In this heartfelt episode of The Hope Matrix Podcast, Kathryn Goetzke talks with Dr. Christy Oaks, Clinic Director of the Community Counseling Clinic (CCC) and Clinical Instructor in the Counseling Program at the Department of Counseling & Human Services. Christy shares her inspiring journey of resilience, from navigating a severe bleeding disorder, experiencing a medical bankruptcy, and overcoming other life struggles.
This episode also explores strategies for managing anxiety, the impact of systematic marginalization, and the importance of self-care and seeking professional help. Christy shares simple ways she cultivates hope, such as mindfulness, spending time in nature, crocheting, and connecting with others. Christy’s strength and story will inspire you to find hope even in the toughest times.
More about Christy Oaks:
Dr. Christy Oaks (she/they) is a counselor, clinic director, counselor educator, and advocate whose life has been shaped by resilience, hope, and transformation. She recognizes and reflects on the profound impact of challenges she has faced, including experiencing childhood homelessness, living with a severe bleeding disorder, navigating the impacts of an ACES score of 6, and coming out as LGBTQIA+ in her late 20s. As a counselor educator and clinic director, Christy is dedicated to fostering spaces for healing and growth while mentoring future generations of counselors. Grounded by a deep love for nature, she embraces the interconnectedness of humans and the natural world as a source of healing and inspiration.
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christine-oaks-528233213/
Etsy: The Liminal Nook
#TheHopeMatrix #Podcast #MentalHealth #Hope #MentalHealth #Hope #Resilience #SelfCare #Inspiration #BleedingDisorder #Healing
Listen
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
This is Kathryn Goetzke,host of The Hope Matrix Podcast.
We are here to share science, storiesand strategies for how to hope.
I'm the Chief Hope officer of the ShineHope Company.
And SHINE is the mnemonicfor how we teach hope.
So when we talk about hope,we talk about how we use Stress Skills,
(00:22):
Happiness habits, Inspired Actions,Nourishing Networks
and Eliminating Challengeswhich are thinking patterns that
get in the way of our ability to hope.
Hope is a skill.
You can measure hope, you can teach hopeand you can start practicing skills
to activate higherhope in your life today.
(00:44):
And on this Hope Matrix podcast,we aim to bring in guests,
experts in science, people with stories,and those that have strategies
for activating hope in your life.
Well hello everyone.
All the listener's so grateful to have youhere today for the Hope matrix podcast.
(01:05):
really,I appreciate you taking time to learn more
about hope and strategiesfor how to shine hope in your life.
today we have DoctorChristy Oaks with us on the podcast.
That's Christy with the Y.
so I, for all those listening, and I'mreally grateful to have Christy here
to share her expertise and some of her ownjourney and shine hope skills.
(01:28):
So first of all,I want to welcome you to the podcast.
So I thank you so much for joining today.
Yeah, thank you so much, Kathryn.
I'm so happy and excited and nervousto be here.
Oh, amazing.
I know I was terrified when I did my firstpodcast, and now I just get used to it.
And then I listen to myselfand I think I shouldn’t listen to myself.
(01:51):
Now I'm really grateful.
You know, it takes such courage to sharestories, live,
especially when it's personal to us.
Yeah, yeah. No doubt.
And yeah,I think it's the only way we all grow.
And I think when we share stories,it can make it so much easier
for the next person.
If, you know, we share it with intentionand with some of the strategies.
(02:15):
But yes, I,you know, talk a lot about how I struggled
so much as a youth and, and in my 20s andso much of the shine framework
I use was the negativekind of turning to addictions
and self-harm and all of these thingsthat were actually making everything
worse for me and, and for my life.
And, so by sharing skillsand your story of things
(02:39):
that you've gone throughand how you navigated
and the healthy tools we use,the ones that we know are kind of backed
by science, it's really I'mreally grateful, as you are a doctor, too.
Yeah. So that's amazing.
Why don’t we start, can you just sharea little bit more about yourself?
Yeah.
So, my doctorate is in counseloreducation and supervision.
(02:59):
I just graduated this year.
Awesome! Congrats! Thanks.
I did my dissertation study on,the experiences of counselor educators
and supervisors that identifywithin the queer community
their experiences of power, privilege,and oppression in higher education,
which was a really, really cool study.
(03:21):
I'm a huge nature lover,and I'm currently doing a nature
based therapy certificate at,East Tennessee State University.
Since, you know, I graduated my PhD,and I had to find something else to do.
Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah.
and I guess a little onthe more personal side,
I am someone who lives with a severebleeding disorder
that has had a huge impacton the way I navigate my life.
(03:44):
And, I also,I share a little bit about your childhood
and early life experiences.
I have an ACES score of six.
And, my familyalso experienced homelessness
for the first 11 years of my life.
Thankfully, we had a family memberthat let us live with them.
but it was a pretty severehoarding situation, so
(04:06):
just not the healthiest environment.
And yeah, now I work as a clinic directorand a clinical instructor
in higher education.
and as a counselor to.
Wow, what's amazing?
Good for you guys. yeah.
And to all the listeners that don't know,ACES are adverse childhood experiences.
So what we go throughand you can get up to a score of ten.
(04:28):
So I think it's I think fourand a higher than solving and challenging.
So I'm definitely higher on the acesor as well.
And you knowit can come from all kinds of things.
what we know is that those higher in ACESare going to be higher in hopelessness,
you know, or moments of hopelessness.
thank you so much.
What I learned in life was,even though I came from a great family,
(04:52):
but losing my dad to suicide at 18,and a lot of the things I learned
were kind of around hopelessness,around getting stuck
in that persistent state of hopelessness.
you know,we know it's also very hard on the LGBTQ
community.
You know, hopelessness is oftena consequence of oppression,
discrimination and so, again, you know,when you look at hopelessness
(05:14):
being both despair or superlike emotional despair
and then motivational helplessness,so powerlessness to do anything about it,
of course,you're going to be higher in hopelessness.
so it's really about being proactiveabout our hope.
Not saying it's easy at all, but,you know, learning and working together
(05:36):
to cultivate hope in our livesand to learn how to hope
and really where our locus of controlis in that hope.
and so, yeah,so I'm really grateful to you
for sharing todayand being willing to be open again.
It's you know, we don'twe learn through other people and,
and when we don't, we can go through,you know, so many unnecessary challenges.
(06:00):
And I think that, you know,my addictions were just a way to soothe
my stress response.
had I learned at a young age some of theseor had I learned from people
that have gone through itbefore me as well,
that would have been really helpful.
So thank you for being here.
And for being honestabout how you're feeling.
yeah, of course. It's always an adventure.
(06:21):
I used to be terrified of public speaking,literally terrified.
And I realized that what I was doing wasI was activated my stress response
because I get in my head and I think, oh,I've got to say this, I've got.
And then I'd stop breathing.
And as soon as you stop breathing,you know, it just triggers that even more
and more and more.
And I'd get into this packed stage.
(06:41):
So I'm grateful that I've workedhard to get to a place where
I can do a podcast. So,yes. You know,
maybe you'll have your own someday too.
Yeah. I don't know about that, but I can.
I can relate with that, with getting upin front of a classroom and teaching,
like the first time I did that,that was very scary.
But now it's just like,oh, hey, this is me.
And awkward.
(07:03):
And I say words wrongand this is just who I am.
Yes. That's awesome.
We must embrace that.
This is the earlier the better.
Yeah. yeah.
So why don't you talkmore about your experiences?
So you mentioned a bleeding disorder.
What?
What is what does that even mean, though?
(07:23):
I have it's actually pretty commonin the United States.
Just most people have a very mild formand don't know that they have a bleeding
have the bleeding disorder.
But what I have is calledvon Willebrand's disorder.
and had type two a severe.
And so what that means for me is that inmy in my blood,
everyone has well, not everyone.
(07:44):
If you have sibling disorder issueswith your blood, then you don't have this.
But there's the von Willebrand factorin your blood, and that's
part of the clotting agentfor whenever you get a cut or a bruise,
that goes in and it helps your, your cellsstick together so that you can form a clot
minor, misshapen.
And so they don't stick togetherlike they should.
So the average person,if they were to get like, say,
(08:06):
a cat scratch, on averagesomeone without a bleeding
disorder would stop bleeding withinlike seven minutes.
The last time they did a,timed test on me to see how long
it would take for me to stop bleeding.
They stopped after 45 minutesbecause my blood just was not clotting.
Yeah.
yeah. Yeah.
So it's, it has a huge impacton, like, everything in my life.
(08:30):
And, you know,I was born assigned female at birth, so,
like, heavily impacted my menstrual cycle.
so from the time I started,my cycle, I was in and out of the hospital
getting blood transfusions and medicationsto try and help stop the bleeding.
But that was just like one timewhen I was 13.
(08:53):
That entire year, I bled every single day.
Yeah. Wow.
And I mean, what are the physical like?
You like, how did all that?
I mean, could you do anything? Could you?
Well, so von Willebrand,willebrand's affects the, soft tissues.
So, like, when I was really young,I would have, like,
(09:16):
really severe nosebleeds,and it would take several hours
for them to stop.
And that was not fun for a kidwho had undiagnosed ADHD
having to sit still while my mom holdsmy nose for a nose bleed.
Oh my. Gosh.
and I bruise really easy.
So at the timewhen I was younger, there was,
actually an investigation into my familyfor child abuse because I had bruises
(09:37):
just from my parentspicking me up out of the crib.
but during that time, with,heavy bleeding from my menstrual cycle,
I was just anemic all the time.
So very, very low energyhad to move really slow.
There was a couple of times whereI actually passed out from the blood loss.
(09:58):
yeah.
So just.
Exhaustion. Yeah, yeah.
And here you sit today for the PhD.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's it'skind of a miracle that I'm still alive.
Wow. Yeah.
That's amazing.
so share more. About what?
So what were the stressors?
(10:19):
So I'll kind of walk through the shineframework, if that's okay with you.
And you could just sharehow you're navigated.
Is there anything else specificallyyou want to talk about throughout this?
no. I feel like,the bleeding disorder has been
one of the biggest challengesI've had in my life, so.
Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.
And then if you're in a high renaissancefor you, you're not equipped
with a lot of the skills.
(10:40):
And I mean, for me being really reactive,very emotionally,
you know, reactive to things.
So we're very fast.
Trigger I get triggered by something.
it's so it's been a real processfor me to learn.
But thanks to neuroplasticity,you can rewire your brain
through these practices,through all of them, which is amazing.
(11:01):
So, Yeah.
And and I actually, as you go by she/hercorrect.
She/they. She/they sorry. Got it.
so you were assigned female.
And can you can you explainmore to our listeners what that means?
She/they.
so itis gender identity is unique
to every individual.
(11:23):
For me, I do not identify as cisgender.
And so for listeners,cisgender means that your gender identity
aligns with the sex assigned at birth.
So if you are assigned female at birthand you resonate with being female
and femininity, and you identifyas a female, then you would be cisgender.
for me, it kind of depends on the dayas how I identify.
(11:45):
So usually I'll just say identifyas gender fluid or gender queer.
And for me, that just means,I don't resonate
with identifying as femaleor resonate with femininity all the time.
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.
It really just ebbs and flowsand depends on the day.
So there are some daysshe/her pronouns still fine,
and there are other days that feels likeI need to come out of my skin,
(12:07):
because that's not me about it.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, and the we’regoing to do a whole episode on that.
I think it's so important.
And what people fearthey often are against.
And so being open about itand just helping understand this really.
Yeah, I'm really grateful for that. So,and I'm sure that adds
a whole other complexityto everything you navigate.
(12:33):
Definitely it, I feel like it.
And, the bleeding disorderand hot impact on my menstrual cycle.
They kind of they go together,they're like married.
But, yeah, that makes sense.
So let's talk more about stressors.
Triggers, stress skills.
again, our stress responsewhen we're triggered by things,
we have this warning of chemicalsin our body nurture and often adrenaline
(12:58):
and cortisol.
And they keep us in our downstairs brain.
And we can think and collaborateand problem solve and,
you know, be in a necessarilyhopeful place.
I say we have to use our sadnessor anger fear as indicators.
We don't want to run from them.
We want to address them,listen to them, learn from them,
and then work to get back.
(13:18):
Navigating our way back into our upstairsbrain.
That's what we talka lot of talk to a lot of kids about that.
So I can imagine there's a million thingsthat are stressors for you in life
and that have that.
And every time,I mean, if you have a bleeding disorder,
every time you it's options are cut upor anything happens.
(13:39):
That's a trigger. I would imagine.
So can you talk more about the triggersand kind of
what you do to navigate it, navigate them?
You know, you would thinkevery time I would get cut or bump
into somethingthat that would be a trigger,
but it's just so much part of my normthat it's honestly not like it's it's
almost and maybe this is very,very privileged for me to say
(14:02):
within the bleeding disorder community,but I've had a hysterectomy.
And so since the hysterectomy, it'salmost like I sometimes
forget that I have a bleeding disorderbecause that was
where all my symptoms came from.
So for me, the triggers are more of likewhen a student on campus sees me and,
assumes that I'm a personwho has a menstrual cycle
and asks me if I have a tampon or a pad,that for me as a trigger
(14:25):
because it makes you feelreally weirdly uncomfortable
or if people ask if I have childrenor when I'm going to have children,
or why don't I have children?
Those are big triggers for me,but not so much the day to day stuff.
More as like the specificto the menstrual cycle stuff.
Got it, got it.
And how do you navigateI mean, navigate the triggers.
(14:48):
Depends on the day.
depends on the day.
And that depends on the trigger.
Right? Right.
Yeah.
And you even realize,I mean, do you realize in your body
when you're getting triggered by things?
it takes me a minute to get there.
Yeah, to realize what's happening,because I'm.
I tend to be so in my head. Yeah.
And getting in touch with my bodytakes a lot of intentional effort for me.
(15:12):
Yeah. So. Yeah.
Yeah, that makes sense. I know.
And when you grow up in traumaor any kind of you become.
Yeah, almost protect itagainst those triggers somewhat.
You know,you develop this kind of a barrier.
You cannot.
And so the you draw everything doesn't it.
Back to you.
So it took me asa long time to really get in touch with
how am I feeling, what is triggering me?
(15:34):
I wore a leap which measures HRVin the real time,
and it would start vibratingwhen it noticed I was trigger
and I was like, am I?
I'm triggered?
And then I would realize, oh, I'm readingan email and this is triggering me.
So even getting in touchwith the triggers, yeah, is so important.
And to me it's such an importantstop approach
(15:56):
because until you start reallyunderstanding when you're triggered,
what triggers you, how it's triggeringyou, what it makes you feel and
how you navigate it.
You're going to have challenges becausewhen you react, when you're in those
triggered places, we do really do thingsthat are very harmful for us.
So yeah, so it's a process for you,I'm hearing.
(16:18):
Yes, very much so.
I feel like I feel like my mental healthhas a big impact on that too,
which we're kind of talking about already.
but so I'm, I have several diagnoses,but I feel like my depression
and my anxiety are like they havea huge impact on how I navigate my life.
(16:39):
And so there will be dayswhere like, everything's fine.
But as the days start getting shorterand there's less time
that I can spend outside comfortably.
Not that there's any kind of badweather, just not preparedness.
it has a big impact on, like,I guess the depression
or even seasonal affective disorder.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
(16:59):
Makes sense. Absolutely.
So how do you how do you navigate.
Like what do youdo for your stressors. And
so I do a lot of gardening.
You know. Awesome.
Yeah. Yes.
I'm very much like a chaosslash cottage garden gardener.
(17:21):
I like going on nature walks,just being outside.
I love doing sit spots.
Are you familiar with what?
That's that spot.
That's. No.
Do you go there?
Like, my favorite way to start the day?
but it's just going out in natureand finding a place that you can sit
and be comfortable and just sit in silenceand just notice,
(17:42):
the nature beings around you,see if they have any, like, messages
to offer you or if you can findany reflections of what's going on
in your world that can give youlike information or hope.
and I'll usually do that practicefor at least 15 minutes, but it always
ends up turning into like 30 or 45 minutesbecause I just I love it, but I'll go
outside in the mornings, I'll have my teaand I'll just sit in my garden
(18:05):
and just watch the birdslook at the and see the new blooms.
Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah.
Yeah.
And as you mentioned,I mean, you brought up the weather,
but it's challenging to do thatthen when you get out and crazy weather.
And so I feel likewe have to be really creative about what
skills we use and how we kind of replicatethat or in what way.
(18:28):
I saw a lot of that in Covid.
If we stopped doing our stressskills or happiness habits, we can,
you know, develop a clinical anxietydisorder, major depressive disorder.
And so for me,I had to get really creative
about the stress skills I'm using,especially
when I all of a sudden lose access to themor can't do them anymore.
(18:49):
For whatever reason.
I have to figure out another wayto manage my stress hormones.
That's healthy for me.
You know, you used to manage thatwith smoking or drinking or just things
that would take those moments away,but that weren't healthy for me.
And so, yeah, learning.
So how are you doing that?
How are you replacing that?
Are you in a closed area climate or.
(19:10):
Yeah, it actually snowed today.
We had a two hoursnow delay. So that was nice.
Fine.
Yeah.
So weirdly, I like being outsidewhen it's cold.
like,I, I like being able to put the layers on.
Yeah.
So I will still go outside.
I don't spend nearly as much time, though.
I also have, a lot of houseplantsto, like, take care of inside.
(19:35):
so I will I will, honestly,I'll just walk around my house
looking at all my different houseplants tocheck on them and see how they're doing.
Yeah, that's one thing that I do.
I also,I'll do some tapping or yoga
or some meditation.
I also, I like to crochet Little Bear too.
So yeah, that's kind of neat.
(19:55):
That title I did nine.
That's impressive.
Thank you.
Yeah, it's very meditative.
that's gathering.
Yeah.
And Iyou know, when I think about anxiety,
I think about for meit was just my fear response.
Yeah. And I got into that fear response.
(20:15):
And so this my stress skills helped menavigate my fear response.
And now I'm very aware of itand very intentional about it
so that I can instantly manage,just constantly navigate in my fear
response with stress skills.
And really the same thingwith happiness habits.
Getting serotonin.
Our bodies can produceserotonin, dopamine,
(20:37):
you know, these positive happy hormones.
And so it's learninghow to how to manufacture them
within our bodies,how to the best of our ability endorphins.
And so how do you do that?
I will say I think practicing gratitudemakes a world of difference for me,
because it's really easy for me to.
Yeah, see, the people I graduatedhigh school with, like they have children
(20:59):
that are like getting ready tograduate high school or starting to drive.
And I'm like, I have two cats and a dog.
Yeah, yeah.
and so I like I try to reframe thatin my mind to be grateful
for the fact that, you know,I am still alive, I'm still here, I'm
giving back to the communitythrough the clinic that I direct.
(21:23):
I'm able to help, the future generationsof counselors, and by that
I'm able to help more clients in that way.
And so, yeah, just focusing on the thingsthat I'm really grateful for in my life,
especially the fur babies.
Yeah. They're awesome.
I have a dog myself. It's amazing.
Yeah.
And we'vebeen smiling and releasing this bird bones
(21:45):
and so and I now was I,I used to get so annoyed
by some of the research in literatureart like just smile,
but it really likewe have to produce these happiness ones.
It really does impact how we feel.
And I can tell when I'm really low andand I have to do even more things on that,
you know, happy moment.
(22:07):
We're just like researchingwhat can we do to kind of create these
happiness moments within ourselvesthat maybe it doesn't cost money, that the
anyone can do anywhere.
And there are so many creative waysto do it.
and so what are other are there,do you have any other suggestions or tips?
so forme, trying to make myself smile
without there being like,something to prompt
(22:29):
the smile is really difficult.
And so I will try to intentionallylisten to to music
that I know will make me smile or laugh.
And so anything the Alvin andthe Chipmunks thing always makes me laugh.
So, but I this is going to sound so silly,but one of my favorite songs to listen to
when I'm feeling down is,Do you remember Weird
(22:56):
Al and how he would make parody music?
he made, a parody song for, Star Wars?
and that song, like,every time I hear it, like,
I can't not be happy when I hear that songbecause I just love it.
Right? Right. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah.
And it's so hard because it'swhen we're unhappy, we don't want.
(23:17):
And in fact, you know, we're we're donewhen we're in.
It's hard.
And that does help us to feel betterand to get back to a
healthier placewhere we can make better decisions
and work to fix challengeswe have or, you know, problems.
now it's super important.
What about the AI is inspired actions?
Do cycles steer?
(23:40):
I tend to domore like visualization
slash manifestation.
So I like digitalize things going well.
And I know there's some researchthat shows like visualizing
can be really, really powerful.
Yeah.
And so I try to tap into that and likeyeah that's usually what I do.
Awesome. Yeah. Visualization.
(24:01):
And one of the studies I've justinterviewed are actually Doctor Diane Dre.
Her did and hope is thatif you visualize something
and then you see a challengeor an obstacle, visualize the obstacle
and visualize yourselfovercoming the obstacle
or coming up with a solutionand then visualizing another obstacle
and then another solutionyou're actually more likely to achieve,
(24:21):
like it boosts your hopes for,and it makes you more likely to achieve
whatever you're visualizing.
So think that's kindof a fun little practice.
You know, you usually visualize,but you don't really see challenges
along the way.
And then it's with peopleonce they run into this challenges,
they kind of give up and they lose hope.
But if you build kind of self-efficacy,a belief Y can overcome these challenges.
(24:46):
And that's two one of the reasonswe do the shine Hope stories
we share, how people overcome challengesthat nobody, you know, that
people think you can overcome and sharehow other people have overcome them.
And, you know, evenby writing your own shine Hope story
so that you can say,I've done her things in the past.
I've overcome challenges in the past.
So this is a new challenge.
(25:08):
But I'm equipped with some skills.
I know that I can do things that are hard.
is another kind of cool booster. So.
So what about specificto your bleeding disorder?
What did you have to doto, like, get to doctors?
I mean, what specific things didyou have to do to
get a handle on it,to get to a place where,
(25:31):
you know, you can be out in society?
I just think if I had it, I'd be scared,too, you know?
I mean, if you trip and fall in your,like, playing a game or something
and you don't have anyone aroundor traveling remotely
or just any of those things, I don't know.
Oh, yeah.
(25:52):
God, my mind just went like.
Well, you asked not to go.
Yeah. No. What are the.
So what are the like?
What are the specific stuff?
So you found out at work,what age were you when you found out
you're the bleeding disorder?
Okay. Gotcha.
I remember your question now.
So I found out I was 12 or 13.
and my very, veryfirst period was seven days long.
(26:15):
The second one was like 25 days long.
And I ended up being hospitalizedbecause I lost so much blood.
I'd lost, like, over half of my body'sworth of blood in those 25 days.
so it took a lot of workwith my hematologist as well as an ObGyn,
(26:35):
and they started me outtaking one birth control that didn't work.
Then they up to two birth controlthat didn't work.
And then they added, progesteroneand that.
I mean, it worked ishbecause for the next like few years,
I would be in and out of the hospital.
I would have, like I said earlier,like a period
(26:56):
that lasted for an entire year.
And so with that medicationthat I was taking,
I had to take it at 9 (27:03):
00 Am every single day, never taking a placebo.
And if I was even 15 minutes late,then I would have a hemorrhage
where I would more than likelyend up back in the hospital.
And the medication to treat when I havea severe bleed is intravenous,
and it has to be given every six hoursand it costs around 20
(27:23):
ish thousand dollars pertime your receipt,
you receive the medication.
So it's it's staggeringly expensive.
So yeah.
And yeah, that was crazy.
That was a big part of all ofthat was just like I lived by the clock.
(27:47):
And if if,
i (27:48):
00, I had to have my medicine and take it right then and there.
And if I didn't then.
Yeah. So it's going.
To be a problem in a few days.
But haven't you remember it?
so back then it wasI knew it was life or death.
I knew if I didn't take this,then there was going to be
some really horrible consequences.
And they weren't.
(28:08):
It was not worth like,it was not worth it.
And plus my parents,my parents, my mom helped me
remember a lot of when to take it.
And it just became this like natural habitof like intuitively,
I would just know it was 9 (28:19):
00 and that I needed to look at the clock
and then go get my medicine.
Now. Now that's not the case.
I can enjoy like, oh, it'sI need to take my medicine and I'm okay.
I'm not going to die. Yeah.
but back then it really was just survival.
Wow. Yeah.
Did you have to do the of staff?
(28:41):
anytime I was hospitalized, I did.
Anytime I had have surgery, I would haveto have the intravenous stuff.
Stuff like,Gosh, my memory fails me sometimes,
but I think it was like 2 or 3 daysbefore the surgery, and then for,
oh, two weeksafter the surgery, just to make sure
(29:02):
that my body healed and that there werethere were any breakthrough bleeds.
And so,throughout my life, I've had,
4 or 5 surgeries.
And so.
Yeah.
And that's and that's still the case.
Now, if I were to need another surgeryor if I were to be in like a serious wreck
and I had internal bleeding,then that would be the medication
(29:22):
that they would need to give me.
Gonna do there.
Now, is that somewhereyou have to wear a bracelet or something
that tells you what, I do,I wear a medical bracelet all the time.
and so that way people will know.
Back in the day,they didn't keep that medication.
It's got humor.
P they didn't.
(29:42):
Not every hospital kept it in stock.
And so there was when I was in like my 19,like I was 19 or 18,
my appendix, became infectedand I had to have it removed
and we couldn't do the surgeryas soon as I needed
because we were waitingon that medication.
And while we were waiting for thathospital to receive that medication
from another hospital, my friend ruptured.
(30:05):
Yeah, it was just not not a good time.
And so that was another like,like barrier to access
for that lifesaving medication for me.
So that I could receive the treatmentI needed.
Wow. Yeah.
So now it's now standard in all hospitals.
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know.
The lastthe last time I had surgery, it was like
(30:28):
I remember the pharmacist or the hospitalactually
came to my room to introduce himselfto, to me and my partner,
because he was handdelivering the medication
because it was so expensive and so rare.
And so, I don't think most peoplehave that experience
with their medicationwhen they're in the hospital.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How did youhow did you pay for all the treatments?
(30:51):
I mean, it sounds. Yeah.
So when I turned 18,I incurred a lot of medical debt
that my parents had not been able to pay.
Yeah.
and then at another point,I didn't have insurance,
and so I incurred more medical debt.
And I actually ended uphaving to file medical bankruptcy
because I justI couldn't afford the astronomical.
(31:12):
Costs,know what I mean? So many people do.
That's like such a big challengethat works in the US.
Yeah.
And then that's a whole nother layer of,you know,
challenges and stressorsand all of these things.
So. Well, it it's amazing.
I mean, that you're, you know, again,you graduated with a PhD,
(31:34):
you know, you've gone through all thisand it's taking one step,
putting one step in front of the otherand continuing to work
to kind of solvethe challenges that as they have.
you know, yeah.
How do you how is your bloodcondition now?
How do you how do you feel?
I mean, is it still pretty?
I mean, it's still like,if I were to get caught,
(31:55):
it's going to take a whilefor to stop bleeding.
And I have to like this time of the year.
I have to be really,like, intentional about my nosebleeds
because they can be pretty bad.
Now to.
But for the most part,as long as knock on wood, I don't get into
any accidents like while I'm drivingor like there's no like
severe impact on my body, that's I.
(32:17):
I go through life pretty normal,just a little bit more hyper
vigilant than someone who maybedoesn't have a bleeding disorder.
Yeah. Makes sense.
and what about your network?
So who is in your networkand has been supportive for you
throughout this process? I havethey've had,
I've had a lot of really wonderful friendsthat, you know, as friendships
(32:37):
do, they ebb and flow. But,I've had some friends
that have really been there for me.
Like when I had my hysterectomy,I had one friend that didn't leave me.
I have another friend that stayedwith my mom during the surgery.
And so, they were really wonderful people.
We've, you know, we're all busyand our lives have drifted,
so I don't get to see or connectwith them as often, but I still hold them.
(33:00):
And I really likespecial place in my heart.
I would say my nurturing network right nowis honestly my fur babies are definitely
in that network because they are likethe best wellness thing ever for me.
Yeah. Yeah.
You have my partnerand then I've got some friends too
that are they just they feed my soul.
(33:25):
yeah.
It's amazing.
When we were talking earlier,I was in another conversation about
how it's it takes effort to make friends,to keep connected with friends, you know?
Yeah.
And as we're busy and, like,that can become more challenging.
And as we go through transitions,transitions,
sometimes our friends need to change,and we need to be intentional
about making those connections,and our friends and our families
(33:46):
and all of those people can let us down.
And so it's important that we also statehave a connection to something.
And some and fur babies are awesome.
you know, yes, I have a dog.
And no matter what anyone thinks of me,my dog is always my biggest fan.
(34:08):
Just just, you know, great.
Amazing to have, and that's great.
There's so much research around it.
You know, I love how all the evidenceis finally coming out about a
lot of what we knew all along.
Or, what kind of motivates our hope. So.
And Pats and Animals are definitelyone of them, so that's awesome.
(34:28):
Yeah. Yeah.
and then the E inour shine is a limiting challenges.
And this is kind of a hodgepodgeof everything our brain does
till I get in the way of wordsor rumination.
It's our worry, it'sour internalizing failure.
It's our trying to control thingsoutside of our control.
(34:50):
You know, it's our biasesand just all of these things.
So can you talk?
What are your biggest challenges?
You I don't mean all of them not I meanall of them.
I know exactly.
Yeah.
yeah, I think,I know we always say, like,
we're our own worst critic.
(35:11):
We are, and I.
Oh, my gosh, I definitely am.
I think I will be harsher and meanerto myself than anyone else ever.
Possibly could be worse off.
Yeah.
So those automatic negative thoughtsthat I have, they are a huge challenge.
And with them comes the ruminationand the worry
and then internalizingand taking everything personally. And,
(35:36):
yeah, it's just it's been it's been,a great opportunity to learn to unlearn
those patterns,to try to unlearn those patterns
and try to give myselfsome of that kindness and compassion
and grace that I give to mosteveryone else that I ever meet.
(35:57):
but yeah, it's hard to give it to myself.
Yeah.
I think even the awareness of thatand that, you know,
becoming aware of thatis such an important part of the process.
Do you use any effort?
Do you use affirmations at all?
I actually do like mantras in my mind.
And so whenever, yeah, whenever thatthose thoughts start coming in.
(36:17):
I, have a lot of the thoughts also likefor me, it's almost like
if I experience any kind of conflict oranything that feels like I
feel like I'm being attacked, even thoughthat's probably not what's happening
for me growing up, if there was conflict,that was life or death situation usually.
And so now I almost interpret conflictas life or death.
(36:40):
And so for me, I have to do the mantraI am safe, I'm calm, I'm protected,
and like saying that to myselfand visual lighting as well.
Like when I say when I say I'm grounded,I visualize,
words coming out of the bottom of my spineand going down into the earth.
And when I say I am protected,I visualize like just this,
(37:03):
like bubbleof like energy and light
that surrounds me, that protects me.
And so the mantra and the visualization,it seems to really help to ground me
and bring me back to the momentand realize there's
no life or death situation here.
You just forgot to do this thing.
And I up, right?
Yeah, that's awesomethat you found something that works.
(37:25):
And, you know, different thingswork for different people.
So I always say explorewhat works for you.
You know, the mantras, affirmations, younot touching the five four, three, two,
one word touch, smell, taste.
You know something.
You have a practiceyou can work to because it is.
We're in our minds and when we get backinto the present moment, it's
usually everything's okay in the present.
(37:46):
It's in our minds that it's not okay.
And so and just even learningwhat our brain does to kind of
talk us into these states,you know, and how to intervene
and that we are not our thoughts.
We are observing our thoughts.
So I love Michael Singer.
He's really an inspirationfor some of this work. So,
(38:07):
yeah, that's awesome.
And so that's how you shine.
So I love that.
Also help.
I wonder if we could just have just chatfor a few minutes
about some a conversationI had earlier, if you're willing, about,
you know, what do we do about and I,I it's a conversation
I have all the time because I goand we speak with different populations
and there are certain populationsthat are so discriminated against,
(38:31):
so marginal, was so high in hopelessness.
Yeah.
And that say, how can I hopeand why should I hope when the system are,
you know, set up this wayand you know, we're the power
and they're not changing.
(38:55):
what do you, what do you have any adviceor thoughts or, you know, words of wisdom
on that from your perspective?
that's saying that Ijust thinking
about institutionalized racismand how.
Yeah,just how that impacts Bipoc communities.
(39:17):
And also I'm thinkingabout intersectionality and how,
like the different layersof our different identities
and how they're layered andhow they impact how we navigate the world.
and then I'm also thinking about,like, implicit biases, the biases
that a lot of people hold internallythat they were learning
(39:38):
before they even understoodwhat they were learning or how to think,
but they were learning.
And so.
I guess,to answer that question, I'm just going
to kind of look at it from a macro lens.
So just on an individual level.
And so perhaps one of the wayswe can start to combat
(39:59):
that is by inviting peopleto be more open,
to have an honestlook at what implicit biases they hold
and not not attach those biases towhether or not they're good or bad people.
So not threatening their worthor their value, but to be more critical,
be a more critical consumerof their thoughts and their beliefs, and
(40:23):
is is this thing that I didthat a microaggression that caused harm?
Is thata symptom of an internal belief
that I didn't realize I had?
And does that align with my values?
And if it doesn't, how can Ihow can I unpack that?
How can I unlearn that? And how can I,show up in more authentic ways to support
(40:45):
communities that I care deeply aboutand people that I love?
On to counseling is one waythat a lot of people can do that.
You know?
Yeah.
It's wonderful.
I know I we all need counselors.
Yes, I, I love my counselor.
You know that.
I know it doesn't mean you're sickor there's something wrong with, you know,
(41:05):
such a.
It means you're human. Exactly.
And life is challengingand people can be challenging, you know?
Yeah. Yeah.
And I mean, having that non-biasedthird party who has total
unconditional positiveregard for you is it's so rare.
and Ineed a lot of people who are like, oh,
I try the therapists.
(41:27):
And they were no good for me.
I didn't like them.
I don't want to go back.
And I hear that, and I understand that.
And some people really do have horribleexperiences with therapists,
and I don't mean to minimize that.
And I would like to invite themto consider, a metaphor of
like when you're a kidand you change schools and you're
trying to find your new friend group,not every friend group in that school
(41:48):
is going to be a good fit.
You got to find the onethat's going to be a good fit.
And I think it's the samefor trying to find a counselor.
You got to find the one that'sgoing to be a good fit, and not everybody
is going to be a good fit.
Yeah.
solutely absolutely. Yeah.
And I've had themthrough different periods of my life.
Different counselors have served,you know, purposes
during different periods of time, too.
(42:10):
So it's okay to change at some pointto if, you know, if you want some.
Absolutely. Yeah.
And you don't want to wait until you're intime of crisis to go find a therapist,
that's not the easiest time to find one.
That's good because you're in crisis.
You know, it's about,we have one.
And in your nourishing network,you know what I call.
(42:32):
Yeah. I should have added herto my nourishing network.
I'm sorry, I forgot, but, yeah, shedefinitely,
she hold space for mewhen I need it, and she.
Yeah, I appreciate her very much.
Yeah.
That's awesome. Yeah.
yeah.
So, any final thoughts or thingsyou want to share?
(42:55):
to our listenersor about your story or tips or.
Oh my gosh.
just to be kind to yourself,give yourself some grace
and some kindness andcontinue to be open and curious.
(43:16):
yeah.
Wonderful.
Well, thank you so much for joining,trustee with a Y
and sharing your, your storyand your journey and your challenges and,
and how you're navigating,many healthy ways.
And, you know,hopefully some of our listeners
got some skills that they can usein their own lives or similar challenges
or different challenges.
(43:40):
but as I said, we're betterwhen we share stories and we share
what's working and what's not workingand learn kind of together.
So I'm really grateful.
How can people learn more about you,or is that something you want to?
what'swhat's the what's the normal way
people are the other people.
Well, LinkedIn or websitesor any of the, that those.
(44:04):
Yeah.
I do have a LinkedInand it's under Christine
and then in parentheses, Kristi with a Y.
Okay. Awesome.
yeah.
So they've been find me on thereif they want or I,
I do have an Etsy shopwhere I sell my crochet if anybody is.
You just did I, did I, I just started itand like, I only have two items
because another one just sold.
(44:26):
But that's that's a tiny shop.
But it's the liminal, the liminal nook.
The liminal, not.
Wow, liminal.
ally I don't know.
nook. Awesome.
That's so cool. Well, got. I'm fast.
There's two.
I'm a hurryand takes you a while to make, you know.
(44:49):
it depends on what it is.
The more I doit, the faster I get. So, like, this.
Awesome. Sweater took, like, 3 or 4 days.
wow, that's pretty incredible.
Thank you. Oh.
That's awesome.
Well, thank you so much for joiningand sharing your story.
It was really wonderfulconnecting with you.
Thank you.
Likewise, learning more about you.
And thanks for going into counseling.
(45:10):
You need counselors out there.
so much so,so many people, different challenges.
you know, talk in my nourishing networkfor sure.
Therapist. So,and thanks to all you listeners
for listening in, pleasebe sure to share this with others.
spread the messagethat hope is measurable and teachable,
(45:31):
and we've got to be intentionalabout our hope and practice skills.
And our shine Hope framework provideskind of an evidence
based approachfor how we can can work on our hope.
It's a journey.
You know, it's a daily journey.
So again, thanks for listening.
And and Christy,thank you again for joining us today.
Yeah. Thank you so much for having me.
I really appreciate it.
(45:52):
Thanks. have a great day. Keep shining.
Thank you all for listening into the Hope Matrix podcast.
We want to shine a lightthat hope is teachable.
Hope is measurable and teachableand provide you with actionable insights
for how you can start activatinghope in your life today
(46:13):
and provide a framework so you can starttalking about hope with other people
and practice these skills togetherbecause we are better with hope.
Please feel freeto check out theshinehopecompany.com,
where we list all of our resources aroundhow to Hope.
We have a lot of free programsfor how to hope, including the five day
Challenge, our Hope infographicwith a lot of skills
(46:36):
that showcase how to hope and articlesof how to incorporate hope in your life.
We have The Hopebeat Weekly,which is a weekly newsletter
that shares strategies for hope.
We have a My Hope Story templates soyou can write your own Hope story today.
Also my Hope Hero so we can sharewhat our heroes are doing to activate
hope in their lives.
(46:59):
And this is especially good with youthso they can start looking up
to people that have overcome similaror challenges to them
and seen how these heroes use the ShineHope framework.
We have a Hopeful Minds for Teens programand Hopeful minds Overview
Educator Guides.
We have a new evidencebased college course so you can activate
Hope on the college campus.
(47:21):
There are programs in the workplace.
Overview courses 90 minute coursesfor learning the what,
why and how to hope.
What I want you to know about hopeis it's a skill.
You've got to practice these skillsto become hopeful.
It's easyto fall into despair and helplessness
when we deal with challenges in life,and it takes intentional work
and practice to get to hope.
(47:44):
And yet it is always possible.
So no matter what life brings.
Keep shining hope.
Thanks so much for listeningand have an awesome day.
And of course, I’ve got to add this, thatthis program is designed to assist you
in learning about hope should not be usedfor medical advice, counseling,
or other health related services.
iFred, The Shine Hope Company and myself,Kathryn Goetzke
(48:07):
do not endorse or provide any medicaladvice, diagnosis or treatment.
I am not a medical doctor.
The information provided hereshould not be used for the diagnosis
or treatment of any medical conditionand cannot be substituted
for the advice of physicians, licenseprofessionals or therapists
who are familiarwith your specific situation.
(48:30):
Consulta licensed medical profession or call 911.
If you are in need of immediate assistanceand be sure to know the crisis Hotline.
988. If you are in need of support.
Thanks so much for listening.
Take good care of yourselfand keep shining hope.
This is Kathryn Goetzke,host of The Hope Matrix Podcast.
We are here to share science, storiesand strategies for how to hope.
I'm the Chief Hope officer of the ShineHope Company.
And SHINE is the mnemonicfor how we teach hope.
So when we talk about hope,we talk about how we use Stress Skills,
(00:22):
Happiness habits, Inspired Actions,Nourishing Networks
and Eliminating Challengeswhich are thinking patterns that
get in the way of our ability to hope.
Hope is a skill.
You can measure hope, you can teach hopeand you can start practicing skills
to activate higherhope in your life today.
(00:44):
And on this Hope Matrix podcast,we aim to bring in guests,
experts in science, people with stories,and those that have strategies
for activating hope in your life.
Well hello everyone.
All the listener's so grateful to have youhere today for the Hope matrix podcast.
(01:05):
really,I appreciate you taking time to learn more
about hope and strategiesfor how to shine hope in your life.
today we have DoctorChristy Oaks with us on the podcast.
That's Christy with the Y.
so I, for all those listening, and I'mreally grateful to have Christy here
to share her expertise and some of her ownjourney and shine hope skills.
(01:28):
So first of all,I want to welcome you to the podcast.
So I thank you so much for joining today.
Yeah, thank you so much, Kathryn.
I'm so happy and excited and nervousto be here.
Oh, amazing.
I know I was terrified when I did my firstpodcast, and now I just get used to it.
And then I listen to myselfand I think I shouldn’t listen to myself.
(01:51):
Now I'm really grateful.
You know, it takes such courage to sharestories, live,
especially when it's personal to us.
Yeah, yeah. No doubt.
And yeah,I think it's the only way we all grow.
And I think when we share stories,it can make it so much easier
for the next person.
If, you know, we share it with intentionand with some of the strategies.
(02:15):
But yes, I,you know, talk a lot about how I struggled
so much as a youth and, and in my 20s andso much of the shine framework
I use was the negativekind of turning to addictions
and self-harm and all of these thingsthat were actually making everything
worse for me and, and for my life.
And, so by sharing skillsand your story of things
(02:39):
that you've gone throughand how you navigated
and the healthy tools we use,the ones that we know are kind of backed
by science, it's really I'mreally grateful, as you are a doctor, too.
Yeah. So that's amazing.
Why don’t we start, can you just sharea little bit more about yourself?
Yeah.
So, my doctorate is in counseloreducation and supervision.
(02:59):
I just graduated this year.
Awesome! Congrats! Thanks.
I did my dissertation study on,the experiences of counselor educators
and supervisors that identifywithin the queer community
their experiences of power, privilege,and oppression in higher education,
which was a really, really cool study.
(03:21):
I'm a huge nature lover,and I'm currently doing a nature
based therapy certificate at,East Tennessee State University.
Since, you know, I graduated my PhD,and I had to find something else to do.
Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah.
and I guess a little onthe more personal side,
I am someone who lives with a severebleeding disorder
that has had a huge impacton the way I navigate my life.
(03:44):
And, I also,I share a little bit about your childhood
and early life experiences.
I have an ACES score of six.
And, my familyalso experienced homelessness
for the first 11 years of my life.
Thankfully, we had a family memberthat let us live with them.
but it was a pretty severehoarding situation, so
(04:06):
just not the healthiest environment.
And yeah, now I work as a clinic directorand a clinical instructor
in higher education.
and as a counselor to.
Wow, what's amazing?
Good for you guys. yeah.
And to all the listeners that don't know,ACES are adverse childhood experiences.
So what we go throughand you can get up to a score of ten.
(04:28):
So I think it's I think fourand a higher than solving and challenging.
So I'm definitely higher on the acesor as well.
And you knowit can come from all kinds of things.
what we know is that those higher in ACESare going to be higher in hopelessness,
you know, or moments of hopelessness.
thank you so much.
What I learned in life was,even though I came from a great family,
(04:52):
but losing my dad to suicide at 18,and a lot of the things I learned
were kind of around hopelessness,around getting stuck
in that persistent state of hopelessness.
you know,we know it's also very hard on the LGBTQ
community.
You know, hopelessness is oftena consequence of oppression,
discrimination and so, again, you know,when you look at hopelessness
(05:14):
being both despair or superlike emotional despair
and then motivational helplessness,so powerlessness to do anything about it,
of course,you're going to be higher in hopelessness.
so it's really about being proactiveabout our hope.
Not saying it's easy at all, but,you know, learning and working together
(05:36):
to cultivate hope in our livesand to learn how to hope
and really where our locus of controlis in that hope.
and so, yeah,so I'm really grateful to you
for sharing todayand being willing to be open again.
It's you know, we don'twe learn through other people and,
and when we don't, we can go through,you know, so many unnecessary challenges.
(06:00):
And I think that, you know,my addictions were just a way to soothe
my stress response.
had I learned at a young age some of theseor had I learned from people
that have gone through itbefore me as well,
that would have been really helpful.
So thank you for being here.
And for being honestabout how you're feeling.
yeah, of course. It's always an adventure.
(06:21):
I used to be terrified of public speaking,literally terrified.
And I realized that what I was doing wasI was activated my stress response
because I get in my head and I think, oh,I've got to say this, I've got.
And then I'd stop breathing.
And as soon as you stop breathing,you know, it just triggers that even more
and more and more.
And I'd get into this packed stage.
(06:41):
So I'm grateful that I've workedhard to get to a place where
I can do a podcast. So,yes. You know,
maybe you'll have your own someday too.
Yeah. I don't know about that, but I can.
I can relate with that, with getting upin front of a classroom and teaching,
like the first time I did that,that was very scary.
But now it's just like,oh, hey, this is me.
And awkward.
(07:03):
And I say words wrongand this is just who I am.
Yes. That's awesome.
We must embrace that.
This is the earlier the better.
Yeah. yeah.
So why don't you talkmore about your experiences?
So you mentioned a bleeding disorder.
What?
What is what does that even mean, though?
(07:23):
I have it's actually pretty commonin the United States.
Just most people have a very mild formand don't know that they have a bleeding
have the bleeding disorder.
But what I have is calledvon Willebrand's disorder.
and had type two a severe.
And so what that means for me is that inmy in my blood,
everyone has well, not everyone.
(07:44):
If you have sibling disorder issueswith your blood, then you don't have this.
But there's the von Willebrand factorin your blood, and that's
part of the clotting agentfor whenever you get a cut or a bruise,
that goes in and it helps your, your cellsstick together so that you can form a clot
minor, misshapen.
And so they don't stick togetherlike they should.
So the average person,if they were to get like, say,
(08:06):
a cat scratch, on averagesomeone without a bleeding
disorder would stop bleeding withinlike seven minutes.
The last time they did a,timed test on me to see how long
it would take for me to stop bleeding.
They stopped after 45 minutesbecause my blood just was not clotting.
Yeah.
yeah. Yeah.
So it's, it has a huge impacton, like, everything in my life.
(08:30):
And, you know,I was born assigned female at birth, so,
like, heavily impacted my menstrual cycle.
so from the time I started,my cycle, I was in and out of the hospital
getting blood transfusions and medicationsto try and help stop the bleeding.
But that was just like one timewhen I was 13.
(08:53):
That entire year, I bled every single day.
Yeah. Wow.
And I mean, what are the physical like?
You like, how did all that?
I mean, could you do anything? Could you?
Well, so von Willebrand,willebrand's affects the, soft tissues.
So, like, when I was really young,I would have, like,
(09:16):
really severe nosebleeds,and it would take several hours
for them to stop.
And that was not fun for a kidwho had undiagnosed ADHD
having to sit still while my mom holdsmy nose for a nose bleed.
Oh my. Gosh.
and I bruise really easy.
So at the timewhen I was younger, there was,
actually an investigation into my familyfor child abuse because I had bruises
(09:37):
just from my parentspicking me up out of the crib.
but during that time, with,heavy bleeding from my menstrual cycle,
I was just anemic all the time.
So very, very low energyhad to move really slow.
There was a couple of times whereI actually passed out from the blood loss.
(09:58):
yeah.
So just.
Exhaustion. Yeah, yeah.
And here you sit today for the PhD.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's it'skind of a miracle that I'm still alive.
Wow. Yeah.
That's amazing.
so share more. About what?
So what were the stressors?
(10:19):
So I'll kind of walk through the shineframework, if that's okay with you.
And you could just sharehow you're navigated.
Is there anything else specificallyyou want to talk about throughout this?
no. I feel like,the bleeding disorder has been
one of the biggest challengesI've had in my life, so.
Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.
And then if you're in a high renaissancefor you, you're not equipped
with a lot of the skills.
(10:40):
And I mean, for me being really reactive,very emotionally,
you know, reactive to things.
So we're very fast.
Trigger I get triggered by something.
it's so it's been a real processfor me to learn.
But thanks to neuroplasticity,you can rewire your brain
through these practices,through all of them, which is amazing.
(11:01):
So, Yeah.
And and I actually, as you go by she/hercorrect.
She/they. She/they sorry. Got it.
so you were assigned female.
And can you can you explainmore to our listeners what that means?
She/they.
so itis gender identity is unique
to every individual.
(11:23):
For me, I do not identify as cisgender.
And so for listeners,cisgender means that your gender identity
aligns with the sex assigned at birth.
So if you are assigned female at birthand you resonate with being female
and femininity, and you identifyas a female, then you would be cisgender.
for me, it kind of depends on the dayas how I identify.
(11:45):
So usually I'll just say identifyas gender fluid or gender queer.
And for me, that just means,I don't resonate
with identifying as femaleor resonate with femininity all the time.
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.
It really just ebbs and flowsand depends on the day.
So there are some daysshe/her pronouns still fine,
and there are other days that feels likeI need to come out of my skin,
(12:07):
because that's not me about it.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, and the we’regoing to do a whole episode on that.
I think it's so important.
And what people fearthey often are against.
And so being open about itand just helping understand this really.
Yeah, I'm really grateful for that. So,and I'm sure that adds
a whole other complexityto everything you navigate.
(12:33):
Definitely it, I feel like it.
And, the bleeding disorderand hot impact on my menstrual cycle.
They kind of they go together,they're like married.
But, yeah, that makes sense.
So let's talk more about stressors.
Triggers, stress skills.
again, our stress responsewhen we're triggered by things,
we have this warning of chemicalsin our body nurture and often adrenaline
(12:58):
and cortisol.
And they keep us in our downstairs brain.
And we can think and collaborateand problem solve and,
you know, be in a necessarilyhopeful place.
I say we have to use our sadnessor anger fear as indicators.
We don't want to run from them.
We want to address them,listen to them, learn from them,
and then work to get back.
(13:18):
Navigating our way back into our upstairsbrain.
That's what we talka lot of talk to a lot of kids about that.
So I can imagine there's a million thingsthat are stressors for you in life
and that have that.
And every time,I mean, if you have a bleeding disorder,
every time you it's options are cut upor anything happens.
(13:39):
That's a trigger. I would imagine.
So can you talk more about the triggersand kind of
what you do to navigate it, navigate them?
You know, you would thinkevery time I would get cut or bump
into somethingthat that would be a trigger,
but it's just so much part of my normthat it's honestly not like it's it's
almost and maybe this is very,very privileged for me to say
(14:02):
within the bleeding disorder community,but I've had a hysterectomy.
And so since the hysterectomy, it'salmost like I sometimes
forget that I have a bleeding disorderbecause that was
where all my symptoms came from.
So for me, the triggers are more of likewhen a student on campus sees me and,
assumes that I'm a personwho has a menstrual cycle
and asks me if I have a tampon or a pad,that for me as a trigger
(14:25):
because it makes you feelreally weirdly uncomfortable
or if people ask if I have childrenor when I'm going to have children,
or why don't I have children?
Those are big triggers for me,but not so much the day to day stuff.
More as like the specificto the menstrual cycle stuff.
Got it, got it.
And how do you navigateI mean, navigate the triggers.
(14:48):
Depends on the day.
depends on the day.
And that depends on the trigger.
Right? Right.
Yeah.
And you even realize,I mean, do you realize in your body
when you're getting triggered by things?
it takes me a minute to get there.
Yeah, to realize what's happening,because I'm.
I tend to be so in my head. Yeah.
And getting in touch with my bodytakes a lot of intentional effort for me.
(15:12):
Yeah. So. Yeah.
Yeah, that makes sense. I know.
And when you grow up in traumaor any kind of you become.
Yeah, almost protect itagainst those triggers somewhat.
You know,you develop this kind of a barrier.
You cannot.
And so the you draw everything doesn't it.
Back to you.
So it took me asa long time to really get in touch with
how am I feeling, what is triggering me?
(15:34):
I wore a leap which measures HRVin the real time,
and it would start vibratingwhen it noticed I was trigger
and I was like, am I?
I'm triggered?
And then I would realize, oh, I'm readingan email and this is triggering me.
So even getting in touchwith the triggers, yeah, is so important.
And to me it's such an importantstop approach
(15:56):
because until you start reallyunderstanding when you're triggered,
what triggers you, how it's triggeringyou, what it makes you feel and
how you navigate it.
You're going to have challenges becausewhen you react, when you're in those
triggered places, we do really do thingsthat are very harmful for us.
So yeah, so it's a process for you,I'm hearing.
(16:18):
Yes, very much so.
I feel like I feel like my mental healthhas a big impact on that too,
which we're kind of talking about already.
but so I'm, I have several diagnoses,but I feel like my depression
and my anxiety are like they havea huge impact on how I navigate my life.
(16:39):
And so there will be dayswhere like, everything's fine.
But as the days start getting shorterand there's less time
that I can spend outside comfortably.
Not that there's any kind of badweather, just not preparedness.
it has a big impact on, like,I guess the depression
or even seasonal affective disorder.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
(16:59):
Makes sense. Absolutely.
So how do you how do you navigate.
Like what do youdo for your stressors. And
so I do a lot of gardening.
You know. Awesome.
Yeah. Yes.
I'm very much like a chaosslash cottage garden gardener.
(17:21):
I like going on nature walks,just being outside.
I love doing sit spots.
Are you familiar with what?
That's that spot.
That's. No.
Do you go there?
Like, my favorite way to start the day?
but it's just going out in natureand finding a place that you can sit
and be comfortable and just sit in silenceand just notice,
(17:42):
the nature beings around you,see if they have any, like, messages
to offer you or if you can findany reflections of what's going on
in your world that can give youlike information or hope.
and I'll usually do that practicefor at least 15 minutes, but it always
ends up turning into like 30 or 45 minutesbecause I just I love it, but I'll go
outside in the mornings, I'll have my teaand I'll just sit in my garden
(18:05):
and just watch the birdslook at the and see the new blooms.
Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah.
Yeah.
And as you mentioned,I mean, you brought up the weather,
but it's challenging to do thatthen when you get out and crazy weather.
And so I feel likewe have to be really creative about what
skills we use and how we kind of replicatethat or in what way.
(18:28):
I saw a lot of that in Covid.
If we stopped doing our stressskills or happiness habits, we can,
you know, develop a clinical anxietydisorder, major depressive disorder.
And so for me,I had to get really creative
about the stress skills I'm using,especially
when I all of a sudden lose access to themor can't do them anymore.
(18:49):
For whatever reason.
I have to figure out another wayto manage my stress hormones.
That's healthy for me.
You know, you used to manage thatwith smoking or drinking or just things
that would take those moments away,but that weren't healthy for me.
And so, yeah, learning.
So how are you doing that?
How are you replacing that?
Are you in a closed area climate or.
(19:10):
Yeah, it actually snowed today.
We had a two hoursnow delay. So that was nice.
Fine.
Yeah.
So weirdly, I like being outsidewhen it's cold.
like,I, I like being able to put the layers on.
Yeah.
So I will still go outside.
I don't spend nearly as much time, though.
I also have, a lot of houseplantsto, like, take care of inside.
(19:35):
so I will I will, honestly,I'll just walk around my house
looking at all my different houseplants tocheck on them and see how they're doing.
Yeah, that's one thing that I do.
I also,I'll do some tapping or yoga
or some meditation.
I also, I like to crochet Little Bear too.
So yeah, that's kind of neat.
(19:55):
That title I did nine.
That's impressive.
Thank you.
Yeah, it's very meditative.
that's gathering.
Yeah.
And Iyou know, when I think about anxiety,
I think about for meit was just my fear response.
Yeah. And I got into that fear response.
(20:15):
And so this my stress skills helped menavigate my fear response.
And now I'm very aware of itand very intentional about it
so that I can instantly manage,just constantly navigate in my fear
response with stress skills.
And really the same thingwith happiness habits.
Getting serotonin.
Our bodies can produceserotonin, dopamine,
(20:37):
you know, these positive happy hormones.
And so it's learninghow to how to manufacture them
within our bodies,how to the best of our ability endorphins.
And so how do you do that?
I will say I think practicing gratitudemakes a world of difference for me,
because it's really easy for me to.
Yeah, see, the people I graduatedhigh school with, like they have children
(20:59):
that are like getting ready tograduate high school or starting to drive.
And I'm like, I have two cats and a dog.
Yeah, yeah.
and so I like I try to reframe thatin my mind to be grateful
for the fact that, you know,I am still alive, I'm still here, I'm
giving back to the communitythrough the clinic that I direct.
(21:23):
I'm able to help, the future generationsof counselors, and by that
I'm able to help more clients in that way.
And so, yeah, just focusing on the thingsthat I'm really grateful for in my life,
especially the fur babies.
Yeah. They're awesome.
I have a dog myself. It's amazing.
Yeah.
And we'vebeen smiling and releasing this bird bones
(21:45):
and so and I now was I,I used to get so annoyed
by some of the research in literatureart like just smile,
but it really likewe have to produce these happiness ones.
It really does impact how we feel.
And I can tell when I'm really low andand I have to do even more things on that,
you know, happy moment.
(22:07):
We're just like researchingwhat can we do to kind of create these
happiness moments within ourselvesthat maybe it doesn't cost money, that the
anyone can do anywhere.
And there are so many creative waysto do it.
and so what are other are there,do you have any other suggestions or tips?
so forme, trying to make myself smile
without there being like,something to prompt
(22:29):
the smile is really difficult.
And so I will try to intentionallylisten to to music
that I know will make me smile or laugh.
And so anything the Alvin andthe Chipmunks thing always makes me laugh.
So, but I this is going to sound so silly,but one of my favorite songs to listen to
when I'm feeling down is,Do you remember Weird
(22:56):
Al and how he would make parody music?
he made, a parody song for, Star Wars?
and that song, like,every time I hear it, like,
I can't not be happy when I hear that songbecause I just love it.
Right? Right. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah.
And it's so hard because it'swhen we're unhappy, we don't want.
(23:17):
And in fact, you know, we're we're donewhen we're in.
It's hard.
And that does help us to feel betterand to get back to a
healthier placewhere we can make better decisions
and work to fix challengeswe have or, you know, problems.
now it's super important.
What about the AI is inspired actions?
Do cycles steer?
(23:40):
I tend to domore like visualization
slash manifestation.
So I like digitalize things going well.
And I know there's some researchthat shows like visualizing
can be really, really powerful.
Yeah.
And so I try to tap into that and likeyeah that's usually what I do.
Awesome. Yeah. Visualization.
(24:01):
And one of the studies I've justinterviewed are actually Doctor Diane Dre.
Her did and hope is thatif you visualize something
and then you see a challengeor an obstacle, visualize the obstacle
and visualize yourselfovercoming the obstacle
or coming up with a solutionand then visualizing another obstacle
and then another solutionyou're actually more likely to achieve,
(24:21):
like it boosts your hopes for,and it makes you more likely to achieve
whatever you're visualizing.
So think that's kindof a fun little practice.
You know, you usually visualize,but you don't really see challenges
along the way.
And then it's with peopleonce they run into this challenges,
they kind of give up and they lose hope.
But if you build kind of self-efficacy,a belief Y can overcome these challenges.
(24:46):
And that's two one of the reasonswe do the shine Hope stories
we share, how people overcome challengesthat nobody, you know, that
people think you can overcome and sharehow other people have overcome them.
And, you know, evenby writing your own shine Hope story
so that you can say,I've done her things in the past.
I've overcome challenges in the past.
So this is a new challenge.
(25:08):
But I'm equipped with some skills.
I know that I can do things that are hard.
is another kind of cool booster. So.
So what about specificto your bleeding disorder?
What did you have to doto, like, get to doctors?
I mean, what specific things didyou have to do to
get a handle on it,to get to a place where,
(25:31):
you know, you can be out in society?
I just think if I had it, I'd be scared,too, you know?
I mean, if you trip and fall in your,like, playing a game or something
and you don't have anyone aroundor traveling remotely
or just any of those things, I don't know.
Oh, yeah.
(25:52):
God, my mind just went like.
Well, you asked not to go.
Yeah. No. What are the.
So what are the like?
What are the specific stuff?
So you found out at work,what age were you when you found out
you're the bleeding disorder?
Okay. Gotcha.
I remember your question now.
So I found out I was 12 or 13.
and my very, veryfirst period was seven days long.
(26:15):
The second one was like 25 days long.
And I ended up being hospitalizedbecause I lost so much blood.
I'd lost, like, over half of my body'sworth of blood in those 25 days.
so it took a lot of workwith my hematologist as well as an ObGyn,
(26:35):
and they started me outtaking one birth control that didn't work.
Then they up to two birth controlthat didn't work.
And then they added, progesteroneand that.
I mean, it worked ishbecause for the next like few years,
I would be in and out of the hospital.
I would have, like I said earlier,like a period
(26:56):
that lasted for an entire year.
And so with that medicationthat I was taking,
I had to take it at 9 (27:03):
00 Am every single day, never taking a placebo.
And if I was even 15 minutes late,then I would have a hemorrhage
where I would more than likelyend up back in the hospital.
And the medication to treat when I havea severe bleed is intravenous,
and it has to be given every six hoursand it costs around 20
(27:23):
ish thousand dollars pertime your receipt,
you receive the medication.
So it's it's staggeringly expensive.
So yeah.
And yeah, that was crazy.
That was a big part of all ofthat was just like I lived by the clock.
(27:47):
And if if,
i (27:48):
00, I had to have my medicine and take it right then and there.
And if I didn't then.
Yeah. So it's going.
To be a problem in a few days.
But haven't you remember it?
so back then it wasI knew it was life or death.
I knew if I didn't take this,then there was going to be
some really horrible consequences.
And they weren't.
(28:08):
It was not worth like,it was not worth it.
And plus my parents,my parents, my mom helped me
remember a lot of when to take it.
And it just became this like natural habitof like intuitively,
I would just know it was 9 (28:19):
00 and that I needed to look at the clock
and then go get my medicine.
Now. Now that's not the case.
I can enjoy like, oh, it'sI need to take my medicine and I'm okay.
I'm not going to die. Yeah.
but back then it really was just survival.
Wow. Yeah.
Did you have to do the of staff?
(28:41):
anytime I was hospitalized, I did.
Anytime I had have surgery, I would haveto have the intravenous stuff.
Stuff like,Gosh, my memory fails me sometimes,
but I think it was like 2 or 3 daysbefore the surgery, and then for,
oh, two weeksafter the surgery, just to make sure
(29:02):
that my body healed and that there werethere were any breakthrough bleeds.
And so,throughout my life, I've had,
4 or 5 surgeries.
And so.
Yeah.
And that's and that's still the case.
Now, if I were to need another surgeryor if I were to be in like a serious wreck
and I had internal bleeding,then that would be the medication
(29:22):
that they would need to give me.
Gonna do there.
Now, is that somewhereyou have to wear a bracelet or something
that tells you what, I do,I wear a medical bracelet all the time.
and so that way people will know.
Back in the day,they didn't keep that medication.
It's got humor.
P they didn't.
(29:42):
Not every hospital kept it in stock.
And so there was when I was in like my 19,like I was 19 or 18,
my appendix, became infectedand I had to have it removed
and we couldn't do the surgeryas soon as I needed
because we were waitingon that medication.
And while we were waiting for thathospital to receive that medication
from another hospital, my friend ruptured.
(30:05):
Yeah, it was just not not a good time.
And so that was another like,like barrier to access
for that lifesaving medication for me.
So that I could receive the treatmentI needed.
Wow. Yeah.
So now it's now standard in all hospitals.
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know.
The lastthe last time I had surgery, it was like
(30:28):
I remember the pharmacist or the hospitalactually
came to my room to introduce himselfto, to me and my partner,
because he was handdelivering the medication
because it was so expensive and so rare.
And so, I don't think most peoplehave that experience
with their medicationwhen they're in the hospital.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How did youhow did you pay for all the treatments?
(30:51):
I mean, it sounds. Yeah.
So when I turned 18,I incurred a lot of medical debt
that my parents had not been able to pay.
Yeah.
and then at another point,I didn't have insurance,
and so I incurred more medical debt.
And I actually ended uphaving to file medical bankruptcy
because I justI couldn't afford the astronomical.
(31:12):
Costs,know what I mean? So many people do.
That's like such a big challengethat works in the US.
Yeah.
And then that's a whole nother layer of,you know,
challenges and stressorsand all of these things.
So. Well, it it's amazing.
I mean, that you're, you know, again,you graduated with a PhD,
(31:34):
you know, you've gone through all thisand it's taking one step,
putting one step in front of the otherand continuing to work
to kind of solvethe challenges that as they have.
you know, yeah.
How do you how is your bloodcondition now?
How do you how do you feel?
I mean, is it still pretty?
I mean, it's still like,if I were to get caught,
(31:55):
it's going to take a whilefor to stop bleeding.
And I have to like this time of the year.
I have to be really,like, intentional about my nosebleeds
because they can be pretty bad.
Now to.
But for the most part,as long as knock on wood, I don't get into
any accidents like while I'm drivingor like there's no like
severe impact on my body, that's I.
(32:17):
I go through life pretty normal,just a little bit more hyper
vigilant than someone who maybedoesn't have a bleeding disorder.
Yeah. Makes sense.
and what about your network?
So who is in your networkand has been supportive for you
throughout this process? I havethey've had,
I've had a lot of really wonderful friendsthat, you know, as friendships
(32:37):
do, they ebb and flow. But,I've had some friends
that have really been there for me.
Like when I had my hysterectomy,I had one friend that didn't leave me.
I have another friend that stayedwith my mom during the surgery.
And so, they were really wonderful people.
We've, you know, we're all busyand our lives have drifted,
so I don't get to see or connectwith them as often, but I still hold them.
(33:00):
And I really likespecial place in my heart.
I would say my nurturing network right nowis honestly my fur babies are definitely
in that network because they are likethe best wellness thing ever for me.
Yeah. Yeah.
You have my partnerand then I've got some friends too
that are they just they feed my soul.
(33:25):
yeah.
It's amazing.
When we were talking earlier,I was in another conversation about
how it's it takes effort to make friends,to keep connected with friends, you know?
Yeah.
And as we're busy and, like,that can become more challenging.
And as we go through transitions,transitions,
sometimes our friends need to change,and we need to be intentional
about making those connections,and our friends and our families
(33:46):
and all of those people can let us down.
And so it's important that we also statehave a connection to something.
And some and fur babies are awesome.
you know, yes, I have a dog.
And no matter what anyone thinks of me,my dog is always my biggest fan.
(34:08):
Just just, you know, great.
Amazing to have, and that's great.
There's so much research around it.
You know, I love how all the evidenceis finally coming out about a
lot of what we knew all along.
Or, what kind of motivates our hope. So.
And Pats and Animals are definitelyone of them, so that's awesome.
(34:28):
Yeah. Yeah.
and then the E inour shine is a limiting challenges.
And this is kind of a hodgepodgeof everything our brain does
till I get in the way of wordsor rumination.
It's our worry, it'sour internalizing failure.
It's our trying to control thingsoutside of our control.
(34:50):
You know, it's our biasesand just all of these things.
So can you talk?
What are your biggest challenges?
You I don't mean all of them not I meanall of them.
I know exactly.
Yeah.
yeah, I think,I know we always say, like,
we're our own worst critic.
(35:11):
We are, and I.
Oh, my gosh, I definitely am.
I think I will be harsher and meanerto myself than anyone else ever.
Possibly could be worse off.
Yeah.
So those automatic negative thoughtsthat I have, they are a huge challenge.
And with them comes the ruminationand the worry
and then internalizingand taking everything personally. And,
(35:36):
yeah, it's just it's been it's been,a great opportunity to learn to unlearn
those patterns,to try to unlearn those patterns
and try to give myselfsome of that kindness and compassion
and grace that I give to mosteveryone else that I ever meet.
(35:57):
but yeah, it's hard to give it to myself.
Yeah.
I think even the awareness of thatand that, you know,
becoming aware of thatis such an important part of the process.
Do you use any effort?
Do you use affirmations at all?
I actually do like mantras in my mind.
And so whenever, yeah, whenever thatthose thoughts start coming in.
(36:17):
I, have a lot of the thoughts also likefor me, it's almost like
if I experience any kind of conflict oranything that feels like I
feel like I'm being attacked, even thoughthat's probably not what's happening
for me growing up, if there was conflict,that was life or death situation usually.
And so now I almost interpret conflictas life or death.
(36:40):
And so for me, I have to do the mantraI am safe, I'm calm, I'm protected,
and like saying that to myselfand visual lighting as well.
Like when I say when I say I'm grounded,I visualize,
words coming out of the bottom of my spineand going down into the earth.
And when I say I am protected,I visualize like just this,
(37:03):
like bubbleof like energy and light
that surrounds me, that protects me.
And so the mantra and the visualization,it seems to really help to ground me
and bring me back to the momentand realize there's
no life or death situation here.
You just forgot to do this thing.
And I up, right?
Yeah, that's awesomethat you found something that works.
(37:25):
And, you know, different thingswork for different people.
So I always say explorewhat works for you.
You know, the mantras, affirmations, younot touching the five four, three, two,
one word touch, smell, taste.
You know something.
You have a practiceyou can work to because it is.
We're in our minds and when we get backinto the present moment, it's
usually everything's okay in the present.
(37:46):
It's in our minds that it's not okay.
And so and just even learningwhat our brain does to kind of
talk us into these states,you know, and how to intervene
and that we are not our thoughts.
We are observing our thoughts.
So I love Michael Singer.
He's really an inspirationfor some of this work. So,
(38:07):
yeah, that's awesome.
And so that's how you shine.
So I love that.
Also help.
I wonder if we could just have just chatfor a few minutes
about some a conversationI had earlier, if you're willing, about,
you know, what do we do about and I,I it's a conversation
I have all the time because I goand we speak with different populations
and there are certain populationsthat are so discriminated against,
(38:31):
so marginal, was so high in hopelessness.
Yeah.
And that say, how can I hopeand why should I hope when the system are,
you know, set up this wayand you know, we're the power
and they're not changing.
(38:55):
what do you, what do you have any adviceor thoughts or, you know, words of wisdom
on that from your perspective?
that's saying that Ijust thinking
about institutionalized racismand how.
Yeah,just how that impacts Bipoc communities.
(39:17):
And also I'm thinkingabout intersectionality and how,
like the different layersof our different identities
and how they're layered andhow they impact how we navigate the world.
and then I'm also thinking about,like, implicit biases, the biases
that a lot of people hold internallythat they were learning
(39:38):
before they even understoodwhat they were learning or how to think,
but they were learning.
And so.
I guess,to answer that question, I'm just going
to kind of look at it from a macro lens.
So just on an individual level.
And so perhaps one of the wayswe can start to combat
(39:59):
that is by inviting peopleto be more open,
to have an honestlook at what implicit biases they hold
and not not attach those biases towhether or not they're good or bad people.
So not threatening their worthor their value, but to be more critical,
be a more critical consumerof their thoughts and their beliefs, and
(40:23):
is is this thing that I didthat a microaggression that caused harm?
Is thata symptom of an internal belief
that I didn't realize I had?
And does that align with my values?
And if it doesn't, how can Ihow can I unpack that?
How can I unlearn that? And how can I,show up in more authentic ways to support
(40:45):
communities that I care deeply aboutand people that I love?
On to counseling is one waythat a lot of people can do that.
You know?
Yeah.
It's wonderful.
I know I we all need counselors.
Yes, I, I love my counselor.
You know that.
I know it doesn't mean you're sickor there's something wrong with, you know,
(41:05):
such a.
It means you're human. Exactly.
And life is challengingand people can be challenging, you know?
Yeah. Yeah.
And I mean, having that non-biasedthird party who has total
unconditional positiveregard for you is it's so rare.
and Ineed a lot of people who are like, oh,
I try the therapists.
(41:27):
And they were no good for me.
I didn't like them.
I don't want to go back.
And I hear that, and I understand that.
And some people really do have horribleexperiences with therapists,
and I don't mean to minimize that.
And I would like to invite themto consider, a metaphor of
like when you're a kidand you change schools and you're
trying to find your new friend group,not every friend group in that school
(41:48):
is going to be a good fit.
You got to find the onethat's going to be a good fit.
And I think it's the samefor trying to find a counselor.
You got to find the one that'sgoing to be a good fit, and not everybody
is going to be a good fit.
Yeah.
solutely absolutely. Yeah.
And I've had themthrough different periods of my life.
Different counselors have served,you know, purposes
during different periods of time, too.
(42:10):
So it's okay to change at some pointto if, you know, if you want some.
Absolutely. Yeah.
And you don't want to wait until you're intime of crisis to go find a therapist,
that's not the easiest time to find one.
That's good because you're in crisis.
You know, it's about,we have one.
And in your nourishing network,you know what I call.
(42:32):
Yeah. I should have added herto my nourishing network.
I'm sorry, I forgot, but, yeah, shedefinitely,
she hold space for mewhen I need it, and she.
Yeah, I appreciate her very much.
Yeah.
That's awesome. Yeah.
yeah.
So, any final thoughts or thingsyou want to share?
(42:55):
to our listenersor about your story or tips or.
Oh my gosh.
just to be kind to yourself,give yourself some grace
and some kindness andcontinue to be open and curious.
(43:16):
yeah.
Wonderful.
Well, thank you so much for joining,trustee with a Y
and sharing your, your storyand your journey and your challenges and,
and how you're navigating,many healthy ways.
And, you know,hopefully some of our listeners
got some skills that they can usein their own lives or similar challenges
or different challenges.
(43:40):
but as I said, we're betterwhen we share stories and we share
what's working and what's not workingand learn kind of together.
So I'm really grateful.
How can people learn more about you,or is that something you want to?
what'swhat's the what's the normal way
people are the other people.
Well, LinkedIn or websitesor any of the, that those.
(44:04):
Yeah.
I do have a LinkedInand it's under Christine
and then in parentheses, Kristi with a Y.
Okay. Awesome.
yeah.
So they've been find me on thereif they want or I,
I do have an Etsy shopwhere I sell my crochet if anybody is.
You just did I, did I, I just started itand like, I only have two items
because another one just sold.
(44:26):
But that's that's a tiny shop.
But it's the liminal, the liminal nook.
The liminal, not.
Wow, liminal.
ally I don't know.
nook. Awesome.
That's so cool. Well, got. I'm fast.
There's two.
I'm a hurryand takes you a while to make, you know.
(44:49):
it depends on what it is.
The more I doit, the faster I get. So, like, this.
Awesome. Sweater took, like, 3 or 4 days.
wow, that's pretty incredible.
Thank you. Oh.
That's awesome.
Well, thank you so much for joiningand sharing your story.
It was really wonderfulconnecting with you.
Thank you.
Likewise, learning more about you.
And thanks for going into counseling.
(45:10):
You need counselors out there.
so much so,so many people, different challenges.
you know, talk in my nourishing networkfor sure.
Therapist. So,and thanks to all you listeners
for listening in, pleasebe sure to share this with others.
spread the messagethat hope is measurable and teachable,
(45:31):
and we've got to be intentionalabout our hope and practice skills.
And our shine Hope framework provideskind of an evidence
based approachfor how we can can work on our hope.
It's a journey.
You know, it's a daily journey.
So again, thanks for listening.
And and Christy,thank you again for joining us today.
Yeah. Thank you so much for having me.
I really appreciate it.
(45:52):
Thanks. have a great day. Keep shining.
Thank you all for listening into the Hope Matrix podcast.
We want to shine a lightthat hope is teachable.
Hope is measurable and teachableand provide you with actionable insights
for how you can start activatinghope in your life today
(46:13):
and provide a framework so you can starttalking about hope with other people
and practice these skills togetherbecause we are better with hope.
Please feel freeto check out theshinehopecompany.com,
where we list all of our resources aroundhow to Hope.
We have a lot of free programsfor how to hope, including the five day
Challenge, our Hope infographicwith a lot of skills
(46:36):
that showcase how to hope and articlesof how to incorporate hope in your life.
We have The Hopebeat Weekly,which is a weekly newsletter
that shares strategies for hope.
We have a My Hope Story templates soyou can write your own Hope story today.
Also my Hope Hero so we can sharewhat our heroes are doing to activate
hope in their lives.
(46:59):
And this is especially good with youthso they can start looking up
to people that have overcome similaror challenges to them
and seen how these heroes use the ShineHope framework.
We have a Hopeful Minds for Teens programand Hopeful minds Overview
Educator Guides.
We have a new evidencebased college course so you can activate
Hope on the college campus.
(47:21):
There are programs in the workplace.
Overview courses 90 minute coursesfor learning the what,
why and how to hope.
What I want you to know about hopeis it's a skill.
You've got to practice these skillsto become hopeful.
It's easyto fall into despair and helplessness
when we deal with challenges in life,and it takes intentional work
and practice to get to hope.
(47:44):
And yet it is always possible.
So no matter what life brings.
Keep shining hope.
Thanks so much for listeningand have an awesome day.
And of course, I’ve got to add this, thatthis program is designed to assist you
in learning about hope should not be usedfor medical advice, counseling,
or other health related services.
iFred, The Shine Hope Company and myself,Kathryn Goetzke
(48:07):
do not endorse or provide any medicaladvice, diagnosis or treatment.
I am not a medical doctor.
The information provided hereshould not be used for the diagnosis
or treatment of any medical conditionand cannot be substituted
for the advice of physicians, licenseprofessionals or therapists
who are familiarwith your specific situation.
(48:30):
Consulta licensed medical profession or call 911.
If you are in need of immediate assistanceand be sure to know the crisis Hotline.
988. If you are in need of support.
Thanks so much for listening.
Take good care of yourselfand keep shining hope.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Clifford Show
The Clifford Show with Clifford Taylor IV blends humor, culture, and behind-the-scenes sports talk with real conversations featuring athletes, creators, and personalities—spotlighting the grind, the growth, and the opportunities shaping the next generation of sports and culture.