February 25, 2025 • 53 mins
We explore how a father’s identity in God reshapes his marriage and parenting, and then delve into practical ways to recapture his daughter’s heart through humility, listening, and genuine apologies. A moving reunion story shows why it’s never too late to repair trust and end bitterness.
• Mission to equip men to lead with love and faith
• Early family scripts that distort how we hear women
• Identity as God’s beloved son as the foundation
• Daughters’ core needs to be seen, heard, and celebrated
• Moving from casual sorry to specific forgiveness
• Guarding the family garden against bitterness
• Modeling over managing and presence over perfection
• Story of reconciliation that restores generations
• Prayer, coaching, and ongoing pursuit of connection
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
What kind of father do you want to be?
What kind of man do you want tobecome for your family and for
yourself?
If you've ever wondered how tostep into the fullness of your
role as a father, husband, andman of God, then you're in the
right place.
Here at the Father Difference,our mission is to inspire and
equip men to be the best fathersthey can be.
(00:23):
It's a powerful mission.
And today, we're going toexplore exactly how you can take
steps toward that calling.
Whether you're a father, a son,a husband, grandfather, single
dad, stepfather, or just lookingto grow, I believe God has
something powerful for you intoday's message.
(00:44):
Whether you're tuning in live orwatching this later, we are so
excited to have you here.
If this is what you're lookingfor, then subscribe so you can
tune in each week to the FatherDifference Live.
You can sign up below.
And now your host, a husband,father, grandfather, author, and
(01:04):
former NFL player, Pastor EdMcGlass.
SPEAKER_01 (01:20):
As uh we are gonna, you know, as a bunch of guys,
and we've got some gals with usas well, is we're gonna jump
into the world of a woman'sheart and learn how to maybe
recapture the heart of yourdaughters.
Maybe you're married, and guys,you want to learn how to
recapture the heart of yourwife.
(01:41):
And if you're a gal that'swatching this, you just you're
just kind of secret on a missionto uh maybe learn some things
that even help your husband, youknow, navigate with the amazing
heart that God gives every mom,every woman, every bride to be,
(02:02):
and every single mom.
You know, we have far too manysingle mothers out there.
So I'm your host, Ed TenMcGlass, and it's great to be
with you tonight.
And so we're gonna get rightinto this whole aspect of how to
capture the heart of yourdaughter, dads, and keep it over
a lifetime.
(02:24):
So, what would you say?
I'd love a bunch of commentsright now to start going.
If if there was a question thatuh you might have about this
subject, I would love to hearfrom you.
Matter of fact, I was with abunch of guides today, early
today, and we were actuallytalking about marriage and about
(02:46):
wives and about how to navigatethat that story.
But before I get there, I wantto give you a little bit of my
history in my family.
You know, I've been married formany moons to just an incredible
uh girl that I met on a blinddate.
(03:06):
I proposed in the third week,and we now have been together.
Boy, we have been together formany, many years.
At 42 years, we've been married,loving each other, ups and
downs.
And I would say probably the theone who's had to change the most
(03:27):
is me.
I mean, he here's here's me onmy wedding day as Jill's walking
down the aisle, and I am playinga song.
Probably the most nervous songthat I ever played in my life.
My uh the the church is filledwith uh lots of the Los Angeles
(03:48):
Rams family, friends.
And I'm singing a little songcalled Every Little Beat of My
Heart draws me closer and closerto you.
But it was it was a reallyunique uh ceremony, and and the
Jill walked down, and after we,you know, spent a few moments as
the pastor, as you know, whowill, you know, give Jill to be
(04:11):
married to Ed, and your father,you know, gives her a kiss and
hands her to me, and we walk upto the altar, and we plan this
out, and we both then turnedaround with the microphone and
said, now before we get married,we would like to share our
stories about how we met Jesus.
(04:33):
And why?
Because I had all kinds ofunbelievers here in the wedding.
And so Jill went first andshared her story, and then I
did.
And and then we had a had thepastor there give people an
opportunity to respond toChrist.
And a number of football playerfriends of mine, we had the
(04:57):
owner for the Rams there, andthen I my stepdad was in the
crowd, he raised his hand andsaid yes to Jesus.
What a what a great moment, whata great beginning for Jill and
I.
And I I I quite honestly, youknow, to be honest with you, I
um, you know, I was I was reallynervous on that wedding day, but
(05:22):
you know, I knew how to getmarried, but as a guy I didn't
know how to be married to agirl.
Because I found out ratherquickly that my wife and my
daughters and my granddaughters,they all they all live in this
amazing estrogen river.
(05:45):
And to most of us, mortal men,we're very mortal, we're not
immortal.
When it comes to learning how tolove a girl in your life,
there's just a lot of questionsabout how do you do it and how
do you press in.
Because one of the things thatevery daughter has, and that's
this incredible ability to buildrelationships, to connect, and
(06:11):
you know, the the you know,let's face it, guys, girls are
equipped with so many moretools, it seems like, to build
relationships that than we areas men.
Matter of fact, when I'm andthis happens to my wife, you
know, it, you know, she's Iwon't tell you her exact age,
(06:32):
but we're we're over 60 yearsold.
When she sees a girlfriend thatshe hasn't seen in a long time,
it's like, oh my gosh, I'mlooking at I mean, it's like
they their best friends haven'tseen each other in years.
And I mean, it's just it's justawesome.
And I I don't, you know, I don'tknow by you, but you know, guys
see each other, it's been 20years ago.
(06:52):
Hey, hey man, it's been a longtime.
What's up, man?
Yeah, give me give me some skin.
That's about that's about it.
And so, you know, I you know, Igot married with the full intent
on being a loving, presenthusband.
How about you guys out there?
And yet, in the midst of tryingto be that husband, I was
(07:15):
stepping on all these emotionallandmines that I didn't quite
understand.
You know, I, you know, and I'lltell you how broken I was.
I thought that my goal in lifewas get married, did that.
My wife went in flowers all thetime.
I planted rose bushes.
(07:36):
And then I would cut them offwhen they're blooming and bring
them in the house.
My wife would look at them andgo, that's out of my garden.
Oh man, I was I was dumb or inthe stump.
And and I and I didn't know howto navigate the heart of a woman
(08:00):
because my stepdad never showedme how to do this.
My, you know, my dad, most ofyou know, was killed in action,
and my mother talked about himlike he was just this amazing
guy and lover of her, and etcetera.
And my stepdad and my momstruggled.
Maybe you saw that between yourmom and dad.
And so I wanted, I wanted to bethe best husband I could be, but
(08:27):
I seemed like I was just alwaysin trouble because I didn't, I
wasn't measuring up.
And Jill and I hadn't learnedsome things that we know now
that that really help us in ourrelationship.
And and so I'm, you know, I youknow, I'm trying to, you know,
trying to decipher thisincredible creature called a
(08:50):
woman, and you know, taking outher on dates and and doing all
those kind of things.
And yet, in the midst of that,it was just incredibly hard for
me to be vulnerable.
Because I thought the firstthing I want to share with you
is that it's not about as a guyor as a husband, it's not about
(09:12):
having all the answers of beingin charge.
It's really about learning tounderstand where your wife is
and where your kids are, whereyour grandkids are, where your
daughters are, and and and howdo you navigate that and you and
press in.
And so, and I've shared withthis, with you guys numbers of
(09:36):
times in different ways.
But part of the reason that Istruggle so much as a husband is
because my own core identity hadnot been established.
And no, my core identity wasn'tabout playing in the National
Football League.
That was a job I had.
Some think it's a dream, it'sthe ultimate pinnacle of life.
(09:59):
Well, there's a reason why a lotof those guys that don't end
well in some of their marriages,and and why professional
soldiers struggle and andfiremen and policemen and men
who are doing combat, because itI mean, I I never had a marriage
seminar on my football team.
I we lifted weights, and our jobwas to beat the other guy on the
(10:22):
other side of the field.
And so, in in the midst of that,and who do you go to, you know,
kind of growing up and being anathlete and and trying to
navigate, you know, my dad andat the time, my stepfather, and
and watching how he loved mymother didn't leave me very many
(10:42):
clues because he was sort ofalways distracted and wasn't
available.
How about you?
How are you doing with the girlsin your story?
How are you is it easy to bepresent?
Is it easy to listen to youknow, criticism?
It are you trying seeking tounderstand?
(11:05):
And in the midst of all this,where we get the opportunity,
which is kind of the focus oftonight, to not only learn how
to love our wives and to laydown our lives for our wife,
because uh one of the thingsI've learned is that the kind of
man that I am towards Jill willstart out being the kind of
(11:25):
model of the guy that yourdaughters would want to choose
one day.
And, you know, I, you know, Iwish I could tell you that I was
when they were growing up, I wasjust great at doing that.
I I wasn't.
I I had a lot to learn.
I had a lot of mistakes I made.
I had to learn to askforgiveness a lot from my
(11:46):
daughters to connect with them.
And when I began to learn acouple of things I'm going to
share with you tonight, itchanged my relationship with my
daughters, and they becameextraordinary people in my
story.
And, you know, it's it's amazingwhat God will do if you just
(12:09):
kind of hang in there.
And part of what I was alludingto earlier, part of the way that
we change the most is men, isreally understanding that our
core identity isn't just husbandor dad or father or stepdad or
stepfather.
Our identity is not our jobs.
Those are all roles that weplay.
(12:31):
But the core identity for methat began to heal the deepest
part of that wound that I had onmy own story from my father, and
really a lack of him teaching mehow to love Jill comes when we
really connect to who God'scalled us to be.
And that's when he calls us tobe his sons, his beloved sons.
(12:55):
So he wants to bless.
And if you're a daughterwatching, when you're a beloved
daughter, something happens whenyour core identity comes from
God the Father through his sonJesus that stabilizes you and
who God's called you to be.
Because when those momentshappen in your life, it it
builds a foundation in you sothat you can risk and trust that
(13:21):
God's got your back.
Because when you don't feelthat, you know, we as gods, we
just distract ourselves and withother uh like many wins.
And and what happens when you dothat is that it further kind of
severs.
Let me tell you a little bit soyou you get the real gist of
what happened with me.
(13:42):
When I'm getting ready to walkout into Mary Jill, my stepdad
was there, and I asked him, Isaid, any last words, any
advice?
Not not the best question.
And he looks at me and goes,Well, son, I've learned that
women are better seen and notheard.
(14:06):
Military-like.
And I'm going, what's that?
What's that, what's that got todo with getting married?
And then he looks at me andgoes, Oh, yeah, by the way,
girls are just drama, drama,drama.
Now, some of you are going, boy,that's dumb.
I mean, that's you know, thatthat's not very good advice.
Well, yeah, you would think thata grown man who played in the
(14:30):
National Football Leaguewouldn't repeat any of those
things to my girls on my story.
And yet, over and over again,there were times when I would be
overloaded and frustrated withmy daughters or my wife.
And I would I would just say,could you just stop with the
drama, drama, drama?
And it didn't hit me.
I'm kind of living out of thatplace that my stepfather framed
(14:51):
for me.
How about you?
I'd love to hear from you in thechat.
Where are you struggling?
What do you want to learntonight?
What are some of those nuancesand of being a dad?
Well, maybe you got some greatadvice too that you could share
with the other men that they'reconnecting here through Rumble,
TikTok, Instagram, Facebook,both of them, you know, all
(15:14):
these different places that werelive tonight that really worked
has worked for you.
And I'd love to hear about hearthat.
And so, and so I struggled notbecause I didn't love my wife.
Your husband struggles, notnecessarily because he didn't
love you, but he strugglesbecause he doesn't know what to
(15:37):
do.
Because he he doesn't know howto connect, and that emotional
part of him towards you, so thatyou feel safe and secure and
emotionally protected andavailable and communicating.
I was uh talking with a friendtoday who uh was describing this
(16:05):
this couple that he wasministering to, and and they
came in for marriage counseling,and they you know, and the
husband just you know, hiscomment was, you know, no matter
what I do, it's just neverenough.
So in asking the wife, hercomment was well, we just don't
(16:29):
talk.
And so the the question was,well, how long has it been since
you had an intimateconversation?
She said, 43 years.
And my husband comes home, heworks all day, he provides an
incredible way, he takes care ofme, he does loads of laundry, he
(16:53):
mows the lawn, takes out thetrash, does everything I ask him
to do, but he doesn't know howto talk to me.
So, right in that conversation,what she wanted wasn't all the
things that marriage can't giveyou.
What's what she wanted was shewanted to connect.
(17:16):
And I would be willing to saythat's exactly what every girl
wants from her man, what everygranddaughter wants with her
grandfather, or every daughterwants with her dad, is they want
to see be feel seen, they wantto feel heard, they want to feel
(17:37):
celebrated by you.
And when you learn how to dothat with them, it completely
unlocks them.
Because here is the here is thecost many times of when we don't
do that as a father, we frameour daughters in such a way that
(18:02):
that wound they have becausethey can't connect with you as
their dad emotionally.
Because maybe you're busy, youdon't know what to do, you're
distracted, you're stressed out,you come home and you check out.
When your daughter's not able toconnect with you, she's got this
emotional bank account that sheneeds to be filled.
(18:25):
And and God designed it first tobe filled with you as a dad.
But when when she comes home andyou're not available or know
what to do, it starts, shestarts emptying that tank.
And and and and often she willgo find a young man to pour her
heart out to who's listening toher, kind of in hopes of finding
(18:53):
somebody that'll do what herfather never did.
I was with a group of gals thatI have the honor of ministering
to in Southern California.
And one of the gals that came,we were talking about this.
And I said, Well, what made youuh choose the guy that uh you
(19:15):
have now?
And and it's a ministry thatreaches out to young girls who
get pregnant really early inlife, sometimes 13 years old.
It wasn't any 13-year-oldpregnant in this group, but
they're they're married to somereally hard guys.
I said, Well, what made youchoose such a hard project?
(19:39):
And we start talking about theirdads, and inevitably every one
of them said, I'm angry with myfather, and my own personal
self-worth is so low that I justfigured I had to settle for at
least some guy who paidattention to me.
(20:01):
And you know, it was just alesson again to me last night of
how powerful and important it isfor you to learn as a father to
be a present, loving dad in yourdaughter's heart.
And you might be asking, is ittoo late to repair that?
It's never too late.
That's what's so astoundingabout the authority that you
(20:24):
carry as a father in the life ofyour girls, is it only takes a
turn, it only takes a moment foryou to turn back towards them.
You know, maybe you'reexperiencing this pushback from
your daughter.
Maybe they're older, maybethey're using your grandkids to
(20:45):
keep you away.
And and with all the bitternessand stuff that's kind of running
around in families, the guy thatseems to have the key more often
than not is the dad.
And I've coached a lot of guyswho have been able to break
through to lost kids, and thenthere's some that still are have
(21:08):
lost their kids and they're justpursuing, but they've learned
what it really means to ask forforgiveness and take
responsibility for not knowinghow to be there or being abusive
or hurting them when you didn'treally understand that you were
hurting them, and then givingthem an opportunity to tell
(21:31):
their story to you.
Here's a great question.
If you've been around me for aminute, you're gonna hear this
question in our coaching.
And that is, you know, you go toyour daughter or to that you've
hurt, and you say, Is theresomething that I've done as your
dad that's really hurt youthat's caused you to push away
(21:52):
from me?
Can you tell me what I did sothat I can ask for forgiveness?
It's an incredibly powerfulquestion.
Because most of the style offixing families today is I call
it the sorry, sorry category,and that is people will go,
(22:14):
sorry, didn't mean it, having abad day.
So there's no real ownership inasking for forgiveness, is
basically, okay, I'm humblingmyself.
I'm sorry I hurt you, didn'tmean to hurt you, but there's no
transaction.
What I mean by that, there's notransaction to where you give
(22:36):
your children an opportunity totell you what you really did so
that you can say, Wow, I cantell I really hurt you.
Would you forgive me for what Idid to you?
And then you give you take thatmoment and give it back to your
daughter to give her anopportunity to forgive you.
(22:58):
And it might take a while.
You got to be willing to be inthere all in for these kind of
things to work.
And I'm gonna tell you rightnow, and in all the coaching
I've done in all the countriesand all the places I've been,
the number one thing that killsmarriages and families and
children is bitterness.
(23:19):
You know, that's why the Bible,Paul, writes, don't let you
know, bitterness take root inyou.
Because bitterness wants to rootinto your relationship with your
daughter and wants to choke thelife out of it because the devil
wants to sow that samebitterness into your
grandchildren.
So he can cut off relationshipwith them and you.
(28:06):
Or just hide because they'reafraid of your angst that you're
gonna go.
I can't believe you did that.
And so he was talking about howdisappointed he he was and with
one of his kids, and and so I wewe're talking, and I said, Well,
(28:30):
this does it just surprise youthat your son's acting that way?
Isn't he like 50% of you?
He started laughing.
He says, You're so right.
I was worse.
And I said, So was I and yetwell, we're we're really good at
(28:52):
trying to protect our kids frommaking mistakes.
But what if we turn that energyinto not losing connection and
relationship with their heart sothat they will follow us as a
dad and have an opencommunication to tell on
(29:12):
themselves, to be able to say,hey, dad, I'm struggling with
this, versus just going to theirfriends to get counsel, which is
not necessarily very good, ormaybe just talking to their mom,
and then mom comes to you andsays, you know, your daughter's
really hurting, you need to gomeet with her, and you're just
(29:32):
going, Well, I got this project,I got this thing to do.
And why do we avoid thosethings?
Where it's not because we don'tlove our kids, but how how many
times did your dad model to youasking for forgiveness?
Did he teach you how to do it?
Did he did he did he, you know,kind of come back and recapture
(29:56):
your heart when you blew it?
I mean, how good was your Dataat reaching your your sisters.
Is a lot of their men choose aproblem in their life now
because they're so angry attheir father.
The first man in their story.
And so if you if you can learnto really manage the
(30:20):
unforgiveness that that manytimes flows between father and
daughter, and as well as yoursons in your life.
And so it's just kind of thissorry kind of mentality, instead
of somebody modeling and saying,Will you forgive me for just
think about those words?
(30:44):
And you know, if you learnanything from me tonight, and
you're taking and your takeawayis I'm really gonna be quick to
forgive and even quicker to askfor forgiveness, you'll avoid so
many problems with your kids.
Because here's the principle (31:07):
if you don't have the heart of your
children, they won't follow you,dad.
It doesn't matter that you payfor their food, give them a
place to live.
It doesn't matter that you'rethe parent in their life.
What matters to them is thatdoes my dad get me?
(31:32):
Does my father understand me andgive me space to grow up?
Does he trust me that I'm gonnaland on my feet and connect to
the Lord?
I hear this all the time fromyoung people that I coach.
They feel overly parented, likethey're they get a helicopter
(31:56):
parent that's trying to make itso that they don't suffer in
their life.
But I don't know about you, I'velearned my biggest lessons in my
life through the suffering I'vegone through.
And God doesn't have a problemtaking us through those seasons
of suffering in our life.
If we don't walk away from himand trust him in the midst of
(32:17):
whatever the storm is, God willmeet you right there.
God will meet you and he willuse you to model to your
children what a godly man does,what a godly father does to a
daughter.
If you're a mom, what a godlywoman does, or mama does to her
(32:38):
children, because if we'recounting on the Church of Jesus
Christ, you know, that you sendthem to, or church school to
teach him about forgiveness,don't hold your breath.
There's some better schools thanothers out there.
And I and I love all thoseeducation programs, but they
(32:59):
learn the most about forgivenessand love in life from the way
you ask for forgiveness, the wayyou love, and the life you live
in Christ.
And the more you understand thatand really commit yourself to
being the message and the kindof person that you would want
(33:23):
your children to be, you'lllearn more about parenting by
following God the Father intothose things than in all the
parenting books that you read.
Because I can give you like 50how-tos that have helped me.
And you might want some ofthose.
You can sign up for our courses.
There's a lot of that.
But if you learn how to connectto God the Father yourself and
(33:46):
his son Jesus through his word,and you learn how to model the
life you want your children tolive, you will raise children
that'll change the world becausethey see it in you.
They see Christ in you.
You might be saying, Well, I'vereally blown as a dad.
(34:09):
It's never too late.
It's never too late for you torepair and restore a
relationship with a brokendaughter.
I'm gonna kind of end with astory that happened to me.
Well, you know, I wrote TheDifference of Father Makes book,
and it it it it's goneeverywhere.
It's in 234 countries right nowbeing downloaded every, you
(34:36):
know, a couple of times everyfew minutes.
And we it's a book we give away,the difference of father makes.
And this guy read it a number ofyears ago, and he calls me on
the phone and he says, I can'tstop crying.
I'm that guy in the book.
(34:56):
I was just like you.
And I felt like you wrote thatbook for me, just sobbing.
And I've lost the heart of my mydaughter.
I divorced her mom many yearsago.
I've tried to write her a letterto apologize.
She is in another state, and allI ever get back in the mail is a
(35:20):
response from my ex-wife saying,You're dead to us.
Is there anything that God cando?
And I said, I want to tell youwhat, I want you to write a
letter.
And this is what I want you towrite in your letter, and we'll
call her Julie.
Dear Julie.
(35:42):
I know that I really hurt you asyour dad, especially when I
divorced your mother.
I would like to meet with you,and can you can you tell me how
I hurt you so that I can ask forforgiveness?
(36:03):
And so about five, six dayslater, she got the letter and
she got a phone call.
He was in Texas, she was inCincinnati, and she goes, Dad,
is this you?
He says, Yes.
He says, Wife, I've been waitingfor years because I have a
question I want to ask you.
(36:25):
Can I meet with you?
And he said, Absolutely.
And they made plans a few dayslater.
She picked a restaurant and hegot there early and sat in the
booth.
Imagine this, you haven't youhaven't seen your daughter for
for many, many, many years.
I mean, she was probably 12years old when he left, and now
(36:48):
just uh she's 27 years old, andhe hasn't seen her in all these
years, 15 different years, andno correspondent, no pictures.
And so he sits there at thatbooth, and and every person who
walks in, he's wondering, Oh,it's that her, and and finally
(37:09):
this girl walks in sheepishly,and they lock eyes, she starts
crying right away.
And he's he's already bawling,and he said she comes over to
the table and he's he's tryingto wonder if he wants to start
the conversation, and sheactually raised her hand and
(37:30):
said, I need to ask you, I havea question.
He said, What's that?
He said, Was I that ugly?
What daddy was was I that ugly?
You didn't hug me, you didn'tkiss me, you didn't hold me, and
I just I figured that I was justso ugly that you didn't want to
(37:55):
be with me or mom.
And so you divorced mom to getaway from me.
And just the weight of that mom.
You imagine how painful thatwas.
He just hits just hits him, andhe said, Oh no, sweetheart, your
dad was really broken.
(38:16):
As a matter of fact, I Istruggled with pornography at
that time, and and I destroyedour marriage because my private
life was just in the toilet, andI and I was so afraid that it
might hurt you.
I stayed away.
Would you forgive me?
And when he said those words, hetold me that she jumped across
(38:40):
the table, hugging his neck,sobbing, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,
I've waited for you.
You know, Dad, if you'rewatching and you're separated
from your children, it's not toolate.
There's something incrediblypowerful that happens when you
(39:00):
own your stuff with them and youask for forgiveness, their heart
will open.
Because your daughters need youin their story to navigate their
life, the boys of their life,even your grandkids.
And after about an hour ofconversation and catching up,
(39:20):
she goes, I have a gift for you.
I've been waiting for years togive you.
Would you come buy my home?
And he follows her, and shepulls into a gravel driveway
there, and she pulls around backand goes in, and he pulls up
front and walks to a screendoor.
The main door's open, but thescreen door's there at the
(39:42):
front, and and he hears, he'shere, he's here, and out from
the back of the house comes twograndchildren he never knew
about, running out going, Papa.
And God reunited that family,and he broke years of separation
(40:07):
and years of hurt with adaughter with a father, because
the dad learned how to own hismistake the best way he could
and ask for forgiveness.
So I share this with youtonight.
Who do you have somebody likethat in your story, Dad?
You have a daughter that's nottalking to you that uh help me
(40:33):
understand questions, or justpursuing them because most
daughters we coach.
And I've I've had the honor ofdoing a number of women's
retreats, that they're just soamazing because girls are so
hungry to be hauled, and is theythey they're waiting for that
(40:57):
moment, they're waiting fortheir husband to own what they
did.
Your daughters are waiting fortheir daddies to own what they
did, and not just be sorry, I Ipromise I won't do it again, but
to say, this has really hurtyou, would you forgive me?
Those words are incrediblypowerful.
(41:18):
Well, how's this how is thispossible?
How do you do this?
And here's the last thing I wantto say.
There's only one way where youcan do this and be empowered as
a man to do this, even thoughit's the perfect right thing to
do, is you got to go to Jesusyourself and go, Lord, I don't
want my relationship with thegirls in my life to stay the
(41:41):
same.
I come to you and I ask you toforgive me for not being that
kind of father I need to be.
But I pray, Lord, that you wouldgive me the courage to go and
ask them for forgiveness and notgo anywhere until they they come
to a place where they forgive mefor what I've done.
(42:04):
It's worth it, my friend.
The payoff grannies, grandkids,legacy.
Maybe you don't have anygrandchildren, she's still
single.
But you you you wouldn't besurprised, but uh I can't tell
you how many girls I've uh gotto minister to who were stuck in
(42:26):
same-sex attraction that wentthere because they wanted to
find safe love because theydidn't feel safe with their
dads.
And how the enemy will alwaysthrow a curveboard ball to our
kids over an issue that can besolved when we learn as fathers
(42:47):
to really own what we've done.
So I want you to think about thekids in your story, guy, and I
want you to think about whereyour relationship was.
Maybe you're a mom and you'rewatching this, and you've been
really hard on your children.
And and you're and so you got,you know, you're not you're not
(43:08):
willing to forgive yet becauseyou're waiting for them to
change.
That's one of the that's one ofthe slippery slopes we can get
into, is that we don't reallyforgive somebody until we see
that they're completely repentedand completely changed.
The only problem with that isthat then we would never be
forgiven by God.
(43:30):
Imagine you going to Jesus,going, Jesus, I'm so sorry I did
that.
Would you forgive me?
He goes, Do you know how manytimes you've done that this
month?
What makes this different?
No, I'm not going to forgive youto you completely change your
life.
Well, he doesn't put us in thatplace because we can't change
our life without him.
(43:51):
And we can't change ourmarriages and our relationships
without forgiveness.
And the grace of learning how toask for forgiveness is a
powerful tool.
And it's one of the mostpowerful weapons you have to
keeping bitterness from sneakingin to the garden of your family
and choking out the love inlife.
(44:12):
And so, how do you break thepower of bitterness in the
family, no matter where it comesfrom?
Be the model, be the one whogoes first, and begin to do
that.
That's all I got to say aboutthat tonight.
And I'd also, if you're you'rein a place right now where you
(44:35):
need some coaching and yourfamily is uh hurting.
We have a coaching program herethat I've been a part of for a
long time.
And yours truly has beencoaching couples.
It's one of the things I love todo.
And maybe you need an hour withme and your wife, or just you
(44:55):
privately.
If you're interested in that,drop me an email.
You can go to our website, sendme an email, and say, Ed, I need
some help.
And I'll be there to help youand help you on this journey.
And maybe you're new to ourchannel and you really you
really do want to grow as ahusband and a father.
(45:16):
Well, we have a fatherhoodacademy that I see may, if she's
there, she's gonna pop up on thescreen that you can sign up for
right now, which gives youprivate coaching with me, online
courses, and even amen's amen'sgroups to help you really grow
as a man and to becomeeverything God's called you to
(45:38):
be.
It's called the FatherhoodAcademy.
And let me uh try to find thatbanner for you.
I know it's here.
And well, here we go.
See, I see Maze on it right now.
So we have an academy, an onlinecourse that's totally designed
to help equip you to be the manyou've always wanted to be, to
(46:02):
be the be the husband, to be thefather, to be the grandfather.
We have a lot of granddads thatare parenting a second time, and
they want to do it right.
So I'd love to have you here.
And I appreciate all you thatare popping in here.
You can re-watch this onYouTube, Instagram, Facebook, or
both of our pages there.
(46:23):
Or if you're a Rumbleite, youcan go to Rumble or your X, one
of my favorite platforms, youcan go to X and we'll be there
to serve you as well.
All that to say, if you got anyprayer requests, I'd love for
you to send them to me, but I'dlike to pray for you and your
family before we get offtonight.
(46:44):
Because I know this, I knowthat, you know, one of the
things that God's doing is thatI think He really is going to
make fathers great again for thegreat and coming day of the
Lord.
I think that there's somethinghappening in the hearts of men,
just like us, all over theworld.
And we want our families tothrive.
(47:06):
We want our families to behealthy, we want our families to
break through bitterness, wewant our children to hit the
mark.
And God wants to do something soprofound in you, dad, that your
children have a model to followthat into.
Or if you're a mom and watching,the same thing.
And so David will Brookshar willsend you the info.
(47:28):
If you go tothefatherdifference.com, I think
I see can pop that up there inthe banner right now.
Thefatherdifference.com.
There it is.
If you go tothefatherdifference.com, it's
all one word, you can get accessright there on our uh homepage.
And uh would love to help you,David.
(47:50):
Lord bless you.
You got it, my brother, and mysisters that are there.
There's Christine.
Welcome.
She's one of my favorite people.
It was in our church.
She's powerful, godly mama, andI miss her, not seeing her every
Sunday.
So let me pray for you and yourfamily.
So, Father, I uh I thank you forall the families that are here.
(48:13):
I thank you for just kind of anight that uh, Lord, they just
let me share my heart about someof the things I'm learning about
loving the girls in my life.
And Lord, I know that I knowthat uh if I can do this, any
guy can.
And I pray, Lord, for thesefamilies.
(48:33):
I pray for these dads.
I pray, Lord, that you wouldbreak the power of bitterness in
their families completely.
I pray, Lord, in the 19, in thein the year of uh 2025, it would
be known as a year of absolutereconciliation of families,
where kids come back, whereforgiveness is given and asked
(48:55):
for, and blessing happens infamilies, that you would restore
these families that have beenfractured in the name of Jesus
and equip these guys to be thebest fathers they can be, the
best grandpas they can be, thebest husbands if they're married
they can be.
And so, Father, I pray you wouldgive them these tools.
(49:16):
I pray you would protect theirfamilies and you would raise up
their children as lights in theland much greater than the
darkness that the enemy wants tosow.
And I thank you, Lord, thatyou're gonna do this because
it's your promise.
Before the great and coming dayof the Lord, before Jesus comes
back, he's gonna turn the heartsof fathers back to their
(49:38):
children.
I'm so grateful you turned myheart back to my kids, Lord.
I know you want to do that forevery guy watching right now,
every family.
That you would bless us, leadus, father us in the name of
Jesus.
In the name of Jesus.
Thank you guys.
So good to be with you tonight.
(49:59):
And uh as I end this stream,there's a little video about our
Fatherhood Academy.
Love for you to see this.
If you've already seen it, I'llwatch it again.
I I say a couple of good thingsin it, but I'm so grateful that
you're here.
Keep praying for us.
Thank you for supporting us.
A number of you are sending inmonthly gifts that helps us keep
(50:20):
getting our books out around theworld, literally around the
world.
I mean, 230 some countries.
I that just blows my mind.
Every minute sometimes of theday, books are going out to
people, and I'm so grateful forthat for free, so that they can
get them instantly wherever theyare.
(50:41):
And so had actually had somebodyget a hold of me from New
Zealand and he saw the book andgot it, and he's it's changed
his life.
Some of you made that possible.
So, anyway, enjoy this video.
I'm praying for you.
If you need me, email me andconnect me through my website.
I'd love to help you.
(51:02):
The Lord bless you.
SPEAKER_00 (51:05):
Dear friends, imagine a world where every
father feels equipped to leadwith faith, love, and purpose.
A world where families thriveand communities grow stronger
because of devoted,Christ-centered fathers.
SPEAKER_01 (51:20):
You know, beloved, that is the vision that God's
put in my heart for every singlefamily.
You know, he is on the move, Ibelieve.
He promises in Malachi thatbefore the great and coming day
of the Lord, he's gonna dosomething profound.
He's gonna turn the hearts offathers back towards their
(51:41):
children.
So the hearts of their childrenwill turn back to their father.
That's what God is doing.
I mean dad's daily who want tolearn to be better fathers.
Yet many have never been shownhow.
Too many families are beingfractured through bitterness and
with parents and grandparentseven being canceled.
(52:04):
That's why we're launching anonline community to quit and to
be the fathers that God hascalled to be.
It's more than a program, it's apart of a movement that God is
already doing to reshapefatherhood.
It's a sacred calling rooted inthe teachings of pride.
(52:25):
And we're calling this theFatherhood Academy, where men
will embark on a journey ofhealing and spiritual
restoration to help themtransform their family
relationship.
And to make this vision areality, would you consider
partnering with us financiallyas we continue to reach and
(52:48):
disciple every man, dad, andgrandpa that comes our way?
Your donation will help create aripple across the neighborhoods,
communities, you know, anultimatum nature, anchoring each
child's division and theunwavering love and guidance of
(53:08):
a devoted dad.
SPEAKER_00 (53:10):
Will you partner with us?
Your gift, whether a one-timedonation or ongoing monthly
support, will help to transformlives.
Together, we can equip fathersand grandfathers to lead with
faith and create a brighter,hopefully future for generations
(53:30):
to come.
Click the link to donate today.
Thank you for believing in thismission and joining us on this
transformative journey.
What kind of father do you want to be?
What kind of man do you want tobecome for your family and for
yourself?
If you've ever wondered how tostep into the fullness of your
role as a father, husband, andman of God, then you're in the
right place.
Here at the Father Difference,our mission is to inspire and
equip men to be the best fathersthey can be.
(00:23):
It's a powerful mission.
And today, we're going toexplore exactly how you can take
steps toward that calling.
Whether you're a father, a son,a husband, grandfather, single
dad, stepfather, or just lookingto grow, I believe God has
something powerful for you intoday's message.
(00:44):
Whether you're tuning in live orwatching this later, we are so
excited to have you here.
If this is what you're lookingfor, then subscribe so you can
tune in each week to the FatherDifference Live.
You can sign up below.
And now your host, a husband,father, grandfather, author, and
(01:04):
former NFL player, Pastor EdMcGlass.
SPEAKER_01 (01:20):
As uh we are gonna, you know, as a bunch of guys,
and we've got some gals with usas well, is we're gonna jump
into the world of a woman'sheart and learn how to maybe
recapture the heart of yourdaughters.
Maybe you're married, and guys,you want to learn how to
recapture the heart of yourwife.
(01:41):
And if you're a gal that'swatching this, you just you're
just kind of secret on a missionto uh maybe learn some things
that even help your husband, youknow, navigate with the amazing
heart that God gives every mom,every woman, every bride to be,
(02:02):
and every single mom.
You know, we have far too manysingle mothers out there.
So I'm your host, Ed TenMcGlass, and it's great to be
with you tonight.
And so we're gonna get rightinto this whole aspect of how to
capture the heart of yourdaughter, dads, and keep it over
a lifetime.
(02:24):
So, what would you say?
I'd love a bunch of commentsright now to start going.
If if there was a question thatuh you might have about this
subject, I would love to hearfrom you.
Matter of fact, I was with abunch of guides today, early
today, and we were actuallytalking about marriage and about
(02:46):
wives and about how to navigatethat that story.
But before I get there, I wantto give you a little bit of my
history in my family.
You know, I've been married formany moons to just an incredible
uh girl that I met on a blinddate.
(03:06):
I proposed in the third week,and we now have been together.
Boy, we have been together formany, many years.
At 42 years, we've been married,loving each other, ups and
downs.
And I would say probably the theone who's had to change the most
(03:27):
is me.
I mean, he here's here's me onmy wedding day as Jill's walking
down the aisle, and I am playinga song.
Probably the most nervous songthat I ever played in my life.
My uh the the church is filledwith uh lots of the Los Angeles
(03:48):
Rams family, friends.
And I'm singing a little songcalled Every Little Beat of My
Heart draws me closer and closerto you.
But it was it was a reallyunique uh ceremony, and and the
Jill walked down, and after we,you know, spent a few moments as
the pastor, as you know, whowill, you know, give Jill to be
(04:11):
married to Ed, and your father,you know, gives her a kiss and
hands her to me, and we walk upto the altar, and we plan this
out, and we both then turnedaround with the microphone and
said, now before we get married,we would like to share our
stories about how we met Jesus.
(04:33):
And why?
Because I had all kinds ofunbelievers here in the wedding.
And so Jill went first andshared her story, and then I
did.
And and then we had a had thepastor there give people an
opportunity to respond toChrist.
And a number of football playerfriends of mine, we had the
(04:57):
owner for the Rams there, andthen I my stepdad was in the
crowd, he raised his hand andsaid yes to Jesus.
What a what a great moment, whata great beginning for Jill and
I.
And I I I quite honestly, youknow, to be honest with you, I
um, you know, I was I was reallynervous on that wedding day, but
(05:22):
you know, I knew how to getmarried, but as a guy I didn't
know how to be married to agirl.
Because I found out ratherquickly that my wife and my
daughters and my granddaughters,they all they all live in this
amazing estrogen river.
(05:45):
And to most of us, mortal men,we're very mortal, we're not
immortal.
When it comes to learning how tolove a girl in your life,
there's just a lot of questionsabout how do you do it and how
do you press in.
Because one of the things thatevery daughter has, and that's
this incredible ability to buildrelationships, to connect, and
(06:11):
you know, the the you know,let's face it, guys, girls are
equipped with so many moretools, it seems like, to build
relationships that than we areas men.
Matter of fact, when I'm andthis happens to my wife, you
know, it, you know, she's Iwon't tell you her exact age,
(06:32):
but we're we're over 60 yearsold.
When she sees a girlfriend thatshe hasn't seen in a long time,
it's like, oh my gosh, I'mlooking at I mean, it's like
they their best friends haven'tseen each other in years.
And I mean, it's just it's justawesome.
And I I don't, you know, I don'tknow by you, but you know, guys
see each other, it's been 20years ago.
(06:52):
Hey, hey man, it's been a longtime.
What's up, man?
Yeah, give me give me some skin.
That's about that's about it.
And so, you know, I you know, Igot married with the full intent
on being a loving, presenthusband.
How about you guys out there?
And yet, in the midst of tryingto be that husband, I was
(07:15):
stepping on all these emotionallandmines that I didn't quite
understand.
You know, I, you know, and I'lltell you how broken I was.
I thought that my goal in lifewas get married, did that.
My wife went in flowers all thetime.
I planted rose bushes.
(07:36):
And then I would cut them offwhen they're blooming and bring
them in the house.
My wife would look at them andgo, that's out of my garden.
Oh man, I was I was dumb or inthe stump.
And and I and I didn't know howto navigate the heart of a woman
(08:00):
because my stepdad never showedme how to do this.
My, you know, my dad, most ofyou know, was killed in action,
and my mother talked about himlike he was just this amazing
guy and lover of her, and etcetera.
And my stepdad and my momstruggled.
Maybe you saw that between yourmom and dad.
And so I wanted, I wanted to bethe best husband I could be, but
(08:27):
I seemed like I was just alwaysin trouble because I didn't, I
wasn't measuring up.
And Jill and I hadn't learnedsome things that we know now
that that really help us in ourrelationship.
And and so I'm, you know, I youknow, I'm trying to, you know,
trying to decipher thisincredible creature called a
(08:50):
woman, and you know, taking outher on dates and and doing all
those kind of things.
And yet, in the midst of that,it was just incredibly hard for
me to be vulnerable.
Because I thought the firstthing I want to share with you
is that it's not about as a guyor as a husband, it's not about
(09:12):
having all the answers of beingin charge.
It's really about learning tounderstand where your wife is
and where your kids are, whereyour grandkids are, where your
daughters are, and and and howdo you navigate that and you and
press in.
And so, and I've shared withthis, with you guys numbers of
(09:36):
times in different ways.
But part of the reason that Istruggle so much as a husband is
because my own core identity hadnot been established.
And no, my core identity wasn'tabout playing in the National
Football League.
That was a job I had.
Some think it's a dream, it'sthe ultimate pinnacle of life.
(09:59):
Well, there's a reason why a lotof those guys that don't end
well in some of their marriages,and and why professional
soldiers struggle and andfiremen and policemen and men
who are doing combat, because itI mean, I I never had a marriage
seminar on my football team.
I we lifted weights, and our jobwas to beat the other guy on the
(10:22):
other side of the field.
And so, in in the midst of that,and who do you go to, you know,
kind of growing up and being anathlete and and trying to
navigate, you know, my dad andat the time, my stepfather, and
and watching how he loved mymother didn't leave me very many
(10:42):
clues because he was sort ofalways distracted and wasn't
available.
How about you?
How are you doing with the girlsin your story?
How are you is it easy to bepresent?
Is it easy to listen to youknow, criticism?
It are you trying seeking tounderstand?
(11:05):
And in the midst of all this,where we get the opportunity,
which is kind of the focus oftonight, to not only learn how
to love our wives and to laydown our lives for our wife,
because uh one of the thingsI've learned is that the kind of
man that I am towards Jill willstart out being the kind of
(11:25):
model of the guy that yourdaughters would want to choose
one day.
And, you know, I, you know, Iwish I could tell you that I was
when they were growing up, I wasjust great at doing that.
I I wasn't.
I I had a lot to learn.
I had a lot of mistakes I made.
I had to learn to askforgiveness a lot from my
(11:46):
daughters to connect with them.
And when I began to learn acouple of things I'm going to
share with you tonight, itchanged my relationship with my
daughters, and they becameextraordinary people in my
story.
And, you know, it's it's amazingwhat God will do if you just
(12:09):
kind of hang in there.
And part of what I was alludingto earlier, part of the way that
we change the most is men, isreally understanding that our
core identity isn't just husbandor dad or father or stepdad or
stepfather.
Our identity is not our jobs.
Those are all roles that weplay.
(12:31):
But the core identity for methat began to heal the deepest
part of that wound that I had onmy own story from my father, and
really a lack of him teaching mehow to love Jill comes when we
really connect to who God'scalled us to be.
And that's when he calls us tobe his sons, his beloved sons.
(12:55):
So he wants to bless.
And if you're a daughterwatching, when you're a beloved
daughter, something happens whenyour core identity comes from
God the Father through his sonJesus that stabilizes you and
who God's called you to be.
Because when those momentshappen in your life, it it
builds a foundation in you sothat you can risk and trust that
(13:21):
God's got your back.
Because when you don't feelthat, you know, we as gods, we
just distract ourselves and withother uh like many wins.
And and what happens when you dothat is that it further kind of
severs.
Let me tell you a little bit soyou you get the real gist of
what happened with me.
(13:42):
When I'm getting ready to walkout into Mary Jill, my stepdad
was there, and I asked him, Isaid, any last words, any
advice?
Not not the best question.
And he looks at me and goes,Well, son, I've learned that
women are better seen and notheard.
(14:06):
Military-like.
And I'm going, what's that?
What's that, what's that got todo with getting married?
And then he looks at me andgoes, Oh, yeah, by the way,
girls are just drama, drama,drama.
Now, some of you are going, boy,that's dumb.
I mean, that's you know, thatthat's not very good advice.
Well, yeah, you would think thata grown man who played in the
(14:30):
National Football Leaguewouldn't repeat any of those
things to my girls on my story.
And yet, over and over again,there were times when I would be
overloaded and frustrated withmy daughters or my wife.
And I would I would just say,could you just stop with the
drama, drama, drama?
And it didn't hit me.
I'm kind of living out of thatplace that my stepfather framed
(14:51):
for me.
How about you?
I'd love to hear from you in thechat.
Where are you struggling?
What do you want to learntonight?
What are some of those nuancesand of being a dad?
Well, maybe you got some greatadvice too that you could share
with the other men that they'reconnecting here through Rumble,
TikTok, Instagram, Facebook,both of them, you know, all
(15:14):
these different places that werelive tonight that really worked
has worked for you.
And I'd love to hear about hearthat.
And so, and so I struggled notbecause I didn't love my wife.
Your husband struggles, notnecessarily because he didn't
love you, but he strugglesbecause he doesn't know what to
(15:37):
do.
Because he he doesn't know howto connect, and that emotional
part of him towards you, so thatyou feel safe and secure and
emotionally protected andavailable and communicating.
I was uh talking with a friendtoday who uh was describing this
(16:05):
this couple that he wasministering to, and and they
came in for marriage counseling,and they you know, and the
husband just you know, hiscomment was, you know, no matter
what I do, it's just neverenough.
So in asking the wife, hercomment was well, we just don't
(16:29):
talk.
And so the the question was,well, how long has it been since
you had an intimateconversation?
She said, 43 years.
And my husband comes home, heworks all day, he provides an
incredible way, he takes care ofme, he does loads of laundry, he
(16:53):
mows the lawn, takes out thetrash, does everything I ask him
to do, but he doesn't know howto talk to me.
So, right in that conversation,what she wanted wasn't all the
things that marriage can't giveyou.
What's what she wanted was shewanted to connect.
(17:16):
And I would be willing to saythat's exactly what every girl
wants from her man, what everygranddaughter wants with her
grandfather, or every daughterwants with her dad, is they want
to see be feel seen, they wantto feel heard, they want to feel
(17:37):
celebrated by you.
And when you learn how to dothat with them, it completely
unlocks them.
Because here is the here is thecost many times of when we don't
do that as a father, we frameour daughters in such a way that
(18:02):
that wound they have becausethey can't connect with you as
their dad emotionally.
Because maybe you're busy, youdon't know what to do, you're
distracted, you're stressed out,you come home and you check out.
When your daughter's not able toconnect with you, she's got this
emotional bank account that sheneeds to be filled.
(18:25):
And and God designed it first tobe filled with you as a dad.
But when when she comes home andyou're not available or know
what to do, it starts, shestarts emptying that tank.
And and and and often she willgo find a young man to pour her
heart out to who's listening toher, kind of in hopes of finding
(18:53):
somebody that'll do what herfather never did.
I was with a group of gals thatI have the honor of ministering
to in Southern California.
And one of the gals that came,we were talking about this.
And I said, Well, what made youuh choose the guy that uh you
(19:15):
have now?
And and it's a ministry thatreaches out to young girls who
get pregnant really early inlife, sometimes 13 years old.
It wasn't any 13-year-oldpregnant in this group, but
they're they're married to somereally hard guys.
I said, Well, what made youchoose such a hard project?
(19:39):
And we start talking about theirdads, and inevitably every one
of them said, I'm angry with myfather, and my own personal
self-worth is so low that I justfigured I had to settle for at
least some guy who paidattention to me.
(20:01):
And you know, it was just alesson again to me last night of
how powerful and important it isfor you to learn as a father to
be a present, loving dad in yourdaughter's heart.
And you might be asking, is ittoo late to repair that?
It's never too late.
That's what's so astoundingabout the authority that you
(20:24):
carry as a father in the life ofyour girls, is it only takes a
turn, it only takes a moment foryou to turn back towards them.
You know, maybe you'reexperiencing this pushback from
your daughter.
Maybe they're older, maybethey're using your grandkids to
(20:45):
keep you away.
And and with all the bitternessand stuff that's kind of running
around in families, the guy thatseems to have the key more often
than not is the dad.
And I've coached a lot of guyswho have been able to break
through to lost kids, and thenthere's some that still are have
(21:08):
lost their kids and they're justpursuing, but they've learned
what it really means to ask forforgiveness and take
responsibility for not knowinghow to be there or being abusive
or hurting them when you didn'treally understand that you were
hurting them, and then givingthem an opportunity to tell
(21:31):
their story to you.
Here's a great question.
If you've been around me for aminute, you're gonna hear this
question in our coaching.
And that is, you know, you go toyour daughter or to that you've
hurt, and you say, Is theresomething that I've done as your
dad that's really hurt youthat's caused you to push away
(21:52):
from me?
Can you tell me what I did sothat I can ask for forgiveness?
It's an incredibly powerfulquestion.
Because most of the style offixing families today is I call
it the sorry, sorry category,and that is people will go,
(22:14):
sorry, didn't mean it, having abad day.
So there's no real ownership inasking for forgiveness, is
basically, okay, I'm humblingmyself.
I'm sorry I hurt you, didn'tmean to hurt you, but there's no
transaction.
What I mean by that, there's notransaction to where you give
(22:36):
your children an opportunity totell you what you really did so
that you can say, Wow, I cantell I really hurt you.
Would you forgive me for what Idid to you?
And then you give you take thatmoment and give it back to your
daughter to give her anopportunity to forgive you.
(22:58):
And it might take a while.
You got to be willing to be inthere all in for these kind of
things to work.
And I'm gonna tell you rightnow, and in all the coaching
I've done in all the countriesand all the places I've been,
the number one thing that killsmarriages and families and
children is bitterness.
(23:19):
You know, that's why the Bible,Paul, writes, don't let you
know, bitterness take root inyou.
Because bitterness wants to rootinto your relationship with your
daughter and wants to choke thelife out of it because the devil
wants to sow that samebitterness into your
grandchildren.
So he can cut off relationshipwith them and you.
(28:06):
Or just hide because they'reafraid of your angst that you're
gonna go.
I can't believe you did that.
And so he was talking about howdisappointed he he was and with
one of his kids, and and so I wewe're talking, and I said, Well,
(28:30):
this does it just surprise youthat your son's acting that way?
Isn't he like 50% of you?
He started laughing.
He says, You're so right.
I was worse.
And I said, So was I and yetwell, we're we're really good at
(28:52):
trying to protect our kids frommaking mistakes.
But what if we turn that energyinto not losing connection and
relationship with their heart sothat they will follow us as a
dad and have an opencommunication to tell on
(29:12):
themselves, to be able to say,hey, dad, I'm struggling with
this, versus just going to theirfriends to get counsel, which is
not necessarily very good, ormaybe just talking to their mom,
and then mom comes to you andsays, you know, your daughter's
really hurting, you need to gomeet with her, and you're just
(29:32):
going, Well, I got this project,I got this thing to do.
And why do we avoid thosethings?
Where it's not because we don'tlove our kids, but how how many
times did your dad model to youasking for forgiveness?
Did he teach you how to do it?
Did he did he did he, you know,kind of come back and recapture
(29:56):
your heart when you blew it?
I mean, how good was your Dataat reaching your your sisters.
Is a lot of their men choose aproblem in their life now
because they're so angry attheir father.
The first man in their story.
And so if you if you can learnto really manage the
(30:20):
unforgiveness that that manytimes flows between father and
daughter, and as well as yoursons in your life.
And so it's just kind of thissorry kind of mentality, instead
of somebody modeling and saying,Will you forgive me for just
think about those words?
(30:44):
And you know, if you learnanything from me tonight, and
you're taking and your takeawayis I'm really gonna be quick to
forgive and even quicker to askfor forgiveness, you'll avoid so
many problems with your kids.
Because here's the principle (31:07):
if you don't have the heart of your
children, they won't follow you,dad.
It doesn't matter that you payfor their food, give them a
place to live.
It doesn't matter that you'rethe parent in their life.
What matters to them is thatdoes my dad get me?
(31:32):
Does my father understand me andgive me space to grow up?
Does he trust me that I'm gonnaland on my feet and connect to
the Lord?
I hear this all the time fromyoung people that I coach.
They feel overly parented, likethey're they get a helicopter
(31:56):
parent that's trying to make itso that they don't suffer in
their life.
But I don't know about you, I'velearned my biggest lessons in my
life through the suffering I'vegone through.
And God doesn't have a problemtaking us through those seasons
of suffering in our life.
If we don't walk away from himand trust him in the midst of
(32:17):
whatever the storm is, God willmeet you right there.
God will meet you and he willuse you to model to your
children what a godly man does,what a godly father does to a
daughter.
If you're a mom, what a godlywoman does, or mama does to her
(32:38):
children, because if we'recounting on the Church of Jesus
Christ, you know, that you sendthem to, or church school to
teach him about forgiveness,don't hold your breath.
There's some better schools thanothers out there.
And I and I love all thoseeducation programs, but they
(32:59):
learn the most about forgivenessand love in life from the way
you ask for forgiveness, the wayyou love, and the life you live
in Christ.
And the more you understand thatand really commit yourself to
being the message and the kindof person that you would want
(33:23):
your children to be, you'lllearn more about parenting by
following God the Father intothose things than in all the
parenting books that you read.
Because I can give you like 50how-tos that have helped me.
And you might want some ofthose.
You can sign up for our courses.
There's a lot of that.
But if you learn how to connectto God the Father yourself and
(33:46):
his son Jesus through his word,and you learn how to model the
life you want your children tolive, you will raise children
that'll change the world becausethey see it in you.
They see Christ in you.
You might be saying, Well, I'vereally blown as a dad.
(34:09):
It's never too late.
It's never too late for you torepair and restore a
relationship with a brokendaughter.
I'm gonna kind of end with astory that happened to me.
Well, you know, I wrote TheDifference of Father Makes book,
and it it it it's goneeverywhere.
It's in 234 countries right nowbeing downloaded every, you
(34:36):
know, a couple of times everyfew minutes.
And we it's a book we give away,the difference of father makes.
And this guy read it a number ofyears ago, and he calls me on
the phone and he says, I can'tstop crying.
I'm that guy in the book.
(34:56):
I was just like you.
And I felt like you wrote thatbook for me, just sobbing.
And I've lost the heart of my mydaughter.
I divorced her mom many yearsago.
I've tried to write her a letterto apologize.
She is in another state, and allI ever get back in the mail is a
(35:20):
response from my ex-wife saying,You're dead to us.
Is there anything that God cando?
And I said, I want to tell youwhat, I want you to write a
letter.
And this is what I want you towrite in your letter, and we'll
call her Julie.
Dear Julie.
(35:42):
I know that I really hurt you asyour dad, especially when I
divorced your mother.
I would like to meet with you,and can you can you tell me how
I hurt you so that I can ask forforgiveness?
(36:03):
And so about five, six dayslater, she got the letter and
she got a phone call.
He was in Texas, she was inCincinnati, and she goes, Dad,
is this you?
He says, Yes.
He says, Wife, I've been waitingfor years because I have a
question I want to ask you.
(36:25):
Can I meet with you?
And he said, Absolutely.
And they made plans a few dayslater.
She picked a restaurant and hegot there early and sat in the
booth.
Imagine this, you haven't youhaven't seen your daughter for
for many, many, many years.
I mean, she was probably 12years old when he left, and now
(36:48):
just uh she's 27 years old, andhe hasn't seen her in all these
years, 15 different years, andno correspondent, no pictures.
And so he sits there at thatbooth, and and every person who
walks in, he's wondering, Oh,it's that her, and and finally
(37:09):
this girl walks in sheepishly,and they lock eyes, she starts
crying right away.
And he's he's already bawling,and he said she comes over to
the table and he's he's tryingto wonder if he wants to start
the conversation, and sheactually raised her hand and
(37:30):
said, I need to ask you, I havea question.
He said, What's that?
He said, Was I that ugly?
What daddy was was I that ugly?
You didn't hug me, you didn'tkiss me, you didn't hold me, and
I just I figured that I was justso ugly that you didn't want to
(37:55):
be with me or mom.
And so you divorced mom to getaway from me.
And just the weight of that mom.
You imagine how painful thatwas.
He just hits just hits him, andhe said, Oh no, sweetheart, your
dad was really broken.
(38:16):
As a matter of fact, I Istruggled with pornography at
that time, and and I destroyedour marriage because my private
life was just in the toilet, andI and I was so afraid that it
might hurt you.
I stayed away.
Would you forgive me?
And when he said those words, hetold me that she jumped across
(38:40):
the table, hugging his neck,sobbing, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,
I've waited for you.
You know, Dad, if you'rewatching and you're separated
from your children, it's not toolate.
There's something incrediblypowerful that happens when you
(39:00):
own your stuff with them and youask for forgiveness, their heart
will open.
Because your daughters need youin their story to navigate their
life, the boys of their life,even your grandkids.
And after about an hour ofconversation and catching up,
(39:20):
she goes, I have a gift for you.
I've been waiting for years togive you.
Would you come buy my home?
And he follows her, and shepulls into a gravel driveway
there, and she pulls around backand goes in, and he pulls up
front and walks to a screendoor.
The main door's open, but thescreen door's there at the
(39:42):
front, and and he hears, he'shere, he's here, and out from
the back of the house comes twograndchildren he never knew
about, running out going, Papa.
And God reunited that family,and he broke years of separation
(40:07):
and years of hurt with adaughter with a father, because
the dad learned how to own hismistake the best way he could
and ask for forgiveness.
So I share this with youtonight.
Who do you have somebody likethat in your story, Dad?
You have a daughter that's nottalking to you that uh help me
(40:33):
understand questions, or justpursuing them because most
daughters we coach.
And I've I've had the honor ofdoing a number of women's
retreats, that they're just soamazing because girls are so
hungry to be hauled, and is theythey they're waiting for that
(40:57):
moment, they're waiting fortheir husband to own what they
did.
Your daughters are waiting fortheir daddies to own what they
did, and not just be sorry, I Ipromise I won't do it again, but
to say, this has really hurtyou, would you forgive me?
Those words are incrediblypowerful.
(41:18):
Well, how's this how is thispossible?
How do you do this?
And here's the last thing I wantto say.
There's only one way where youcan do this and be empowered as
a man to do this, even thoughit's the perfect right thing to
do, is you got to go to Jesusyourself and go, Lord, I don't
want my relationship with thegirls in my life to stay the
(41:41):
same.
I come to you and I ask you toforgive me for not being that
kind of father I need to be.
But I pray, Lord, that you wouldgive me the courage to go and
ask them for forgiveness and notgo anywhere until they they come
to a place where they forgive mefor what I've done.
(42:04):
It's worth it, my friend.
The payoff grannies, grandkids,legacy.
Maybe you don't have anygrandchildren, she's still
single.
But you you you wouldn't besurprised, but uh I can't tell
you how many girls I've uh gotto minister to who were stuck in
(42:26):
same-sex attraction that wentthere because they wanted to
find safe love because theydidn't feel safe with their
dads.
And how the enemy will alwaysthrow a curveboard ball to our
kids over an issue that can besolved when we learn as fathers
(42:47):
to really own what we've done.
So I want you to think about thekids in your story, guy, and I
want you to think about whereyour relationship was.
Maybe you're a mom and you'rewatching this, and you've been
really hard on your children.
And and you're and so you got,you know, you're not you're not
(43:08):
willing to forgive yet becauseyou're waiting for them to
change.
That's one of the that's one ofthe slippery slopes we can get
into, is that we don't reallyforgive somebody until we see
that they're completely repentedand completely changed.
The only problem with that isthat then we would never be
forgiven by God.
(43:30):
Imagine you going to Jesus,going, Jesus, I'm so sorry I did
that.
Would you forgive me?
He goes, Do you know how manytimes you've done that this
month?
What makes this different?
No, I'm not going to forgive youto you completely change your
life.
Well, he doesn't put us in thatplace because we can't change
our life without him.
(43:51):
And we can't change ourmarriages and our relationships
without forgiveness.
And the grace of learning how toask for forgiveness is a
powerful tool.
And it's one of the mostpowerful weapons you have to
keeping bitterness from sneakingin to the garden of your family
and choking out the love inlife.
(44:12):
And so, how do you break thepower of bitterness in the
family, no matter where it comesfrom?
Be the model, be the one whogoes first, and begin to do
that.
That's all I got to say aboutthat tonight.
And I'd also, if you're you'rein a place right now where you
(44:35):
need some coaching and yourfamily is uh hurting.
We have a coaching program herethat I've been a part of for a
long time.
And yours truly has beencoaching couples.
It's one of the things I love todo.
And maybe you need an hour withme and your wife, or just you
(44:55):
privately.
If you're interested in that,drop me an email.
You can go to our website, sendme an email, and say, Ed, I need
some help.
And I'll be there to help youand help you on this journey.
And maybe you're new to ourchannel and you really you
really do want to grow as ahusband and a father.
(45:16):
Well, we have a fatherhoodacademy that I see may, if she's
there, she's gonna pop up on thescreen that you can sign up for
right now, which gives youprivate coaching with me, online
courses, and even amen's amen'sgroups to help you really grow
as a man and to becomeeverything God's called you to
(45:38):
be.
It's called the FatherhoodAcademy.
And let me uh try to find thatbanner for you.
I know it's here.
And well, here we go.
See, I see Maze on it right now.
So we have an academy, an onlinecourse that's totally designed
to help equip you to be the manyou've always wanted to be, to
(46:02):
be the be the husband, to be thefather, to be the grandfather.
We have a lot of granddads thatare parenting a second time, and
they want to do it right.
So I'd love to have you here.
And I appreciate all you thatare popping in here.
You can re-watch this onYouTube, Instagram, Facebook, or
both of our pages there.
(46:23):
Or if you're a Rumbleite, youcan go to Rumble or your X, one
of my favorite platforms, youcan go to X and we'll be there
to serve you as well.
All that to say, if you got anyprayer requests, I'd love for
you to send them to me, but I'dlike to pray for you and your
family before we get offtonight.
(46:44):
Because I know this, I knowthat, you know, one of the
things that God's doing is thatI think He really is going to
make fathers great again for thegreat and coming day of the
Lord.
I think that there's somethinghappening in the hearts of men,
just like us, all over theworld.
And we want our families tothrive.
(47:06):
We want our families to behealthy, we want our families to
break through bitterness, wewant our children to hit the
mark.
And God wants to do something soprofound in you, dad, that your
children have a model to followthat into.
Or if you're a mom and watching,the same thing.
And so David will Brookshar willsend you the info.
(47:28):
If you go tothefatherdifference.com, I think
I see can pop that up there inthe banner right now.
Thefatherdifference.com.
There it is.
If you go tothefatherdifference.com, it's
all one word, you can get accessright there on our uh homepage.
And uh would love to help you,David.
(47:50):
Lord bless you.
You got it, my brother, and mysisters that are there.
There's Christine.
Welcome.
She's one of my favorite people.
It was in our church.
She's powerful, godly mama, andI miss her, not seeing her every
Sunday.
So let me pray for you and yourfamily.
So, Father, I uh I thank you forall the families that are here.
(48:13):
I thank you for just kind of anight that uh, Lord, they just
let me share my heart about someof the things I'm learning about
loving the girls in my life.
And Lord, I know that I knowthat uh if I can do this, any
guy can.
And I pray, Lord, for thesefamilies.
(48:33):
I pray for these dads.
I pray, Lord, that you wouldbreak the power of bitterness in
their families completely.
I pray, Lord, in the 19, in thein the year of uh 2025, it would
be known as a year of absolutereconciliation of families,
where kids come back, whereforgiveness is given and asked
(48:55):
for, and blessing happens infamilies, that you would restore
these families that have beenfractured in the name of Jesus
and equip these guys to be thebest fathers they can be, the
best grandpas they can be, thebest husbands if they're married
they can be.
And so, Father, I pray you wouldgive them these tools.
(49:16):
I pray you would protect theirfamilies and you would raise up
their children as lights in theland much greater than the
darkness that the enemy wants tosow.
And I thank you, Lord, thatyou're gonna do this because
it's your promise.
Before the great and coming dayof the Lord, before Jesus comes
back, he's gonna turn the heartsof fathers back to their
(49:38):
children.
I'm so grateful you turned myheart back to my kids, Lord.
I know you want to do that forevery guy watching right now,
every family.
That you would bless us, leadus, father us in the name of
Jesus.
In the name of Jesus.
Thank you guys.
So good to be with you tonight.
(49:59):
And uh as I end this stream,there's a little video about our
Fatherhood Academy.
Love for you to see this.
If you've already seen it, I'llwatch it again.
I I say a couple of good thingsin it, but I'm so grateful that
you're here.
Keep praying for us.
Thank you for supporting us.
A number of you are sending inmonthly gifts that helps us keep
(50:20):
getting our books out around theworld, literally around the
world.
I mean, 230 some countries.
I that just blows my mind.
Every minute sometimes of theday, books are going out to
people, and I'm so grateful forthat for free, so that they can
get them instantly wherever theyare.
(50:41):
And so had actually had somebodyget a hold of me from New
Zealand and he saw the book andgot it, and he's it's changed
his life.
Some of you made that possible.
So, anyway, enjoy this video.
I'm praying for you.
If you need me, email me andconnect me through my website.
I'd love to help you.
(51:02):
The Lord bless you.
SPEAKER_00 (51:05):
Dear friends, imagine a world where every
father feels equipped to leadwith faith, love, and purpose.
A world where families thriveand communities grow stronger
because of devoted,Christ-centered fathers.
SPEAKER_01 (51:20):
You know, beloved, that is the vision that God's
put in my heart for every singlefamily.
You know, he is on the move, Ibelieve.
He promises in Malachi thatbefore the great and coming day
of the Lord, he's gonna dosomething profound.
He's gonna turn the hearts offathers back towards their
(51:41):
children.
So the hearts of their childrenwill turn back to their father.
That's what God is doing.
I mean dad's daily who want tolearn to be better fathers.
Yet many have never been shownhow.
Too many families are beingfractured through bitterness and
with parents and grandparentseven being canceled.
(52:04):
That's why we're launching anonline community to quit and to
be the fathers that God hascalled to be.
It's more than a program, it's apart of a movement that God is
already doing to reshapefatherhood.
It's a sacred calling rooted inthe teachings of pride.
(52:25):
And we're calling this theFatherhood Academy, where men
will embark on a journey ofhealing and spiritual
restoration to help themtransform their family
relationship.
And to make this vision areality, would you consider
partnering with us financiallyas we continue to reach and
(52:48):
disciple every man, dad, andgrandpa that comes our way?
Your donation will help create aripple across the neighborhoods,
communities, you know, anultimatum nature, anchoring each
child's division and theunwavering love and guidance of
(53:08):
a devoted dad.
SPEAKER_00 (53:10):
Will you partner with us?
Your gift, whether a one-timedonation or ongoing monthly
support, will help to transformlives.
Together, we can equip fathersand grandfathers to lead with
faith and create a brighter,hopefully future for generations
(53:30):
to come.
Click the link to donate today.
Thank you for believing in thismission and joining us on this
transformative journey.
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