September 4, 2025 • 36 mins
Learning how to stop people-pleasing starts with one honest question: do you say “yes” when your body says “no”?
The speaker explores the fear of being seen and the habit of fawning—agreeing to keep the peace—even when it doesn’t feel right. You’ll learn a simple way to tell the difference between your authentic intuition and old people-pleasing patterns: pause, breathe, and ask clear yes/no questions like, “Do I want this?” “Will it be good for me?” The episode highlights Satya (truthfulness) from yoga philosophy and the practice of Ishvarapranidhana (surrender), reminding us we can offer our truth but cannot control how others receive it. There’s also a science lens: social fear can feel like physical pain, yet every small act of honest expression rewires the brain toward self-trust and resilience. You’ll finish with a short grounding practice—hand on throat and heart—and affirmations like “I am safe to be seen.” If you’re ready to move from external approval to inner anchoring, this conversation will help you begin—kindly, clearly, and now.
Episode Chapters:
00:00:00 Introduction
00:01:42 Being Seen, Heard, Valued
00:02:34 Fear of Judgment vs. Truth
00:04:08 Naming Fawning (People-Pleasing)
00:04:46 Satya: Living in Truth
00:06:15 Intuition vs. Old Patterns
00:10:17 Body-Led Yes/No Questions
00:12:30 Collecting a Clearer Truth
00:14:21 Neuro Lens: Social Pain & Fear
00:15:58 Why Speak Your Truth
00:17:47 External Validation vs. Inner Anchor
00:21:05 Ishvarapranidhana: Surrender
00:21:56 Rewiring for Self-Trust
00:23:23 Conscious Boundaries & Choices
00:24:32 Grounding Questions
00:25:18 Hand-to-Throat/Heart Practice
00:29:11 Willing, Not Fearless
00:30:19 Authenticity over Perfection
00:33:05 Reflective Prompts & Close
📚 Mentions & Resources:
Yogic concepts: Satya (truthfulness), Ishvarapranidhana (surrender)
Michael Henri’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelyoga.pt/
Byron de Marse’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/byronyoga/
Going Pro Yoga’s Instagram: https://www.instagram/com/goingproyoga/
The IN Movement Podcast was formerly the Going Pro Yoga Podcast — and before that, the Yoga Teacher Evolution Podcast and the Rat Race Rebellion Podcast. Same mission, evolved name.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello and welcome back to the podcast.
My name is Michael Henry and thank you for joining today.
Today we're going to be steppinginto a tender and
transformational conversation, the one about being seen, heard,
and valued. So if you ever felt the fear of
speaking up for yourself, maybe sharing boundaries, teaching
(00:22):
publicly, or simply sharing yourtruth or what's important to
you, know that you're not alone.This is a very common thing.
Visibility can feel vulnerable. When we share things about what
we want or what we desire can sometimes feel very scary.
It can awaken old fears of rejection, judgement, or not
(00:45):
enough this. But your voice does matter.
Your presence matters. So today we're going to explore
how to move through the fear of visibility so that you can
teach, speak, and live from yourtrue center.
(01:19):
So before we get into today's core content, I'd love to ask
for your support if you haven't done so already by reviewing
this podcast. We share this podcast for free
for anyone to listen, and we just want to have this be
accessible to as many people as possible.
And one of the best ways that wecan spread this to the world is
by having the podcast reviewed. So if you go down to the main
(01:44):
page of the podcast, find that star review, whether it be on
Spotify or Apple Podcasts, and just give us some love.
We'd really appreciate it and it'll help us to expand this
into other people's phones ultimately.
So let's start to break this down a little bit more.
So we're talking about these twotopics.
(02:04):
We're really just talking about judgement and the authentic
expression of our self. So let's start to define what
these are a little bit more. So judgement, or the fear of
judgement more specifically, is the worry that others will
actually criticize, reject, or misunderstand what is being
(02:25):
shared or ultimately misunderstand you.
It often causes us to become silent or shrink parts of
ourselves to stay safe or to notruffle the feathers or to not be
a bother, to not disrupt, to notchange the flow of things that
(02:46):
have already been set up now. Authentic expression or sharing
your visibility, if you will, allowing yourself to be seen,
heard, understood, is your sharing of your thoughts, your
feelings, the truth, without filtering it too much to please
(03:11):
other people or to please others.
It's the courage to let your real voice be heard, regardless
of what you think it might soundlike.
Even when there's that vulnerability, when fear rises
in these moments, it often whispers things like, who am I
(03:32):
to say this? What if I get it wrong?
What if they don't like what I have to say?
Or what if they don't like me? What if they reject or judge me
for sharing? So think back to a moment when
you maybe hesitated to share something, a truth that an
(03:55):
intuitive feeling that was you knew somewhat deep down you
didn't want to or you did want to do something, but you kind of
ignored it because of the context of what was happening in
front of you. You felt like you didn't want to
disrupt things. You didn't want to mix things
up. It was just easier to what we
call fawn, which is just to oblige to just, you know, do
(04:19):
whatever the other person wants to do.
So what were you afraid of that might actually happen in those
moments? And how did it feel in your
body, if you can kind of reflectwith that?
I personally can relate a lot tothis because there's many times
(04:39):
where I feel like I'm just saying yes, or I'm obliging to
whatever it is that is in front of me because of responsibility
or because I'm trying to make someone's life easier.
Or this is something that I justfeel like I need to do because
it'll make this other person happier or seemingly so.
(05:03):
So in yoga, there's a concept called Satya, which is the
principle of truthfulness. Truthfulness which invites us to
speak and to live in alignment with our authentic cells.
So who are who? Who is you?
Who, who am I? Our authentic cells?
Who, who is that to me? I think about this deep
(05:26):
intuitive sense that knows what might be feeling good or not so
good for yourself. So Satya is not about
perfection, about making the perfect decisions, not being
judged. It's about integrity for
yourself, your own self integrity, listening to yourself
(05:47):
and following your own quote, UNquote truth.
Following out your own authenticexpression, what's real and
important to you. It's about honouring that truth
that is uniquely yours to express, even if it feels like
it might be rejected, even if itfeels like it's scary to share
(06:11):
that truthfulness, that authentic sharing or expression,
that intuition that comes up. Instead of muffling it or hiding
away from it, actually just listen to it.
And then from there, we can makedecisions on how we want to
respond with its knowing. So when I think about this, when
(06:33):
I think about truthfulness, whenI think about authentic
expression, when I think about your intuition, I think about
this balance and this juggle between, is this my authentic
expression, me trying to speak something that's really true and
real for me? Or is it more of a pattern or a
belief system that I learned in my life that I developed or
(06:57):
let's say got from my parents orsomeone that I've been around?
Because it's really easy for us to just absorb other people's
beliefs sometimes whenever we'rejust around them, you know,
someone says something and it's almost like it kind of gets
downloaded into our brain and then all of all of a sudden
becomes truth for us because we're like, oh, I really like
(07:18):
this person and I look up to this person.
So if they believe that, then I must, I should believe that too
to some degree. And this might be when we're
younger a little bit more so kind of a little bit more naive
and absorbent of some of those things.
So being able to tell the difference between your
intuition and whether it's a pattern or belief system that
(07:42):
might not necessarily be supporting your truth is
actually a challenging thing to do.
This is something that I, I don't want to see struggle with,
but it's something that I'm always thinking about and I'm
always asking myself like, is this something that I really,
really, really want to do? Or is this something that I feel
like I'm doing because I'm trying to please someone else or
please some sort of situation orpossibly just trying to be the
(08:07):
peacekeeper of that situation. And this would be best to keep
the peace to avoid the drama. And that's something that I
definitely want to do is I want to avoid drama.
I want to avoid that uncomfortableness and sometimes
just giving in is seems like theeasier choice.
But is it true that that's what I actually want?
(08:29):
Is that feel authentic? Does that feel right?
Or is it just that I'm trying tomake things seemingly easier by
avoiding my truth, not listeningto my intuition, and just kind
of like trying to neutralize thesituation?
Fawning, if you will. Obliging.
(08:51):
So this is a this is a constant juggle.
In fact, I had a conversation with someone about this few days
ago, even though I've been thinking about this for years.
I probably even mentioned it on the podcast before.
It's like, how do you know if it's the truth, the intuition
coming through that self authentic expression?
Or is it some sort of pattern orbelief that you've developed at
some time? Like how do you know?
(09:14):
The person I was speaking to yesterday said that she often
feels that if she can go from a place of giving, is my response
from a place of giving, from a place of love?
Because if it is, then that's probably more likely that
authentic expression. So I had to think about that a
(09:35):
little bit. And I was just like, how does
that actually relate to me? Like is it from a place of
giving or a place of receiving? Am I giving?
Am I doing this to be able to give something?
Or am I doing this to be able toreceive something?
(09:56):
Now that was somewhat helpful for me.
I'm curious to know if it was helpful for you in this moment.
But I start to think a little bit more about it.
I'm like, OK, so this intuition is this part of me, this is like
this deep knowing, this deep truth.
And I want to be able to feel into it.
So often times what I'll do is I'll actually ask myself
questions and then I'll see how my body responds.
(10:20):
Now this is a little bit more ofa human design thing with
generators. So, you know, there's most of
the people are generators out there.
And if you're not a generator, then it might not be as
relatable, but you can still feel into it as well.
So I usually ask myself the question like, do I actually
want to do this? And there's either a yes
feeling, a no feeling, or I'm not sure feeling.
(10:42):
So do I want to do this? Something like that?
Often times I don't get an answer right away.
It's usually like I'm not sure. So then I say OK, that means I
need to keep asking more questions.
So then I say things like, wouldit be good for me to do this?
Or am I doing this because otherpeople want me to do this?
(11:07):
Am I saying yes to this? Because I should be saying yes
to this. So starting to ask these
questions can really start to carve in a little bit more
specifically, like is this actually really important to me
to say yes or no? Is it from a place of actually
giving and sharing for this situation?
Or is it something that's actually that I need to receive?
(11:32):
We can zero in a little bit closer on that intuition versus
that, let's say, fawning by asking us those questions.
So let's kind of just think about it a little bit more.
What part of my truth is asking to be expressed, even if my
voice shakes a little bit? Now, if you ask yourself the
(11:57):
question and you answer to yourself within your own mind or
maybe your own space, it won't feel as scary versus actually
sharing it publicly or, you know, in front of somebody,
especially someone that you, you're, you're fearing their
response or how they might react.
But you'll feel more confident in yourself and the way that you
(12:20):
express it if you actually identify that as a truth 1st.
And you can do that by actually asking yourself those questions.
Is this actually something that I want?
Is this actually something that I should do?
Is this something that would be good for me?
Is this something that I has a responsibility that I need to
(12:43):
follow through on? Now, getting yes or no answers
to some of those questions doesn't mean that the answer is
yes or no. It's collecting A deeper
knowing, a deeper understanding of the situation, of your
intuition, of your authentic expression to get closer to the
answer. Because often times the answer
(13:04):
might be like, no, I don't want to do that, but it would be good
for me to do it, or it's my responsibility to do it, or I
need to do it because XY and Z, or it could be the opposite.
I do want to do it. However, there's another part of
me that I know that it's not good to do that because it's
(13:26):
going to result in whatever something else.
So just know that this is not a,you know, a perfect system.
It's more of just trying to helpcultivate tools, which is
something that I've been workingon for years and I by no means
have perfected it, but I'm just trying to find different ways
that we can navigate this, you know, being in truth of
(13:46):
ourselves, being authentic, feeling empowered to be able to
stand up for ourselves and speakup for ourselves, to create
boundaries. Do not have to worry about being
judged or to being, you know, misunderstood or rejected or
criticized. Because if we feel strongly in
our stance, but it's an authentic stance.
(14:06):
It's not coming from a place of fear or belief that was, you
know, adapted from our parents or friends or someone else, but
a true inner feeling that actually feels like, yes, that's
actually that feels right to me.So it is a juggle.
It's a bit of a process, but at the same time it's also kind of
(14:28):
fun because when you do land on the truth, it feels ever so
empowering. So from a neuroscience
perspective, social fear lights up the same areas of the brain
as physical pain. So that judgement, that
(14:49):
criticism, that rejection, that feeling misunderstood, it's
normal to feel a heightened sense of risk when stepping into
this visibility where you're actually sharing something or
telling somebody or people aboutsomething that feels raw, that
feels real, that feels deep. But that fear doesn't
(15:10):
necessarily mean that you're wrong in sharing it.
It simply means that you're stepping outside of your comfort
zone, doing something that mightbe unfamiliar, something that
you haven't done before, something you might not have
shared before. And sharing it feels scary
because how will it be received?But then recognizing that no
(15:35):
matter what is shared, we can never control how it's being
received by anyone. And there's going to be people
that are going to love to hear what you have to share.
And there's going to be people that are not going to love what
you have to share about your truth, your authentic
expression, etcetera. And what does that mean?
(15:55):
Does that means we shy away fromit because, oh, we want to make
sure everybody's happy and we want to make sure that we don't
ruffle the feathers. But the truth is, is no matter
what you share, whether it's thetruth or you're just trying to
oblige, people are going to likeit or not like it.
We can't control how people respond.
We can't control how people react to these things.
So why not speak the truth? Why not express ourselves
(16:18):
authentically? Respectful way, of course, that
allows us to live a life that feels more in alignment, that
allows us to feel like we're listening to ourselves, right?
We're not being controlled, we're being authentic.
(16:39):
So it is a process, it is a journey, and it is also just
part of life. Even though I talk about this
here like, oh, it sounds like I know what I'm talking about.
Yeah, but I still work at it every single day.
You know, I'm always asking myself even was it yesterday?
No, it was 2 days ago. I was thinking to myself, I was
like, do I really want to do this?
And the answer was no, I do not want to do this.
(17:00):
But then I was just like, shouldI do it?
And the answer was like, I'm notsure.
And then I was like, would it begood for me to do this?
And the answer was yes. So then I asked myself again,
OK, so then should I do this? And then the answer felt again,
a yes. So just a few questions, but
(17:20):
allowed me to get closer to my truth and allowed me to get to
where I needed to go to feel like this was my choice.
It was a conscious choice versusa subconscious, you know,
pattern or belief that I'm just following.
But I actually took the time to be aware, to ask myself the
questions, to sit with it and belike, let me just see how this
(17:41):
feels. We can get closer to the truth
that way. So let's continue this
conversation a little bit more into two other emotional
contrasts, and that is that external validation, which we
kind of talked about it without talking about it, and this
internal anchoring or the stability, if you will.
(18:05):
So external validation talked about before, but it is the
habit of measuring your worth bythe approval or praise of
others. It can feel good temporarily,
but it leaves you and your senseof value dependent on things
that you can't control, like theway that they respond or judge
(18:29):
or criticize or love. Versus this stability, this
internal anchoring is rooting yourself worth in yourself, that
your worthiness is known inside of you.
It's trusting your value, your voice, your experience, your
(18:53):
journey, no matter how others respond around you.
Again, because we can't control that, we can't control how the
others respond. Now we can deliver again, our
authentic expression or truth inways in which is respectful
honoring, you know, the fact that some people might like it
(19:16):
and that's OK, but it doesn't need to be aggressive.
It doesn't need to be. I'm right and this is the way.
And, you know, it's more so justthis is my experience, this is
how I feel about it and this is what feels good to me.
And, you know, there might be a difference of opinion there and
that's OK. You know, accepting that as part
of this process and not judging other people for not or not
(19:38):
judging other people for judgingyou, if that makes sense.
So it's tempting to seek safety through external validation, the
perfect reviews, the full classes, the endless praise.
You know, the applause, the acknowledgement.
(19:58):
But true freedom comes when yoursense of worth isn't tied to the
applause or criticism. Regardless if it's being
appreciated or not appreciated, it shouldn't affect who you are.
It shouldn't affect your truth. Sharing your truth shouldn't be
(20:23):
applauded. Sharing your truth shouldn't be
criticized. They both will be, but either
one doesn't matter. What's most important is that
you share your truth. You share what is real for you.
You share what is intuitively known, so you could use the same
moment that we talked about before you, you brought into
(20:44):
your attention. Otherwise, recall a moment when
you expressed yourself authentically, where you
actually shared something that was true for you, that was real
for you, even if it wasn't meantor met, I should say, with
universal acceptance or approval.
(21:05):
Maybe some people did and othersdidn't.
How did it feel inside to share that beyond the reactions of
others? So in yoga, one of the niyamas
(21:26):
yoga philosophy, Ishvara Pranidhana teaches surrender.
Surrender to higher self, trusting that your role is to
offer your truth, not to controlhow it's received.
Your task is to show up fully, not perfectly, fully.
(21:49):
You, uniquely you from a scientific perspective, building
internal validation for ourself.Meaning I'm validating my own
experience, I don't need external validation.
That internal validation strengthens that prefrontal
(22:13):
cortex or the medial part of your prefrontal cortex, the part
of your brain that's associated with that self referencing
emotional resilience. So every act of courageous
authentic expression literally rewires your brain for greater
self trust. Self trust, meaning trusting
(22:36):
yourself to share things that are true, to be able to express
yourself authentically. It becomes easier and easier the
more you do it. Now this makes me think a little
bit about, OK cool. It is good to share your truth.
It is good to share what feels real and and and authentic.
(22:59):
But I've also been in situationswhere people get a little bit
too, let's say out of balance with sharing their truth.
And it's just everything's aboutsharing their truth and
everything's about sharing theirhow they feel about this and
this and this. And to me, I just want to bring
attention to, let's not get too carried away with always sharing
(23:21):
a truth unconsciously, or I should say subconsciously
because it could get to a point where we're losing sight of.
Is this actually my intuitive sense or am I just following
some sort of pattern or belief, maybe a new pattern or belief
that was created more recently. So it really comes down to
making that conscious awareness of what's being expressed or
(23:45):
shared, creating these boundaries, saying yes, saying
no, deciding to do this, not deciding to do this.
Should I say this or should I not say this?
It doesn't always have to be yes, doesn't always have to be
no. But I think making that
conscious choice is what's really important.
(24:05):
And the best way that we can make that conscious choice is to
stop. Find that stillness, find that
stability and that groundedness.Take a moment, breathe, and then
just ask yourself a few questions.
Do I want to? Does this feel right to me?
(24:30):
Will this be good for me? Will this be good for the
situation? Should I do this?
There's many different questionsto be asked, and these are just
the few that are popping off thetop of my head, but you might
have some other questions that come through for you.
So let's just take a moment to root in some of these lessons
(24:52):
concepts and really just kind ofanchor them in.
So depending on what you're doing, you know, sitting,
standing, laying down, ideally finding that straight spine.
So if you're sitting, just finding a nice tall spine, place
one hand on your throat or closeto your throat and the other
just below it onto your heart. Feel the steady beat of your
(25:17):
heart, the pulse of life that lives within you, and softly
whisper to yourself as you feel your heart beating.
My voice is rooted in truth. When I connect to my heart and I
(25:42):
allow my heart to speak consciously, my truth is
revealed. It takes time to allow that
truth to come through, and I am patient and eager to hear it.
(26:12):
My voice is rooted in my truth. So visibility sharing can feel
quite vulnerable to express something that may have never
been expressed before from you. It might have been expressed
from other people before, and maybe even see other people
(26:33):
doing it. And you, you admire them and
you're just like, wow, so brave of them.
It's so courageous, it's so inspiring.
And that's great to use that as a fuel for your own actions.
But it doesn't negate the fact that it can still be scary.
That fear of judgement, that fear of rejection, it's a real
(26:53):
thing. So acknowledging that is a good
step, but also recognizing to not let that stop you from
sharing what feels real for you,what feels true, what feels
authentic, to be able to navigate whatever situations in
front of you. So when you share your voice,
when you share what feels true and real, especially if you're
(27:16):
around people that are loving, trusting, supportive to you,
which is often family and friends, and hopefully within a
working environment, they have those similar qualities.
You offer others permission to do the same.
So when you express your truth, you strengthen the collective
tapestry of authenticity. When someone else sees how real
(27:42):
and raw and authentic that you are, it inspires others to do
the same, just like you might beinspired by someone else who
embodies that same behavior. So then let's just keep it
simple. Ask yourself this question.
(28:03):
What truths within me are ready to be shared right now in this
moment in my life? Maybe small is a good way to
start. What truths within me are ready
to be shared with someone that Iknow is going to receive them to
(28:23):
kind of build that muscle a loved one?
Where am I seeking external approval in my life and how
might I root into internal trustinstead creating boundaries
(28:46):
instead of trying to get that external approval?
What would change if I believe that my voice was needed exactly
as it is? What if what I share is exactly
(29:06):
what needs to be heard, and withholding that from the world,
from the situation, is only going to cause more suffering?
Possibly for yourself, maybe forothers.
(29:27):
So the truth is, is you don't have to be fearless to be
visible, to be able to share. The fear is there.
It's what we all experience whenwe do anything that's
uncomfortable, when we do anything that's unfamiliar.
It feels scary. You just have to be willing.
You have to be conscious. You need to take the time to
listen to your voice, to listen to that deep truth, that
(29:50):
intuition, and allow it to come through respectfully and in
certain moments more than others.
But knowing it deep within yourself is strength.
So your voice is a gift, not because it's perfect, but
(30:10):
because it's real. You don't have to wait until you
feel completely ready to share something, to share your truth,
to share your expression. You can speak it now from your
heart, and you can do it within yourself.
You know, speak to yourself. The world needs more
(30:36):
authenticity, not more perfection.
Living in a world with AI, living in a world with social
media, living in a world where there's just masks after masks
after masks of people pretendingto be somebody because that's
who they think that they need tobe.
We can be better than that. We can be ourselves.
(30:59):
We can be real knowing that everyone else around us, we
can't control how real they are going to be or how they're going
to respond or how they're going to react in the world.
But what we can do is we can always be rooted in our own
truth. So thank you for listening.
(31:21):
Thank you for honouring your voice, for honoring your truth,
giving it a chance to be heard and listened to and then giving
it a chance to be listened to byothers, if that feels right for
you. So let's just close today's
episode with a nice little anchoring meditative practice.
(31:42):
So again, depending on where youare, just trying to find a
moment to just find some stillness.
If you're, you know, working outor you're driving a car or
something like that, it might bea little bit difficult.
You know, do your best, maybe just take a moment to close your
eyes. Not if you're driving, of
course. And let's just anchor this into
the body with a few grounding breaths.
So settle your shoulders, settleyour jaw, let it soften, feel
(32:11):
the natural rise and fall of your breath.
On your inhale, silently say to yourself, my voice is a sacred
expression. And then as you inhale again,
(32:38):
saying to yourself, I trust the unfolding of my voice.
And then one more breath in. As you're inhaling, I am safe to
be seen. It's OK to be seen.
(33:13):
Thank you for being here exactlyas you are.
And I'll leave a couple of reflective prompt questions for
you, which will be in the show notes, but I'll just say them
now. So what does your inner voice
long to express? What is something that's been
living inside you that needs to be shared, that wants to be
(33:34):
shared? If you know what it is, or you
find out what that is, share it with yourself first.
Allow it to be felt within you first.
Build that strength, that confidence of that truth, and
then when ready, you can share it with the external world in
(33:54):
whatever way that makes sense. How do I feel when I honor my
truth over seeking approval? How does it feel to listen to me
versus trying to get approval ofothers?
And where in my life can I practice safe and small acts of
(34:18):
visibility today? Not going for the big, the big
ones, but just the little ones. You know, exercising that
muscle, allowing it to cultivatestrength first within your own
safe environment with yourself, just speaking to yourself, maybe
(34:40):
to loved ones, people that you trust, people that you feel safe
with, where you know it's going to be received.
It's a great place to start. Thank you so much for tuning in
this week. As always, if you have any
questions, thoughts or comments,feedback, I'd love to hear it.
All of it. Otherwise, enjoy the rest of
(35:03):
your day and we'll speak to you next week.
Take care for now. Before you go, let me tell you
about the Going proyoga.com platform.
This is an online learning platform that is suited for
anyone who's interested in learning about yoga.
Whether you've done a 200 hour teacher training and you want to
supplement your own learning andcontinue to educate yourself and
grow, or you just are getting started with yoga.
(35:25):
You're interested in the topic and you want to learn more about
it. We have all the resources that
are available for you, whether it's learning more about
queuing, yoga poses, sequencing,creating classes, the yoga
philosophy and the lifestyle, ormaybe you're interested in the
anatomy and the Physiology and learning more about the body.
We have so much to offer for youand right now you can go check
it out for free for seven days. And if you like it and you want
(35:48):
to continue as a member, right now we're doing a special offer
for our podcast listeners where you can sign up for an extra 20%
off. So upon registration, make sure
to go down to that coupon code and push in Podcast Special 20.
Again, that's Podcast Special 20.
That'll give you 20% off the membership.
So if you're interested in that,I would not delay and I'd go
(36:10):
check it out today because we'reonly offering this to the 1st 30
users. Again, Podcast Special 20.
Go check it out going proyoga.com.
Hello and welcome back to the podcast.
My name is Michael Henry and thank you for joining today.
Today we're going to be steppinginto a tender and
transformational conversation, the one about being seen, heard,
and valued. So if you ever felt the fear of
speaking up for yourself, maybe sharing boundaries, teaching
(00:22):
publicly, or simply sharing yourtruth or what's important to
you, know that you're not alone.This is a very common thing.
Visibility can feel vulnerable. When we share things about what
we want or what we desire can sometimes feel very scary.
It can awaken old fears of rejection, judgement, or not
(00:45):
enough this. But your voice does matter.
Your presence matters. So today we're going to explore
how to move through the fear of visibility so that you can
teach, speak, and live from yourtrue center.
(01:19):
So before we get into today's core content, I'd love to ask
for your support if you haven't done so already by reviewing
this podcast. We share this podcast for free
for anyone to listen, and we just want to have this be
accessible to as many people as possible.
And one of the best ways that wecan spread this to the world is
by having the podcast reviewed. So if you go down to the main
(01:44):
page of the podcast, find that star review, whether it be on
Spotify or Apple Podcasts, and just give us some love.
We'd really appreciate it and it'll help us to expand this
into other people's phones ultimately.
So let's start to break this down a little bit more.
So we're talking about these twotopics.
(02:04):
We're really just talking about judgement and the authentic
expression of our self. So let's start to define what
these are a little bit more. So judgement, or the fear of
judgement more specifically, is the worry that others will
actually criticize, reject, or misunderstand what is being
(02:25):
shared or ultimately misunderstand you.
It often causes us to become silent or shrink parts of
ourselves to stay safe or to notruffle the feathers or to not be
a bother, to not disrupt, to notchange the flow of things that
(02:46):
have already been set up now. Authentic expression or sharing
your visibility, if you will, allowing yourself to be seen,
heard, understood, is your sharing of your thoughts, your
feelings, the truth, without filtering it too much to please
(03:11):
other people or to please others.
It's the courage to let your real voice be heard, regardless
of what you think it might soundlike.
Even when there's that vulnerability, when fear rises
in these moments, it often whispers things like, who am I
(03:32):
to say this? What if I get it wrong?
What if they don't like what I have to say?
Or what if they don't like me? What if they reject or judge me
for sharing? So think back to a moment when
you maybe hesitated to share something, a truth that an
(03:55):
intuitive feeling that was you knew somewhat deep down you
didn't want to or you did want to do something, but you kind of
ignored it because of the context of what was happening in
front of you. You felt like you didn't want to
disrupt things. You didn't want to mix things
up. It was just easier to what we
call fawn, which is just to oblige to just, you know, do
(04:19):
whatever the other person wants to do.
So what were you afraid of that might actually happen in those
moments? And how did it feel in your
body, if you can kind of reflectwith that?
I personally can relate a lot tothis because there's many times
(04:39):
where I feel like I'm just saying yes, or I'm obliging to
whatever it is that is in front of me because of responsibility
or because I'm trying to make someone's life easier.
Or this is something that I justfeel like I need to do because
it'll make this other person happier or seemingly so.
(05:03):
So in yoga, there's a concept called Satya, which is the
principle of truthfulness. Truthfulness which invites us to
speak and to live in alignment with our authentic cells.
So who are who? Who is you?
Who, who am I? Our authentic cells?
Who, who is that to me? I think about this deep
(05:26):
intuitive sense that knows what might be feeling good or not so
good for yourself. So Satya is not about
perfection, about making the perfect decisions, not being
judged. It's about integrity for
yourself, your own self integrity, listening to yourself
(05:47):
and following your own quote, UNquote truth.
Following out your own authenticexpression, what's real and
important to you. It's about honouring that truth
that is uniquely yours to express, even if it feels like
it might be rejected, even if itfeels like it's scary to share
(06:11):
that truthfulness, that authentic sharing or expression,
that intuition that comes up. Instead of muffling it or hiding
away from it, actually just listen to it.
And then from there, we can makedecisions on how we want to
respond with its knowing. So when I think about this, when
(06:33):
I think about truthfulness, whenI think about authentic
expression, when I think about your intuition, I think about
this balance and this juggle between, is this my authentic
expression, me trying to speak something that's really true and
real for me? Or is it more of a pattern or a
belief system that I learned in my life that I developed or
(06:57):
let's say got from my parents orsomeone that I've been around?
Because it's really easy for us to just absorb other people's
beliefs sometimes whenever we'rejust around them, you know,
someone says something and it's almost like it kind of gets
downloaded into our brain and then all of all of a sudden
becomes truth for us because we're like, oh, I really like
(07:18):
this person and I look up to this person.
So if they believe that, then I must, I should believe that too
to some degree. And this might be when we're
younger a little bit more so kind of a little bit more naive
and absorbent of some of those things.
So being able to tell the difference between your
intuition and whether it's a pattern or belief system that
(07:42):
might not necessarily be supporting your truth is
actually a challenging thing to do.
This is something that I, I don't want to see struggle with,
but it's something that I'm always thinking about and I'm
always asking myself like, is this something that I really,
really, really want to do? Or is this something that I feel
like I'm doing because I'm trying to please someone else or
please some sort of situation orpossibly just trying to be the
(08:07):
peacekeeper of that situation. And this would be best to keep
the peace to avoid the drama. And that's something that I
definitely want to do is I want to avoid drama.
I want to avoid that uncomfortableness and sometimes
just giving in is seems like theeasier choice.
But is it true that that's what I actually want?
(08:29):
Is that feel authentic? Does that feel right?
Or is it just that I'm trying tomake things seemingly easier by
avoiding my truth, not listeningto my intuition, and just kind
of like trying to neutralize thesituation?
Fawning, if you will. Obliging.
(08:51):
So this is a this is a constant juggle.
In fact, I had a conversation with someone about this few days
ago, even though I've been thinking about this for years.
I probably even mentioned it on the podcast before.
It's like, how do you know if it's the truth, the intuition
coming through that self authentic expression?
Or is it some sort of pattern orbelief that you've developed at
some time? Like how do you know?
(09:14):
The person I was speaking to yesterday said that she often
feels that if she can go from a place of giving, is my response
from a place of giving, from a place of love?
Because if it is, then that's probably more likely that
authentic expression. So I had to think about that a
(09:35):
little bit. And I was just like, how does
that actually relate to me? Like is it from a place of
giving or a place of receiving? Am I giving?
Am I doing this to be able to give something?
Or am I doing this to be able toreceive something?
(09:56):
Now that was somewhat helpful for me.
I'm curious to know if it was helpful for you in this moment.
But I start to think a little bit more about it.
I'm like, OK, so this intuition is this part of me, this is like
this deep knowing, this deep truth.
And I want to be able to feel into it.
So often times what I'll do is I'll actually ask myself
questions and then I'll see how my body responds.
(10:20):
Now this is a little bit more ofa human design thing with
generators. So, you know, there's most of
the people are generators out there.
And if you're not a generator, then it might not be as
relatable, but you can still feel into it as well.
So I usually ask myself the question like, do I actually
want to do this? And there's either a yes
feeling, a no feeling, or I'm not sure feeling.
(10:42):
So do I want to do this? Something like that?
Often times I don't get an answer right away.
It's usually like I'm not sure. So then I say OK, that means I
need to keep asking more questions.
So then I say things like, wouldit be good for me to do this?
Or am I doing this because otherpeople want me to do this?
(11:07):
Am I saying yes to this? Because I should be saying yes
to this. So starting to ask these
questions can really start to carve in a little bit more
specifically, like is this actually really important to me
to say yes or no? Is it from a place of actually
giving and sharing for this situation?
Or is it something that's actually that I need to receive?
(11:32):
We can zero in a little bit closer on that intuition versus
that, let's say, fawning by asking us those questions.
So let's kind of just think about it a little bit more.
What part of my truth is asking to be expressed, even if my
voice shakes a little bit? Now, if you ask yourself the
(11:57):
question and you answer to yourself within your own mind or
maybe your own space, it won't feel as scary versus actually
sharing it publicly or, you know, in front of somebody,
especially someone that you, you're, you're fearing their
response or how they might react.
But you'll feel more confident in yourself and the way that you
(12:20):
express it if you actually identify that as a truth 1st.
And you can do that by actually asking yourself those questions.
Is this actually something that I want?
Is this actually something that I should do?
Is this something that would be good for me?
Is this something that I has a responsibility that I need to
(12:43):
follow through on? Now, getting yes or no answers
to some of those questions doesn't mean that the answer is
yes or no. It's collecting A deeper
knowing, a deeper understanding of the situation, of your
intuition, of your authentic expression to get closer to the
answer. Because often times the answer
(13:04):
might be like, no, I don't want to do that, but it would be good
for me to do it, or it's my responsibility to do it, or I
need to do it because XY and Z, or it could be the opposite.
I do want to do it. However, there's another part of
me that I know that it's not good to do that because it's
(13:26):
going to result in whatever something else.
So just know that this is not a,you know, a perfect system.
It's more of just trying to helpcultivate tools, which is
something that I've been workingon for years and I by no means
have perfected it, but I'm just trying to find different ways
that we can navigate this, you know, being in truth of
(13:46):
ourselves, being authentic, feeling empowered to be able to
stand up for ourselves and speakup for ourselves, to create
boundaries. Do not have to worry about being
judged or to being, you know, misunderstood or rejected or
criticized. Because if we feel strongly in
our stance, but it's an authentic stance.
(14:06):
It's not coming from a place of fear or belief that was, you
know, adapted from our parents or friends or someone else, but
a true inner feeling that actually feels like, yes, that's
actually that feels right to me.So it is a juggle.
It's a bit of a process, but at the same time it's also kind of
(14:28):
fun because when you do land on the truth, it feels ever so
empowering. So from a neuroscience
perspective, social fear lights up the same areas of the brain
as physical pain. So that judgement, that
(14:49):
criticism, that rejection, that feeling misunderstood, it's
normal to feel a heightened sense of risk when stepping into
this visibility where you're actually sharing something or
telling somebody or people aboutsomething that feels raw, that
feels real, that feels deep. But that fear doesn't
(15:10):
necessarily mean that you're wrong in sharing it.
It simply means that you're stepping outside of your comfort
zone, doing something that mightbe unfamiliar, something that
you haven't done before, something you might not have
shared before. And sharing it feels scary
because how will it be received?But then recognizing that no
(15:35):
matter what is shared, we can never control how it's being
received by anyone. And there's going to be people
that are going to love to hear what you have to share.
And there's going to be people that are not going to love what
you have to share about your truth, your authentic
expression, etcetera. And what does that mean?
(15:55):
Does that means we shy away fromit because, oh, we want to make
sure everybody's happy and we want to make sure that we don't
ruffle the feathers. But the truth is, is no matter
what you share, whether it's thetruth or you're just trying to
oblige, people are going to likeit or not like it.
We can't control how people respond.
We can't control how people react to these things.
So why not speak the truth? Why not express ourselves
(16:18):
authentically? Respectful way, of course, that
allows us to live a life that feels more in alignment, that
allows us to feel like we're listening to ourselves, right?
We're not being controlled, we're being authentic.
(16:39):
So it is a process, it is a journey, and it is also just
part of life. Even though I talk about this
here like, oh, it sounds like I know what I'm talking about.
Yeah, but I still work at it every single day.
You know, I'm always asking myself even was it yesterday?
No, it was 2 days ago. I was thinking to myself, I was
like, do I really want to do this?
And the answer was no, I do not want to do this.
(17:00):
But then I was just like, shouldI do it?
And the answer was like, I'm notsure.
And then I was like, would it begood for me to do this?
And the answer was yes. So then I asked myself again,
OK, so then should I do this? And then the answer felt again,
a yes. So just a few questions, but
(17:20):
allowed me to get closer to my truth and allowed me to get to
where I needed to go to feel like this was my choice.
It was a conscious choice versusa subconscious, you know,
pattern or belief that I'm just following.
But I actually took the time to be aware, to ask myself the
questions, to sit with it and belike, let me just see how this
(17:41):
feels. We can get closer to the truth
that way. So let's continue this
conversation a little bit more into two other emotional
contrasts, and that is that external validation, which we
kind of talked about it without talking about it, and this
internal anchoring or the stability, if you will.
(18:05):
So external validation talked about before, but it is the
habit of measuring your worth bythe approval or praise of
others. It can feel good temporarily,
but it leaves you and your senseof value dependent on things
that you can't control, like theway that they respond or judge
(18:29):
or criticize or love. Versus this stability, this
internal anchoring is rooting yourself worth in yourself, that
your worthiness is known inside of you.
It's trusting your value, your voice, your experience, your
(18:53):
journey, no matter how others respond around you.
Again, because we can't control that, we can't control how the
others respond. Now we can deliver again, our
authentic expression or truth inways in which is respectful
honoring, you know, the fact that some people might like it
(19:16):
and that's OK, but it doesn't need to be aggressive.
It doesn't need to be. I'm right and this is the way.
And, you know, it's more so justthis is my experience, this is
how I feel about it and this is what feels good to me.
And, you know, there might be a difference of opinion there and
that's OK. You know, accepting that as part
of this process and not judging other people for not or not
(19:38):
judging other people for judgingyou, if that makes sense.
So it's tempting to seek safety through external validation, the
perfect reviews, the full classes, the endless praise.
You know, the applause, the acknowledgement.
(19:58):
But true freedom comes when yoursense of worth isn't tied to the
applause or criticism. Regardless if it's being
appreciated or not appreciated, it shouldn't affect who you are.
It shouldn't affect your truth. Sharing your truth shouldn't be
(20:23):
applauded. Sharing your truth shouldn't be
criticized. They both will be, but either
one doesn't matter. What's most important is that
you share your truth. You share what is real for you.
You share what is intuitively known, so you could use the same
moment that we talked about before you, you brought into
(20:44):
your attention. Otherwise, recall a moment when
you expressed yourself authentically, where you
actually shared something that was true for you, that was real
for you, even if it wasn't meantor met, I should say, with
universal acceptance or approval.
(21:05):
Maybe some people did and othersdidn't.
How did it feel inside to share that beyond the reactions of
others? So in yoga, one of the niyamas
(21:26):
yoga philosophy, Ishvara Pranidhana teaches surrender.
Surrender to higher self, trusting that your role is to
offer your truth, not to controlhow it's received.
Your task is to show up fully, not perfectly, fully.
(21:49):
You, uniquely you from a scientific perspective, building
internal validation for ourself.Meaning I'm validating my own
experience, I don't need external validation.
That internal validation strengthens that prefrontal
(22:13):
cortex or the medial part of your prefrontal cortex, the part
of your brain that's associated with that self referencing
emotional resilience. So every act of courageous
authentic expression literally rewires your brain for greater
self trust. Self trust, meaning trusting
(22:36):
yourself to share things that are true, to be able to express
yourself authentically. It becomes easier and easier the
more you do it. Now this makes me think a little
bit about, OK cool. It is good to share your truth.
It is good to share what feels real and and and authentic.
(22:59):
But I've also been in situationswhere people get a little bit
too, let's say out of balance with sharing their truth.
And it's just everything's aboutsharing their truth and
everything's about sharing theirhow they feel about this and
this and this. And to me, I just want to bring
attention to, let's not get too carried away with always sharing
(23:21):
a truth unconsciously, or I should say subconsciously
because it could get to a point where we're losing sight of.
Is this actually my intuitive sense or am I just following
some sort of pattern or belief, maybe a new pattern or belief
that was created more recently. So it really comes down to
making that conscious awareness of what's being expressed or
(23:45):
shared, creating these boundaries, saying yes, saying
no, deciding to do this, not deciding to do this.
Should I say this or should I not say this?
It doesn't always have to be yes, doesn't always have to be
no. But I think making that
conscious choice is what's really important.
(24:05):
And the best way that we can make that conscious choice is to
stop. Find that stillness, find that
stability and that groundedness.Take a moment, breathe, and then
just ask yourself a few questions.
Do I want to? Does this feel right to me?
(24:30):
Will this be good for me? Will this be good for the
situation? Should I do this?
There's many different questionsto be asked, and these are just
the few that are popping off thetop of my head, but you might
have some other questions that come through for you.
So let's just take a moment to root in some of these lessons
(24:52):
concepts and really just kind ofanchor them in.
So depending on what you're doing, you know, sitting,
standing, laying down, ideally finding that straight spine.
So if you're sitting, just finding a nice tall spine, place
one hand on your throat or closeto your throat and the other
just below it onto your heart. Feel the steady beat of your
(25:17):
heart, the pulse of life that lives within you, and softly
whisper to yourself as you feel your heart beating.
My voice is rooted in truth. When I connect to my heart and I
(25:42):
allow my heart to speak consciously, my truth is
revealed. It takes time to allow that
truth to come through, and I am patient and eager to hear it.
(26:12):
My voice is rooted in my truth. So visibility sharing can feel
quite vulnerable to express something that may have never
been expressed before from you. It might have been expressed
from other people before, and maybe even see other people
(26:33):
doing it. And you, you admire them and
you're just like, wow, so brave of them.
It's so courageous, it's so inspiring.
And that's great to use that as a fuel for your own actions.
But it doesn't negate the fact that it can still be scary.
That fear of judgement, that fear of rejection, it's a real
(26:53):
thing. So acknowledging that is a good
step, but also recognizing to not let that stop you from
sharing what feels real for you,what feels true, what feels
authentic, to be able to navigate whatever situations in
front of you. So when you share your voice,
when you share what feels true and real, especially if you're
(27:16):
around people that are loving, trusting, supportive to you,
which is often family and friends, and hopefully within a
working environment, they have those similar qualities.
You offer others permission to do the same.
So when you express your truth, you strengthen the collective
tapestry of authenticity. When someone else sees how real
(27:42):
and raw and authentic that you are, it inspires others to do
the same, just like you might beinspired by someone else who
embodies that same behavior. So then let's just keep it
simple. Ask yourself this question.
(28:03):
What truths within me are ready to be shared right now in this
moment in my life? Maybe small is a good way to
start. What truths within me are ready
to be shared with someone that Iknow is going to receive them to
(28:23):
kind of build that muscle a loved one?
Where am I seeking external approval in my life and how
might I root into internal trustinstead creating boundaries
(28:46):
instead of trying to get that external approval?
What would change if I believe that my voice was needed exactly
as it is? What if what I share is exactly
(29:06):
what needs to be heard, and withholding that from the world,
from the situation, is only going to cause more suffering?
Possibly for yourself, maybe forothers.
(29:27):
So the truth is, is you don't have to be fearless to be
visible, to be able to share. The fear is there.
It's what we all experience whenwe do anything that's
uncomfortable, when we do anything that's unfamiliar.
It feels scary. You just have to be willing.
You have to be conscious. You need to take the time to
listen to your voice, to listen to that deep truth, that
(29:50):
intuition, and allow it to come through respectfully and in
certain moments more than others.
But knowing it deep within yourself is strength.
So your voice is a gift, not because it's perfect, but
(30:10):
because it's real. You don't have to wait until you
feel completely ready to share something, to share your truth,
to share your expression. You can speak it now from your
heart, and you can do it within yourself.
You know, speak to yourself. The world needs more
(30:36):
authenticity, not more perfection.
Living in a world with AI, living in a world with social
media, living in a world where there's just masks after masks
after masks of people pretendingto be somebody because that's
who they think that they need tobe.
We can be better than that. We can be ourselves.
(30:59):
We can be real knowing that everyone else around us, we
can't control how real they are going to be or how they're going
to respond or how they're going to react in the world.
But what we can do is we can always be rooted in our own
truth. So thank you for listening.
(31:21):
Thank you for honouring your voice, for honoring your truth,
giving it a chance to be heard and listened to and then giving
it a chance to be listened to byothers, if that feels right for
you. So let's just close today's
episode with a nice little anchoring meditative practice.
(31:42):
So again, depending on where youare, just trying to find a
moment to just find some stillness.
If you're, you know, working outor you're driving a car or
something like that, it might bea little bit difficult.
You know, do your best, maybe just take a moment to close your
eyes. Not if you're driving, of
course. And let's just anchor this into
the body with a few grounding breaths.
So settle your shoulders, settleyour jaw, let it soften, feel
(32:11):
the natural rise and fall of your breath.
On your inhale, silently say to yourself, my voice is a sacred
expression. And then as you inhale again,
(32:38):
saying to yourself, I trust the unfolding of my voice.
And then one more breath in. As you're inhaling, I am safe to
be seen. It's OK to be seen.
(33:13):
Thank you for being here exactlyas you are.
And I'll leave a couple of reflective prompt questions for
you, which will be in the show notes, but I'll just say them
now. So what does your inner voice
long to express? What is something that's been
living inside you that needs to be shared, that wants to be
(33:34):
shared? If you know what it is, or you
find out what that is, share it with yourself first.
Allow it to be felt within you first.
Build that strength, that confidence of that truth, and
then when ready, you can share it with the external world in
(33:54):
whatever way that makes sense. How do I feel when I honor my
truth over seeking approval? How does it feel to listen to me
versus trying to get approval ofothers?
And where in my life can I practice safe and small acts of
(34:18):
visibility today? Not going for the big, the big
ones, but just the little ones. You know, exercising that
muscle, allowing it to cultivatestrength first within your own
safe environment with yourself, just speaking to yourself, maybe
(34:40):
to loved ones, people that you trust, people that you feel safe
with, where you know it's going to be received.
It's a great place to start. Thank you so much for tuning in
this week. As always, if you have any
questions, thoughts or comments,feedback, I'd love to hear it.
All of it. Otherwise, enjoy the rest of
(35:03):
your day and we'll speak to you next week.
Take care for now. Before you go, let me tell you
about the Going proyoga.com platform.
This is an online learning platform that is suited for
anyone who's interested in learning about yoga.
Whether you've done a 200 hour teacher training and you want to
supplement your own learning andcontinue to educate yourself and
grow, or you just are getting started with yoga.
(35:25):
You're interested in the topic and you want to learn more about
it. We have all the resources that
are available for you, whether it's learning more about
queuing, yoga poses, sequencing,creating classes, the yoga
philosophy and the lifestyle, ormaybe you're interested in the
anatomy and the Physiology and learning more about the body.
We have so much to offer for youand right now you can go check
it out for free for seven days. And if you like it and you want
(35:48):
to continue as a member, right now we're doing a special offer
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That'll give you 20% off the membership.
So if you're interested in that,I would not delay and I'd go
(36:10):
check it out today because we'reonly offering this to the 1st 30
users. Again, Podcast Special 20.
Go check it out going proyoga.com.
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