Episode Transcript
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Dana Baltutis (00:01):
Hi, parents and
listeners, welcome to the
Empowered Parent Podcast.
Today, instead of interviewingsomeone, I will be telling you
my story, why I'm hosting thispodcast and how I came to be.
It's important that you knowthe host of this podcast because
(00:24):
I do have a lot of networks andconnections in the community
that I like to bring on asguests.
But also I have my story toshare and I hope my story helps
families, parents and others.
I was adopted at two months ofage, so the whole idea of
(00:46):
parenting fascinated me fromthat perspective, whereby two
wonderful, compassionate, givingand loving people, my parents,
adopted me and raised me liketheir own child, not being able
to conceive children themselves.
They were of Lithuanian originI say were because both have
(01:08):
passed away now and so my wholelife I was raised as a
Lithuanian, an AustralianLithuanian.
My parents were World War IIrefugees and had both escaped
the Soviet Union occupation orRussia's occupation of Lithuania
during World War II and finallysettled in Australia.
(01:31):
My parents met in Australia,got married and established
their home in Adelaide.
As a child, from when I canremember, I attended all sorts
of Lithuanian activitiesLithuanian kindergarten and
school, participated inLithuanian folk, dancing,
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singing, scouts, theatre.
I represented the AustralianLithuanian youth at various
local, national andinternational festivals, and I
was privileged because myLithuanian background meant I
was able to travel and see theworld and meet other Lithuanians
.
My parents exposed me to somany different experiences, as
(02:16):
did the Lithuanian community.
These experiences have enabledme to become the person I am
today, have enabled me to becomethe person I am today, but in
my mind I always thought whatmust it be like for my parents
being part of a small communitywhere everybody knows each
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other's business and take on theparenting role of a child?
They had no idea about, that is, they didn't know anything
about my genetics, my backgroundand what the future would bring
for me and for them.
That was a big risk, but theydid it, like all parents, I
guess.
I remember mum telling me shewould be always looking over her
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shoulder to make sure nobodywould come and take me away.
Can you imagine how stressfulthat would have been for her?
For this reason and the traumaof World War II, mum was an
anxious mum and also very lovingand caring.
I grew up with some of thisanxiety myself and later, when I
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understood what it was, laterwhen I understood what it was
seeked professional help tounravel where it came from.
I still live with anxiety, butit is controlled as I seek
regular professional support.
This is why the area of anxietyand parenting really interests
me, because when we have anxietyas adults, we can relay that to
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our children.
It's really, really importantto reflect on ourselves and
start looking deep and startworking on our calmness.
I always thought myself veryblessed and lucky because I had
wonderful parents, strict andhaving high expectations and
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very loving, compassionate andcaring.
I also used to think what itwas like for children who don't
have parents.
I remember as a child all thechildren from the street would
be at our place playing.
Mum would make pizza for all ofthem and welcome them until the
late hours of the evening.
I got married quite late in mylife and didn't have the fortune
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of having children, butchildren have always been a part
of my life, either in theLithuanian community or as part
of my work.
I have children in my lifeevery day, and their parents and
their grandparents and theiraunts and uncles and siblings.
I graduated as a speechpathologist and worked in
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Adelaide, south Australia, forabout a year, and then I
ventured overseas to work inLithuania.
This is where I learned so muchabout the power of parents.
Lithuania was just shedding itsSoviet cloak and became a free
nation, but neurodiversechildren in Lithuania were still
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institutionalized in largeinstitutions, away from the eyes
of the public, away from anycity.
They were extremely isolated.
I remember visiting one of theinstitutions where children were
tied up to wooden benches withrags.
They had physical deformitiesin their legs and arms because
of the movement restrictions.
An older, more ambulant childwas administering the sedatives
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to the children on theinstructions of the carers.
There All carers were dressedin white lab coats.
The smell of urine was sostrong I could feel it in the
back of my throat.
I remember walking through theinstitution thinking what is
going on here?
The parents who took me to theinstitution wanted me to see how
(06:05):
the Soviet Union took carequote unquote of their
neurodivergent children.
From then on, I vowed to workwith parents and I joined a
not-for-profit organization inLithuania called Viltis, or Hope
in English, and we worked toestablish community centers and
schools in the larger cities inLithuania.
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I worked with AustralianLithuanians as well as
professionals from Australia,including a toy librarian and an
occupational therapist.
In the early 1990s, the toylibrarian, Kathy Sampson,
collected so many toys here inAustralia and together we set up
the first toy library in thewhat is now ex-Soviet Union.
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This was set up at the LivingSkills Centre, a centre for
children with disabilities.
This centre I helped createwith the help of donations from
Australian Lithuanians.
This was one of the first ofits kind in Lithuania and in the
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entire Soviet bloc.
That is, the toy library aswell as the centre.
By attending the Living SkillsCentre, this meant that the
children did not have to leavetheir homes and go live in these
isolated institutions.
Kylie, an occupationaltherapist from Adelaide,
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australia, worked with myselfand the Living Skills Centre to
establish the first customisedwheelchair clinic in Lithuania
first customized wheelchairclinic in Lithuania.
Up to then, children did nothave wheelchairs.
Parents just made sort of likeprams from wood.
(08:00):
Kylie's clinic fitted thewheelchairs and measured them to
each of the children withdisabilities.
They were also made from wood,but they were extremely
well-crafted.
Kylie worked with a Britishcharity called Motivation.
Motivation did a lot of thiswork all over the world in
developing countries.
(08:21):
Back then Lithuania was lookedat as a developing country.
The Living Skills Centre inVilnius, the capital of
Lithuania, also had the firstreversed integration class in
Lithuania and the Soviet Union.
This is where neurotypical,quote-unquote children were able
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to attend with theneurodivergent children.
In the 1990s there were verylimited resources for all
children, so all children wantedto attend the Living Skills
Centre.
It was a great initiative bythe then-director, Augiene
Viluniene.
Again, the parent organisationViltis or Hope was the driver
(09:07):
for all this change.
This is where I learnt more andmore about the power of parents
, and when you put your mind toit, then something can be done.
Change can happen.
After Lithuania, I was luckyenough to gain the Edward Dunlop
Award or Winley Award for mywork in Lithuania.
(09:34):
I was lucky enough to gain theEdward Dunlop Award or win the
award for my work in Lithuaniaand use the money to do a
master's degree in disabilitystudies in London.
My thesis was a research studyabout parent thoughts in
Lithuania.
I wanted to know what drove theparents to make these changes,
wanted to know what drove theparents to make these changes.
Parents carried a belief inthemselves and their child and,
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against all odds, that is,having grown up and being raised
in a Soviet country, they stillhad a dream for a better future
, which they made happen.
When I came back to Australia.
After living in Lithuania forseven years and working with
parents there, I wanted tocontinue working with parents of
neurodiverse children, but theenergy was different.
Here.
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People were more concerned ofnot how can I form a community
to make things happen, but whatcan I get from the community for
myself and my child?
I wanted to learn more aboutthis capitalist culture, if you
like.
So I immersed myself into theculture of New York City.
(10:38):
This was the complete oppositeof Lithuania.
I lived in New York City forfour years and started to
understand what money andgovernment funding can get
neurodiverse children.
I worked as a speechpathologist where each child was
mandated by the government forfour speech pathology sessions a
(11:03):
week.
Speech pathology sessions aweek.
This was paid by the insurancecompanies.
I remember not knowing what todo after having worked in
Adelaide, just being able tooffer a finite amount of
sessions to children each monththrough the government system.
In New York, I learned aboutintense therapy and again
working with parents to supporttheir children, tense therapy
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and again working with parentsto support their children.
I honed my skills not only as aspeech pathologist but also as
a parent coach.
When I came back to Australia, Iresumed working in the
government system and alsoworked for an occupational
therapy practice in the city.
There I learned more about thewhole body and how it impacts
children's regulation,communication and ability to
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play and socialize.
After working there for about ayear I started studying DIR,
floor time, which is arelationship-based approach to
working with neurodiversechildren.
I then established my ownpractice and continued working
for the South Australiangovernment in early intervention
(12:13):
or with young children.
Again, most of my work was withparents being in the room while
I worked with their childrenand their relationship with
their parents with theirchildren and their relationship
with their parents.
My whole work was based onsupporting parents to understand
their children's and their ownindividual differences and how
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to interact, communicate andplay with their children, how to
relate with each other.
My life must go in sevensbecause I did this for seven
years out of the back of myparents' place in Adelaide,
south Australia.
From this little room so manynew projects emerged.
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I became the first DIRfloor-time certified speech
pathologist in Australia.
Michelle Ricamato, who is a DIRfloor-time speech pathologist
from the USA, came and workedalongside me for a couple of
weeks at a time, consultingparents and growing their
knowledge and skills in the areaof supporting themselves and
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their children.
In that room, thenot-for-profit organization
Parents for Kids was born.
For organisation Parents forKids was born.
This was a group of mums whogot together and made a DVD
about how to best help theirchildren, working from a DIR
floor time approach or arelationship-based approach.
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Georgina Ahrens, a DIR floortime, certified occupational
therapist, visited often fromSydney and consulted parents to
support their children.
These were the days before NDIS.
By the way, this DVD DIRFloortime and Parents is still
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available in all the locallibraries today in South
Australia.
As the parent community grew, Ifelt I needed a bigger space to
work from, but something similarto what I had to resemble a
home-like clinic where bothchildren and parents felt safe.
I remember parents telling methey liked the room that I
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worked from at the back of myparents' house, because it was
at the back of a house with agarden, it had a gate and it was
like visiting friends and notgoing into a clinic.
As with everything thathappened in my life, I imagined
a space like a home and itappeared.
My husband Craig's parents weremoved out of their home and I
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remember thinking or theyweren't moved, they were moving
out of their home and I rememberthinking, or they weren't moved
.
They were moving out of theirhome and I remember thinking
this would be an amazing spacefor children and their families
because it looked and felt likea cosy, welcoming home.
It had many fun places and ithad a lot of potential.
It had many fun nook andcrannies.
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It had many fun nook andcrannies.
Craig and I somehow scrambled upthe money and bought the house
from them.
We then rented it out for ayear because we needed to get
finances together to renovatethat house so it would be a
great place for parents andtheir children to come.
We put up inside wooden beamsso we could hang swings.
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Redid the whole kitchen soparents and children could use
the kitchen.
Redid the waiting room soparents could watch their
children play in the backyardwhile they waited.
We redid the backyard and addeda trampoline, cubby house and
sandpit.
In later years we added agarden room and a playroom and a
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staff lunch area.
Fencing and gates were of theutmost importance so parents
would feel comfortable becausetheir children were safe.
We then rezoned my TherapyHouse to consulting rooms.
The name my Therapy House camefrom my husband, craig, who
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stated that it's not just aboutthe children's therapy but also
about parent therapy.
In fact, my therapy house istherapeutic for all who visit
and work here.
It has a positive, can-do, funvibe, full of compassion,
connection and love Exactly thetype of space I imagine to be
working in with people I respectand treasure.
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We have built a great community.
I worked on the floor withchildren and parents for about
seven years at my therapy houseand trained a wonderful team to
continue the work.
My love has always been inworking with parents because I
believe if we work with theparents then we work with the
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children twofold, because theparents are the constant in the
child's life.
Right now at my therapy house,all the therapists are trained
to work not only with childrenbut also with parents.
The training programs MyTherapy House uses are the Hanen
programs, DIR FloortimeDevelopment Through Play, Play
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Therapy and Karen Stagnitti'sPlay program.
My Therapy House also has anamazing community worker,
Isabela, whose role it is toensure parents understand the
children's goals and communicatewith them around their
schedules and therapy programs.
Christie works for parents inthe back office, updating all of
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my therapy house qualityassurance processes.
So my therapy house is highlyregulated against the NDIS
standards and Australian ServiceExcellence Standards.
Against the NDIS standards andAustralian Service Excellence
Standards.
Therefore, we are able to alsotake agency-managed NDIS clients
.
My therapy house now has bestpractice against the family
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module, which the auditors toldus was a rare feat, and this is
what my goal always was toestablish a best practice
quality service for parents andchildren which now runs on its
own.
Now I'm still working withchildren and I have become a
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neurolinguistic programmingpractitioner, a coach, where I
can not only use my speechpathology skills but also my NLP
or neuro linguistic programmingskills to support parents, to
support themselves, for which,in turn, will support their
children.
I have always believed that byempowering parents I empower the
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children.
So many parents I work witharen't even aware of how skilled
and amazing they are.
Navigating through theneurodiverse world.
It's not easy.
Neurodivergent children are alldifferent.
They require differentparenting skills, more
specialized parenting skills.
It's often hard for parents tofind the right resources or the
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right therapists.
This is why I wrote an e-bookcalled your Child's Therapy
Journey for parents juststarting to navigate through the
NDIS process, but that'sanother podcast altogether.
You can find the book underFamily Resources on the my
Therapy House page.
(19:32):
As a parent coach and havingworked with so many parents who
are now empowered champions fortheir children and understand
their children's and their ownprofiles and how to best help
their children, I wanted tocapture their stories and their
advice and recommendations forother parents who are just
starting this journey with theirneurodivergent child.
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Hence the podcast the EmpoweredParent with Dana Baltudis was
born.
So far, we have heard from arange of parents and people
who've had different experiencesof stories working with
children and families to helpfamilies.
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It's so important to learn moreabout yourself.
It's important to celebrateyourself as a parent and
celebrate your child'sachievements.
It doesn't matter how big orsmall they are.
It's so important for parentsto look after themselves, so
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important to take time out ofthe busy schedule and just have
time for you.
In all the podcasts, in all theepisodes that I have
interviewed, all of them saythat the most important person
is the parent and they reallyneed to look after themselves.
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When I was doing the NLPtraining, I thought, wow, if
every parent could have accessto this training, that would be
amazing, because it opens up ourminds to what is possible.
It helps us break down barriersand limiting beliefs and
decisions.
For example, when parents thinkmy autistic child won't ever
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talk, that means they might notbe who they can be in life.
No, my child is autistic, whichmeans he is neurodivergent,
which means he has so manyspecial attributes, skills and
talents which embellish thecommunity.
I heard someone talk about thedifferent language of children
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the other day.
All children have differentlanguage systems.
Some children talk, somechildren communicate with
talkers, some childrencommunicate through art, through
movement, through music,through play.
These are all languages that,if only we learn, we can
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actually connect and communicatewith our children, with our
children.
We are a tapestry of colours,not a tapestry of black and
white.
I strongly believe if we believein the children we live and
work with, then they willblossom to become the best they
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can be.
But first of all, first of all,we need to believe in ourselves
.
First of all, we need tobelieve in ourselves, parents,
to believe in themselves asparents for their child, who has
chosen them to be their parentin this lifetime, who has
brought with them so manyteaching or aha moments for the
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parent in this lifetime.
An aha moment is when we lookat something and we go oh, is
that what that is, or is thatwhat my lesson is?
We call that aha moments, andlet's learn to listen, be aware
of and observe.
What is this teaching moment?
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What is the child teaching us?
What am I learning?
Take time out to reflect onyourself.
By listening to the subtletiesof our children's lessons, we
will grow into the parents weare destined to be.
I hope that's helped peopleunderstand who I am and what
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drives me to work with parents,to coach parents, to coach
therapists, to coach parents, tocoach parents to work with
children.
Children are the center ofeverything and we, as adults, we
are the community that formsaround the children, so it's
really important to look afterour mental, physical, emotional,
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spiritual well-being.
If you'd like to learn moreabout yourself, if you'd like to
come on a journey of discoveryabout yourself, please contact
me via my website,dhanabaltudiscom, and join me on
the six-week Empowered ParentProgram.
(24:13):
Thanks for listening and happyparenting.
You are amazing.