December 4, 2025 • 42 mins
We explore why we’ve confused numbing with real rest and how that drains health, clarity, and joy. We face time scarcity, guilt, and identity to make space for intentional recovery and purpose-driven work, even during busy seasons on the farm.
• health as the farm’s true asset
• rest as active renewal not numbing
• time scarcity and self-imposed deadlines
• different work styles and family logistics
• phone dopamine and overstimulation
• guilt, identity, and “hard worker” stories
• redefining success through a feminine lens
• letting the team work while you step away
• simple daily intentions and lock-screen prompts
• single-task focus, low-stimulation evenings
• practical plan: coffee shop sessions and boundaries
Go find us on all of the socials at farmersgreatestasset. Send us an email, send us a message. We like hearing from you. If there’s something that you guys have found that has helped you rest, let us know at farmersgreatestasset@gmail.com.
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:16):
The Farmer's Greatest Asset Podcast.
We believe the Farm's GreatestAsset is the Farmer.
Their knowledge, experience,mind, and health.
(00:38):
Welcome to the podcast.
I'm Jesse.
SPEAKER_02 (00:41):
And I'm Dr.
Leah.
SPEAKER_00 (00:43):
Well, in our little intro, we actually say that we
believe that the farm's greatestasset is the farmer and their
health.
Right?
SPEAKER_02 (00:54):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (00:55):
We want to focus a little more today on your
health.
SPEAKER_02 (01:03):
Yeah.
Something that we came acrossrecently because we've been
trying to physically, mentally,emotionally take time and rest
in this season.
(01:24):
We realized we don't really knowwhat rest is.
SPEAKER_00 (01:31):
We don't know how to rest.
SPEAKER_02 (01:35):
I think that we all I have always thought, you know,
rest is basically, you know,hanging around, watching TV,
whatever.
I mean, that's what it used tobe for me.
And now I do a lot of scrolling.
But I'm kind of getting bored ofall of that.
(01:58):
And at night, you know, so manyof the productivity people or
you know, people who longevitypeople say you should, there's
the should word, uh, read 20minutes a day.
But to me, it's what I choose toread is too stimulating.
(02:19):
Like that's not what I like.
I don't want to get my mindgoing right before I want to go
to bed.
So then I just kind of havecontinue to watch TV.
SPEAKER_00 (02:31):
Well, when we talk about rest, are you talking
about going to bed and sleepingat night or actually taking a
day to rest and rejuvenate andrelax?
SPEAKER_02 (02:43):
Yes.
Both actually.
Those are two different topics,but two totally different
topics.
Right.
But I think two very importanttopics for health.
SPEAKER_00 (02:55):
So in our house, there there's like no weekends,
right, on a farm.
So in our house, there's there'snot a day.
If we get a weather day orsomething, or let's just say a
Sunday, like there's no suchthing as let's just take a day
of rest and relaxation andrejuvenation.
(03:16):
And it's in everybody's house.
There's always work to do,there's always laundry, there's
always all that to do.
Figuring out how to actuallyrest.
SPEAKER_02 (03:26):
I wonder if other people struggle with this as
much as we do.
So we were having thisconversation earlier because
physically, and I know you needrest physically at this point.
I know I need mental andemotional rest at this point in
my life.
Um, at this season.
SPEAKER_00 (03:49):
Lately I have been.
Maybe it's the weather turning.
I don't know, but lately I havebeen.
I just walked out the door thismorning and told Henry, I feel
blah.
Like just blah.
SPEAKER_02 (04:01):
I went back to keto a few days ago, right after
Thanksgiving, because Iovercarbed and felt like
garbage.
I did.
I had way too many carbs, Iguess.
I don't know.
And so I've been doing keto.
I feel like I have so much moremental clarity and I feel better
(04:25):
physically.
SPEAKER_00 (04:26):
So in the past helped me, but in the past, when
we needed a day to quote unquoterest, we would leave.
Leave the house.
And not that that's a bad thing.
We had to leave so we you wecould get you away from having
to clean the house or laundry ormaking meals or we have never,
(04:55):
since you and I have beenmarried, have been able to do
anything.
We used to have a boat that wewould take on the river, and you
I get it, you didn't like goingon the river because we had
littles.
SPEAKER_02 (05:10):
They were little little.
I mean, like we started takingthem out in in the car seat at
like four or five months old.
SPEAKER_00 (05:17):
They were little and it's the river, and it's a whole
different story out there, butum it was always I have such a
list of things I gotta do first.
You always have a list of thingsthat you have to do before you
will do anything.
And it's even like we areleaving for a conference this
week, and I bet you got a listof things you got to do.
(05:38):
Not the things that you gottapack and things you gotta get
ready to to pack, but I bet youhave a list of things you have
to do before we leave.
SPEAKER_02 (05:48):
So I actually don't this time.
I really don't.
That's a first.
It is a first.
I usually do, but I am reallymaking an intention of not
putting timelines on myselfanymore.
Like I had a huge realization,and it that in and of itself is
(06:12):
a long story, but a realizationof how much time scarcity I have
and how much deadlines I placeon myself in an effort to be
more productive, but then I endup just feeling like a failure
because I try and shove so muchinto a timeline that is so
(06:32):
unattainable.
Then I always feel like I'm notmeasuring up.
And so I finally was like, Ineed like with your help.
I mean, God bless you, Jesse.
You have been very patient withme sometimes.
SPEAKER_00 (06:49):
Some days.
SPEAKER_02 (06:51):
I mean, this is like 20 years in the making.
I mean, we've been togetheralmost 20 years.
And I realize I don't know whereor I I mean, I know it started
back in high school or earlier,as long as I can remember, like
the push and the grind and thepush and the grind, and more and
more and more and more.
And you know, it led me tomedical school.
(07:14):
It really gave me all of thisgood stuff to the point where I
became a complete workaholic andwas not even hardly sleeping and
putting it all on my plate.
SPEAKER_00 (07:26):
You still do.
SPEAKER_02 (07:27):
I do, and I'm I'm really, really putting effort
forth to change that.
One of my recent realizationswas I put a deadline on myself
to complete something that I asa goal that I set last New
Year's.
And it's at the time when I setthat goal, it felt like
(07:49):
something that I needed to do.
But I don't know because that'swhat other people, you know,
like it was creating a course,right?
Like, oh, I should do this, butI really don't want to do that
right now.
It just felt like something Ishould do, like I was shoulding
on myself.
And I put this really tighttimeline in and I was like, I'm
(08:12):
gonna get this done before theend of the year because I told
myself I would do it.
And so I created how I can getthat done in 30 days.
And then I stepped back and Iwas like, what am I doing?
Number one, do I really want todo this?
Number two, do I want to put allof my time and energy into this
(08:36):
during the holiday season when Ireally want to do fun stuff with
my family?
It was through your help andthrough one of my friends and a
women's mastermind that I'm partof, that it really made me
realize how much of that timeconstraint I'm putting on
(08:59):
myself.
And then I'm like, why?
SPEAKER_00 (09:02):
So Because creating that course is it, as you say,
filling your cup.
SPEAKER_02 (09:08):
No.
And who am I really serving withit, right?
SPEAKER_00 (09:11):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (09:11):
Like the people I want to serve are not gonna take
the time for a course becausethey already don't have time.
So it was a magical moment inthat time period.
Like, I think that went on forlike two or three weeks for me
(09:32):
to finally see why do I keepputting these time limits on
myself?
Because it's worked for me inthe past.
Like I had a deadline and Ipowered through and I got it
done, and it served me so much.
Like I'm trying to break thatmold.
But it's it's so ingrained inme.
Like it must have been how I gotall of my worth for 40 years
(09:59):
plus, because it is reallytaking time for me to break it.
But I am ready to slowly letthat go.
So this morning, when you'relike, Well, I asked you what you
were planning on doing for thefarm, and you said to me, Well,
what are your plans?
(10:20):
I was like, Well, we shouldprobably figure out what we're
gonna wear when we leave thisweekend.
So if we need to get laundrydone, it's done.
And besides packing, that's theonly thing I feel like I have to
get done.
This is a first.
SPEAKER_00 (10:38):
It is a first.
Because every morning you wakeup and ask me, what is the plan
on the farm?
And to be quite honest, I mean,I have an idea what what we're
gonna accomplish that day, butthat's just not how I operate, I
guess.
And that's just not how it workson the farm.
It's okay, we're gonna have Iknow I gotta get this done
(11:01):
today, and then it's kind ofworking out from there.
And I I don't maybe that is notthe correct way to accomplish
things on the farm, but that'sgenerally how it's how it
happens.
Let's see how it goes and seewhat the day brings.
SPEAKER_02 (11:17):
And I think that that's successful when you're
working in the business.
SPEAKER_00 (11:21):
But you always have such a timeline and it's go, go,
go, go, and and I that's justnot the way I am.
And I power through and we justtend to get things done, but I
don't I don't have a a list forthe day.
But maybe I should.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_02 (11:40):
I feel like we are in reaction a lot.
That's one thing that I kind ofdon't want.
When it comes to the farm, it'sit's really a lot.
I need to see what you'replanning so I know if I'm going
you're going to need me to do aB or C or I plan my day.
(12:00):
Like, are you gonna be in thefield?
If so, then I have to get lunchto you and it takes this much
time, and so I have this muchother time, and it's all about
time.
There isn't like a, oh, youknow, 10 o'clock ish, whether
they're in the field or not.
Um either I or someone elseneeds to start making lunch so
(12:22):
it's ready for us to eat, andthen we'll clean up.
SPEAKER_01 (12:25):
It feels like, uh, something I gotta do.
Oh, I gotta get this done.
Oh, I gotta get this done.
I only have this much time.
SPEAKER_02 (12:33):
Ah it's so much stress.
It's no one, like I feel likeI'm constantly in reaction
because of the time limitation.
Like even talking about it rightnow makes me feel really
uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_00 (12:48):
I can feel it.
It's like, ah, just back off.
SPEAKER_02 (12:53):
Like, I've been doing this for probably 40 plus
years, probably since I was 10or or younger, because achieving
was uh I got positive reward forthat from somebody or from
multiple people.
Hard worker was always a hugething.
(13:13):
Like it was my identity.
I still love it, I still likebeing told I'm a hard worker.
SPEAKER_00 (13:21):
Well, that's a farm kid thing, right?
We really hold on to that workethic.
We have that work ethic becausewe grew up on a farm, and not
that that's a bad thing.
And use it to your advantage,absolutely.
But to our point today, we'vegot to figure out how to rest.
SPEAKER_02 (13:41):
We gotta figure out how to enjoy, like bring joy
into the day.
SPEAKER_00 (13:48):
For me, like I said earlier, I just I've been
feeling blah, and I have been sobad at just vegging out with TV,
uh, my phone, Facebook, youknow, whatever.
And none of that is my soul'spurpose.
(14:09):
None of that is fulfilling, noneof that is filling my cup.
None of that is restoration,none of that is restoration,
none of that is stimulating mybrain intellectually.
It's all just zoning out, it'snumbing.
Numbing out.
(14:29):
And that's why I feel so blah.
And that literally, I mean, Irealized that this morning.
Like, I have such a hard timenot picking up my phone.
It's just a bad habit.
It's that dopamine hit, and wetalk about it all the time.
Put the phone down, and and thatis the first step.
For me, I need to I need to feelrejuvenated, and I need to read
(14:56):
something, whether it be amagazine or an article, or you
know, a good book, or somethingthat that makes me think and
makes my my brain think aboutsomething rather than just
numbing up.
SPEAKER_02 (15:15):
So here's a question for you.
If I said to you, okay, Jesse,when we're done with this
podcast, we're going to get itall ready, and then you and I
are going to go to a coffee shopand work on something fulfilling
(15:38):
for two hours.
SPEAKER_00 (15:40):
Well, right now coffee sounds really good.
So, yes.
SPEAKER_02 (15:47):
Um, how does that make you feel?
Like, does it feel like that issomething you can do in the
middle of the day?
SPEAKER_00 (15:56):
No, that's not something I do.
Well it's something I need todo.
SPEAKER_02 (16:02):
Why does that not why does why do you feel like
that is not something you cando?
SPEAKER_00 (16:07):
It's a farm kid work ethic thing, just gotta go out
and do it.
Gotta go work.
SPEAKER_02 (16:13):
Will you enjoy it?
Is it the like would you enjoytaking that time to go do
something for your soul'spurpose?
SPEAKER_00 (16:22):
Sitting here thinking about it, yes.
Like, because I know there arethings that we need to
accomplish with the farmer'sgreatest asset and Dr.
Leah Farms and you and I, like,so I know there are things that
I need to focus on that willstimulate me intellectually.
So thinking about that, it'slike, yes, that is exactly what
I need.
SPEAKER_02 (16:42):
Stepping, stepping away for a second and being able
to focus on that stuff and writeand read and what if you give
your employees their tasks forthe day and you go there and you
and I are there together becausewe like to work together and
bounce things off of each other,and you turn your phone off.
(17:06):
How does that feel?
SPEAKER_00 (17:08):
Well, I can remember when I worked for Zimmer.
So Zimmer is an orthopedicimplant company, and I was the
rep that would go into surgery,and my area was this southeast
Iowa area, so I covered mainlyFort Madison, Burlington, and
then I was supposed to coverlike Mount Pleasant and Van
Buren County and some hospitalsover there.
(17:29):
And one day I so back up, I hadthis was back in oh five.
SPEAKER_02 (17:36):
Five.
SPEAKER_00 (17:38):
If y'all remember the BlackBerry.
I had a Blackberry, they gave mea Blackberry phone, and I also
had to have a pager.
So they wanted to get a hold ofme because I was also supposed
to bring in trauma products fortrauma surgeries.
Um, but the point is that theywanted to get a hold of me at
(18:01):
all times.
So I went over to Van BurenCounty, and cell service is
terrible, probably still is overthere.
And I was just over there, youknow, went into the hospital and
met with some nurses and metwith some doctors and just over
there.
I was probably gone all morningor whatever it was.
And like I got halfway back toFort Madison, my my phone is
(18:27):
just like blowing up with emailsand text and phone calls.
And I got the first phone call,and I thought, man, that was a
really nice morning.
I didn't have a single phonecall.
It was my boss, he's like, Whereare you been?
I was like, I've been over inVan Buren County.
So then he kind of chilled outbecause I was doing your job,
(18:48):
quote unquote working.
So, but I remember that feelinglike, man, that was that was
alright.
I didn't have a single phonecall, my pager didn't go off
once.
And even now, my phone goes offall of the time.
You say it, the kids say it, theguys say it like your phone is
(19:10):
just nonstop, and it is, it'sit's annoying.
But like I've said, that's justrunning a business.
So the idea of not having aphone, yes, that is refreshing.
And I so I'm bad at it too.
I'm trying to call you and youdon't answer.
And 99% of the time, whathappens is you call me, I miss
(19:32):
it.
I try calling you back likeinstantly, and then you don't
answer.
It's like you just called me.
Why are you answering?
So I'm bad at it too.
Like, we live in the world thatwe have to get a hold of
somebody now.
And how did we operate 25 yearsago plus?
SPEAKER_02 (19:53):
And less reaction, less reaction.
We had the day was more yourown.
I mean, so 20 years ago, 25years ago, I was in residency.
Like my life was insane.
Right.
I don't know that it was worsethan private practice with
(20:14):
babies, but I think that there,like I think about how my life
was in medical school where Ihad to, I I went to class and I
learned, and I I legitimatelystudied 12 to 14 hours a day.
I was either in class oractually it was probably more
(20:36):
like 16 to 18.
I was in class, or we were at acoffee shop studying, or I was
with my friend studying, or Imean, I was constantly studying,
and I I actually loved it.
Like I love learning things, butit also became too much as well.
When did all of that change?
Like that being okay in my mind,okay to take that time to learn
(21:04):
and to take the time.
SPEAKER_00 (21:07):
Well, at the time when you were in medical school,
that was your job.
Right.
So you had to focus intently onit, and that's that's you.
When you get on something, youlaser focused and you're gonna
do it.
SPEAKER_02 (21:19):
And so for me, when we this morning we were talking
about going to a coffee shop, Ihave guilt.
unknown (21:25):
Yep.
SPEAKER_00 (21:26):
So do I.
Because if we're not there, theones doing the work, then that
is how it's been for me.
Like, if you're not therealongside of your employees,
then things aren't happening.
Well, that's not true.
I don't I don't hire employees,so I do all the work.
We have employees so they canaccomplish tasks as we go
(21:50):
accomplish other things.
SPEAKER_02 (21:52):
Why is there guilt?
I have a hard time enjoyingthings because I feel like I
have to I have to put that offuntil my work is done.
And I really want to let thatgo.
It is such a struggle for me.
I don't know why I'm holding onto that so tight.
(22:12):
Like even the holiday, I wantedto come home and get something
done.
SPEAKER_00 (22:17):
As long as I've known you, that's the way you've
been.
SPEAKER_02 (22:19):
I know.
I do I when we had started theconversation this morning, I
really I don't know how to restunless we're gone.
Like when we do our trip toGrand Cayman, I don't have a
problem resting then.
SPEAKER_00 (22:37):
Of late, that trip has been the most rejuvenating,
the most fulfilling rest that Ican ever remember.
SPEAKER_02 (22:49):
So why don't we do that more?
Not not that we have to go toGrand Cayman.
Why don't you and I uh uh dothat more often?
Because in the busy season iswhen we need that even more.
SPEAKER_00 (23:07):
Like I have said, I need to do things that are
fulfilling, and that being, youknow, reading, writing,
stimulating my brain andfulfilling my soul's purpose.
But we get so busy in the busywork that we have got to uh
create a time for me, it's goingto be in the morning because of
(23:32):
late, I don't know why we'rewaking up at two o'clock in the
morning, but that needs to be atime of gratitude, a time of
fulfillment, and I'm going tostart writing again and reading
and just having something tointellectually stimulate myself.
(23:55):
Because when we're here, we justhave to work.
That's all we do.
We see the work.
And I know that is every farmfamily.
You're at home, all you do iswork because there's there's so
much work to do.
I say to you all the time, thework will still be there for
you, you just cannot not see it.
SPEAKER_02 (24:13):
I really, really want to figure out how to rest
at home, how to enjoy my time atand I shouldn't say enjoy,
because there's a lot of thingsthat I do that I enjoy at home,
but they would all be consideredworking.
(24:34):
Like gardening to me, I lovegardening.
SPEAKER_00 (24:38):
But for you, you have always said, Well, that's
something I enjoy.
I gotta do my work first.
Yeah, the work will always bethere.
SPEAKER_02 (24:44):
Because I feel like I, you know, like get called out
or in trouble for not doing mywork and getting my work done.
Because I could seriouslygarden, like I could go out in
the greenhouse right now and dostuff, but I don't let myself.
(25:05):
And it's not a constraint you'reputting on me.
I know it's it's so ingrained inme.
SPEAKER_00 (25:15):
You're driven so much driven by a schedule
because of residency and becauseof being a doctor, and now there
is no schedule, and I've I'vetalked with you about this.
Like it's just from one thing tothe next year.
You don't have a set schedule.
SPEAKER_02 (25:36):
And well, and I'm trying to do so many things.
SPEAKER_00 (25:41):
Right.
So then you're cramming all ofthis into such a tight schedule,
tight window, that you need tocreate your time.
And and that might I've beensaying to you that like when you
were doctoring, you would go tothe hospital, and that was your
time to do your job, quoteunquote job.
(26:01):
Well, what is your job now?
You need to create your job nowand take that time and set it
aside for that.
Because when you were doctoring,the dishes and the laundry and
cleaning the house, all of thatwas still there.
You just weren't at home.
Now you're just at home all thetime.
(26:22):
So you jump from being on a Zoomcall to doing dishes to you know
going and working on Dr.
Leah Farms to jumping into that.
Like you just don't set asidenow that time to focus on one
thing.
SPEAKER_02 (26:44):
No, it's really like five things at once.
SPEAKER_00 (26:48):
Because you used to tell me you were such a good
multitasker.
I call bullshit.
Nobody could multitask.
You can't accomplish to the thebest of your ability one task
and task two at the same time.
You can do two things at onetime, but neither one of them
are gonna get your best effort.
SPEAKER_02 (27:11):
And that that is that is mediocrity and
complacency.
And that's where I feel likeI've been.
Like I feel like I'm not doinganything well, and maybe that's
why it feels so unfulfillingbecause I'm trying to do so much
at one time and neveraccomplishing what I really
(27:35):
want.
Ever.
SPEAKER_00 (27:38):
That is the one thing I've heard from you, that
you are not getting to do whatyou want to do and the the
insane thing about it is that Iam the only one that's doing it
to myself.
SPEAKER_02 (27:52):
It isn't because I if I said, Jesse, I'm going to
do this today, that you would belike, No, you're not.
The only person I'm hearing thatfrom is me.
SPEAKER_00 (28:08):
So we wanted to talk about rest.
Um we're really not, but that'sokay.
It's gone down many differentpaths.
SPEAKER_02 (28:18):
Well, it's really a conversation of inability to
rest.
SPEAKER_00 (28:23):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (28:25):
Choosing rest.
SPEAKER_00 (28:26):
You've got to be okay resting.
And I'm not pointing at you, I'mjust saying people in general.
You have to be okay with rest.
I'm guilty of it.
Yesterday I was I don't know ifit's the weather and and I can
just I feel it and it just itpulls me down.
But I was sitting in a chairyesterday, and I just had to get
(28:50):
up and I had to go, I had to godo something.
I told myself I had to go do itthat day.
SPEAKER_02 (28:55):
You had to go run an errand.
I didn't have to, but I justwhile it was snowing and all by
yourself and I yeah, that's it'sI do it too.
SPEAKER_00 (29:07):
It's I feel like I have to go, go, go.
I have to do this.
I can't just sit here.
Why am I just sitting here?
I can go do something.
The problem is I was justsitting there.
You're bored.
Because I was doom scrolling.
SPEAKER_02 (29:24):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (29:25):
I wasn't stimulating my brain.
I wasn't intellectually thinkingabout anything.
Now, when I come out here to thebarn and I sit at the desk and
I'm out here by myself and I'mI'm working, I feel good because
I'm I'm thinking.
I'm I'm not just staring at theTV, staring at my phone,
(29:48):
whatever.
That to me is rejuvenating.
And that's probably why I get inthe house and I plop down and I
feel like I have to go somewherebecause I'm bored.
And then I end up not resting.
At all.
SPEAKER_02 (30:01):
And I don't sit down because then I don't want to get
up.
So I just go, go, go.
And I need to stop that too.
I'm tired of the TV.
I know I can't believe I'msaying that because it's been I
I like watching TV, but I thinkI it's more of a like that's
just always what we did when wedidn't have anything else to do.
SPEAKER_00 (30:24):
It's a numbing agent.
SPEAKER_02 (30:26):
Yeah.
And now I think, you know,younger people's version is doom
scrolling or binging on Netflix.
I guess that's watching TV, butI always want to like, I love
going on hikes.
Even in the winter.
Like going on a hike in the snowin the forest.
(30:46):
It's just awesome.
But I haven't been doing thateither.
Because I have too much work todo.
SPEAKER_00 (30:52):
I'm going to do this and I'm going to maybe challenge
you to do it.
On your lock screen of yourphone.
Mine is actually a picture of meand Lucy, and the next one is, I
think, of Henry or something.
But on your lock screen, putintentions.
So every time you open yourphone, I'm going to do it.
So you see, okay, today, andit's going to be every single
(31:15):
day.
I'm going to be grateful and Iam going to fill my cup.
Or put whatever couple promptsin there on your lock screen.
Every day you see it, how manythousands of times?
And probably one of them for meis going to be do not get on
social media today.
SPEAKER_02 (31:34):
For me, one of the things is to be present.
Because most of the time I'mjust planning my next thing.
As I'm doing one thing, I'mplanning the next thing, and
then I'm planning the nextthing.
And how I can get all of thesetasks in a sequence, most time
efficient, so I can get moredone.
Then I'm not truly present inany of it.
(31:56):
And that's not serving anyone,especially myself.
SPEAKER_00 (32:00):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (32:00):
It's just another box to check.
SPEAKER_00 (32:03):
So we're going to a coffee shop today?
SPEAKER_02 (32:05):
Yes, we are.
We are.
You and I are going to go to thecoffee shop today.
And we are going to work on oursoul's purpose.
And I'm not going to micromanagethe kids.
That's what mu probably one ofthe hardest things.
With them being home all thetime.
Like I feel like I have to keepthem on task.
So then I have one, you know,three people's schedules in
(32:28):
addition to mine to take careof.
I mean, they're they'reteenagers.
Like they're pretty good atgetting things done if they want
to, sometimes.
Me micromanaging them, I thinkkeeps them in that cycle.
(32:49):
They don't want to have theproductivity hamster wheel like
I have.
They see it in me.
It's like they resist it forthemselves, even though they're
starting to repeat the habits,especially the girls, Lucy,
especially.
At this point, I can't, I haveto stop micromanaging.
It's not serving anybody, it'snot making anybody feel better.
SPEAKER_00 (33:13):
In the mile long list, doing this.
You like lists.
SPEAKER_02 (33:17):
A lot of like productivity, because I have
studied productivity.
I can't even tell you how much,how many hours I've studied
productivity, and I still listento podcasts, and I all of it.
They say pick three things thatyou're going to work on today.
What do you think I did?
Three, that's not enough.
I'm gonna do five.
(33:37):
And then I make my list and Ican't get it down to five.
So then it might as well beeight to ten.
So stupid.
Uh so you I don't want it to beanymore, though.
I wanna, I I want that to begone because it's exhausting and
it's getting me nowhere exceptbusy.
(34:02):
I'm just busy.
I'm not really creating becauseI'm not.
I'm not creating meals.
I'm not creating Dr.
Leah Farms.
I'm not creating what I want.
And the only person keeping mefrom that is myself from the
(34:22):
busy work.
Do any of you feel like this?
And I think a lot of it, this isgonna sound, you know, kind of
woo.
Women are trying to shovethemselves into a masculine role
when all we need to do isembrace our feminine, our love
(34:43):
and comfort and care, and stopthe productivity and shoving it
down our throats and trying tofit into this male model that we
were never meant to be in.
We have a better way that we cando it, ladies.
And right now, I'm trying tofigure that out for me because
(35:05):
the masculine model led me to aplace in my life I don't ever
want to return to.
And I need to change my idea ofsuccess and what it means from a
feminine aspect, not from thetitles and recognition that I
attained, because I goteverything that I always dreamt
(35:27):
I wanted.
And I was miserable.
SPEAKER_00 (35:35):
Just had to attain the next thing.
SPEAKER_02 (35:38):
So, this is a fun journey of where we get to go
together, honey.
You poor guy.
What is my idea of success witha feminine spin?
Can I create and enjoy the lifeand design and curate the life
(36:00):
that I really want that issuccess to me, not what I've
always been told it should be.
And can I help other women findtheir path and what success and
being their own woman would be?
It's not all gonna happen today,but my first step is going to
(36:24):
the frickin' coffee shop.
It feels guilty and shameful, itactually feels shameful.
A coffee shop.
Shameful.
SPEAKER_00 (36:34):
It's because of the world of productivity that we
live in, and farm kids, we gottado all this work, and but your
soul has a purpose, and you needto let that purpose come out.
We all do, and that's what I'msaying for me.
Like, I need to let my soul'spurpose come out and focus on
some of the other things and letthe farm happen and because it
(36:59):
can survive.
SPEAKER_02 (37:00):
I think that the maybe the scary thing for both
of us is that it will probablythrive without us being there.
And what does that mean aboutus?
SPEAKER_00 (37:17):
But it's gonna take us probably doing the other
things outside of the busy workfor it to thrive.
That's the point.
We need to quit being so busyand keeping ourselves busy and
avoiding our soul's purpose,which will then fulfill us, fill
your cup, and we'll thehappiness will come with that.
SPEAKER_02 (37:38):
This is gonna be uncomfortable for us, but it I'm
excited like to go to a coffeeshop in the middle of the day,
except when we travel, I don'tthink we've done that.
I mean, we used to meet forlunch, but I don't think we've
ever even done it.
Not one time.
Have we ever just in the middleof the day said, hey, let's go
(38:00):
read a book at the coffee shop?
Because it feels shameful.
I'm releasing that.
I'm I want to say I'm gonnarelease it today, but I'm not
I'm not that's unrealistic.
I'm gonna work on the release ofthe shame to sit and work on my
(38:22):
soul's purpose.
SPEAKER_00 (38:23):
When you say that, what does that sound like to
you?
SPEAKER_02 (38:28):
Stupidity and insanity.
I know it's no wonder I've beenin so re so much resistance.
SPEAKER_00 (38:40):
We all have a our our souls all have a purpose
here on this earth.
And it it'll change over time,probably.
SPEAKER_02 (38:48):
It'll grow.
SPEAKER_00 (38:50):
Right.
If you don't embrace your soul'spurpose and let it come out and
act on it, you're not fillingyour cup.
SPEAKER_02 (39:01):
Actually, worse, you're you are creating your
hell here on earth.
Because life really could beenjoyed.
SPEAKER_00 (39:12):
What if you're making it heaven on earth?
SPEAKER_02 (39:15):
Exactly.
Well, isn't that what workingtowards your sole purpose is?
So when you don't and you'restuck in the muck, you're
actually creating that foryourself.
Like I'm I'm saying that to you,but I'm saying it to me.
SPEAKER_00 (39:32):
Well, I'm ready for a cup of coffee.
SPEAKER_02 (39:35):
Are we gonna go now?
SPEAKER_00 (39:38):
So our advice to you today on this podcast is find
what is gonna help yourejuvenate.
Write it down, but have someintention to it, have put some
feeling to it.
SPEAKER_02 (39:53):
Well, and it's a like life is a journey, right?
So you don't have to have it allfigured out today.
But what is something you can dotoday that starts you on that
journey and breaks the habitualactions that you're doing every
day?
Because that's what the problemis.
(40:13):
Like we have habits that wecan't break out of because we
are in comfortable complacency.
Who knew that going to thecoffee shop in the middle of the
day would be so hard?
SPEAKER_00 (40:29):
So for you, find something that will bring joy to
your life, write it down, putsome feeling to it, put some
intention to it, and act on it.
When you write it down and thenyou see it, and if I put some
action in my phone on my lockscreen, I see that every day,
(40:52):
that's gonna remind me to dothat.
Write it down, because when youwrite things down, it one, it
puts it in your brain, puts itin your subconscious, and you're
gonna act on it more so than youwill if you just think it.
SPEAKER_02 (41:05):
And if you write it down and you say it out loud to
someone else, you actually usethree different processes in
your brain, and you're morelikely to make to make something
of it.
unknown (41:15):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (41:16):
So find your joy, and that will help rejuvenate
you.
And it's okay to do that.
It's okay to go to the coffeeshop and find that because that
that that is rest and relaxationand rejuvenation.
Rest and restoration.
So, as always, thank you forlistening.
(41:37):
Go find us on all of thesocials.
SPEAKER_02 (41:39):
At farmersgreatest asset.
SPEAKER_00 (41:42):
Um, send us an email, send us a message.
We like hearing from you.
Um, if there's something thatyou guys have found that has
helped you rest, let us know atfarmersgreatestasset at
gmail.com.
And remember, it is a good day.
SPEAKER_02 (41:59):
To have a great day.
Bye.
The Farmer's Greatest Asset Podcast.
We believe the Farm's GreatestAsset is the Farmer.
Their knowledge, experience,mind, and health.
(00:38):
Welcome to the podcast.
I'm Jesse.
SPEAKER_02 (00:41):
And I'm Dr.
Leah.
SPEAKER_00 (00:43):
Well, in our little intro, we actually say that we
believe that the farm's greatestasset is the farmer and their
health.
Right?
SPEAKER_02 (00:54):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (00:55):
We want to focus a little more today on your
health.
SPEAKER_02 (01:03):
Yeah.
Something that we came acrossrecently because we've been
trying to physically, mentally,emotionally take time and rest
in this season.
(01:24):
We realized we don't really knowwhat rest is.
SPEAKER_00 (01:31):
We don't know how to rest.
SPEAKER_02 (01:35):
I think that we all I have always thought, you know,
rest is basically, you know,hanging around, watching TV,
whatever.
I mean, that's what it used tobe for me.
And now I do a lot of scrolling.
But I'm kind of getting bored ofall of that.
(01:58):
And at night, you know, so manyof the productivity people or
you know, people who longevitypeople say you should, there's
the should word, uh, read 20minutes a day.
But to me, it's what I choose toread is too stimulating.
(02:19):
Like that's not what I like.
I don't want to get my mindgoing right before I want to go
to bed.
So then I just kind of havecontinue to watch TV.
SPEAKER_00 (02:31):
Well, when we talk about rest, are you talking
about going to bed and sleepingat night or actually taking a
day to rest and rejuvenate andrelax?
SPEAKER_02 (02:43):
Yes.
Both actually.
Those are two different topics,but two totally different
topics.
Right.
But I think two very importanttopics for health.
SPEAKER_00 (02:55):
So in our house, there there's like no weekends,
right, on a farm.
So in our house, there's there'snot a day.
If we get a weather day orsomething, or let's just say a
Sunday, like there's no suchthing as let's just take a day
of rest and relaxation andrejuvenation.
(03:16):
And it's in everybody's house.
There's always work to do,there's always laundry, there's
always all that to do.
Figuring out how to actuallyrest.
SPEAKER_02 (03:26):
I wonder if other people struggle with this as
much as we do.
So we were having thisconversation earlier because
physically, and I know you needrest physically at this point.
I know I need mental andemotional rest at this point in
my life.
Um, at this season.
SPEAKER_00 (03:49):
Lately I have been.
Maybe it's the weather turning.
I don't know, but lately I havebeen.
I just walked out the door thismorning and told Henry, I feel
blah.
Like just blah.
SPEAKER_02 (04:01):
I went back to keto a few days ago, right after
Thanksgiving, because Iovercarbed and felt like
garbage.
I did.
I had way too many carbs, Iguess.
I don't know.
And so I've been doing keto.
I feel like I have so much moremental clarity and I feel better
(04:25):
physically.
SPEAKER_00 (04:26):
So in the past helped me, but in the past, when
we needed a day to quote unquoterest, we would leave.
Leave the house.
And not that that's a bad thing.
We had to leave so we you wecould get you away from having
to clean the house or laundry ormaking meals or we have never,
(04:55):
since you and I have beenmarried, have been able to do
anything.
We used to have a boat that wewould take on the river, and you
I get it, you didn't like goingon the river because we had
littles.
SPEAKER_02 (05:10):
They were little little.
I mean, like we started takingthem out in in the car seat at
like four or five months old.
SPEAKER_00 (05:17):
They were little and it's the river, and it's a whole
different story out there, butum it was always I have such a
list of things I gotta do first.
You always have a list of thingsthat you have to do before you
will do anything.
And it's even like we areleaving for a conference this
week, and I bet you got a listof things you got to do.
(05:38):
Not the things that you gottapack and things you gotta get
ready to to pack, but I bet youhave a list of things you have
to do before we leave.
SPEAKER_02 (05:48):
So I actually don't this time.
I really don't.
That's a first.
It is a first.
I usually do, but I am reallymaking an intention of not
putting timelines on myselfanymore.
Like I had a huge realization,and it that in and of itself is
(06:12):
a long story, but a realizationof how much time scarcity I have
and how much deadlines I placeon myself in an effort to be
more productive, but then I endup just feeling like a failure
because I try and shove so muchinto a timeline that is so
(06:32):
unattainable.
Then I always feel like I'm notmeasuring up.
And so I finally was like, Ineed like with your help.
I mean, God bless you, Jesse.
You have been very patient withme sometimes.
SPEAKER_00 (06:49):
Some days.
SPEAKER_02 (06:51):
I mean, this is like 20 years in the making.
I mean, we've been togetheralmost 20 years.
And I realize I don't know whereor I I mean, I know it started
back in high school or earlier,as long as I can remember, like
the push and the grind and thepush and the grind, and more and
more and more and more.
And you know, it led me tomedical school.
(07:14):
It really gave me all of thisgood stuff to the point where I
became a complete workaholic andwas not even hardly sleeping and
putting it all on my plate.
SPEAKER_00 (07:26):
You still do.
SPEAKER_02 (07:27):
I do, and I'm I'm really, really putting effort
forth to change that.
One of my recent realizationswas I put a deadline on myself
to complete something that I asa goal that I set last New
Year's.
And it's at the time when I setthat goal, it felt like
(07:49):
something that I needed to do.
But I don't know because that'swhat other people, you know,
like it was creating a course,right?
Like, oh, I should do this, butI really don't want to do that
right now.
It just felt like something Ishould do, like I was shoulding
on myself.
And I put this really tighttimeline in and I was like, I'm
(08:12):
gonna get this done before theend of the year because I told
myself I would do it.
And so I created how I can getthat done in 30 days.
And then I stepped back and Iwas like, what am I doing?
Number one, do I really want todo this?
Number two, do I want to put allof my time and energy into this
(08:36):
during the holiday season when Ireally want to do fun stuff with
my family?
It was through your help andthrough one of my friends and a
women's mastermind that I'm partof, that it really made me
realize how much of that timeconstraint I'm putting on
(08:59):
myself.
And then I'm like, why?
SPEAKER_00 (09:02):
So Because creating that course is it, as you say,
filling your cup.
SPEAKER_02 (09:08):
No.
And who am I really serving withit, right?
SPEAKER_00 (09:11):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (09:11):
Like the people I want to serve are not gonna take
the time for a course becausethey already don't have time.
So it was a magical moment inthat time period.
Like, I think that went on forlike two or three weeks for me
(09:32):
to finally see why do I keepputting these time limits on
myself?
Because it's worked for me inthe past.
Like I had a deadline and Ipowered through and I got it
done, and it served me so much.
Like I'm trying to break thatmold.
But it's it's so ingrained inme.
Like it must have been how I gotall of my worth for 40 years
(09:59):
plus, because it is reallytaking time for me to break it.
But I am ready to slowly letthat go.
So this morning, when you'relike, Well, I asked you what you
were planning on doing for thefarm, and you said to me, Well,
what are your plans?
(10:20):
I was like, Well, we shouldprobably figure out what we're
gonna wear when we leave thisweekend.
So if we need to get laundrydone, it's done.
And besides packing, that's theonly thing I feel like I have to
get done.
This is a first.
SPEAKER_00 (10:38):
It is a first.
Because every morning you wakeup and ask me, what is the plan
on the farm?
And to be quite honest, I mean,I have an idea what what we're
gonna accomplish that day, butthat's just not how I operate, I
guess.
And that's just not how it workson the farm.
It's okay, we're gonna have Iknow I gotta get this done
(11:01):
today, and then it's kind ofworking out from there.
And I I don't maybe that is notthe correct way to accomplish
things on the farm, but that'sgenerally how it's how it
happens.
Let's see how it goes and seewhat the day brings.
SPEAKER_02 (11:17):
And I think that that's successful when you're
working in the business.
SPEAKER_00 (11:21):
But you always have such a timeline and it's go, go,
go, go, and and I that's justnot the way I am.
And I power through and we justtend to get things done, but I
don't I don't have a a list forthe day.
But maybe I should.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_02 (11:40):
I feel like we are in reaction a lot.
That's one thing that I kind ofdon't want.
When it comes to the farm, it'sit's really a lot.
I need to see what you'replanning so I know if I'm going
you're going to need me to do aB or C or I plan my day.
(12:00):
Like, are you gonna be in thefield?
If so, then I have to get lunchto you and it takes this much
time, and so I have this muchother time, and it's all about
time.
There isn't like a, oh, youknow, 10 o'clock ish, whether
they're in the field or not.
Um either I or someone elseneeds to start making lunch so
(12:22):
it's ready for us to eat, andthen we'll clean up.
SPEAKER_01 (12:25):
It feels like, uh, something I gotta do.
Oh, I gotta get this done.
Oh, I gotta get this done.
I only have this much time.
SPEAKER_02 (12:33):
Ah it's so much stress.
It's no one, like I feel likeI'm constantly in reaction
because of the time limitation.
Like even talking about it rightnow makes me feel really
uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_00 (12:48):
I can feel it.
It's like, ah, just back off.
SPEAKER_02 (12:53):
Like, I've been doing this for probably 40 plus
years, probably since I was 10or or younger, because achieving
was uh I got positive reward forthat from somebody or from
multiple people.
Hard worker was always a hugething.
(13:13):
Like it was my identity.
I still love it, I still likebeing told I'm a hard worker.
SPEAKER_00 (13:21):
Well, that's a farm kid thing, right?
We really hold on to that workethic.
We have that work ethic becausewe grew up on a farm, and not
that that's a bad thing.
And use it to your advantage,absolutely.
But to our point today, we'vegot to figure out how to rest.
SPEAKER_02 (13:41):
We gotta figure out how to enjoy, like bring joy
into the day.
SPEAKER_00 (13:48):
For me, like I said earlier, I just I've been
feeling blah, and I have been sobad at just vegging out with TV,
uh, my phone, Facebook, youknow, whatever.
And none of that is my soul'spurpose.
(14:09):
None of that is fulfilling, noneof that is filling my cup.
None of that is restoration,none of that is restoration,
none of that is stimulating mybrain intellectually.
It's all just zoning out, it'snumbing.
Numbing out.
(14:29):
And that's why I feel so blah.
And that literally, I mean, Irealized that this morning.
Like, I have such a hard timenot picking up my phone.
It's just a bad habit.
It's that dopamine hit, and wetalk about it all the time.
Put the phone down, and and thatis the first step.
For me, I need to I need to feelrejuvenated, and I need to read
(14:56):
something, whether it be amagazine or an article, or you
know, a good book, or somethingthat that makes me think and
makes my my brain think aboutsomething rather than just
numbing up.
SPEAKER_02 (15:15):
So here's a question for you.
If I said to you, okay, Jesse,when we're done with this
podcast, we're going to get itall ready, and then you and I
are going to go to a coffee shopand work on something fulfilling
(15:38):
for two hours.
SPEAKER_00 (15:40):
Well, right now coffee sounds really good.
So, yes.
SPEAKER_02 (15:47):
Um, how does that make you feel?
Like, does it feel like that issomething you can do in the
middle of the day?
SPEAKER_00 (15:56):
No, that's not something I do.
Well it's something I need todo.
SPEAKER_02 (16:02):
Why does that not why does why do you feel like
that is not something you cando?
SPEAKER_00 (16:07):
It's a farm kid work ethic thing, just gotta go out
and do it.
Gotta go work.
SPEAKER_02 (16:13):
Will you enjoy it?
Is it the like would you enjoytaking that time to go do
something for your soul'spurpose?
SPEAKER_00 (16:22):
Sitting here thinking about it, yes.
Like, because I know there arethings that we need to
accomplish with the farmer'sgreatest asset and Dr.
Leah Farms and you and I, like,so I know there are things that
I need to focus on that willstimulate me intellectually.
So thinking about that, it'slike, yes, that is exactly what
I need.
SPEAKER_02 (16:42):
Stepping, stepping away for a second and being able
to focus on that stuff and writeand read and what if you give
your employees their tasks forthe day and you go there and you
and I are there together becausewe like to work together and
bounce things off of each other,and you turn your phone off.
(17:06):
How does that feel?
SPEAKER_00 (17:08):
Well, I can remember when I worked for Zimmer.
So Zimmer is an orthopedicimplant company, and I was the
rep that would go into surgery,and my area was this southeast
Iowa area, so I covered mainlyFort Madison, Burlington, and
then I was supposed to coverlike Mount Pleasant and Van
Buren County and some hospitalsover there.
(17:29):
And one day I so back up, I hadthis was back in oh five.
SPEAKER_02 (17:36):
Five.
SPEAKER_00 (17:38):
If y'all remember the BlackBerry.
I had a Blackberry, they gave mea Blackberry phone, and I also
had to have a pager.
So they wanted to get a hold ofme because I was also supposed
to bring in trauma products fortrauma surgeries.
Um, but the point is that theywanted to get a hold of me at
(18:01):
all times.
So I went over to Van BurenCounty, and cell service is
terrible, probably still is overthere.
And I was just over there, youknow, went into the hospital and
met with some nurses and metwith some doctors and just over
there.
I was probably gone all morningor whatever it was.
And like I got halfway back toFort Madison, my my phone is
(18:27):
just like blowing up with emailsand text and phone calls.
And I got the first phone call,and I thought, man, that was a
really nice morning.
I didn't have a single phonecall.
It was my boss, he's like, Whereare you been?
I was like, I've been over inVan Buren County.
So then he kind of chilled outbecause I was doing your job,
(18:48):
quote unquote working.
So, but I remember that feelinglike, man, that was that was
alright.
I didn't have a single phonecall, my pager didn't go off
once.
And even now, my phone goes offall of the time.
You say it, the kids say it, theguys say it like your phone is
(19:10):
just nonstop, and it is, it'sit's annoying.
But like I've said, that's justrunning a business.
So the idea of not having aphone, yes, that is refreshing.
And I so I'm bad at it too.
I'm trying to call you and youdon't answer.
And 99% of the time, whathappens is you call me, I miss
(19:32):
it.
I try calling you back likeinstantly, and then you don't
answer.
It's like you just called me.
Why are you answering?
So I'm bad at it too.
Like, we live in the world thatwe have to get a hold of
somebody now.
And how did we operate 25 yearsago plus?
SPEAKER_02 (19:53):
And less reaction, less reaction.
We had the day was more yourown.
I mean, so 20 years ago, 25years ago, I was in residency.
Like my life was insane.
Right.
I don't know that it was worsethan private practice with
(20:14):
babies, but I think that there,like I think about how my life
was in medical school where Ihad to, I I went to class and I
learned, and I I legitimatelystudied 12 to 14 hours a day.
I was either in class oractually it was probably more
(20:36):
like 16 to 18.
I was in class, or we were at acoffee shop studying, or I was
with my friend studying, or Imean, I was constantly studying,
and I I actually loved it.
Like I love learning things, butit also became too much as well.
When did all of that change?
Like that being okay in my mind,okay to take that time to learn
(21:04):
and to take the time.
SPEAKER_00 (21:07):
Well, at the time when you were in medical school,
that was your job.
Right.
So you had to focus intently onit, and that's that's you.
When you get on something, youlaser focused and you're gonna
do it.
SPEAKER_02 (21:19):
And so for me, when we this morning we were talking
about going to a coffee shop, Ihave guilt.
unknown (21:25):
Yep.
SPEAKER_00 (21:26):
So do I.
Because if we're not there, theones doing the work, then that
is how it's been for me.
Like, if you're not therealongside of your employees,
then things aren't happening.
Well, that's not true.
I don't I don't hire employees,so I do all the work.
We have employees so they canaccomplish tasks as we go
(21:50):
accomplish other things.
SPEAKER_02 (21:52):
Why is there guilt?
I have a hard time enjoyingthings because I feel like I
have to I have to put that offuntil my work is done.
And I really want to let thatgo.
It is such a struggle for me.
I don't know why I'm holding onto that so tight.
(22:12):
Like even the holiday, I wantedto come home and get something
done.
SPEAKER_00 (22:17):
As long as I've known you, that's the way you've
been.
SPEAKER_02 (22:19):
I know.
I do I when we had started theconversation this morning, I
really I don't know how to restunless we're gone.
Like when we do our trip toGrand Cayman, I don't have a
problem resting then.
SPEAKER_00 (22:37):
Of late, that trip has been the most rejuvenating,
the most fulfilling rest that Ican ever remember.
SPEAKER_02 (22:49):
So why don't we do that more?
Not not that we have to go toGrand Cayman.
Why don't you and I uh uh dothat more often?
Because in the busy season iswhen we need that even more.
SPEAKER_00 (23:07):
Like I have said, I need to do things that are
fulfilling, and that being, youknow, reading, writing,
stimulating my brain andfulfilling my soul's purpose.
But we get so busy in the busywork that we have got to uh
create a time for me, it's goingto be in the morning because of
(23:32):
late, I don't know why we'rewaking up at two o'clock in the
morning, but that needs to be atime of gratitude, a time of
fulfillment, and I'm going tostart writing again and reading
and just having something tointellectually stimulate myself.
(23:55):
Because when we're here, we justhave to work.
That's all we do.
We see the work.
And I know that is every farmfamily.
You're at home, all you do iswork because there's there's so
much work to do.
I say to you all the time, thework will still be there for
you, you just cannot not see it.
SPEAKER_02 (24:13):
I really, really want to figure out how to rest
at home, how to enjoy my time atand I shouldn't say enjoy,
because there's a lot of thingsthat I do that I enjoy at home,
but they would all be consideredworking.
(24:34):
Like gardening to me, I lovegardening.
SPEAKER_00 (24:38):
But for you, you have always said, Well, that's
something I enjoy.
I gotta do my work first.
Yeah, the work will always bethere.
SPEAKER_02 (24:44):
Because I feel like I, you know, like get called out
or in trouble for not doing mywork and getting my work done.
Because I could seriouslygarden, like I could go out in
the greenhouse right now and dostuff, but I don't let myself.
(25:05):
And it's not a constraint you'reputting on me.
I know it's it's so ingrained inme.
SPEAKER_00 (25:15):
You're driven so much driven by a schedule
because of residency and becauseof being a doctor, and now there
is no schedule, and I've I'vetalked with you about this.
Like it's just from one thing tothe next year.
You don't have a set schedule.
SPEAKER_02 (25:36):
And well, and I'm trying to do so many things.
SPEAKER_00 (25:41):
Right.
So then you're cramming all ofthis into such a tight schedule,
tight window, that you need tocreate your time.
And and that might I've beensaying to you that like when you
were doctoring, you would go tothe hospital, and that was your
time to do your job, quoteunquote job.
(26:01):
Well, what is your job now?
You need to create your job nowand take that time and set it
aside for that.
Because when you were doctoring,the dishes and the laundry and
cleaning the house, all of thatwas still there.
You just weren't at home.
Now you're just at home all thetime.
(26:22):
So you jump from being on a Zoomcall to doing dishes to you know
going and working on Dr.
Leah Farms to jumping into that.
Like you just don't set asidenow that time to focus on one
thing.
SPEAKER_02 (26:44):
No, it's really like five things at once.
SPEAKER_00 (26:48):
Because you used to tell me you were such a good
multitasker.
I call bullshit.
Nobody could multitask.
You can't accomplish to the thebest of your ability one task
and task two at the same time.
You can do two things at onetime, but neither one of them
are gonna get your best effort.
SPEAKER_02 (27:11):
And that that is that is mediocrity and
complacency.
And that's where I feel likeI've been.
Like I feel like I'm not doinganything well, and maybe that's
why it feels so unfulfillingbecause I'm trying to do so much
at one time and neveraccomplishing what I really
(27:35):
want.
Ever.
SPEAKER_00 (27:38):
That is the one thing I've heard from you, that
you are not getting to do whatyou want to do and the the
insane thing about it is that Iam the only one that's doing it
to myself.
SPEAKER_02 (27:52):
It isn't because I if I said, Jesse, I'm going to
do this today, that you would belike, No, you're not.
The only person I'm hearing thatfrom is me.
SPEAKER_00 (28:08):
So we wanted to talk about rest.
Um we're really not, but that'sokay.
It's gone down many differentpaths.
SPEAKER_02 (28:18):
Well, it's really a conversation of inability to
rest.
SPEAKER_00 (28:23):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (28:25):
Choosing rest.
SPEAKER_00 (28:26):
You've got to be okay resting.
And I'm not pointing at you, I'mjust saying people in general.
You have to be okay with rest.
I'm guilty of it.
Yesterday I was I don't know ifit's the weather and and I can
just I feel it and it just itpulls me down.
But I was sitting in a chairyesterday, and I just had to get
(28:50):
up and I had to go, I had to godo something.
I told myself I had to go do itthat day.
SPEAKER_02 (28:55):
You had to go run an errand.
I didn't have to, but I justwhile it was snowing and all by
yourself and I yeah, that's it'sI do it too.
SPEAKER_00 (29:07):
It's I feel like I have to go, go, go.
I have to do this.
I can't just sit here.
Why am I just sitting here?
I can go do something.
The problem is I was justsitting there.
You're bored.
Because I was doom scrolling.
SPEAKER_02 (29:24):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (29:25):
I wasn't stimulating my brain.
I wasn't intellectually thinkingabout anything.
Now, when I come out here to thebarn and I sit at the desk and
I'm out here by myself and I'mI'm working, I feel good because
I'm I'm thinking.
I'm I'm not just staring at theTV, staring at my phone,
(29:48):
whatever.
That to me is rejuvenating.
And that's probably why I get inthe house and I plop down and I
feel like I have to go somewherebecause I'm bored.
And then I end up not resting.
At all.
SPEAKER_02 (30:01):
And I don't sit down because then I don't want to get
up.
So I just go, go, go.
And I need to stop that too.
I'm tired of the TV.
I know I can't believe I'msaying that because it's been I
I like watching TV, but I thinkI it's more of a like that's
just always what we did when wedidn't have anything else to do.
SPEAKER_00 (30:24):
It's a numbing agent.
SPEAKER_02 (30:26):
Yeah.
And now I think, you know,younger people's version is doom
scrolling or binging on Netflix.
I guess that's watching TV, butI always want to like, I love
going on hikes.
Even in the winter.
Like going on a hike in the snowin the forest.
(30:46):
It's just awesome.
But I haven't been doing thateither.
Because I have too much work todo.
SPEAKER_00 (30:52):
I'm going to do this and I'm going to maybe challenge
you to do it.
On your lock screen of yourphone.
Mine is actually a picture of meand Lucy, and the next one is, I
think, of Henry or something.
But on your lock screen, putintentions.
So every time you open yourphone, I'm going to do it.
So you see, okay, today, andit's going to be every single
(31:15):
day.
I'm going to be grateful and Iam going to fill my cup.
Or put whatever couple promptsin there on your lock screen.
Every day you see it, how manythousands of times?
And probably one of them for meis going to be do not get on
social media today.
SPEAKER_02 (31:34):
For me, one of the things is to be present.
Because most of the time I'mjust planning my next thing.
As I'm doing one thing, I'mplanning the next thing, and
then I'm planning the nextthing.
And how I can get all of thesetasks in a sequence, most time
efficient, so I can get moredone.
Then I'm not truly present inany of it.
(31:56):
And that's not serving anyone,especially myself.
SPEAKER_00 (32:00):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (32:00):
It's just another box to check.
SPEAKER_00 (32:03):
So we're going to a coffee shop today?
SPEAKER_02 (32:05):
Yes, we are.
We are.
You and I are going to go to thecoffee shop today.
And we are going to work on oursoul's purpose.
And I'm not going to micromanagethe kids.
That's what mu probably one ofthe hardest things.
With them being home all thetime.
Like I feel like I have to keepthem on task.
So then I have one, you know,three people's schedules in
(32:28):
addition to mine to take careof.
I mean, they're they'reteenagers.
Like they're pretty good atgetting things done if they want
to, sometimes.
Me micromanaging them, I thinkkeeps them in that cycle.
(32:49):
They don't want to have theproductivity hamster wheel like
I have.
They see it in me.
It's like they resist it forthemselves, even though they're
starting to repeat the habits,especially the girls, Lucy,
especially.
At this point, I can't, I haveto stop micromanaging.
It's not serving anybody, it'snot making anybody feel better.
SPEAKER_00 (33:13):
In the mile long list, doing this.
You like lists.
SPEAKER_02 (33:17):
A lot of like productivity, because I have
studied productivity.
I can't even tell you how much,how many hours I've studied
productivity, and I still listento podcasts, and I all of it.
They say pick three things thatyou're going to work on today.
What do you think I did?
Three, that's not enough.
I'm gonna do five.
(33:37):
And then I make my list and Ican't get it down to five.
So then it might as well beeight to ten.
So stupid.
Uh so you I don't want it to beanymore, though.
I wanna, I I want that to begone because it's exhausting and
it's getting me nowhere exceptbusy.
(34:02):
I'm just busy.
I'm not really creating becauseI'm not.
I'm not creating meals.
I'm not creating Dr.
Leah Farms.
I'm not creating what I want.
And the only person keeping mefrom that is myself from the
(34:22):
busy work.
Do any of you feel like this?
And I think a lot of it, this isgonna sound, you know, kind of
woo.
Women are trying to shovethemselves into a masculine role
when all we need to do isembrace our feminine, our love
(34:43):
and comfort and care, and stopthe productivity and shoving it
down our throats and trying tofit into this male model that we
were never meant to be in.
We have a better way that we cando it, ladies.
And right now, I'm trying tofigure that out for me because
(35:05):
the masculine model led me to aplace in my life I don't ever
want to return to.
And I need to change my idea ofsuccess and what it means from a
feminine aspect, not from thetitles and recognition that I
attained, because I goteverything that I always dreamt
(35:27):
I wanted.
And I was miserable.
SPEAKER_00 (35:35):
Just had to attain the next thing.
SPEAKER_02 (35:38):
So, this is a fun journey of where we get to go
together, honey.
You poor guy.
What is my idea of success witha feminine spin?
Can I create and enjoy the lifeand design and curate the life
(36:00):
that I really want that issuccess to me, not what I've
always been told it should be.
And can I help other women findtheir path and what success and
being their own woman would be?
It's not all gonna happen today,but my first step is going to
(36:24):
the frickin' coffee shop.
It feels guilty and shameful, itactually feels shameful.
A coffee shop.
Shameful.
SPEAKER_00 (36:34):
It's because of the world of productivity that we
live in, and farm kids, we gottado all this work, and but your
soul has a purpose, and you needto let that purpose come out.
We all do, and that's what I'msaying for me.
Like, I need to let my soul'spurpose come out and focus on
some of the other things and letthe farm happen and because it
(36:59):
can survive.
SPEAKER_02 (37:00):
I think that the maybe the scary thing for both
of us is that it will probablythrive without us being there.
And what does that mean aboutus?
SPEAKER_00 (37:17):
But it's gonna take us probably doing the other
things outside of the busy workfor it to thrive.
That's the point.
We need to quit being so busyand keeping ourselves busy and
avoiding our soul's purpose,which will then fulfill us, fill
your cup, and we'll thehappiness will come with that.
SPEAKER_02 (37:38):
This is gonna be uncomfortable for us, but it I'm
excited like to go to a coffeeshop in the middle of the day,
except when we travel, I don'tthink we've done that.
I mean, we used to meet forlunch, but I don't think we've
ever even done it.
Not one time.
Have we ever just in the middleof the day said, hey, let's go
(38:00):
read a book at the coffee shop?
Because it feels shameful.
I'm releasing that.
I'm I want to say I'm gonnarelease it today, but I'm not
I'm not that's unrealistic.
I'm gonna work on the release ofthe shame to sit and work on my
(38:22):
soul's purpose.
SPEAKER_00 (38:23):
When you say that, what does that sound like to
you?
SPEAKER_02 (38:28):
Stupidity and insanity.
I know it's no wonder I've beenin so re so much resistance.
SPEAKER_00 (38:40):
We all have a our our souls all have a purpose
here on this earth.
And it it'll change over time,probably.
SPEAKER_02 (38:48):
It'll grow.
SPEAKER_00 (38:50):
Right.
If you don't embrace your soul'spurpose and let it come out and
act on it, you're not fillingyour cup.
SPEAKER_02 (39:01):
Actually, worse, you're you are creating your
hell here on earth.
Because life really could beenjoyed.
SPEAKER_00 (39:12):
What if you're making it heaven on earth?
SPEAKER_02 (39:15):
Exactly.
Well, isn't that what workingtowards your sole purpose is?
So when you don't and you'restuck in the muck, you're
actually creating that foryourself.
Like I'm I'm saying that to you,but I'm saying it to me.
SPEAKER_00 (39:32):
Well, I'm ready for a cup of coffee.
SPEAKER_02 (39:35):
Are we gonna go now?
SPEAKER_00 (39:38):
So our advice to you today on this podcast is find
what is gonna help yourejuvenate.
Write it down, but have someintention to it, have put some
feeling to it.
SPEAKER_02 (39:53):
Well, and it's a like life is a journey, right?
So you don't have to have it allfigured out today.
But what is something you can dotoday that starts you on that
journey and breaks the habitualactions that you're doing every
day?
Because that's what the problemis.
(40:13):
Like we have habits that wecan't break out of because we
are in comfortable complacency.
Who knew that going to thecoffee shop in the middle of the
day would be so hard?
SPEAKER_00 (40:29):
So for you, find something that will bring joy to
your life, write it down, putsome feeling to it, put some
intention to it, and act on it.
When you write it down and thenyou see it, and if I put some
action in my phone on my lockscreen, I see that every day,
(40:52):
that's gonna remind me to dothat.
Write it down, because when youwrite things down, it one, it
puts it in your brain, puts itin your subconscious, and you're
gonna act on it more so than youwill if you just think it.
SPEAKER_02 (41:05):
And if you write it down and you say it out loud to
someone else, you actually usethree different processes in
your brain, and you're morelikely to make to make something
of it.
unknown (41:15):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (41:16):
So find your joy, and that will help rejuvenate
you.
And it's okay to do that.
It's okay to go to the coffeeshop and find that because that
that that is rest and relaxationand rejuvenation.
Rest and restoration.
So, as always, thank you forlistening.
(41:37):
Go find us on all of thesocials.
SPEAKER_02 (41:39):
At farmersgreatest asset.
SPEAKER_00 (41:42):
Um, send us an email, send us a message.
We like hearing from you.
Um, if there's something thatyou guys have found that has
helped you rest, let us know atfarmersgreatestasset at
gmail.com.
And remember, it is a good day.
SPEAKER_02 (41:59):
To have a great day.
Bye.
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