December 19, 2024 • 24 mins
What if you could turn unimaginable grief into a beacon of hope? That's exactly what Karen Houck has done after the tragic loss of her daughter Alyssa Noelle Audette to a drug overdose in 2011. Join us as Karen shares her deeply personal journey through loss and how the discovery of the Kindness Rocks Project became a healing force. Through "Alyssa's Wishes," inspired by a simple ladybug-painted rock, Karen honors her daughter's legacy and the family's mission to spread kindness, all while navigating the challenges of enduring grief.
We also take you to a vibrant community hub in Missouri where a love for books birthed a little free library that's become much more than its humble beginnings. This charming library, adorned with a delightful metal ladybug design, has captured the hearts of families and children alike. Through the trials of a global pandemic, it expanded with a toddler-friendly annex to cater to its growing visitors. Alongside heartwarming tales of community interaction, we explore the inspiring connections these projects have fostered and ponder the possibilities of extending the kindness initiative across borders, drawing inspirations from other charitable endeavors like Pancakes for Roger. Tune in to hear stories of resilience, community spirit, and the transformative power of small acts of kindness.
#loss #grief #heartbreak #littlefreelibrary
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, hello there and welcome.
You are listening to theKindness Matters podcast and I
am your host, mike Rathbun.
What is this podcast all about?
It's about kindness.
It's a pushback againsteverything negative that we see
in the news and on social mediatoday, and it's a way to
(00:20):
highlight people, organizationsthat are simply striving to make
their little corner of theworld a little better place.
If you want to join in on theconversation, feel free, Go
ahead and follow us on all ofyour social media feeds.
We're on Facebook, instagram,tiktok.
We're even on LinkedIn underMike Rathbun.
(00:43):
Check us out.
We're even on LinkedIn underMike Rathbun.
Check us out and, in themeantime, so sit back, relax,
enjoy and we'll get into theKindness Matters podcast.
Hello and welcome to theKindness Matters podcast
everybody.
I am so very, very happy andgrateful that you are here to
(01:04):
listen to this show.
My guest today is Karen Houck,and in 2011, karen suffered a
way to turn her grief into aproject of kindness, and I
(01:35):
cannot wait for you to hear thisstory.
Welcome to the show, karen.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Thank you for having me me oh, pleasure is all mine.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
So your daughter was Alyssa Noel Audet correct.
Yeah, right, yes and like somany kids these days, she got a
hold of some narcotics, but butbecause some kids get a hold of
(02:15):
them and they take their tripand they're fine, but these days
that's not always the case, isit?
No, not at all that's notalways the case, is it?
No, not at all.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Uh, was, was no, uh, sorry, alissa was alissa's.
Was it fentanyl that it waslinked?
We were, we were before thefentanyl crisis that we're now
um, because it was 2011.
It was a drug called opana,which, um most people I'm sure
you included have not heard of.
We had not heard of it at thetime.
It was produced to deal withpeople being.
It was made stronger.
It was an opioid that was madestronger for the people that
(02:52):
were already addicted to, likethe oxycodone, and many people
felt that it should not be over.
You know, even with theprescription available, it
should be in a hospital setting,kind of like a morphine sort of
situation, and ultimately nowit is back off the market.
So you know the lobbyists gotit on the market.
It was on the market at thetime.
Somebody that she considered afriend had them and gave her one
(03:14):
at a party and she made it allthe way home and her dad found
her the next day.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Oh, my God.
I mean, that's like everyparent's worst nightmare and I'm
really sorry you had to gothrough that.
Thank you, and that was 2011,right 2011.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Yeah, we're just about.
It was the Saturday, well,friday night into the Saturday
morning after Thanksgiving.
So it was November 26th.
So the timing of this is, likemost things, perfect and ironic
all at the same time.
You know, we're knee deep in itNovember.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
It's just heavy yeah, oh, I'm sure I can't imagine
the weight on your heart thistime of year, and that never
goes away, does it?
Speaker 2 (04:02):
no, it changes and it alters.
I've done well, I tried to.
I do a lot with grief, mostlymy own and um.
Alissa has a sister, ashley,and you know so, and she has a
daughter, so I have agranddaughter.
So you know, we live a lifewhere we, you know, do things
all the time and alissa's honorand we talk about grief, and I
(04:24):
gathered the grievers, um,intentionally and
unintentionally, they they dofind us here, um, so, um, yeah,
it doesn't, it doesn't ever goaway.
So in some ways it's worse,because now all her you know she
would have been 32- and youknow, like you know her friends
have had babies and got married.
(04:44):
you know Alice is here now anddoesn't get to know her, and you
know we have to do all theseother things that you don't do
in the beginning.
Obviously you know so.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Yeah, for sure, but so let's flash forward to 2017,
was it yes when you found outabout the Kindness Rocks project
?
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I actually went and found the little rock.
It's a tiny little ladybug,it's literally like a quarter,
the size of a quarter.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
A friend of mine that was living in Florida.
We're Long Islanders.
I was in Louisiana, she was inFlorida and found that rock, a
little ladybug rock, and it wasJuly, which is Alyssa's birthday
month, and she said it made methink of you and Alyssa, because
I have a degree in horticultureand I was kind of a hippie and
I taught.
(05:34):
You know I, my Girl Scoutslearned how to make compost and
we would set ladybugs free toeat the aphids in the summer,
which is considered integratedpest management.
So ladybugs, and us were alwaysa thing, and everyone that knew
us then knew that.
So she found the rock in Julyof 2017.
And she sent me a picture andshe said I don't know what this
is, but you guys are crafty andpeople here in Vero Beach do
(05:57):
this thing they paint rocks andthey put them out for other
people to find.
And I was like, oh, that'sintriguing.
And I consulted with her sisterand people to find.
And I was like, oh, that'sintriguing.
And I consulted with her sisterand, um, we went on, you know,
dealt with Mr Google and wefound the Kindness Rocks project
, which is, you know, based outof Cape Cod, and I was going to
say I thought it was East Coastyeah.
Cape Cod and, um, by the end ofthat day we sort of created
(06:20):
Alyssa's wishes and Alyssa, whenshe passed even at 20, had a
bucket list.
We found a lot of things in herroom, as you do, and on the
bucket list one of the thingswas to travel the world.
So our intention right from thego was, if we do this and we
put it out into the universe,that not only would people hear
her name and her story, ourstory, but we would get her
(06:44):
story around the world.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
So oh, wow, yeah, for sure now, and your rocks have
been alissa's rocks, if you willhave been all over every 50
state right, you know states,yes, but also around the world.
Not we just.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
We just got to Japan for the first time.
Yeah, we have aMyHusbandMansaorg website,
alyssa'swishesorg, and there aremaps of where we've gone over
the years.
And, yes, we're in all thecontinents, we're all in the
states of the United States, andthen we've been to a lot of
(07:23):
different countries, a lot ofislands, you know Cancun and
Jamaica and all those places ohyeah and the intriguing part
about it is sometimes we know,um, ashley's job used to be in
Manhattan, um, so there wasalways rocks in her office and
people would be traveling orshe'd leave it, you know, at
lunch in Times Square and youwould never know like a man
picked one up that was on a tripto New York and brought it to
(07:45):
India.
That's how we got to India.
What and then you know, um, youget.
You don't always get to hearabout it, which is another whole
wrinkle to the story.
You know they're out there, youknow, sure, doing their thing,
um, so that you know.
So sometimes it happens thatway and then other times
somebody will be like I'm goingto Italy, can you make some
rocks to me, can you hit?
You know, give me, and we knowat least we're there, like we
(08:07):
were just in Las Vegas.
A friend of ours husband took abag to Las Vegas for a teachers
conference, you know, and nowthey're turning up.
You hear from.
You know the percentage is nothigh, but people that tell you,
you know that, reach out to say,I found it.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
So that's kind of a bonus you have to lay into the
the randomness of it, you knowso I was gonna say do you have
something on the rocks that thattells people who find them what
to do with them or who tocontact?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
and it's interesting because, um, also in 2017, at
that point, we had done a bunchof things, as you do, um, in
honor of her, but they were allone-timers, like on her birthday
, we would adopt a seal, or youknow, you go, you do different
honor of her, but they were allone timers, like on her birthday
, we would adopt a seal, or, youknow, you go, you do different
things for different charities.
We have now her rescue, animalrescue charities.
We would do specific things,but they were, you know, for the
(08:56):
anniversary you go get a tattoo, or the birthday you go get.
You know you do very differentthings.
This, the actual painting ofthe rocks, was the first time I
had, like a tangible place toput my grief every day.
So the painting is very, veryhas become very soothing for me,
or very therapeutic, um, and Ido write on the back of every
(09:18):
one of them.
It says when found share apicture of this kindness rock at
Alyssa's wishes.
So I write her name, you know,hundreds of times a week.
Oh my gosh, I paint every day,you know.
So sometimes it'll just bedepending on the size of the
rock.
It'll be a little less, butit's always when found.
Share picture.
And you know, sometimes youhear about them, somebody's
(09:39):
moving and they're like, oh mygosh, I found this in the drawer
.
I found it two years ago onvacation in Florida, you know.
And then and they're like, ohmy gosh, I found this in the
drawer.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
I found it two years ago on vacation in Florida, you
know, and then we all laugh, youknow.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
But yes, I get to write her name.
You know, not only talk abouther, but actually physically
write her name every day.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
So that's how do you get that so neat?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Well, I did take drafting in school and college.
You know, for horticulture.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Good for you.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Landscape design, you know.
But yeah, yes, and a good pen,a good pen helps.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
A really good pen.
That's the secret.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Uh-huh, a pointy pen.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
But you weren't content just with that right.
No, you created a little freelibrary.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Yes, Well, it's getting a little bit harder to
do, but every year on herbirthday we always try to do
something more.
Now, as time goes on, againobviously that gets harder, but
we keep trying.
And her sister's a writer.
We were always.
I was the scholastic book fairchairperson.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
We read every Harry.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Potter out loud.
We would be waiting in costumeat Borders for the new book to
come out at midnight.
We were those people Lissy,loved poetry.
We always had a house library,a library in our house.
So somewhere along the way in2019, I was like, well, what if
we opened one of those cutelittle library boxes We'd put.
You know, we already had theKindness Rocks garden out front
(11:03):
of our house, so we already hadsome traffic.
Where we live, there's a lot ofhomeschool families.
It seemed like a natural thing.
Ashley, her sister, is a writer.
So we said okay, let's do it.
So we had friends build themain box and it comes down to
the fact that we opened in Julyof 2020.
The world was closed and weopened a library.
(11:26):
So everything has been donated.
But that first year I waswiping books down because they
were coming in, you know, out ofpeople's houses.
We didn't know what was what.
Everyone was home.
So we were a destination, so wehit the ground running.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Perfect.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Yeah, it's quite extraordinary now that would
have been perfect.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
I'm sorry it's okay.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
We just um, after the uh four years of missouri
weather here, uh, the main woodbox has kind of uh had broken
down enough that we had toreplace it.
So this july we just had acommissioned a big metal ladybug
library to be built.
So she's huge and she's metaloh wow, I could see her out
(12:09):
there right now.
It's been busy today.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
No, no issues with the weather there um, nope, nope
, I'm.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
She gets a little hot in the sun, but that won't be a
problem.
For now, the big black walnuttree and what kind of books do
you?
Speaker 1 (12:28):
is it just just strictly kids books, or we?
Speaker 2 (12:31):
do a little bit of everything.
Most of our patrons arrive witha grown-up, so I would say
we're 75, 25, 75 kids books.
We always have a toddler annex.
That's low, it's a low box.
So originally in 2020, weopened the main box and then
each year past that we openedenough, we added to it, so it
had three boxes.
So there was a toddler annex.
(12:52):
When my granddaughter arrivedhere in Missouri, I was like,
okay, the toddlers you alwayssee the mom sort of dad's
holding up the kids to try toget a book out of the main box.
I was like what, if we put alittle box low, it's the busiest
spot in the library Busiestalways.
The busiest spot Always needsto be refilled.
It's crazy, it's crazy awesome.
And then we had a secondary boxbecause I have a little OCD and
(13:14):
it looked uneven.
So the next year we builtanother box and I would put like
seasonal or non-fiction.
We move a lot of non-fiction,but we have an extraordinary
neighborhood that has a lot of,like, walkers and bike riders
and it's um, so we have a lot ofregulars but um, but for the
most part the kids, you know.
(13:36):
So we get kids on bikes, we getkids on in golf carts, because
it's missouri golf carts.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, we did a few scooters.
You know I'm like okay when mykids were growing up it was four
wheelers, now it's golf carts.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Yeah, you know, I get a pack of teenagers out there
in a golf cart.
I'm like, okay, don't put ahelmet on, be careful, um,
somebody's gonna get killed,stop it.
You know, the mom in me comesright out.
But but, um, but for the mostpart, yes, we do both, because
most of the, the children, thepatrons that do arrive, come as
a family, you know, andgrown-ups will come for kids
(14:11):
books, the homeschoolers willcome as a family.
So, yeah, both that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
I was reading the notes I had taken before when we
were talking and and alissareally loved penguins.
Yes, she had, and all of asudden, I'm thinking, has one of
your rocks been to southamerica?
Speaker 2 (14:31):
I don't don't think we've been in south america.
I probably should have had themap open.
I really don't think we havebeen.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
I'm'm really bad at geography Because I have a
connection.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I will definitely send you a box to help us get
there.
I did an episode a while backfor a woman who has something
called Pancakes for Roger andit's a charity in honor of her
dad.
He was an Agent Orange Vietnamvet, okay, and they donate money
to law centers to help servicemembers who need legal help for
(15:06):
free.
But every year she does a thingcalled Pancakes for Roger,
where somebody you're supposedto take a picture of yourself, a
selfie, with a plate ofpancakes, and send it to them,
and she said she had everycountry in the world and then
she found somebody who was goingto South America to McMurdo
(15:27):
station.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Or not South America, I'm sorry, south pole, okay,
sorry.
And so she got in touch withhim and had him take the picture
.
They actually shipped pancakemix down there.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
And had him take the picture.
So I know somebody down therewow and had him take the picture
so I know somebody, I will, I'mgonna talk to her.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Okay, I'm gonna talk to her.
We'll make that happen.
I'm so I.
Everybody at the post officeknows when they ask the
questions I go with my little.
If it fits, it ships ten dollarbox, you know, and they ask the
questions is you know lithiumbatteries liquid?
You know perishable?
I'm like nope, just rocks.
You know lithium batteriesliquid?
You know perishable?
I'm like nope, just rocks.
You know, sometimes bookmarks,rocks and bookmarks.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Rocks and bookmarks.
This is so cool and what anamazing way to remember Alyssa
and, at the same time, make theworld a little better, a little
happier place.
I love that.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
It really is.
You know, I could have neverimagined that my therapy would
become.
You know the little.
You know.
We call it the kindness empirethat it's become.
You know yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
But even like today, you know the world is a little
angsty.
I put out an extra table ofbooks and I promoted it on
social media.
We help other libraries.
We'll help teachers seed theirclassrooms you know, new
teachers.
We're over.
35,000 books have traveledthrough my hands, 35,000.
(16:59):
And we know that because westicker the backs and put our
charter number on them.
It has a little lady booksticker on the and it'll say you
know the Little Ladybug Libraryand the charter number.
So like because thelittlefreelibraryorg empire has
a world map.
They're around the world andyou can actually put the app on
(17:20):
your phone and find thelibraries wherever you're
standing.
So we always travel with booksand it's also a good way because
then people look you up,because they can look you up by
the charter to see where thebook started.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
So if I were to put a little free library out in
front of my house, is itsomething you register with the
littlefreelibraryorg?
All of them do?
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I was going to say it's like $2525 and they assign
you a charter number and thenthat goes on there and then you
go on the map so, um, it's, it'sjust, it's fun.
I'm always I should be getting astipend from them, cause I'm
always promoting it, causewherever we go, you know you go
to the doctor three towns away.
I'm like, let me just see whereI am, you know, if there's
(18:06):
anybody new around that Ihaven't touched and I'll just go
throw a couple of books orbookmarks in the other library
and we'll absolutely put a linkto the littlefreelibraryorg in
the show notes for sure.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Where do you get your books from?
They?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
have been donated, all of them.
Today I went to pick mygranddaughter up at preschool
and stopped for lunch on the wayhome and there were two
gigantic totes on my front lawn.
When we came back, and thenright before I got on uh, the
phone with you, um, a womanbrought me like 11 boxes of
adult books.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
She's like is this too many?
I'm like we'll find a homewe'll find a home.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
We'll find a home for them.
So the mission now becomes partof that is to figure out.
We work with a lot of othernon-profits in the area.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Oh nice.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Like I said, we do stock a lot of other teacher
classrooms or people know toreach out.
That's always part of it.
For me now is to help the booksfind their people.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
So, yes, yes, and you , you said you did some work
with um animal shelters.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
We do.
Um, well, our dog won't.
You know, I raised my girls onLong Island, New York.
Um, our dog was from an animalshelter called Kent, which is
still there.
Um, so, because our dog wasfrom there when she first passed
away, we suggested that.
And the Riverhead MarineFoundation, which is also
(19:32):
connected to an aquarium on LongIsland, that does you know,
helps with the turtles and youdo beach cleanup and all the
things that were important toour lives when I was raising my
children.
So those two stayed and then Ilived in Louisiana for a little
while and now I'm here inMissouri.
So we've kind of added to theto the mix.
I've always tended to be onethat's kind of civically minded
(19:54):
and I need to do that both forme and then for her.
So, like right now for themonth of November, we are
actually have a tote out frontby the library and we're
collecting for one of those theanimal shelters that we support
here, also for a veteran's homelocally.
We had patrons that have nowbecome friends, also had great
(20:14):
loss in their life and they do alot of work with the veteran's
home.
Actually, you'll like this partof the story the baby boxes
from the original wood librarythey took and refurbished and
upscaled into a new library in adifferent part of the state in
Missouri.
So they're doing that.
And then the last one is onecalled no Shame, Kansas City,
(20:37):
which is about period povertyand women's products.
They collect women's productsfor the unborn.
Oh nice, which you know, as themom of girls and being a girl,
a woman kind of important.
So those are the three thatwe're working with right now.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
But yeah, so on the website.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
If you go to Alyssa's website the Alyssa's Wishesorg
website, not the social mediasthere's links to all the things
that we we try to supportthroughout the year yeah, and,
and you're on social media,right, you're on facebook,
you're on instagram yeah and um,my ashley has us on the tiktok
to laugh when I say the tiktok,we're on the tiktok like the
(21:18):
cool kids.
Um, yeah, we're all the places,we're all the places we're all
the places.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
I am also on the tickety talk see you're cool, I
knew you were cool, oh heck.
Yeah, it was so awesome.
I am so happy that you wereable to spend some time with me
today, karen, and I really,really appreciate you and I
appreciate what you're doing inAlyssa's name.
I know she's smiling down onyou so big right now and just
(21:50):
loving every minute of this.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Well, she definitely would love all the parts of it,
except the talking to all thepeople.
It's funny Her sister and I arevery outgoing and make friends
wherever we go, and she was notalways that way.
She had a very smaller circlethan the rest of us.
So when people ask me well,what would Alyssa think about
what you're doing, I'm like shewould love all of it.
You know, like she would loveheading to the garage now to
(22:14):
open those 11 boxes.
It's like Christmas, you know,and you don't know what you got
in them until you get them out.
But you know, the talking tothe people on the front lawn and
talking to you and those kindsof things would not be her jam.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Not her jam.
Hey you know what?
We all have our jam.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
As we say in my house .
Speaker 1 (22:33):
That's right, absolutely.
Thank you so much for takingthe time with me today, karen.
I so appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
I appreciate you, Mike, what you do every day as
far as promoting random acts ofkindness in the world that
obviously needs it and giving methe opportunity to talk about
my girl.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Fantastic.
Thanks so much and we will bein touch.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Okay, sounds good.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
I want to thank all of you for taking this time to
listen to this episode with myguest, karen Houck from Alyssa's
Wishes.
I hope you're able to takesomething positive from the time
you spent with me.
Maybe you'll be inspired, maybeyou'll be motivated, maybe
you'll be moved, and if youexperienced any of those
(23:16):
positive feelings, pleaseconsider sharing this podcast
with your friends and family.
Also, feel free to follow us onour socials like Facebook,
instagram, linkedin and TikTok.
This podcast is part of theMayday Media Network.
If you have an idea for apodcast and need some production
assistance, or have a podcastand are looking for a supportive
(23:38):
network to join, check outmaydaymedianetworkcom and check
out the many different shows,like Afrocentric Spoil, my Movie
Generation Mixtape In a PickleRadio Show, wake Up and Dream
with D'Anthony Palin and StacksOpaques.
We will be back again next weekwith a brand new episode and we
(24:01):
would be honored if you wouldjoin us.
You've been listening to theKindness Matters Podcast.
I'm your host, mike Rathbun.
Have a fantastic week.
Well, hello there and welcome.
You are listening to theKindness Matters podcast and I
am your host, mike Rathbun.
What is this podcast all about?
It's about kindness.
It's a pushback againsteverything negative that we see
in the news and on social mediatoday, and it's a way to
(00:20):
highlight people, organizationsthat are simply striving to make
their little corner of theworld a little better place.
If you want to join in on theconversation, feel free, Go
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We're on Facebook, instagram,tiktok.
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(00:43):
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enjoy and we'll get into theKindness Matters podcast.
Hello and welcome to theKindness Matters podcast
everybody.
I am so very, very happy andgrateful that you are here to
(01:04):
listen to this show.
My guest today is Karen Houck,and in 2011, karen suffered a
way to turn her grief into aproject of kindness, and I
(01:35):
cannot wait for you to hear thisstory.
Welcome to the show, karen.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Thank you for having me me oh, pleasure is all mine.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
So your daughter was Alyssa Noel Audet correct.
Yeah, right, yes and like somany kids these days, she got a
hold of some narcotics, but butbecause some kids get a hold of
(02:15):
them and they take their tripand they're fine, but these days
that's not always the case, isit?
No, not at all that's notalways the case, is it?
No, not at all.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Uh, was, was no, uh, sorry, alissa was alissa's.
Was it fentanyl that it waslinked?
We were, we were before thefentanyl crisis that we're now
um, because it was 2011.
It was a drug called opana,which, um most people I'm sure
you included have not heard of.
We had not heard of it at thetime.
It was produced to deal withpeople being.
It was made stronger.
It was an opioid that was madestronger for the people that
(02:52):
were already addicted to, likethe oxycodone, and many people
felt that it should not be over.
You know, even with theprescription available, it
should be in a hospital setting,kind of like a morphine sort of
situation, and ultimately nowit is back off the market.
So you know the lobbyists gotit on the market.
It was on the market at thetime.
Somebody that she considered afriend had them and gave her one
(03:14):
at a party and she made it allthe way home and her dad found
her the next day.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Oh, my God.
I mean, that's like everyparent's worst nightmare and I'm
really sorry you had to gothrough that.
Thank you, and that was 2011,right 2011.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Yeah, we're just about.
It was the Saturday, well,friday night into the Saturday
morning after Thanksgiving.
So it was November 26th.
So the timing of this is, likemost things, perfect and ironic
all at the same time.
You know, we're knee deep in itNovember.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
It's just heavy yeah, oh, I'm sure I can't imagine
the weight on your heart thistime of year, and that never
goes away, does it?
Speaker 2 (04:02):
no, it changes and it alters.
I've done well, I tried to.
I do a lot with grief, mostlymy own and um.
Alissa has a sister, ashley,and you know so, and she has a
daughter, so I have agranddaughter.
So you know, we live a lifewhere we, you know, do things
all the time and alissa's honorand we talk about grief, and I
(04:24):
gathered the grievers, um,intentionally and
unintentionally, they they dofind us here, um, so, um, yeah,
it doesn't, it doesn't ever goaway.
So in some ways it's worse,because now all her you know she
would have been 32- and youknow, like you know her friends
have had babies and got married.
(04:44):
you know Alice is here now anddoesn't get to know her, and you
know we have to do all theseother things that you don't do
in the beginning.
Obviously you know so.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Yeah, for sure, but so let's flash forward to 2017,
was it yes when you found outabout the Kindness Rocks project
?
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I actually went and found the little rock.
It's a tiny little ladybug,it's literally like a quarter,
the size of a quarter.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
A friend of mine that was living in Florida.
We're Long Islanders.
I was in Louisiana, she was inFlorida and found that rock, a
little ladybug rock, and it wasJuly, which is Alyssa's birthday
month, and she said it made methink of you and Alyssa, because
I have a degree in horticultureand I was kind of a hippie and
I taught.
(05:34):
You know I, my Girl Scoutslearned how to make compost and
we would set ladybugs free toeat the aphids in the summer,
which is considered integratedpest management.
So ladybugs, and us were alwaysa thing, and everyone that knew
us then knew that.
So she found the rock in Julyof 2017.
And she sent me a picture andshe said I don't know what this
is, but you guys are crafty andpeople here in Vero Beach do
(05:57):
this thing they paint rocks andthey put them out for other
people to find.
And I was like, oh, that'sintriguing.
And I consulted with her sisterand people to find.
And I was like, oh, that'sintriguing.
And I consulted with her sisterand, um, we went on, you know,
dealt with Mr Google and wefound the Kindness Rocks project
, which is, you know, based outof Cape Cod, and I was going to
say I thought it was East Coastyeah.
Cape Cod and, um, by the end ofthat day we sort of created
(06:20):
Alyssa's wishes and Alyssa, whenshe passed even at 20, had a
bucket list.
We found a lot of things in herroom, as you do, and on the
bucket list one of the thingswas to travel the world.
So our intention right from thego was, if we do this and we
put it out into the universe,that not only would people hear
her name and her story, ourstory, but we would get her
(06:44):
story around the world.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
So oh, wow, yeah, for sure now, and your rocks have
been alissa's rocks, if you willhave been all over every 50
state right, you know states,yes, but also around the world.
Not we just.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
We just got to Japan for the first time.
Yeah, we have aMyHusbandMansaorg website,
alyssa'swishesorg, and there aremaps of where we've gone over
the years.
And, yes, we're in all thecontinents, we're all in the
states of the United States, andthen we've been to a lot of
(07:23):
different countries, a lot ofislands, you know Cancun and
Jamaica and all those places ohyeah and the intriguing part
about it is sometimes we know,um, ashley's job used to be in
Manhattan, um, so there wasalways rocks in her office and
people would be traveling orshe'd leave it, you know, at
lunch in Times Square and youwould never know like a man
picked one up that was on a tripto New York and brought it to
(07:45):
India.
That's how we got to India.
What and then you know, um, youget.
You don't always get to hearabout it, which is another whole
wrinkle to the story.
You know they're out there, youknow, sure, doing their thing,
um, so that you know.
So sometimes it happens thatway and then other times
somebody will be like I'm goingto Italy, can you make some
rocks to me, can you hit?
You know, give me, and we knowat least we're there, like we
(08:07):
were just in Las Vegas.
A friend of ours husband took abag to Las Vegas for a teachers
conference, you know, and nowthey're turning up.
You hear from.
You know the percentage is nothigh, but people that tell you,
you know that, reach out to say,I found it.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
So that's kind of a bonus you have to lay into the
the randomness of it, you knowso I was gonna say do you have
something on the rocks that thattells people who find them what
to do with them or who tocontact?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
and it's interesting because, um, also in 2017, at
that point, we had done a bunchof things, as you do, um, in
honor of her, but they were allone-timers, like on her birthday
, we would adopt a seal, or youknow, you go, you do different
honor of her, but they were allone timers, like on her birthday
, we would adopt a seal, or, youknow, you go, you do different
things for different charities.
We have now her rescue, animalrescue charities.
We would do specific things,but they were, you know, for the
(08:56):
anniversary you go get a tattoo, or the birthday you go get.
You know you do very differentthings.
This, the actual painting ofthe rocks, was the first time I
had, like a tangible place toput my grief every day.
So the painting is very, veryhas become very soothing for me,
or very therapeutic, um, and Ido write on the back of every
(09:18):
one of them.
It says when found share apicture of this kindness rock at
Alyssa's wishes.
So I write her name, you know,hundreds of times a week.
Oh my gosh, I paint every day,you know.
So sometimes it'll just bedepending on the size of the
rock.
It'll be a little less, butit's always when found.
Share picture.
And you know, sometimes youhear about them, somebody's
(09:39):
moving and they're like, oh mygosh, I found this in the drawer
.
I found it two years ago onvacation in Florida, you know.
And then and they're like, ohmy gosh, I found this in the
drawer.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
I found it two years ago on vacation in Florida, you
know, and then we all laugh, youknow.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
But yes, I get to write her name.
You know, not only talk abouther, but actually physically
write her name every day.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
So that's how do you get that so neat?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Well, I did take drafting in school and college.
You know, for horticulture.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Good for you.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Landscape design, you know.
But yeah, yes, and a good pen,a good pen helps.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
A really good pen.
That's the secret.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Uh-huh, a pointy pen.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
But you weren't content just with that right.
No, you created a little freelibrary.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Yes, Well, it's getting a little bit harder to
do, but every year on herbirthday we always try to do
something more.
Now, as time goes on, againobviously that gets harder, but
we keep trying.
And her sister's a writer.
We were always.
I was the scholastic book fairchairperson.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
We read every Harry.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Potter out loud.
We would be waiting in costumeat Borders for the new book to
come out at midnight.
We were those people Lissy,loved poetry.
We always had a house library,a library in our house.
So somewhere along the way in2019, I was like, well, what if
we opened one of those cutelittle library boxes We'd put.
You know, we already had theKindness Rocks garden out front
(11:03):
of our house, so we already hadsome traffic.
Where we live, there's a lot ofhomeschool families.
It seemed like a natural thing.
Ashley, her sister, is a writer.
So we said okay, let's do it.
So we had friends build themain box and it comes down to
the fact that we opened in Julyof 2020.
The world was closed and weopened a library.
(11:26):
So everything has been donated.
But that first year I waswiping books down because they
were coming in, you know, out ofpeople's houses.
We didn't know what was what.
Everyone was home.
So we were a destination, so wehit the ground running.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Perfect.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Yeah, it's quite extraordinary now that would
have been perfect.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
I'm sorry it's okay.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
We just um, after the uh four years of missouri
weather here, uh, the main woodbox has kind of uh had broken
down enough that we had toreplace it.
So this july we just had acommissioned a big metal ladybug
library to be built.
So she's huge and she's metaloh wow, I could see her out
(12:09):
there right now.
It's been busy today.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
No, no issues with the weather there um, nope, nope
, I'm.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
She gets a little hot in the sun, but that won't be a
problem.
For now, the big black walnuttree and what kind of books do
you?
Speaker 1 (12:28):
is it just just strictly kids books, or we?
Speaker 2 (12:31):
do a little bit of everything.
Most of our patrons arrive witha grown-up, so I would say
we're 75, 25, 75 kids books.
We always have a toddler annex.
That's low, it's a low box.
So originally in 2020, weopened the main box and then
each year past that we openedenough, we added to it, so it
had three boxes.
So there was a toddler annex.
(12:52):
When my granddaughter arrivedhere in Missouri, I was like,
okay, the toddlers you alwayssee the mom sort of dad's
holding up the kids to try toget a book out of the main box.
I was like what, if we put alittle box low, it's the busiest
spot in the library Busiestalways.
The busiest spot Always needsto be refilled.
It's crazy, it's crazy awesome.
And then we had a secondary boxbecause I have a little OCD and
(13:14):
it looked uneven.
So the next year we builtanother box and I would put like
seasonal or non-fiction.
We move a lot of non-fiction,but we have an extraordinary
neighborhood that has a lot of,like, walkers and bike riders
and it's um, so we have a lot ofregulars but um, but for the
most part the kids, you know.
(13:36):
So we get kids on bikes, we getkids on in golf carts, because
it's missouri golf carts.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, we did a few scooters.
You know I'm like okay when mykids were growing up it was four
wheelers, now it's golf carts.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Yeah, you know, I get a pack of teenagers out there
in a golf cart.
I'm like, okay, don't put ahelmet on, be careful, um,
somebody's gonna get killed,stop it.
You know, the mom in me comesright out.
But but, um, but for the mostpart, yes, we do both, because
most of the, the children, thepatrons that do arrive, come as
a family, you know, andgrown-ups will come for kids
(14:11):
books, the homeschoolers willcome as a family.
So, yeah, both that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
I was reading the notes I had taken before when we
were talking and and alissareally loved penguins.
Yes, she had, and all of asudden, I'm thinking, has one of
your rocks been to southamerica?
Speaker 2 (14:31):
I don't don't think we've been in south america.
I probably should have had themap open.
I really don't think we havebeen.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
I'm'm really bad at geography Because I have a
connection.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I will definitely send you a box to help us get
there.
I did an episode a while backfor a woman who has something
called Pancakes for Roger andit's a charity in honor of her
dad.
He was an Agent Orange Vietnamvet, okay, and they donate money
to law centers to help servicemembers who need legal help for
(15:06):
free.
But every year she does a thingcalled Pancakes for Roger,
where somebody you're supposedto take a picture of yourself, a
selfie, with a plate ofpancakes, and send it to them,
and she said she had everycountry in the world and then
she found somebody who was goingto South America to McMurdo
(15:27):
station.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Or not South America, I'm sorry, south pole, okay,
sorry.
And so she got in touch withhim and had him take the picture
.
They actually shipped pancakemix down there.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
And had him take the picture.
So I know somebody down therewow and had him take the picture
so I know somebody, I will, I'mgonna talk to her.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Okay, I'm gonna talk to her.
We'll make that happen.
I'm so I.
Everybody at the post officeknows when they ask the
questions I go with my little.
If it fits, it ships ten dollarbox, you know, and they ask the
questions is you know lithiumbatteries liquid?
You know perishable?
I'm like nope, just rocks.
You know lithium batteriesliquid?
You know perishable?
I'm like nope, just rocks.
You know, sometimes bookmarks,rocks and bookmarks.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Rocks and bookmarks.
This is so cool and what anamazing way to remember Alyssa
and, at the same time, make theworld a little better, a little
happier place.
I love that.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
It really is.
You know, I could have neverimagined that my therapy would
become.
You know the little.
You know.
We call it the kindness empirethat it's become.
You know yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
But even like today, you know the world is a little
angsty.
I put out an extra table ofbooks and I promoted it on
social media.
We help other libraries.
We'll help teachers seed theirclassrooms you know, new
teachers.
We're over.
35,000 books have traveledthrough my hands, 35,000.
(16:59):
And we know that because westicker the backs and put our
charter number on them.
It has a little lady booksticker on the and it'll say you
know the Little Ladybug Libraryand the charter number.
So like because thelittlefreelibraryorg empire has
a world map.
They're around the world andyou can actually put the app on
(17:20):
your phone and find thelibraries wherever you're
standing.
So we always travel with booksand it's also a good way because
then people look you up,because they can look you up by
the charter to see where thebook started.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
So if I were to put a little free library out in
front of my house, is itsomething you register with the
littlefreelibraryorg?
All of them do?
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I was going to say it's like $2525 and they assign
you a charter number and thenthat goes on there and then you
go on the map so, um, it's, it'sjust, it's fun.
I'm always I should be getting astipend from them, cause I'm
always promoting it, causewherever we go, you know you go
to the doctor three towns away.
I'm like, let me just see whereI am, you know, if there's
(18:06):
anybody new around that Ihaven't touched and I'll just go
throw a couple of books orbookmarks in the other library
and we'll absolutely put a linkto the littlefreelibraryorg in
the show notes for sure.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Where do you get your books from?
They?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
have been donated, all of them.
Today I went to pick mygranddaughter up at preschool
and stopped for lunch on the wayhome and there were two
gigantic totes on my front lawn.
When we came back, and thenright before I got on uh, the
phone with you, um, a womanbrought me like 11 boxes of
adult books.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
She's like is this too many?
I'm like we'll find a homewe'll find a home.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
We'll find a home for them.
So the mission now becomes partof that is to figure out.
We work with a lot of othernon-profits in the area.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Oh nice.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Like I said, we do stock a lot of other teacher
classrooms or people know toreach out.
That's always part of it.
For me now is to help the booksfind their people.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
So, yes, yes, and you , you said you did some work
with um animal shelters.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
We do.
Um, well, our dog won't.
You know, I raised my girls onLong Island, New York.
Um, our dog was from an animalshelter called Kent, which is
still there.
Um, so, because our dog wasfrom there when she first passed
away, we suggested that.
And the Riverhead MarineFoundation, which is also
(19:32):
connected to an aquarium on LongIsland, that does you know,
helps with the turtles and youdo beach cleanup and all the
things that were important toour lives when I was raising my
children.
So those two stayed and then Ilived in Louisiana for a little
while and now I'm here inMissouri.
So we've kind of added to theto the mix.
I've always tended to be onethat's kind of civically minded
(19:54):
and I need to do that both forme and then for her.
So, like right now for themonth of November, we are
actually have a tote out frontby the library and we're
collecting for one of those theanimal shelters that we support
here, also for a veteran's homelocally.
We had patrons that have nowbecome friends, also had great
(20:14):
loss in their life and they do alot of work with the veteran's
home.
Actually, you'll like this partof the story the baby boxes
from the original wood librarythey took and refurbished and
upscaled into a new library in adifferent part of the state in
Missouri.
So they're doing that.
And then the last one is onecalled no Shame, Kansas City,
(20:37):
which is about period povertyand women's products.
They collect women's productsfor the unborn.
Oh nice, which you know, as themom of girls and being a girl,
a woman kind of important.
So those are the three thatwe're working with right now.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
But yeah, so on the website.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
If you go to Alyssa's website the Alyssa's Wishesorg
website, not the social mediasthere's links to all the things
that we we try to supportthroughout the year yeah, and,
and you're on social media,right, you're on facebook,
you're on instagram yeah and um,my ashley has us on the tiktok
to laugh when I say the tiktok,we're on the tiktok like the
(21:18):
cool kids.
Um, yeah, we're all the places,we're all the places we're all
the places.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
I am also on the tickety talk see you're cool, I
knew you were cool, oh heck.
Yeah, it was so awesome.
I am so happy that you wereable to spend some time with me
today, karen, and I really,really appreciate you and I
appreciate what you're doing inAlyssa's name.
I know she's smiling down onyou so big right now and just
(21:50):
loving every minute of this.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Well, she definitely would love all the parts of it,
except the talking to all thepeople.
It's funny Her sister and I arevery outgoing and make friends
wherever we go, and she was notalways that way.
She had a very smaller circlethan the rest of us.
So when people ask me well,what would Alyssa think about
what you're doing, I'm like shewould love all of it.
You know, like she would loveheading to the garage now to
(22:14):
open those 11 boxes.
It's like Christmas, you know,and you don't know what you got
in them until you get them out.
But you know, the talking tothe people on the front lawn and
talking to you and those kindsof things would not be her jam.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Not her jam.
Hey you know what?
We all have our jam.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
As we say in my house .
Speaker 1 (22:33):
That's right, absolutely.
Thank you so much for takingthe time with me today, karen.
I so appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
I appreciate you, Mike, what you do every day as
far as promoting random acts ofkindness in the world that
obviously needs it and giving methe opportunity to talk about
my girl.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Fantastic.
Thanks so much and we will bein touch.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Okay, sounds good.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
I want to thank all of you for taking this time to
listen to this episode with myguest, karen Houck from Alyssa's
Wishes.
I hope you're able to takesomething positive from the time
you spent with me.
Maybe you'll be inspired, maybeyou'll be motivated, maybe
you'll be moved, and if youexperienced any of those
(23:16):
positive feelings, pleaseconsider sharing this podcast
with your friends and family.
Also, feel free to follow us onour socials like Facebook,
instagram, linkedin and TikTok.
This podcast is part of theMayday Media Network.
If you have an idea for apodcast and need some production
assistance, or have a podcastand are looking for a supportive
(23:38):
network to join, check outmaydaymedianetworkcom and check
out the many different shows,like Afrocentric Spoil, my Movie
Generation Mixtape In a PickleRadio Show, wake Up and Dream
with D'Anthony Palin and StacksOpaques.
We will be back again next weekwith a brand new episode and we
(24:01):
would be honored if you wouldjoin us.
You've been listening to theKindness Matters Podcast.
I'm your host, mike Rathbun.
Have a fantastic week.
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