswork.
So let me know how it works outfor you and your partner.
And until next time, keepembracing your power and
pleasure through Dom Sub Living.
You want your partner to be more into the BDSM
(00:02):
lifestyle.
So you bring it up, you hint,you remind them, and somehow
they seem less interested.
The problem might not be whatyou're asking for, it might be
how you're asking.
And there's a much better way.
Let me show you what it is.
Welcome to the Dom Sub Livingpodcast.
Hey, it's Alessandra, and ifyou're kind of way ahead of your
(00:26):
partner on this kink journey ofyours, maybe they're less
curious, less confident, ormaybe they're not even sure they
want to be on this journey, thendefinitely stick around because
this episode isn't aboutconvincing them.
It's not about tricks ormanipulation or some clever line
that will unlock their kinkpotential like it's a vending
(00:48):
machine.
You probably already know thatnagging doesn't work.
You've probably tried it.
I want to talk about whatactually works instead.
But quick show of hands, so tospeak, even though I can't see
you.
How many of you have done thehint dropping thing with your
partner?
Maybe you left a YouTube videoon your computer screen.
(01:11):
Maybe it was one of mine.
Or maybe you did the reallysuper subtle, oh, I just
happened to be reading thisarticle.
Well, how did that go for you?
Yeah, probably not like youhoped.
Let's talk about why.
But first, I want to namesomething before we go any
farther, because I think a lotof you are feeling it and
(01:35):
nobody's said it out loud yet.
Resentment.
You've got it or you're close toit.
You watch other couples onlinecasually talk about protocols
and scenes and power exchangelike it's nothing.
And you wonder why your partnerwon't even have the conversation
with you.
And on top of resentment, maybeyou're feeling frustration.
(01:58):
You're tired, tired ofexplaining, tired of waiting,
tired of watching your partnerkind of fumble through something
that you've wanted for years.
And underneath both of thoseemotions, resentment and
frustration, you're just feelingunfulfilled.
You have real wants, real needs,and you don't want to be the
(02:19):
person who's constantly askingbecause asking starts to feel
like nagging, and nagging startsto feel like topping from the
bottom.
And now you're stuck betweenstaying quiet and feeling small,
or speaking up and gettingrejected or feeling like a
burden.
Any of this sound familiar?
(02:40):
Well, here's a question for you.
Have you ever snapped at yourpartner over something
completely unrelated, like thedishes or being late or
whatever?
And then later you realize itactually had nothing to do with
the dishes.
That's what happens when youswallow this stuff for months.
(03:00):
It doesn't go away.
It just comes out in otherareas.
So let's talk about why hintingand nagging don't work because
there's actually something goingon here.
You don't just have relationshipbad luck.
When you hint at something overand over or you bring it up to
your partner repeatedly, yourpartner's nervous system doesn't
(03:23):
hear, I want to exploresomething with you.
It hears you're doing somethingwrong again.
And once someone feels likethey're failing at something,
they they don't lean into it,they get defensive, they shut
down because that's just howpeople work when they feel
judged.
I want you to think about yourown relationship for a minute.
(03:47):
Does your partner ever go quietto the point where they kind of
seem disinterested?
Well, what if they really wereinterested?
Maybe they were just nervous orshy.
There's a reason why people actthis way, and we're gonna talk
about it in a little bit becauseonce you see it, you can't unsee
(04:07):
it in your own relationship.
But that brings us to thequestion: what's the real reason
your partner isn't engaging?
Here's how I like to reframe it.
Most partners aren't rejectingkink, they're just rejecting the
uncertainty of it.
It's not that they don't want todo this with you, it's just that
(04:31):
they don't really know what'sinvolved and what's expected of
them, and they're kind of scaredof doing it wrong.
Every time you bring it up, itkind of just centers around what
you want.
And then it kind of just feelslike pressure instead of an
invitation, even though that'snot what you mean at all.
Maybe your partner isn't sayingno to BDSM, they're just saying
(04:54):
no to the way they're beingasked by you.
So let me break this down into afew patterns that I see over and
over with my students becauseyou'll probably recognize your
partner in one of these.
So, number one, first there'sthe partner who's curious, but
they're kind of frozen.
(05:15):
They're interested, likegenuinely interested, but the
moment it gets real, they justkind of freeze because real
feels too high stakes for them.
They don't want to mess up infront of you or look silly.
And then, second, there's thepartner who just doesn't know
what they'd even do in this typeof relationship.
(05:37):
You might think they're justhesitant because they don't want
it when in reality they justdon't have an idea in their head
of what a scene or a dynamiccould actually even look like.
Nobody hands you a manual forany of this.
So they just kind of don't knowwhat to do or even expect from
all of this.
And then third, this one'shonestly a little uncomfortable
(06:00):
to say out loud, but there's thepartner who just kind of assumes
that this is all about you, thatyour wants and needs are kind of
just the main focus, and thatthey're just there for your
benefit.
This one kills a lot of dynamicsbefore they even start because
(06:20):
no one wants to feel like just aprop in someone else's fantasy.
But one more thing before wemove on, because I think this is
really important, but none ofthese three patterns mean that
your partner is broken or thatthey're wrong for you, or that
the two of you are incompatible,or that they're less committed
(06:42):
to the relationship than you.
They're just kind of stuck.
And being stuck isn't the sameas not wanting something.
A lot of you have spent monthstreating stuck like it means no,
and that kind of mix-up iscosting you so much of your time
and happiness.
(07:02):
So, what actually works?
Well, this next part is handsdown the thing my students say
is the biggest turning point.
I'm not gonna give you aword-for-word script.
There are no tricks here, it'sjust a change in the order of
things.
So, before you ask your partnerfor more, show them that you see
(07:25):
what they're already doingright.
Like, when's the last time youtold your partner what they're
already doing well, instead ofjust telling them what you wish
they did more of?
I know that almost sounds toosimple, but trust me on this.
Here's why it works and it's notcomplicated.
People move toward appreciationand they move away from
(07:49):
criticism.
When you're nagging, even ifit's got the the best of
intentions, nagging comes acrossas criticism no matter how you
try to spin it.
So saying, you know, I wishyou'd take more initiative still
will tend to come across asyou're not doing enough, even if
that's not what you meant atall.
(08:10):
But appreciation does theopposite.
It opens a door that criticismwill just slam shut.
Because appreciation is tellingyour partner, I see what you're
doing and I want more of thatfrom you, instead of you're not
doing enough and you need tocatch up.
If you have access to ourpartner transformation toolkit,
(08:34):
we actually share more in detailhow to do it there because
there's a specific way to do itwell.
A lot of people will overdo itand it just kind of sounds fake
and backfires.
But if you do it too little, theperson may not even register it.
Your partner might just nodalong and move on or say thanks.
(08:55):
And so you kind of just lost theopportunity.
So the sweet spot is just beingvery specific and small.
You're not saying, like, oh,you're such an amazing partner.
That's nice, but it would makeme a little suspicious if my Dom
kind of gushed over me like thatand just kind of love bombed me.
(09:16):
So say something like, I reallyloved how you checked in with me
last week without having to ask,or I really like how you
followed through on that taskwithout me having to remind you.
That's specific and it'ssomething that the person can
repeat.
It's tangible, and so that willstick with them.
(09:38):
But say you now want to moveeven farther, how do you
actually start the conversationof wanting more?
So, number one, lead withobservation and not just asking.
You can say, I've noticed, yada,yada, yada, instead of, you
know, I need X, Y, and Z.
(09:58):
Because when you're just sayingwhat you've observed, you're not
putting anyone on the defensive.
And then number two, ask whatthey want before you say what
you want.
This flips the entire dynamic ofthe conversation because you're
not having to convince them ofthis secret agenda you have.
(10:18):
It's more about discovering whattheir needs and wants are.
And then number three, make itreversible.
So, what I mean by this is don'tput any pressure on them to
decide anything on the spot.
If you ask them, like, whatwould you want if this is up to
you?
That'll leave room for them tosay, I don't know.
(10:41):
And that's totally okay.
The point isn't to get aconcrete commitment from them on
that one conversation.
It's just to open the door andleave it open so that they'll
want to have more conversationsin the future.
Okay, so here's somethingimportant that I want you to
(11:02):
keep in mind though.
Getting that first conversationright is maybe only 20% of the
whole picture.
So many of you stress over thatfirst conversation when you
bring it up, but again, that'sjust probably 20% of it.
The other 80% is what happensafterwards because you don't
(11:23):
want to have this perfectconversation and then just
basically screw everything elseup.
That's actually the biggestthing I see go wrong.
And that's what we're going tocover next.
What happens after that initialconversation?
So maybe your partner says,okay, I'm willing to talk about
doing more.
(11:44):
I'm willing to maybe try more.
And then maybe one of two thingshappens.
So, number one, you go too fastand overwhelm them.
Or two, you kind of just goquiet because you kind of just
assume you've done the hard partand then you're just hoping that
they'll kind of take over andthe rest will just figure itself
(12:07):
out.
Because when you get a yes fromyour partner, that's not the
finish line.
It's actually a starting line,but most people treat it like a
finish line.
So, what actually helps here isjust small steps instead of
taking a full plunge intoeverything, regularly checking
(12:27):
in instead of just assumingeverything's fine, continuing to
let your partner set the pace.
Because especially if you're thesub and you've kind of gotten
your partner open to the idea ofbeing a DOM.
Now, if you start directingevery detail and telling them
what to do and how to do it, notonly is that borderline topping
(12:50):
from the bottom, but yourpartner is also going to go back
to feeling like they're justperforming for you instead of
you know building something withyou.
This is the part of the processwhere having a real structure
really helps because you don'tjust want to be winging it.
I mean, after coaching hundredsof students and clients, I've
(13:13):
seen this play out in manydifferent ways.
Someone finally gets theirpartner to say, like, okay,
let's try this.
And then they're so relieved andexcited that they plan this
elaborate scene for that sameweekend.
And the partner who just barelygot comfortable saying yes to
(13:33):
this idea suddenly feels likethey're being signed up for a
performance review.
So it's just too much too fast.
The couples who actually buildsomething lasting that I've
seen, they've almost alwaysstarted smaller than maybe they
originally wanted to, but theyknew to go slow.
(13:54):
Maybe they just started with onesimple rule, or maybe just one
evening, or one little ritual,or one little piece of
equipment.
They haven't built a whole powerexchange dynamic overnight.
And it may feel slow when you'rethe one who's been wanting this
for so long, but it's exactlythe right speed for the person
(14:17):
who's just starting out.
Okay, so now I'm gonna go overthe top question I get when
talking about how to help yourpartner.
Maybe you have this questiontoo, but one of the top
questions I get is what if I'vealready tried all this and it
just didn't work well?
(14:38):
That's totally fair, but here'sthe truth.
It probably didn't work, notbecause of your partner, but
maybe because of your approach.
Whether you like it or not,maybe you were doing a little
bit of nagging or hinting toomuch or trying to lead your
partner in your directioninstead of going at their pace.
(15:00):
Again, don't lead with what youwant and need.
Make it about them and becurious about what they want and
need, like genuinely curious.
They will pick up whether youcare about them or not.
I mean, we already talked aboutwhy that doesn't work, but you
need a different approach, andthat way you'll get a different
(15:20):
result.
And sometimes you also needsomeone looking in from the
outside.
I don't know if you've heardthis analogy, but I I love it so
much.
And it's that you can't read thelabel when you're inside the
bottle.
You need someone else's outsideperspective, someone like a
(15:42):
counselor or a coach or a youknow, Domsa mentor, someone who
can give you some outsideperspective and help give you
some guidance.
Now, if you're a member of ourpartner transformation toolkit
or our all access pass, you haveall of this.
You have the step-by-stepprocess for all of this and what
(16:03):
to do in a lot of differentsituations and scenarios.
We give you the exact scriptsand a full system for how to
follow through with the partsthat most people get wrong.
One of my favorite testimonialsabout this course is from
Nicole, and she said the coursewas really helpful for
(16:24):
perspective on both sides.
She says, I recommend checkingit out and having your partner
watch it too.
It's a good stepping stone toget back on track or at least
take a few steps in the rightdirection to both get what you
want and need.
And then I also had a studentnamed Matthew who he said the
workshop was amazing.
It really set us up for successand it gave me a clear path to
(16:48):
help facilitate our steps inthis journey.
What I like the most was theopen, honest environment
Alessandra provided.
I absolutely recommend thisworkshop.
So, you know, I love all of ourstudents inside our courses, but
I get emails all the time frompeople who say some version of
the same thing.
(17:08):
I wish I found this two yearsago, or I can't believe how much
I overcomplicated this.
It wasn't because they were in abad relationship.
It's just because nobody evertaught them a structure for
having these types ofconversations.
A lot of people have to figurethis out with zero roadmap and
(17:28):
they just kind of make it up asthey go along.
And then they wonder why itfeels so hard and it's not
working.
It's hard and it's not workingbecause you're improvising
something that actually has aproven workable framework.
You just hadn't had access to ityet.
So if you do want the wholesystem, it's at
(17:48):
domsupliving.com/slash toolkit.
The link is in the show notestoo.
You can grab it now while it'sat its current price before it
goes up.
Because if you've been wantingmore from your partner, you
don't need to wait another monthor another year or maybe even
another decade.
You just need the right approachand the right support.
(18:11):
And now you've got it.
So go easy on yourself if thisdidn't click into place in just
one episode.
It's a process and a journey.
It's not a switch, but it doeswork.
So let me know how it works outfor you and your partner.
And until next time, keepembracing your power and
pleasure through Dom Sub Living.
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