January 29, 2026 • 27 mins
We move from frozen pumps and calves in the shop to the deeper work of turning a family farm into a disciplined business with clear roles, healthy boundaries, and a resilient plan. Markets are tough, margins are thin, and we choose structure, community, and courage over constant crisis.
• cold snap stories and calving wins
• market report fallout and cash flow choices
• phones ringing and carving quiet time
• treating the farm like a business
• marketing plans, budgeting, and systems
• redefining roles and dropping old scripts
• boundaries that protect focus and energy
• adaptability without living in crisis mode
• equipment costs, debt, and cooperation
• community over competition for resilience
• stepping into a new identity with purpose
• inviting audacious dreams into the calendar
Send me an email. I'd love to hear them. farmersgreatestasset@gmail.com. Tell us what new chapter you're starting. Even if it's just to put it on paper somewhere, make that first step into existence.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:14):
The Farmer's Greatest Asset Podcast.
We believe the Farm's GreatestAsset is the Farmer.
Their knowledge, experience,mind, and health.
SPEAKER_02 (00:36):
Well, welcome to the podcast.
I'm Jesse.
SPEAKER_04 (00:38):
And I'm Dr.
Leah.
SPEAKER_02 (00:41):
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening.
Wherever and whenever you'relistening to the podcast,
welcome back.
It is still January.
It's still a little cold in theMidwest.
SPEAKER_04 (00:54):
A little.
I think it's frigid.
SPEAKER_02 (00:57):
Definitely cold.
SPEAKER_04 (00:58):
I miss 50 already.
I mean, I'm glad that we got thedeep frost, so our insect
pressure won't be so high.
SPEAKER_02 (01:09):
I think now we do have a pretty decent freeze.
SPEAKER_04 (01:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (01:12):
Got some tillage and some bug control going on out
there.
SPEAKER_04 (01:15):
Our well fro our well pump froze or whatever.
So I'm I'm sure we're good.
SPEAKER_03 (01:21):
I I usually use that as my gauge.
If it gets that deep that wehave to go thaw out the well,
then I think we're pretty good.
SPEAKER_01 (01:30):
It's a pretty deep gauge, actually.
SPEAKER_04 (01:32):
So that happened last week.
Uh a couple of days.
It's nice to have teenagers thatcan go and take care of that for
you.
Yes, it is.
Thank you, Lucy and Henry.
SPEAKER_02 (01:44):
Lizzie too.
SPEAKER_04 (01:45):
And Lizzie, yes.
SPEAKER_02 (01:47):
So we got the cows calved and out of the shop,
finally.
SPEAKER_04 (01:54):
I think it's it's so funny because it was your idea.
I know.
But from the moment they were inthere, it drove you bonkers.
SPEAKER_03 (02:06):
Yeah.
It was just like, oh, it stinksso bad.
I'm like, they're cows.
Like, what did you expect?
SPEAKER_02 (02:15):
Well, the smell doesn't necessarily bother me,
but it made the shop smell andthe office because it's attached
to the shop.
And the humidity is what reallyirritated me.
Just three cows in there createsso much humidity, and then they
have a calf, and then that wholewater bag, and there's just so
(02:36):
much humidity.
Like it was raining in the shop.
Humidity.
But we got three calves, nicecalves out of it.
They all had them on their own.
So kept them out of cold andsaved the ears and the tails.
SPEAKER_04 (02:53):
And they look really healthy.
SPEAKER_02 (02:56):
Yeah, they look good.
SPEAKER_04 (02:57):
They're jumping around and frisky.
SPEAKER_02 (03:00):
This is Henry's little lucky strike, I guess,
right?
He got bought three embryos andall three stuck.
One was supposed to be a heiferand it turned out to be a bull,
but that's how it goes.
SPEAKER_04 (03:14):
So of course, the only, you know, baldy was the
bull calf.
SPEAKER_02 (03:20):
He was praying for a baldy, and it's not even a
full-face baldy, it's just alittle white stripe.
They're good calves.
SPEAKER_04 (03:26):
Yeah.
They're nice, solid calves andlook doing well.
I think the not the funniestthing, but we got to the point
where it was time for them tohave calves, and Henry got sick.
It fell on mom and dad.
SPEAKER_02 (03:44):
Yes, it did.
SPEAKER_04 (03:45):
That's okay.
Let me go back to my OB roots.
SPEAKER_02 (03:49):
Yeah, you even, I let you check them.
It's like you got smaller handsand arms than me.
Worked out better.
SPEAKER_04 (03:56):
I also, I think, have a little more patience and
compassion with checks.
SPEAKER_02 (04:03):
I don't know what you're talking about.
Oh, but that's all good.
My fall cows will calve out thisfall when it's nice out, we
won't have to put them in theshop.
SPEAKER_04 (04:19):
Oh, don't worry.
Henry will have more embryos putin and it'll be.
SPEAKER_02 (04:25):
Yeah.
It's all right.
He's getting his little projectstarted, so yeah.
All is good.
SPEAKER_04 (04:30):
It is good.
But the the weather could changeat any point.
I'd be happy with that.
But I think February, they'resaying is supposed to be really
cold.
SPEAKER_02 (04:42):
Next week here, they're talking 30 for a high.
So to me, that's perfect.
Let the ground stay frozen.
SPEAKER_04 (04:49):
And it's not muddy.
SPEAKER_02 (04:50):
Get our grain bags picked up.
unknown (04:52):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (04:54):
It is time.
We have a lot of grain to gethauled.
And much to our dismay, thatreport did not swing the way we
wanted it to.
And yeah, I don't even know ifwe talk about that.
SPEAKER_02 (05:05):
I mean, that's been that horse is dead, right?
Everybody's talked about it, andI think we all know what's going
on there.
SPEAKER_04 (05:11):
But well, we don't have to talk about that, but we
do need to get some grainhauled.
SPEAKER_02 (05:16):
Right.
Get some grain gone and pay somebills.
SPEAKER_04 (05:22):
Yeah.
So well, all the upcominginputs.
SPEAKER_02 (05:27):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (05:28):
Get some discounts.
SPEAKER_02 (05:31):
Tis the season.
They're all calling.
SPEAKER_04 (05:35):
I'm glad they call you.
My phone is relatively quiet.
SPEAKER_02 (05:40):
My phone's nonstop.
SPEAKER_04 (05:42):
Your phone is nonstop.
I saw a post about that.
You know you're married to afarmer when is you know he has
more rings in two hours than youI get in two weeks.
That's a ball.
But I know that feeling.
I have lived that in my past.
So I'm definitely happy with nothaving that now.
(06:06):
Quiet is good for me.
SPEAKER_02 (06:09):
Kind of leads into what you want to talk about
today and creating someboundaries.
SPEAKER_04 (06:15):
Yeah.
So as you and I continue todevelop our business, farming is
unique in the fact that it's afamily operation, but in how
both of us grew up, there wasn'tthe business was never it wasn't
ever looked at as a business.
SPEAKER_01 (06:36):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (06:37):
Per se.
Right.
So you didn't have like meetingsto sit down and talk about
things.
And I mean, my mom just paidbills whenever she could.
You know, it wasn't like, oh, Ihave this time set aside.
And I think that that's probablybeen one of the hardest things
for me in not having thatexample of how to effectively
(07:04):
organize the business portion ofour farming.
Because we are so good atlooking at inputs and how to
grow the crop, but there areother major, major things that
we we don't put as much time andeffort into because it you have
(07:25):
to put your butt in that seatand sit down and plan.
SPEAKER_02 (07:33):
And there's so many dollars going through all of our
operations anymore that we'vegot to treat it like a big
business and run it like a bigbusiness.
SPEAKER_04 (07:42):
Well, and the margins are so slim that you
really need to sit down andfigure out where all the costs
are and how to cut and nip andtuck.
You know, to push when you want.
SPEAKER_02 (08:14):
But you were trained to be a doctor and just go to
work.
And you say all of the time howyou never took a business
course, and you wish you wouldhave taken a business course.
So that is also your training.
It's also growing up on a farmbecause that's what we hold on
to so much is that work ethic.
And we're just gonna go to workand we're gonna work hard.
(08:36):
And it's we've said it before,it's the old school mentality,
just go work hard and it'llit'll all work out.
SPEAKER_04 (08:45):
Well, it doesn't work like that anymore.
SPEAKER_02 (08:47):
You gotta work it out.
SPEAKER_04 (08:50):
Not with the on it, not with the number, not with
the dollars that are goingthrough the costs of everything.
And as you grow, if you want tocontinue to grow, you really
have to start putting systems inplace.
And for for me, you know, withthe farm and homeschooling, and
(09:15):
so the kids being home all dayand wanting to have healthy food
and and keeping up a home, umit's it's hard to know where to
begin and end and hold somestructure within within our
lives.
SPEAKER_02 (09:32):
I think we're also good at throwing projects at
ourselves.
SPEAKER_04 (09:35):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (09:36):
We've got another little project going on at home.
But that can be a littlesurprise for later on, I
suppose.
SPEAKER_04 (09:43):
So I saw this meme as well about this woman who is
like carrying this huge load onher back, and and she's bending
down to give her children a kisson the forehead and a hug, and
it was symbolizing how much awoman is carrying with her all
of the time.
(10:04):
And I think that that is verytrue for all women these days.
Um, but definitely that holdstrue in agriculture and on the
farm.
But I think it's that way formen as well.
I think in our society today,like we're at a point in that
(10:25):
our typical marriage roles areso blurred, you just gotta
figure out how it's gonna workfor you as a couple.
And and I think that, you know,after being together almost 20
years, actually 20 years thiscoming weekend.
SPEAKER_02 (10:45):
Not married, but together.
SPEAKER_04 (10:47):
Right.
We uh I think we're beginning tokind of figure it out.
But it but it's evolving, andbefore we know it, our kids are
gonna be gone and it's gonnaevolve some more.
I think the boundaries portionfor me is I have had to overcome
what my thoughts on being a goodwife and a good mom and a good
(11:11):
housewife and a good farm wifeare.
And, you know, for a long timewhen I was a doctor, I still
wanted to be a good wife and agood mom.
It was a different life at thatpoint, and having to really sit
down and figure out what all ofthose things meant to me.
That's been something I've beenunpacking for the last couple
(11:34):
weeks.
It's been a really big strugglefor me to let go of that ideal.
Because of a good wife and agood mom, and a good housewife,
and a good farm wife, and whatall of those mean, because they
(11:57):
weren't serving me well.
SPEAKER_02 (11:59):
Those are also expectations you're putting on
yourself.
SPEAKER_04 (12:02):
Yes, right.
Like I had to unpack what Ithought those things were and
understand that they were notaligning with the trajectory of
my life.
SPEAKER_02 (12:15):
Because a lot of those expectations were put on
yourself, not by me.
SPEAKER_04 (12:20):
Oh no, not by you.
SPEAKER_02 (12:22):
I I do ask you to do a lot on the farm, especially
since you have retired frommedicine.
Your role has completelychanged.
And I'm probably guilty ofabusing that situation and
having you around and doingerrands and you know, run us
lunch or supper or whatever.
But a lot of times you'll say,You've got to go do something
(12:46):
because you think I want you todo it.
And that's just you putting iton yourself.
SPEAKER_04 (12:54):
And I think I learned really young that that
was a way to control everythingfor myself.
SPEAKER_01 (13:01):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (13:02):
If I put all of those responsibilities onto me,
then I can handle whether or notsomething happens in a certain
way.
And that's just fear andscarcity.
It's been a really kind of roughcouple weeks for me unpacking
all of those pressures that I'veput on myself.
(13:24):
Like it wasn't you, it's not thekids.
All I know, all that you want isfor me to be happy in what I'm
doing.
But it's all of this pressurethat I've been putting on myself
with these roles that I had inmy head that I had to let go of.
And I think I'm still in themiddle of processing that.
(13:45):
But the first thing that Irealized is I have no boundaries
in my life.
And I shouldn't say I have noboundaries in my life.
I I would get up every morningand be like, okay, I'm gonna ask
Jesse what his plans are for theday, and I'm gonna see what the
kids' plans are for the day, andthen I will figure out what I'm
(14:07):
gonna do around all of that.
SPEAKER_02 (14:09):
And so then you ask me what my plans are for the
day, and I have a general planof what's gonna happen, but
funny enough, you sit and waitto see what my plan is, and I
sometimes don't divulge what myplan is because I'm waiting to
see what your plan is.
So it's it's a two-way streetthat we're both not passing each
(14:33):
other on because we're waitingto see what the other one has
for the other one to do.
Also on the farm, I mean,especially with livestock, you
gotta adapt to the day and put afire out or whatever.
And you think I don't have aplan for the day for the farm,
but I have a general idea ofwhat I want to happen.
(14:55):
It just things change, andthat's hard for you when we
gotta completely pivot and dosomething different.
SPEAKER_04 (15:03):
Well, I think there's a lot of a lot of trauma
from obstetrics in that regard,because my life was would be
completely up-ended every singleday, and there was absolutely
like I had a schedule, and theneverything would get completely
disrupt disrupted, and then itwould then I had double the
(15:28):
schedule the next day.
And so it was just this put itoff, put it off, put it off type
situation that I don't reallyever want to get back into
again.
And I think that that might bewhere some of that underlying
fear comes from of thatuncertainty because I had so
much uncertainty every day.
SPEAKER_02 (15:50):
Obstetrics is so much like farming in that you do
go in with a plan, like you werejust saying, but then all of a
sudden it hits the fan, and it'sjust you you learn to adapt and
move on with the day.
That is the first time you'veever kind of mentioned that, and
(16:12):
that's totally what it is.
You're just you're retired frommedicine and you want to be
retired from that kind oflifestyle, I think.
SPEAKER_04 (16:22):
Well, I think that there's just more healing that
needs to be done there,unpacking with all of that, but
not to say that we don't have tohave boundaries.
And when you say boundaries, youmean time set aside for very
specific things like working onthe business.
(16:43):
I know we talk about that a lot.
SPEAKER_02 (16:45):
I guess I'm just trying to say when you say
boundaries, you don't mean thatyou don't want me to ask you to
do something.
It's that you want to have timeset aside, and we need to do
that.
SPEAKER_04 (16:59):
Because you and I are very good at avoiding what
we don't really love to do.
And I and we like to get workdone.
It is so ingrained in us to justgo and get some work done, and
that feels so good.
SPEAKER_02 (17:15):
Production.
SPEAKER_04 (17:16):
Yeah.
And the other stuff, it like youdon't see immediate action, so
therefore, it doesn't feel likeyou're getting anything done.
SPEAKER_02 (17:25):
You're just Well, and who likes to pay bills?
SPEAKER_04 (17:30):
It's not just paying the bills, but even like the
marketing plan and the and allof those really big things that
we tend to put off.
SPEAKER_02 (17:40):
Are now the most important thing that you should
do as a farmer is your marketingplan and stuff like that.
SPEAKER_04 (17:46):
Well, especially since you have the row you have
the row crop dialed in so much.
You're doing really great withthat.
SPEAKER_02 (17:54):
That's the goal to improve that every year.
SPEAKER_04 (17:56):
Sure.
SPEAKER_02 (17:57):
We had a little meeting the other day with ended
up being one other farmer andsome other professionals, and
they had a guy there that'ssupposed to be um, he
specializes in trends, markettrends, and why things happened
the way they did, and thenalways has an outlook for
(18:20):
extended.
And the walk away basically wasyou better weather the storm for
at least another year, if notmore.
SPEAKER_04 (18:29):
Things might be better in 2027.
That was kind of that was kindof the gist of what I heard.
SPEAKER_02 (18:36):
Literally, what he said was a lot of the boxes that
we needed to check to get betterhave been checked, but I mean,
farming is a long game, right?
So it's it's literally survivethis year, next year, next half
a year, and uh things will getbetter.
SPEAKER_04 (18:55):
For me, one thing that I thought through that
whole meeting was how can we assmall family farms kind of band
together to help each otherweather the storm?
I think too often we see eachother as competition, and we've
talked about this at length, umwe have to start supporting each
(19:21):
other because the longevity ofthe family farm is going to be
be dependent upon community.
And if we don't uh make acommunity and uh help each
other, or at least be happy forour neighbors' successes.
SPEAKER_02 (19:41):
Like you don't have to go out and try to rent ground
away from them just so uhsomebody else doesn't get it.
We our ego takes takes over andwants to do those sorts of
things, but we can help eachother out and What does that
look like?
I don't know.
(20:02):
Um, because another one of theircomments the other day was your
equipment is one of the thingsthat could be making your
operation bleed, whether it betoo much equipment or too big a
equipment loan, whatever it is.
So does that mean you shouldshare some equipment with a
co-op of farmers?
Um, and I know there's somepeople out there that are making
(20:25):
it work.
SPEAKER_04 (20:26):
You would have to have a lot of structure and
boundaries to make that work,because everybody's farm is the
most important thing to themwhen it comes to whose farm gets
to use the combine first or inwhat you'd have to know who
you're in business with, andeverybody would have to have the
(20:49):
best interests of the greatergood at heart.
SPEAKER_02 (20:52):
Not I'm gonna be a part of this group because then
I could run a bigger piece ofequipment, but I'm gonna be a
part of this group because thenwe could share the equipment
cost and we could all be bettertogether.
SPEAKER_04 (21:05):
Well, and bankers don't look at your equipment as
the asset that you do.
Right.
And it depreciates very quicklyin their eyes.
You can have a lot of equipmentand it really not mean anything
on your asset sheet.
SPEAKER_01 (21:25):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (21:25):
Not to them anyway.
SPEAKER_01 (21:27):
So we kind of veered off in a little path there, but
well, yes and no.
SPEAKER_04 (21:32):
Um the big takeaway for me is that we need to
continue to work on thebusiness, not just in the
business.
And also that for me as a woman,and I think a lot of women share
this.
I can't speak as a man.
(21:52):
Um the roles that I I have puton myself that were passed on
from the generations of womenahead of me, those roles run
really deep and they may notserve you.
So the what I kept saying tomyself about what I should do
(22:17):
and what I thought you wantedfrom me was not actually
anything that you asked for orwanted from me.
It was all the pressure I put onmyself.
SPEAKER_02 (22:29):
Right.
So, what does in your mind agood wife or a good farm wife or
a good housewife mean to you?
Because for me, for you to beany of those things, a good wife
is to be present and to be therewith me and support me in our
(22:53):
endeavors.
It's not you doing the dishes oryou doing the laundry or you
bringing supper out to us, it'syou being present and and there
as a supportive spouse.
And I'll tell you, when you tellme that you are thankful for the
(23:18):
things I do and and you supportme in the things that I do, like
that that makes it worth it.
And that is what I need, andjust you being thankful and
being there and beingsupportive.
It's not the those other actionsthat I mentioned that make you a
(23:40):
good good wife.
SPEAKER_03 (23:45):
So to me, a good a good housewife has a clean house
all the time, the laundry'salways done, meals are cooked
from scratch, everyone'senjoying their time together,
and everything gets done.
SPEAKER_04 (24:05):
I'm well rested, so we can spend quality time
together as a family.
SPEAKER_03 (24:12):
So when I walk into the house and it's a mess and
the kids are upset and thingsaren't going well for you, I
just feel like I've failed everyday.
SPEAKER_02 (24:30):
And you take that on and you try to fix it.
SPEAKER_03 (24:33):
All of it.
Because then I quote unquotehave control over it, which is
not necessarily the truth.
So that is the battle I have hadfor the last seven years letting
go of all of that.
SPEAKER_04 (24:52):
So that is the old identity that is now dying or is
dead, and I'm ready to step intomy new identity and taking hold
of the audacious dreams that Ihave for my future.
(25:17):
And I think that that is thedifficult part of letting go
because it's familiar andstepping into where I know I
need to go, but I have to takethe step to find out where the
path is going too.
SPEAKER_02 (25:38):
You have a new chapter starting, and you need
to quit telling yourself thatyou failed as a wife and raising
amazing children.
SPEAKER_04 (25:48):
Yeah, we do have amazing kids.
SPEAKER_02 (25:51):
Our children are now teenagers, and that chapter is
coming to an end, and we'regonna have a new chapter
starting soon.
SPEAKER_04 (26:00):
It starts now, babe.
SPEAKER_02 (26:02):
Now is the time.
SPEAKER_04 (26:05):
I would love to hear what your big audacious dream
is, because your soul came tothis earth with a purpose and
something that would be easy andamazing and vibrant and a way to
serve others because thatservice provides love to
(26:30):
everyone, and that is how wegrow society and grow community.
And when we put our audaciousdreams on the back burner, we
are not truly serving anyone.
So, what are your audaciousdreams?
Send me an email.
I'd love to hear them.
(26:52):
At farmersgreatestasset atgmail.com.
SPEAKER_02 (26:56):
Tell us what new chapter you're starting.
SPEAKER_04 (26:58):
Even if it's just to put it on paper somewhere, make
that first step into existence.
I'd love to hear it.
Because we need people on thisearth who have audacious goals
and dream big, beautiful ideas.
SPEAKER_02 (27:19):
As always, thanks for listening.
And remember, it's a good day.
SPEAKER_04 (27:25):
To have a great day.
Bye.
The Farmer's Greatest Asset Podcast.
We believe the Farm's GreatestAsset is the Farmer.
Their knowledge, experience,mind, and health.
SPEAKER_02 (00:36):
Well, welcome to the podcast.
I'm Jesse.
SPEAKER_04 (00:38):
And I'm Dr.
Leah.
SPEAKER_02 (00:41):
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening.
Wherever and whenever you'relistening to the podcast,
welcome back.
It is still January.
It's still a little cold in theMidwest.
SPEAKER_04 (00:54):
A little.
I think it's frigid.
SPEAKER_02 (00:57):
Definitely cold.
SPEAKER_04 (00:58):
I miss 50 already.
I mean, I'm glad that we got thedeep frost, so our insect
pressure won't be so high.
SPEAKER_02 (01:09):
I think now we do have a pretty decent freeze.
SPEAKER_04 (01:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (01:12):
Got some tillage and some bug control going on out
there.
SPEAKER_04 (01:15):
Our well fro our well pump froze or whatever.
So I'm I'm sure we're good.
SPEAKER_03 (01:21):
I I usually use that as my gauge.
If it gets that deep that wehave to go thaw out the well,
then I think we're pretty good.
SPEAKER_01 (01:30):
It's a pretty deep gauge, actually.
SPEAKER_04 (01:32):
So that happened last week.
Uh a couple of days.
It's nice to have teenagers thatcan go and take care of that for
you.
Yes, it is.
Thank you, Lucy and Henry.
SPEAKER_02 (01:44):
Lizzie too.
SPEAKER_04 (01:45):
And Lizzie, yes.
SPEAKER_02 (01:47):
So we got the cows calved and out of the shop,
finally.
SPEAKER_04 (01:54):
I think it's it's so funny because it was your idea.
I know.
But from the moment they were inthere, it drove you bonkers.
SPEAKER_03 (02:06):
Yeah.
It was just like, oh, it stinksso bad.
I'm like, they're cows.
Like, what did you expect?
SPEAKER_02 (02:15):
Well, the smell doesn't necessarily bother me,
but it made the shop smell andthe office because it's attached
to the shop.
And the humidity is what reallyirritated me.
Just three cows in there createsso much humidity, and then they
have a calf, and then that wholewater bag, and there's just so
(02:36):
much humidity.
Like it was raining in the shop.
Humidity.
But we got three calves, nicecalves out of it.
They all had them on their own.
So kept them out of cold andsaved the ears and the tails.
SPEAKER_04 (02:53):
And they look really healthy.
SPEAKER_02 (02:56):
Yeah, they look good.
SPEAKER_04 (02:57):
They're jumping around and frisky.
SPEAKER_02 (03:00):
This is Henry's little lucky strike, I guess,
right?
He got bought three embryos andall three stuck.
One was supposed to be a heiferand it turned out to be a bull,
but that's how it goes.
SPEAKER_04 (03:14):
So of course, the only, you know, baldy was the
bull calf.
SPEAKER_02 (03:20):
He was praying for a baldy, and it's not even a
full-face baldy, it's just alittle white stripe.
They're good calves.
SPEAKER_04 (03:26):
Yeah.
They're nice, solid calves andlook doing well.
I think the not the funniestthing, but we got to the point
where it was time for them tohave calves, and Henry got sick.
It fell on mom and dad.
SPEAKER_02 (03:44):
Yes, it did.
SPEAKER_04 (03:45):
That's okay.
Let me go back to my OB roots.
SPEAKER_02 (03:49):
Yeah, you even, I let you check them.
It's like you got smaller handsand arms than me.
Worked out better.
SPEAKER_04 (03:56):
I also, I think, have a little more patience and
compassion with checks.
SPEAKER_02 (04:03):
I don't know what you're talking about.
Oh, but that's all good.
My fall cows will calve out thisfall when it's nice out, we
won't have to put them in theshop.
SPEAKER_04 (04:19):
Oh, don't worry.
Henry will have more embryos putin and it'll be.
SPEAKER_02 (04:25):
Yeah.
It's all right.
He's getting his little projectstarted, so yeah.
All is good.
SPEAKER_04 (04:30):
It is good.
But the the weather could changeat any point.
I'd be happy with that.
But I think February, they'resaying is supposed to be really
cold.
SPEAKER_02 (04:42):
Next week here, they're talking 30 for a high.
So to me, that's perfect.
Let the ground stay frozen.
SPEAKER_04 (04:49):
And it's not muddy.
SPEAKER_02 (04:50):
Get our grain bags picked up.
unknown (04:52):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (04:54):
It is time.
We have a lot of grain to gethauled.
And much to our dismay, thatreport did not swing the way we
wanted it to.
And yeah, I don't even know ifwe talk about that.
SPEAKER_02 (05:05):
I mean, that's been that horse is dead, right?
Everybody's talked about it, andI think we all know what's going
on there.
SPEAKER_04 (05:11):
But well, we don't have to talk about that, but we
do need to get some grainhauled.
SPEAKER_02 (05:16):
Right.
Get some grain gone and pay somebills.
SPEAKER_04 (05:22):
Yeah.
So well, all the upcominginputs.
SPEAKER_02 (05:27):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (05:28):
Get some discounts.
SPEAKER_02 (05:31):
Tis the season.
They're all calling.
SPEAKER_04 (05:35):
I'm glad they call you.
My phone is relatively quiet.
SPEAKER_02 (05:40):
My phone's nonstop.
SPEAKER_04 (05:42):
Your phone is nonstop.
I saw a post about that.
You know you're married to afarmer when is you know he has
more rings in two hours than youI get in two weeks.
That's a ball.
But I know that feeling.
I have lived that in my past.
So I'm definitely happy with nothaving that now.
(06:06):
Quiet is good for me.
SPEAKER_02 (06:09):
Kind of leads into what you want to talk about
today and creating someboundaries.
SPEAKER_04 (06:15):
Yeah.
So as you and I continue todevelop our business, farming is
unique in the fact that it's afamily operation, but in how
both of us grew up, there wasn'tthe business was never it wasn't
ever looked at as a business.
SPEAKER_01 (06:36):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (06:37):
Per se.
Right.
So you didn't have like meetingsto sit down and talk about
things.
And I mean, my mom just paidbills whenever she could.
You know, it wasn't like, oh, Ihave this time set aside.
And I think that that's probablybeen one of the hardest things
for me in not having thatexample of how to effectively
(07:04):
organize the business portion ofour farming.
Because we are so good atlooking at inputs and how to
grow the crop, but there areother major, major things that
we we don't put as much time andeffort into because it you have
(07:25):
to put your butt in that seatand sit down and plan.
SPEAKER_02 (07:33):
And there's so many dollars going through all of our
operations anymore that we'vegot to treat it like a big
business and run it like a bigbusiness.
SPEAKER_04 (07:42):
Well, and the margins are so slim that you
really need to sit down andfigure out where all the costs
are and how to cut and nip andtuck.
You know, to push when you want.
SPEAKER_02 (08:14):
But you were trained to be a doctor and just go to
work.
And you say all of the time howyou never took a business
course, and you wish you wouldhave taken a business course.
So that is also your training.
It's also growing up on a farmbecause that's what we hold on
to so much is that work ethic.
And we're just gonna go to workand we're gonna work hard.
(08:36):
And it's we've said it before,it's the old school mentality,
just go work hard and it'llit'll all work out.
SPEAKER_04 (08:45):
Well, it doesn't work like that anymore.
SPEAKER_02 (08:47):
You gotta work it out.
SPEAKER_04 (08:50):
Not with the on it, not with the number, not with
the dollars that are goingthrough the costs of everything.
And as you grow, if you want tocontinue to grow, you really
have to start putting systems inplace.
And for for me, you know, withthe farm and homeschooling, and
(09:15):
so the kids being home all dayand wanting to have healthy food
and and keeping up a home, umit's it's hard to know where to
begin and end and hold somestructure within within our
lives.
SPEAKER_02 (09:32):
I think we're also good at throwing projects at
ourselves.
SPEAKER_04 (09:35):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (09:36):
We've got another little project going on at home.
But that can be a littlesurprise for later on, I
suppose.
SPEAKER_04 (09:43):
So I saw this meme as well about this woman who is
like carrying this huge load onher back, and and she's bending
down to give her children a kisson the forehead and a hug, and
it was symbolizing how much awoman is carrying with her all
of the time.
(10:04):
And I think that that is verytrue for all women these days.
Um, but definitely that holdstrue in agriculture and on the
farm.
But I think it's that way formen as well.
I think in our society today,like we're at a point in that
(10:25):
our typical marriage roles areso blurred, you just gotta
figure out how it's gonna workfor you as a couple.
And and I think that, you know,after being together almost 20
years, actually 20 years thiscoming weekend.
SPEAKER_02 (10:45):
Not married, but together.
SPEAKER_04 (10:47):
Right.
We uh I think we're beginning tokind of figure it out.
But it but it's evolving, andbefore we know it, our kids are
gonna be gone and it's gonnaevolve some more.
I think the boundaries portionfor me is I have had to overcome
what my thoughts on being a goodwife and a good mom and a good
(11:11):
housewife and a good farm wifeare.
And, you know, for a long timewhen I was a doctor, I still
wanted to be a good wife and agood mom.
It was a different life at thatpoint, and having to really sit
down and figure out what all ofthose things meant to me.
That's been something I've beenunpacking for the last couple
(11:34):
weeks.
It's been a really big strugglefor me to let go of that ideal.
Because of a good wife and agood mom, and a good housewife,
and a good farm wife, and whatall of those mean, because they
(11:57):
weren't serving me well.
SPEAKER_02 (11:59):
Those are also expectations you're putting on
yourself.
SPEAKER_04 (12:02):
Yes, right.
Like I had to unpack what Ithought those things were and
understand that they were notaligning with the trajectory of
my life.
SPEAKER_02 (12:15):
Because a lot of those expectations were put on
yourself, not by me.
SPEAKER_04 (12:20):
Oh no, not by you.
SPEAKER_02 (12:22):
I I do ask you to do a lot on the farm, especially
since you have retired frommedicine.
Your role has completelychanged.
And I'm probably guilty ofabusing that situation and
having you around and doingerrands and you know, run us
lunch or supper or whatever.
But a lot of times you'll say,You've got to go do something
(12:46):
because you think I want you todo it.
And that's just you putting iton yourself.
SPEAKER_04 (12:54):
And I think I learned really young that that
was a way to control everythingfor myself.
SPEAKER_01 (13:01):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (13:02):
If I put all of those responsibilities onto me,
then I can handle whether or notsomething happens in a certain
way.
And that's just fear andscarcity.
It's been a really kind of roughcouple weeks for me unpacking
all of those pressures that I'veput on myself.
(13:24):
Like it wasn't you, it's not thekids.
All I know, all that you want isfor me to be happy in what I'm
doing.
But it's all of this pressurethat I've been putting on myself
with these roles that I had inmy head that I had to let go of.
And I think I'm still in themiddle of processing that.
(13:45):
But the first thing that Irealized is I have no boundaries
in my life.
And I shouldn't say I have noboundaries in my life.
I I would get up every morningand be like, okay, I'm gonna ask
Jesse what his plans are for theday, and I'm gonna see what the
kids' plans are for the day, andthen I will figure out what I'm
(14:07):
gonna do around all of that.
SPEAKER_02 (14:09):
And so then you ask me what my plans are for the
day, and I have a general planof what's gonna happen, but
funny enough, you sit and waitto see what my plan is, and I
sometimes don't divulge what myplan is because I'm waiting to
see what your plan is.
So it's it's a two-way streetthat we're both not passing each
(14:33):
other on because we're waitingto see what the other one has
for the other one to do.
Also on the farm, I mean,especially with livestock, you
gotta adapt to the day and put afire out or whatever.
And you think I don't have aplan for the day for the farm,
but I have a general idea ofwhat I want to happen.
(14:55):
It just things change, andthat's hard for you when we
gotta completely pivot and dosomething different.
SPEAKER_04 (15:03):
Well, I think there's a lot of a lot of trauma
from obstetrics in that regard,because my life was would be
completely up-ended every singleday, and there was absolutely
like I had a schedule, and theneverything would get completely
disrupt disrupted, and then itwould then I had double the
(15:28):
schedule the next day.
And so it was just this put itoff, put it off, put it off type
situation that I don't reallyever want to get back into
again.
And I think that that might bewhere some of that underlying
fear comes from of thatuncertainty because I had so
much uncertainty every day.
SPEAKER_02 (15:50):
Obstetrics is so much like farming in that you do
go in with a plan, like you werejust saying, but then all of a
sudden it hits the fan, and it'sjust you you learn to adapt and
move on with the day.
That is the first time you'veever kind of mentioned that, and
(16:12):
that's totally what it is.
You're just you're retired frommedicine and you want to be
retired from that kind oflifestyle, I think.
SPEAKER_04 (16:22):
Well, I think that there's just more healing that
needs to be done there,unpacking with all of that, but
not to say that we don't have tohave boundaries.
And when you say boundaries, youmean time set aside for very
specific things like working onthe business.
(16:43):
I know we talk about that a lot.
SPEAKER_02 (16:45):
I guess I'm just trying to say when you say
boundaries, you don't mean thatyou don't want me to ask you to
do something.
It's that you want to have timeset aside, and we need to do
that.
SPEAKER_04 (16:59):
Because you and I are very good at avoiding what
we don't really love to do.
And I and we like to get workdone.
It is so ingrained in us to justgo and get some work done, and
that feels so good.
SPEAKER_02 (17:15):
Production.
SPEAKER_04 (17:16):
Yeah.
And the other stuff, it like youdon't see immediate action, so
therefore, it doesn't feel likeyou're getting anything done.
SPEAKER_02 (17:25):
You're just Well, and who likes to pay bills?
SPEAKER_04 (17:30):
It's not just paying the bills, but even like the
marketing plan and the and allof those really big things that
we tend to put off.
SPEAKER_02 (17:40):
Are now the most important thing that you should
do as a farmer is your marketingplan and stuff like that.
SPEAKER_04 (17:46):
Well, especially since you have the row you have
the row crop dialed in so much.
You're doing really great withthat.
SPEAKER_02 (17:54):
That's the goal to improve that every year.
SPEAKER_04 (17:56):
Sure.
SPEAKER_02 (17:57):
We had a little meeting the other day with ended
up being one other farmer andsome other professionals, and
they had a guy there that'ssupposed to be um, he
specializes in trends, markettrends, and why things happened
the way they did, and thenalways has an outlook for
(18:20):
extended.
And the walk away basically wasyou better weather the storm for
at least another year, if notmore.
SPEAKER_04 (18:29):
Things might be better in 2027.
That was kind of that was kindof the gist of what I heard.
SPEAKER_02 (18:36):
Literally, what he said was a lot of the boxes that
we needed to check to get betterhave been checked, but I mean,
farming is a long game, right?
So it's it's literally survivethis year, next year, next half
a year, and uh things will getbetter.
SPEAKER_04 (18:55):
For me, one thing that I thought through that
whole meeting was how can we assmall family farms kind of band
together to help each otherweather the storm?
I think too often we see eachother as competition, and we've
talked about this at length, umwe have to start supporting each
(19:21):
other because the longevity ofthe family farm is going to be
be dependent upon community.
And if we don't uh make acommunity and uh help each
other, or at least be happy forour neighbors' successes.
SPEAKER_02 (19:41):
Like you don't have to go out and try to rent ground
away from them just so uhsomebody else doesn't get it.
We our ego takes takes over andwants to do those sorts of
things, but we can help eachother out and What does that
look like?
I don't know.
(20:02):
Um, because another one of theircomments the other day was your
equipment is one of the thingsthat could be making your
operation bleed, whether it betoo much equipment or too big a
equipment loan, whatever it is.
So does that mean you shouldshare some equipment with a
co-op of farmers?
Um, and I know there's somepeople out there that are making
(20:25):
it work.
SPEAKER_04 (20:26):
You would have to have a lot of structure and
boundaries to make that work,because everybody's farm is the
most important thing to themwhen it comes to whose farm gets
to use the combine first or inwhat you'd have to know who
you're in business with, andeverybody would have to have the
(20:49):
best interests of the greatergood at heart.
SPEAKER_02 (20:52):
Not I'm gonna be a part of this group because then
I could run a bigger piece ofequipment, but I'm gonna be a
part of this group because thenwe could share the equipment
cost and we could all be bettertogether.
SPEAKER_04 (21:05):
Well, and bankers don't look at your equipment as
the asset that you do.
Right.
And it depreciates very quicklyin their eyes.
You can have a lot of equipmentand it really not mean anything
on your asset sheet.
SPEAKER_01 (21:25):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (21:25):
Not to them anyway.
SPEAKER_01 (21:27):
So we kind of veered off in a little path there, but
well, yes and no.
SPEAKER_04 (21:32):
Um the big takeaway for me is that we need to
continue to work on thebusiness, not just in the
business.
And also that for me as a woman,and I think a lot of women share
this.
I can't speak as a man.
(21:52):
Um the roles that I I have puton myself that were passed on
from the generations of womenahead of me, those roles run
really deep and they may notserve you.
So the what I kept saying tomyself about what I should do
(22:17):
and what I thought you wantedfrom me was not actually
anything that you asked for orwanted from me.
It was all the pressure I put onmyself.
SPEAKER_02 (22:29):
Right.
So, what does in your mind agood wife or a good farm wife or
a good housewife mean to you?
Because for me, for you to beany of those things, a good wife
is to be present and to be therewith me and support me in our
(22:53):
endeavors.
It's not you doing the dishes oryou doing the laundry or you
bringing supper out to us, it'syou being present and and there
as a supportive spouse.
And I'll tell you, when you tellme that you are thankful for the
(23:18):
things I do and and you supportme in the things that I do, like
that that makes it worth it.
And that is what I need, andjust you being thankful and
being there and beingsupportive.
It's not the those other actionsthat I mentioned that make you a
(23:40):
good good wife.
SPEAKER_03 (23:45):
So to me, a good a good housewife has a clean house
all the time, the laundry'salways done, meals are cooked
from scratch, everyone'senjoying their time together,
and everything gets done.
SPEAKER_04 (24:05):
I'm well rested, so we can spend quality time
together as a family.
SPEAKER_03 (24:12):
So when I walk into the house and it's a mess and
the kids are upset and thingsaren't going well for you, I
just feel like I've failed everyday.
SPEAKER_02 (24:30):
And you take that on and you try to fix it.
SPEAKER_03 (24:33):
All of it.
Because then I quote unquotehave control over it, which is
not necessarily the truth.
So that is the battle I have hadfor the last seven years letting
go of all of that.
SPEAKER_04 (24:52):
So that is the old identity that is now dying or is
dead, and I'm ready to step intomy new identity and taking hold
of the audacious dreams that Ihave for my future.
(25:17):
And I think that that is thedifficult part of letting go
because it's familiar andstepping into where I know I
need to go, but I have to takethe step to find out where the
path is going too.
SPEAKER_02 (25:38):
You have a new chapter starting, and you need
to quit telling yourself thatyou failed as a wife and raising
amazing children.
SPEAKER_04 (25:48):
Yeah, we do have amazing kids.
SPEAKER_02 (25:51):
Our children are now teenagers, and that chapter is
coming to an end, and we'regonna have a new chapter
starting soon.
SPEAKER_04 (26:00):
It starts now, babe.
SPEAKER_02 (26:02):
Now is the time.
SPEAKER_04 (26:05):
I would love to hear what your big audacious dream
is, because your soul came tothis earth with a purpose and
something that would be easy andamazing and vibrant and a way to
serve others because thatservice provides love to
(26:30):
everyone, and that is how wegrow society and grow community.
And when we put our audaciousdreams on the back burner, we
are not truly serving anyone.
So, what are your audaciousdreams?
Send me an email.
I'd love to hear them.
(26:52):
At farmersgreatestasset atgmail.com.
SPEAKER_02 (26:56):
Tell us what new chapter you're starting.
SPEAKER_04 (26:58):
Even if it's just to put it on paper somewhere, make
that first step into existence.
I'd love to hear it.
Because we need people on thisearth who have audacious goals
and dream big, beautiful ideas.
SPEAKER_02 (27:19):
As always, thanks for listening.
And remember, it's a good day.
SPEAKER_04 (27:25):
To have a great day.
Bye.
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