April 16, 2025 • 64 mins
In this episode of The Hope Matrix, host Kathryn Goetzke welcomes back Elad Talmor for a powerful follow-up conversation on supporting teenagers in Israel through times of crisis. Elad shares insights from his work with youth facing anxiety, depression, PTSD, and the challenges of growing up amid uncertainty.
Together, they explore the role of purpose, gratitude, compassion, and self-care in fostering resilience. Through inspiring stories of young individuals overcoming adversity, Kathryn and Elad highlight practical strategies to navigate mental health struggles, emphasizing the power of hope in transforming lives.
More about Elad Talmor
Elad Talmor is a dedicated educator and mental health advocate working closely with youth in Israel. With a passion for fostering resilience, he helps teenagers navigate mental health challenges through hope-based strategies, self-awareness, and meaningful goal-setting. Elad has been instrumental in guiding young individuals toward personal growth, self-acceptance, and emotional well-being.
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(00:01):
This is Kathryn Goetzke,host of The Hope Matrix podcast.
We are here to share science, storiesand strategies for how to hope.
I'm the Chief Hope officer of the ShineHope Company.
And SHINE is the mnemonicfor how we teach hope.
So when we talk about hope,we talk about how we use Stress Skills,
(00:22):
Happiness habits, Inspired Actions,Nourishing Networks
and Eliminating Challengeswhich are thinking patterns that
get in the way of our ability to hope.
Hope is a skill.
You can measure hope, you can teach hopeand you can start
practicing skills to activate higherhope in your life today.
(00:44):
And on this Hope Matrix podcast,we aim to bring in guests,
experts in science, people with stories,and those that have strategies
for activating hope in your life.
Hello, everyone.
This is Kathryn Goetzke,host of the Hope Matrix podcast.
Thrilled to be with you all todayand to talk about
(01:07):
a very important subject.
And that is how we shine hopein times of really, massive crisis.
And I have a guest here with me todaywho's an expert on that
and is working with youth in Israel.
He is teaching them to shinehope in times of war.
(01:30):
Really. And and,you know, if ever there is a time
to practice the skills for hope, it'sduring times of massive crisis.
Yet it can almost seem impossible.
And so we're really, really very gratefulto have a ton more with us today
to talk about his work in Israel,what he is doing with the teenagers,
(01:53):
how he is working with themto write their shine Hope stories,
and to share more of his wisdomand insights.
with us.
So welcome to the show today.
Thank you so much for joining us.
Yes, thank you for having me.
Yes, it's been a while.
You've been on the show before, so,I'm excited to reconnect with you.
(02:16):
It's fun.
I'm not sure.
Maybe six months or something.
Since we last talked, a lot has happened.
And, you know,I would love to get an update.
What is the climate,with you all in your country?
How are things going?
Right, right.
So, well, the climate has changed.
the war is not over yet, but,it seems that, it's it's getting better.
(02:44):
I mean, there's less fighting.
Okay.
So people,in most parts of the country came,
go back to their daily lifeand now concentrate on their daily lives.
however, now, now,when we feel that, there's less fighting,
we see thatmore people are suffering, from, reaction
(03:10):
from anxiety, from their, PTSD.
All right.
Because, many people,they had to survive it.
Well, for,a long period of time, for a few months.
And now when there's less fight, the,we say that people are more suffering.
So. So it's it'sthese are still challenging times.
(03:33):
These are still trying times in this room,and and
and we are doing all this.
Yeah.
I mean, and that's quite normal.
It's not just during the time of crisis.
I mean, when we're in crisis,we almost are adrenaline.
All of those stress hormonesare keeping us active and
(03:54):
and then when it's over, it's like,it's like the that's all gone.
And so it'sdealing with the aftermath of it.
So that's quite normal.
when we go through times of great,great stress and, and everything
that's happening and like you say,the war itself is not over.
And so you're still dealing witha lot of that and, and working with youth.
(04:16):
And I mean, how,you know, how do you approach it
with, unlearning skills for hopewhen they see so much trauma
and chaos around them.
But but so, you know, I think it, itthey have one advantage,
as I know a sense as teenagersthat we don't have as adults.
(04:38):
Okay.
they're more focused on their dailylives.
That's right.
Yeah.
There are less.
I mean, generally speaking,they are less interested
in, what's going on?
in the,in the country, in the public opinion,
(04:59):
so forth.
So, yeah.
Their lives is so intensive.
Yeah.
They,they have to cope with, growing up and,
and with, so many challengeslike any other adolescents,
(05:19):
everywhere cope with,and still many of them, they, they have
friends, that love someoneor, family member who,
who is dead.
okay.
so of course that the it'sit has an impact on most of them,
(05:43):
but the, the thethe getting more and more and more
focused ontheir daily lives like teenagers and over.
That is so important.
And that is one of the biggest challengesof them that you of the shine
framework to hope is, you know, we tryto control things outside of our control.
(06:03):
We get outside of the present moment.
We ruminate, we worry all of these things.
And yet, exactly as you say,if we can just get back
into the present moment,into our daily lives, focus on engaging
with what's in front of us,with what's to do with our schoolwork,
and stop worryingso much about all of these
(06:25):
external thingsthat we have very little control over.
The more we spend our time on those thingsthat we can't control,
the more we stayin a persistent state of hopelessness.
Because, you know, when you break downhopelessness, being both
that emotional despairand the motivational helplessness,
you know, of course you're going to stayin hopelessness, you're going to feel bad
(06:46):
and you're powerlessto do anything about it.
So you are in that persistenthopelessness.
You developclinical anxiety and depression.
So really learning how to get yourselfback into the present moment
again and again and again,especially when there are so many things
external in your environmentthat are happening that are negative.
(07:07):
you know, we are seeing thatwith with the election in our country,
half of the people are pretty upsetwith the outcome of the election
and are spent, you know,they're doing a lot of that ruminating.
They're doing a lot of the worryingabout the future.
And you're going to developa clinical disorder,
a mental health disorder,if you continue to do that.
(07:29):
So I think it's a really important messagefor all of us.
And I always sayI learned so much from teens
and I always have everywhereI've worked with them,
you know, that they are,that they are doing their best
to stay engaged in their day to dayin the school, in, you know what
they're working on in that moment.
I mean, I think that's a huge lessonthat we all can take from those teens.
(07:51):
Yeah, I believe with him.
Okay.
That's when, this is an important lessonthat we can
we can learn from teenagers and,this is an important lesson
I learned from my son.
He's 14.5, so he's a great teacher abouthow does it feel to be a teenager
these days?
Yes. Yes.
Trying times for us. Right.
(08:13):
exactly how, how we say I don'tI mean, to to be engaged
in your in your tasks.
We all we areand to contribute to others.
And so it's, it's a, it's a greatdistraction and you don't get to ruminate
and to, you know, tonot not to develop clinical disorder.
(08:36):
Yeah. Absolutely.
So you have been working with the kidson their shine stories and you're here
today to share some of the teen shineHope stories.
Am I right on that?
Oh, he, Yeah. Exactly.
Yeah. Amazing. Off the shelves.
Yes, please.
We are so excited to hear what teens inIsrael are doing to for their own.
(09:00):
You know, how to create their own shinehope story in.
Our aim is to ensure everyone aroundthe world knows how to write their shine
hope story. We all have challenges.
We all you knowand the challenges of your teens are way
more significantthan than many of us can imagine.
And so being able to learn from them,you know, we're so grateful, so well.
(09:23):
So let me just say that I walkin four high schools, all right?
And, I'd like to share a few storiesor true stories of teenagers
I meet at walk.
Amazing. Psychotherapist.
And it's in these high schools.
(09:43):
And I'd like to begin the first teenager.
His name is Ben.
Ben. Ben is 18 yearsold, is a secular teenager.
His family is, well, secular.
and then copes with depressionfor, a few years now.
(10:07):
you know, some classmates of of him,they, they call him weirdo
because, he's an a student.
He loves to study.
But he’s not so good in socializing.
Right. So his social skills.
(10:27):
I'll, like you old, I would say.
And,but the interesting thing is
that he doesn't suffer from bullying,despite the fact that,
he doesn't like to socialize.
his classmates are not mean to him.
(10:52):
Well, what about where isn't weirdokind of mean?
So sorry.
Sorry.
Isn't that I'm saying weirdo to him.
Kind of mean. I mean. Yes, it is.
but they don't,I mean, they don't bullying further on, I.
(11:12):
Yeah.
So they, they nickname himweird, right?
But they leave him alone.
And,and you can tell then another word for
that is genius or brilliant.
Okay.
I think, you know, the first thingwe did with him, I don't know,
(11:37):
we did with Benwhen I say with the education,
our consultant and myself,we have been that we had them,
we have him toto being to creative vision for himself.
I mean, I say, you know, very smart.
(11:57):
Yeah. I'm proud.
You're all incredibly intelligent.
what would you like to do?
Yeah.
You're all good. And that.
You know what he replied?
What answer?
I'd like to be, professorin history,
and and I'd like to teach othersabout the history of
(12:20):
of our people, of the,of these real people.
So. So the interesting thing is thathe, he now he has a sense of purpose.
Yes. It's, I'd like to developto to develop myself
as to become a professorin order to teach
(12:43):
and to teach others about what's going onand how, you know,
about the the story of, of all people.
And this is, the source of strengthfor him.
Well, wonderful.
(13:06):
Because we know,we know capturing that one of the,
one of the keys of shine hope,is to find, sense of purpose,
to activate your purpose.
Absolutely. Yeah.
And your strengths.
yes. And and for him, it's,it's it's so meaningful.
(13:30):
So it gives him a lot of strength andand and hope that he can't because
he's struggling.
Yeah. Right.
So he, he he takes his medicines.
well, alongand cause he visits his psychiatrist
once a month and, he,he meets his psychotherapist,
(13:53):
once a week is he gets his sessionson a weekly basis, and, still, this is,
it's so important for him,and we encourage him to to know what he's.
He wants to fulfill,wants to become when God's older.
Yeah. That's amazing.
(14:17):
So, you know what?
What we did with him is,because he gets his therapy
outside of school,we didn't want to, intervene.
there was his therapy outside of school.
We our mental ventionwas to to talk with his classmates
(14:37):
when he's.
When he's gone.
I mean, when one day that he was absentand to, To help them,
be to encourage themto be more compassionate.
Yeah.
I mean, it's his classmates shouldreally be part of his nourishing network.
(14:58):
And it's unfortunate that they're not.
And they're working against him yetcompassion is a skill.
And we know all of the benefitsof being compassionate for, you know,
the person receiving the compassionand the compassionate giver, if you will.
And so it's really it's wonderful.
I mean, we must teachkids skills around compassion.
(15:21):
You know, it's not necessarilysomething we automatically have
or maybe we learn how not to for modelingfrom other people and from adults.
And yeah,that's a really important skill to have.
So that's wonderfulthat you're bringing that to the students
and teaching them about compassionand the importance of compassion,
(15:41):
and then them also experiencinghow it feels,
you know, it releases dopamine in our bodywhen we're compassionate.
You know, anger and and teasing releasesstress hormones.
And so let's learn healthier ways of,getting our positive
happy hormones that click.
(16:01):
And you know what?
That's the one thing we noticedis that something changes.
They have a misconception.
They they think that if if I'm strong,if I'm a strong teenager,
I'm strong person.
So I'm not compassionate.
No it's not I need to be tough.
I need to well known and I can teaseothers.
(16:26):
But,we, we we had a discussion with them
that he can be a tough person.
Yes, yes.
And strong and have, Resilience.
And at the same time,we can be compassionate. Yes.
It's, It's not a weakness.
Yes, exactly.
(16:46):
There's nothing wrong. Right? Right.
And you're actually healthier or healthieras a human.
It's that.
wonderful.
but, Yes. So, you know, and.
Well, what can you deal with?
We spend more of, isI am inspired actions.
(17:09):
Okay.
From from shine hope so I, I,I had a conversation with him to cook
one day, step by step,you know, just to to be focused on on your
today.
On today? Yes.
(17:29):
break it down.
I mean, you have a vision for yourself.
And that's grateful forto become a professional in the future.
And, but, so let's make a plan,let's break it down and focus on today
in order not to get lost,you know, and not to to to suffer
and to ruminate and,because because he's suffering,
(17:53):
you know, he's suffering.
He's is coping with depression.
And so. Yeah.
And, one, one thing we,we did together is to practice mindfulness
and express gratitude.
so we express his gratitudeto his parents.
(18:16):
Well, very supportive.
and,they make a huge effort to help him out.
And,he also expressed his gratitude
for the stuff at schoolfor teachers
through, well, Cruz sounds about who.
And and we these days, we are practicingmindfulness meditation and deep breathing.
(18:43):
No, Brett barely breathing.
and,and I encourage him to practice at home
as well,you know, in the afternoons, the evenings
after school, after the other.
Those.
How is he getting his happy hormones?
Does he exercise at all?
(19:04):
Enough.
Well, this is something wewe we, Because he is obese.
Okay.
it's very hard for him to exercisewhere he knows how important it is
to exercise on a regular basisin order to feel better.
Yeah.
No. Yeah.
(19:26):
It's Roberts.
This is, this is really struggle for you.
So he tries to just to work,you know, for a few minutes
in the afternoons.
Yeah. This is a good start for him.
Yeah, absolutely.
And like you said,I mean, you have to break it down
(19:47):
because if you look at the end goaland it's too big,
you get overwhelmed and you do nothing.
So it's like, let's break it downinto little incremental goals.
Let's do a block a day and try to do that,you know, every day.
And then, okay, let's add another blockthe next week.
You know,so you're incremental adding to the goals.
(20:10):
And then it doesn't feel so overwhelming.
It's the that's the thing with depression.
It's your,you know, the dopamine the serotonin.
They're so low.
And so figuring out the happiness habits,how can we get more of them in our body,
our laughter?
We know exercise is so helpful.
(20:30):
What are nutrition?
What are we eating?
How is that making us feel?
And then again,working on those stress skills.
So the stress responseI mean eating is often a stress response.
We do that to soothe our, our stress,you know, when we're in our stress zone.
And so how can we start interveningwhen we go to food or ahead of
(20:51):
like going to foodwith a, an activity or a habit
that helps kind of break that cycle.
So, you know, and so it sounds likeyou're doing a lot about it.
So great.
And you know, and again, the goalis, to fix it all at once.
It's to take anchor mental steps towardswhat we want done.
(21:16):
Exactly.
And, you know, another goal we gave himis to find an online community
of teenagers like,like him who that love to study
and or that they love history.
(21:37):
Right. But.
And, one good thing that, he's justmentioned, you know,
last meeting was that,one of the teenagers
he was checking with onlineis also coping with depression.
And, and they gave one another tips,you know.
(21:58):
Yeah. how to cope better.
Man. It's it's amazing.
I mean he now now ishe has one more friend online friend.
and maybe, you know,their relationship will develop
and they can become reference even, Yes.
In real life.
(22:18):
Yeah. Laura. Yeah, yeah.
I was want to commendBen for taking responsibility
and getting help, getting support,seeking support or,
you know, owningwhere he's at and being brave enough
to see a psychiatrist, to see a therapist,to be working on himself.
(22:40):
You know, to me,how courageous is that of him?
and, and for him to be willing to sharesome of those insights of his journey
to help support others,that, too, is super courageous.
you know, it'sclear to me Ben feels so deeply.
And that is a superpower,you know, when he can learn
(23:00):
how to feel deeply but not,harm himself by by, you know,
you know, if it's over eating or whateverit is that's,
inhibiting him in any way,and he can learn to take those feelings
and, and use them more for actionand for change in society.
(23:23):
I just, I feel thatthose with depression are really those
that just feel so deeply in it.
And it's hard to feel those feelings,whatever they are in relation
to, you know, so,you know, how how powerful and courageous
that is.
Commend them for all that.
(23:44):
Exactly.
This is brave is really brave because,you know, arriving to school,
going to school dayin, day out and, coping
with all those was allthis thing is so hard.
It is so busy with doing it.
(24:06):
Yeah. And, Amazing.
Amazing medicines.
Well, we really hopethings will get better for him.
Yes, absolutely.
always changing that.
And everything's always changing.
So, you know, there's keep on keeping on.
(24:31):
Hello?
make another story.
Yes, absolutely. Please do.
All right, all right. So.
Oh, yes.
I'd like to, to tell you about Ari.
(24:52):
Ari is.
He's 16 years old.
he is, an ultra orthodox teenager,you know, from Harvard
about the youth.
it's a branch of ultra orthodox,Judaism all over the world.
(25:13):
We also need to grow.
And Harry copes with bipolar disorder.
Not a minor depression.
And so for him, you know,the most important skill is to pray.
(25:34):
you know.
It's a good one.
It's a good one. I know.
Because it is is infused deeply.
The connection between himself on God,and on
is expressing his gratitude for God,for full, well, giving him life, right.
(26:02):
And for, also for,giving him challenges in areas like,
it's it's, it's a struggle for him.
of course, like any other teenagerthat it copes with, people, this older.
But he can find also the advantagesand it's amazing.
(26:26):
so, yeah.
And that's a wise of him to be ableto give gratitude for the struggles,
you know, I mean, that's pretty,pretty amazing of him
at such a young age to really understandthere is value in our struggles.
They they teach us so much about ourselvesand what we care about and
(26:49):
and they make us stronger, you know, aswe work to navigate our way through them.
And they it's well and also topray a prayer is an intervention, I think.
Imagineif every time people were triggered,
they prayed instead of reacted, you know,just how kind of much of a different world
we would live.
(27:12):
And if we were able to accomplish that,someone says something to me
instead of reacting aggressivelyor escalating the the argument
or the cover or whatever it is,I just got myself quiet and prayed for,
you know, compassion for the other person,for love for the other person,
for forgiveness, for love, for myself.
(27:37):
instead of doing that, I mean, weyou know, that to me
is such a brilliant intervention as well,and one that I've talked to many clergy
about,as you know, the most important,
I mean, I thinkstress skills for hope are,
you know, the, the first key for a reason.
If we're not learning how to manageour stress response in healthier ways and,
(27:59):
you know, the impulsivity, the reactivity,all of that, and to me, prayers.
And with 90, up to 90% of the worldadhering to some type of religion,
you know, I would thinkall religious leaders would promote
that as a very important strategyas it's physiologic cycle.
(28:21):
You know, we have a physiological thingthat's happening in our body.
We need to understand that,and we need to just learn to intervene
to slow that 92nd response down.
It's incredible, you know, and,and other is
compassionate is really compassionate.
Yeah.
Because he knows, because he's suffering.
(28:46):
And there are times of,of, times of suffering for him.
He is compassionate about for,for others
who are suffering in their lives.
Yeah. Youhis inspiration, this teenager,
because he's as,as you said culturally is so deeply,
connected with Godand he can express his gratitude
(29:10):
also for its challenges.
Oh, so, what what we were talking,you know, and I,
we were talking about happiness habits.
Okay.
So how can we reach out nowto other teenagers
while suffering and, andand help them, you know, and support them
(29:35):
and you know, and,Help them to increase their level of hope.
And thought for him,it was a new thinking about.
So now I can,for a few, a few moments.
Okay.
I could for a few hours, I can get outsideof my life and reach out to others.
(29:58):
And I'm not no longerfocused on my struggles.
All right, so I'm all done.
and he's he's a true believer.
Okay, so these ultra outlooks optimism.
And for him, it's, it's the it'sit's a value in his life
to, to reach, reach out and help.
(30:19):
Help others.
because it's, it's,an important principle in Judaism.
how do you goto, to be focused on on myself?
Well, yeah.
but to connect with others.
Yeah. That's amazing.
I mean, there'sand there's so much research
backing up the benefits of volunteering,supporting others.
(30:42):
I, I really believe that we learn so muchabout hope, too, by teaching others
how to hope and to get ideas from them.
So teaching othershow to write their shine hope stories.
That'swhy I love doing this podcast as well.
I learned so much about how differentpeople are activating
hope in their own lives, you know,which is so, so important.
(31:02):
So how wonderful that he again, at sucha young age, is being proactive
about doing that.
We know that that releases happy hormones.
so it's a great strategyfor how to navigate navigate challenges.
This is on the very hard dayswhen you know
that you're also supporting others andand helping others.
That can be an anchorto really help us get through.
(31:24):
That and you know what?
What, we were discussing, we had a longconversation about feelings and emotions.
I think I because, you know,there are times when it feels,
right that he can do anythinghe wants in the world.
You know. When me, Yeah.
(31:45):
Yeah, yeah,the manic part of that you prefer.
Not actually.
When they come out of, in my lifein the I, we never succeed.
So, we were trying to to learnnot to rely too much.
Yeah. Emotional feelings.
Yes, I know, I know that, right?
(32:08):
Right. Yes.
It's, so important.
Yes, of course it getsso, psychotherapy,
at his community outside of schooland uses his psychiatrist on,
and on a regular basis.
And the thing that you,his emotions and fears.
(32:33):
so,how would I say are so strong?
Yeah. So intense. Sorry.
Hey, you.
Yes, I hear you are. Yeah.
Okay.
now it's.
gets confused.
Yeah. Of course they are. Yeah.
(32:55):
And we we we will,we will, having a discussions about,
what is the role of emotions and things,and I move the, we,
I recommended him to watch the, the movie,inside out.
(33:17):
yeah.
And just, just toto keep you in the back of your mind
that it's, it's not in a good planjust to rely on your emotions.
Feelings.
So move on.
Yeah.
And, you know, they come and goand I always,
always tell you then we have them do thisas part of the programing.
(33:38):
The deeper programing.
What are they telling you.
Like what are your emotions trying.
What's your anger saying?
If your anger had a voice,what would it be telling you?
If your sadness had a voice,what would it tell you?
If your fear had a voice,what would it tell you
and really get to thewhat is it even trying to say?
And is that helpful information?
Is it unhelpful information?
(34:00):
I mean, they're often a signof what we care about,
what we're passionate about.
So if we're really sad about something,it often also tells
us, gives us a clue of what we care about.
And that could be a clue into our purpose.
Same with anger.
Could tell us what we what we care about,and if we dig deeper into it,
it can tell us about what our purpose is.
And and so learning healthy waysto understand our emotions,
(34:24):
especially the kind of negativelycharged emotions
and really just giving them spaceto breathe
instead of suppressing themor running away from them.
I mean, that's when we run to thingslike eating or self-harm
or we don't want to feel the emotions, butactually emotions can be super helpful.
They can be signals of something,or they can just really be a distraction
(34:46):
trying to, you know,fear can be like a rumination or a fear
about the future of somethingthat's not going to happen.
So we work to get back into the presentmoment.
Yet sometimes again,they can be super helpful.
So it's just learning to be curiousabout them, not to fear,
because I feel so intensely as well.
And I used to think, gosh,if I were to dive into my emotions,
(35:10):
they would just engulf me, you know?
But what I learned actually is, no,it was my running from my emotions
that was harming mebecause I was turning to all of these
things to manage them in unhealthy ways,that if I really dove deep into them
and felt them and heard them,they would pass through me.
They wouldn't stay in me forever.
(35:31):
I would express themand they would really move on.
And so it was a super important thingfor me
to learning how to identify and managemy own emotions.
Super important.
Exactly.
And, you know, to accept them.
Yeah, absolutely.
And, as they are. Yeah.
Try to avoidand not to try to run away from the
(35:54):
how the, the unconvery inconvenient emotions.
Yeah, absolutely.
So, yes, honor is,he's doing better now.
That's wonderful.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
That's amazing.
So happy to hear that, Ari.
(36:15):
And yes, using that, using that emotionalcharge, learning how to, you know, feel
as intense emotions and then use themto help teach others about emotions.
And to me about hope has been so importantand how to navigate them.
I use that as fuel to do the workthat I do when I get so,
you know, if I'm so sad about somethingor so angry about something,
(36:37):
especially if it's somethingthat I don't even
have much control about or somethingthat's going on in the world.
You know, I use that fuelto do what I can in the space
that I'm able to have impact,and that is my work on hope.
And so I do a lot to identifyand manage those emotions
and then use that energy for for goodand for change.
(37:01):
All right.
Right.
Let's let'sthis is incredible what you're doing.
And you know for him for Arihe's great read Rabbi okay.
Great.
The, the greatest leader of, ofas an old, Orthodox Jew is, Rabbi,
(37:22):
Miller.
And, I mean, he's learned from his rabbihow to,
how to cope in trying times.
I mean, what what I asked him isto, to to learn how how do you.
This is his rabbi called he.
(37:45):
And when he was, when wehe had difficulties in his life.
Yeah, yeah.
So important role model.
Yeah, totally.
And should get us his rabbi aside.
Nope. Sorry. I would love to read it.
Right. Yeah.
Sorry if you do that.
That's amazing. Keep up the good work.
(38:06):
All right.
Amazing.
and I'd like to share with youthe story of of Charlie.
It's okay.
Charlie. So, Charlie, he's 17.
he's secular teenager.
he copes with ADHD.
(38:27):
And the thing this thehis parents got divorced a few years ago,
and it went ugly.
I mean, they were fighting each other,and he got stuck,
stuck in the middle of a huge fightbetween his parents
and, It appears blame.
And he feels shame because,sometimes he thinks if I wasn't born,
(38:52):
my my parents wouldnot fight the way they did.
and Charlie.
Charlie is struggling.
He's struggling.
You know, he was labeledas, trouble maker at school
because he has no patience tosit down and learn and to,
(39:16):
listen to his teachers.
So. And sometimes it's impulsive.
He has something to say,and he cannot hold on as much.
So he says, what you that the first thingthat, uncertain
and some teachers don't like it.
(39:36):
to say the least. They don't.
Yes. right. Yeah.
this is such a challengewith youth these days.
So many are struggling with ADHD.
And, you know,the phone trains are brain to addiction.
So it's very, very challenging.
and it takes a lot of work.
I mean, I was diagnosed with ADHD,but not until my late 30s, maybe,
(40:02):
and really having to learnhow to navigate it.
You know, the impulsive is a huge thing.
It's so big with kids andand the challenges so many teachers
and parents think it's just acting out.
And it's but it's really a challengewith our executive functioning
and how our brain works.
And until we can learn how to manage ourand rewire our brain
(40:26):
and do the exercises necessary meditation.
This learning the stress response,learning how to, you know,
that pause, that critical pausethat's so important to learn,
especially when we're very impulsive.
It takes time and practice.
And again,it's part of how our brain functions.
So it's not likewe're making this decision to be disrupt,
(40:50):
live or disrespectful or a problem,you know.
And that's and that's such the perception.
And then when people and that perceptionand you don't have
the executive functioningand that control it,
the behavior reinforces that perception.
And then they reflect the parentsor teachers reflect your bad
(41:10):
kid, your lazy, you're smart enough,you're all of these things.
And then you start believing thatand you have all these limiting beliefs.
And that's really,you know, a challenge for mental health.
And so it's just this massive cycleand one
I think we need to bring major compassionto and understanding around,
especially for children,as they're navigating things
(41:34):
that we never had to navigate.
You know, so the phones, the social mediakind of all of that
and how it built their brains differently.
Our attention span as a human specieshas gone down to less than a goldfish.
But the so.
You know, it's I think under eight secondsnow it's just
(41:56):
we don't have the it'sit's it's a different generation.
And so learninghow to be more compassionate about this
and how to understand itfrom a biological standpoint
and not put so much blameand to leave room for grace.
I think, with our use super important.
So like you say, Kathryn, have we haveand an essential role as adults
(42:23):
is, members of staff at school.
know that to help him out,you know, there's not.
So of course, as you said, Leeand many other teenagers with ADHD,
they internalize these beliefs.
So sectionsthat I'm no good if, horrible.
(42:45):
If I, if I wanted to succeed,I would, make, more effort, but I am.
No, butI guess I didn't, make all the effort.
well, and,you know that they, they internalize
these misconceptions,and it's it's it's so unhealthy.
(43:08):
Yeah. Absolutely.
But we did once again,the educational consultant and I, we had,
conversationwe had, we had discussions with,
first of all with this educator, toto is is on him
to, to make it easier easier for himlet him you know, out there
(43:31):
and in the middle of the classof the session of the lesson,
you get out and,and, have a break, short break.
And, because he was labels,the trouble is that he was labeled as,
that is, and, and teachers don't like it,and they, they lost the leaf on him
(43:59):
that you can you work and and.
That rightthere is a super important point too,
because, a teacher or a therapist'shope for their patient
is oftentimes more predictive of outcomesthan the patient or students hope.
And so when you are a teacher,a leader, a mentor, it is so important
(44:24):
to never give up hope on onwhomever it is you're working with.
and if you do give up hopeto find someone else to replace you
in the role you're in, and to never showthat to whomever you're working with.
Because, you know,sometimes the teacher is the only
(44:45):
the only personthis child has in their life
that has any kind of careor concern for them.
I mean, what we find inthe US is up to 50% of the kids
don't have a trusted adult in their life.
For someone that you knowthey can count on or rely on,
and so it's just it's incredibly importantthat we never give up on these youth,
(45:07):
and we understand thatthey are coming from a different
their brain has been developedin different ways.
They grew up in a different generation.
They are not the same as the generationwe were.
And, you know,they have much different challenges
and we don't knowwhat's happening with them at home.
We don't know, you know,there are so many compounding things
(45:27):
that can come into playand so I would just
yeah, again, stress,for the educators for that.
It's that it's very important,to maintain a sense of hope for our youth.
Right, right.
And what we are discussing,you know, Charlie,
he wants to become a soccer player.
(45:50):
Is. And soccer is a big deal in his.
Yeah. Almost. Chocolate sports.
Okay, handsome.
and, he's practicing,and he's he's making an effort
to to become a professional soccer player.
What I suggested him is thathe. Can you
(46:18):
let's let's find a sense of purpose,in being a professional soccer player,
for example,you can inspire other teenagers
who are struggling in their lives.
If in, you know,all those, icons who.
(46:40):
Yeah. Images adore.
Yeah.
Let's all those, stars,this the really the best soccer.
stars.
so, you don't have to be a star.
I mean, it's it's okay.
I, I wish you get.
(47:01):
You become a professional soccer player,and you become stuck.
Yeah,but you don't. You can inspire others.
You on every level.
sure. Yeah.
But that's.
And that too is so important,you know, that we can set these goals.
We can think I can try to bea professional soccer player.
(47:21):
It's the attaching to thatoutcome of that goal.
It's the attaching to I must achieve this.
Or, you know,when we attach too much to our outcomes
that can lead to hopelessness.
And so putting it out there, doing whatwe can to get there, but knowing that
that our happinessand joy comes from the process.
It's not for the attainment of this thing.
(47:43):
It's from the process, how we connectwith other people along the way,
as you say, how we inspire others,how we work every day
on our practice of soccer or habits or,you know, showing up to practice on time,
getting the physical activitykind of all of those things right.
How to grow as human beings. Yeah.
(48:04):
Our work in the way of getting the exact.
Yeah, yeah. So youjust just appreciate the way. Yes.
But yeah.
Absolutely. So.
Well, Charlie,you knows how how tough it is, to be,
(48:27):
a son of of parents of thethey don't get along with each other.
yeah.
You could like to help others.
Who help others?
teenagers who got lost in the way,because, he knows how he's suffering.
(48:52):
Yeah. Of course.
You know, his parents,they don't interact.
They don't talk to one another.
So painful for him, you know,Well, we send Charlie so much love.
And, of course, it's easy to say thatit's not your fault, Charlie.
And you have nothing to do with it. It's.
It's hard as a child to know that deep.
(49:13):
And, you know, we can't.
Unfortunately,we can't control other people.
That's one of the hardest things.
And so and, you know, adults projecta lot of their pain
and unhealed trauma onto their children.
It's just kind of unfortunately,how it goes until they work on their own,
healing, of their own pain and their ownchallenges, you know, and and again,
(49:41):
when, you know, I,I always wanted my parents getting along.
And so that was so hard for me as a youngkid of seeing any kind of discourse.
And I felt so much pain around it.
And yet I you can't control other people,and that's a hard thing to come to
terms with.
You want to be able to fix everythingand control it and make
(50:01):
so like figuring out for Charliewhere his locus of control is in his life,
which it sounds like he's doing, like himlearning that he can help
and supportother people in the emotional journey,
you know, of having having parentsthat are divorcing or fighting,
and working on his stress skillsand his happiness habits and, and his own,
(50:25):
his affirming beliefs,which are so important for, for Charlie
if his teachers are giving him troublebecause of his ADHD.
I mean, when Charlie learnsthat his ADHD is going to be
his biggest asset, like oncehe just learns how to navigate it.
I mean, when I learnhow to manage my focus,
(50:48):
when I learn how to stopbeing so impulsive and how to stop
that stress responseso that I wasn't so reactive,
and learnhow to channel my energy into focus.
I couldget so much more done than other people
could in such a short amount of time.
Because I have this abilityto hyper focus, you know?
But it's it's learning how to do that.
And it takes timeand it takes love for self and compassion
(51:11):
for self in the process.
and, you know, I'm sorrythe other people in his life
for making it so challenging for him.
And yet it sounds like he'staking ownership
for himself of what he wantsand what he can control.
And how he's going to navigate it.
And soccer is a great way to managesome of the, pain of all of it.
(51:33):
It's soccer's a great happiness habits.
You release so many endorphins,so much serotonin from that
really intense physical exercise,which is so great for him.
And he's so luckyto have you helping to guide him.
What?
Yeah, we're we are really making aneffort, you know, this stuff at schools,
(51:56):
to just to support these teenagers,to help them out, to, to to,
to give themthe feels that they are not alone.
Yeah, yeah.
And that that that the salon wallthat we cheerful that.
(52:17):
Yeah. We really need to.
Yeah. Yeah.
Absolutely incredible.
Well, much love to you, Charlie.
I would send you.
Yeah. Thank you.
All of them. Yeah.
I'm really gratefulthere were so courageous to share to
what they're working onand the challenges.
I mean,this is our biggest challenge right now.
Our youth are strugglingin such unprecedented ways.
(52:40):
It's across the board.
The parents are strugglingfiguring out how to navigate.
Children are struggling.
And so really sharing strategiesand how we can how we can
in healthier ways, dealwith what's going on in life
for for so many.
It's so important.
So I'm so grateful to youfor taking time to to do this with us.
(53:03):
Right? Right, guys?
and for me, it's, it's meaningful.
No, because,I've been a teenager myself,
and today I'm a father for a teenager.
And, you know, life is hard, you know?
(53:25):
Right?
Absolutely, absolutely.
We all have our challenges. Yeah.
And being a teenagerthese days, everywhere.
Yeah.
It's it's. Oh, yeah. Oh.
When we were a teenager,there were no, social media.
There were no smartphones.
(53:47):
we can we could disconnect.
No, just to to have time to toto take time off to to rest,
to be catch, you know. Yes.
They're teenagers then it's, it's more,challenging for them. Yes.
(54:07):
That's why I think they are goingto get this movement of hope going.
And they teach us so much, you know,so it's really it's so inspiring.
I mean, I learned so much about hopefrom our youth, some super grateful.
So and I'm so grateful to youand to all of the schools
(54:28):
that are supporting this work that areallowing you to do this work with them.
So I'd love to hear more aboutwho is involved on your ads.
And yeah, and helping us activateHope and learn about hope
and practice the skills around hopeand how to shine hope.
I think it's braveand courageous of our school leaders to,
(54:49):
you know, make it a priority in schoolswhen there are so many competing
and priorities right now.
I believe hope is so keyto all outcomes in schools.
And yeah, not all of them,make time for it.
So I think it's really wonderfulthat you have leadership in
where you're working,where they prioritize this.
(55:10):
Right? Right.
So I'd like to express my gratitudefor a few people,
for few partners, for all of my work.
We work together at schools.
And, so, so, I'd like to,to, to mentioned school principals.
(55:33):
may be,you're on the initiative from the north
have been Marcus and Benjamin, vacuuming.
they are great.
They are great, educational individuals.
All of them love that.
Thank you. Yes.
Thank you so much, parents.
My mom is the principal says.
(55:55):
Oh, yeah, she was.
So I know what a hard jobour principals have.
I mean, so many challengesand so many different ways.
The parents, the teachers,the kids, you know, staff, just all of it.
And so.
Yeah.
On I know, I know.
So yeah.
To them thank you for making for makingtime for hope and for prioritizing hope.
(56:20):
And I would like your principal, ShaneHope stories too.
I think that I'd like to expressmy gratitude to.
So, few more people.
Yes. Of course, of course!So, my dear
colleagues, the educational consultants.
Seema mehta.
Yossi.
(56:42):
Itamar.
Rabbi Shino, a dear friend of mine andand Moshe.
I'd like to to thank you of,a dear friend of mine.
He's a teacher and an educator,and that I learned so much from him
about how to to become,a role model for his,
(57:03):
students, for his, pupils.
And, I'd like tothank you for his supervision.
as you know, I'm a dear friend of mineand a colleague
that gives you the best tips and advice.
if that's someone.
Oh. Yes. Yes.
(57:24):
and, I'd like to to thankfrom the bottom of my heart
to my mentors of.
What do you not share? Male and female.
for all the support and good advice,and last person, I'd like to
thank is you'll catch and,I'll first of all, for your,
(57:47):
generous attitude.
And, you know, I mean, you,you are so kind to spread.
This shine hope,this theory in the on the walk.
The professional walk.
You did, his hand reached my life is,Psychotherapist.
(58:13):
And and as a human being.
And, I learned so much from ShangHope and from, And I use
the method you developed in orderto have teenagers in Israel
to increase their level of hope. So.
Thank you.
Thanks a lot for all, on this.
(58:36):
Thank you.
That means the world to me.
That's so sweet.
And it's an it's, you know,it wouldn't be possible without you
and without all of the work you're doing.
And we learn about hopeand our work through the work
you're doing with our kids,our children of the world.
I think they're all our children.
And so, so grateful to youfor helping to activate this with,
(58:58):
helping us expand our knowledge,do better at the work that we're doing.
our understanding of hopeso that, you know, we can continue
to evolve our, our programsand ensure that our kids know how to hope.
They know that challengesare going to be a part of life
and equip them was skills to navigate themin healthier and healthier ways.
(59:22):
So really means the world to me.
The work you're doingand help wouldn't be possible without you
and without your whole team.
And of course, my team. I mean amazing.
They're amazinggroup of dedicated individuals
that care so much about ensuringI'll know how to hope.
And I'm really grateful.
(59:42):
So yes, yes, it's it's so meaningful.
So really, I appreciate the lotso you're a great partner for them.
Thank you.
As are you. Yeah.
And as all our listeners are as well.
So, you know, hope wouldn't be possiblewithout all of you listening
and helping us spread the word around.
(01:00:04):
Hope and and sharing this work,sharing it with other people.
we all go through challenges and,you know, it's our ability
to navigate those challenges,those moments of hopelessness.
So they don't become persistent,that they don't become disorders.
we get ahead of them,we focus on them upstream.
and we support, and we're more compassionand, and loving humans just in general.
(01:00:29):
It's really it's really very critical.
So thank you all.
But to the listeners for listening inand helping us expand
our work on hope, really grateful.
And Elad,so grateful for this conversation.
It's really meaningfuland it keeps me going
in the very hardand challenging days and challenging time.
And I do look forward to comingand meeting with you all live
(01:00:52):
at some point in the future.
Be really wonderful to thank.
Others who will to to to meet once againand to the station.
Thank you. Catch.
Yes. Thank you.
So we'll be checking off.
Remember everyone, no matter what lifebrings, you have to keep shining.
You have to keep shining.
Hope, take care and have an amazing day.
(01:01:14):
Thank you all for listening into the Hope Matrix podcast.
We want to shine a lightthat hope is teachable.
Hope is measurable and teachableand provide you with actionable insights
for how you can start activatinghope in your life today
and provide a framework so you can starttalking about hope with other people
(01:01:34):
and practice these skills togetherbecause we are better with hope.
Please feel freeto check out theshinehopecompany.com,
where we list all of our resources aroundhow to Hope.
We have a lot of free programsfor how to hope, including the five day
Challenge, our Hope infographicwith a lot of skills
(01:01:54):
that showcase how to hope and articlesof how to incorporate hope in your life.
We have The Hopebeat Weekly,which is a weekly newsletter
that shares strategies for hope.
We have a My Hope Story templates soyou can write your own Hope story today.
Also my Hope Hero so we can sharewhat our heroes are doing to activate
hope in their lives.
(01:02:17):
And this is especially good with youthso they can start looking up
to people that have overcome similaror challenges to them
and seen how these heroes use the ShineHope framework.
We have a Hopeful Minds for Teens programand Hopeful minds Overview
Educator Guides.
We have a new evidencebased college course so you can activate
Hope on the college campus.
(01:02:38):
There are programs in the workplace.
Overview courses 90 minute coursesfor learning the what,
why and how to hope.
What I want you to know about hopeis it's a skill.
You've got to practice these skillsto become hopeful.
It's easyto fall into despair and helplessness
when we deal with challenges in life,and it takes intentional work
and practice to get to hope.
(01:03:01):
And yet it is always possible.
So no matter what life brings.
Keep shining hope.
Thanks so much for listeningand have an awesome day.
And of course, I've got to add this, thatthis program is designed to assist you
in learning about hope should not be usedfor medical advice, counseling,
or other health related services.
iFred, The Shine Hope Company and myself,Kathryn Goetzke
(01:03:25):
do not endorse or provide any medicaladvice, diagnosis or treatment.
I am not a medical doctor.
The information provided hereshould not be used for the diagnosis
or treatment of any medical conditionand cannot be substituted
for the advice of physicians, licenseprofessionals or therapists
who are familiarwith your specific situation.
(01:03:47):
Consulta licensed medical profession or call 911.
If you are in need of immediate assistanceand be sure to know the crisis Hotline.
988. If you are in need of support.
Thanks so much for listening.
Take good care of yourselfand keep shining hope.
This is Kathryn Goetzke,host of The Hope Matrix podcast.
We are here to share science, storiesand strategies for how to hope.
I'm the Chief Hope officer of the ShineHope Company.
And SHINE is the mnemonicfor how we teach hope.
So when we talk about hope,we talk about how we use Stress Skills,
(00:22):
Happiness habits, Inspired Actions,Nourishing Networks
and Eliminating Challengeswhich are thinking patterns that
get in the way of our ability to hope.
Hope is a skill.
You can measure hope, you can teach hopeand you can start
practicing skills to activate higherhope in your life today.
(00:44):
And on this Hope Matrix podcast,we aim to bring in guests,
experts in science, people with stories,and those that have strategies
for activating hope in your life.
Hello, everyone.
This is Kathryn Goetzke,host of the Hope Matrix podcast.
Thrilled to be with you all todayand to talk about
(01:07):
a very important subject.
And that is how we shine hopein times of really, massive crisis.
And I have a guest here with me todaywho's an expert on that
and is working with youth in Israel.
He is teaching them to shinehope in times of war.
(01:30):
Really. And and,you know, if ever there is a time
to practice the skills for hope, it'sduring times of massive crisis.
Yet it can almost seem impossible.
And so we're really, really very gratefulto have a ton more with us today
to talk about his work in Israel,what he is doing with the teenagers,
(01:53):
how he is working with themto write their shine Hope stories,
and to share more of his wisdomand insights.
with us.
So welcome to the show today.
Thank you so much for joining us.
Yes, thank you for having me.
Yes, it's been a while.
You've been on the show before, so,I'm excited to reconnect with you.
(02:16):
It's fun.
I'm not sure.
Maybe six months or something.
Since we last talked, a lot has happened.
And, you know,I would love to get an update.
What is the climate,with you all in your country?
How are things going?
Right, right.
So, well, the climate has changed.
the war is not over yet, but,it seems that, it's it's getting better.
(02:44):
I mean, there's less fighting.
Okay.
So people,in most parts of the country came,
go back to their daily lifeand now concentrate on their daily lives.
however, now, now,when we feel that, there's less fighting,
we see thatmore people are suffering, from, reaction
(03:10):
from anxiety, from their, PTSD.
All right.
Because, many people,they had to survive it.
Well, for,a long period of time, for a few months.
And now when there's less fight, the,we say that people are more suffering.
So. So it's it'sthese are still challenging times.
(03:33):
These are still trying times in this room,and and
and we are doing all this.
Yeah.
I mean, and that's quite normal.
It's not just during the time of crisis.
I mean, when we're in crisis,we almost are adrenaline.
All of those stress hormonesare keeping us active and
(03:54):
and then when it's over, it's like,it's like the that's all gone.
And so it'sdealing with the aftermath of it.
So that's quite normal.
when we go through times of great,great stress and, and everything
that's happening and like you say,the war itself is not over.
And so you're still dealing witha lot of that and, and working with youth.
(04:16):
And I mean, how,you know, how do you approach it
with, unlearning skills for hopewhen they see so much trauma
and chaos around them.
But but so, you know, I think it, itthey have one advantage,
as I know a sense as teenagersthat we don't have as adults.
(04:38):
Okay.
they're more focused on their dailylives.
That's right.
Yeah.
There are less.
I mean, generally speaking,they are less interested
in, what's going on?
in the,in the country, in the public opinion,
(04:59):
so forth.
So, yeah.
Their lives is so intensive.
Yeah.
They,they have to cope with, growing up and,
and with, so many challengeslike any other adolescents,
(05:19):
everywhere cope with,and still many of them, they, they have
friends, that love someoneor, family member who,
who is dead.
okay.
so of course that the it'sit has an impact on most of them,
(05:43):
but the, the thethe getting more and more and more
focused ontheir daily lives like teenagers and over.
That is so important.
And that is one of the biggest challengesof them that you of the shine
framework to hope is, you know, we tryto control things outside of our control.
(06:03):
We get outside of the present moment.
We ruminate, we worry all of these things.
And yet, exactly as you say,if we can just get back
into the present moment,into our daily lives, focus on engaging
with what's in front of us,with what's to do with our schoolwork,
and stop worryingso much about all of these
(06:25):
external thingsthat we have very little control over.
The more we spend our time on those thingsthat we can't control,
the more we stayin a persistent state of hopelessness.
Because, you know, when you break downhopelessness, being both
that emotional despairand the motivational helplessness,
you know, of course you're going to stayin hopelessness, you're going to feel bad
(06:46):
and you're powerlessto do anything about it.
So you are in that persistenthopelessness.
You developclinical anxiety and depression.
So really learning how to get yourselfback into the present moment
again and again and again,especially when there are so many things
external in your environmentthat are happening that are negative.
(07:07):
you know, we are seeing thatwith with the election in our country,
half of the people are pretty upsetwith the outcome of the election
and are spent, you know,they're doing a lot of that ruminating.
They're doing a lot of the worryingabout the future.
And you're going to developa clinical disorder,
a mental health disorder,if you continue to do that.
(07:29):
So I think it's a really important messagefor all of us.
And I always sayI learned so much from teens
and I always have everywhereI've worked with them,
you know, that they are,that they are doing their best
to stay engaged in their day to dayin the school, in, you know what
they're working on in that moment.
I mean, I think that's a huge lessonthat we all can take from those teens.
(07:51):
Yeah, I believe with him.
Okay.
That's when, this is an important lessonthat we can
we can learn from teenagers and,this is an important lesson
I learned from my son.
He's 14.5, so he's a great teacher abouthow does it feel to be a teenager
these days?
Yes. Yes.
Trying times for us. Right.
(08:13):
exactly how, how we say I don'tI mean, to to be engaged
in your in your tasks.
We all we areand to contribute to others.
And so it's, it's a, it's a greatdistraction and you don't get to ruminate
and to, you know, tonot not to develop clinical disorder.
(08:36):
Yeah. Absolutely.
So you have been working with the kidson their shine stories and you're here
today to share some of the teen shineHope stories.
Am I right on that?
Oh, he, Yeah. Exactly.
Yeah. Amazing. Off the shelves.
Yes, please.
We are so excited to hear what teens inIsrael are doing to for their own.
(09:00):
You know, how to create their own shinehope story in.
Our aim is to ensure everyone aroundthe world knows how to write their shine
hope story. We all have challenges.
We all you knowand the challenges of your teens are way
more significantthan than many of us can imagine.
And so being able to learn from them,you know, we're so grateful, so well.
(09:23):
So let me just say that I walkin four high schools, all right?
And, I'd like to share a few storiesor true stories of teenagers
I meet at walk.
Amazing. Psychotherapist.
And it's in these high schools.
(09:43):
And I'd like to begin the first teenager.
His name is Ben.
Ben. Ben is 18 yearsold, is a secular teenager.
His family is, well, secular.
and then copes with depressionfor, a few years now.
(10:07):
you know, some classmates of of him,they, they call him weirdo
because, he's an a student.
He loves to study.
But he’s not so good in socializing.
Right. So his social skills.
(10:27):
I'll, like you old, I would say.
And,but the interesting thing is
that he doesn't suffer from bullying,despite the fact that,
he doesn't like to socialize.
his classmates are not mean to him.
(10:52):
Well, what about where isn't weirdokind of mean?
So sorry.
Sorry.
Isn't that I'm saying weirdo to him.
Kind of mean. I mean. Yes, it is.
but they don't,I mean, they don't bullying further on, I.
(11:12):
Yeah.
So they, they nickname himweird, right?
But they leave him alone.
And,and you can tell then another word for
that is genius or brilliant.
Okay.
I think, you know, the first thingwe did with him, I don't know,
(11:37):
we did with Benwhen I say with the education,
our consultant and myself,we have been that we had them,
we have him toto being to creative vision for himself.
I mean, I say, you know, very smart.
(11:57):
Yeah. I'm proud.
You're all incredibly intelligent.
what would you like to do?
Yeah.
You're all good. And that.
You know what he replied?
What answer?
I'd like to be, professorin history,
and and I'd like to teach othersabout the history of
(12:20):
of our people, of the,of these real people.
So. So the interesting thing is thathe, he now he has a sense of purpose.
Yes. It's, I'd like to developto to develop myself
as to become a professorin order to teach
(12:43):
and to teach others about what's going onand how, you know,
about the the story of, of all people.
And this is, the source of strengthfor him.
Well, wonderful.
(13:06):
Because we know,we know capturing that one of the,
one of the keys of shine hope,is to find, sense of purpose,
to activate your purpose.
Absolutely. Yeah.
And your strengths.
yes. And and for him, it's,it's it's so meaningful.
(13:30):
So it gives him a lot of strength andand and hope that he can't because
he's struggling.
Yeah. Right.
So he, he he takes his medicines.
well, alongand cause he visits his psychiatrist
once a month and, he,he meets his psychotherapist,
(13:53):
once a week is he gets his sessionson a weekly basis, and, still, this is,
it's so important for him,and we encourage him to to know what he's.
He wants to fulfill,wants to become when God's older.
Yeah. That's amazing.
(14:17):
So, you know what?
What we did with him is,because he gets his therapy
outside of school,we didn't want to, intervene.
there was his therapy outside of school.
We our mental ventionwas to to talk with his classmates
(14:37):
when he's.
When he's gone.
I mean, when one day that he was absentand to, To help them,
be to encourage themto be more compassionate.
Yeah.
I mean, it's his classmates shouldreally be part of his nourishing network.
(14:58):
And it's unfortunate that they're not.
And they're working against him yetcompassion is a skill.
And we know all of the benefitsof being compassionate for, you know,
the person receiving the compassionand the compassionate giver, if you will.
And so it's really it's wonderful.
I mean, we must teachkids skills around compassion.
(15:21):
You know, it's not necessarilysomething we automatically have
or maybe we learn how not to for modelingfrom other people and from adults.
And yeah,that's a really important skill to have.
So that's wonderfulthat you're bringing that to the students
and teaching them about compassionand the importance of compassion,
(15:41):
and then them also experiencinghow it feels,
you know, it releases dopamine in our bodywhen we're compassionate.
You know, anger and and teasing releasesstress hormones.
And so let's learn healthier ways of,getting our positive
happy hormones that click.
(16:01):
And you know what?
That's the one thing we noticedis that something changes.
They have a misconception.
They they think that if if I'm strong,if I'm a strong teenager,
I'm strong person.
So I'm not compassionate.
No it's not I need to be tough.
I need to well known and I can teaseothers.
(16:26):
But,we, we we had a discussion with them
that he can be a tough person.
Yes, yes.
And strong and have, Resilience.
And at the same time,we can be compassionate. Yes.
It's, It's not a weakness.
Yes, exactly.
(16:46):
There's nothing wrong. Right? Right.
And you're actually healthier or healthieras a human.
It's that.
wonderful.
but, Yes. So, you know, and.
Well, what can you deal with?
We spend more of, isI am inspired actions.
(17:09):
Okay.
From from shine hope so I, I,I had a conversation with him to cook
one day, step by step,you know, just to to be focused on on your
today.
On today? Yes.
(17:29):
break it down.
I mean, you have a vision for yourself.
And that's grateful forto become a professional in the future.
And, but, so let's make a plan,let's break it down and focus on today
in order not to get lost,you know, and not to to to suffer
and to ruminate and,because because he's suffering,
(17:53):
you know, he's suffering.
He's is coping with depression.
And so. Yeah.
And, one, one thing we,we did together is to practice mindfulness
and express gratitude.
so we express his gratitudeto his parents.
(18:16):
Well, very supportive.
and,they make a huge effort to help him out.
And,he also expressed his gratitude
for the stuff at schoolfor teachers
through, well, Cruz sounds about who.
And and we these days, we are practicingmindfulness meditation and deep breathing.
(18:43):
No, Brett barely breathing.
and,and I encourage him to practice at home
as well,you know, in the afternoons, the evenings
after school, after the other.
Those.
How is he getting his happy hormones?
Does he exercise at all?
(19:04):
Enough.
Well, this is something wewe we, Because he is obese.
Okay.
it's very hard for him to exercisewhere he knows how important it is
to exercise on a regular basisin order to feel better.
Yeah.
No. Yeah.
(19:26):
It's Roberts.
This is, this is really struggle for you.
So he tries to just to work,you know, for a few minutes
in the afternoons.
Yeah. This is a good start for him.
Yeah, absolutely.
And like you said,I mean, you have to break it down
(19:47):
because if you look at the end goaland it's too big,
you get overwhelmed and you do nothing.
So it's like, let's break it downinto little incremental goals.
Let's do a block a day and try to do that,you know, every day.
And then, okay, let's add another blockthe next week.
You know,so you're incremental adding to the goals.
(20:10):
And then it doesn't feel so overwhelming.
It's the that's the thing with depression.
It's your,you know, the dopamine the serotonin.
They're so low.
And so figuring out the happiness habits,how can we get more of them in our body,
our laughter?
We know exercise is so helpful.
(20:30):
What are nutrition?
What are we eating?
How is that making us feel?
And then again,working on those stress skills.
So the stress responseI mean eating is often a stress response.
We do that to soothe our, our stress,you know, when we're in our stress zone.
And so how can we start interveningwhen we go to food or ahead of
(20:51):
like going to foodwith a, an activity or a habit
that helps kind of break that cycle.
So, you know, and so it sounds likeyou're doing a lot about it.
So great.
And you know, and again, the goalis, to fix it all at once.
It's to take anchor mental steps towardswhat we want done.
(21:16):
Exactly.
And, you know, another goal we gave himis to find an online community
of teenagers like,like him who that love to study
and or that they love history.
(21:37):
Right. But.
And, one good thing that, he's justmentioned, you know,
last meeting was that,one of the teenagers
he was checking with onlineis also coping with depression.
And, and they gave one another tips,you know.
(21:58):
Yeah. how to cope better.
Man. It's it's amazing.
I mean he now now ishe has one more friend online friend.
and maybe, you know,their relationship will develop
and they can become reference even, Yes.
In real life.
(22:18):
Yeah. Laura. Yeah, yeah.
I was want to commendBen for taking responsibility
and getting help, getting support,seeking support or,
you know, owningwhere he's at and being brave enough
to see a psychiatrist, to see a therapist,to be working on himself.
(22:40):
You know, to me,how courageous is that of him?
and, and for him to be willing to sharesome of those insights of his journey
to help support others,that, too, is super courageous.
you know, it'sclear to me Ben feels so deeply.
And that is a superpower,you know, when he can learn
(23:00):
how to feel deeply but not,harm himself by by, you know,
you know, if it's over eating or whateverit is that's,
inhibiting him in any way,and he can learn to take those feelings
and, and use them more for actionand for change in society.
(23:23):
I just, I feel thatthose with depression are really those
that just feel so deeply in it.
And it's hard to feel those feelings,whatever they are in relation
to, you know, so,you know, how how powerful and courageous
that is.
Commend them for all that.
(23:44):
Exactly.
This is brave is really brave because,you know, arriving to school,
going to school dayin, day out and, coping
with all those was allthis thing is so hard.
It is so busy with doing it.
(24:06):
Yeah. And, Amazing.
Amazing medicines.
Well, we really hopethings will get better for him.
Yes, absolutely.
always changing that.
And everything's always changing.
So, you know, there's keep on keeping on.
(24:31):
Hello?
make another story.
Yes, absolutely. Please do.
All right, all right. So.
Oh, yes.
I'd like to, to tell you about Ari.
(24:52):
Ari is.
He's 16 years old.
he is, an ultra orthodox teenager,you know, from Harvard
about the youth.
it's a branch of ultra orthodox,Judaism all over the world.
(25:13):
We also need to grow.
And Harry copes with bipolar disorder.
Not a minor depression.
And so for him, you know,the most important skill is to pray.
(25:34):
you know.
It's a good one.
It's a good one. I know.
Because it is is infused deeply.
The connection between himself on God,and on
is expressing his gratitude for God,for full, well, giving him life, right.
(26:02):
And for, also for,giving him challenges in areas like,
it's it's, it's a struggle for him.
of course, like any other teenagerthat it copes with, people, this older.
But he can find also the advantagesand it's amazing.
(26:26):
so, yeah.
And that's a wise of him to be ableto give gratitude for the struggles,
you know, I mean, that's pretty,pretty amazing of him
at such a young age to really understandthere is value in our struggles.
They they teach us so much about ourselvesand what we care about and
(26:49):
and they make us stronger, you know, aswe work to navigate our way through them.
And they it's well and also topray a prayer is an intervention, I think.
Imagineif every time people were triggered,
they prayed instead of reacted, you know,just how kind of much of a different world
we would live.
(27:12):
And if we were able to accomplish that,someone says something to me
instead of reacting aggressivelyor escalating the the argument
or the cover or whatever it is,I just got myself quiet and prayed for,
you know, compassion for the other person,for love for the other person,
for forgiveness, for love, for myself.
(27:37):
instead of doing that, I mean, weyou know, that to me
is such a brilliant intervention as well,and one that I've talked to many clergy
about,as you know, the most important,
I mean, I thinkstress skills for hope are,
you know, the, the first key for a reason.
If we're not learning how to manageour stress response in healthier ways and,
(27:59):
you know, the impulsivity, the reactivity,all of that, and to me, prayers.
And with 90, up to 90% of the worldadhering to some type of religion,
you know, I would thinkall religious leaders would promote
that as a very important strategyas it's physiologic cycle.
(28:21):
You know, we have a physiological thingthat's happening in our body.
We need to understand that,and we need to just learn to intervene
to slow that 92nd response down.
It's incredible, you know, and,and other is
compassionate is really compassionate.
Yeah.
Because he knows, because he's suffering.
(28:46):
And there are times of,of, times of suffering for him.
He is compassionate about for,for others
who are suffering in their lives.
Yeah. Youhis inspiration, this teenager,
because he's as,as you said culturally is so deeply,
connected with Godand he can express his gratitude
(29:10):
also for its challenges.
Oh, so, what what we were talking,you know, and I,
we were talking about happiness habits.
Okay.
So how can we reach out nowto other teenagers
while suffering and, andand help them, you know, and support them
(29:35):
and you know, and,Help them to increase their level of hope.
And thought for him,it was a new thinking about.
So now I can,for a few, a few moments.
Okay.
I could for a few hours, I can get outsideof my life and reach out to others.
(29:58):
And I'm not no longerfocused on my struggles.
All right, so I'm all done.
and he's he's a true believer.
Okay, so these ultra outlooks optimism.
And for him, it's, it's the it'sit's a value in his life
to, to reach, reach out and help.
(30:19):
Help others.
because it's, it's,an important principle in Judaism.
how do you goto, to be focused on on myself?
Well, yeah.
but to connect with others.
Yeah. That's amazing.
I mean, there'sand there's so much research
backing up the benefits of volunteering,supporting others.
(30:42):
I, I really believe that we learn so muchabout hope, too, by teaching others
how to hope and to get ideas from them.
So teaching othershow to write their shine hope stories.
That'swhy I love doing this podcast as well.
I learned so much about how differentpeople are activating
hope in their own lives, you know,which is so, so important.
(31:02):
So how wonderful that he again, at sucha young age, is being proactive
about doing that.
We know that that releases happy hormones.
so it's a great strategyfor how to navigate navigate challenges.
This is on the very hard dayswhen you know
that you're also supporting others andand helping others.
That can be an anchorto really help us get through.
(31:24):
That and you know what?
What, we were discussing, we had a longconversation about feelings and emotions.
I think I because, you know,there are times when it feels,
right that he can do anythinghe wants in the world.
You know. When me, Yeah.
(31:45):
Yeah, yeah,the manic part of that you prefer.
Not actually.
When they come out of, in my lifein the I, we never succeed.
So, we were trying to to learnnot to rely too much.
Yeah. Emotional feelings.
Yes, I know, I know that, right?
(32:08):
Right. Yes.
It's, so important.
Yes, of course it getsso, psychotherapy,
at his community outside of schooland uses his psychiatrist on,
and on a regular basis.
And the thing that you,his emotions and fears.
(32:33):
so,how would I say are so strong?
Yeah. So intense. Sorry.
Hey, you.
Yes, I hear you are. Yeah.
Okay.
now it's.
gets confused.
Yeah. Of course they are. Yeah.
(32:55):
And we we we will,we will, having a discussions about,
what is the role of emotions and things,and I move the, we,
I recommended him to watch the, the movie,inside out.
(33:17):
yeah.
And just, just toto keep you in the back of your mind
that it's, it's not in a good planjust to rely on your emotions.
Feelings.
So move on.
Yeah.
And, you know, they come and goand I always,
always tell you then we have them do thisas part of the programing.
(33:38):
The deeper programing.
What are they telling you.
Like what are your emotions trying.
What's your anger saying?
If your anger had a voice,what would it be telling you?
If your sadness had a voice,what would it tell you?
If your fear had a voice,what would it tell you
and really get to thewhat is it even trying to say?
And is that helpful information?
Is it unhelpful information?
(34:00):
I mean, they're often a signof what we care about,
what we're passionate about.
So if we're really sad about something,it often also tells
us, gives us a clue of what we care about.
And that could be a clue into our purpose.
Same with anger.
Could tell us what we what we care about,and if we dig deeper into it,
it can tell us about what our purpose is.
And and so learning healthy waysto understand our emotions,
(34:24):
especially the kind of negativelycharged emotions
and really just giving them spaceto breathe
instead of suppressing themor running away from them.
I mean, that's when we run to thingslike eating or self-harm
or we don't want to feel the emotions, butactually emotions can be super helpful.
They can be signals of something,or they can just really be a distraction
(34:46):
trying to, you know,fear can be like a rumination or a fear
about the future of somethingthat's not going to happen.
So we work to get back into the presentmoment.
Yet sometimes again,they can be super helpful.
So it's just learning to be curiousabout them, not to fear,
because I feel so intensely as well.
And I used to think, gosh,if I were to dive into my emotions,
(35:10):
they would just engulf me, you know?
But what I learned actually is, no,it was my running from my emotions
that was harming mebecause I was turning to all of these
things to manage them in unhealthy ways,that if I really dove deep into them
and felt them and heard them,they would pass through me.
They wouldn't stay in me forever.
(35:31):
I would express themand they would really move on.
And so it was a super important thingfor me
to learning how to identify and managemy own emotions.
Super important.
Exactly.
And, you know, to accept them.
Yeah, absolutely.
And, as they are. Yeah.
Try to avoidand not to try to run away from the
(35:54):
how the, the unconvery inconvenient emotions.
Yeah, absolutely.
So, yes, honor is,he's doing better now.
That's wonderful.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
That's amazing.
So happy to hear that, Ari.
(36:15):
And yes, using that, using that emotionalcharge, learning how to, you know, feel
as intense emotions and then use themto help teach others about emotions.
And to me about hope has been so importantand how to navigate them.
I use that as fuel to do the workthat I do when I get so,
you know, if I'm so sad about somethingor so angry about something,
(36:37):
especially if it's somethingthat I don't even
have much control about or somethingthat's going on in the world.
You know, I use that fuelto do what I can in the space
that I'm able to have impact,and that is my work on hope.
And so I do a lot to identifyand manage those emotions
and then use that energy for for goodand for change.
(37:01):
All right.
Right.
Let's let'sthis is incredible what you're doing.
And you know for him for Arihe's great read Rabbi okay.
Great.
The, the greatest leader of, ofas an old, Orthodox Jew is, Rabbi,
(37:22):
Miller.
And, I mean, he's learned from his rabbihow to,
how to cope in trying times.
I mean, what what I asked him isto, to to learn how how do you.
This is his rabbi called he.
(37:45):
And when he was, when wehe had difficulties in his life.
Yeah, yeah.
So important role model.
Yeah, totally.
And should get us his rabbi aside.
Nope. Sorry. I would love to read it.
Right. Yeah.
Sorry if you do that.
That's amazing. Keep up the good work.
(38:06):
All right.
Amazing.
and I'd like to share with youthe story of of Charlie.
It's okay.
Charlie. So, Charlie, he's 17.
he's secular teenager.
he copes with ADHD.
(38:27):
And the thing this thehis parents got divorced a few years ago,
and it went ugly.
I mean, they were fighting each other,and he got stuck,
stuck in the middle of a huge fightbetween his parents
and, It appears blame.
And he feels shame because,sometimes he thinks if I wasn't born,
(38:52):
my my parents wouldnot fight the way they did.
and Charlie.
Charlie is struggling.
He's struggling.
You know, he was labeledas, trouble maker at school
because he has no patience tosit down and learn and to,
(39:16):
listen to his teachers.
So. And sometimes it's impulsive.
He has something to say,and he cannot hold on as much.
So he says, what you that the first thingthat, uncertain
and some teachers don't like it.
(39:36):
to say the least. They don't.
Yes. right. Yeah.
this is such a challengewith youth these days.
So many are struggling with ADHD.
And, you know,the phone trains are brain to addiction.
So it's very, very challenging.
and it takes a lot of work.
I mean, I was diagnosed with ADHD,but not until my late 30s, maybe,
(40:02):
and really having to learnhow to navigate it.
You know, the impulsive is a huge thing.
It's so big with kids andand the challenges so many teachers
and parents think it's just acting out.
And it's but it's really a challengewith our executive functioning
and how our brain works.
And until we can learn how to manage ourand rewire our brain
(40:26):
and do the exercises necessary meditation.
This learning the stress response,learning how to, you know,
that pause, that critical pausethat's so important to learn,
especially when we're very impulsive.
It takes time and practice.
And again,it's part of how our brain functions.
So it's not likewe're making this decision to be disrupt,
(40:50):
live or disrespectful or a problem,you know.
And that's and that's such the perception.
And then when people and that perceptionand you don't have
the executive functioningand that control it,
the behavior reinforces that perception.
And then they reflect the parentsor teachers reflect your bad
(41:10):
kid, your lazy, you're smart enough,you're all of these things.
And then you start believing thatand you have all these limiting beliefs.
And that's really,you know, a challenge for mental health.
And so it's just this massive cycleand one
I think we need to bring major compassionto and understanding around,
especially for children,as they're navigating things
(41:34):
that we never had to navigate.
You know, so the phones, the social mediakind of all of that
and how it built their brains differently.
Our attention span as a human specieshas gone down to less than a goldfish.
But the so.
You know, it's I think under eight secondsnow it's just
(41:56):
we don't have the it'sit's it's a different generation.
And so learninghow to be more compassionate about this
and how to understand itfrom a biological standpoint
and not put so much blameand to leave room for grace.
I think, with our use super important.
So like you say, Kathryn, have we haveand an essential role as adults
(42:23):
is, members of staff at school.
know that to help him out,you know, there's not.
So of course, as you said, Leeand many other teenagers with ADHD,
they internalize these beliefs.
So sectionsthat I'm no good if, horrible.
(42:45):
If I, if I wanted to succeed,I would, make, more effort, but I am.
No, butI guess I didn't, make all the effort.
well, and,you know that they, they internalize
these misconceptions,and it's it's it's so unhealthy.
(43:08):
Yeah. Absolutely.
But we did once again,the educational consultant and I, we had,
conversationwe had, we had discussions with,
first of all with this educator, toto is is on him
to, to make it easier easier for himlet him you know, out there
(43:31):
and in the middle of the classof the session of the lesson,
you get out and,and, have a break, short break.
And, because he was labels,the trouble is that he was labeled as,
that is, and, and teachers don't like it,and they, they lost the leaf on him
(43:59):
that you can you work and and.
That rightthere is a super important point too,
because, a teacher or a therapist'shope for their patient
is oftentimes more predictive of outcomesthan the patient or students hope.
And so when you are a teacher,a leader, a mentor, it is so important
(44:24):
to never give up hope on onwhomever it is you're working with.
and if you do give up hopeto find someone else to replace you
in the role you're in, and to never showthat to whomever you're working with.
Because, you know,sometimes the teacher is the only
(44:45):
the only personthis child has in their life
that has any kind of careor concern for them.
I mean, what we find inthe US is up to 50% of the kids
don't have a trusted adult in their life.
For someone that you knowthey can count on or rely on,
and so it's just it's incredibly importantthat we never give up on these youth,
(45:07):
and we understand thatthey are coming from a different
their brain has been developedin different ways.
They grew up in a different generation.
They are not the same as the generationwe were.
And, you know,they have much different challenges
and we don't knowwhat's happening with them at home.
We don't know, you know,there are so many compounding things
(45:27):
that can come into playand so I would just
yeah, again, stress,for the educators for that.
It's that it's very important,to maintain a sense of hope for our youth.
Right, right.
And what we are discussing,you know, Charlie,
he wants to become a soccer player.
(45:50):
Is. And soccer is a big deal in his.
Yeah. Almost. Chocolate sports.
Okay, handsome.
and, he's practicing,and he's he's making an effort
to to become a professional soccer player.
What I suggested him is thathe. Can you
(46:18):
let's let's find a sense of purpose,in being a professional soccer player,
for example,you can inspire other teenagers
who are struggling in their lives.
If in, you know,all those, icons who.
(46:40):
Yeah. Images adore.
Yeah.
Let's all those, stars,this the really the best soccer.
stars.
so, you don't have to be a star.
I mean, it's it's okay.
I, I wish you get.
(47:01):
You become a professional soccer player,and you become stuck.
Yeah,but you don't. You can inspire others.
You on every level.
sure. Yeah.
But that's.
And that too is so important,you know, that we can set these goals.
We can think I can try to bea professional soccer player.
(47:21):
It's the attaching to thatoutcome of that goal.
It's the attaching to I must achieve this.
Or, you know,when we attach too much to our outcomes
that can lead to hopelessness.
And so putting it out there, doing whatwe can to get there, but knowing that
that our happinessand joy comes from the process.
It's not for the attainment of this thing.
(47:43):
It's from the process, how we connectwith other people along the way,
as you say, how we inspire others,how we work every day
on our practice of soccer or habits or,you know, showing up to practice on time,
getting the physical activitykind of all of those things right.
How to grow as human beings. Yeah.
(48:04):
Our work in the way of getting the exact.
Yeah, yeah. So youjust just appreciate the way. Yes.
But yeah.
Absolutely. So.
Well, Charlie,you knows how how tough it is, to be,
(48:27):
a son of of parents of thethey don't get along with each other.
yeah.
You could like to help others.
Who help others?
teenagers who got lost in the way,because, he knows how he's suffering.
(48:52):
Yeah. Of course.
You know, his parents,they don't interact.
They don't talk to one another.
So painful for him, you know,Well, we send Charlie so much love.
And, of course, it's easy to say thatit's not your fault, Charlie.
And you have nothing to do with it. It's.
It's hard as a child to know that deep.
(49:13):
And, you know, we can't.
Unfortunately,we can't control other people.
That's one of the hardest things.
And so and, you know, adults projecta lot of their pain
and unhealed trauma onto their children.
It's just kind of unfortunately,how it goes until they work on their own,
healing, of their own pain and their ownchallenges, you know, and and again,
(49:41):
when, you know, I,I always wanted my parents getting along.
And so that was so hard for me as a youngkid of seeing any kind of discourse.
And I felt so much pain around it.
And yet I you can't control other people,and that's a hard thing to come to
terms with.
You want to be able to fix everythingand control it and make
(50:01):
so like figuring out for Charliewhere his locus of control is in his life,
which it sounds like he's doing, like himlearning that he can help
and supportother people in the emotional journey,
you know, of having having parentsthat are divorcing or fighting,
and working on his stress skillsand his happiness habits and, and his own,
(50:25):
his affirming beliefs,which are so important for, for Charlie
if his teachers are giving him troublebecause of his ADHD.
I mean, when Charlie learnsthat his ADHD is going to be
his biggest asset, like oncehe just learns how to navigate it.
I mean, when I learnhow to manage my focus,
(50:48):
when I learn how to stopbeing so impulsive and how to stop
that stress responseso that I wasn't so reactive,
and learnhow to channel my energy into focus.
I couldget so much more done than other people
could in such a short amount of time.
Because I have this abilityto hyper focus, you know?
But it's it's learning how to do that.
And it takes timeand it takes love for self and compassion
(51:11):
for self in the process.
and, you know, I'm sorrythe other people in his life
for making it so challenging for him.
And yet it sounds like he'staking ownership
for himself of what he wantsand what he can control.
And how he's going to navigate it.
And soccer is a great way to managesome of the, pain of all of it.
(51:33):
It's soccer's a great happiness habits.
You release so many endorphins,so much serotonin from that
really intense physical exercise,which is so great for him.
And he's so luckyto have you helping to guide him.
What?
Yeah, we're we are really making aneffort, you know, this stuff at schools,
(51:56):
to just to support these teenagers,to help them out, to, to to,
to give themthe feels that they are not alone.
Yeah, yeah.
And that that that the salon wallthat we cheerful that.
(52:17):
Yeah. We really need to.
Yeah. Yeah.
Absolutely incredible.
Well, much love to you, Charlie.
I would send you.
Yeah. Thank you.
All of them. Yeah.
I'm really gratefulthere were so courageous to share to
what they're working onand the challenges.
I mean,this is our biggest challenge right now.
Our youth are strugglingin such unprecedented ways.
(52:40):
It's across the board.
The parents are strugglingfiguring out how to navigate.
Children are struggling.
And so really sharing strategiesand how we can how we can
in healthier ways, dealwith what's going on in life
for for so many.
It's so important.
So I'm so grateful to youfor taking time to to do this with us.
(53:03):
Right? Right, guys?
and for me, it's, it's meaningful.
No, because,I've been a teenager myself,
and today I'm a father for a teenager.
And, you know, life is hard, you know?
(53:25):
Right?
Absolutely, absolutely.
We all have our challenges. Yeah.
And being a teenagerthese days, everywhere.
Yeah.
It's it's. Oh, yeah. Oh.
When we were a teenager,there were no, social media.
There were no smartphones.
(53:47):
we can we could disconnect.
No, just to to have time to toto take time off to to rest,
to be catch, you know. Yes.
They're teenagers then it's, it's more,challenging for them. Yes.
(54:07):
That's why I think they are goingto get this movement of hope going.
And they teach us so much, you know,so it's really it's so inspiring.
I mean, I learned so much about hopefrom our youth, some super grateful.
So and I'm so grateful to youand to all of the schools
(54:28):
that are supporting this work that areallowing you to do this work with them.
So I'd love to hear more aboutwho is involved on your ads.
And yeah, and helping us activateHope and learn about hope
and practice the skills around hopeand how to shine hope.
I think it's braveand courageous of our school leaders to,
(54:49):
you know, make it a priority in schoolswhen there are so many competing
and priorities right now.
I believe hope is so keyto all outcomes in schools.
And yeah, not all of them,make time for it.
So I think it's really wonderfulthat you have leadership in
where you're working,where they prioritize this.
(55:10):
Right? Right.
So I'd like to express my gratitudefor a few people,
for few partners, for all of my work.
We work together at schools.
And, so, so, I'd like to,to, to mentioned school principals.
(55:33):
may be,you're on the initiative from the north
have been Marcus and Benjamin, vacuuming.
they are great.
They are great, educational individuals.
All of them love that.
Thank you. Yes.
Thank you so much, parents.
My mom is the principal says.
(55:55):
Oh, yeah, she was.
So I know what a hard jobour principals have.
I mean, so many challengesand so many different ways.
The parents, the teachers,the kids, you know, staff, just all of it.
And so.
Yeah.
On I know, I know.
So yeah.
To them thank you for making for makingtime for hope and for prioritizing hope.
(56:20):
And I would like your principal, ShaneHope stories too.
I think that I'd like to expressmy gratitude to.
So, few more people.
Yes. Of course, of course!So, my dear
colleagues, the educational consultants.
Seema mehta.
Yossi.
(56:42):
Itamar.
Rabbi Shino, a dear friend of mine andand Moshe.
I'd like to to thank you of,a dear friend of mine.
He's a teacher and an educator,and that I learned so much from him
about how to to become,a role model for his,
(57:03):
students, for his, pupils.
And, I'd like tothank you for his supervision.
as you know, I'm a dear friend of mineand a colleague
that gives you the best tips and advice.
if that's someone.
Oh. Yes. Yes.
(57:24):
and, I'd like to to thankfrom the bottom of my heart
to my mentors of.
What do you not share? Male and female.
for all the support and good advice,and last person, I'd like to
thank is you'll catch and,I'll first of all, for your,
(57:47):
generous attitude.
And, you know, I mean, you,you are so kind to spread.
This shine hope,this theory in the on the walk.
The professional walk.
You did, his hand reached my life is,Psychotherapist.
(58:13):
And and as a human being.
And, I learned so much from ShangHope and from, And I use
the method you developed in orderto have teenagers in Israel
to increase their level of hope. So.
Thank you.
Thanks a lot for all, on this.
(58:36):
Thank you.
That means the world to me.
That's so sweet.
And it's an it's, you know,it wouldn't be possible without you
and without all of the work you're doing.
And we learn about hopeand our work through the work
you're doing with our kids,our children of the world.
I think they're all our children.
And so, so grateful to youfor helping to activate this with,
(58:58):
helping us expand our knowledge,do better at the work that we're doing.
our understanding of hopeso that, you know, we can continue
to evolve our, our programsand ensure that our kids know how to hope.
They know that challengesare going to be a part of life
and equip them was skills to navigate themin healthier and healthier ways.
(59:22):
So really means the world to me.
The work you're doingand help wouldn't be possible without you
and without your whole team.
And of course, my team. I mean amazing.
They're amazinggroup of dedicated individuals
that care so much about ensuringI'll know how to hope.
And I'm really grateful.
(59:42):
So yes, yes, it's it's so meaningful.
So really, I appreciate the lotso you're a great partner for them.
Thank you.
As are you. Yeah.
And as all our listeners are as well.
So, you know, hope wouldn't be possiblewithout all of you listening
and helping us spread the word around.
(01:00:04):
Hope and and sharing this work,sharing it with other people.
we all go through challenges and,you know, it's our ability
to navigate those challenges,those moments of hopelessness.
So they don't become persistent,that they don't become disorders.
we get ahead of them,we focus on them upstream.
and we support, and we're more compassionand, and loving humans just in general.
(01:00:29):
It's really it's really very critical.
So thank you all.
But to the listeners for listening inand helping us expand
our work on hope, really grateful.
And Elad,so grateful for this conversation.
It's really meaningfuland it keeps me going
in the very hardand challenging days and challenging time.
And I do look forward to comingand meeting with you all live
(01:00:52):
at some point in the future.
Be really wonderful to thank.
Others who will to to to meet once againand to the station.
Thank you. Catch.
Yes. Thank you.
So we'll be checking off.
Remember everyone, no matter what lifebrings, you have to keep shining.
You have to keep shining.
Hope, take care and have an amazing day.
(01:01:14):
Thank you all for listening into the Hope Matrix podcast.
We want to shine a lightthat hope is teachable.
Hope is measurable and teachableand provide you with actionable insights
for how you can start activatinghope in your life today
and provide a framework so you can starttalking about hope with other people
(01:01:34):
and practice these skills togetherbecause we are better with hope.
Please feel freeto check out theshinehopecompany.com,
where we list all of our resources aroundhow to Hope.
We have a lot of free programsfor how to hope, including the five day
Challenge, our Hope infographicwith a lot of skills
(01:01:54):
that showcase how to hope and articlesof how to incorporate hope in your life.
We have The Hopebeat Weekly,which is a weekly newsletter
that shares strategies for hope.
We have a My Hope Story templates soyou can write your own Hope story today.
Also my Hope Hero so we can sharewhat our heroes are doing to activate
hope in their lives.
(01:02:17):
And this is especially good with youthso they can start looking up
to people that have overcome similaror challenges to them
and seen how these heroes use the ShineHope framework.
We have a Hopeful Minds for Teens programand Hopeful minds Overview
Educator Guides.
We have a new evidencebased college course so you can activate
Hope on the college campus.
(01:02:38):
There are programs in the workplace.
Overview courses 90 minute coursesfor learning the what,
why and how to hope.
What I want you to know about hopeis it's a skill.
You've got to practice these skillsto become hopeful.
It's easyto fall into despair and helplessness
when we deal with challenges in life,and it takes intentional work
and practice to get to hope.
(01:03:01):
And yet it is always possible.
So no matter what life brings.
Keep shining hope.
Thanks so much for listeningand have an awesome day.
And of course, I've got to add this, thatthis program is designed to assist you
in learning about hope should not be usedfor medical advice, counseling,
or other health related services.
iFred, The Shine Hope Company and myself,Kathryn Goetzke
(01:03:25):
do not endorse or provide any medicaladvice, diagnosis or treatment.
I am not a medical doctor.
The information provided hereshould not be used for the diagnosis
or treatment of any medical conditionand cannot be substituted
for the advice of physicians, licenseprofessionals or therapists
who are familiarwith your specific situation.
(01:03:47):
Consulta licensed medical profession or call 911.
If you are in need of immediate assistanceand be sure to know the crisis Hotline.
988. If you are in need of support.
Thanks so much for listening.
Take good care of yourselfand keep shining hope.
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